1 00:00:00,879 --> 00:00:03,116 (gentle music) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:14,773 --> 00:00:17,011 ♪♪♪ 5 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:13,290 (cheers and applause) 6 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,260 Whoa! 7 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:20,237 Okay, yeah. Good. 8 00:01:20,270 --> 00:01:22,776 Okay, don't embarrass yourself, okay. 9 00:01:22,809 --> 00:01:25,314 Ohh, the expectations. 10 00:01:25,347 --> 00:01:26,617 Crushing, I would argue. 11 00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:27,752 Absolutely crushing, 12 00:01:27,786 --> 00:01:29,823 debilitating in every way. 13 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,426 I'm gonna move this, 'cause I'm so thin 14 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,265 I'll disappear behind it, so... 15 00:01:34,298 --> 00:01:35,535 And then you'll be like, "Is that-- Is that Kate 16 00:01:35,568 --> 00:01:37,304 "or is that Kate? Right? 17 00:01:37,338 --> 00:01:38,641 "I don't know who to watch. Is that the comedian, 18 00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:39,876 or is that the, uh, the mic stand?" 19 00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:43,149 So... So, the cameras. 20 00:01:43,183 --> 00:01:44,720 Big night for me. 21 00:01:44,753 --> 00:01:46,422 Yeah, really big. 22 00:01:46,456 --> 00:01:48,694 So there's a camera, there's a camera. Huh! 23 00:01:48,728 --> 00:01:51,199 You know, they're everywhere. They can see you. 24 00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:52,636 We can see them. 25 00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:56,209 It's an inherently false, um, moment, right? 26 00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:58,514 It's a little bit scary. They're-- they're filming. 27 00:01:58,547 --> 00:02:02,421 They're not actually filming. They are, but it's... 28 00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:05,662 Is it-- is the camera inherently misogynist? 29 00:02:05,695 --> 00:02:07,799 Yes, right, so... 30 00:02:07,832 --> 00:02:09,503 Am I-- Am I-- Do I feel attacked? 31 00:02:09,536 --> 00:02:12,642 Yeah. Right, it's very-- Even the language. 32 00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:16,550 You know, "We're shooting her. We shot her. 33 00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:19,188 "We got her. 34 00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:21,359 We have her." Right, it's a-- 35 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,597 You know, I feel-- 36 00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:26,904 Is it scary? Yeah, you know... 37 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:28,373 Is what I do brave? 38 00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:29,710 Yeah, you know... 39 00:02:29,743 --> 00:02:31,747 (chuckles) It absolutely is. 40 00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:33,718 But I was, of course, forced into comedy 41 00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,755 at a very young age 42 00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:37,257 just because of my bone structure. 43 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,295 But I did... 44 00:02:39,328 --> 00:02:41,533 I chose to stay in it for this, the directness. 45 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,203 Right? And I can reach out and I can actually-- 46 00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:44,472 I'm changing lives, and she's crying. 47 00:02:44,506 --> 00:02:45,842 She's crying. It's me, sweetie. 48 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,244 You can touch, yeah, yeah. Very sweet. 49 00:02:47,277 --> 00:02:48,346 No, that was very sweet. 50 00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:49,750 That was very sweet. 51 00:02:49,783 --> 00:02:51,285 She was looking up at me, and she was like, 52 00:02:51,319 --> 00:02:52,689 "Uh! I grew up with you in my home. 53 00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:54,291 "How can-- Am I in my living room? 54 00:02:54,325 --> 00:02:56,362 What's going on?" 55 00:02:56,396 --> 00:02:58,199 And her friend was like, "Go for it, babe." 56 00:02:58,233 --> 00:02:59,536 And she was like, "Okay, if you say so." 57 00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:01,372 It was very sweet. So, yeah. 58 00:03:01,406 --> 00:03:04,211 So it's... great moment to have up top. 59 00:03:04,245 --> 00:03:06,517 Unprecedented, I would argue, to have such 60 00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:08,386 a direct physical connection with the audience, 61 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:10,257 aside from the emotional one that I'm fostering already, 62 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,527 and we're what, minute-- Who cares? 63 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,862 I'm not counting. You are, yeah. 64 00:03:12,896 --> 00:03:15,434 But... (exhales) 65 00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:17,438 Out of breath from the physical comedy I did, 66 00:03:17,471 --> 00:03:19,408 so right now-- I do-- 67 00:03:19,442 --> 00:03:22,549 one thing about me that is essential is that I do comedy 68 00:03:22,582 --> 00:03:24,452 primarily to process the overwhelming privilege 69 00:03:24,485 --> 00:03:26,757 of my childhood, um... 70 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,928 adolescence and now adulthood, right? 71 00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:30,631 If you can imagine growing up 72 00:03:30,665 --> 00:03:33,269 almost collapsing under the weight of resources. 73 00:03:33,303 --> 00:03:35,240 Right? Almost so many, right, 74 00:03:35,273 --> 00:03:36,810 that your gait is affected, right? 75 00:03:36,844 --> 00:03:38,814 If you can imagine my parents, you know, so loving. 76 00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:40,383 "You're so special. We love you." Right? 77 00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,354 They're actually not divorced, right? 78 00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:44,559 All of that, and somehow, with all of that 79 00:03:44,593 --> 00:03:45,928 weighing you down, 80 00:03:45,962 --> 00:03:48,768 just finding the strength to get to Zara. 81 00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:51,640 Just somehow-- Whoa! 82 00:03:53,677 --> 00:03:58,554 And sometimes Zara's closed, I'll be honest. 83 00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:01,660 This is actually my first time not performing for kids. 84 00:04:01,693 --> 00:04:03,597 Um... 85 00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:06,402 I usually do my-- my sort of my-- 86 00:04:06,436 --> 00:04:07,705 my bracket is two to four. 87 00:04:07,739 --> 00:04:09,543 That's really where I thrive. 88 00:04:09,576 --> 00:04:11,914 And, you know, I do a lot of stuff kind of... 89 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,820 ♪ Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday ♪ 90 00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:17,424 ♪ Where are my boots? ♪ You know, and then I... 91 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,861 The boots are gone, and then we do 92 00:04:18,894 --> 00:04:20,363 a scavenger hunt for the boots, 93 00:04:20,397 --> 00:04:23,269 and it's really fun, but tonight, I... 94 00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:26,008 I was like, no, no, no. I want to do adults. 95 00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:27,679 You know, I want to do-- I want to go verbal. 96 00:04:27,712 --> 00:04:29,415 I want to do the adult stuff. 97 00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:30,885 It's really hard to have 98 00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:33,289 absolutely no comedic influences whatsoever. 99 00:04:33,323 --> 00:04:35,427 Um... 100 00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:39,368 Well, I would say my influences are pottery, 101 00:04:39,401 --> 00:04:41,707 um, just engagement 102 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,644 with the raw materiality of the earth, 103 00:04:43,677 --> 00:04:46,717 and... small batch granola. 104 00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:49,923 I think just batches of granola 105 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,493 that are made in such small quantities 106 00:04:51,527 --> 00:04:53,062 they actively resist capitalism. 107 00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,599 I think that's it. 108 00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:57,939 Uh, and Carlin, yeah. 109 00:04:57,972 --> 00:05:00,645 I know I ooze an East Coast intellectualism, 110 00:05:00,678 --> 00:05:03,383 but I'm actually from Los Angeles, right here. 111 00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:06,322 Um, is anyone else born and raised in L. A.? 112 00:05:06,355 --> 00:05:07,859 -(people hoot) -I'm the only one! 113 00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:11,633 So... it's weird to be the only one, 114 00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:14,004 but it's such an incredible... 115 00:05:14,038 --> 00:05:16,375 You know, and people say, oh, you know, 116 00:05:16,409 --> 00:05:19,481 "Hollywood. It's a paper town filled with paper people." 117 00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:22,054 You know, but it's so real, I actually think. 118 00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:24,358 People-- if you were from here, you'd know 119 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,497 that what we do with our families 120 00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:27,899 is we go out to the docks every morning, 121 00:05:27,932 --> 00:05:29,936 'cause it really is an import... 122 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:35,982 No, it's an import-export town. 123 00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:37,652 So you'll see families at dawn, 124 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,455 and we watch the barrels of the imports come in 125 00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:40,992 and the exports leave, right? 126 00:05:41,025 --> 00:05:43,062 And that kind of creates this beautiful choreography 127 00:05:43,096 --> 00:05:45,066 of commerce, and it's really exciting, 128 00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:49,008 and I cry every time that I see it. 129 00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:50,778 (exhales deeply) So it's emotional. 130 00:05:50,811 --> 00:05:52,949 But, yeah, I love it here. It's-- it's beautiful. 131 00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:55,453 I often walk around and, like, it's so lush 132 00:05:55,487 --> 00:05:56,823 I feel like I'm in Mexico, and then I'm like, 133 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,026 "You are. It's a false border." 134 00:05:58,059 --> 00:06:00,130 Right? So, yeah, yeah. 135 00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:03,737 Hope there are no cops here. 136 00:06:03,771 --> 00:06:06,142 I like that. This could be good. 137 00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:07,912 And then it-- But it would really be subversive 138 00:06:07,946 --> 00:06:09,583 if I took this all the way into the street, 139 00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:12,655 and then you were still here and never knew-- 140 00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,926 "She's in San Diego. 141 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,899 She just crossed the line into Pomona City." 142 00:06:17,932 --> 00:06:19,636 I don't know about various cities. 143 00:06:19,669 --> 00:06:22,775 -Um... -(laughter) 144 00:06:22,809 --> 00:06:24,980 Yeah, because, maps, no. 145 00:06:25,013 --> 00:06:27,017 I won't-- It always terrifies me 146 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,821 when you see people going to the map store. 147 00:06:28,854 --> 00:06:30,791 "Map for one!" You know, and they bring it-- 148 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,629 They-- "This is what we worship in this house." 149 00:06:32,662 --> 00:06:35,534 Right. 150 00:06:35,568 --> 00:06:36,937 It's like, who made your maps? Right? 151 00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:38,707 Who's benefiting off that system? 152 00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,112 Dead silence. No one cares, so... 153 00:06:41,145 --> 00:06:42,849 And that's what I'm doing here. 154 00:06:42,882 --> 00:06:44,418 I've actually been sent here by the government. 155 00:06:44,451 --> 00:06:46,188 (chuckles) To shine a flashlight 156 00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,825 in those dark corners of culture and go, 157 00:06:47,859 --> 00:06:49,596 "Who made your maps? You don't know, right? 158 00:06:49,629 --> 00:06:51,566 Well, now you're gonna know." But I-- 159 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,802 But then, of course, the deep terror: 160 00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:54,739 I don't know either. 161 00:06:54,773 --> 00:06:57,110 (chuckles) 162 00:06:57,144 --> 00:06:58,614 Yeah, I don't even know what day it is. 163 00:06:58,647 --> 00:06:59,950 I don't-- Ask me what day it is. 164 00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,218 -[man] What day it is? -Don't know! 165 00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:03,657 I'm an artist, okay. 166 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,595 I'm more pulled by the tides. 167 00:07:07,164 --> 00:07:09,034 It is sometimes, I'll admit it, hard 168 00:07:09,068 --> 00:07:10,805 being the only artist in the room. 169 00:07:10,838 --> 00:07:12,474 Um... 170 00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:13,978 Sorry, the only true artist in the room. 171 00:07:14,011 --> 00:07:16,048 I am controlling the laughter tonight also. 172 00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:18,219 Just, you know, know that, so, yeah, shh. 173 00:07:18,252 --> 00:07:20,558 (chuckles and hums) 174 00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:21,827 Ha ha ha. You know. 175 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:24,164 A little less here and then-- Okay. 176 00:07:25,968 --> 00:07:28,473 -(man chuckles) -You were late, whoever that was, you were late. 177 00:07:28,507 --> 00:07:30,845 -(laughter) -Okay. 178 00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:33,951 Mm. Two weeks till regionals. We're screwed! 179 00:07:33,984 --> 00:07:36,155 (laughter and applause) 180 00:07:36,188 --> 00:07:38,527 Yeah. Yeah. "We don't wanna practice." 181 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,564 Well, it's gonna be a lot of sad faces 182 00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:41,733 in the parking lot after the tournament. 183 00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:43,804 That's all I'm gonna say. 184 00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:46,042 Wow. 185 00:07:46,075 --> 00:07:50,150 Hmm. Thank you for... for this. 186 00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:53,824 For giving me a safe place to heal tonight, for... 187 00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,528 My work is, of course, endurance-based. 188 00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:57,532 It's kind of about you enduring me. 189 00:07:57,565 --> 00:08:00,738 So this very... Yeah, it just means a lot. 190 00:08:03,777 --> 00:08:04,746 (laughter) 191 00:08:04,779 --> 00:08:06,850 I am psychic, so, uh, 192 00:08:06,883 --> 00:08:09,522 is your name, like... Christine? 193 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,225 Okay, it's fine. Um... 194 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,564 (laughter) 195 00:08:13,597 --> 00:08:15,568 Hmm. It's fine. 196 00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:17,170 It's fine. Is there a Christine over here? 197 00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:20,276 Just 'cause sometimes the energy does a direct transfer. 198 00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:22,648 Is there a Christine in this area at all? 199 00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:25,253 Christine-less. Wow. 200 00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:28,259 Well, it's bad luck. 201 00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,030 Corporate's not gonna like that. 202 00:08:30,063 --> 00:08:32,267 No. 203 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:35,841 (sighs) Yeah, I think the mirror, 204 00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:37,945 you know, it's just so interesting to perform 205 00:08:37,979 --> 00:08:40,250 in front of a mirror when I am a mirror for you. 206 00:08:40,283 --> 00:08:42,320 Right? For your fears, desires, anxieties, right? 207 00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:44,124 So... 208 00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:46,028 And you're also my mirror as the audience. 209 00:08:46,062 --> 00:08:48,232 You know, I look at you and I'm like, "I am the messiah." 210 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,003 You know, it's very-- 211 00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:51,807 Or a messiah figure, I should say, 212 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,677 but it's-- so there's a lot going on here. 213 00:08:53,711 --> 00:08:55,548 There's actually-- there's actually three mirrors 214 00:08:55,581 --> 00:08:57,585 in the room. 215 00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:59,756 You'll get it in a week. Call me. Okay. 216 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,094 (laughter) 217 00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:05,300 No, but the mirror, of course, also is the origin of narrative, 218 00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:10,043 film, the building blocks of cinema. 219 00:09:10,076 --> 00:09:12,314 Entertainment. The origin of entertainment right here. 220 00:09:12,347 --> 00:09:14,786 The first entertainment, of course, the cavewoman, 221 00:09:14,819 --> 00:09:17,090 or caveperson, looking in the river. 222 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:20,296 "Who's that? Ahh!" Delight in one's image, eh? 223 00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:23,136 Spanking the river. 224 00:09:23,169 --> 00:09:25,240 Realizing, "Ohh!" And then-- and then the ripples. 225 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,810 Oh, frames, frames of film, right. 226 00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,614 So it goes on... 227 00:09:28,647 --> 00:09:31,252 Yeah, so it's-- it's the river, the reflection, 228 00:09:31,285 --> 00:09:34,692 and then "Cheers," that would be next in line. 229 00:09:36,228 --> 00:09:37,732 And then me, yeah. 230 00:09:37,765 --> 00:09:40,236 That's the evolution of entertainment. 231 00:09:41,272 --> 00:09:42,842 I feel like I'm neglecting this side. 232 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,244 We're-- I'm so frontal. I'm so Western. 233 00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:45,714 I'm so American. The front, the front, the front. 234 00:09:45,748 --> 00:09:47,618 I want to see it all! Right? 235 00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,054 Instead of kind of not America. 236 00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:51,058 Kind of other ways to live, right? 237 00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,829 Kind of like getting my hair cut at home. 238 00:09:52,862 --> 00:09:55,066 Right, things like that that I don't explore. 239 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:57,738 I'm like, "Oh, boy. A sale?" 240 00:09:57,772 --> 00:09:59,208 (laughter) 241 00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:02,214 (chuckles) You know? And it's like, why? 242 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,318 Why couldn't I go, "Make it at home." 243 00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:06,288 You know, except-- but that's a side neglect. 244 00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:09,094 So it's make it at home, yeah. 245 00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,367 Okay. I'll work on it. Jesus Christ. 246 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,774 I'm so sorry to try to find something in the moment. 247 00:10:15,808 --> 00:10:18,379 I'll get-- I'll get back to the-- the "A" material. 248 00:10:18,412 --> 00:10:21,352 Okay, ten years ago, there's nothing, so... 249 00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:23,991 (laughter) 250 00:10:25,193 --> 00:10:27,899 I sort of just for the mo-- I kind of wanna-- 251 00:10:27,932 --> 00:10:29,401 Could I have a spotlight? 252 00:10:29,434 --> 00:10:31,205 I just want to really feel what that might be like. 253 00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,708 In the-- for the complete drama. 254 00:10:32,742 --> 00:10:34,278 Oh, wow. 255 00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:35,748 Can you believe that? 256 00:10:35,781 --> 00:10:37,184 How's this? How's this? 257 00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:39,421 -Am I in it? -(cheers and applause) 258 00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:42,728 Oh. 259 00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,131 It's hard to receive. 260 00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:46,736 (laughter) 261 00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:48,072 I'll be hon-- Isn't that wild? 262 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,776 Right now, being in it, feeling it, 263 00:10:49,809 --> 00:10:51,780 it's so-- it brings up, "Oh, no." 264 00:10:51,813 --> 00:10:53,884 You know, it does. But I could. 265 00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,021 I could actually go to that place where I don't know. 266 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,059 I don't know anymore. I don't know. 267 00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,829 Actually, it feels really good. Just, "I don't know." 268 00:10:59,863 --> 00:11:01,065 You know, it feels good to go there, 269 00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:02,434 'cause so often you have to, 270 00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:05,006 "I have the paperwork right here, sir." 271 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,179 You know, but... but inside, 272 00:11:08,212 --> 00:11:09,983 I don't know. 273 00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:14,726 I think as women we fear our excellence so intrinsically. 274 00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:16,730 We're taught to fear it so early, 275 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,266 so the spotlight to really feel th-- 276 00:11:18,299 --> 00:11:20,771 I also just wonder, like, in this light, 277 00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:22,407 are my features too violently Hassidic, 278 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,211 or could I pass for Italian, right? 279 00:11:24,244 --> 00:11:28,052 I wonder. I don't know. 280 00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:30,791 I can't quite tell. Mmm. 281 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,029 The makeup. I do-- 282 00:11:33,062 --> 00:11:34,298 I believe that women have the right 283 00:11:34,331 --> 00:11:37,003 to steal cosmetics 100%, by the way. 284 00:11:37,037 --> 00:11:40,143 I do want to say. Are you kidding me? 285 00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:42,347 We are forced into a system 286 00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:44,886 where we have to constantly pay for certain creams, 287 00:11:44,919 --> 00:11:46,222 powders, lotions, right? 288 00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:48,359 We have to pay for our own subjectivity. 289 00:11:48,392 --> 00:11:52,167 And, no, you know, if you don't... 290 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,806 if you don't have that, then the state won't recognize you, 291 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,145 and you can't get a job. Right? So... 292 00:11:58,179 --> 00:12:01,252 No, I have to contour my nose away to get a bank loan. 293 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,122 I'm not-- I won't do it. 294 00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,525 No, well, this lipstick tonight that I'm wearing 295 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,730 actually is called Scarlet Empress, 296 00:12:06,763 --> 00:12:10,236 and, yeah, so the violence is truly never-ending, and... 297 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,440 (laughter) 298 00:12:12,474 --> 00:12:14,512 ...it cost $30. 299 00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:17,350 (mutters) If you pay for it, right? But... 300 00:12:17,384 --> 00:12:19,121 No, and by the way, I'm not advocating 301 00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:21,493 for stealing from small businesses, of course not. 302 00:12:21,526 --> 00:12:23,362 I'm talking about large corporations 303 00:12:23,396 --> 00:12:26,201 who factor theft into their annual budget, I think, heh. 304 00:12:26,235 --> 00:12:28,807 But... but have fun. 305 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,447 If you can safely do it, have fun. Okay. 306 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,251 Mmm. 307 00:12:34,284 --> 00:12:35,888 I was on my way to what I knew 308 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,027 would be a disappointing massage... 309 00:12:39,061 --> 00:12:40,965 (exhales deeply) 310 00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:43,202 ...and I realized I-- I do think 311 00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:44,906 I'll see a woman become president 312 00:12:44,939 --> 00:12:46,475 in my lifetime. I do, and-- 313 00:12:46,509 --> 00:12:48,045 No, I think it's cool you're not clapping, though. 314 00:12:48,079 --> 00:12:49,214 I think that's cool. Um... 315 00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:50,851 No, it's chic, you know. 316 00:12:50,884 --> 00:12:52,855 It's not condescending. You're not like... 317 00:12:52,888 --> 00:12:54,926 "Who run the world? Girls!" 318 00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:56,261 No, it's just very real. 319 00:12:56,295 --> 00:12:58,867 You're like, "No, we-- It's time, and... 320 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,203 we anticipate that." (chuckles) 321 00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:03,209 So... I do think I'll see it. 322 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,113 But-- but I will say, I think for America 323 00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:06,382 to elect a woman as a president, 324 00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:08,185 she's either gonna have to be 325 00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:11,960 so hypersexualized, like pornographically feminized 326 00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:14,097 to the point that she wins and immediately is like, 327 00:13:14,131 --> 00:13:17,337 "Oh, no! 328 00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:20,410 Oh, no!" 329 00:13:20,443 --> 00:13:22,882 Gets into the Oval Office, is like dropping stuff. 330 00:13:22,915 --> 00:13:26,255 Like, "I'm such a slut. I'm sorry. 331 00:13:26,288 --> 00:13:28,560 (childlike voice) I'm sorry." 332 00:13:28,593 --> 00:13:32,501 Or-- or she'll have to be so radically desexualized 333 00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:34,939 that she's truly just a fridge on one wheel 334 00:13:34,972 --> 00:13:37,077 with a single eye, like... 335 00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:40,049 (laughter) 336 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:42,454 That's it! 337 00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:46,963 I just-- I don't see America electing just a woman. 338 00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:48,600 Just a woman in pants who's like, 339 00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:50,838 "I believe people have the right to live with dignity." 340 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,242 No. 341 00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:54,979 I don't see it. So, yeah, to recap, 342 00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:57,518 it's either hypersexualization or desexualization 343 00:13:57,551 --> 00:14:00,256 to the point of being artillery, just so it's clear. 344 00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:02,495 Oh, and I want to be clear. Like, I want the fridge. 345 00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:06,536 Like, please, I'm dying for the fridge. 346 00:14:06,569 --> 00:14:08,907 (sighs heavily) 347 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,111 I go to museums. 348 00:14:11,145 --> 00:14:14,251 -Nothing? Okay, and... -(laughter) 349 00:14:14,284 --> 00:14:16,221 I'll just take an afternoon, like absolutely. 350 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,359 Oh, mys-- Yeah, no, I'll go and-- to get inspired 351 00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:21,933 and to meet men, and I'll... 352 00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:24,304 I always feel like I have this direct connection 353 00:14:24,337 --> 00:14:26,208 to kind of almost a past self. 354 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,345 Like, I'll look-- I always find myself wandering the halls 355 00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:30,116 of the-- the rococo paintings 356 00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:31,586 and the-- and the Renaissance, 357 00:14:31,619 --> 00:14:34,091 and there's always this incredible cornucap-- 358 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,496 (laughter) 359 00:14:36,529 --> 00:14:38,165 I'll walk you though what happened. 360 00:14:38,199 --> 00:14:40,203 I meant to say cornucopia. Co-co-co! 361 00:14:40,236 --> 00:14:43,275 And I said ca-ca-ca. "Cornuca-- Cornucapia? 362 00:14:43,309 --> 00:14:46,482 Never heard of it, Kate. The show's over, okay?" 363 00:14:46,516 --> 00:14:48,052 And that's-- that's a professional. 364 00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:49,387 'Cause someone else, "cornucapia," 365 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,425 they'd never notice, uhh! But me-- Cor-- 366 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,262 I-- one-- one little mistake like that, 367 00:14:53,295 --> 00:14:54,632 I'm not kidding, we'll go from the top. 368 00:14:54,665 --> 00:14:56,268 I'll start this puppy over. I will. 369 00:14:56,301 --> 00:14:57,638 (laughter) 370 00:14:57,671 --> 00:14:59,976 Okay, so the museum stuff, I'm gonna do it. 371 00:15:00,009 --> 00:15:03,550 You'll see, it's not worth it, but, um... 372 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:06,321 (chuckles) 373 00:15:06,355 --> 00:15:08,225 I'm doing it! 374 00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:10,631 Okay, so sometimes, you'll be at the museum 375 00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:12,668 and I'll see-- I will see these paintings 376 00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:15,440 of these sort of beautiful cornucopias, 377 00:15:15,473 --> 00:15:17,277 and, uh, there's a slaughtered rabbit, 378 00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:19,014 right, and the orange peel. 379 00:15:19,047 --> 00:15:20,584 You know what it's like. You're a cultured group. 380 00:15:20,617 --> 00:15:22,721 And there's-- there's always a wench 381 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,326 just hovering just over the cornucopia like... 382 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,996 (laughter) 383 00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,299 It's me, it's me. 384 00:15:28,332 --> 00:15:29,535 And also, I will say 385 00:15:29,569 --> 00:15:31,171 I can very easily become male, 386 00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:33,476 kind of look like the, um, the court jester, 387 00:15:33,510 --> 00:15:35,012 you know, with the pan flute, like... 388 00:15:35,046 --> 00:15:36,516 (laughter) 389 00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:39,121 You know, that's... 390 00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:42,495 I'm eternal... is, I guess, what I'm trying to say. 391 00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:44,499 I'm not really the-- the girl next-door. 392 00:15:44,532 --> 00:15:48,339 I'm the door! (chuckles) 393 00:15:48,372 --> 00:15:50,644 (sighs) 394 00:15:50,677 --> 00:15:53,382 I don't know if anything's ever happened to anyone here. 395 00:15:53,415 --> 00:15:56,556 -Um... -(laughter) 396 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,960 I don't want to assume, right, but I will say 397 00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:02,233 growing up in my family, we didn't have wheat. 398 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:06,308 Um... but we had each other. 399 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,412 Oh, we had the hope for wheat, 400 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,051 so, in a way, it's almost like we had... 401 00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,253 [audience] Wheat! 402 00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:14,725 Love this crowd! Thank you. 403 00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:17,230 To feel so bolstered, so supported in that moment 404 00:16:17,263 --> 00:16:19,000 was something I haven't felt in a really long time. 405 00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:21,271 Oh, ah! But... 406 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:23,209 I was in here before all of you came, 407 00:16:23,242 --> 00:16:26,148 just waxing the floors, 408 00:16:26,181 --> 00:16:28,052 getting everything just so. 409 00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,156 I did found this theater. 410 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,559 I founded the theater, 411 00:16:31,593 --> 00:16:34,499 and founded theater in general, or... 412 00:16:34,532 --> 00:16:36,301 at least am seen as responsible 413 00:16:36,335 --> 00:16:38,405 with bringing theater to the West, but... 414 00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:41,044 "Jokes Aside," which is the name of my book, but, oh... 415 00:16:41,078 --> 00:16:44,685 I... I was in here alone, 416 00:16:44,719 --> 00:16:47,457 and as women we're socialized against seeing solitude 417 00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:48,760 as a space of productivity-- 418 00:16:48,793 --> 00:16:50,597 write it down if you have to-- 419 00:16:50,631 --> 00:16:54,070 and so in doing that, I was like, "That's activism." 420 00:16:54,104 --> 00:16:55,607 Right, that's it's right there. 421 00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:57,110 Right, so why even go on stage and do the work? 422 00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:59,682 It's almost redundant. But... 423 00:16:59,715 --> 00:17:02,086 While I'm here, can someone just give me an emotion? 424 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,723 I want to continue to act. 425 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,426 -[voice] Anger. -Anger. 426 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,332 Anger I think for me is really just... 427 00:17:10,269 --> 00:17:11,806 (laughter and applause) 428 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:13,543 Can I have-- Can I have another? 429 00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:15,681 We're not done. Can I have another? 430 00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,183 -[man] Acting nervous. -[woman] Fear. 431 00:17:17,217 --> 00:17:19,522 Oh, whoa. Fear. 432 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,728 -(laughter) -Well... 433 00:17:22,761 --> 00:17:25,099 One more, 'cause you're begging for it. 434 00:17:25,132 --> 00:17:26,536 -One more. -[woman] Thrill. 435 00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,205 Thrill. No, I like that, thrill. 436 00:17:28,239 --> 00:17:31,345 Thrill is really just in the most simple form... 437 00:17:31,378 --> 00:17:32,848 (laughter) 438 00:17:32,881 --> 00:17:35,353 Right? Because we actually hide what we feel. 439 00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:37,691 We don't show what we're feeling, right? 440 00:17:37,725 --> 00:17:39,662 An amateur would get up here and say, 441 00:17:39,695 --> 00:17:42,501 "Oh, fear? Oh, no!" 442 00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:44,337 Right? But no. When you're actually afraid, 443 00:17:44,371 --> 00:17:45,807 you're like, "I'm not scared," you know. 444 00:17:45,841 --> 00:17:47,477 "Don't-- don't let him see." Right? 445 00:17:47,511 --> 00:17:50,449 So that's... that's what that is. 446 00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:52,253 Cool. Whew. A lot came up for that. 447 00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,157 That was actually good. I could actually feel myself 448 00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:55,494 locking in there. 449 00:17:55,527 --> 00:17:57,297 Somatically, I was like, "This is acting." 450 00:17:57,330 --> 00:18:00,169 So... that was absolutely helpful. 451 00:18:00,202 --> 00:18:02,574 While I'm in the spotlight, hit the track. 452 00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,377 Can you imagine? There's nothing, but... 453 00:18:04,411 --> 00:18:07,350 (laughter and applause) 454 00:18:07,383 --> 00:18:10,791 I wish. Give me a couple years. 455 00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:13,162 No more spotlight! Okay, I'm over it, actually. 456 00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:14,632 Can we get out? Thank you. 457 00:18:14,665 --> 00:18:18,405 I could call back, but-- Oh, they want more? 458 00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:20,309 Whatever they need. Whatever the camera needs, right? 459 00:18:20,343 --> 00:18:23,717 Oh. Cameras, cameras, everywhere. 460 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:27,758 Cameras, cameras, don't you dare. 461 00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,762 You see me, but I see you. 462 00:18:29,795 --> 00:18:32,635 You say yes, I and say... 463 00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,538 Ugh, couldn't rhyme. 464 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:35,774 (laughter) 465 00:18:35,807 --> 00:18:37,276 I'm just checking in. 466 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,582 I love you. Okay, great. 467 00:18:39,615 --> 00:18:41,519 It is helpful just to have that anchor. 468 00:18:41,552 --> 00:18:43,355 To have an anchor. 469 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,825 Here, I would almost just almost end the sentence there. 470 00:18:44,859 --> 00:18:46,863 To have an anchor. Wow. 471 00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:52,206 Only because I'm really feeling it, 472 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,647 did someone... yeah. 473 00:18:55,681 --> 00:18:57,851 Okay, did someone over here recently move? 474 00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,454 And I'm seeing Wisconsin. I'm real-- 475 00:18:59,487 --> 00:19:01,391 Wisconsin's being highlighted. 476 00:19:01,425 --> 00:19:03,162 Is anyone in this area from Wisconsin 477 00:19:03,195 --> 00:19:05,734 or have any relationship to it? 478 00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:08,640 -Wisconsin! -(laughter) 479 00:19:08,673 --> 00:19:10,711 Okay, um... 480 00:19:10,744 --> 00:19:12,447 (scattered laughter) 481 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,486 Michigan. 482 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,723 Did anyone here move recently? 483 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,194 By the way, I'm fine. 484 00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,664 (laughter) 485 00:19:20,697 --> 00:19:22,668 I need you, I need you, I need you. 486 00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:26,609 Relax. I need you supine. I need you trusting. Okay? 487 00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:29,682 I do this at the boardwalk every Sunday, okay? 488 00:19:29,715 --> 00:19:31,853 I'm fine. 489 00:19:31,886 --> 00:19:36,228 (laughter) 490 00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:38,933 Now back to Wisconsin. 491 00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:41,405 No, that's fine. It's-- It might be somewhere else. 492 00:19:41,438 --> 00:19:42,775 -It's called an energy flare. -(man whistles) 493 00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,377 Oh, Wisconsin? 494 00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:45,479 Oh, thank you, great. Thank you so much. 495 00:19:45,514 --> 00:19:47,250 See? So, I'm right. Yeah. 496 00:19:47,283 --> 00:19:48,887 (laughter) 497 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,456 You recently moved? 498 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,630 Yeah, silent. I like that, okay. 499 00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:55,166 (chuckles) 500 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,811 I'm seeing an injury. 501 00:20:00,844 --> 00:20:03,348 Not like I-- It's-- It's healed. 502 00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:04,819 But did someone here have like a left-- 503 00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:06,522 Is it their left angle-- ankle. 504 00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:08,693 Left angle? Cool, we're going from the top! 505 00:20:08,727 --> 00:20:10,764 I'm not kidding! 506 00:20:10,797 --> 00:20:13,202 I said angle instead of ankle. 507 00:20:14,972 --> 00:20:18,312 Unprofession-- Oh, my God! That's radical. 508 00:20:18,345 --> 00:20:19,982 See, this actually looks like a plant. 509 00:20:20,015 --> 00:20:22,554 This is actually-- No, this is unfortunate, 510 00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,857 'cause this looks fake. 511 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,459 (laughter) 512 00:20:25,494 --> 00:20:27,330 I'll only ask this. Is it your left side? 513 00:20:27,363 --> 00:20:30,504 [woman #1] Yeah. -(cheers and laughter) 514 00:20:36,415 --> 00:20:39,889 I can do more of like a-- of a clear landing just for-- 515 00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:42,661 -Yeah, good. -(applause) 516 00:20:42,694 --> 00:20:43,897 (audience member hoots) 517 00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:46,334 (exhales) God, it feels good. 518 00:20:46,368 --> 00:20:49,374 (laughter) 519 00:20:49,407 --> 00:20:51,378 First of all, I'm sorry. 520 00:20:51,411 --> 00:20:54,317 (laughs) 521 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:55,687 Hey, hey, hey. Your h-- 522 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,562 It goes your health, my show. 523 00:20:59,595 --> 00:21:00,730 Yeah. 524 00:21:02,534 --> 00:21:04,738 Is it-- is it a-- is it a break? 525 00:21:04,772 --> 00:21:05,907 -It's a sprain. -A sprain. 526 00:21:05,941 --> 00:21:07,578 And it is my ankle. 527 00:21:07,611 --> 00:21:10,316 Yeah, so ooh! 528 00:21:10,349 --> 00:21:14,492 Oh, you didn't think I was really psychic, huh? 529 00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,829 Left ankle sprain. (chuckles) 530 00:21:19,434 --> 00:21:22,340 Was it-- I'm getting the sense that it was not sports-related. 531 00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:23,977 Um, it-- it was, but-- 532 00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:26,549 Well, I mean, it always is, like in the sense 533 00:21:26,582 --> 00:21:29,955 that you are in sport, that your body is in motion, but, yeah. 534 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,528 -I'm not a sporty person, so... -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 535 00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:34,532 Were you-- what were you playing? 536 00:21:34,565 --> 00:21:36,636 I was in a spin class. 537 00:21:37,638 --> 00:21:40,075 Let this be a lesson. 538 00:21:40,109 --> 00:21:42,581 They will take your money... 539 00:21:42,614 --> 00:21:45,520 they will ruin your family and your reputation, 540 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,958 and they'll send you on your way. 541 00:21:50,964 --> 00:21:52,400 Were you downtown? 542 00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:53,870 I was in Eagle Rock. 543 00:21:53,903 --> 00:21:55,406 So, yeah. 544 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:58,646 (laughter) 545 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,652 I've always said, like, downtown is up here. 546 00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:03,422 (chuckles) You know? 547 00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:06,529 Like, you'll notice right now I'm downtown. 548 00:22:06,562 --> 00:22:08,900 I'm downtown. 549 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:11,371 And for me, even when I'm uptown... 550 00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:12,574 Oh, no, no! 551 00:22:14,477 --> 00:22:17,518 Oh-- Whoa, I almost tripped, and no one came to help, whoa! 552 00:22:17,551 --> 00:22:19,053 That actually was scary. There was a quick moment, 553 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,391 and then-- and not-- to not even feel a hand come up. 554 00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:22,928 "Let me help you. You're just here to-- 555 00:22:22,961 --> 00:22:24,464 "You're just trying to make me laugh. 556 00:22:24,498 --> 00:22:25,767 Let me help you if you fall." Right? 557 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,071 But instead, "Work, work, work!" 558 00:22:28,105 --> 00:22:29,842 I guess I am alone up here. It's good-- No. 559 00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:33,081 Thank you for reminding me. Very good, very good. 560 00:22:33,115 --> 00:22:37,156 The wire, of course, kind of representing media, I think. 561 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,993 The way it's snaking around me. 562 00:22:39,027 --> 00:22:41,131 The way media literally cannibalizes the female form. 563 00:22:41,164 --> 00:22:43,135 Right, you'll notice how it's snaking around. 564 00:22:43,168 --> 00:22:45,540 "Sure, tell your story... (deep voice) but on my terms." 565 00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:49,047 -You know, it's very... -(laughter) 566 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,786 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 40 minutes right here. 567 00:22:51,819 --> 00:22:53,088 Can you believe this doesn't affect the sound? 568 00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:54,658 Can you believe that? This really is-- 569 00:22:54,692 --> 00:22:56,127 This is engineering. 570 00:22:56,161 --> 00:22:58,432 This is-- this is why we go to war 571 00:22:58,465 --> 00:23:00,035 is to protect this. I want to fight for this. 572 00:23:00,069 --> 00:23:03,610 I want to fight for my country with this, okay. 573 00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:07,517 Back to the ankle injury. 574 00:23:07,551 --> 00:23:09,053 -Is your name Rachel? -No. 575 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:13,630 Can you imagine that? I would've been, "Whoo!" 576 00:23:13,663 --> 00:23:17,771 Do you have... a dog. 577 00:23:17,804 --> 00:23:19,642 No, I want a dog, though. 578 00:23:19,675 --> 00:23:21,444 That's what I'm picking up on, the urge. 579 00:23:21,478 --> 00:23:23,482 (laughter) 580 00:23:23,516 --> 00:23:25,854 Last thing I'll say or not, it's my show. 581 00:23:25,887 --> 00:23:27,390 Um... 582 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,199 Do you have-- I'm seeing sisters. Do you have sisters? 583 00:23:32,233 --> 00:23:33,903 I have a younger sister. 584 00:23:33,937 --> 00:23:35,740 Yeah, so you're the second sister. 585 00:23:35,774 --> 00:23:37,711 So I'm seeing sisters, and it's you. 586 00:23:37,744 --> 00:23:40,015 You have-- It's you and your younger sister. 587 00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:45,694 I'm actually an only child. 588 00:23:45,727 --> 00:23:47,731 (laughter) 589 00:23:47,764 --> 00:23:50,737 Go ahead, laugh. You've got one. 590 00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:53,843 Never seen one up close, huh? Go ahead. 591 00:23:53,876 --> 00:23:55,647 For those of you who don't know, an only child 592 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,450 is somebody with no brothers, 593 00:23:57,483 --> 00:23:59,588 and you guessed it, no sisters. 594 00:23:59,622 --> 00:24:02,861 (laughter) 595 00:24:02,894 --> 00:24:04,932 (sighs deeply) 596 00:24:04,965 --> 00:24:06,769 It used to make me sad as a child, 597 00:24:06,802 --> 00:24:08,640 but now I realize it's actually a gift, 598 00:24:08,673 --> 00:24:10,644 because I don't have to live under the crushing weight 599 00:24:10,677 --> 00:24:12,981 of the sexual tension that I know exists 600 00:24:13,015 --> 00:24:15,654 among all siblings, yeah. 601 00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:17,256 That's what I like when see people full, 602 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,860 "Oh, God, the truth!" They're crossing in. 603 00:24:18,893 --> 00:24:20,864 That's what I like to see. 604 00:24:20,897 --> 00:24:23,503 And by the way, that's okay. You're normal, okay? 605 00:24:23,536 --> 00:24:26,074 Any institution that's like, "Sex doesn't exist here," 606 00:24:26,107 --> 00:24:28,011 it's 'cause it does. 607 00:24:28,045 --> 00:24:29,715 And I'll just say, like if I had a brother, 608 00:24:29,748 --> 00:24:31,184 forget about it, okay? 609 00:24:31,217 --> 00:24:34,925 -(laughter and applause) -Forget... about... it. 610 00:24:34,958 --> 00:24:38,533 (chuckles) Cannot imagine. 611 00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:41,271 Sneaking a glimpse of him in his boxers at dawn, like... 612 00:24:41,304 --> 00:24:42,874 (laughter) 613 00:24:42,908 --> 00:24:46,782 Before school. Heh! 614 00:24:46,816 --> 00:24:49,521 Long family car trips, no one else to talk to. 615 00:24:49,555 --> 00:24:51,792 Fall in love like that, okay? 616 00:24:51,826 --> 00:24:53,663 It's easy. It's easy. 617 00:24:53,696 --> 00:24:56,769 Getting picked up, being like, "Oh, Josh, put me down! 618 00:24:56,802 --> 00:24:59,073 "Stop! 619 00:24:59,107 --> 00:25:01,512 "Ugh! You ripped my shirt. Yeah, I need yours. 620 00:25:01,545 --> 00:25:03,115 What else am I gonna wear to Easter brunch?" 621 00:25:05,085 --> 00:25:06,922 "Mom and Dad aren't gonna be home for like an hour. 622 00:25:06,956 --> 00:25:09,862 "Just give me your shirt. 623 00:25:09,895 --> 00:25:11,131 Ugh!" 624 00:25:12,934 --> 00:25:15,774 I'm jealous. 625 00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:18,211 (chuckles) 626 00:25:18,245 --> 00:25:19,915 My, bring up some stuff-- and by the way, 627 00:25:19,948 --> 00:25:21,284 if you're uncomfortable, if you feel that, 628 00:25:21,317 --> 00:25:23,856 know that that's for a reason, right? 629 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,127 That's why-- that's why they won't air this show live. 630 00:25:26,161 --> 00:25:29,635 They won't stream this on the radio right now. 631 00:25:29,668 --> 00:25:31,071 And why do you think? 'Cause people will be driving. 632 00:25:31,104 --> 00:25:32,741 "Oh, here's my light." They hear my voice. 633 00:25:32,774 --> 00:25:34,277 "I have a choice in life?" Veer off the road. 634 00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:38,786 (laughter) 635 00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:40,557 A lot's at risk. Heh! 636 00:25:40,590 --> 00:25:43,930 There are cameras, but also... there are cameras. 637 00:25:43,963 --> 00:25:46,669 (laughter) 638 00:25:47,871 --> 00:25:49,608 They're watching. 639 00:25:55,018 --> 00:25:57,323 I am always pretty sure I'm being surveilled in bathrooms, 640 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,995 so I will just be like, "I know!" 641 00:26:00,028 --> 00:26:02,834 (laughter) 642 00:26:02,868 --> 00:26:04,772 It helps, 'cause I want the person surveilling me 643 00:26:04,805 --> 00:26:06,609 to be like, "She sees!" 644 00:26:06,642 --> 00:26:09,180 You know, I want-- I want to feel that. 645 00:26:09,213 --> 00:26:10,950 I want to feel it. 646 00:26:10,984 --> 00:26:12,821 I want to feel that. If that-- it that's a crime, 647 00:26:12,854 --> 00:26:14,958 then take me back to the bishop's ranch. 648 00:26:14,992 --> 00:26:16,261 (laughter) 649 00:26:16,294 --> 00:26:18,031 (chuckles) 650 00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:22,306 Ohh! I want to go back to the bishop's ranch. 651 00:26:25,179 --> 00:26:27,283 Huge theme emerging about the bishop's ranch. 652 00:26:27,316 --> 00:26:29,020 Um... 653 00:26:29,053 --> 00:26:32,026 Incredible to feel that, and then touch it 654 00:26:32,059 --> 00:26:34,230 with that authentically and to know that's where I belong. 655 00:26:34,263 --> 00:26:36,134 It's something that I couldn't have planned, 656 00:26:36,167 --> 00:26:38,706 and that's why I'm so excited to actually present to you, 657 00:26:38,739 --> 00:26:40,944 we have the bishop. Come on out! 658 00:26:40,977 --> 00:26:43,749 (laughter) 659 00:26:43,783 --> 00:26:45,052 Yeah. 660 00:26:45,085 --> 00:26:47,056 In editing, that'll be... (whispers) huge. 661 00:26:47,089 --> 00:26:49,862 (chuckles) 'Cause we're gonna CGI the bishop, 662 00:26:49,895 --> 00:26:51,632 and "Oh, my God!" The people at home? "Oh-ho-ho!" 663 00:26:51,665 --> 00:26:55,172 Yeah. Sorry. I want money, okay? 664 00:26:55,205 --> 00:26:57,944 And people love the bishop. Okay, okay! 665 00:26:57,978 --> 00:27:00,282 Wrap it up. (pops tongue) Okay. 666 00:27:00,315 --> 00:27:01,685 Ohh! 667 00:27:04,858 --> 00:27:06,094 (Kate sighs) 668 00:27:06,127 --> 00:27:09,400 I'll say therapy, get in it now, you know? 669 00:27:09,433 --> 00:27:11,237 Is my therapist here? Christina? 670 00:27:11,271 --> 00:27:13,275 (laughter) 671 00:27:13,308 --> 00:27:15,980 'Cause you never know. Okay, wow. 672 00:27:16,014 --> 00:27:17,951 So you're not curious what I do. 673 00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:20,088 Yeah, I was just like, okay, okay. 674 00:27:22,259 --> 00:27:24,765 When people say they're not in therapy, I'm like... 675 00:27:24,798 --> 00:27:26,367 you can't do karaoke forever. 676 00:27:26,401 --> 00:27:29,106 You know, you have to-- 677 00:27:29,140 --> 00:27:31,411 Oh, no. 678 00:27:31,444 --> 00:27:34,718 Your friends and family see what karaoke has become for you. 679 00:27:34,751 --> 00:27:35,987 So... 680 00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:37,189 (laughter) 681 00:27:37,223 --> 00:27:39,360 Uh, sex. 682 00:27:39,393 --> 00:27:42,099 Um... 683 00:27:42,132 --> 00:27:46,241 I don't know. I'm not convinced. 684 00:27:46,274 --> 00:27:48,378 I'd say. Like, does it even 685 00:27:48,411 --> 00:27:50,282 have the power to transform the day? 686 00:27:50,315 --> 00:27:52,286 I don't know. I just-- 687 00:27:52,319 --> 00:27:54,023 Not to brag, but I probably had 688 00:27:54,056 --> 00:27:55,259 the best sex of my life recently, 689 00:27:55,292 --> 00:27:56,862 and like an hour and a half later 690 00:27:56,896 --> 00:27:58,766 I was furious at Bank of America. 691 00:27:58,799 --> 00:28:00,335 Like I don't... 692 00:28:00,369 --> 00:28:03,743 Even the day, you know, couldn't be changed, so... 693 00:28:03,776 --> 00:28:06,916 And I also, I do not appreciate the myth 694 00:28:06,949 --> 00:28:08,886 brutally propagated by media 695 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,455 that sex is the one time in your life 696 00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:11,792 where you're able to finally shed 697 00:28:11,825 --> 00:28:12,928 the prison of your personality. 698 00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:14,130 That that's when your mask 699 00:28:14,163 --> 00:28:16,000 finally drops. 700 00:28:16,034 --> 00:28:18,773 I find that during sex my mask has never been tighter. 701 00:28:18,806 --> 00:28:21,812 Like it's absolutely... 702 00:28:21,845 --> 00:28:24,150 And trust me, I've tried to like-- (grunts) 703 00:28:24,183 --> 00:28:25,219 You know? 704 00:28:25,252 --> 00:28:27,056 (laughter) 705 00:28:27,089 --> 00:28:29,193 You know, I've tried, but it's never so much as slipped. 706 00:28:29,227 --> 00:28:32,366 I mean, it's really... Ugh. 707 00:28:32,399 --> 00:28:35,339 I actually think that the only time 708 00:28:35,372 --> 00:28:37,510 that we're truly released from the prison of our personality, 709 00:28:37,544 --> 00:28:39,848 the only time that our mask actually drops, 710 00:28:39,881 --> 00:28:43,789 is when we barf. I really think that's it. 711 00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:45,894 'Cause just the rawness, the animalism, 712 00:28:45,927 --> 00:28:47,964 that's the only time in your life 713 00:28:47,998 --> 00:28:50,937 when your-- your taste in art, your funny outgoing voicemail, 714 00:28:50,970 --> 00:28:52,807 right, your grant money, is irrelevant. 715 00:28:52,841 --> 00:28:55,479 It's not there. It's just about that. 716 00:28:55,513 --> 00:28:57,517 (laughter) 717 00:28:57,550 --> 00:28:59,453 It's also the only time in modern life 718 00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:01,090 when you aren't being advertised to. 719 00:29:01,124 --> 00:29:03,094 That's it. 720 00:29:03,128 --> 00:29:04,531 And trust me, they'll find a way. 721 00:29:04,564 --> 00:29:07,202 Oh, they'll get in there. 722 00:29:07,236 --> 00:29:09,942 They'll get in your toilet if they have to. 723 00:29:09,975 --> 00:29:12,112 (laughter) 724 00:29:14,317 --> 00:29:17,222 Hmm. Oh, I love your laughs. Ohh, I love this moment! 725 00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:19,460 Ohh! 726 00:29:19,494 --> 00:29:20,997 Really, though, when I hear-- I hear kids. 727 00:29:21,030 --> 00:29:22,801 I hear little kids going, "Where's my dad?" 728 00:29:22,834 --> 00:29:24,070 Right, I mean... 729 00:29:25,238 --> 00:29:26,842 Really, though. Sometimes I'm up here and I'm like, 730 00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,447 "Where are our dads?" Like, this is crazy. 731 00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:34,524 Did you know that you're born with your eggs? 732 00:29:34,558 --> 00:29:35,960 I'll go back. 733 00:29:35,994 --> 00:29:37,329 If you're... 734 00:29:40,002 --> 00:29:43,241 If you're someone who has eggs, you're born with them. 735 00:29:43,274 --> 00:29:45,012 It's not like they developed during puberty. 736 00:29:45,045 --> 00:29:46,982 Can anyone confirm? This really blew my mind. 737 00:29:47,016 --> 00:29:48,519 Yeah. So what does this mean? 738 00:29:48,552 --> 00:29:50,857 This means that your mother, the day she was born, 739 00:29:50,890 --> 00:29:52,459 you were already inside her. 740 00:29:52,494 --> 00:29:54,096 The potential for you was already there. 741 00:29:54,130 --> 00:29:55,500 Can you go that far? Yeah. 742 00:29:55,533 --> 00:29:57,036 Crying, crying, crying, crying, crying. 743 00:29:57,069 --> 00:29:59,373 Okay. 744 00:29:59,407 --> 00:30:01,512 So, what I'm trying to say is, 745 00:30:01,545 --> 00:30:03,883 we've all been marinating in our mother's rage 746 00:30:03,916 --> 00:30:06,387 since the day she was born, 747 00:30:06,421 --> 00:30:08,325 and then her mother's rage, and her mother, her mother, 748 00:30:08,358 --> 00:30:09,594 on and on, okay? 749 00:30:09,628 --> 00:30:11,464 We're all stewing in the rage 750 00:30:11,498 --> 00:30:13,134 of all the women who've come before us. 751 00:30:13,168 --> 00:30:16,608 It's an intergenerational tajine of rage. 752 00:30:16,642 --> 00:30:18,445 And it's deserved, I want to say that, 753 00:30:18,478 --> 00:30:20,015 but it's been very helpful for me 754 00:30:20,048 --> 00:30:21,585 because I'll be going about my day, 755 00:30:21,618 --> 00:30:23,288 everything's fine, and then out of nowhere 756 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:26,060 I'm like, "I'm gonna break glass," you know? 757 00:30:26,094 --> 00:30:28,131 And I-- I'm like, where does that anger come from? 758 00:30:28,164 --> 00:30:29,433 It doesn't feel like it belongs to me, 759 00:30:29,467 --> 00:30:30,536 and it's been very helpful to be like, 760 00:30:30,570 --> 00:30:31,905 it's actually maybe not mine. 761 00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:33,174 It's my grandmother in Spain, 762 00:30:33,208 --> 00:30:34,276 like, "Aah!" 763 00:30:34,310 --> 00:30:35,880 You know, that's... 764 00:30:37,584 --> 00:30:39,020 That's who it belongs to. 765 00:30:39,053 --> 00:30:40,322 So release. Release thyself. 766 00:30:40,355 --> 00:30:42,292 And, you know, honor it, but push through. 767 00:30:42,326 --> 00:30:44,498 I actually don't have kids yet, 768 00:30:44,531 --> 00:30:46,034 but my daughter right now is like, 769 00:30:46,067 --> 00:30:49,340 "Mom, what are you doing up there? 770 00:30:49,373 --> 00:30:50,576 I can feel it." 771 00:30:50,610 --> 00:30:52,312 "Love you, sweetie. 772 00:30:52,346 --> 00:30:55,452 Maybe we'll watch this together one day with Dad." 773 00:30:55,485 --> 00:30:58,959 (laughter) 774 00:30:58,993 --> 00:31:00,295 You probably have read in the news 775 00:31:00,328 --> 00:31:02,066 that I've been tucking in my blouses more. 776 00:31:02,099 --> 00:31:03,636 (laughter) 777 00:31:03,669 --> 00:31:05,606 Sss... 778 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,577 And it does feel good. It makes me feel very together. 779 00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:09,447 Like I tuck in, and immediately I really do feel 780 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,618 like I have children, like I just completely-- 781 00:31:11,652 --> 00:31:14,256 I feel effective. I'm like, yes, absolutely, right here. 782 00:31:14,290 --> 00:31:16,394 I have everything I need. 783 00:31:16,427 --> 00:31:18,666 Immediately leaving the house with the blouse tucked in, 784 00:31:18,699 --> 00:31:20,402 I'm like there's all these kids that are like, 785 00:31:20,435 --> 00:31:22,607 "Okay, come on. We gotta go. 786 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,477 "We gotta go. We're gonna get in the car. 787 00:31:24,511 --> 00:31:26,347 "Can you tell me in the car? Can you tell me in the car? 788 00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:28,418 "Okay, great. 789 00:31:28,451 --> 00:31:31,357 Yeah?" It's my husband. 790 00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:34,965 "Uh... okay. I could've used that information earlier, 791 00:31:34,998 --> 00:31:36,334 I'll be honest, yeah." 792 00:31:36,367 --> 00:31:39,140 (laughter) 793 00:31:39,173 --> 00:31:41,678 "How can I do that now? Uh, I'm just really asking. 794 00:31:41,712 --> 00:31:42,947 How can I do that now?" 795 00:31:42,981 --> 00:31:45,285 (laughter) 796 00:31:45,318 --> 00:31:48,258 "No, no, I asked you, and-- and I remember 797 00:31:48,291 --> 00:31:51,164 "'cause I asked you yesterday. 798 00:31:51,197 --> 00:31:52,634 "No, I know that you said no, but now you're saying yes. 799 00:31:52,667 --> 00:31:54,136 "Okay, yeah, okay. 800 00:31:54,170 --> 00:31:56,374 "Okay, say bye to Daddy. Say bye to Daddy. 801 00:31:56,407 --> 00:31:59,013 "Yeah. Oh, hi. 802 00:31:59,046 --> 00:32:00,683 Yeah, okay, I'll call you later. Bye." 803 00:32:00,716 --> 00:32:02,419 That's the woman who lives next-door 804 00:32:02,453 --> 00:32:04,524 who I feel more connected to than my own husband. 805 00:32:04,558 --> 00:32:07,497 (laughter) 806 00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:09,668 (sighs) 807 00:32:09,701 --> 00:32:13,108 All of that, all of that with just imagination. 808 00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:16,047 Can you believe it? I want you out of your seats. 809 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,684 Okay. 810 00:32:17,717 --> 00:32:21,558 I have no texts. Not possible, actually. 811 00:32:24,698 --> 00:32:27,136 [Kate] Uh-oh. Remember her? 812 00:32:27,169 --> 00:32:30,442 (laughter) 813 00:32:30,475 --> 00:32:33,414 You know what that means. Yeah. 814 00:32:33,448 --> 00:32:35,285 We're in the final quadrant of the show. 815 00:32:35,318 --> 00:32:37,055 (scattered laughter) 816 00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:38,692 Isn't that heartbreaking? Mm. 817 00:32:38,726 --> 00:32:40,997 Oh! (chuckles) 818 00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:44,170 (laughter) 819 00:32:44,203 --> 00:32:45,673 I'm actually a huge gear nerd, 820 00:32:45,706 --> 00:32:47,009 so I usually bring my own mic, 821 00:32:47,042 --> 00:32:48,178 'cause I love to be like... 822 00:32:48,211 --> 00:32:50,248 (laughter) 823 00:32:52,319 --> 00:32:53,522 It's good! 824 00:32:55,192 --> 00:32:57,530 We're set. We're set. Okay. 825 00:33:00,335 --> 00:33:03,174 Life, like this show, is cinnamon in the wind. 826 00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:05,412 It's just-- whoosh! You know, it's gone. 827 00:33:05,445 --> 00:33:09,621 And... you're just there left cursing the air like, 828 00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:12,059 "There was spice here once." You know, it's... 829 00:33:12,092 --> 00:33:14,063 (laughter) 830 00:33:14,096 --> 00:33:16,300 That's all it is. It's... 831 00:33:16,334 --> 00:33:18,304 (exhales) It's hard to admit, but, you know, 832 00:33:18,338 --> 00:33:20,041 life is short. I-- I like that. 833 00:33:20,075 --> 00:33:22,012 Life is short, life is short. 834 00:33:22,045 --> 00:33:23,448 Write that down. Okay, we'll, we're filming, 835 00:33:23,481 --> 00:33:25,185 so that's fine. 836 00:33:25,218 --> 00:33:27,022 "Honey?" Shh, my husband. 837 00:33:27,055 --> 00:33:30,061 "Babe... write down 'Life is short'." 838 00:33:30,095 --> 00:33:31,698 (laughter) 839 00:33:31,732 --> 00:33:33,234 "Life is short. I'm just thinking here. 840 00:33:33,268 --> 00:33:34,771 "Uh, live out loud. I like that. 841 00:33:34,804 --> 00:33:36,173 Write that down." 842 00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:41,250 Okay. He's jealous of what I do. 843 00:33:41,284 --> 00:33:43,121 (laughter) 844 00:33:43,154 --> 00:33:44,624 Hmm-hmm. 845 00:33:44,658 --> 00:33:47,462 Um... yeah, but it's true 846 00:33:47,497 --> 00:33:51,170 that this could really be-- Oh, no, not again. Right. 847 00:33:52,607 --> 00:33:55,178 No, but this really is me wrapping up formally. 848 00:33:55,212 --> 00:33:57,617 Um, people close to me know I hate to leave the stage, 849 00:33:57,650 --> 00:34:00,322 so this will not go well, I just want to tell you now. 850 00:34:00,355 --> 00:34:02,459 (laughter) 851 00:34:02,493 --> 00:34:04,463 It's not gonna-- it's not gonna be a smooth one, 852 00:34:04,497 --> 00:34:07,102 but we'll get you-- we'll land you there, okay? 853 00:34:07,135 --> 00:34:09,173 We'll land you in Des Moines. 854 00:34:10,242 --> 00:34:11,745 It's funny. Someone here tonight 855 00:34:11,778 --> 00:34:14,551 has the exact laugh of somebody who deceived me, 856 00:34:14,584 --> 00:34:16,254 and it's really... 857 00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:18,659 (laughter) 858 00:34:18,692 --> 00:34:20,061 Huh. 859 00:34:20,095 --> 00:34:22,500 Now you're quiet, right? 860 00:34:22,533 --> 00:34:24,270 Typical. 861 00:34:24,303 --> 00:34:26,340 You do all look gorgeous, though, I have to say. 862 00:34:26,374 --> 00:34:28,211 When we started this show, you were all like this, 863 00:34:28,244 --> 00:34:30,081 "Oh, the mortgage, the mortgage." Right? 864 00:34:30,115 --> 00:34:32,520 And now you're so relaxed. You're so open. 865 00:34:32,553 --> 00:34:35,292 "The mortgage, the mortgage." You know? 866 00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:36,795 And it is special-- 867 00:34:36,828 --> 00:34:39,634 Oh, my God-- I'm so sorry. Hello? 868 00:34:40,803 --> 00:34:41,805 Yeah! 869 00:34:43,308 --> 00:34:44,644 I'm at work. Why? 870 00:34:44,678 --> 00:34:46,113 (laughter) 871 00:34:46,147 --> 00:34:47,583 Okay. 872 00:34:47,617 --> 00:34:51,190 Um... like 30 minutes, yeah. 873 00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:54,430 Oh, it's going really well. Yeah, it's going well. 874 00:34:54,463 --> 00:34:57,436 Ohh, how is she? 875 00:34:57,469 --> 00:34:59,306 I said, "Ohh, how is she?" 876 00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:01,812 (laughter) 877 00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:04,551 Uh-huh. 878 00:35:04,584 --> 00:35:07,422 Oh, she not find it? Shit. Okay. 879 00:35:07,456 --> 00:35:11,430 Tell her to look under the bed, yeah. Okay. 880 00:35:11,464 --> 00:35:13,669 Okay, okay, great. Um, oh, I gotta go, 881 00:35:13,702 --> 00:35:16,508 but, um... okay, perfect. 882 00:35:17,710 --> 00:35:21,183 I love you, too. Okay. 883 00:35:21,217 --> 00:35:23,321 Bye. 884 00:35:23,354 --> 00:35:26,561 -(exhales) -(laughter) 885 00:35:26,595 --> 00:35:28,197 Oh, my God. No, I'm sorry. 886 00:35:28,231 --> 00:35:29,868 That's... so rude. 887 00:35:29,901 --> 00:35:32,840 First of all, I never wanted to be one of those comedians 888 00:35:32,874 --> 00:35:34,176 who took a call onstage. 889 00:35:34,209 --> 00:35:36,180 That is crazy, crazy rude, 890 00:35:36,213 --> 00:35:38,451 but there's this guy I've been seeing for a while, 891 00:35:38,484 --> 00:35:40,288 and he just like told me he loved me, 892 00:35:40,322 --> 00:35:41,758 so right now I'm just like, oh, my God. 893 00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:44,296 So, I-- immediately, the walls. Isn't that funny? 894 00:35:44,330 --> 00:35:46,434 Immediately. "Oh, God, now I can't trust," but it's-- 895 00:35:46,467 --> 00:35:48,338 (laughter) 896 00:35:48,371 --> 00:35:50,876 I actually-- we do have that solid foundation of trust 897 00:35:50,910 --> 00:35:54,584 because he is my lawyer, so I feel like there is... 898 00:35:54,617 --> 00:35:57,222 we have that, you know? 899 00:35:57,255 --> 00:35:58,926 But... hmm! 900 00:35:58,959 --> 00:36:00,863 I'm just laughing thinking about 901 00:36:00,896 --> 00:36:02,633 how fulfilling my private life is. 902 00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:04,470 It's just crazy. I just-- 903 00:36:04,504 --> 00:36:06,307 And this is amazing. Like, I love being able 904 00:36:06,340 --> 00:36:07,877 to do this and connect like this, 905 00:36:07,910 --> 00:36:09,881 but then I go home to my boys, and it's just very-- 906 00:36:09,914 --> 00:36:12,486 I have seven sons, um... 907 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:17,396 They are 4, 6, 2, 8, 9, 12, and two days. 908 00:36:17,429 --> 00:36:20,770 (chuckles) So I have a lot on my hands. 909 00:36:20,803 --> 00:36:23,709 I-- Yeah, so I have to go home, but, um... 910 00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:32,259 Oh, what-- I can't think about my family for a minute? 911 00:36:32,292 --> 00:36:33,929 Okay, sorry, whoa! Okay! 912 00:36:33,962 --> 00:36:36,233 No, I'll get back on schedule for sure. 913 00:36:36,267 --> 00:36:38,471 Jesus Christ! 914 00:36:38,505 --> 00:36:41,210 In case anyone cares, this whole night has been hell for me. 915 00:36:41,243 --> 00:36:44,818 Okay? In case anyone cares! 916 00:36:44,851 --> 00:36:48,491 Since the very beginning. Tick tock! Right? 917 00:36:48,525 --> 00:36:50,395 "Get to the point, bitch!" Right? 918 00:36:50,428 --> 00:36:51,898 (laughter) 919 00:36:51,932 --> 00:36:53,802 I've felt that from you, so don't worry. 920 00:36:53,836 --> 00:36:55,639 I'll be on my way, and you can go back 921 00:36:55,673 --> 00:36:57,910 to your perfect life without me. 922 00:36:59,881 --> 00:37:02,385 Jesus Christ. 923 00:37:02,419 --> 00:37:04,423 By the way, I'll just say, like, you paid to see me, 924 00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:07,295 but I'm the weirdo. Okay, got it! 925 00:37:07,329 --> 00:37:09,400 Yeah, all of you staring at me, 926 00:37:09,433 --> 00:37:10,936 but I'm the one who has a screw loose. 927 00:37:10,970 --> 00:37:13,509 Got it. Sure. 928 00:37:13,542 --> 00:37:14,944 Okay. 929 00:37:14,978 --> 00:37:17,416 No, I'm being-- It's not cool 930 00:37:17,449 --> 00:37:18,719 to, like, yell at you. 931 00:37:18,752 --> 00:37:20,956 It's... (exhales) 932 00:37:20,990 --> 00:37:23,695 I'm, um, sad to leave, 933 00:37:23,729 --> 00:37:26,434 because until tonight, I-- 934 00:37:26,467 --> 00:37:28,839 I didn't know what a family was. 935 00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:31,945 (laughter) 936 00:37:31,978 --> 00:37:34,851 No, I'm serious. I had always seen in... 937 00:37:34,884 --> 00:37:38,826 books and... TV movie, things like that. 938 00:37:38,859 --> 00:37:40,428 I always saw this family, I always saw 939 00:37:40,462 --> 00:37:42,834 these happy people smiling, and I was always 940 00:37:42,867 --> 00:37:44,269 banging on the glass like this. 941 00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:45,806 "Let me in, let me in!" 942 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,579 And I never could get in, and, um... 943 00:37:48,612 --> 00:37:50,014 I guess tonight for the first time 944 00:37:50,048 --> 00:37:51,685 I actually kind of felt like I was sitting 945 00:37:51,718 --> 00:37:53,354 at the dining room table with everyone. 946 00:37:53,387 --> 00:37:55,593 So, um, that's why it's hard for me to leave, 947 00:37:55,626 --> 00:37:59,299 but I have to leave... I have to get back, um... 948 00:37:59,333 --> 00:38:02,907 I'm selling tank tops and stuff outside, so... 949 00:38:02,940 --> 00:38:05,311 So I have to get back to that, but, um... 950 00:38:05,345 --> 00:38:06,748 all good things must end, right? 951 00:38:06,781 --> 00:38:10,321 "Write that down, babe! That's good, but..." 952 00:38:10,355 --> 00:38:12,894 But I'm gonna put on a happy face... 953 00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:16,000 and we're gonna get on with the show, right? 954 00:38:16,033 --> 00:38:18,872 Because it is a show, and there's so much pressure on me. 955 00:38:18,906 --> 00:38:21,578 And don't-- just-- just don't forget that tonight. 956 00:38:23,515 --> 00:38:24,918 Goodbye. (laughs) No, okay! 957 00:38:24,951 --> 00:38:27,890 (laughter) 958 00:38:27,924 --> 00:38:30,328 Ohh. 959 00:38:30,361 --> 00:38:32,600 Ahh. Come on! 960 00:38:32,633 --> 00:38:34,771 I have to leave? 961 00:38:34,804 --> 00:38:37,643 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay. I actually have to-- 962 00:38:37,677 --> 00:38:39,514 I'm slashing material. That's what I'm doing right now. 963 00:38:39,547 --> 00:38:40,916 It's really hard. I'm slashing. 964 00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:42,753 I'm slashing the good stuff. I had this-- 965 00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:44,489 I did have this incredible closer. 966 00:38:44,524 --> 00:38:46,360 It was like... Mmm! 967 00:38:46,393 --> 00:38:47,897 You know, it was like really creamy 968 00:38:47,930 --> 00:38:49,667 and like brought together all these different little-- 969 00:38:49,701 --> 00:38:51,036 little variations on the show. 970 00:38:51,070 --> 00:38:52,740 It was like all the different threads 971 00:38:52,773 --> 00:38:54,409 of the show into this one finely woven tapestry. 972 00:38:54,443 --> 00:38:55,913 "Here!" You know? 973 00:38:55,946 --> 00:38:59,386 But... time. I just can't. Heh. 974 00:38:59,419 --> 00:39:00,956 Also, closers are gauche. 975 00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:04,029 I'm like, "Oh, oh, I'm real-- here's my big closer." 976 00:39:04,062 --> 00:39:06,935 You know, it's like-- uhh. You know, it's cheap. 977 00:39:06,968 --> 00:39:08,805 (chuckles) It's cheap! 978 00:39:08,839 --> 00:39:10,543 And I don't want to belittle what we have with material. 979 00:39:10,576 --> 00:39:12,078 Like, blah! You know? 980 00:39:12,112 --> 00:39:14,551 Are we on a cruise? You know? Jesus. 981 00:39:14,584 --> 00:39:16,721 No, I'm-- I am like... 982 00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:18,090 delaying leaving. 983 00:39:18,124 --> 00:39:20,061 There is something I, like, don't-- 984 00:39:20,094 --> 00:39:21,831 I've been, like, putting off saying. 985 00:39:21,865 --> 00:39:23,702 I'm just gonna, like, rip off the Band-Aid and say it. 986 00:39:23,735 --> 00:39:26,575 Um... mm! Why is this hard? 987 00:39:26,608 --> 00:39:29,446 Oh-kay. My name is not Kate Berlant. 988 00:39:29,479 --> 00:39:30,783 (laughter) 989 00:39:30,816 --> 00:39:32,820 (chuckles) And I'm not a comedian. 990 00:39:32,853 --> 00:39:36,695 Um... my name is Megan "redacted for my privacy." 991 00:39:36,728 --> 00:39:40,869 Um... but I'm actually the chief research analyst 992 00:39:40,903 --> 00:39:42,873 of Behavioral Science at Cornell University, 993 00:39:42,907 --> 00:39:45,111 and this has been incredible. 994 00:39:45,144 --> 00:39:46,982 I've been living as Kate 995 00:39:47,015 --> 00:39:49,119 for longer than I'd like to admit, 996 00:39:49,152 --> 00:39:51,825 studying the relationship between audience and performer. 997 00:39:51,858 --> 00:39:54,597 Things like that, but tonight, uh, it's over. 998 00:39:54,631 --> 00:39:55,966 This was kind of my magnum opus, 999 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,737 was to perform as her for an hour. 1000 00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,807 I can't believe so many people fell for it, 1001 00:39:59,841 --> 00:40:03,715 but this is my night to sort of shed her, 1002 00:40:03,749 --> 00:40:05,451 and it's been-- it's been amazing, 1003 00:40:05,485 --> 00:40:07,022 but I do want to go back to my roots, 1004 00:40:07,055 --> 00:40:09,459 my real passion, which is irrigation. 1005 00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:13,134 And... yeah, just rerouting water systems, 1006 00:40:13,167 --> 00:40:14,637 the bureaucracy of water, stuff like that, 1007 00:40:14,671 --> 00:40:16,106 I really want to get into. 1008 00:40:16,140 --> 00:40:18,612 Uh, so, yeah, I'm gonna shed Kate tonight, 1009 00:40:18,645 --> 00:40:21,851 and with that... 1010 00:40:21,885 --> 00:40:24,624 Good night! That's not it, but can you imagine? 1011 00:40:24,657 --> 00:40:25,993 (laughter) 1012 00:40:26,026 --> 00:40:29,867 -No. -(scattered applause) 1013 00:40:29,901 --> 00:40:32,038 Not gonna end on that, but, uh... 1014 00:40:32,072 --> 00:40:33,508 But, yeah, okay. 1015 00:40:33,542 --> 00:40:35,746 Ohh! The chili sale. The-- Okay. 1016 00:40:35,779 --> 00:40:39,119 I'm selling chili. Uh... 1017 00:40:39,152 --> 00:40:41,992 (laughter) 1018 00:40:42,025 --> 00:40:43,895 I couldn't send you home with nothing. 1019 00:40:43,929 --> 00:40:46,901 There is a chili sale happening, um, out front. 1020 00:40:46,935 --> 00:40:48,805 There are three crocks. 1021 00:40:48,839 --> 00:40:50,776 They're Mild, Medium, and "Oh No She Didn't." 1022 00:40:50,809 --> 00:40:52,513 It's kind of three different-- 1023 00:40:52,546 --> 00:40:54,884 And we encourage you to layer the chilis, right? 1024 00:40:54,917 --> 00:40:58,759 Have fun with it. They're 3.99, yeah, uh, a cup. 1025 00:40:58,792 --> 00:41:00,629 And please, please buy it. 1026 00:41:00,663 --> 00:41:02,900 Know that all the proceeds go. 1027 00:41:02,933 --> 00:41:05,004 -(laughter) -Um... 1028 00:41:05,038 --> 00:41:07,643 So-- so that's great. 1029 00:41:07,677 --> 00:41:09,212 (clears throat) 1030 00:41:09,246 --> 00:41:13,789 Well, this has been explosive. Your words, not mine. 1031 00:41:13,822 --> 00:41:16,026 But, um... yeah, it really is time. 1032 00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:18,799 I have to say when I first got here tonight... 1033 00:41:18,832 --> 00:41:20,201 I didn't know what to expect. I was like, 1034 00:41:20,234 --> 00:41:21,805 Will the spirit be with me, right? 1035 00:41:21,838 --> 00:41:23,809 Will tonight be a night I just go home, 1036 00:41:23,842 --> 00:41:25,846 open up the Uber app, and watch the cars go? 1037 00:41:25,879 --> 00:41:28,819 -You know, is that... -(laughter) 1038 00:41:28,852 --> 00:41:30,188 See, right there I could've left. 1039 00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:31,825 That would have been good. 1040 00:41:31,858 --> 00:41:34,162 That would have been professional, in fact. 1041 00:41:34,196 --> 00:41:36,200 Okay, should we do house lights up? 1042 00:41:36,233 --> 00:41:37,636 I don't know-- Here's what's so crazy. 1043 00:41:37,670 --> 00:41:39,674 Here's-- here's my dirty secret. 1044 00:41:39,707 --> 00:41:41,678 The show's over. 1045 00:41:41,711 --> 00:41:43,180 No, but it reall-- it ended-- Yeah, see-- 1046 00:41:43,214 --> 00:41:45,084 By the way, look how casual I am. 1047 00:41:45,118 --> 00:41:46,220 (laughter) 1048 00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:47,957 (taps on microphone) 1049 00:41:47,990 --> 00:41:49,594 Is this thing-- No, you know. 1050 00:41:49,627 --> 00:41:51,998 "Where wasn't I?" That's the name of the show. 1051 00:41:52,032 --> 00:41:53,935 -But... -(gentle music) 1052 00:41:53,969 --> 00:41:55,739 Yeah, that's the kind of casual kind of... 1053 00:41:55,773 --> 00:41:58,612 (laughter) 1054 00:41:58,645 --> 00:42:00,849 Oh, my water. 1055 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:05,124 Wait, there's a camera here? 1056 00:42:05,158 --> 00:42:06,795 ♪♪♪ 1057 00:42:06,828 --> 00:42:10,969 Oh, no. 1058 00:42:11,003 --> 00:42:13,074 Damn it. 1059 00:42:13,107 --> 00:42:16,246 I wanted to do this, and that, and the other thing. 1060 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,119 (indistinct) 1061 00:42:19,152 --> 00:42:21,858 (music continues) 1062 00:42:21,891 --> 00:42:31,945 ♪♪♪ 1063 00:42:31,945 --> 00:43:50,301 ♪♪♪