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[announcer] You understand?
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Right now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's showtime!
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♪ And now ladies and gentlemen
ladies-- ladies and gentlemen ♪
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♪ Pete Pete Pete Pete Davidson ♪
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♪ Pete-- Pete Davidson ♪
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♪ Ladies and gentlemen Pete ♪
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Hello!
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What's up?
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♪ Pete Davidson ♪
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Thank you.
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Thank you very much.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Okay.
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Very, very cool.
I need that more than you know.
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Hey, everyone. We are here tonight
to induct some of the greatest stand-ups
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of all time into a place of honor
we're calling The Hall.
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Yes.
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So welcome to the first ever
Stand-Up Comedy Hall of Fame
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Introduction Ceremony.
I am Pete Davidson.
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Yes.
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The guy who took the special
out of comedy special.
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So we're gonna kick off this event
honoring comics who passed away
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and I'm pretty sure it's because they're
betting, like, I might not be alive
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by the time this airs.
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Trust me, I think I'm a weird choice
to intro a Stand-Up Hall of Fame too.
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In the last few years,
I've been onstage less than
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the babies inside Ali Wong.
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Tonight, we are honoring true legends.
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Like Joan Rivers, who sparked... yeah.
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Yeah.
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It sparked a very fierce debate at Netflix
about which face we were going to use
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for her picture.
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Well...
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we landed on that one.
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Robin Williams, who is the-- yeah.
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The GOAT.
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He's also the literal opposite of me
in energy, talent, and body hair.
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George Carlin.
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The soothing-- yes.
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George Carlin.
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The soothing voice of the conductor
on Thomas the Tank Engine.
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And the guy who taught you
the word cocksucker.
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And of course, Richard Pryor.
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Right?
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Richard Pryor, he redefined comedy
despite tragically giving Chevy Chase
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the confidence to say the N word.
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It's a real thing. Google that.
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The class tonight is very special.
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The Hall did their research in picking
the four nominees, okay?
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They didn't just select comedians
that were young and trendy,
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in hopes of boosting viewership.
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For some reason, they think I'll do that.
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Our four inductees tonight were all
legitimately voted in
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by a board of agents, club owners,
managers, and other influential members
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of the comedy community.
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Which is a long-winded way of saying Jews.
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It's going to be a really fun night,
seriously.
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We've got Mix Master Mike
from The Beastie Boys deejaying.
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Fucking sick.
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Super tight.
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And lots of great alive comedians
to talk about the dead ones.
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Like we got Mulaney, Chappelle,
and Handler, yeah.
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You could only see together these people
in a really nice theater,
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or an even nicer rehab.
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The Hall is going to be a part
of the National Comedy Center
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in Jamestown, New York.
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Yeah, that's a real place.
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But tonight, thank God,
is not about me.
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It's about these legends that are finally
getting the respect they deserve
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on the same streaming platform
that airs Is it Cake?
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So let's enjoy a healthy mix
of laughter and crying.
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Like me when I masturbate.
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And now, come on, I had to have a few
little hey... zingers in there.
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Want to know something really funny?
I... I couldn't do...
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this is the weirdest sentence
I think I've ever said.
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I couldn't put makeup on for this
because I got a spray tan.
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Which I think is the weirdest thing
I've ever said.
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Ever. And I asked my--
I'd never gotten a spray tan before,
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I asked my boy, I was like...
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"Do I do my dick and ass?"
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Like, I don't know what
I'm supposed to do.
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Do I get one of those Borat fucking
Speedos? I had no idea.
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And my boy was like,
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"No, leave it white.
More impressive that way."
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And now, it's my honor to introduce
my friend, Jon Stewart, okay?
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Jon Stewart...
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was recently honored
with the Mark Twain award.
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And is such a consummate performer,
he's equally excited to be doing this.
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Jon Stewart, everyone!
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♪ Jon... ♪
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Ho!
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♪ Jon, Jon Stewart ♪
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♪ Jon Stewart ♪
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♪ Jon, Jon, Jon ♪
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Pete Davidson!
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♪ Jon, Jon Stewart
Jon, Jon Stewart ♪
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-♪ Jon, Jon Stewart ♪
-Thanks for being here!
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Thanks to Pete Davidson.
You know, there are not a lot of comics
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who can come right from a duck blind
to the show.
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And still kill.
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I'm here to induct someone
that I have great respect for.
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I had the pleasure of knowing
for a little bit.
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Mr. George Carlin.
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[applause]
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Let us begin.
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Shit.
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Piss.
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Fuck.
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[crowd cheers]
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Sorry, scroll up.
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Cunt.
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[small cheer from crowd]
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You don't hear enough applause for that.
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Cocksucker.
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[crowd cheers]
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I see where the crowd's at.
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Motherfucker.
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[crowd cheers loudly]
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You're going to love the last one.
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Tits.
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[crowd cheers]
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Piss has got some work to do.
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Cunt and tits are killing it.
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1972, George Carlin uttered
the seven words
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you cannot say on television.
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Shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker,
motherfucker, and tits.
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I was nine.
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And I fell in love.
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I didn't know any of it, what it meant,
but the tits bit...
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cheese tits.
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It was then that George Carlin
established himself
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as a counter-culture hero.
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But it wasn't just about saying the words.
He had a point to it.
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It was the absurdity
that these seven words
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carried power when they were just words.
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They weren't deeds. They weren't thoughts.
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They weren't bad intentions.
They were just words.
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George Carlin was arrested.
Lenny Bruce was arrested.
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They were sued. They were taken to court.
They were brought in...
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on charges for saying words.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
that was 50 years ago.
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Today, those would be the titles
of the next seven Netflix shows.
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That was his moment.
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You know, we're a fortunate group.
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Comedians.
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Even more rare is when a comedian
has a moment
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in the culture
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when the times somehow meet the talent.
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And there's an alchemy
that creates greatness.
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That was George Carlin in the 1970s.
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He was everything!
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But even more rare, almost unheard of,
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is a comedian who gives up
making a living on the road
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to try and become a legend of the time.
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And that's where George Carlin's courage
and bravery,
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and not enough is said about that.
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This cat started in the 1960s
wearing the sharkskin suit.
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And the thin tie,
and going on Merv Griffin.
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And doing the impressions.
And he was making a living.
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His wife, Brenda.
His young daughter, Kelly.
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He bought a house. They were making it.
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And he was empty.
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He wasn't himself.
He wasn't actualized as an artist.
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And so he fucking threw it all away.
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The idea that you would give up
the dream of making a living
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and supporting your family--
they put their house in escrow.
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Because he felt he wasn't being himself.
He grew a beard, he grew out his hair.
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And he threw on some jeans.
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And he started doing bits about
Muhammad Ali getting thrown
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to the wolves
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for not allowing himself to be drafted
into Vietnam.
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And the bit was basically...
Muhammad Ali beats people up
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for a living. And what he said was,
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"I'll beat people up,
but I don't wanna kill them."
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And the government said...
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"If you're not gonna kill them,
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we're not gonna let you
beat them up."
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He didn't give a shit.
He just went out there.
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He was an artist.
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[crowd cheers]
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I was fortunate enough in the '90s
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to become friendly with George.
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I finally got a chance to go out and spend
some time with him out in Los Angeles.
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I was going to interview him
for a special.
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He was celebrating 40 years in comedy.
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We were doing it in Aspen, Colorado.
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Because generally, the people that produce
comedy shows have the wisdom
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to take a guy
whose had four heart attacks,
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and have him perform
where there's very little oxygen.
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That's why I don't do the
"HBO Is A Joke Festival."
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I do the Netflix Is A Joke Special.
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[applause]
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Look at you people.
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Displaying brand loyalty.
That's very exciting.
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[Jon laughs]
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You know, in his later years,
everybody said Carlin got real dark.
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You know, he cheered for the demise
of the world. That he became nihilistic.
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But it wasn't that at all.
It was disappointment.
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I'd never been with somebody
who had such empathy
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for the human condition.
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And I think his material in later years
was just a reflection of the fact that
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he was fucking truly heartbroken
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about what we were doing to each other.
And what we were doing to ourselves.
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But the interesting thing to me was,
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for a counterculture hero
like George Carlin,
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he really was a blue collar worker.
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He'd go to his office at 9:00 a.m.,
and he'd sit and write.
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I mean, I've never met a person
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who smoked that much pot
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and worked that hard.
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He would write his jokes...
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and then, he would get out the weed,
or as he would say to me
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when I was sitting in his office,
"It's punch-up time."
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George Carlin died in 2008.
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2006 or 2007, Twitter was born.
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If you go on Twitter,
every now and again,
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George Carlin is trending.
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On a platform that he really didn't have
any idea what it was.
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But he'll just pop up randomly
when weird shit goes down in the world.
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Because as a culture, we miss his voice.
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And that, for a comedian,
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is the greatest honor you can give.
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[applause]
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We miss him.
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We miss his voice.
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We want to know what he would think.
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Comedy's ephemeral, man.
Almost nobody survives their moment.
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He survived five decades
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as a trenchant observer, an analyst,
an absurdist, and a comedian.
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And a friend, and a father,
and a husband.
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And a humanitarian.
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He was incredible.
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And I can't tell you how often
I miss him.
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And how much I think about him,
and how grateful I was for...
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even the little time that we had
to spend together.
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Ladies and gentlemen, George Carlin.
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[applause]
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[Carlin] George Carlin.
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And George Carlin.
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I used to be this guy.
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Or maybe this guy used to be me.
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I don't know. We were each other
at one time.
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We have more ways to describe dirty words
than we actually have dirty words.
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That seems a little strange to me.
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It seems to indicate that somebody
was awfully interested in these words.
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They kept referring to them.
They called them bad words, dirty.
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Filthy. Foul. Vile. Vulgar.
251
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:07,967
Coarse.
252
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,720
In poor taste. Unseemly.
253
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:17,101
Street talk. Gutter talk.
Locker room language. Barracks talk.
254
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:21,105
Bawdy. Naughty. Saucy. Raunchy.
255
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:25,818
Rude. Crude. Lewd. Lascivious.
Indecent. Profane. Obscene.
256
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,778
Blue. Off color.
257
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:29,780
Risqué.
258
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,282
Suggestive.
259
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,368
Cursing. Cussing. Swearing.
260
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,954
All I could think of was
shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker,
261
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,330
motherfucker, and tits!
262
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,832
[crowd cheers]
263
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,751
"Take a shit" is another one.
264
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,671
Take a shit?
265
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,049
You don't take a shit, you leave a shit.
266
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:52,469
That's the whole idea!
267
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,138
To leave it!
268
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:03,355
Germs. Where did this sudden fear
of germs come from in this country?
269
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,648
Have you noticed this?
270
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,444
The media constantly running stories
about all the latest infections.
271
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,780
Salmonella, E. Coli, Hantavirus,
Bird Flu.
272
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,617
And Americans, they panic easily,
so now, everybody's running around
273
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,244
scrubbing this and spraying that.
274
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,997
And overcooking their food.
Repeatedly washing their hands
275
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,499
trying to avoid all contact with germs.
276
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,919
It's ridiculous, and it goes
to ridiculous lengths.
277
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:29,506
In prisons, before they give you
a lethal injection,
278
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,800
they swab your arm with alcohol.
279
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,095
Did you ever belch, and almost puke?
280
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,686
I never fucked a ten.
281
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,521
Never fucked a ten!
282
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,900
But one night, I fucked five two's.
283
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:49,651
Yeah.
284
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,946
Here's something you never hear a man say,
285
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,699
"Stop sucking my dick
or I'll call the police."
286
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,789
They wonder why there's no blue food.
287
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:08,754
Haven't we gone a little overboard
with these colored ribbons
288
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,005
for different causes?
289
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,132
Every cause has its own
colored ribbon now.
290
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,760
Red for AIDS. Blue for child abuse.
Pink for breast cancer.
291
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,054
Green for the rainforest.
Purple for urban violence.
292
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:20,349
I got a brown one. Know what it means?
Eat shit, motherfucker!
293
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,643
Eat shit, motherfucker!
294
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,979
But in the bullshit department,
in the bullshit department,
295
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:29,858
a businessman can't hold a candle
to a clergyman.
296
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,320
'Cause I got to tell you the truth, folks.
I got to tell you the truth.
297
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,114
When it comes to bullshit,
298
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:41,286
big time, major league bullshit,
you have to stand in awe,
299
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:45,624
in awe of the all-time champion
of false promises
300
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:49,545
and exaggerated claims, religion.
No contest.
301
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,672
No contest.
302
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,343
Religion. Religion easily has
303
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:59,555
the greatest bullshit story ever told.
304
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:04,226
Think about it.
Religion has actually convinced people
305
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:06,687
that there's an invisible man
306
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,148
living in the sky.
307
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,026
Who watches everything you do,
every minute of every day.
308
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:18,699
And the invisible man has a special list
of ten things he does not want you to do.
309
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,953
And if you do any of these ten things,
he has a special place
310
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:26,748
full of fire, and smoke, and burning,
and torture, and anguish,
311
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,294
where he will send you to live,
and suffer, and burn, and choke,
312
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:34,339
and scream, and cry forever and ever
till the end of time.
313
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,758
But he loves you.
314
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,725
He loves you.
315
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,356
He loves you, and he needs money!
316
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,027
He always needs money!
317
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,405
He's all powerful, all perfect,
all knowing, and all wise,
318
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,366
somehow, just can't handle money.
319
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:08,207
Religion takes in billions of dollars.
They pay no taxes.
320
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,500
And they always need a little more.
321
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,795
Now, you talk
about a good bullshit story.
322
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,048
Holy shit.
323
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:22,054
But I would like to bring you up to date
on the "Comedians Health Sweepstakes."
324
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:27,726
As it stands right now,
I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks
325
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:28,936
two to one.
326
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,355
I'm ahead. I am ahead.
327
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,523
That's right. Now...
328
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:39,279
However, Richard still leads me
one to nothing on burning yourself up.
329
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:46,870
Well, the way it happened was,
first Richard had a heart attack.
330
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,622
Then, I had a heart attack.
331
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,540
Then, Richard burned himself up.
332
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:54,127
Then, I said, fuck that,
I'm going to have another heart attack.
333
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,131
Why? Why?
334
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:04,972
Why? Why? Why is it that most of the
people who are against abortion
335
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,475
are people you wouldn't want to fuck
in the first place?
336
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,690
I'm a modern man.
A man for the millennium.
337
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,108
Digital and smoke-free.
338
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:19,236
A diversified, multicultural,
postmodern deconstructionist
339
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:22,197
politically, anatomically,
and ecologically incorrect.
340
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,200
I got a personal trainer,
a personal shopper, a personal assistant,
341
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,785
and a personal agenda.
342
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:29,579
You can't shut me up.
You can't dumb me down.
343
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,498
Because I'm tireless,
and I'm wireless.
344
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,667
I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers.
345
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,880
I'm a nonbeliever, and an overachiever.
Laid back, but fashion forward.
346
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,425
Upfront, down home, low rent,
high maintenance.
347
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:44,094
Super-sized, long-lasting,
high-definition, fast-acting,
348
00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:45,595
oven-ready, and built to last.
349
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,723
I'm a hands-on, footloose,
knee-jerk head case.
350
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,309
Prematurely post-traumatic,
and I have a love child
351
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:51,518
who sends me hate mail.
352
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:55,022
A fully equipped, factory authorized,
hospital tested, clinically proven,
353
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:57,065
scientifically formulated medical miracle.
354
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,985
I've been prewashed, precooked,
preheated, prescreened, preapproved,
355
00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,904
prepackaged, postdated, freeze dried,
double wrapped, vacuum packed,
356
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,782
and I have an unlimited
broadband capacity.
357
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,035
[applause]
358
00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:17,377
I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
359
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:20,797
Cocked, locked, and ready to rock.
Rough, tough, and hard to bluff.
360
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:23,425
I take it slow. I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
361
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:24,968
I got glide in my stride.
362
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,763
Driving and moving,
sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving,
363
00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,390
whaling and winning.
I don't snooze, so I don't lose.
364
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,851
I keep the pedal to the metal,
and the rubber on the road.
365
00:22:32,934 --> 00:22:35,562
I party hearty,
and lunchtime is crunch time.
366
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:40,442
I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough, over and out.
367
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,777
[applause]
368
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,821
[applause]
369
00:22:57,042 --> 00:23:01,296
It's my privilege to induct George Carlin
into The Hall.
370
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,592
♪♪
371
00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:14,059
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
I want to introduce our next...
372
00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:18,939
I don't know what you call the people
that induct better people into The Hall.
373
00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:20,732
The next one of me.
374
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,986
He's one of my favorite comedians
and people.
375
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,114
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. John Mulaney.
376
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:29,991
-[DJ scratching]
-[applause]
377
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:33,203
♪ John Mulaney ♪
378
00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:35,831
♪ John Mulaney ♪
379
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,290
♪ John Mulaney ♪
380
00:23:37,874 --> 00:23:38,917
Hey!
381
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:41,461
- ♪ John ♪
-Hello.
382
00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:43,380
♪ John Mulaney ♪
383
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:46,967
Thank you, Jon. Hello, everyone.
My name's John Mulaney.
384
00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:48,802
[crowd cheers]
385
00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:50,679
It's a pleasure to be here.
386
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:52,389
Robin Williams.
387
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:55,725
His career spanned about 38 years.
388
00:23:56,059 --> 00:23:59,563
But creatively, he packed in
a few centuries.
389
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:03,275
Here's what, to me,
separates Robin Williams
390
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:04,860
from every other comedian.
391
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:09,447
There is no footage of Robin Williams
phoning it in.
392
00:24:10,073 --> 00:24:14,911
There exists no recorded moment
when he wasn't giving his all.
393
00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:17,914
Whether he was onstage
at the Holy City Zoo,
394
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,583
at the Comedy Store,
395
00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:22,460
at the Metropolitan Opera House
in New York.
396
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:26,965
Whether he was onstage co-hosting
Comic Relief for years and years.
397
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:31,595
Making hundreds of millions of dollars
for medical care for the homeless.
398
00:24:31,678 --> 00:24:34,723
No matter what stage he was on,
yes, give it up for that.
399
00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:37,851
[applause]
400
00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:41,730
No matter what stage he was on,
he seemed to be immersing himself
401
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:45,275
completely in the performance,
and he seemed to love it totally.
402
00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:47,736
Robin Williams was also
in more good movies
403
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:50,405
than any human being
should be allowed to be in.
404
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,868
I watched Good Morning, Vietnam
a couple months ago.
405
00:24:54,951 --> 00:25:00,123
And go back and watch that movie.
Watch the first classroom scene
406
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,584
in that movie when Robin
is teaching English
407
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,002
to the people in Saigon.
408
00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:07,422
I've never seen a performance
where someone is funnier,
409
00:25:07,505 --> 00:25:11,551
and also laughing that genuinely
with people in a scene.
410
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:14,679
It feels like you're watching
this brilliant rehearsal.
411
00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:18,350
He's great even in mediocre movies.
412
00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:21,269
Remember that movie Nine Months
with Hugh Grant?
413
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:25,398
Whatever. It's fine. It's all right.
It's not great. It's not great.
414
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:29,694
But they know that.
Robin Williams...
415
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,113
is in it for 15 minutes.
416
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,825
And he's funnier than most people's
entire body of work.
417
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:38,161
He plays a Russian OB-GYN.
418
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:42,040
In one scene, who used to be
the head of obstetrics
419
00:25:42,123 --> 00:25:45,669
at a hospital in St. Petersburg
for animals.
420
00:25:45,752 --> 00:25:48,588
And he specialized in rats and monkeys.
421
00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:52,801
And he says to Hugh Grant
and Julianne Moore, he goes,
422
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:56,596
"After awhile, I figured you've seen
one rat ass, you've seen them all."
423
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,641
But then, that's a very funny part,
but then he goes,
424
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,143
he says this with such dignity.
425
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:06,398
Such quiet understatement.
He goes, "And last month I received
426
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:10,277
my new license.
And now, I can deliver human babies."
427
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:15,657
If you want to see an actor
simultaneously elevate
428
00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:18,702
what a comedic performance
could be emotionally,
429
00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:21,913
and what an emotional performance
could be comedically,
430
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:25,000
watch Robin Williams
in a movie called The Fisher King.
431
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:30,297
It is the best work on film
any comic actor has ever done.
432
00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:35,135
Here's an idea that I hear a lot.
433
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:40,974
Where people like to theorize
that comedy all comes from a place
434
00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:43,226
of pain, and sadness.
435
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:47,647
And people like to talk about comedians
as if we do what we do
436
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:49,649
because of some inner darkness.
437
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:54,237
And this is especially thrown around
when discussing Robin Williams.
438
00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:58,325
And with all due respect,
fuck off with that shit.
439
00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,701
Like...
440
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:04,873
have a little respect
for a brilliant artist
441
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,500
who was just more talented
than you.
442
00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:10,211
That's what was happening.
443
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:14,466
Making people laugh is incredibly fun.
444
00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:16,968
The art form of comedy
is a joy to perform.
445
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:21,264
And being a comedian
is not a psychiatric condition.
446
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:25,101
Are many of us also very fucked up,
myself included?
447
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:28,271
Yes! But... whatever.
448
00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:32,400
You know, there are depressed people
who don't even have the decency
449
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:33,860
to be great comedians.
450
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:37,489
Why don't you pick on them
for a change?
451
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:47,582
I was talking to Robin's daughter, Zelda,
about this.
452
00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:51,628
She wrote something back to me
that I wanted to read tonight.
453
00:27:51,711 --> 00:27:52,921
If you don't mind.
454
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,215
This is from Robin's daughter, Zelda.
455
00:27:55,298 --> 00:27:57,884
Talking about this idea, she said,
456
00:27:58,301 --> 00:28:02,514
"This is just one person's perception
of a much more complex man.
457
00:28:02,597 --> 00:28:06,142
But in my eyes,
so much of what Dad wanted to do
458
00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:08,103
was to brighten people's lives.
459
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:11,022
Especially those he thought
may need it the most.
460
00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:14,901
In that way, I think his drive
had much less to do with his own sadness,
461
00:28:14,984 --> 00:28:17,445
and much more to do
with lifting the world's.
462
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,698
He'd go to homeless shelters
and sit alone with them for hours.
463
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:24,244
He rode in triathlons
for challenged athletes foundations.
464
00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:27,664
And he would make all the other folks
laugh on the long journey.
465
00:28:27,747 --> 00:28:30,208
He went to hospitals.
He went to army bases.
466
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:32,419
To anywhere laughter was needed.
467
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,921
He loved knowing that
at the darkest moments,
468
00:28:35,004 --> 00:28:38,425
laughter really is the most incredible
salve for the soul.
469
00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:42,470
And it remains, in my eyes,
one of the hardest, most precious gifts
470
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,389
a human can give another.
471
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:48,643
My dad truly was happiest
when he was making others happy.
472
00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:49,769
Always."
473
00:28:50,478 --> 00:28:51,438
Well...
474
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:53,565
[applause]
475
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:02,824
And what more could you say
about a comedian or a person?
476
00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:04,909
Ladies and gentlemen, Robin Williams.
477
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,536
[applause]
478
00:29:08,872 --> 00:29:13,084
Is there someone here tonight that feels
the need to be healed by comedy?
479
00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:14,085
Is there anyone here?
480
00:29:15,378 --> 00:29:16,463
Look!
481
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,716
The moon, like a testicle,
hangs low in the sky.
482
00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:24,929
What sound or noise do you love?
483
00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:27,390
[fart noise]
484
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,600
[laughter]
485
00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:34,105
Is there a deaf signer here?
486
00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:36,065
Oh, how cool is that?
487
00:29:38,067 --> 00:29:39,194
Blow me.
488
00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:43,406
Thank you.
489
00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:46,951
I guess I should talk for a moment
about the very serious subject of...
490
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:49,704
schizophrenia. No, he doesn't.
Shut up, let him talk!
491
00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:53,291
My son is three years old.
It's an amazing time.
492
00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:55,543
It's like big head, little tiny body.
493
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,922
It's an outrageous time when they ask you
about everything. It's like...
494
00:29:59,005 --> 00:30:02,175
"Why is the sky blue?"
"Well, because of the atmosphere."
495
00:30:02,258 --> 00:30:04,928
"Why is there atmosphere?"
"Well, because we need to breathe."
496
00:30:05,011 --> 00:30:07,972
"Why do we breathe?"
"Why the fuck do you want to know?"
497
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:10,141
I always have this dream.
498
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:12,644
I have this dream, well,
like I guess every father.
499
00:30:12,727 --> 00:30:15,146
You have a dream that maybe one day,
500
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:18,775
one day it'll be my son
accepting the Nobel prize.
501
00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,694
I also have another dream
where it's my son going,
502
00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:23,363
"You want fries with this?"
503
00:30:24,197 --> 00:30:26,282
I was on this German talk show,
this woman said to me,
504
00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:29,118
she said, "Mr. Williams,
why do you think there's not so much
505
00:30:29,202 --> 00:30:30,703
comedy in Germany?"
506
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:34,123
I said, "Did you ever think
you killed all the funny people?"
507
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:37,335
But if you're Irish,
you'll kick my ass,
508
00:30:37,418 --> 00:30:39,796
but then you'll fucking
sing about it afterwards.
509
00:30:40,255 --> 00:30:42,549
♪ Oh, the night you said
My wife was fat ♪
510
00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:44,092
♪ I knocked you down
And shit in your hat ♪
511
00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:47,303
♪ Away the time we go with it
Coming away for air ♪
512
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:48,304
♪ Moving... ♪
513
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:51,266
Here's my idea for a fucking sport.
514
00:30:52,016 --> 00:30:54,269
I knock a ball in a gopher hole.
515
00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:57,897
"Oh, you mean like pool."
Fuck off, pool.
516
00:30:58,273 --> 00:31:01,526
Not with a straight stick.
With a little fucked-up stick.
517
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:05,363
I whack the ball.
It goes in a gopher hole.
518
00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:09,200
"You mean like croquet."
Fuck croquet!
519
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:13,037
I put the hole hundreds of yards away.
520
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,957
Fuck off, yeah.
521
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,876
Whacking away, and each time you miss,
522
00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:20,503
you feel like you're going
to have a stroke. [chuckles]
523
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:22,797
Fuck! That's what we'll call it!
524
00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:26,885
A stroke. Because every time you miss,
you feel like you're going to fucking die.
525
00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:30,805
I want the guy who does Mexican soccer
to do golf one time.
526
00:31:33,516 --> 00:31:36,019
The ball is rolling.
The ball is going to the...
527
00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:42,734
Hole!
528
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:47,113
Girls, if you want to get
that lovely tattoo of the sunrise
529
00:31:47,196 --> 00:31:49,824
rising out of your ass crack,
gorgeous when you're 20.
530
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:53,077
But when you're 50, it's an octopus
chasing a fucking starfish.
531
00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:55,788
So, no.
532
00:31:58,583 --> 00:31:59,709
[shouts]
533
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:01,961
Fuck!
534
00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:04,172
Peeing!
535
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:06,674
And then, you realize...
536
00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:10,470
that God gave you a penis
and a brain.
537
00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:14,474
And only enough blood to run one
at a time.
538
00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:20,939
[imitating John Wayne] That's right,
Corky. It's time to saddle up.
539
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,982
We're heading south of the border.
540
00:32:23,691 --> 00:32:25,318
You got to please Missy.
541
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,112
[normal voice] I have one question
for the ladies.
542
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:29,864
Do we look like this?
543
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:36,120
[laughter and applause]
544
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,709
[raucous laughter]
545
00:33:24,627 --> 00:33:26,212
Are you almost there?
546
00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:29,799
No, no, no. I will finish.
547
00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,927
No, no. No, I love you.
548
00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:36,055
I love you.
549
00:33:36,889 --> 00:33:38,307
I will finish.
550
00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:43,604
Look, I said I can take it.
I just can't feel my face.
551
00:33:44,814 --> 00:33:46,274
No, who's your daddy?
552
00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:49,944
I love you. I love you.
553
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:51,946
I'll finish. I'll finish.
554
00:33:52,989 --> 00:33:54,407
I'll finish...
555
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:58,119
[snores]
556
00:34:05,501 --> 00:34:06,586
Good night!
557
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:08,629
[applause]
558
00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:14,594
Yep.
559
00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:20,808
It is an honor to induct Robin Williams
into The Hall. Yes.
560
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:24,353
♪♪
561
00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:33,029
And this is a real delight
to bring up your next presenter.
562
00:34:33,112 --> 00:34:36,908
A comedian that I love watching
and a person that I love running into,
563
00:34:36,991 --> 00:34:39,494
who I haven't been able to see
in some time.
564
00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:41,871
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome the very funny
565
00:34:41,954 --> 00:34:44,290
and wonderful Miss Chelsea Handler.
566
00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:49,253
♪Chel Chel Chelsea
Chel Chel Chelsea ♪
567
00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:51,756
♪ Chel Chel Chel Chelsea ♪
568
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,550
-♪ Chelsea ♪
-Yeah!
569
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:59,055
♪ Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea.
Chel, Chelsea ♪
570
00:34:59,138 --> 00:35:00,431
- ♪ Chelsea ♪
-Hi, everybody!
571
00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:03,392
-♪ Handler ♪
-Hi!
572
00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:04,685
[applause]
573
00:35:05,895 --> 00:35:08,481
Thank you so much. Thank you.
574
00:35:08,564 --> 00:35:11,776
I'm here to talk about Mrs. Joan Rivers.
575
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:13,319
[applause]
576
00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:20,034
The first time I met Joan Rivers
we were both on E.
577
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,744
And not the fun kind.
578
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:27,834
I was too young, too confident,
and too arrogant
579
00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:32,046
to believe anyone had a hand
in my success but myself.
580
00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:35,591
Now, I know that
for every success I've had,
581
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:40,221
it was because someone came before me
who was bolder, and braver,
582
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:45,309
and good luck finding someone as bold
and as brave as Joan Rivers.
583
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:46,769
[applause]
584
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:56,154
She once said, "Stevie Wonder,
that poor son of a bitch.
585
00:36:00,533 --> 00:36:05,454
Who's going to tell him he's wearing
a macramé plant holder on his head?"
586
00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,877
And of course, there were the classics.
587
00:36:11,460 --> 00:36:16,549
She also said, "Elizabeth Taylor
is so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin."
588
00:36:19,552 --> 00:36:23,389
So I am humbled
to stand up here tonight
589
00:36:23,472 --> 00:36:27,143
and pay homage to her life,
and to her work.
590
00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:32,857
Joan was born in 1933
as Joan Alexandra Molinsky.
591
00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:36,527
She was born in Brooklyn, New York.
She started out as many of us did,
592
00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:38,821
working odd jobs to make ends meet.
593
00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:41,824
She was a tour guide
at Rockefeller Center.
594
00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:45,286
She worked as a proofreader
at a New York ad agency.
595
00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:49,207
And she also worked for a brief time
as a fashion consultant,
596
00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:52,835
a skill that would come in handy
decades later
597
00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:56,464
when she formed the Fashion Police
with her daughter, Melissa.
598
00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:05,264
They invented eye rolls
and celebrity smackdowns
599
00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:07,850
decades before Jada and Will.
600
00:37:15,107 --> 00:37:18,778
Joan soon found her home onstage
making people laugh.
601
00:37:18,861 --> 00:37:21,739
Laughing at celebrities,
laughing at politics,
602
00:37:21,822 --> 00:37:24,242
and mostly laughing at herself.
603
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:28,037
She launched her stand-up career
at clubs in Greenwich Village.
604
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:32,208
Sharing bills with the likes
of George Carlin and Richard Pryor.
605
00:37:32,291 --> 00:37:35,211
Joan's routine at the time closed
with the punchline
606
00:37:35,294 --> 00:37:37,463
"I'm Joan Rivers, and I put out."
607
00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:42,301
I think that's a pretty strong opener
as well.
608
00:37:43,302 --> 00:37:47,265
And then, after almost a decade
of struggling in dingy clubs,
609
00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:52,144
Joan became an overnight sensation.
After being rejected multiple times,
610
00:37:52,228 --> 00:37:55,564
she was booked on The Tonight Show
Starring Johnny Carson.
611
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,316
[applause]
612
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:04,657
It was February 17th, 1965.
And that night changed everything.
613
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:08,995
Johnny Carson sat there wiping tears
of laughter from his cheeks,
614
00:38:09,078 --> 00:38:12,707
and he said, "God, you're funny.
You're going to be a star."
615
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:14,250
And he was right.
616
00:38:14,333 --> 00:38:15,960
[applause]
617
00:38:20,172 --> 00:38:23,676
She was in command,
and Johnny, the King of Late Night,
618
00:38:23,759 --> 00:38:25,803
was clearly in awe.
619
00:38:25,886 --> 00:38:29,015
She was showing us that you could enter
the boy's club,
620
00:38:29,098 --> 00:38:32,643
and not only leave them laughing,
but if you were funny enough,
621
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:34,186
you could dominate them.
622
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:36,814
[cheers and applause]
623
00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:43,321
Joan played Carnegie Hall.
She won a Grammy. She won an Emmy.
624
00:38:43,404 --> 00:38:47,366
She earned a Tony nomination.
She wrote 12 best-selling books.
625
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:50,536
She redefined the red carpet
as we know it today.
626
00:38:50,619 --> 00:38:54,123
And most impressively,
she wasn't afraid to be herself.
627
00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:57,835
Joan found her own acerbic
and trailblazing voice
628
00:38:57,918 --> 00:39:00,004
at a time when women did not speak out.
629
00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:03,632
And when a lot of people get famous,
they become safer.
630
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:05,009
And more guarded.
631
00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:07,428
Because suddenly,
there's too much to lose.
632
00:39:07,511 --> 00:39:09,889
But not Joan.
The more successful she became,
633
00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:12,975
the louder, and the more unapologetic
she was.
634
00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:16,562
She pushed boundaries,
and she put everything on the line
635
00:39:16,645 --> 00:39:17,980
for a laugh.
636
00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,274
She was criticized her whole life
637
00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:24,779
for being too abrasive, too gossipy,
too personal.
638
00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:29,200
But there was always something deeper
under the surface of her jokes.
639
00:39:29,283 --> 00:39:33,954
She refused to apologize for anything,
saying, "Part of my act
640
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:35,998
is meant to shake you up.
641
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:40,795
It looks like I'm being funny,
but I'm reminding you of other things.
642
00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:43,756
Life is tough, darling.
Life is hard.
643
00:39:43,839 --> 00:39:45,758
And we better laugh at everything,
644
00:39:45,841 --> 00:39:48,344
otherwise we're going straight
down the tube."
645
00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:49,804
[applause]
646
00:39:54,016 --> 00:39:56,560
And she didn't just love
making people laugh.
647
00:39:56,644 --> 00:39:59,230
She loved people
who made other people laugh.
648
00:39:59,563 --> 00:40:03,526
She once said, "If one more female
comedian comes up to me and says,
649
00:40:03,609 --> 00:40:06,570
'You opened the doors for me,'
I want to say 'Fuck you.
650
00:40:06,654 --> 00:40:08,864
I'm still opening the doors for you.'"
651
00:40:08,948 --> 00:40:10,950
[cheers and applause]
652
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:14,495
And she still is.
653
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:17,498
Not even her death in 2014
could stop her,
654
00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:21,252
thanks to her legacy,
she is still opening doors
655
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:24,630
for women from some big red carpet
in the sky.
656
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,676
Ladies and gentlemen, Joan Rivers!
657
00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:31,512
[applause]
658
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:35,683
This business, it's all about
casting couches.
659
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,477
I just want you to know,
my name is Joan Rivers,
660
00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:39,770
and I put out.
661
00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:43,899
My wedding night was a disaster
because I have zero-zero.
662
00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:47,403
My husband said,
"Let me help you with the buttons."
663
00:40:47,486 --> 00:40:48,821
And I said...
664
00:40:49,321 --> 00:40:51,323
[laughter]
665
00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:56,745
I said, "I'm naked!"
666
00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:00,958
When you're not wanted,
you know from the beginning.
667
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:02,585
All I ever heard growing up is,
668
00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:04,462
"Why can't you be like
your cousin Sheila?
669
00:41:04,545 --> 00:41:06,714
Why can't you be like
your cousin Sheila?"
670
00:41:06,797 --> 00:41:09,675
Sheila had died at birth.
Oh, yes!
671
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:14,305
First wives were too good.
We worry, the hair grows gray.
672
00:41:14,388 --> 00:41:16,390
Husband has a heart condition,
we're upset.
673
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:19,435
We pawn our rings to buy him a pacemaker.
Anything, right?
674
00:41:19,518 --> 00:41:21,437
Second wife, the husband's got
a heart condition,
675
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,355
she's walking behind him going,
"Boo!"
676
00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:25,399
That's the difference.
677
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:27,276
That's the difference!
678
00:41:27,359 --> 00:41:29,153
Also cremated my mother-in-law.
679
00:41:29,236 --> 00:41:31,947
And it was, oh, to cremate
your mother-in-law,
680
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:34,158
you don't know.
You should never know this.
681
00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:36,702
I was flying,
and I took the plane directly,
682
00:41:36,785 --> 00:41:38,579
Montreal, London,
London, Montreal.
683
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:41,624
I'm flying back, I thought,
I should have waited till she was dead.
684
00:41:41,707 --> 00:41:43,667
And I was just...
685
00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:46,253
Kissing on the first date,
that wasn't allowed.
686
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:47,713
-[Joan] Are you kidding?
-That secluded?
687
00:41:47,796 --> 00:41:50,799
-Edgar and I still haven't started.
-[Carson] I didn't know that.
688
00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:54,595
If my husband didn't toss and turn in
his sleep, I wouldn't have had the kids.
689
00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:56,722
[laughter and applause]
690
00:42:00,559 --> 00:42:01,685
You know, right?
691
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,107
I can come home from work
with lipstick on my collar,
692
00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:08,484
he couldn't care less.
693
00:42:08,567 --> 00:42:11,695
I pretend I had an affair.
You want to talk about getting him crazy?
694
00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:13,781
I thought, "This will get him insane."
Right?
695
00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:16,116
We're lying in bed,
I'm pretending I'm talking in my sleep,
696
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,203
and I'm saying things like,
"No, Tim, it's not right!"
697
00:42:19,828 --> 00:42:23,707
"No, Tim, it's not right.
My God, it's just not right."
698
00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:27,503
Next morning, my husband left me a note:
"Tell Tim it's all right."
699
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:32,758
We all go through the same thing at 40,
you begin to lose your eyesight.
700
00:42:32,841 --> 00:42:35,344
I don't care who you are.
You can't read the birthday card.
701
00:42:35,427 --> 00:42:38,973
At 50, the memory starts to go.
"Let's go see that movie.
702
00:42:39,056 --> 00:42:41,350
You know the one.
You know what I'm getting..."
703
00:42:41,433 --> 00:42:44,603
At 60, you start to fart.
You just fart, fart, fart, fart, fart.
704
00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:48,399
Yes. And at 70,
you lose your sense of smell.
705
00:42:48,482 --> 00:42:51,819
So between 60 and 70,
it is a terrible time.
706
00:42:51,902 --> 00:42:52,945
Oh!
707
00:42:53,028 --> 00:42:56,282
[Joan] Everyone watched the Carson Show.
708
00:42:56,365 --> 00:42:59,118
And when Carson said to me,
"You're going to be a star,"
709
00:42:59,201 --> 00:43:01,620
my life changed.
710
00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,998
I'm very sentimental.
Look at the dedication in the book.
711
00:43:04,081 --> 00:43:05,708
-[Carson] I know, it's very sweet of you.
-Yeah.
712
00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:06,834
It was very sweet of you.
713
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:09,003
-You talk about sentiment...
-You didn't have to do that.
714
00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:09,920
It's to...
715
00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:13,591
It says, talks about your baby.
Then you have a dedication.
716
00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:14,675
-Can I read it?
-[Joan] Sure.
717
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,802
-It says, "To Edgar," your husband.
-[Joan] Had to do that.
718
00:43:16,885 --> 00:43:19,888
"Who made this book happen.
Who made this book happen.
719
00:43:19,972 --> 00:43:21,557
To Johnny Carson,
who made it all happen."
720
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,767
That's very sweet of you. That's nice.
721
00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:27,187
[Joan] Fox came and offered me
my own show.
722
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,523
And Edgar would be the producer.
723
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:31,191
Of course we said yes.
724
00:43:32,401 --> 00:43:35,529
After 20 years on The Tonight Show,
725
00:43:37,072 --> 00:43:39,575
the first person I called
was Johnny Carson.
726
00:43:40,075 --> 00:43:43,495
He slammed the phone down.
Called him again, slammed it down again.
727
00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:47,541
And never spoke to me again. Ever.
728
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,835
Monica Lewinsky, is she here?
729
00:43:50,794 --> 00:43:53,339
Look under your chairs.
Monica, my idol!
730
00:43:54,423 --> 00:43:57,301
This girl has seven million dollars
731
00:43:57,384 --> 00:44:00,179
from having oral sex
with the President of the United States.
732
00:44:00,262 --> 00:44:01,972
Do you understand what I'm telling you,
Canada?
733
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:04,016
Seven million dollars!
734
00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:05,726
Doesn't that upset you?
735
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:07,978
If I could do it again...
736
00:44:08,729 --> 00:44:11,482
If I could do it again,
I would say to my daughter,
737
00:44:11,565 --> 00:44:14,485
when she was 16, "Melissa,
come in the den, bring a banana.
738
00:44:14,568 --> 00:44:16,945
Get on your knees.
Mama wants to talk to you."
739
00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:19,907
Sometimes, I say to them, "Staff!"
740
00:44:21,450 --> 00:44:22,743
"I'm lonely.
741
00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:26,163
Who's going to fuck me tonight, staff?"
742
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:28,791
Oh, I'm staring at you.
743
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,878
Look at the person.
Don't look at me.
744
00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:36,507
Look at the person.
This is not fucking hard.
745
00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:38,258
Look at the person.
746
00:44:38,801 --> 00:44:42,179
We're going to say it three times.
This is what life is about.
747
00:44:42,262 --> 00:44:45,516
One, I'm so glad.
Come on, guys.
748
00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:48,102
I'm so glad.
749
00:44:48,644 --> 00:44:50,229
I'm so glad.
750
00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:53,982
I'm so glad... I'm not you.
751
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:57,444
Thank you and good night!
A pleasure working with you.
752
00:44:58,529 --> 00:45:00,781
That's the funniest woman
in the world.
753
00:45:00,864 --> 00:45:03,033
And we'll be back after this message.
754
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:08,372
[Joan] But there's an importance for me
for this type of event for comedy
755
00:45:08,455 --> 00:45:10,290
because I'm always left out of it.
756
00:45:10,582 --> 00:45:14,837
So for me, this is nice to be included.
Because I'm usually not included.
757
00:45:18,757 --> 00:45:23,637
[cheering and applauding]
758
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:32,104
Well, Joan, you might have put out,
but tonight we're going to put you in.
759
00:45:32,187 --> 00:45:35,941
It is my great honor to induct you
into The Hall.
760
00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:40,737
♪♪
761
00:45:45,075 --> 00:45:49,455
And it's my pleasure to introduce
the roast master himself,
762
00:45:49,538 --> 00:45:52,332
a man who is a good friend
to every comedian
763
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:53,667
that he's ever met.
764
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:55,627
Please welcome Jeff Ross.
765
00:45:56,295 --> 00:45:59,465
♪♪
766
00:46:00,966 --> 00:46:02,384
♪ The roast master ♪
767
00:46:03,302 --> 00:46:06,680
♪ The roast, the roast master ♪
768
00:46:06,763 --> 00:46:08,932
How about a hand for Chelsea, everybody.
769
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:13,604
♪ Jeff Ross
Jeff Jeff Ross ♪
770
00:46:13,687 --> 00:46:16,064
Whoo! Hello, comedy world!
How are you doing?
771
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:17,733
[crowd cheers]
772
00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:22,154
I am here to present tonight's
in memoriam segment.
773
00:46:22,237 --> 00:46:27,075
Because recently, comedy has lost
Norm Macdonald,
774
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:29,703
Louie Anderson, Bob Saget,
775
00:46:30,078 --> 00:46:32,831
Gilbert Gottfried, and Will Smith.
776
00:46:38,086 --> 00:46:40,589
Any Gilbert Gottfried fans here tonight?
777
00:46:40,672 --> 00:46:42,382
[crowd cheers]
778
00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:46,220
I loved Gilbert.
779
00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:51,141
I did get to see Gilbert in the hospital
right before he passed away.
780
00:46:51,225 --> 00:46:54,770
I'm glad I got the chance to thank him
for being my pal.
781
00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:57,481
And I held his hand,
and I said goodbye.
782
00:46:57,564 --> 00:47:01,652
It was hard for the doctors
to pronounce an exact time of death.
783
00:47:01,735 --> 00:47:04,947
Because Gilbert's eyes were always
kind of closed.
784
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:15,249
I was doing a show for Netflix
where I roast historical figures.
785
00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:18,961
And I called Gilbert's agent,
and I said, "I need Gilbert to come out
786
00:47:19,044 --> 00:47:21,713
to LA and play Adolf Hitler."
787
00:47:23,924 --> 00:47:28,095
And his agent said, "No way.
It's not appropriate.
788
00:47:28,178 --> 00:47:32,307
Gilbert's first time on Netflix
is not going to be playing Adolf Hitler."
789
00:47:33,475 --> 00:47:35,852
So I called Gil myself, and I said,
790
00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:38,814
"Gilbert, I need someone
to play Adolf Hit--"
791
00:47:38,897 --> 00:47:41,149
And he went, "Ler?
792
00:47:42,192 --> 00:47:43,277
I'll do it!"
793
00:47:46,822 --> 00:47:49,199
And he flew out.
We sent him into wardrobe.
794
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:52,286
And Gilbert came to rehearsal
with a lederhosen,
795
00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:57,374
and a Hitler mustache,
and a swastika armband.
796
00:47:57,958 --> 00:47:59,167
Then, we broke for lunch,
797
00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:02,170
and Gilbert was still wearing
the swastika armband.
798
00:48:02,254 --> 00:48:04,172
And we did the show.
799
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:07,050
We went to the after-party,
and I couldn't get him
800
00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:09,344
to take the swastika armband off.
801
00:48:11,763 --> 00:48:14,474
I think he wore it on the plane home
the next day.
802
00:48:16,101 --> 00:48:19,104
But he was so funny that night.
And let me tell you something.
803
00:48:19,187 --> 00:48:22,566
Gilbert Gottfried was the best
Hitler ever.
804
00:48:24,026 --> 00:48:29,281
Mel Brooks once said that comedy
is revenge through ridicule.
805
00:48:29,364 --> 00:48:34,703
What better way to mock the Nazis
then have their führer played by
806
00:48:34,786 --> 00:48:37,956
the loudest, most obnoxious Jew
in history.
807
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,417
So... Heil Gilbert!
808
00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:47,341
Any Louie Anderson fans here?
809
00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:49,092
[crowd cheers]
810
00:48:50,802 --> 00:48:52,971
What an original voice in comedy.
811
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:57,100
Louie Anderson turned his childhood
pain into concert tours,
812
00:48:57,184 --> 00:49:02,105
TV specials, and animated shows.
And he made it all hilarious.
813
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:06,485
Louie gave us a way in to look,
and laugh at our own childhoods.
814
00:49:07,194 --> 00:49:10,197
He was also a recent Emmy winner,
a best-selling author,
815
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,115
a hit game show host,
816
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:15,160
and a spokesman for Land-O-Lakes butter.
817
00:49:16,161 --> 00:49:18,622
Both officially and unofficially.
818
00:49:20,957 --> 00:49:26,254
The first time I met Louie Anderson,
we were both standing at adjoining urinals
819
00:49:26,338 --> 00:49:28,924
in a men's room at a comedy club
in New York.
820
00:49:29,007 --> 00:49:31,551
I was 24-year-old open micer,
821
00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:34,763
and I'm pretty sure Louie
propositioned me.
822
00:49:35,555 --> 00:49:40,352
And I'm not going to spill secrets here,
but let's just say,
823
00:49:40,435 --> 00:49:42,521
I've been a huge fan ever since.
824
00:49:43,855 --> 00:49:46,191
We're so lucky Louie shared his life
with us.
825
00:49:46,274 --> 00:49:48,694
Life without Lilly won't be the same.
826
00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:50,529
Long live Lilly Anderson.
827
00:49:50,612 --> 00:49:52,489
[applause]
828
00:49:56,910 --> 00:50:00,163
I know we got some Norm Macdonald fans
here tonight.
829
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:01,790
[crowd cheers]
830
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:08,588
Norm had so many jokes
that I think about all the time.
831
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:11,216
Whenever daylight savings time
rolled around,
832
00:50:11,299 --> 00:50:14,678
Norm would always say,
"I give it six months."
833
00:50:17,139 --> 00:50:20,726
Norm got fired from Saturday Night Live
for making too many jokes
834
00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:22,144
about O.J. Simpson.
835
00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:26,106
But comedians are supposed
to tell the truth
836
00:50:26,189 --> 00:50:28,358
no matter what the consequences.
837
00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:30,652
And that's what Norm did.
838
00:50:30,736 --> 00:50:33,905
I just wish he'd told us the truth
about his health.
839
00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:37,159
We all would have been able to tell him
how much we loved him.
840
00:50:37,659 --> 00:50:39,703
But that wasn't Norm's way.
841
00:50:39,786 --> 00:50:43,081
He was always one step ahead of us
right up until the end.
842
00:50:44,082 --> 00:50:45,500
I'm going to miss that guy.
843
00:50:46,543 --> 00:50:48,503
Where are my Bob Saget fans?
844
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:50,338
[crowd cheers]
845
00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,972
Bob was like my brother.
846
00:50:59,055 --> 00:51:00,682
But he was America's dad.
847
00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:02,434
Like Bill Cosby.
848
00:51:04,811 --> 00:51:08,106
Except Bob put people to sleep
the old-fashioned way.
849
00:51:10,275 --> 00:51:12,652
By talking about his charity work.
850
00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:18,033
Bob's wife, John Stamos,
told me about how...
851
00:51:19,826 --> 00:51:22,704
how fans would stop Bob
all the time.
852
00:51:22,788 --> 00:51:24,080
They'd want to hug him.
853
00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:27,000
They'd get emotional,
and they'd say things to Bob like,
854
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:31,338
"I didn't... I grew up without a dad,
and your character on Full House,
855
00:51:31,421 --> 00:51:34,508
Danny Tanner, he was like my dad,
so thank you."
856
00:51:34,966 --> 00:51:37,844
And in his honor,
please donate if you can
857
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:40,263
to the Scleroderma Research Foundation.
858
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:43,391
A cause that meant so much to Bob.
859
00:51:43,975 --> 00:51:47,562
Bob was so strong, and so supportive
when life got hard.
860
00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:51,316
I hope everyone here
has a friend like Bob.
861
00:51:52,317 --> 00:51:57,239
He was this gigantic TV star,
but he lived his life like a comedian.
862
00:51:57,572 --> 00:52:02,118
He even died like a comic
on the road, alone, in a hotel room.
863
00:52:02,953 --> 00:52:04,955
He slipped and hit his head.
864
00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:10,752
Which is kind of poetic for a guy
who hosted America's Funniest Home Videos.
865
00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:23,974
If Bob were here, he'd be like,
"Can I use that? That's good."
866
00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:27,936
[crowd cheers]
867
00:52:29,563 --> 00:52:30,522
Thanks.
868
00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:32,941
[applause]
869
00:52:35,902 --> 00:52:38,780
These four future Hall of Famers
may be gone,
870
00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:40,407
but their laughs live on.
871
00:52:40,490 --> 00:52:45,579
So let's all give it up one last time
for Gilbert, Louie, Norm, and Bob.
872
00:52:46,204 --> 00:52:47,956
[cheers and applause]
873
00:52:55,297 --> 00:52:56,506
Whoo!
874
00:52:57,090 --> 00:53:01,261
And now, it is my great honor
to welcome "The Closer,"
875
00:53:01,344 --> 00:53:03,388
Dave Chappelle!
876
00:53:03,471 --> 00:53:06,308
♪♪
877
00:53:06,391 --> 00:53:07,767
♪ The Closer ♪
878
00:53:09,060 --> 00:53:11,396
♪ The... The Closer ♪
879
00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:16,443
♪ The Closer
Dave Dave Dave Chappelle ♪
880
00:53:16,526 --> 00:53:19,738
♪ Dave Dave Chappelle ♪
881
00:53:19,821 --> 00:53:23,116
♪ Dave Dave Dave ♪
882
00:53:23,199 --> 00:53:27,579
♪ Dave Dave Chappelle ♪
883
00:53:27,662 --> 00:53:30,081
♪ Dave Dave Chappelle ♪
884
00:53:30,582 --> 00:53:31,958
Oh, boy.
885
00:53:33,084 --> 00:53:34,294
Thanks for being here.
886
00:53:34,377 --> 00:53:37,047
I don't know how you get to be
in this audience,
887
00:53:37,130 --> 00:53:38,965
but you lucky motherfuckers.
888
00:53:39,674 --> 00:53:41,885
-[man 1] Dave!
-[man 2] We love you, Dave!
889
00:53:41,968 --> 00:53:43,303
Hey, thanks, buddy.
890
00:53:44,137 --> 00:53:48,892
I love you too, in a very impersonal,
heterosexual kind of way.
891
00:53:53,980 --> 00:53:57,192
I got a heavy lift tonight because
it's my honor to get to...
892
00:53:57,651 --> 00:53:58,944
to induct the GOAT.
893
00:53:59,945 --> 00:54:02,030
[cheers and applause]
894
00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:05,992
Richard Pryor.
895
00:54:07,243 --> 00:54:08,578
Richard Pryor.
896
00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:10,372
[cheers and applause]
897
00:54:11,831 --> 00:54:16,252
The greatest stand-up comedian
that ever lived.
898
00:54:19,005 --> 00:54:24,219
Not to make it personal,
but comedians love Richard Pryor.
899
00:54:24,302 --> 00:54:28,056
There's a story that we always revel in
of him walking off stage
900
00:54:28,139 --> 00:54:30,475
in Las Vegas in the middle of a show.
901
00:54:30,850 --> 00:54:31,977
And when he did it,
902
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:36,064
whoever promoted the show told him
he'd never work in Vegas again.
903
00:54:36,147 --> 00:54:37,273
And he said, "I don't care."
904
00:54:37,357 --> 00:54:40,527
He said, "If you said I'd never fuck
in Vegas again, I'd be worried."
905
00:54:46,658 --> 00:54:50,120
Abruptly, he left show business
and went into the unknown
906
00:54:50,203 --> 00:54:53,415
of what his future might be.
And it took him to San Francisco.
907
00:54:53,498 --> 00:54:56,668
And with the help of Paul Mooney,
and some other people,
908
00:54:56,751 --> 00:55:02,132
he started doing all-Black rooms,
and slowly but surely,
909
00:55:02,215 --> 00:55:05,760
he became the Richard Pryor
that we've come to love.
910
00:55:05,844 --> 00:55:09,514
It wasn't just Black rooms that he was
doing that made that transformation.
911
00:55:09,597 --> 00:55:10,932
It was cocaine.
912
00:55:16,896 --> 00:55:19,858
Sometimes, I'll see a comedian
have a great joke, and I'll say,
913
00:55:19,941 --> 00:55:21,359
"Man, I wish I wrote that joke."
914
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,445
But the joke will be
about something personal.
915
00:55:23,528 --> 00:55:26,406
I know that that person lived
through something very difficult
916
00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:29,993
to be able to say something that funny
about their own life.
917
00:55:30,076 --> 00:55:32,078
Richard Pryor was like that.
918
00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:34,080
When I was 19, I remember,
919
00:55:34,706 --> 00:55:38,334
I did an event that he attended
at the Apollo Theater in Harlem.
920
00:55:38,418 --> 00:55:40,545
And I came in as he was coming in.
921
00:55:41,296 --> 00:55:43,006
They were wheeling him
in a wheelchair.
922
00:55:43,089 --> 00:55:45,341
I was standing behind him.
I didn't say one word to him.
923
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:47,218
But I looked behind his ear.
924
00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:51,389
And I could see the scars
from when he burnt himself.
925
00:55:52,348 --> 00:55:53,975
And it made me want to cry.
926
00:55:55,018 --> 00:55:57,645
Not long after that,
I opened for him.
927
00:55:57,729 --> 00:56:00,356
At Newark Symphony Hall.
928
00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:04,360
I couldn't believe that he was a legend
doing a gig in Newark.
929
00:56:07,739 --> 00:56:09,407
I met him backstage.
930
00:56:09,699 --> 00:56:12,160
He remembered my name,
shook my hand.
931
00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:17,082
And he came out to the eeriest song.
It was a song called "I'm Calling You."
932
00:56:17,665 --> 00:56:20,376
And he did about 15 minutes.
933
00:56:20,877 --> 00:56:22,587
And he stopped talking.
934
00:56:22,670 --> 00:56:25,924
And he told the crowd, "I'm sorry.
I just can't do this tonight."
935
00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:30,386
And you could have heard a pin drop
in that room.
936
00:56:30,970 --> 00:56:32,931
And a guy in the back stood up
937
00:56:33,431 --> 00:56:37,644
and screamed out like he wanted to fight.
He said, "I love you, Richard!"
938
00:56:38,937 --> 00:56:40,522
The whole crowd went crazy.
939
00:56:41,064 --> 00:56:44,484
I mean, this was sincerely the longest
ovation I've ever seen
940
00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:47,278
to this day in comedy.
And I was a young man,
941
00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:50,782
but I understood that I was witnessing
actual love.
942
00:56:51,282 --> 00:56:54,869
That it didn't matter if he did good or
bad, they just wanted to be around him
943
00:56:54,953 --> 00:56:56,079
one more time.
944
00:56:56,162 --> 00:56:59,582
And they sent him off lovely.
And said a great goodbye.
945
00:56:59,874 --> 00:57:03,628
And the moment that I saw that,
it informed the rest of my career.
946
00:57:03,711 --> 00:57:06,756
I knew that's exactly what I wanted
for my life.
947
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,967
And that's exactly how I want
my career to end.
948
00:57:09,050 --> 00:57:10,426
Well, maybe not exactly.
949
00:57:12,470 --> 00:57:13,680
Not in Newark.
950
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:25,316
Paul Mooney was a big influence
on me as well.
951
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,402
And...
952
00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:29,571
[cheers and applause]
953
00:57:31,906 --> 00:57:34,701
And he used to regale me
with stories of Richard.
954
00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:38,705
And the way he talked about Richard
was like he was in the next room.
955
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:41,541
You know what I mean?
It was something very familiar
956
00:57:41,624 --> 00:57:46,463
and comforting hearing a guy
talk about his friend that way.
957
00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:49,507
I was very lucky
to get to know him too.
958
00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:52,760
I don't want to blather
about my own personal stories, but...
959
00:57:52,844 --> 00:57:55,096
I just want to say that
without Richard Pryor
960
00:57:55,180 --> 00:57:58,099
there would be no,
there would be no Dave Chappelle.
961
00:57:58,183 --> 00:58:02,187
And all you comedians out there
who complain that you can't say anything
962
00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:06,357
nowadays, I would suggest that perhaps,
you have nothing to say.
963
00:58:06,441 --> 00:58:09,527
Because there's a very profound example
of a person
964
00:58:09,611 --> 00:58:12,155
who said anything and everything
he wanted to say
965
00:58:12,238 --> 00:58:13,656
outside of context.
966
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,367
There was only three channels
when that nigga was working.
967
00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:26,044
There's nothing to be afraid of.
968
00:58:26,127 --> 00:58:28,421
If you saw a person be this courageous
969
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:31,758
at such a high price.
So please, ladies and gentlemen,
970
00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:34,844
make some noise for Richard Pryor.
971
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,305
[cheers and applause]
972
00:58:40,642 --> 00:58:43,561
Now you know, I have read that
you were born in a brothel.
973
00:58:43,645 --> 00:58:46,147
And I figured this is Pryor
putting on an interviewer.
974
00:58:46,231 --> 00:58:48,733
No, I was born in my mother's womb.
975
00:58:48,816 --> 00:58:49,776
[Dick] Well, yes.
976
00:58:49,859 --> 00:58:52,862
And we lived in--
I guess you'd call it a brothel.
977
00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:55,490
-We called it a whorehouse.
-[Dick] Yeah.
978
00:58:56,449 --> 00:58:57,659
Whorehouse or...
979
00:59:00,036 --> 00:59:01,871
-Or--
-But it was home to me!
980
00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:03,414
It was... [laughs]
981
00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:08,795
I remember tricks used to come
through our neighborhood.
982
00:59:08,878 --> 00:59:10,713
That's where I first met white people.
983
00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:13,675
They come down through our neighborhood
to help the economy.
984
00:59:14,592 --> 00:59:17,512
Nice white dudes, though.
Because I could have been a bigot.
985
00:59:17,595 --> 00:59:18,846
You know what I mean?
986
00:59:19,472 --> 00:59:21,182
I could have been prejudiced.
987
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,355
I could have been prejudiced.
988
00:59:27,939 --> 00:59:30,483
I could have been, man,
but I met nice white men.
989
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:33,861
Come up, "Hello, little boy.
Is your mother home? I'd like a blowjob."
990
00:59:33,945 --> 00:59:36,656
My mother, I met my mother.
She's sitting out there.
991
00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:38,449
I love her. That's my mother.
992
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:39,367
[applause]
993
00:59:39,450 --> 00:59:41,786
-[interviewer] Is she here?
-Come on, Ma! Don't hide your face!
994
00:59:42,537 --> 00:59:43,621
Get up there!
995
00:59:43,705 --> 00:59:44,998
[interviewer] I didn't know that.
996
00:59:45,081 --> 00:59:46,541
[Pryor] Don't cry, Ma.
997
00:59:47,625 --> 00:59:50,420
My grandmother's the lady
who used to discipline me, right?
998
00:59:50,503 --> 00:59:52,213
You know, beat my ass.
999
00:59:52,589 --> 00:59:55,258
Anyone here remember them switches?
1000
00:59:55,341 --> 00:59:58,845
You... right?
You used to have to go get off the tree
1001
00:59:58,928 --> 01:00:01,806
yourself, and take them leaves like that.
1002
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:05,935
I see them trees today,
I will kill one of them motherfuckers.
1003
01:00:06,936 --> 01:00:09,647
And you get them switches,
and they start cutting wind
1004
01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:12,775
on the way home.
You hear, phew, phew.
1005
01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:15,403
Make you start crying
before you get in the house.
1006
01:00:15,486 --> 01:00:17,363
Phew, phew. Mama!
1007
01:00:18,906 --> 01:00:24,829
Phew, phew! I'm sorry, Mama.
I'll never play...
1008
01:00:24,912 --> 01:00:27,040
Mama, please! Mama, please!
1009
01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:29,042
Please, Mama! Please, Mama!
1010
01:00:30,335 --> 01:00:32,712
Ow, please, Mama! Ow, please, Ma!
1011
01:00:33,254 --> 01:00:34,589
Are you big in Europe?
1012
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:37,258
What's the matter?
1013
01:00:38,509 --> 01:00:40,428
That's a legitimate question.
1014
01:00:41,846 --> 01:00:44,307
Gee, he really thinks I'm great.
1015
01:00:44,390 --> 01:00:46,017
-Just a moment.
-He thinks I'm funny.
1016
01:00:46,100 --> 01:00:47,977
-Just a moment.
-I got the laugh, not you.
1017
01:00:48,061 --> 01:00:50,688
-Just a moment.
-What do you mean, just a moment?
1018
01:00:50,772 --> 01:00:53,441
Sometimes, pain is funny later on.
1019
01:00:53,524 --> 01:00:55,943
You know what I mean?
Like when I was in jail.
1020
01:00:56,027 --> 01:00:58,529
I was in jail for income tax evasion.
1021
01:00:58,613 --> 01:01:00,907
-When?
-Last year.
1022
01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:04,911
-How much time did you get?
-I got enough.
1023
01:01:05,870 --> 01:01:08,498
I told the judge, I said,
"I forgot about my taxes."
1024
01:01:08,581 --> 01:01:10,750
He said,
"You'll remember next year, nigga."
1025
01:01:10,833 --> 01:01:14,337
And when you don't use sensitivity
when you're having sex, right?
1026
01:01:14,420 --> 01:01:16,964
Or share some of your soul,
nothing is going to happen.
1027
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:21,135
Because men really get afraid.
Men are really scared in bed with a woman.
1028
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:26,974
You got to have that macho shit working.
It's hard to say, "Did...
1029
01:01:28,393 --> 01:01:30,895
Did you, did you...
1030
01:01:32,188 --> 01:01:34,148
Did you uh...
1031
01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:37,026
Did you cum?
1032
01:01:39,195 --> 01:01:40,947
Did you?"
1033
01:01:42,740 --> 01:01:45,576
Because men get defensive if a woman says
she didn't cum.
1034
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:47,328
Men get real defensive, right?
1035
01:01:47,412 --> 01:01:49,497
They won't take no fault for shit, right?
1036
01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:52,959
Men might say anything when they get
scared, right? Men go,
1037
01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:55,753
"Look, baby, maybe your pussy dead."
1038
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:05,763
And women always have a great comeback,
right? Women say,
1039
01:02:05,847 --> 01:02:08,641
"Well, why don't you give it
mouth to mouth resuscitation?"
1040
01:02:09,183 --> 01:02:11,519
[cheers and applause]
1041
01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,189
-I have sinned.
-[Carson] Oh, no.
1042
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:20,194
-In the past. And many, many--
-Heal!
1043
01:02:20,778 --> 01:02:23,948
You're the only white man alive
that's ever touched my head
1044
01:02:24,031 --> 01:02:25,533
without being killed.
1045
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:34,000
[Pryor] Ali, man. I got in the ring
one time. Ali, man, is awesome.
1046
01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:36,878
The nigga, I was in a benefit with him
just for fun, boxing.
1047
01:02:36,961 --> 01:02:40,131
And just to get in the ring
with a nigga, your heart go... [shudders]
1048
01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:45,428
No, because something make you say,
I'm in this motherfucking ring and shit.
1049
01:02:45,511 --> 01:02:47,930
Does everybody know this is for fun?
1050
01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:51,225
The nigga be fucking with you, right?
As soon as you get in the ring,
1051
01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:53,728
Ali be talking about...
[mouthing words]
1052
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:59,066
I said, "Wait a minute.
Does this nigga know it's a benefit?
1053
01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:02,195
He ain't supposed to hit my ass up
in this motherfucker."
1054
01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:04,781
And the nigga's so fast,
1055
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:07,617
you don't see his punches
till they coming back.
1056
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:11,662
That's all you see, right?
And your mind be saying,
1057
01:03:11,746 --> 01:03:12,872
"Wait a minute, now.
1058
01:03:12,955 --> 01:03:16,042
There was some shit in my face
a minute ago. I know that."
1059
01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:20,505
Then the coach say,
"Stick and move! Stick and move!"
1060
01:03:20,588 --> 01:03:23,925
And you be scared when you have
your first boxing-- Right? You be doing...
1061
01:03:31,724 --> 01:03:33,726
-Have you seen The Exorcist?
-Ah!
1062
01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:41,609
And women won't go to the bathroom
outside, right?
1063
01:03:41,692 --> 01:03:43,069
Ladies, you won't, will you?
1064
01:03:43,152 --> 01:03:44,946
"You want to go to the bathroom
out here, baby?"
1065
01:03:45,029 --> 01:03:46,072
"Uh-uh."
1066
01:03:46,697 --> 01:03:49,116
"Nope. Too much. Look, no. Uh-uh.
1067
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,119
Too many things crawling around
could crawl up there. No.
1068
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:55,414
I'll wait till we get back to the car."
1069
01:03:56,290 --> 01:03:58,709
I say, "Bitch, you ain't gonna piss
in the car!
1070
01:04:03,714 --> 01:04:06,217
You better drop your drawers
and piss here."
1071
01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:12,473
"I gotta go real bad, too.
Okay, I'm going to pull my panties down
1072
01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:13,933
a little bit.
1073
01:04:14,141 --> 01:04:17,812
Okay? Now, don't you do nothing.
Don't you be funny.
1074
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,815
If you see something,
you let me know.
1075
01:04:22,358 --> 01:04:24,861
You're not going to do nothing funny,
are you?"
1076
01:04:24,944 --> 01:04:27,363
"No, baby. Go ahead.
I ain't gonna do nothing. Go ahead."
1077
01:04:27,446 --> 01:04:29,657
"Okay, I'll just pull it down
a little bit."
1078
01:04:39,834 --> 01:04:41,919
I like to wait till they get into it,
right?
1079
01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,796
You go, "Somebody's coming!"
1080
01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:49,135
I remember that's where I met
Louie Armstrong.
1081
01:04:49,218 --> 01:04:52,013
I walked in his dressing room.
I said, "How you doing, Louie?"
1082
01:04:52,096 --> 01:04:54,682
He said, "White folks still in the lead."
1083
01:04:57,268 --> 01:05:00,271
Don't go out with the Mafia.
You can't buy them dinner.
1084
01:05:00,354 --> 01:05:01,439
The motherfuckers like,
1085
01:05:01,522 --> 01:05:03,232
they always like to take entertainers
to dinner.
1086
01:05:03,316 --> 01:05:06,694
And they take you to dinner,
and they pick up the check all the time.
1087
01:05:06,777 --> 01:05:10,156
Right? And if you get mad,
you say, "Let me buy the check tonight.
1088
01:05:10,239 --> 01:05:12,325
Goddamn it, you guys buy me dinner
every night."
1089
01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:18,372
"Hey, kid. Let me tell you something.
We're crime.
1090
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:21,417
And crime don't pay."
1091
01:05:25,129 --> 01:05:27,423
Anyone here ever had a heart attack?
1092
01:05:27,506 --> 01:05:28,883
Them motherfuckers hurt!
1093
01:05:29,884 --> 01:05:32,720
I'm not bullshitting, man.
I was walking in the front yard.
1094
01:05:32,803 --> 01:05:36,349
I was just walking along,
and something said, "Don't breathe!"
1095
01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:39,393
I'm saying, hmm?
1096
01:05:39,477 --> 01:05:41,938
"You heard me, motherfucker.
I said don't breathe!"
1097
01:05:42,063 --> 01:05:44,231
"Okay, I won't breathe. I won't breathe.
I won't."
1098
01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:48,986
"Then shut the fuck up then."
"Okay. I'm sorry. Don't kill me."
1099
01:05:49,070 --> 01:05:52,031
"Get on one knee and prove it."
"I won't get up."
1100
01:05:52,114 --> 01:05:54,617
"Don't kill me, don't..."
"You thinking about dying now, ain't you?"
1101
01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:56,327
"Yeah, I'm thinking about dying."
1102
01:05:56,410 --> 01:05:59,163
"You didn't think about it
when you was eating all that pork."
1103
01:05:59,246 --> 01:06:00,206
"I wasn't."
1104
01:06:06,295 --> 01:06:08,589
I woke up in an ambulance, right?
1105
01:06:08,673 --> 01:06:11,717
And it wasn't nothing
but white people staring at me.
1106
01:06:12,885 --> 01:06:15,054
I said, "Ain't this a bitch.
1107
01:06:16,430 --> 01:06:19,934
I've done died and wound up
in the wrong motherfucking heaven."
1108
01:06:22,770 --> 01:06:25,648
Now listen to me. All the people
you ever heard of freebasing,
1109
01:06:25,731 --> 01:06:28,150
have you ever heard
of anybody blowing up?
1110
01:06:29,902 --> 01:06:30,903
Why me?
1111
01:06:32,613 --> 01:06:35,825
Ten million motherfuckers freebase,
I got to blow up.
1112
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:42,581
I want to say y'all gave me
a lot of love when I was...
1113
01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:45,668
not feeling well.
And y'all really, I appreciate it.
1114
01:06:45,751 --> 01:06:48,254
-Also, y'all did some... also...
-[applause]
1115
01:06:48,337 --> 01:06:49,422
Yeah, applaud yourself.
1116
01:06:49,505 --> 01:06:53,759
[applause]
1117
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:57,388
Also, y'all did some nasty ass jokes
on my ass too.
1118
01:06:58,097 --> 01:07:01,475
Oh, yeah. Y'all didn't think
I saw some of these motherfuckers.
1119
01:07:01,559 --> 01:07:03,561
Since you love me so much.
1120
01:07:03,644 --> 01:07:06,063
I remember this one.
Strike the match like this.
1121
01:07:06,147 --> 01:07:08,858
What's that? Richard Pryor running
down the street.
1122
01:07:09,525 --> 01:07:12,903
I was watching TV one night,
and they said I had died.
1123
01:07:13,738 --> 01:07:15,781
I was bandaged up and shit.
1124
01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:18,242
They said, "Richard Pryor died
five minutes ago."
1125
01:07:18,325 --> 01:07:20,619
[muffled mumbling]
1126
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:25,666
Now, what makes me angry
is the fact that
1127
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:29,670
across the board, in my mind,
there's nobody I've ever met
1128
01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:34,175
in the business of comedy
who was any more brilliant than me.
1129
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:38,054
And I will never get the recognition
for what I do.
1130
01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:41,432
[cheers and applause]
1131
01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:48,147
He called that one wrong, didn't he?
1132
01:07:49,732 --> 01:07:53,652
In 2016, I did my first Netflix special
in this very room.
1133
01:07:53,736 --> 01:07:54,570
It was March 12th,
1134
01:07:54,653 --> 01:07:57,740
the anniversary of when
Richard Pryor: Live on Sunset Strip
1135
01:07:58,616 --> 01:08:02,203
was released in theaters,
which he shot in this very room.
1136
01:08:02,286 --> 01:08:06,373
It was Easter weekend, when people
celebrate Jesus rising from the dead.
1137
01:08:06,457 --> 01:08:09,627
And when he shot that special,
he had burnt himself on fire.
1138
01:08:09,710 --> 01:08:12,004
It was his first time back
in front of the public
1139
01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:13,547
after that terrible incident.
1140
01:08:13,631 --> 01:08:16,050
And it was my first time back
in the public
1141
01:08:16,133 --> 01:08:19,136
after that nasty spill
I took on television.
1142
01:08:21,013 --> 01:08:23,015
It's an honor to be here tonight.
1143
01:08:23,974 --> 01:08:25,267
We love you, Richard.
1144
01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:27,478
We love you, Richard.
1145
01:08:27,561 --> 01:08:29,063
[cheers and applause]
1146
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:34,985
It's my pleasure to induct Richard Pryor
into The Hall.
1147
01:08:35,069 --> 01:08:36,112
[applause]
1148
01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:40,032
♪♪
1149
01:08:46,831 --> 01:08:48,666
Thank you guys very much
for being here.
1150
01:08:48,749 --> 01:08:50,376
God bless you and good night.
1151
01:08:51,085 --> 01:08:52,628
[cheers and applause]
1152
01:08:54,088 --> 01:08:56,006
♪♪
1153
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,051
♪ The Hall ♪
1154
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:00,928
♪ The the the the Hall ♪
1155
01:09:02,179 --> 01:09:04,807
♪ The Hall
Year year year year year ♪
1156
01:09:06,350 --> 01:09:08,227
♪ Year One ♪
1157
01:09:12,106 --> 01:09:15,526
♪ Mix Master Mike
Mix mix mix ♪
1158
01:09:15,609 --> 01:09:17,570
♪Mix master
Mix Master Mike ♪
1159
01:09:17,653 --> 01:09:19,196
♪ Mike Mike Mike ♪
1160
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:21,157
♪ The Hall Year One ♪
1161
01:09:24,243 --> 01:09:30,124
♪♪