(movie reel intro screen)
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(R&B music begins)
- Everything will be just fine.
- Thanks babe.
- You welcome.
But we do need to get ready
for your mother's 50th birthday party.
Our plane leaves soon.
- About that...
you sure you ready to meet my family?
- Yeah, I mean, how bad could it be?
- All right (hesitantly).
(R&B music plays)
- Baby! Yo man is hungry!
I'ma go over there to Joe's Rib Shack
and spend yo birthday with them.
- Just go on down to the Rib Shack.
And you goin' miss out on greens, yams,
and my famous macaroni and cheese
and trust me, it will be worth the wait.
- I'm sure it will be, but let me ask you...
is that cornmeal on yo fingers?
(both laughing)
No, just let me get the cornmeal off your fingers.
- Cut it out, you play too much, stop, oohhh ooohh.
- Let me lick the cornmeal off ya fingers.
- [Flo] You play too much (indistinct)!
(phone ringing)
Hello.
Oh, hi baby! How you doing?
Oh, you're almost here?
Good! Okay, so what time does your plane land?
- Who dat!?
- Shhhhh!
Of course the invitation still stands,
honey we'd be happy to have you over for dinner Lisa.
- Invitation? There's no invitation.
- Yes.
Six o'clock...
I'll see you then. All right. Merry Christmas, baby.
- Um. Um hmm...
- What?
- Flo, you know better.
Stop playin' matchmaker.
- I'm not!
- Um hm.
- Well, maybe just a little.
(R&B music plays)
- Mom Johnson.
Jonas Johnson.
- That boy can make his own decisions about love.
You know, I did and look what it got me.
Fine fox like you and I didn't need no help (chuckles).
Yeah, smooth as silk, I was, 'member?
- Um hm.
- Pretty Ricky's what they call me.
(both laughing)
- Thank you, sweetie,
but Jonas is my baby
and I know what's best for him even when he doesn't.
Besides it's my birthday and I can do what I wanna do!
(both chuckling)
- You sure can, baby.
(both laughing)
- Hey. - Hey.
- Hello.
- [Hair Client] (indistinct) I can't believe you
finally goin' bring yo (indistinct), hold on.
So, you just goin' open the garage,
so Pookie and 'nem can see me gettin' a weave?
- Girl, it's hot in here. - I can't with the garage!
- It's hot in here!
If you don't like it, you can go to another salon.
- Now, you know I ain't goin find nobody else to do my hair
for $15 a track.
- Right, you get what you pay for.
- Hey girl, I'm back, more hood chronicles.
So, I was shocked to see that you're going
to the little party!
- I was shocked when I received an invite.
- (chuckles) Why? You know the Johnson's
have always treated you like family.
- I mean, we're pretty close
and Mrs. Johnson only turns 50 once.
- Yeah, you know Jonas is goin' be there.
- Have you forgotten? It's football season,
so he won't be there.
- Apparently, you don't watch the news.
Jonas was injured and he hasn't played in months.
Rumor is he will never play again,
girl you know them football players get cut left and right.
- Wow, I have to admit I'm not much of a sports fan,
but I'm sure he'll be here with his teammates
and besides his mom knows better
than to put us in the same room together.
- Why the hell would she have a birthday party
and not invite her son?
- I don't know! Less drama maybe.
- (laughing) Yeah. - You know it's been a long
time since the family's come together.
- That girl's not family, Flo.
She's an X-Factor, that's what she is.
- She's a long time family friend and that's close enough.
- You heard me, let the chocolate love connection
take care of that.
- Look, I just think they let some things get in the way.
They still didn't help gettin' back together.
- I hear he's quite the celebrity athlete,
my mom said he, shuts the whole city down when he visits.
- [Hair Client] Yeah and every time I see him
he has a different girl on his arm.
- Um, he has changed.
- That he has, but he's just going through
all those counterfeits,
so that he can find his way back to you.
- It'll be just fine.
You know how I know?
- How do you know?
- Because whatever God's will is
- Um. - be!
- Um! - And if it's not meant
to be, no worries.
- Hmm, now, did you say God's will?
- Um hm.
- Well, if that be the case,
why are you dippin' Flo?
God don't need yo help!
You wrong, Flo.
- Oh baby, I just like seein' people happy
like you and I, that's all.
(both show each other affection)
- Um hmm, well, if they have a chance
for a fraction of what you and I have,
then I guess it's nothing wrong with that.
(both laughing)
You think maybe later we can do that thing
that we said we'd do once a year?
You know, 'round...
- On your birthday!
Today is my birthday, Johnny.
- Oh yeah.
(R&B music plays)
- It's me again, James Brown, work for the people
and I feel good!
- Come on in.
- Thank you Mr. Johnson, how are you today, sir?
- I was doing good, I was.
Come on in.
- I doubt that, I mean,
he finally has what he's always wanted
and that's fame and fortune.
Something, I never really too much cared for.
Well, except for the fortune part (laughs)!
- Girl, you better do like everybody else
and open you up a little boutique.
Have him pay for it, he good for it.
You better get him before he spend the rest of that money
on them white girls.
Stop! Being rough, girl let me call you back,
I'll see you in a minute.
Why you gotta be so rough!?
- (chuckles) Crazy, old Danny (chuckles).
- And y'all ain't got nothin' else to do?
You ain't got nobody to kill?
Nobody to rough up?
You just goin' stare at me?
Oh, y'all just still goin' look?
Y'all aint never seen nobody get weave?
I know I've been sayin' this my hair for years,
but it is, but it ain't.
- It's a lot to look at,
like all head. - What you talkin' about?
- And tell your little girlfriend that this is my real hair,
'cause I know she be asking.
Stop, bein' so rough!
That's why you get fired from every salon.
I'm the last customer you got!
- You can get out my garage if you don't like it.
- And then how you goin pay your rent?
- I like the hood.
You know those white people don't need me in the suburbs.
- Sir, I understand it can be hard to let go and move on,
but it'll be better, don't you think?
- Listen, James, - James (indistinct).
- that's the problem with some people,
they get a little money and they forget
about the community that they came from.
I'm not selling!
(R&B music begins)
- Whoo!
- Oh man!
Um! Tastes like victory.
So, you thought more about what I said?
About being down with the set?
- I don't know man, it just seems kind of...
- Yo! Forget about tryin' to get that
basketball scholarship!
What! Why are you wasting your time
on an empty dream anyways?
You never goin' be like your brother.
So stop livin' in the shadows.
- Why are you bringing up Jonas?
For real, you know I hate that man.
I get it, I'm not like him, I don't need you reminding me.
Just drop it man.
- All right, man.
- Ugh man...
It's Jonas, man.
Hold on. - Aight man.
- Yo, what's up?
- Big dog! Hey little bro. Just called to check on you,
how you doin'?
- I'm busy man, what do you want?
- Oh you busy (chuckles)?
Just lettin' you know comin' in town.
- I mean, cause we never see you,
but your name is the most talked about in the house.
- Aye, well I miss y'all too man.
Now in fact look, keep it under wraps
I'm comin' in town soon.
Wanna spend some quality time wit' you and the family.
Aight?
- Yeah, aight superstar, bye!
- Hello?
- Thank you, man.
That's my little brother.
- I'm down.
- That's what I like to hear.
- ♪ Go tell it on the mountain, ♪
♪ over the hills and everywhere! ♪
♪ Go tell it on the mountain, ♪
♪ that Jesus Christ... ♪
oh baby, that goes right over here.
(humming)
(dramatic music begins)
- Felt the house kinda rockin' when you came in.
- Hmm!
- Happy birthday mama.
- Thank you baby!
- So, how do you feel?
- Baby, I'm good. I am so happy Jonas made it home
for my birthday!
Can't believe it. Made all his favorite stuff.
Oohh! It's gonna be a party.
Oh just, God is just so good!
I couldn't ask for more!
Ooohhh and if it got any better
I'd be jealous of myself. - Mom, I'ma go shower,
all right?
- Okay baby. - I'll talk to you later,
all right? - Um hm, okay.
(humming)
- Like your taxes and that ring around your car,
I'ma always be around.
- Listen, I'm big daddy 'round here.
I pay all the bills up and around here.
You're here, 'cause I let you be.
- Oh! So you're big man in charge.
- You lookin' at him.
- Oh, well if you're the big man in charge,
why don't you stop poppin them little blue pills
to get yourself goin'?
- Flo! You told her about that!?
- She told me. We are girls! We don't keep secrets.
She told me something else too.
She said without them little blue pills,
you ain't nothin' but the two minute man.
Two minutes.
- What! You told her about that?
- [Barbara] (laughing)
- Well sometimes, sometimes all Johnny need is two minutes.
- [Johnny] That's right! That's right!
- I see, (indistinct) two minutes man, the two minutes man,
two minutes, two and two.
- Is anything sacred in this house?
- Barb! Hush it up, now!
- In two minutes (laughing)!
Two and two, two and two, you got that old medicated love.
Two and two, two, two, two, two, two, two (laughing).
Two and two, two and two, two, two,
two, two and two and two!
- That heffer has got to get out of this house.
(Hip hop music begins)
- They need to trade that boy.
He ain't good for nothing!
Hey, wait a minute.
Baby, this that fool keep talkin' to me
about selling my house.
Jonas keep sendin him over here.
Talkin about, "We need to move out of the hood."
This house is bought and paid for (chuckles).
- Sis, you remember that song
that we used to sing when we was kids?
- You mean the one that (laughing)
we got in so much (indistinct) in?
I think I do, let me see if this one (indistinct).
♪ Well, don't you know that everything that is good ♪
♪ ain't always good. ♪
- ♪ Ain't always good. ♪
- ♪ Well, well, well ♪
- ♪ Everything that looks good, ain't always good. ♪
- ♪ Ain't always good. ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪
- ♪ (high note)! ♪
♪ Her hair could be hangin' down her back ♪
- ♪ And her bosom may be (indistinct). ♪
- ♪ Well, everything that looks good ♪
ain't always good. - ♪ Ain't always good. ♪
(both laughing)
Girl, I got in so much trouble followin' after you.
- Yes, I could remember
when mama used to whoop my tail (laughing)!
- Girl, I stayed in some mess (indistinct).
- I tried to be like you.
(sisters chatting)
(phone dialing)
- Hello Charlie? Merry Christmas!
This is Johnny. Yeah, yeah jolly, yeah, yeah,
she's fine, she's fine.
Listen, I know you're still heartbroken
over the recent loss of your dearly beloved wife,
but Charlie I think it might be time for you
to get back on that horse...
or should I say that cow?
Now look here, I got somebody I want you to meet.
Well, she's a little hard on the eyes, Charlie.
Booty!?
She got two booties, Charlie.
She got a booty in the back, booty in the front.
(chuckles) Just like you like 'em.
Yes, sir (chuckles)!
Look here, why don't you come over to my house tonight?
Around 6:00 p.m.
Yeah.
Yeah! I still live in a hood, yeah.
All right, I'll see you then.
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes Lord, yes Lord! Jesus!
Stayin here over my dead body (chuckles).
- Oh, so that's something, that's funny,
because that's the same thing that my second dead husband
used to say and now he's dead!
- You here this? That's practically an admission!
Listen you two. - Come on now, you know
(indistinct).
- (laughing)
- We are family, ain't nobody goin' nowhere.
Families stick together no matter what
and can we please just have one day outta the year,
where you two don't fight!?
- No! - Demon breath.
- I ain't no kin to that! - I can't stand him, uh uh.
- You tell me she's some kin, she's got to get outta here!
I'm tellin' you now, she's got to get.
You goin' get out of here! I'm not playin' wit you,
I'm not kiddin'!
I'm not shuckin' and jivin'!
- Listen, this is my sister's house
and I'm tellin' you now, I ain't goin' nowhere.
(someone knocks at the door)
- I'm not goin' nowhere. - I tell you what, I tell you
what.
- What? What? What? - I tell you what, you gone
- What? What? What? - You gone...
- Heyyyy! - Heyyyy, baby!
We didn't hear you come in.
- Happy Birthday
and Merry Christmas - Thank you!
- To you young lady.
- You gone... - Youuuu gone.
- listen to what I'm tell you - You, you, yoouuu gone...
- Now, you know these two drivin' me crazy!
- (chuckles) I know, all the time.
- Hey son! - Hey pops!
- Barbara, you heard me. I want you out! Out!
I want you out!
(pop music begins)
- Hmmm, hold on, hold on,
I smell that cream cheese pound cake ma.
- Honey, you know I made it just for you.
- Well, thank you ma.
Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners?
This is my lady Jasmine.
(suspense music begins)
- Hi Jasmine.
- Howdy do?
- Hello everyone! Thank you for inviting me into your home.
- Invited?
You're welcome.
(some members chuckles)
- Hey pops, you over there standin' there,
come on give me a hug old man (chuckles).
- All right, all right, come on now,
you know what I said about them long hugs.
- I know. - What did I tell ya?
What I say?
- You said three second rule, pop.
- That's right, you're in and you're out!
- Okay, all right.
Ah, don't you turn your lip up at me.
There's my favorite auntie. Pretty as you wanna be,
every time I see you, look at you.
- Which is never! Ah, come on, I gotta get the love I can
when I see ya, huh? - (chuckling).
- Looka here and what is this? The new flavor?
- Aunt B, please, not right now.
- No, no, no, no, no, she's right this time.
You know, every time we see you,
you on the cover of some magazine wit a different girl?
- Well pop, those are friends, now Jasmine here,
this is my fiance pops.
- Fiance?
- Yeah ma.
- That boy done lost his mind.
- Well, Jonas has told me so much about all of you.
- Well, we haven't seent or heard about you before today!
- Pop.
- Well, it's so quiet up in here,
you could hear a rat lickin' on ice.
- (chuckling) Peein' on cotton too.
- Hmm, listen, make yourself at home.
It's a good thing, it's not your aunt's Meatloaf Day,
'cause it tastes like dog food.
There, I said it (chuckles).
- I see you found my secret ingredient.
- Barbara! - I don't feel so bad
now about peein' in ya tea.
- Oh, you'll pee on yourself before you ever get to my tea.
- You know what? If you ain't - What?
- shovin' food in your mouth...
(people begin chatting in the background)
(R&B music begins)
(car playing loud music)
- Really?
Wow!
- Hey girl!
- Really?
- (screams)
Hey girl, what's up!?
(muffled) Look at you!
Oh my God! Boop, boop! (screams)
- Stop it! - I see them airbags done
activated, you look all cute and stuff!
- You know?
- (laughing).
When did you get those? You went to a doctor?
- You know what? It's good to see you too!
That's what I love about you. - Oh okay, I'm just sayin', I
just remember you back in the day,
when you ain't had no ass or hip.
- Um hm. - Look like you don't filled
out all right. - Well, you know a little
something. - You look great!
(screams) See, I knew you had a little hood in you.
- A little somethin', somethin',
but it's good to see you and I'm glad you have not changed.
- Girl, change for what? I'm fabulous.
Let me help you wit your luggage.
Can you walk with all that ass?
(chuckles).
Girl, I'm so excited.
Oh, girl this just my boyfriend's Boogie car.
He must owe Boogie some money.
Don't be scared.
You know Boogie ain't gone - You know what?
- do nothin' to him.
- It's cool. I can call an Uber, it's okay.
- No! Girl please! Go ahead and get yo ass in the car!
I'ma take care of this!
Go on 'head, thickness!
Get yo ass out!
Get up! Stand up like a man!
Stand up! You owe Boogie some money?
- Um um, (indistinct). - Don't you lie to me!
Do you owe Boogie some money?
I better not find out you owe him anything!
You know what? Today is your lucky day!
Stop cryin', I'ma let you go, okay?
And you better not tell Boogie I did this,
because if you did, I'ma tell him...
that I didn't and I'm goin' come after you to myself, okay?
So, go 'head, Merry Christmas fool.
Hold up! Get yo ass back over here!
Put the luggage in the car!
(slams luggage in the car) - Gently! Gently!
Hey girl! I know that startled you little bit,
but it ain't nothing.
(R&B music begins)
- Here son.
- Thank you, ma.
- Jasmine, can I get you anything else?
- No thanks though, where's your restroom?
- Right down the hall.
Don't use the good towels.
- Barbara, please.
- Why can't she use the good towels?
I use the good towels.
- Hmm, from the looks of the strains on your shirt,
I could've swore you was using your shirt!
- (chuckles) Last week, I wiped with that skunk
you got on your head, you call it a weave (laughing).
(R&B music begins)
- You look real familiar.
- Yeah, I played basketball at Middleton,
maybe you seen a game or two.
- (chuckles) Nah, nah...
you Jonas Johnson's little brother.
- Yeah, that's my brother.
What that got to do wit' anything?
- (chuckles) This dude here.
What's that got to do wit anything?
Man, your brother's the top player in the NFL,
making mad paper!
Why in the hell would you be in here
wit' a room full of killers?
Must be crazy. - (chuckles).
- Well, that's just it. That's his paper.
Ready to make my own and make a little name for myself.
- Okay, hmm, I can dig it. This little dude got heart.
- Told you, man.
- We'll see.
I tell you what? Meet me in the park tonight at 10
and we'll see just how much heart you got?
Now get up outta here!
These clowns here, man!
- Boss?
- Pour me a drink, man.
- You got it, boss.
- Is this the reason why you don't come around anymore?
- Nah, ma, you know I'm used to it.
I do worry about Jasmine,
she hasn't been around this type family before.
(indistinct) you think about her man, she's fine, right?
- Who her? Well, I mean, if you like skin and bones, I mean,
she just looks like the type of girl
if you rubbed up against her, she'd start a fire.
(chuckling) a little twig!
- She remind me of one of them monster high (indistinct).
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I felt sorry for her. I wanted to hug her again.
"Listen here baby, you can eat, here's a chicken wing."
Here is a chicken wing.
(laughing)
- I agree with all of that, just don't you hug her.
You'll suffocate the poor thing.
- Get out of here.
- Son, I'm the type of brother,
like a little meat on this bones.
You see, I'm from the dirty south.
- Wit' a funky mouth.
- Shave your armpits!
(laughing)
Listen son!
- I'm listenin pops.
- A brother like me, likes a woman
that I can cuddle up to her in the winter time
and keep warm.
Big booty!
- Come on.
- You understand what I'm sayin'?
Like your mother.
- Pause pops, that's too much information, okay?
- Yes, well, it's how you got here.
- Okay, pops.
- Son, there's so much more to a woman
than just how she looks.
- Now, I know pops, so besides that, you know,
she is a good woman, comes from a good family,
she supports me and more importantly pops, it's no drama.
- No drama? - No drama, no backtalk,
no lip.
- No lip!? Wait, wait.
No lip?
Son, I don't even know what that feels like.
I don't know what it feels like,
I don't know what it sounds like.
- Quiet.
- Quiet. Man, yo mama
sleeps wit' her fists balled up at night
in case I start something.
- And that's what I'm talkin about pops, exactly.
Jasmine and I, we don't fight, we don't argue.
There's no drama, she... - What you say?
- She's perfect.
- (chuckles) There no perfect women's son.
- Maybe, but she's close.
- Well, yeah, that's what you said about the last one
wasn't it? Yeah, and the one before that.
- Yes!
- The woman before that, - [Barbara] Right!
- Wasn't it? What happened to that white girl
you brought here a couple of summers ago?
- Can you stop with the white girl talk, it's Amy,
her name is Amy.
- Amy!? Boy, I don't care what her name is!
She can't use our comb, why'd you bring her home?
(everyone laughs)
- But do y'all remember that Asian girl?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah (laughing)!
- That poor thing honey, she thought the
chitlins was pasta. - Yes she did! Yes she did.
- That was crazy, you know she broke up wit' me?
Thought we was tryin' to kill her,
thought we was tryin' to poison her.
Tryin' to feed her feces or whatever.
- Well, at least I can say this is the closest one to black
that you brought since this (indistinct).
- Now, I agree with that.
(everyone talking at once)
- Okay, that's enough everybody, all right?
- It's okay ma, 'cause you know what,
I had to go through my share of women
to get to the right one
and I feel that Jasmine's the right one.
- Boy, if you don't get your head
out of the crack of your ass!
- Barbara!
- What!?
- Now son, I'm sure Jasmine is a nice girl,
but to bring her here to meet your family after you engage,
don't sound like she's the one.
- Honey, everything that looks good ain't good for you.
- Ain't that the truth.
- Um! Oh yes sir, I'm telling you.
- She's all right. We good.
(doorbell rings)
- Baby, it's so good to see you.
Look at you! Honey, you look just as beautiful
as you did five or so years ago!
- Thank you, it has been
a long time hasn't it? - It has been.
- Awww, that's my girl! How you doin' baby? Bring it in!
- (laughs) - Awww,
it's good to see you baby, ooohhhhh!
It feels good to be home, New York is phenomenal!
Oh my gosh, you would (indistinct).
- Oooohhh, oh yes! - You know what?
we should do girls weekend.
Go shoppin'! - Girls trip.
- Oh I love it!
- That would be awesome! That would be awesome.
Hmmm, I'm ready. Um um, don't worry about that.
- (chuckles) Stop it, you're gonna get us in trouble.
- Lisa?
What are you doin' here?
I didn't expect you to be here.
- Neither did I.
I mean, I wasn't expecting for you to be here either.
Your mom said that you're hardly home
during football season, so...
- Yeah, I'm on injured reserve, so coach let me fly out,
but mom, you didn't tell me that Lisa was gonna be here.
- I ain't gotta tell you nothing'!
- Nothin'.
- This is my birthday and it's my house!
- Absolutely. - Yes, it is baby.
- That's right and you didn't even tell us
that she was comin'.
- What?
- Honey, Lisa is my guest.
Baby, can I take it?
- Yes.
- Look at her.
- Ooohhhh. - Ooohhhhh.
- Dang!
(everyone laughs)
Son, you are in trouble.
- Mom, come on man.
- Oooohhhh, she done growed up now. Ding, ding, ding!
(everyone laughs)
- Well, this is Jasmine.
- Awwww.
- My fiance, my fiance.
- Boy why did you have to say that?
- 'Cause she is!
- Naw, you dumb just like yo daddy.
- No, it's okay. - Yes, he is.
- Hi, I'm Lisa, I'm an old friend of Jonas'.
Have we met? You look familiar.
- Oh no, I'm sure we don't run in the same circles.
- Absolutely not, 'cause she runs in a pack a gold diggers.
- What did she just say? - Nothin'.
- Yes, she does. - Barbara...
- Barbara, will you come help me in the kitchen?
Can you please come help me out in the kitchen?
- And while you're in there, make me some popcorn baby,
'cause this is bouts to get good!
- Come on pop. - (laughing).
- So, I hear you're quite the man on the field.
Some things never change.
- You know, I do all right, you know, a little bit.
- All right? Baby don't be so modest.
My man, has it goin' on.
These last few years have been wonderful.
- Ha! Years?
- Years? - Years?
We ain't never seent you before today!
- Never!
- Y'all have, come on man.
- We've been off and on for a few years,
but Jonas just popped the question just last week!
Look at my rock.
- Yes, it's beautiful!
Jonas, what took you so long?
- I, you know, had to make sure
she was the right woman for me,
so it's only goin' be one Mrs. Johnson, so...
- That ain't even goin' happen.
- Um um. - They didn't even set a date.
They didn't even set a date. - Um um, um um.
- It ain't happenin'.
- Hey, what's up lil bro? How's everything...?
- Lisa! - Heyyyy!
How are you (indistinct)?
- Hello, how are you?
- You have grown to be such a tall, handsome young man!
- Yes, yes, yes,
I was hopin' that I'd see you around here again.
You know, you're my favorite! - Okay. So tell me what's been
goin' on?
How's school? Do you have a girlfriend?
- Hey, wait, wait, wait, y'all can catch up a little bit
later on...
Derek, I want you to meet my fiance.
- All right man, but I'm talkin' to Lisa. All right?
I'll get to it.
Don't expect me to jump every time you say jump.
- Hey man, you who you think you talkin' to little man?
You know what? It's okay.
- You know what? I'm gonna run to the restroom.
You all catch up.
- Okay. - All right.
- Son, why are you and your brother always goin at it?
Look, he just got home.
- It's okay mom. - He's not gonna be here.
- Oh baby, listen honey, he just got home!
(bathroom door closes)
Come on, Lisa. You got this.
You can do this, pull yourself together.
(R&B music begins)
(runs water)
- Just get somethin' to eat,
come on, let's go. - Yeah.
- Okay mom, sorry about that.
It's mom's birthday, let's just...
Doin' it for her, while I'm here.
(doorbell rings)
- Who could that be?
- Oh, oh, I almost forgot
about my surprise guest (chuckles)!
Baby, do me a favor...
go open that door.
- Guest!? Honey, you didn't want the ones we had.
- Yeah, but you goin' like this one!
Especially you big draws (chuckles) and listen,
you can officially no longer say,
I've never done anything nice for you.
- Shut up. - (chuckles).
Whoooo!
(laughing) Charlie!! - Hey there, Johnny!
How you doin'?
- Boy, looka there, lookin' like a shiny penny!
- Yeah, you know (indistinct).
(both laughing)
- Listen here, I got somebody I need you to meet.
- Oh yeah?
Where she at? Is she thick?
Red bone or chocolate milk?
Is that her right there?
Now, you know I can't do 'em that young.
- Let's get a closer look (chuckles).
Charlie, this here, my heffer in law, I mean,
Lord have mercy, this is my sister in law.
- (chuckles) Hello, my name is Barbie.
- Barbie? Listen, barbaric she might be,
but Barbie, she is not (chuckles).
She called herself Barbie. - It's so good to meet you.
- Baby, the pleasure is all mine!
Lord Jesus, you finer than the (indistinct).
(everyone laughs)
Johnny, you didn't tell me she was this fine!
- (chuckling) Ooohh, I do believe I like you.
(chuckling) - Um, um, um.
- Mess around and make me fall in love.
- Wait, wait, fine, love?
I just throwed up in my mouth a little bit.
- Yes Lord, yes Lord.
(chuckling) Heyyy (chuckling)!
- Yeah, see, see, see, um hm. Mission accomplished!
Now, who's the matchmaker now huh (laughs)!?
- You need to be ashamed of yoself.
- Baby, I give it six months, she goin' be out of my house.
Muah! - Stop it.
- All right, everybody, let's eat.
(upbeat music plays)
(family chatting)
- Dad, can you please do the honors of saying the blessings
over my birthday dinner?
- Of course I will, you know, I've got to get my prayer on
at least two, three times a year (chuckling).
Ahh, yeah, okay.
Dear God...
thank you for this grub,
we bouts to receive and...
Amen!
- Amen!
- Amen. - Pass me the greens
and the big piece of chicken,
that's mine (laughing)!
Happy Birthday, baby.
- You know Jonas, you still handsome (chuckles).
My daughter's still askin' about you.
- Um.
- Hell, he had all the girls runnin' after him!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, heyyy!
He's just like his daddy on that one (laughing)!
- ♪ The devil is a liar. He ain't even yours. Baaa. ♪
(family members chuckle)
- Hand me that chicken right there.
- Auntie...
so Lisa, I heard through the grapevine
that you are a partner at a pretty big law firm
out there in New York.
- Well, actually I own my (indistinct),
- (laughing).
but yes, I've had it for a few years now.
(family members speak at once)
- Really? Well, Congratulations on that.
- Thank you.
- Starting a business can be pretty rough, huh?
I mean most businesses fail within like the first year.
- I've done fairly well.
- (chuckles)
Most of my clients are white collar millionaires.
- Yessss! - Outstanding!
(family members chatting at once)
- Well, I am proud of you
and I wondered what you were doin after all these years.
- (chuckles).
- Well Jay and I started our own clothing line.
We broke a little over even this year, small profit,
but we're on our way.
- Right.
- Heffer, ain't nobody talkin' to you.
- Hmm.
- They tryin' to catch up and there you go dippin' in.
(in funny voice) Small profits, but we're on our way.
Heffer, let them catch up! Dang!
- Good Lord.
- Look, y'all thought it, I just said it.
(some family members agree in unison)
- Listen, listen, Jasmine handles my financials,
so that's why she's (indistinct).
- Figures...
She's a gold digger. - (chuckling).
- Lisa, honey, I'm so proud of you.
Jonas and Jasmine too.
- Thank you, mom.
- So Jay...
- (hesitantly) Yes, Aunt B?
- Why did you bring her here?
Yeah, why? I mean, you don't love her.
She's a pretty girl and all of that,
but look here, you and Lisa, y'all got history.
- (laughs).
- This is temporary, five years are goin' pass,
you're goin' be lookin' for Lisa and it's goin' be too late!
I'm just saying, hmm? What? What uh huh.
Y'all know y'all thought it, I just said it.
You know what, as a matter of fact,
let's get it all out there on the table,
that's what we goin' do.
Let's get it all out on the table, right here, right now!
- Not on your sister's birthday Hamhock!
- Listen, somethin' wrong? We not good enough?
Me and your mama?
- Hold, stop, Auntie, hold it.
What are you talking about right now?
- Listen, every time you bring a woman in this house,
she don't never look like me and Flo, I'm tellin' ya now!
if she ain't white, I'm tellin' you, if she's a black girl,
- Barbara don't!
- Um, I'm just sayin'.
- Color has never been an issue in this house
and definitely not colorism.
Honey, I taught my boys that love is colorblind.
- Listen Flo, that's yo son, you goin' support him,
you goin' let him slide wit everything,
but I'm gonna say it, because see you love him, Flo,
I love him too, but I'm goin' tell him the truth.
- Let her get it out!
- Is this what fame does, huh?
- She goin' say what she want anyway.
- Is this what fame does? Is this what fame does?
Get you so far away from your roots?
Get you somebody that look like me or your mama
and not some barbie, 'cause you sure as hell ain't Ken.
- At least get someone look like your mother.
At least your mama.
- Whoa pops, come on, what you talkin' bout man?
Come on, it's not even like that.
- No, so what is the like?
I mean, no disrespect to you baby,
but (chuckles) he can do better.
- No disrespect,
just cause you, - Just because of what?
- Just, 'cause you say "No disrespect" at the end
of your insults, doesn't make it any less disrespectful.
- See, this what I'm talkin' about.
Get rid of her. (some family members chuckle)
Get rid of her nephew!
- Dad do something.
- What you want me to do?
I tried to tell you!
Besides this, this better than "Iyanla fix your life."
(laughing).
- You know what!?
- What!? - Let it go, just let it go,
just let it go, leave it alone.
- No! I wanna address what your aunt just said.
- Hey stop,
stop, stop, stop, let it go.
- No!
- Goin' and let her! Yeah, address me.
- That's what's wrong wit' you people.
- Wait. You people. Did she say "You people?"
- See, see, see, look, I said leave it alone, right?
Just sit down Jas.
Jasmine! Sit down now.
- [Barbara] (chuckling) - Now!
- Whoo hoooo, yes!
And you're just goin' let him shut you up,
and sit you down like that, huh?
Let me let you understand somethin' real good, honey.
Jay was raised to respect women
- Um hmm.
- Women! All right, but listen here
and had he talked to one of us like that?
Lord have mercy on his soul.
- Ain't that the truth?
- Exactly, exactly what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm saying?
This is why, that I will never be with a woman like,
you know what?
- Say it.
- No, no, no, no, it's okay, no, no, no.
- No, say it.
- It's pointless, just... - No, I want you to finally
say it so we can know who you really are!
- THIS WHY I DON'T COME HOME, AUNTIE!
'Cause you're embarrassing, look what you doing!
(slams table) - Now, I said it!
- Now, wait a minute, huh?
I got to draw the line right there!
Boy, you watch how you talk to your aunt.
- You respect your elders, boy.
- Now, I don't like her either.
She's got real bad gas
and she's chases all the neighborhood pets away, I know.
And those claws that she calls nails,
scraping up my hardwood floor.
These was new hardwood floors, but she is your aunt.
She practically raised you as her own.
- That's right.
- Apologize, to her.
Apologize, to her.
I said apologize!
- I'm sorry, Auntie Barbara.
I shouldn't have talked to you like that.
- Right, you was wrong.
Let you slide this time, Jonas.
The next time you won't even see it coming.
- Oh boy.
- It'd be like a Sunday afternoon game.
Come in like a line backer and knock you on your...
aspirin out. You got an aspirin, Flo.
- I need a cigarette.
- Wait, wait, you got some weed?
- Charlie, what is wrong wit you?
Charlie, what is... - I got them cataracts in
my eyes!
- Wait, wait, now. We don't puff puff
the magic dragon in this house.
You gonna have to take that mess out back,
where your aunt buries all her bones.
- You know what? I've had enough. You, people are crazy.
(everyone speaks at once)
- Jasmine, Jasmine, where you goin'?
- I need to be alone.
- (chuckles), bye.
Ain't nobody goin miss her.
- You know what?
I'm outta here too, you know what?
I am tired of everything being about you Jonas!
Here it is mom's birthday
and somehow all the focus is on you.
I bet you don't even know,
this party is also for mom being in remission from cancer.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Mom, you had cancer?
- That's right, mom had cancer
and they didn't wanna tell you
and worry you during your little football season.
- Ma, come on, had I had known,
then I would've been here. - Known what? You still
wouldn't have been here!
When does the superstar have time for us!?
Huh? Nah, while you've been off bein' a superstar,
I've been here being a son.
You know who's name Nate called?
Yours, but that's all goin' to change, you know what?
I can't take it, mom, I'm sorry we ruined your birthday.
I'm out.
- Don't leave. - Come on D, don't...
- Derek, Derek, Derek!
I'll get him.
- All I wanted, was to have family come together
this weekend for my birthday
and what's it come to?
A hot glorified mess. - Um um, um, um.
- Ma, can we please just talk about this later?
- Oh yeah, we can talk about it,
but right now, this is my birthday dinner
and I am determined to enjoy myself.
- Yes ma'am.
- All right, everybody let's eat.
- All right.
(R&B music plays)
- [Johnny] Hey Derek!
(Barbara and Lisa talking)
- It's just like the men to disappear,
I'm telling ya now, when it's time
for the domestic work to be done.
- The meal was delicious, thank you.
- Yeah it was good. - (chuckling).
- Anyone for some coffee?
- Oh, I'll take a cup, thank you so much.
- Ooohhh, no honey, you know coffee don't agree wit' me.
It just keeps me up and gives me gas.
Y'all know what happened last time to you, don't you?
- Um hm. - (chuckling).
- Killed all the house plants too.
- Ooohhh (laughing)!
So, where did everyone else go?
- They all went to go find Derek, baby.
I'm just so worried about my baby.
- Yeah, you know he's at that age.
Tryin' to figure it out (indistinct) isn't easy.
- You know, you that same sweet girl
they left here years ago.
- Awwww. - Yes, you are.
Yes, you are. - In some ways I am,
but a lot has happened since college.
- Um - I know.
- We see that.
You all woman now. - (laughing).
- Whhoooo, girl, you got to tell us,
you got to tell us about them gorgeous New York men.
Ooohhh, I know you got some stories to tell.
Child, I got to live vicariously through you.
You know since my husband died,
I ain't been gettin' no action
and you know, Flo.
She ain't got no story that lasts longer than two minutes.
- Shut up. - (chuckling).
- It's the truth.
(all laughing)
- Auntie, there hasn't been anyone.
- Nobody?
- No, since college, no, I work all the time,
so there's no wild stories to tell.
- Okay, not even a little one night stand here, there huh?
- (chuckling) No.
- Oh, what about a little bump and grind?
Huh? I don't see nothin' wrong
wit' a little bump and grind, huh!
That keeps ya focused baby.
- No one.
- Oh, I just assumed somebody was tearin' that up.
- Huh?
You know when a woman ain't gettin' none, I'm telling you,
she be mean, and cankerous like, like me.
- But you sweet as pie baby.
(everyone laughs)
- Yes you are, yes you are.
- Like many of my friends, I'm not into casual sex.
I connect sex with being with the person I love
and wanna spend the rest of my life with,
- Hmmm.
- but I wanna get married.
- Amen baby, do it God's way.
- That's beautiful, but tomorrow ain't promised to you baby.
You better get you some, hmmm?
Um hmm, yes. Get it while it's moist.
- Ummm. - Yeah, 'cause when time
will pass baby and you'd be dryer than the Sahara desert.
(all laugh) - I'm telling you somethin',
I'm talkin' from experience honey, the struggle is real.
- (laughs)
- Auntie, I'll (indistinct)
- It's real. - I see.
- Yes.
- (chuckling) Get it baby.
- [Johnny] DEREK!?
DEREK!?
- Baby listen, you know, I try not to pry
and I tried to stay out of you and Jonas' business,
- Until now, hell.
- Baby, what happened between you and Jonas?
He doesn't talk about it.
- My heart was broken.
- Um.
- It's like a whirlwind of emotions just came rushing back.
Feelings that I thought were gone.
- Where you think you goin'?
- Nowhere, man. I'm here.
- Punkin' out?
- Nah, let's go.
- All right, follow me.
- Let's do this!
- But baby, you held it together.
- Um hm.
- Um hm, yes you did, 'cause I would've slapped the taste
out of Jasmine's mouth, I mean that, yes, I would've.
- It wasn't easy. - I believe you.
- After all these years I can't believe I still love him.
- Ha! (clapping) I knew it, I knew it! Um um um.
- If falling out of love is so hard,
why is that? Like, how do you turn love off?
- You can't! - You can't turn that off,
baby.
And it seem like you ain't ready to just move on, are you?
But you got to tell us what happened.
- Things changed. You know, when we went to college,
the us became about him.
- Um.
- Then there was a popularity and the girls.
Long story short. I caught him with a girl in his room.
- NO! And you didn't call me?
Came up there and set it off, you know that?
- Baby, I didn't know he cheated on you,
honey I raised him better than that.
- Yes.
- Yeah, you know, I just, that day I ran back to the dorm,
I packed my things, I left that night.
I transferred to another college, I never looked back.
- Um, um, um.
- Seems to me that you two have some unresolved issues,
but if you two still have feelings,
maybe things can work out.
- Nah Flo, now I love Jonas like my own son,
but he was wrong, what he did was wrong baby
and who's to say he wouldn't do it again.
Men, money, and power, I'm telling you,
that's a dangerous combination.
It is for you know, God forgives.
- Ohhhh, here we go!
♪ Ohhhh Bible Study, Bible study 101, ♪
♪ please turn to your neighbor. ♪
- Stop. - (laughing).
- What you want us to say, Flo?
What you want to say, always takin' us to church.
- Look, all I'm tryin' to say - What?
- Is that people learn from their mistakes,
love takes time, love is a test
and it's heartbreak and forgiveness.
- Um hm, um hm.
- Finally goin' be one of us now, homie.
- Make it official.
- Man, he ain't ready.
- Hit that real quick. - Yo, you scared?
(inhales weed)
- Man, you got baby lungs. - Yeah (indistinct).
- Baby, you got to seize the moment.
Sometimes you only get one chance.
I remember when I was dating this other young man,
and Johnny had eyes for me,
everybody in my family loved this young man,
because he was perfect. - Yes!
- Good family and marked for success.
- Um hm, Kevin, um hm, I liked him. I wanted him.
Oh yeah, I did. Who didn't (chuckles).
- Then there was Johnny.
Johnny was from the poor side of town,
didn't have much to offer.
Ooohhhh, sugar wugar, baby, darling, dear!
(chuckles) - Um.
Johnny made me feel so special.
I loved him before I even knew I did.
- What do you mean by that?
- See, one day I heard that Johnny was leaving town
and I didn't know if I'd ever see him again
or if he'd ever come back.
- Um.
- But I knew that if I didn't seize the moment,
I'd lose out on my once in a lifetime love.
Baby, that's the day, I told him I loved him.
- That is a beautiful story Mom Johnson.
- Thank you baby.
Gives me goosebumps, ooohhhh,
pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop!
(all chuckles)
- (yawning) Oh, excuse me.
I'm getting a little restless.
I'm gonna go ahead and head to my parent's house
and get some rest.
- No baby, stay right here. - Yes.
- Got plenty of space.
- But what about Jonas?
- They're at a hotel. I got clothes for you,
stay here with us.
- Oh.
- Stay here.
I tell you what we gotta do though.
We got to get outta here.
Gotta go to Wally World,
they gotta sale like nobody's business.
I need to get some girdles and everything.
(all laughs)
- Well, I have you blocked in,
so you're more than welcome to take my car.
- Ohhhh, now that's real good of ya,
they acts a fool over there, you know when they say...
this is a holiday, you know how the holiday sales are.
Girl, I may pick me up, I mean a real good spanks
- I'll take that baby.
- Have you noticed I lost some weight?
- I have, you look gorgeous.
- Thank you. (all laughing)
- I got two more bowels to move.
- Well, you sapsuckers get on in here. Get the losin'.
Get the losin' started. Get on over here. Get to it!
Whooo...
Jasmine okay?
- Yeah, she's at a girl's house, so I'll,
she'll be back later on tonight.
- I'm glad she's okay.
- Yeah, well, I see Lisa's car's gone,
is mom and auntie still here?
- Well your mama went shoppin'
and I don't smell Bengay around the house,
so your aunt must be wit' her.
(laughing)
- Look here, we goin' play some cards or what?
- Yes and we'll wait for Derek while we play.
- Yeah, when Chris gets here, we'll get started.
- Chris!? Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I ain't seen him in a month of Sundays.
That boy was so jealous of you.
- Who Chris? Nah pops, come on man.
- Yeah, well, how is he? Better yet, how's his breath?
(all laughs)
Charlie, this boy breath was so bad,
it's like he walked in wit a stranger
and sat him down next to you (chuckles).
You're like, "(sniff) Ooohh Lord, who is this?"
- Crazy, you know that right? - Yeah.
- Chris is good, lives up in the Hills right now,
- All yeah.
- it's good.
- In the Hills with the rich folk. Yeah.
He still acting stuck up?
- Stuck up? Chris?
- He act like a white woman in the suburbs raised him.
- Matter of fact, my boy's here right now,
what's up big dog? - What's up brother?
Hey man, hey Mr. Johnson! Haven't seen you in a while.
- Well, you see this.
I see you grown into that big old head of yours (chuckles).
Boy, I used to feel sorry for yo neck.
It was like any minute (rope breaking sound) (chuckles).
- Already goin' in man, he ain't changed.
- Hey man, I'm cool, I got to get thick skin.
- Get this Spades goin' now.
- Look here, you ain't said nothin' but a word,
now I'm ready to put in a whooping on all y'all.
We playing for money, right?
'Cause look here.
I am ready to double my social security check (laughing)!
It ain't everyday, I get to play with a rich NFL` player.
- So, that's what it's about unc?
You tryin to empty my pockets, man?
- Hell yes! Now, let's get it (laughing)!
- Empty the trash, ahhhh (chuckles) um.
All right, come on, deal 'em.
- Wait, wait, wait, you ain't gonna answer her texts?
- Nope. Don't matter.
She goin' call regardless, five, four, three, two.
(phone buzzes)
Hello?
Yes, Flo.
I sure will.
Upstairs? Um hm. Trouble? All right. All right bye bye.
Whooo.
- Now how'd you know she was goin' call?
- Simple, I married a black woman (chuckling).
- You need to get one of what I have.
- What is that?
I mean, is that a blow up doll?
- (laughing)
I mean, just seems like you have trouble
gettin' the real thing.
- Nah. Anything other than a black woman.
- Boy, you better get out my house, talkin' that crazy mess!
(laughing) Before I come over this counter.
- Hurry on man!
Come on.
- Let's work.
Man, we ain't got all night, let's go!
Look at him lookin' scared.
- Take it like a man.
- Yeah, that's right.
- You bout to get knocked out!
- Yeah, let's get it. - Yeah, we gone get you now.
- Yeah, you scared? You scared?
- What's good? What's good?
- Hit him, hit him!
- Yeah, you scared?
What you goin' do now?
- Aight, let's get it, come on!
- Get off me!
- Yeah, let's get him! Get him!
- Come on man!
- Aight!
- My lady would've never even thought about interrupting me.
- What you say?
- She would've just taken the trash out herself.
The only interruption, is bringin' me an ice cold beer.
- Now he does have a point there, pops.
Certain women just get it, pops.
Now we men, so we real simple, right?
All we care about is women that can cook,
give us peace of mind and great sex!
(chuckles)
- Speaking of which, they really know how...
- Wait, stop right there (laughing),
I'm not goin' sit here and listen to this.
You ain't never been with a black woman to compare!
- Man, I have!
- You have? - I have.
- He hasn't, 'cause everybody knows
that a sister puts it down, all right (chuckling)?
And that's why your mama got the championship ring.
I told you bout her! - Sho nuff.
On our wedding night, you hear me?
Yo mother backed that thing up on me like,
(brrrp)(brrrp)(brrrp) had me singing
♪ My, my, my, my, my... ♪ - And you goin' chime in unc?
Come on pops, stop.
- That's how good ya mama made me feel.
I'm talkin' about your mama, boy.
- I know you talkin' about her
and that's why I want you to stop.
'Cause look pops, times have changed, right?
People have evolved since your ancient era.
- No, no, son.
The problem is young people today,
believe whatever the media tells them.
The media lies to us son.
The media, they lie to us every day to try to get us
to do what they want us to do.
Like puppets.
We see it, we believe it. Don't follow the crowd boys.
- AYE!
This yo boy, you go first!
- What's up!?
- Yeah! Let's go!
(gang proceeds to jump Derek in)
- That's enough.
(gang talking at once)
- Come on, I got you, man.
Come on.
- Okay, I hear you. Case and point,
Jonas, remember the type of car
I drove in college? - Yeah, little hoopty, Chevy
hatchback, yeah. - (laughing),
yeah that.
Anyway, I was tryin to holla at the sistas.
They didn't wanna talk to me,
because the type of car I drove.
- Wait a minute, wait, wait, how'd you get your head,
yo big old head in that little bitty car?
- (laughing). - Better yet, how'd you get
another brother
in the car wit' you? - (laughing).
- Wasn't no room in the car, Charlie!
- Any way, I didn't have a lot of money back then.
I couldn't afford to take 'em places
and buy 'em expensive things
and they was always sayin' stuff like you talk too white
or relax, you walk too stiff.
- You do.
- Okay, okay, but look,
I was never black enough for the sistas.
So, guess what?
I stopped comin' their way.
- Yeah, yeah, get it all out, yeah.
Is that it?
- I don't know Johnny, the boy kind of preachin'.
Shut up Charlie!
- But, let me tell you when my life changed.
When I started datin' other races.
They didn't ridicule me for not having money.
In fact, they saw what I could become,
- What you could become?
- but when a brother made a come up,
started driving that Bentley,
all the sistas wanted one.
I'm like, "Oh, now you wanna holla at a brotha."
It's too late!
I started throwing up my own stop sign.
- Boy, sit yo $5 butt down! - (laughing).
- Boy, I'll make change on you.
- Okay! - (laughing).
- Yeah boy, you are suffering from Black Dateless Syndrome,
that's all that is (chuckles).
- Look here, my office hours are nine to five.
- (laughing) Maybe his shirt's too tight, Charlie.
- (laughing).
- Boy I swear, does it snap in the middle, like a leotard?
- Yeah, I think I saw one of his balls
hanging off to the side too.
- Ugh (laughing).
Ugh, ugh! - (laughing).
- Man, don't worry about it. - (laughing).
- What you laughin' at? With that goat shirt on.
Mariachi or somethin' like that (indistinct).
- Well, my sponsor pays me to wear this shirt,
so it don't matter, sir.
- Anyway, I'm tellin' you, black love,
good black love still exists.
- Um hm.
- And look here, no woman is perfect
and there's good and bad in every race,
but the problem with you young fellas is,
y'all's too busy following the trends!
You need to get with a woman that's good for you,
no matter what her race is.
- See your mother, I tell ya, man, she was with me
when I didn't have two nickels to rub together.
I couldn't even afford to buy her a wedding ring.
I take it in a string and I tied it around her finger,
promised to buy her diamond ring someday.
Your mother wore that string around her finger
proud all that time and never cared about
what anybody had to say about it.
- Wait, wait, wait, pops, this story true?
- Huh? - Huh? Is it true?
- You mean...
Nah, nah, it wasn't true.
- Johnny, man dang! - Come on pops, man!
- You know what I'm saying?
The point, listen to what I'm sayin'!
The point is...
your mother is a good woman!
- Um hmm, Flo's a good woman and she thick too.
- Hey, watch your mouth.
Hey, that's enough about my wife's onion, all right?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Now, at the end of the day, your mother,
she holds me down and at the end of the day,
that's what every man needs.
- Um hmm.
And you know, for years, black women
have been gettin' a bad rap for bein' strong,
- Um.
- but most people fail to realize why they needed to.
- Educate these youngsters, Charlie.
- Um hmm, well look here, they raisin' sons with no father.
- Yes.
- We got 2 million imprisoned black men
and most with no fathers.
- That's right, Jay, you always tryin' to get me
to move out of this neighborhood.
These young boys need us, but I'll make you a deal.
You build that community center,
you start those programs and I'll entertain your offer
to buy me a house.
- Okay, that's a deal, pops.
- All right.
- Hold up!
How did we get on this topic?
- You, knucklehead (laughing)!
- You know what? You two failed to mention
the two most important things in a relationship.
- Talk about it, Charlie. - And that's love and respect.
- Yes, sir.
Now for a woman's got those two things,
oohh Lord, she'll do anything to you.
- Charlie, you mean anything for you, right?
- Yeah, that's what I meant.
- Yes. - (chuckling).
- Now Jonas, look here.
I saw how you was lookin' at Lisa earlier.
- Yeah, yeah, I had to keep my eye on Jesus
when she walked in.
- Whhoooo, oooohhhh, ooohhh,
little sweet tenderoni (laughing)!
- Yeah, she's still lookin' good, man,
but look, she left me. I mean just disappeared.
- Well, what did you do?
- Pops to this day I have no idea, man.
- Wait, am I missing something?
Lisa's in town?
- Yeah and she looks amazing man
and the cold part about it,
I couldn't even hide it from Jasmine.
- Sounds like y'all got unfinished business.
- (chuckles) Yep, you still love Lisa?
- Why would he go back to Lisa? Remember she left him.
- All right, y'all ain't tryin' to play no cards.
Listen, I'm startin' to feel like Dr. Phil.
I'm goin' to bed
and Derek better get his butt in this house.
- Wait, now I still need to deduct
my social security check now!
- I know you're not seriously considering this.
- Aye man, I owe it to myself to see what happened
between us and if they're still something between us.
- No man, she had a chance bro, a woman like Lisa,
she doesn't deserve men like us.
- Hold on, why do you care who I'm with?
- Come on Jay, man,
I just don't wanna see you get hurt.
- I respect that
- Yo Jay, what happened to D, man?
- Ayo pops! Pops!
- What happened Jay?
- Derek, what happened to my son!?
I'm not gonna ask you again,
what happened to my son!?
- It was a gang initiation!
- Got you lil bro. - Come on Flo, answer the
phone.
Answer the phone!
- Yo Chris, need you to hold the spot down for me, man.
- I got you.
- Anybody call, we at the Bayview Hospital.
- Somethin' bad happened to Derek!
Meet us at the at the Bayview Hospital!
- You're goin' be all right, dog.
- Oh man, this place...
- Mama Johnson is that you?
Who's there?
- It's Chris.
Lisa!? Is that you?
- Chris? What are you doing here?
- I can ask you the same.
- I was upstairs taking a nap when I heard noises.
I wasn't expecting to see you here.
- I bet you weren't,
I reached out to you a few times, but...
- Where is everyone?
- You mean Jay, Jasmine (indistinct) for something,
but everyone else, I'm not sure.
- Okay, it's gettin' late, I'ma go turn it in for the night.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
You don't gotta be so quick to leave.
Why don't you stay and you know,
keep me company til everyone returns?
- Why Chris? Remember? I was never good enough for Jonas.
- Hmm.
You remembered that. We were kids,
let's leave the past in the past.
Besides, I was just tryin' to protect you from Jay.
- Derek! Hang in there Derek! We got you man! Hang in there!
Go! Hurry up! Go! Go!
- Go home and wait for your mama,
just in case she doesn't get my message.
- Okay.
- Derek, hold on, son. Hold on now.
Pull up right here in the front, right here in the front!
- And I'm supposed to thank you?
And why the hell you keep sending pictures to my DM's?
'Cause we're not friends!
- I did what I did for you. You a sweet girl.
- What are you doin'?
- Remember, I liked you first, Jay just got in the way.
I guess you like that football star type, huh?
Back then I was just this tall, skinny kid wit' a big head,
but I'm all grown up now.
- Um and clearly I see you've grown into your big ego too.
- And a bank account to match it.
I see the way you be lookin' at me.
- I'm looking? Nah, see you got it all..
- Wrong? I don't think so.
This is a time for us to finally be together.
I don't see what you saw in Jay, anyway.
- What? Be together, nah Chris, see now you trippin.
- Look, I was the one deserving of you, not Jay.
Everything was given to him and he never appreciated it.
- I've never felt that way about you.
It's always been about Jonas, never about you.
- Jonas, Jonas, Jonas. I'm so tired of that name.
- Leave now and maybe I won't tell him
what his supposedly best friend said.
- FORGET JAY! You know you want this!
- What!?
Chris, no!
- Lord, I'm so glad I charged up my phone,
I would've never gotten that message from Johnny!
Oh God (panicking)!
- [Passenger] Now, I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord
my soul to keep.
Lord, (indistinct)!
- I'll take what I want,
rather you wanna give it to me or not.
Go ahead, go ahead. Beg for it.
- Chris stop!
- Go ahead, beg for it.
- You trippin'. - I'll like it even more.
- Get off of me! - I can't stand women
like you!
Think you're too good for a brother!
- Chris, think about what you're doing,
you're making a big mistake.
Someone can walk in here, anyone.
- SO!!
No one's gonna believe you! It's my word, against yours!
- Chris stop!
Chris stop it, what are you doing?
- Hey man! The hell's goin' on in here!?
- He tried to rape me!
- Tried to rape you? What's wrong wit' you!
- Man, ain't nobody try to rape that girl!
- Time for you to leave, Chris.
- So it's like that, man?
You just gonna believe her? - Hey hey! One thing I know
about Lisa, she ain't a liar, dude!
- So, it's like that? - Yeah, it's like that.
All this damn time, you've been tryin' to make me
stray away from Lisa, huh?
Tryin' to block what God has had for me
this whole time, right?
- You know what you know? You know I loved her first.
- Huh?
- All through high school and college.
Man, you had the best girls, the nicest cars,
everything came so easy to Jonas.
I was just 'posed to sit around
and get yo sloppy seconds,
but you know what, man, she ain't all that anyway.
- Okay, leave now before I call the police!
- All right (chuckling).
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, (indistinct).
- Aye (chuckling), before I go,
you ever wonder why Lisa broke up with you?
I would know, because I set it all up.
- Chris, what are you doing? Don't do this.
- (laughing). - What are you talking about?
- Nothing Chris, please. - Sweet Jasmine, glad you
could make it, aye, we're all here
and they need to know.
- He doesn't need to know.
- I don't need to know what Jasmine?
- Nothing, Chris, please... - Get!
- No. - What!?
You like stories? I got a doozy for you, bro.
- Yeah, okay.
- Once upon a time,
I paid a girl to be in your apartment naked,
then I called Lisa, and I told Lisa to come to your room
and when Lisa got there, sweet Jasmine was there.
She answered the door butt ass naked (chuckling).
- Jasmine!?
- So, that's where I know you from?
- (chuckling) Just a little confession
before we part ways, brother.
- No, he's not worth it! he's not worth it
- Jonas, I'm sorry you had to find out like this.
You supposed to be my man, huh?
How are y'all goin' do this to me?
After all I did for you and you, huh!?
- Jasmine ain't nothing but a gold digger.
As for me, I got tired of seeing everything go your way.
Then you not giving a damn about no one, but yoself.
- Jonas, I was that person back then, but I'm different now.
I do love you. - (laughing)
- I do. - Love, love.
Is that the same love
that just had you in my bed earlier tonight?
- You know you've been bribing me since college.
Jonas, I do love you.
- Look, - I do.
- Has he told you that he lost his $40 million contract
when he hurt himself?
Hey, still love him?
I bet you ain't even told your family, did you?
(clapping) The great Jonas Johnson.
How does it feel to be tossed aside?
- Feels like I'm the same
and you'll never be like me on your best day.
So, on my mama, you better get outta here dude!
- (chuckles) All right, I'll leave, but hey, before I go.
I told you I've been with a black woman.
- I'm sorry.
- Let's GO!
- Goodbye Jasmine.
No, no, no, no, no, baby, baby, it's over.
They're out of our lives.
They're out of our lives, all right?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, but how are you?
All right, did he hurt you?
- No, I'm fine. - Huh?
- Go slow.
- You okay little man?
- I'm a G.
- Doctor said he'll be fine, just minor cuts and bruises.
- Let me help you.
You a G, huh?
- Easy now, easy.
I got you, all right.
- You two need to talk.
Now I've had my say in the matter.
- Yes ma'am.
- Lisa a lot's been goin' on tonight, baby I'll fill you in.
Are you still stayin' with us?
- Yes ma'am, I completely understand.
I'll leave you all to talk, okay?
Have a good night.
- Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Son, I meant what I said.
I love you, son.
- I love you too pops.
- Hey pops, what about that three second rule?
- That rule no longer applies to either of my boys,
come here, now.
Flo, I've got something that I need to go and handle.
- Johnny...
- But, I will be back shortly.
Goodnight everybody. - Johnny, please, please,
be careful.
- Hey I'm goin' wit' you pops. - Oh my God.
- Goodnight fellas. - All right now.
- Oh God, please.
Jesus, please, please. - Ay pops, can you change
your shirt?
Can't go in the hood with this shirt on.
- Flo, it's goin' be all right Flo.
Flo, it's goin' be all right. - Oh God, oh God, oh God.
- Derek, you need anything, baby?
- No, Auntie, I'm fine.
- Are you sure there? Looka there. Jesus.
- I'm gonna go to bed, actually.
- Baby, you got to be more careful, look here.
- I got it, I got it.
- You good? Um.
- Sure you're okay?
- I am Charlie.
- Let me help him a little bit.
Lord baby, obviously...
- You guys have a good night.
- Get some rest now, go ahead, go in your room.
Don't come back down. Jesus, um, um, um, um. I tell ya.
Charlie, come on.
(whispering) Come on up here.
- Oh yeah, it's gettin' late!
- Yes it is, it's gettin very late.
- I better go too.
- You call, go ahead now.
Go ahead Charlie, I'll see you tomorrow.
- See y'all later.
- Come on Charlie, shhhh, come on. Be quiet, shhhh.
Get you some (indistinct).
(Hip hop music begins)
(knock on door)
- Door like this?
- Man, what the... - Who's this?
(knock on door)
- Who is that?
- Stand down.
What's up wit you two? We cool?
- That's yet to be determined,
- I think you know why we're here, right?
Y'all jumped my little brother.
- (laughing)
- Oh, that's funny to you, huh?
- Well, if it ain't Mr. NFL himself.
You two got some heart comin' in here.
I could blow your brains out right here!
- Boy, you don't scare me.
Now, I know your daddy.
We was boys before he went off to prison
to serve a life sentence.
Now, you can shoot me, but what is that going to accomplish?
You wanna die in prison like your father?
- (chuckles).
- Now, I know why you're angry, son.
I know why all of you are angry,
but you can't let the sins of your father become yours!
- Don't come in here actin' like you understand us
or better than us, especially you Mr. NFL!
I should just blow your head off!
You don't care nothin' about us.
You donate some tennis shoes around Christmas.
and you think that makes it right?
- Now, wait a minute, boy, I'm not goin' just let you...
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, it's okay, pops. I got it.
Yeah, you goin' shoot me, Boog? Hmm?
Pull the trigger,
'cause I ain't afraid to die what I believe in.
- What you believe in!? - Yeah.
- And, what you believe in, huh?
- My family...
and you, Boog, yeah and everybody in here
and I believe, we stop killin' each other and work together.
We can make things happen, man. That's what I believe.
- How are we goin' to do that!?
- First by you takin' that gun out by head.
And let's chop it up, I got you.
- We don't need no empty promises.
That's all people ever done is lied to us.
- Ay, it's me, you got my word
and I'ma listen to you.
Now, tell me what we need.
I wanna change this world, let's start wit' our hood.
What we need?
- We'll see, we'll chop it up.
- All right, that's my word.
- All right.
- Aight, let's go pops.
(upbeat music plays)
- Charlie, now I'm not a loose woman,
but I am havin' a loose moment.
- Well, I'm goin' do my best to break yo back!
- Oooohhhh oooohhh ooohhh - (laughing).
- Now my back been broke, years ago!
- So you... - So you...
- come on, sit down, you go first babe.
Just relax.
- Why didn't you come for me?
I know I made it virtually impossible for you to find me,
but I believe that love always finds a way.
- We found each other now, right?
'Cause we're here right now
and if any constellation,
Lisa I thought about you every day.
It was just my foolish pride
that stopped me from coming after you.
- You're engaged to be married.
- Yeah, well, Aunt B was right,
Jasmine never had my heart,
I mean, truth be told no one can ever take your place.
- I don't know if my heart...
risk being broken.
- Mine either.
Lisa I was devastated when you left,
but what remained constant.
Was my love for you.
Woman, I love you more than I ever have.
I'm mature enough now to deal with my feelings,
I wasn't back then.
- I'm scared.
- I know.
(R&B music plays)
- Go from here?
- Let's figure it out another day.
What I need to know...
- I'm (indistinct) (chuckles).
(R&B music plays)
- And what's it come to?
A hot glorified mess.
Son, you hurt me when you said we embarrassed you.
We sacrificed everything so that you could be where you are.
- You did, ma.
- But you don't want nobody that looks like me.
Son, just who am I to you?
- Ma, I wasn't sayin' that about you, ma.
- You don't have to.
Your actions did.
- Good morning, ma.
- Morning son, you're up mighty early.
- I wanna apologize
for not being here
and the way I treated you throughout the years.
Ma, look at me.
Ma.
I wish you would've told me you was sick.
- I didn't wanna worry you, son.
- She reminded me of you.
- Who are you talkin' about?
- A long time ago,
I did choose a woman just like you,
Lisa, but she hurt me, ma.
Yeah, Lisa
has every quality I love about you.
- I knew she is a good woman.
- So it wasn't you, it was Lisa.
(indistinct), you, reminded me of everything about Lisa
that was familiar to us
and that hurt.
That's why I didn't stay.
But I never meant to hurt you.
- I know, son.
I want you to know I'm proud of you.
My baby is back.
- (chuckles) Yes I am.
Yes I am.
You, I love you. - I love you too, baby.
- You still the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
- I know (chuckling).
So come on, help me make these pancakes
like we did back in the day.
- Sure, if only you're making your famous
blueberry pancakes.
- You better know it honey, that's you and Derek's favorite.
- Yeah.
- All right? - All right.
- Start off with some flour and sugar and baking powder.
- Woman, don't start nothin'!
Only brought one pill with me.
- (whispering) Oh, I got a stash (indistinct).
- What? - (chuckling).
- Shhhh.
(whispering)
- (clears throat)
- Heyyyy! Charlie! - Hey!
Hey, look at Charlie, Charlie, hey,
you just came here, just today.
- Uh huh. - Look at Charlie stoppin in
today.
So early to visit us, look at Charlie.
- You up early.
I just came by to, you know, take Barb to breakfast.
- Ohhhh.
So, Barb, Barbara, - Huh?
- So you're going to breakfast in your pajamas?
- Yeah, uh huh, of course, you ain't heard of the new place
called the Pajama House?
- The Pajama House?
- Yeah, uh huh and nephew look,
you can come and just eat your pajamas,
eat your breakfast, yeah.
- Um hmm. - Yeah.
- Sho can. - Yup.
Well, church ain't the only place
where you can just come as you are.
Okay? - Yeah.
- Okay, I see.
Well Charlie, why don't you just stay for breakfast?
Pancakes...
- Sounds good to me!
I'm stayin'.
(laughter at once)
- All right, come on, let's eat.
- Whew.
- ♪ Self a Merry little Christmas, let your heart be... ♪
- Charlie!?
You left yo glasses in the bathroom last night.
Now, how in the world did you drive home
without these glasses?
You got cataracts Charlie.
- It was hard, but I made it.
(all chuckles)
- Uh huh, uh huh.
- Good morning everyone!
- Good morning!
- Hey baby.
- Mr. Charlie, I apologize,
but my rental blocked you in last night.
- Yeah.
- Hmmm, um!
- All right, all right.
He slept with me last night in my room.
Look, we grown, shoot.
- Girl, we just messin' with you.
I looked in on you last night and saw him sleeping
on the couch.
- But I'll bet you he got in that bed
later on (laughing).
You know I did.
(laughter at once)
- Hey baby.
- Hey babe.
- Good morning Jonas.
- I have an early flight to catch.
- Ah, I didn't know you were leavin' this soon.
- I know, I forgot to mention it last night,
but one of my clients has an emergency.
- Aight.
- Seems that a lot happened last night.
You care to share.
- It's a long story pop...
- Did we miss somethin'?
- Let's just say, we seized the moment.
- Oooohhh baby, you go 'head and help yoself (laughing)!
- Um hmm, that's beautiful son.
- I told you, I told you, I told you (laughing).
- (indistinct).
Thank you pops.
- Lisa, can you stay a little while longer baby?
Yeah, baby don't go so soon, we not through celebratin'.
- Me either.
(laughter at once)
We just got you back.
- I know, but I promised I'd be back before New Year's Eve.
Are you okay?
- No, 'cause I can't bear the thought
of being without you again.
That hurt.
Too many years have gone by without me seeing your
pretty smile, pretty two brown eyes.
- (chuckling).
- Look, I don't wanna lose you again.
- You won't, I promise.
You can do one-
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Just tryin' to work on my nerves, just...
- That's what's up, bro! Yeahhhh, boy!
- Come on...
y'all stop, please.
Okay.
- What are you doing?
- Somethin' I should've done a long time ago.
Okay, look, I let you get away from me once.
I can't let that happen again.
Every time I look at you,
I'm reminded how much God loves me.
He brought you back to me.
- I believe so.
- I want you wit' me all the time.
Lisa, I've never loved anything as much as I love you now.
Now look, I don't have a ring.
- Wait, wait, wait.
We can fix that.
- Ooohhhh. - Babe, where is it?
- Hold on, son.
Hold on, son.
This is for you.
This is the string ring I gave your mother.
- So the story is true, pops?
- Yes, I just didn't wanna look like a punk
at the card game (laughing).
- That's deep, pops.
Thank you,
- Lisa Marie (indistinct), will you do the honor
of spendin' the rest of your life wit' me and be my wife?
- On one condition.
- On one condition?
- Promise that we'll always keep God the center of us.
- I promise, God will always be the center.
- Yes, Jonas Johnson, I will marry you!
(family celebrates)
- Congratulations boy!
(muah) (chuckling) Smells like Infamil.
(family watches in awe and excitement)
- That's what's up, bro!
- Get a room.
(clapping)
- You know what? Should we tell 'em?
- Tell us what Charlie?
- Well, you know, since everybody's sharing
and love is in the air.
I figured, I wanna share somethin' too.
- (chuckles) Help me up baby.
- Come on, baby.
Jesus Christ.
- (indistinct) three should do it.
- That took all day.
What is it that you wanna tell us, Charlie!?
- Well, you know, Barb and I,
we figure we at that age with now, where you know,
why wait? Barb and I, we gettin' married on New Year's Eve.
(clapping) We want y'all to be there.
- All right, big dog.
- Thank you, thank you.
- (chuckling) Hopefully, I don't kill this one.
Y'all know I'm kiddin', he's a keeper.
- (indistinct).
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Yes! This is it.
She's finally moving!
No more wet wigs in the bathroom. No more bad breath jokes.
No more aroma of Bengay throughout this house.
She's finally moving out, Flo, who's the matchmaker now?
Huh? - (laughing).
- The wicked witch of the west is finally gone.
She's finally movin' out. This right here,
is a perfect moment for a praise break!
Come on! (gospel music begins)
- Go 'head pops, go 'head.
- Hey, heyyy! HEY!!!
Who's the matchmaker now, Flo?
- Awww, what are you talkin' about Bubblehead?
- Talkin' about you gettin' out of my house.
- I ain't going nowhere.
- (chuckles) We ain't going nowhere.
- Right.
- What are you talking about Charlie,
of course you leavin'.
You're gettin' out, right?
- Nope! I'm selling my house and we goin' put an addition
right here on this here house, right here.
- Yes, we are.
- We here to stay.
- (chuckling) Yeah. - We ain't goin' nowhere.
(laughing). - 'Cause my sister Flo told me
if ever I got remarried, I could do that
and guess what I feel, Bubblehead?
- I feel a praise break coming on.
(laughter at once)
(gospel music begins)
- Well, I guess that one backfired (laughing).
- Well, I guess it did, yeah, yeah,
well, at least we now have two social security checks
instead of one. - (laughing).
- Two and two, 'member that? Two and two (laughing).
- Ay well I got some great news,
major call this morning.
They have cleared me to play football next year,
so, but on top of that he re-negotiated my deal,
so I have 40 million for four years.
(family digests info at once)
- Wow, that's good, that's good, that's good.
- So pops, I'll keep my end of the deal
and then by the spring we goin' ground break
for that community center.
- That's great news (chuckling)!
- Nice, that is really nice.
- Son, I knew everything was gonna be all right
and I'm gonna hold up my end of the deal.
I'm gonna put the house up for sale.
- Whhoooo, look at God!
- I think this is the best birthday I ever had!
- Awwww. - Yes, it is!
- And nephew, you can get me that Benz.
Black on black.
- (laughs).
- Well, you know what? I smell bacon,
let's all have some breakfast
and let's get out some of those leftovers, all right?
- All right.
- Let's go. - Let's eat.
- I guess I can finally call one of my associates
and tell him I'm not leaving, I'm staying.
- That's right.
(laughter at once)
- Whooo, Jesus help me up, help me up, sweetheart.
Come on help. - One, two, there
we go.
- Let me gone on in here and help Flo get that stuff out.
- I smell bacon and your aunt ain't sweaty.
- Hey Johnny, let me talk to you for a minute.
Now, look here - Yeah Charlie, what's goin'
on.
- Ain't goin' be too many more jokes
about my woman, you understand?
- Yeah, I understand.
What about disobligements, you think that'll be okay?
- Yeah, I think that's all right.
(both laughing)
(R&B music begins)
- Thank you baby!
Oh my goodness.
Lisa? This is you?
- That's your favorite color.
- That right there, oh my God. - Oh, I love it!!
Oh, it's absolutely beautiful.
(laughing)
Okay, what is this?
(chatting at once)
- You goin' go somewhere special in that.
- Oh, I'ma go to church in this,
this is a church dress right here.
This my color too.
- ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy Birthday my dear sister Florence ♪
♪ Whooo, Happy Birthday to you. ♪
Make a wish sis, come on now!
(clapping)
Dreams come true, look at that.
- You can leave.
- Whatever.
- Roll out! - Whatever.
- Roll out!
- Not on her birthday.
- Are you happy, baby?
- Yes, I am.
- All right.
(chuckling).
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year. ♪
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year. ♪
♪ Good tidings we bring to you and your kin ♪
♪ Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year. ♪
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year. ♪
♪ We want some banana pudding ♪
♪ So bring it right here. ♪
♪ We won't go until we get some ♪
♪ So bring it right here. ♪
♪ Good tidings we bring to you and your kin ♪
♪ Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year. ♪
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year. ♪
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New ♪ ♪ Happy New ♪
♪ Year! ♪
(clapping)
- My prayer was answered.
My son is back with the love of his life
and reconnected with his family.
Sometimes, a mama knows what's best for her children,
especially a praying mama.
Ain't nothin' like family.
(R&B music plays)
- I told you we wasn't goin' nowhere (laughing).
- Well, every dog's got his day.
- And you oughta know (laughs) whooo,
this demon done got out of this house Charlie.
- Yes sir, yes sir (laughing).
- Charlie, I wanna go to the pharmacy.
- Oooohhh, (indistinct) pills (indistinct) (laughing).
- (laughing).
(R&B music plays)
(credits roll)
- Love is definitely in the air.
I guess if you think about it,
I caused all of this marital bliss in the first place.
Yeah, who's the matchmaker?
I am. Stay tuned.
Our story is not finished yet.
(R&B music plays)