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MALE VOICE 1: Sound is rolling.
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MALE VOICE 2: We're interviewing Alex at base camp.
ALEX: Right on.
(LAUGHS) Here we go. Start talking. Say interesting things.
(LAUGHS) I love these things.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
NEWSCASTER 1: There are great mountain climbers,
-and then there is Alex Lowe. -NEWSCASTER 2: Alex Lowe,
who many of his peers think has no equal in the mountains.
NEWSCASTER 3: The best mountain climber around.
NEWSCASTER 4: Probably the best ever known around the world
as the ultimate American hero.
ALEX: You know, I don't really quite agree with your statement,
"World's best climber."
Mostly there's just, sort of, persistent climbers,
you know, they just can't give it up.
ALEX: There's no doubt that something in my chemistry...
is attracted to risk.
But I don't see myself as a risk-taker. I see myself as a risk-controller.
INTERVIEWER: So, the last question is something that all of us
are really impressed by because you're also a family man.
What's it like juggling those two big things in one's life?
It's the hardest thing I do, and it's the most rewarding thing I do.
-INTERVIEWER: Wife and three kids. -ALEX: Yeah.
Yeah, my wife's name is Jennifer, and I have three boys.
Max is my oldest, he's ten.
Max, and Sam, and Isaac, they go everywhere with me.
(ALEX WHOOPING)
Gotta love this stuff.
Yeah.
(SIGHS) Oh, I love it.
(GRUNTS, HOWLS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
MAX: Most of these slides probably haven't been looked at in, like, 20 years.
ISAAC: Yeah.
Never really had a need to go digging through all these memories.
Till your kid comes along and decides to make a documentary about...
your family. (CHUCKLES)
Definitely feel conflicted, bringing everything
back up to the surface for all of you guys.
What is that?
MAX: Alex's last entry.
"6:00 a.m. leave for Tibet."
(GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
MAX: Oh, man.
Is that on there? Or not quite?
Oh!
-JENNIFER: And there's Max. -MAX: Oh, my God.
That's me. That's a climb I did.
Dang, I haven't seen these, I completely forgot.
You didn't brush your hair. (CHUCKLES)
-MAX: Yeah. This is my... this is my look. -This is the way you brush your hair?
Oh, cute. That's Sammy.
I don't even remember ever looking at these pictures.
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
-Okay. -MAX: Are you ready?
Are you excited?
No.
MAX: Why not?
'Cause I'm anxious.
(ALL LAUGHING)
We still make that same face when you take a picture of us.
(LAUGHS)
MAX: Why are you anxious?
Feel like it's probably just gonna bring things out in the open.
And then we'll just see if we can recover from that.
MAX: That is a nice outfit.
-He was just a little baby. -(LAUGHS)
ISAAC: I guess, I'm curious as to why you wanna make this film.
Considering it's something that we haven't really explored with...
just ourselves, very much at all.
Oh, there's Alex. That's the first shot of Alex.
Look at him.
MAX: I was ten years old...
on October 5th, 1999.
I just remember Mom was just a mess...
and couldn't even contain herself.
Just said that Dad's gone.
I mean, he was a superhero to me when he was alive.
But his body was never recovered.
(PROJECTOR CLICKING)
It was like an astronaut lost in space.
I mean, I don't think you could ever question his love for our family.
But...
he also chose to be there, so...
I guess, we might as well start at the very beginning.
Where did you first meet Alex?
JENNIFER: I was working in a little shop.
Alex came in, he was this young, exuberant guy.
I can remember just watching him and thinking,
"Who is this kid? My God, look at the energy this kid has."
With his shaggy, long hair, kind of a dirt bag.
I was like, "Oh, my God, this guy is like...
"out of a dream." (LAUGHS)
I was so smitten with him.
But he was a climber.
So, I didn't think for a minute that I'd end up with him.
I'm like, "Hey, this'll be kind of a fun fling.
"I'll get to have some adventures with this guy."
And we lived that life for a few years.
But when he asked me to marry him,
I kind of turned into a big, old pile of Jell-O
and just said yes right away.
(CHUCKLES) 'Cause I was like, "I can't ever see life without you."
-ALEX: Bring it on. -(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
MAX: What did you think of him when you first met him?
ALICE: I've never known anybody like Alex.
I have a lot of specific memories of ice climbing with Jenni
'cause we were... It was always terrifying.
MALE VOICE: Thank you, bro. Look alive.
(ALEX GRUNTING)
(MAN LAUGHING)
ALEX: That's fun.
-(GRUNTS) -ALICE: His energy just seemed limitless.
Just an amazing amount of energy.
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
You know, he just had the need to get his ya-ya's out.
Okay, now I want it bad.
BILL: We would live in mortal fear of the phone calls
from Alex wanting to get out in the morning.
I remember picking up the phone once, and it was just like
I hadn't even... I just said, "Hello?" And then it was like,
"Hey, Bill, this is Alex.
"Why don't you be at my place at 4:00 a.m.?
"4:00 a.m.?" "Yeah, see you then." Click.
ANDREW: We became really good friends.
I think it was just because I'd just say, "Yes" a lot of times. (CHUCKLES )Yeah.
But I was just a moderate climber.
ALEX: Well, what do you say? Shall we roll?
It's not getting any smaller.
But it was Alex, though, he was like, "Ah, don't worry about it, it'll be fine."
-ANDREW: Happy! -ALEX: I know. (LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS)
ALEX: I could pull the bag away for you,
but it'll probably make better film if I don't.
-Okay. -ALEX: You having fun?
MAX: So, his life back then seem a little reckless maybe?
-Well, so... -Did you...
-And well... -(CHUCKLING) Did you see him as that?
Yeah, kinda.
Yeah, we did.
But I think if you looked at how hard Alex practiced,
the danger for him is a lot less than maybe it would appear.
MAX: What about starting a family?
JENNIFER: You know, Alex was afraid of losing his freedom
to go climbing as much.
So, we were together seven years
before we decided to bring you into the world.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: But like any new father if you're there during the birth,
it kinda blows your mind.
He had you all nestled in his giant, long arms.
His hands were so big that when he put his hand to mine like that,
that his fingers wrapped like that around mine.
You were a towheaded terror. We just referred to you as Mad Max.
JENNIFER: Mister Trouble.
You were pretty precocious. You talked practically before you walked.
And so, we'd made all these big, grown up decisions.
He was gonna work for this oil well services company.
And we had just bought this house, and we thought we were staying put there.
But then...
he got a job on Everest.
It was pretty unnerving because he wanted to quit his job.
But he was gonna earn a ton of money.
And so, you know, I'm like, "Yeah, go for it."
-MAX: You encouraged him? -JENNIFER: Yeah.
He was kind of a wild thing.
You know? There was just no reigning him in.
And I kinda liked that about him.
(MILD-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
And I can remember getting a phone call from NBC News,
"Your husband just became the 40th American
"to summit Mount Everest, you know, what do you think of that?"
And you turned two the same week.
ALEX: I was really lucky on Everest to be up there by myself.
It was just gorgeous and...
My gosh, it was just a really peaceful, wonderful feeling.
MAX: Do you think that climbing was first for him?
Boy, I don't... I don't... Boy, I don't know.
I would say that he had an unstoppable need
for that physical activity.
And he just had to do that. So, does that make you guys second?
Doesn't mean he wouldn't love you like crazy, but he couldn't not do that.
ALEX: I think one thing that really served me well
is a boldness tempered with enough experience...
to know my limits.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(EXHALES DEEPLY) Oh, yeah, let's do this.
(CHUCKLES)
MAX: Can you remember the first time you met Alex?
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
Yep.
We knew of each other by reputation.
But Alex had more acclaim than I did. And so, when he moved to town...
I wasn't the king anymore. (LAUGHS) But that was cool.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
CONRAD: We both would wake up in the morning,
and it was, "Let's go climbing." It's sort of like a dog that wakes up,
and it's like, "We've gotta go play fetch now.
"Not in 15 minutes, now." (CHUCKLES)
BILL: If you're gonna climb with Alex, you need to be up to the task.
And Conrad was one of the few people that were.
Sweet...
CONRAD: How fast and how difficult of a route could we do?
...emotion...
And how badass are you really?
Yeah!
-(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) -(MEN CHEERING)
BILL: Conrad and Alex...
hooked up as partners.
Some sweat hog mama With a face like a gent
ALEX: All right, Conrad. Send it.
But Conrad became the strong, you know, backup singer or second man to the man.
CONRAD: Our fearless leader, Alex Lowe.
(PLANE ENGINE WHIRS)
ALEX: It's going down!
Power glide!
JIMMY: You couldn't not hear about Conrad and Alex if you were into climbing.
They were the dynamic duo, iconic figures that in many ways...
how you think about, you know, superheroes.
Sweet...
JIMMY: Like, how did they get there? How did they do that?
They were doing things so extraordinary that people outside of climbing
know who these people are.
Sweet emotion
ANDREW: Suddenly, climbing caught on.
Companies started figuring out
how to use the athletes for advertisements.
The North Face had actual real contracts,
and, you know, suddenly, it was like, "Really?
"Really? Contract?"
All of a sudden, you're a professional. As a professional, you want to...
push it.
(CHEERS)
(SNOWMOBILES REVVING)
CONRAD: Although we weren't biological brothers...
we were certainly brothers of the same passion.
We both wanted to do more.
INTERVIEWER: Now, you keep doing this, you're a father.
Do you ever wonder if it's slightly selfish
-to go off on these adventures? -I struggle with that some.
-INTERVIEWER: Mm-hmm. -But, you know, a lot of people associate
that question with the inherent risk, and to me,
it's um... There's risk involved in everything we do in life...
-INTERVIEWER: Mm-hmm. -...and you just choose your risk.
MAX: At the time, was he kinda one of the few dudes who had a family?
ANDREW: Oh, for sure. Within the climbing community,
it was very unusual. It was like, "Hey, you have kids?
"You're... How can you have kids? That's...
"You have to be a responsible adult to have kids."
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Happy birthday to Sam
Happy Birthday, dear Sam
Happy Birthday to you
JENNIFER: It was challenging to be raising kids...
a lot of the time by myself.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: I would get angry at him. I'd be like, "You're away too much.
"We've got these kids, and they need a father.
"They love you. I want you to be here more."
When Isaac arrived on the scene, that was even harder.
INTERVIEWER: How much time on a 12-month period
would you say that you're away?
Oh, you should ask Jennifer that question. (LAUGHS)
INTERVIEWER: And what does she do?
She's an artist. She paints, sells her work.
INTERVIEWER: Is it taxing somewhat? Or has it been such an evolutionary thing,
it works out pretty well?
Oh, no, it's definitely taxing. Yeah. I mean, we make a lot of compromises.
JENNIFER: It was hard sometimes juggling my career as an artist
with being a good mom.
ANDREW: You know, Alex would call your mom St. Jennifer.
I mean, she knew the outdoor lifestyle, but more than anything she was...
you know, put up with Alex's travel.
JENNIFER: Alex was a little jealous of Conrad.
Because Conrad was footloose and fancy-free. He didn't have a wife,
and so, he could go off on an expedition at the drop of a hat.
BILL: If he didn't get his fix...
he could be kind of unbearable.
Especially if he was feeling like that caged animal.
JENNIFER: He'd get frustrated. He was impatient.
And had his moments of explosiveness.
He'd yell at you, and you would get scared.
Alex wasn't a perfect character.
He wasn't a perfect character.
MAX: Did you ever talk to him about doubts that he could balance having a family
and be a climber?
JENNIFER: Oh, yeah.
He was struggling.
He wrote me pages of letters.
Always looking within himself.
He was feeling like, you know, are we better off if he leaves,
and we find somebody else to, you know, take his place?
(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Silent night...
JENNIFER: I mean, you were the oldest, and you knew him
better than your brothers.
JENNIFER: You know, when Alex went away, you were the most cognizant...
and you were the most cognizant of what death meant.
Christ the Savior is born
(WIND HOWLING)
It's beginning To look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere I go
That's the only line I know.
(INDISTINCT SONG PLAYING OVER RADIO)
"Merry Christmas, Dad, we're all thinking of you on this special day.
"We're missing you. We send our love with this card.
"Each of us boys has written you a letter you'll find enclosed."
See what they say.
Max said...
"Merry Christmas, Dad. I miss you. Come home, son."
I think translates to "soon." "And let's play the 'fitl'...
"together. And go shoot some pool. Love, Max. To Dad."
All right. Thanks, Max.
Pretty crazy place to spend Christmas.
Long ways from these guys.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
INTERVIEWER: We're interviewing Alex.
And the first question is to tell us
why it's special while climbing in Antarctica.
ALEX: Antarctica, in my opinion, is the last true wilderness left
on the planet. You know you're alone.
It's as close as I'll probably come in my lifetime
to being on a foreign planet.
But it gets harder and harder as the years go by.
I think a lot of it is because of my family.
And I think the biggest struggle...
I mean, I've spent... I spent many, many years
stuck in tents before I had a family.
It was no big deal. I mean, we just had infinite number of books to read,
and time was easy to kill.
Time's not quite as easy to kill for me anymore.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
If I'm not moving steadily toward the goal...
in finishing this trip and getting back with my kids.
It starts to get a little hard because I wish I was with 'em.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
ALEX: Okay, now, Max, let's talk about this.
-What are you thinking? -(ISAAC BLABBERING)
Nothing.
ALEX: All right. Well, then what are we gonna do today?
Um...
-Go skiing. -ALEX: Okay. What are you eating, Isaac?
(ALEX GRUNTING)
Is that what skiers eat for breakfast? Now, Sam.
Tell me, do you like to ski?
-Ski! -Yeah.
ALEX: Like, how much do you like to ski?
A million days.
ALEX: Well, that's too long, isn't it?
Do you like being in the movie?
(MEOWS)
-(MAX CHUCKLES) -(MEOWS)
(IMITATES CAT) We do.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
-ALEX: Do you ski fast? -MAX: Yeah.
ALEX: Do you ski really fast?
-Yeah. -ALEX: Do you go over big bumps?
-No. -ALEX: No.
Cool.
MAX: And if you had to describe to someone who he was, how would you do that?
Um...
I don't... honestly... (INHALES SHARPLY)
...all that I have to describe him as is basically what he did. I don't...
have any solid memories of him.
ALEX: Come on, bud. That's it.
You're doing great.
-MALE VOICE: One of your boys up there? -ALEX: Yeah.
Just getting a little ski footage,
you know, just to embarrass 'em when they're older.
(ALEX IMITATES CAR) What do you call this, Max?
Butt slide!
(SHRIEKS)
-ALEX: Well, that's pretty exciting. -Yeah.
MAX: Do you have any memories of Alex?
ISAAC: Not really. No.
Kind of at this point feels like...
some sort of...
dream or something.
ALEX: Are you glad to see Dad?
-Yeah. -ALEX: Can you come give me a big hug?
MAX: Do you think our lives would be entirely different?
ISAAC: If Alex hadn't have died?
I think about that a lot.
We all have a glorified idea of who Alex was.
And that he was kind of like Superman.
It's just sometimes easy to imagine that...
like, I could be a better person in another life somewhere or...
I don't know.
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING OVER STEREO)
ALEX: The trip home. How about that?
Bunch of weary skiers.
-You tired, Max? -Yeah.
-ALEX: Huh? -Yeah.
ALEX: Yeah? Did you ski hard?
-Yeah. -ALEX: Gnarly. How about this guy?
Do you think he's wasted?
Hey, Sam. Are you wasted?
Nice work, you guys.
I got some pretty great ski friends.
Yeah.
JENNIFER: Do you remember the last time he had come home?
MAX: Vaguely.
-ALEX: Blow! -JENNIFER: Blow!
-ALEX: Go, buddy! -(JENNIFER CHEERING)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: North Face were planning the trip...
to Shishapangma in Tibet.
But he did have some doubts and he was like,
"Oh, God, I feel like I just got home.
"Maybe I should back out on this trip."
And so, you guys went rock climbing together.
"We're gonna climb the Grand."
You were so excited about it. And it was on that trip...
you guys became really close friends.
Do you remember that?
-MAX: A little bit. -Little bit?
You must remember some of those 'cause you're tearing up a little bit.
-Yeah. -MAX: Yeah. That's when he asked me
if he should go to Shishapangma or not.
I know.
And what did you say?
I think I told him that...
I understand. I understood that he had to.
That's what I... that's what he did.
-JENNIFER: It was his work. -Yeah.
Yeah.
MAX: It's this story that I've told myself so many times over the years.
I know, those are...
(EXHALES DEEPLY) ...those are hard memories to hold, aren't they?
Well...
I have my own.
(WIND RUSTLING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(CLATTERING)
MIKE: You know what you were looking for, right, Max?
MAX: Yeah.
Stuff that says Shishapangma. Or we called it Shish.
MIKE: Ooh. That looks familiar.
-MIKE: This is it. Right here. -MAX: Yeah, this is the stuff, buddy.
MAX: So, this is brutal, but this is...
Conrad's interview. This one's intense.
Yeah, I'm curious to see if there's anything else beyond what...
MIKE: Yeah, what's in that... what we already know.
(MAN CLEARING THROAT)
Yeah. You know, this isn't gonna be very fun, Max.
(VIDEO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND)
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) -MIKE: Prepared?
-MALE VOICE: Mm-hmm. -MIKE: Sound is rolling.
-MALE VOICE: And begin. -MIKE: Here we go.
Okay.
What happened? (CHUCKLES)
-MALE VOICE: I got no idea. -ALEX: Yeah.
-Looked like birds. -Yeah.
CONRAD: To ski the south side of Shishapangma, that was the goal.
A pretty wild and...
crazy ambitious type of goal to go do.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
CONRAD: There's a lot of these risks that we don't know.
We always have the weather, and the weather rules the mountains.
Is it putting more snow in that couloir? Is that snow in there unstable?
Is there a weak layer?
Are we exposing ourself to unnecessary risk?
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(BELLS RINGING)
ALEX: Oh, yeah!
MALE VOICE: What is this place?
Oh, man, this is BC. This is nirvana is what this is.
It's where we're gonna hang out...
and just enjoy the mountains.
(BOTH CHEERING)
Bastard. It's so good to be here with you.
This is, like, this is where I... thrive.
-ALEX: Yeah. -I always feel good going up
-to this altitude. It's like... -Yup.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(RAZOR BUZZING)
Yes, I actually do have facial hair. Not much, but a little bit.
MAX: Did he confide in you a lot of things?
CONRAD: He and I were tent mates on that trip.
He realized that he was one trip too many.
And that constant expeditions was taking a toll on his family.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
He wanted to be there for you.
He said you wanted to go to Disneyland.
And that rather than it being like climbing or something like that,
it was like, "Oh, this is something that...
"that the kids wanted to do, I need to listen to the kids."
And he wanted to go do that.
Did you have much snow?
Yes, there's a lot of snow in the south space.
-ALEX: Yeah? -There coming a lot of avalanches down.
ALEX: Oh, yeah? It's just powder or flat...
A little powder now from this night.
-ANDREW: Yeah? -Yesterday evening they are coming...
-Yeah. -...they're coming, some...
-some avalanches. -ALEX: Awesome.
-So, late in the day? -ANDREW: Where?
Information gathered, it could be bad in the afternoons up here.
ANDREW: Mm-hmm. Go early.
So, early is better.
-Usually is. -(ALL LAUGHING)
Okay.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Yo!
Looks like we're gonna have a powder day.
ALEX: And on this snowy morning, God gave us latte.
CONRAD: Oh, yes.
MAX: Can you just describe in as much detail as you can that day?
MALE VOICE: All right.
CONRAD: We'd talked about it being a rest day.
ALEX: Okay, lattes, Andrew.
CONRAD: But there was, like, this energy to go do something.
-ANDREW: Grazie, grazie. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Very nice thing on a snowy morning. It's a very nice thing on a nice morning.
(MAN PANTING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
And...
we looked up and we saw that there was a...
an avalanche that had triggered.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
At that moment, we went to the most ancient part of your brain
telling you what to do in survival.
And David and Alex went one direction, and I went to another direction.
The snow picked me up.
I thought, "I'm going to die today.
"Death is happening."
(MUSIC STOPS)
(CAMERA TURNING ON)
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(TENT ZIPPING)
MALE VOICE 1: Here.
MALE VOICE 2: So, Conrad, maybe you could tell us about the...
how you got the cuts on your head.
MALE VOICE 1: There you go.
-MALE VOICE: Yeah. -CONRAD: Outran an avalanche.
(MAN EXHALES)
But two people didn't.
-David Bridges and Alex Lowe. -MALE VOICE: Is that the guys?
MALE VOICE 1: There's a one in a bazillion chance that those guys
somehow crawled out from under a crevasse. But you never know.
MALE VOICE 2: Yeah.
MALE VOICE 1: And, uh...
I mean, without beacons,
all you can hope for is a glove or a foot sticking up.
MALE VOICE 2: Yeah.
-I don't know. -MALE VOICE: Yeah.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
MALE VOICE: Those... Where those chunks are right there,
is that where they were running?
-Is that where you guys were? -CONRAD: They were, yeah.
They were right about where those chunks are.
Hear that?
(SNOW AND ROCK TUMBLING)
MALE VOICE: See it coming down right there?
-MALE VOICE 1: More fluctuation, guys. -MALE VOICE 2: Oh, my God.
Hey, what are we doing up here? This is stupid.
Things are just sliding all over the place.
MALE VOICE: Just hope that it was over really quick for those guys.
Just knowing Alex, you just always expect him to, you know...
throw a hand up or something.
It's just so eerie to...
to think of two friends buried out there somewhere.
A real sense of helplessness, you know, after it happened.
It was just standing here, just kind of like, "Alex! Alex!"
And, you know, this total eerie silence, clear...
(EXHALES HEAVILY) Well, that's, um...
(EXHALES)
What else is on that one?
It's just more stuff like that.
Well, thanks for shooting it.
(EXHALES HEAVILY) I'm sorry.
(MAX SNIFFLES)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: It was morning.
I had just taken you and Sam to school.
I'd come home with Isaac. Maybe he was in the stroller.
And the phone rang.
You know, at first, you know, it didn't come through that well
and I thought it was Alex.
You know, I'm like, "Alex? Alex?" You know?
So, then finally, you know, it came through and I could hear
Andrew's voice, and it was totally quavering, you know?
And...
he told me there's been an avalanche, and...
"I'm really sorry, Alex is buried."
And I spoke to Jennifer, and it was... and there's...
"They're gone."
I still remember the way Conrad kept saying, "Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer,"
because she was like...
"You go up there, and you get him. You find him."
(SNOW AND ROCK FALLING)
ANNOUNCER: KTVM Station 42, The News Leader, this is the News at Six.
Well, the search for mountain climber, Alex Lowe, has been called off.
The body of the legendary mountain climber will remain buried
beneath a Himalayan avalanche. The 40-year-old Bozeman resident
and cameraman David Bridges are presumed dead.
CONRAD: All of us here on the Shishapangma expedition
are deeply at a loss.
Two great people are gone.
And from my own standpoint, Alex being one of the closest friends,
and the sympathy we extend to Jennifer, his wife,
and their three sons...
Max, Sam, and Isaac.
This is Conrad signing off. Thank you.
(MAN SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
MAX: Did you know they were dead?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, there was...
there was a finality to it.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: For the first couple days, I kept clinging to the hope
that he was just in a crevasse, and he was gonna dig his way out of there.
'Cause he was Superman.
I can remember just how horrible it was to walk out on the porch...
and have it be the headlines of the paper.
"Alex Lowe Dead."
Because that makes it more real.
Isaac was only three.
I cried more around him because I thought he was more oblivious.
And so, when he came to me, and he's like, "Mom, you don't have to cry anymore.
"You can quit crying, Mom. Mommy, it's okay." You know, and he was three.
So, that was the hardest... that was probably the hardest part of it,
you know? And I would try not to cry in front of you kids, and I would go
cry in the shower.
I was down in his office
before we'd cleaned out any of his stuff, and I was just looking around that,
and I was like, "Oh, I'm never gonna see...
"my dad again."
And I think that might have been the first time
that I actually started crying about it.
MAX: Do you remember how you felt?
Yeah. Scared.
Sad. Confused.
JENNIFER: You know, I can remember Sammy saying...
"Maybe we can find his body, and clone him...
"and bring him back."
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: Our service was very soon after the accident.
-A little... a yak bell... from... -(BELL TOLLING)
...our recent exhibition.
JENNIFER: You know, about a week later.
And in part, you know, I just didn't wanna wait.
He was so proud of his sons.
And loved them fiercely.
Even though he struggled with how to be a father
and a mountaineer at the same time.
He always told me that his love for his family
was the greatest thing in his life, and I believe that.
-MAX: I don't even remember. -Thank you.
MAX: Feel like maybe I just, like, blacked it out.
Did it seem like I was different?
You used to go sit out on the roof.
I think you went out there, and sat, and cried, and thought about things.
But you felt that you had to maybe be little man of the house.
-JENNIFER: Holy cow. Got one. -MAX: Mom, I'll reel him in.
JENNIFER: So, you got a little bit protective of me...
and protective of your brothers.
And I think you still thought he could come back.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: You hung on to that hope.
Yeah, here's this...
painting that Alex made for me...
while he was on Shishapangma for my birthday.
And he had shipped it from the base camp.
So, I got it in the mail after the avalanche.
So I think that when I got the...
letter from him, I assumed that he had sent it
after he had supposedly died.
So, it must have meant that he was still alive.
And it was like I was frozen...
with Alex.
NEWSCASTER 1: Avalanche, burying and apparently killing
one of the world's best, 40-year-old Alex Lowe.
A celebrity among mountain climbers, the brightest star.
NEWSCASTER 2: A photograph captures Alex working his way
up the mountain with a frozen, injured climber on his back.
In another era, he might have been Marco Polo.
MALE VOICE: You know, he's the guy who comes along once every 100 years.
NEWSCASTER 3: Lowe was married and a father of three boys.
CONRAD: It should have been me.
Survivor's guilt is a bear.
The worst part of it is, you have a lot of...
very...
unhealthy thoughts that...
-I think that... -MAX: Like what?
You wanna take your life. And that's just...
You look at yourself as not... as being...
of less value than what the other...
the other...
this... the person that died.
I just felt so sad, because what he would do for you
as a father, it was never gonna happen.
I mean, what can I... what could I do for Alex?
What could I do to take care of him, and what would it be?
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Packed up the...
Toyota Tercel...
and drove out to Montana for Christmas.
And I was with all of you for Christmas.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
JENNIFER: I can remember Conrad arriving on my doorstep.
I just looked at him, and he could barely hold it together.
From the moment that I saw him, you know, and gave him a hug,
he's like, "I'm going to Disneyland with you guys.
"It's what Alex wanted to do and I wanna be there with you."
(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(CHEERS, LAUGHS)
(CHEERS, SCREAMS)
That was awesome!
(CONRAD LAUGHING) You get spun around on that one.
JENNIFER: Being with him felt like being close to Alex.
It really just felt like a comfortable, old shoe.
MAX: What’s your memory of that?
SAM: I just remember that it was...
pretty comforting to have him there, feeling like you have two parents again.
CONRAD: Sam came up, and he was like,
"Will you be our dad?
"This would be great." And Jenni was completely like...
(CHUCKLES)
But, um, yeah, that was...
I mean, Jenni and I probably...
were thinking about it, but we hadn't...
neither of us had spoken about it at that...
at that moment.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
You never know what's around the corner.
MAX: When did you first start thinking about Mom as more than just a friend?
Yeah.
MAX: Do you remember the first time you thought about him in a romantic sense?
Yeah.
When he would come to visit here...
I knew that there was feelings developing on both sides.
But we'd never talked about it.
MAX: Were you surprised?
Not...
I think we both knew it was happening.
We just went with it.
I guess, the tension was building and... we...
let the tension sweep us away.
Three months after the avalanche...
our love began to blossom.
INTERVIEWER: Had to be disbelief for you, right? Anger, grief, everything?
I think it's everything everyone always feels, you know?
When you lose somebody you love.
Shock, horror, you know?
Not wanting to believe it.
CONRAD: There's an unwritten thing there that...
should one of the others...
make it through something... um, you would be there to help out.
And you wouldn't have any hesitation about picking up the phone
and saying, "Conrad. I need your help"?
I have already picked it up a lot of times.
He's been there.
INTERVIEWER: This is a letter from Alex when he's on the wall. "Dearest Jenni,
"the little alpine forget-me-nots are blooming each day.
"Do you think that you could come up with an idea for a painting
"that ties together the idea of these flowers
"and our love for each other?"
-He signs this one, "Infinite love, Alex." -I know.
I can still feel that love.
MAX: Did you think about...
the gravity of the situation?
Oh, no, that was love. It was... We were in love, and...
I mean, you don't...
break out the spreadsheet, and look at the balances,
and the pros and cons, and we were in love.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
MAX: I remember catching you guys kissing once.
JENNIFER: I do remember that.
You were upset with me at first, like, "Mom, how can you love somebody else?"
You didn't take to Conrad like your brothers.
You were, like, "Well, what does this mean?
"You know, what if dad comes back?"
You were adamant that he wasn't dead yet.
But, in part, Max, it was a validation of my love for Alex.
I'm not going to let the painful end to those years with him...
be the end of me opening my heart to love someone else.
It's worth it.
Why?
-Why is it worth it to love someone? -MAX: I mean, I just can't...
I can't imagine... (EXHALES DEEPLY)
...in the wake of something so crushing to...
come out of it so quickly in the way that you did.
JENNIFER: I had these three kids, and...
it felt like life was going really fast.
And so, it felt like making a decision,
and just doing something needed to be done.
It felt like you don't have time to wait around.
There wasn't time to overthink it, Max.
I just acted.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
And I said to him, "It isn't just me,
"these three little boys were gonna fall in love with him, too."
And he said, "I'm all in."
And he moved up here to Bozeman one year after Alex's death.
MAX: What was it like filling the physical space in the house
that used to be Alex's?
Yeah, well...
it felt right, it didn't... It wasn't forced, it was...
a...
natural...
progression.
SAM: It was almost kind of like a seamless transition in my memory.
And then, yeah, I mean, there was like a brief period
of accepting Conrad as a dad figure and...
but...
feel like we got through that pretty quickly.
MAX: Why do you think we took him in so quickly?
In my memory, it just seems like it was just,
like one light switched off and one switched on.
-You know what I mean? -Yeah.
You know, I don't know. That's weird to think about.
MAX: Did you ever think about what Alex would have thought?
Oh, yeah.
Plenty of times. I had lots of dreams that Alex...
you know, came back. (CHUCKLES) You know?
That Alex actually showed up, and I was like,
"What the hell?" You know? "Conrad's just here."
And Conrad had dreams like that, too.
Yeah.
(BELL TOLLING)
(GENTLE EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
BOY: I wanna film.
-CONRAD: You do? -Yeah.
CONRAD: Where are we at?
-Italy. -And what are we doing?
-Having a wedding. -Whose wedding?
-You and Mom's. -Wow.
JENNIFER: I don't think of it as just mine and Conrad's wedding,
I think of it as our wedding...
with you boys, too.
We're gathered here for a joyous occasion to witness the celebration
and coming together of these two lives of Jennifer Lowe and Conrad Anker.
MAX: What were the detractors saying?
JENNIFER: I mean, there was people who were nasty and said mean things.
PRIEST: Here in this place, which Jenni and Conrad
have chosen as the site of their marriage...
"It was too soon, and it was too immediate, and it was...
-"it's just... it's not gonna last." -Conrad...
you came into my life at a time when I was in the most desperate need,
to know that I could love again.
CONRAD: "It's a fling, why is he inflicting that pain onto...
"to them, and the kids, because he's gonna leave them again."
Today, I join with you...
as your husband...
father to your sons, a father to Alex's wonderful sons...
and your friendship, and your love everlasting.
"Were they having an affair before Alex died?"
You know, there was that kind of nastiness, but...
whatever.
PRIEST: By the power of your own love, I pronounce you married.
(GENTLE EMOTIONAL MUSIC CONTINUES)
JENNIFER: It felt good.
Better than good, it felt like a miracle.
Smile!
JENNIFER: Look at those facial expressions.
We looked out at the ocean...
and started life anew.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
CONRAD: Good job, Sam.
Alex built this foundation, and we're gonna raise it up.
(GRUNTS)
CONRAD: All right, be careful.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -CONRAD: Jenni!
How's the dam looking, Max?
-Is this the best mud you've ever had? -(LAUGHS)
(BOY EXCLAIMING)
CONRAD: Did you guys sleep well?
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
JENNIFER: In some respects, it's a fairytale ending.
That's the kind of endings that people like.
That's the kind of endings I like.
Although, I do kinda like the idea of climbing on the back of a dragon
and flying away, too. (LAUGHS)
JENNIFER: First thing's first, I'm gonna make one apple pie
and two pumpkins.
-So... -MAX: We can make a cooking show
-out of this B-roll, Mom. -(JENNIFER CHUCKLING)
-You can hold my hair back, honey. -CONRAD: Yes. You've got it down.
I sort of forgot about it.
-You can tilt your head back. -Okay.
There you go. And there, that's just about right.
(LAUGHS)
JENNIFER: And initially, he was like,
"I'm through with the big mountains, I'm not gonna go back.
-"It isn't worth it. -(DOG PANTING)
JENNIFER: "The pain that this caused in your life and in your family's life."
So, you know, he had that moment.
But, of course, after...
not too long, you know, the mountains were calling his name again.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: That's what feeds his soul.
I can understand that.
(MAN CHUCKLING)
CONRAD: That is cool, man.
MAX: How did you feel when Conrad kept climbing?
Thinking it's just similar to Alex in a lot of ways. Just...
couldn't give up his passion for doing what he loved.
MAX: Were you scared that he might die, too?
SAM: Yeah, definitely.
Had some moments thinking about what would it be like
if he died on an expedition as well, and...
Yeah, it's not a fun thing to think about.
MAX: Do you remember when he adopted us?
SAM: Yeah.
Isaac and I got our names changed, and Mom.
But you just kept your last name as Lowe.
But, yeah, I don't know why, that's just what happened.
MAX: Yeah.
I don't really understand why I did that either.
Should we flip-flop some of these from the hot side?
-CONRAD: Yeah. -Are those juiciest?
MAX: Do you call Alex or Conrad "Dad"?
SAM: I call Conrad "Dad."
When I talk about Alex, I just call him Alex.
Conrad's the only dad I've ever known.
-Oh, look at Sammy. -Yeah.
Sammy, like, lived in a hat for about four years.
He never took his hat off. (CHUCKLES) Look at this little note.
CONRAD: "I love you. I think you're special, 'cause you love us all."
-(JENNIFER CHUCKLING) "Love, Sam." -ISAAC: Aw.
SAM: For all intents and purposes, Conrad is our dad.
-CONRAD: Oh, this is great. -ISAAC: I'll get it for ya.
SAM: Maybe less so for you since you had four more years
of knowing Alex.
There's Max.
MAX: Do you think Conrad was aware of that comparison?
Yeah.
I know he's aware of it. We've talked about it a lot.
"Dearest Conrad, I am ever grateful that you chose to be our...
"to be a dad for our boys.
"All of our wonderful memories together
"create the fabric of our family and the love we share.
"Thanks, and happy Father's Day." Heart, "Jenni."
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
You're the best.
It's just living in his house, marrying his widow, raising his boys.
People coming up to me and calling me Alex.
Me, living in that shadow, and just...
living in that shadow, and doing the best I can.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
CONRAD: You are my son.
I have no other family. This is my family.
And Alex died.
And he is gone. And I know that, because I went through it.
We became one family...
because of that finality.
And Alex wasn't coming back.
DAVID: In 2016, I was on the south face of Shishapangma.
It was a beautiful day, like, blue sky.
In the distance, you see kind of the next seven, 6000-meter peaks,
kind of, lining up. And then, all the colors you see are natural colors.
So, it's all painted white, black, brown, rock colors.
(WIND RUSTLING)
And there are these kind of colored dots...
coming out of the snow.
Like things which immediately, if you move a lot in this environment,
kind of catch your attention because they don't belong there.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: Conrad and I had just celebrated our anniversary.
And...
Conrad got a phone call, and it was David Goettler.
And I could tell by the look on his face that it was something heavy.
But, you know, he got off the phone and he told me...
"David Goettler found their bodies. It has to be them."
NEWSCASTER: Sixteen years after they were buried by an avalanche,
the bodies of American mountain climber, Alex Lowe, and cameraman, David Bridges,
have been found on a mountain in Tibet.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
MAX: What went through your mind at that moment?
JENNIFER: It was like he came back to life. He showed up, you know?
MAX: Yeah.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(LAUGHS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JENNIFER: Feelings of trepidation, like...
"What will it be like to see him...
"after 17 years?"
(MEN SPEAKING LHASA)
(LAUGHS)
ISAAC: Surrounded by the most breathtaking vistas.
But it's also tainted by...
the reason you're there.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: I had kind of hated Tibet.
But to see it up close...
I could see why Alex loved it up there.
I wasn't...
angry at the mountain anymore.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
(BELLS JANGLING)
MALE VOICE: Yeah, I think going up that...
So, do you remember, um, dropping down on either side?
Or did you just stay on the... on the high part of the terrain?
-MALE VOICE: If we drop into it... -CONRAD: I was wrought
with that whole thing.
The weight of survivor's guilt...
the self-questioning, the self-doubt.
Why someone else and why not yourself?
And all those questions came back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
CONRAD: How far to them?
-MALE VOICE 1: 5.22 k. -MALE VOICE 2: We should go.
CONRAD: Man, something's not...
I mean, that's like on the other side of that mountain.
Yes.
All right, we gotta keep moving.
MAX: I fell behind just 'cause...
I just didn't know... I just didn't know if I could go up and...
see... see him yet.
(WATER BABBLING)
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
MAX: They were coming down with the stretchers.
-You could see them coming down. -MAX: Yeah.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-MALE VOICE: Hey, Max. -MAX: Hey.
(WATER BABBLING)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
MALE VOICE: Let's go, steady.
JENNIFER: Just knowing that he was inside that bag after all those years.
Because, even after 17 years, their bodies were not decomposed.
His vest got ripped.
-All right. -CONRAD: Check the chest marks.
His head was just like this, down.
And, you know, I knew, from having taken avalanche courses
that that was the avalanche position. And so, I had the realization that,
you know, he probably was alive, and buried under that avalanche,
and suffocated.
It probably wasn't instant.
But more like a few minutes.
But his wedding ring was pressed against his heart.
And I pulled this arm out.
And I pulled his wedding ring off of his finger.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
The same ring that I had put on that finger years before.
And that was the hardest thing.
But I wanted to keep that ring.
And so, I slipped it onto my own hand, and then I put my hand to his.
His fingers would wrap around mine like this.
But over those 17 years, his hand had shrunk
to being the same size as my own.
But it was still his hand, and I was able to press...
my hand to his like we had in life, and say goodbye.
(JENNIFER CRYING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(BELL RINGING)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
(BELL RINGING)
ISAAC: You never think you're gonna have to confront the...
body of your hero...
in that state.
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
ISAAC: The idea of this glorified Superman figure
somewhat crumbled away.
It's just, like, a guy.
(SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
JENNIFER: There's probably nothing in there, my guess is.
MAX: I don't know, it's got a CF card.
Have you tried cleaning it off a little bit?
Yeah.
JENNIFER: He put his name and address on everything.
-SAM: Yeah. -JENNIFER: Yeah, Conrad does that, too.
Well, when you travel,
you've gotta make sure it gets back to you.
JENNIFER: Yeah.
Well, the moment of truth.
-MAX: There it is. -CONRAD: Wow.
MAX: It loaded.
JENNIFER: Oh, Max.
CONRAD: Yeah, the birthday card. I remember he did that.
JENNIFER: Wow, that was the last thing.
Isn't this pretty out here?
MAX: "Good morning, Max.
"I'm up having my breakfast in a Sherpa teahouse,
"but I'm thinking about you waking up at home.
"And maybe having pancakes or waffles with Mom.
"There are lots of boys your age here in the village I'm in,
"called Namche Bazaar.
"They go sledding on plastic boxes.
"I'll go for a hike towards Everest after my breakfast.
"What will you do?
"I miss you.
"I love you very much. I'll be very happy to come home
"to be with you. Have fun today.
-"Love, Dad." -JENNIFER: Here's a letter from 1993.
"Last night, the moon was full and so bright
"that I thought about how very much I love you
"when I looked at the moon.
"And I hope you can see it, so you will know that I love you."
He used to sing this little song, do you remember that?
-MAX: Yeah. -Can you sing it?
I see the moon, and the moon sees me The moon sees someone I'd like to see
It's been, like, one of the craziest parts about this whole thing for me
is, like, having all of this.
JENNIFER: But, you know, it was Conrad that wanted
to save every bit of Alex's stuff.
Conrad has been really hanging onto him
in a way, a lot more than I have all these years.
MAX: This is from Conrad.
JENNIFER: Let's see.
"Dear Jenni, may this letter find you in good spirits.
"There is hardly a moment...
"that the four of you are not in my thoughts.
"At times, it is difficult for me.
"I cry myself to sleep, waking up grinding my teeth
"with very dark thoughts.
"I gather strength knowing that you are there.
"You and the boys are the ones I wanna help and care for.
"To be there for the boys as they mature into little men...
"and become men, is something I hope to do."
And this was...
this was just, like, a month after Alex died.
And he's done that.
(MAX SNIFFLES)
Helps me understand.
It also just makes me wanna show him how much...
we love him back.
JENNIFER: Mm-hmm.
MAX: And you, too, Mom.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
JENNIFER: Wait, this hand, it's this way.
Yep, and your hands are just the way his were, long.
(MAX SNIFFLING)
JENNIFER: And I hope that it'll help you accept
that you can lose someone...
and still love someone else.
Alex is a lucky guy...
-Oh, yeah. -...in that his best friend...
Build that strength.
-...who loved him... -MALE VOICE: ...this onto you.
...fell in love with me...
and each of you.
Nice, Sam.
JENNIFER: He's a really lucky guy.
We've had an incredibly adventurous life with Conrad.
That's pretty special.
MAX: I feel like...
there's always kind of been this, like...
wall between us a little bit.
Like, I couldn't talk to you about some stuff
'cause it just seemed like it was too scary to bring up.
Stuff with our family, and stuff with Alex.
Yeah, it's, uh... Not a day that goes by that we don't think of Alex,
and remember who he is, and what it's like, and...
-and he... -MAX: Is that hard in some ways?
Sometimes, it's...
it's... Yeah.
Having to be compared to him or living in his shadow, it can weigh.
He was a great person, but he wasn't perfect.
But oftentimes, with people's passing, those people are lionized,
and, you know, turned into heroes, and put up on a pedestal.
And they're... But, yeah, every time...
MAX: Does that make you wish that you had died like that sometimes?
Yeah, and that's why... that's the...
the bear I keep in the cave, and I keep the wolf at the door.
But, uh...
MAX: People see you as a hero for what you did though in our family.
How do you feel like you did?
Oh...
I'm not the right person to ask 'cause I'm not easy on myself.
-So... (CHUCKLES) ...yeah. -MAX: Yeah.
I think I could have done better at it and other things. But, you know...
MAX: You know, we have this shadow of Alex that hangs over all of us. But...
I mean, for all of us, like, you're...
you're our dad.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
You've done as good a job as I could have ever imagined.
We all really love you for it.
(CHUCKLES)
-MAX: I love you, Dad. -I love you, Max.
(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
JENNIFER: So, guys...
they're not exactly ashes, but they're parts of his bones. So...
if everybody wants to take a handful...
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
-ALEX: Hey buddy, did you have a good day? -Yeah.
All the way from Tibet...
-we brought you home, buddy. -CONRAD: Here you go, Sam.
ALEX: What's the funnest part of skiing?
-Going down. -ALEX: Well, cool.
JENNIFER: And we'll carry him...
-(CONRAD SOBBING) -...all the way to our own graves.
'Cause he's part of all of us.
-CONRAD: You're my man! -ALEX: Conrad!
CONRAD: Good to see you, man.
Love you, Alex Lowe.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
I wrote me a book, I hid the last page
I didn't even look I think I locked it in a cage
Wrote a novel
'Cause everybody likes to read a novel...
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -That's pretty amazing.
It started with a word And it started pretty well
About a rare and fragile bird That I couldn't even spell on the table
I think I left it on the table...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JENNIFER: Thanks to everyone here today
who has contributed to building this extraordinary facility
to keep the people who climb in these mountains safe.
(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
JENNIFER: We have built our dream.
Hello, will you be mine?
Haven't felt this alive in a long time
All the streets are warm today
I read the signs
I haven't felt this love in a long time
The sun is up, the sun will stay
All for the new day
The very last breath of the hero Of our tale
Will leave you only to guess Did he truly prevail in the sequel?
I guess, I'll have to write a sequel
My favorite part's when I die
In your arms like a movie
It's tragic, but now the story Has its proper end