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[opening theme music playing]
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[heroic music playing]
[barbecue sizzling]
[sparks crackling]
[grunting]
Oof! Ah!
[roaring]
Haa... yaah!
[groaning] Good one.
[alert blaring]
Tony, what's up?
Hey, Black Widow.
Ah, not much. No big deal,
just someone trying to break into our secret vault.
Anyone wanna help me stop 'em?
Meet you there.
[alert blaring]
Greetings, Avengers!
- Loki? - You really should be more careful.
This not-so-secret vault
was quite easy to find and break into.
What have you stolen, Loki?
Hello, brother.
Stolen? You offend me.
With all the dangerous and rare items
you've locked away in here,
I should think it would be a bit more... secure.
I demand to know what you've taken!
Typical Thor, always rushing to judgment.
Honestly, I don't know how the rest of you Avengers put up with him.
[growling angrily]
Oof!
Whoa!
[crash]
[deflecting]
[grunting]
I told you, I have stolen nothing!
Loki! H'ah!
Ah!
You guys need help?
All good, got it covered.
[grunting]
Okay, then.
Let's check the inventory to see what he stole.
Sure you're good?
[Tony] All good! Oof!
[groaning] Got it... covered.
Whah! Ah!
Uh-oh.
Whoa!
Aah!
Are we having fun yet?
[Thor] Enough!
[sighing]
Not that I want to defend Loki,
but nothing's missing from the vault.
Impossible. What trickery is at hand, Loki?
Trickery? On the contrary,
I've been trying to tell you.
I'm here to help!
My friends,
I have seen the error of my ways.
I've looked deep down inside myself
at the good I'm capable of, and made a decision.
I shall be a hero.
I, Loki, shall be your newest Avenger!
Nope. No way.
Far be it from me to criticize,
but clearly you can use my help.
For instance, this primitive locking mechanism
that Tony built for your vault.
Look how quickly a devious mind can dispose of it.
Tony? Primitive?
- Wait just one... - Loki, let's go.
As you wish.
Now that we're finished here,
where do you keep your tailor?
We have a tailor?
Guys, Loki being here could mean real trouble.
Loki wanting to be an Avenger means real trouble.
Hey! He can't wear my uniform!
Cap's right.
That helmet does not go with that uniform.
If Loki really wants to be good,
why don't we keep him busy as an Avenger-in-training
while we determine what he's up to?
Train Loki?
I'm not sure he has what it takes
- to be an Avenger. - Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
Yeah, Tony, you can't be serious.
Loki can be like our... intern!
And maybe he'll make a good hero. Who knows?
- Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! - [Steve] Should we give SHIELD a heads up?
Loki hasn't done anything wrong yet,
and this way, we can keep an eye on him.
Besides, Nick Fury's a busy spy doing spy stuff.
[Fury] Have Engineering check rotor number four,
and make sure these Quinjets
are serviced and fueled ASAP,
and when you have a moment...
- [weapon powering] - Huh?
Hey! Oof!
Nebula?
You're not from around here.
Like, off-planet "not from around here."
You've done your research.
Yeah, well, I know everything.
What do you want, Nebula?
That would be telling.
Let's just say this Helicarrier will do nicely
as my new base of operations.
Loki, take that off!
You're embarrassing me.
Embarrassing?
I think it's quite flattering on me.
I wonder if it comes in green?
[Tony] Only red and gold...
and sometimes silver.
Looking good, Loki,
but you're an Avenger-in-training.
No costume or armor
until you log some hours in the field.
My first day Avenging! Excellent!
What criminal empire shall we crush?
What super-villain shall feel my wrath?
What intergalactic threat
shall we laugh in the face of?
[passing traffic horns blare]
I have infinite cosmic knowledge,
a super strategic mind,
- vast power... - [cat meowing]
and you bring me here
to get a cat out of a tree?
- [cat meowing] - You can't be serious.
This is a perfect first mission
for an intern...
Uh... Avenger-tern?
Avenging Intern?
If you want to be an Avenger,
you must act like an Avenger.
No job is too big or too small.
Yes, yes, I get it.
Move aside, Earth child.
[meowing]
We shall pay for that!
[meowing]
Thank you, Iron Man!
[happy meowing]
No thanks for the intern?
You cannot just blast your way
through every challenge that presents itself.
This coming from Thor, son of Odin.
Mr. Lightning and Thunder,
bashing everything with your hammer
all of the time?
- [huffing] - He's got a point, Thor.
No, he doesn't. I wield this hammer
with the precision of a surgeon.
Listen, Loki, all Thor's trying to say
is that you need to be more careful.
Remember, we're here to help,
and we work better as a team.
Hey, Black Widow, looks like you're chasing bad guys.
- Do you need... - Bank robbery.
It's Crossbones,
and his crew's armed with some real high-tech stuff.
High-tech bank robbers? That's not good.
Not good? It's great!
This is so much better suited to my skill set!
Just look for the skull-faced madman
driving too fast.
Consider it done.
Loki, wait!
Ha! You think you can evade Loki?
Oh, sorry, wrong skull-faced driver.
[shifter clunking]
[tires squealing]
I demand you stop this vehicle immediately, vile criminal!
[tires squealing]
- [passing scream] - [man] Huh?
- Oof! - Hello, brother.
The Earth criminals really don't respect that I'm an Avenger.
That's because you are not an Avenger.
At best... [frustrated growl]
- [shots blasting] - [traffic honking]
No one bests Loki!
Uh-oh.
- [crowd screaming] - Everyone get back!
- [crowd screaming] - [distant thud]
Huh?
H'rah! [grunting]
[distant crash]
Thanks, Hulk!
Give me five.
- Oof! - [crashing]
[groaning] Thanks.
[Tony] Going somewhere?
[tires squealing]
[crowd cheering]
[sighing] And once again, no "thank you" for Loki.
I ask you, where is the gratitude?
Gratitude for being reckless?
For endangering these citizens?
Your selfishness will preclude you
from ever becoming an Avenger, Loki!
Whatever dark crevice of the universe you crawled out of,
return to it, and leave my friends and this planet be.
Easy, Thor.
Yeah, buddy. Bad guys busted, nobody hurt.
- We'll figure this out. - No more games, Loki.
I mean it.
Hmm, that was awkward.
He's always been like that, you know. That temper.
Even when I try to do good. Maybe Thor's right,
maybe I'm not cut out for this hero business.
[heroic music playing]
I should thank you, Nick Fury, for your hospitality.
This is quite perfect.
Don't mention it.
You gonna clue me in yet
on what you're using my Helicarrier for?
Since you are sealed safely in your containment box,
I guess it won't hurt.
This Helicarrier and everyone on it,
including you, are the bait.
We're the bait? Let me guess. For the Avengers?
[knocking]
You are clever.
The last thing we need is an angry and sullen Asgardian
wandering the city.
Are we talking Thor or Loki?
Loki!
Yeah, we've gotta find...
- [brakes screeching] - Found him.
[Clint groaning]
That was fast.
- We found Loki. - Copy that, Widow.
Hulk, Cap, and I will meet you there.
Hey there, Loki, what's going on?
I'm cheering myself up with Earth pastries.
Why did someone deliberately put a hole in its center?
We have no idea.
If this was an Asgardian delicacy,
it would be fully intact
with nothing removed from the middle.
There's our fearless intern.
Don't worry, Loki.
Thor will cool off.
At least, he usually cools off.
Besides, you guys are family, right?
[roaring]
Hey, Hulk.
You gonna eat all those yourself?
That was my plan.
[whirring overhead]
That's odd.
What's the Helicarrier doing up there?
Iron Man to Nick Fury, what's going on up there?
[Fury] Avengers, this is Fury. Can you hear me? Come in.
Our guidance system's experiencing power failures.
In need of urgent assistance.
Repeat, we are in need of your assistance.
Fury needs us.
Let's move!
Hang on, Loki. We need a plan.
Hawkeye, I need you to monitor the situation from Avengers Tower
- in case things escalate down here. - On it!
Loki, I need you here on the ground
- to make sure everyone's kept safe. - Ridiculous!
An out-of-control Helicarrier
suits my vast power splendidly.
Being an Avenger is about being a team player,
which means right now, we need you down here.
[jet approaching]
Just received a distress call from Nick Fury.
Way ahead of ya!
Team player, eh?
[Tony] Well, this looks like fun.
[grunting] Something tells me... Ouch!
These guys aren't working for SHIELD. Ooh!
A Chitauri... Oof! ...trap! Avengers!
Do not... Ah! ...assemble!
You hear that transmission from Tony?
- [Tony] Avengers... - [static crackling]
assemble!
I'm pretty sure he said "Avengers Assemble."
I really wish he'd stop stealing my line.
Hmm...
[impact slamming]
Glad you saved some of them for us, Iron Man.
Is it just me, or are you feeling a little unwelcome up here?
This is always how the Chitauri welcome us.
[roaring]
[Natasha grunting with effort]
[roaring]
Ah! They've trapped me
in some kind of box...
Ah! Oof!
Hi, Natasha.
Got you too, huh?
[roaring]
[weapon powering up]
You know who you're messing with, right?
[grunting and growling]
[Steve] Ugh! Can't get a shot!
There's too many of 'em!
Going down!
I've had worse landings.
[struggling]
[grumbling]
[roaring]
- Hey, big guy. - Hey, Cap.
Where were you even keeping that?
You're not going to believe this, but we're actually here to rescue you.
[sighing in frustration]
Silence! You will all show respect.
Respect? For who?
Why, my father, of course.
[all] Thanos?
The one and only.
What brings you to our fine planet?
Uh, cute robo-Thanos thing
you got goin' on there, by the way.
[Thanos chuckling]
The ever-charming Iron Man,
even when defeated and stuck in a tiny little box.
Loki has stolen my Mech-finity Gauntlet,
and I want it back.
I'll tear apart this entire solar system to find it,
starting here with your precious city.
The Chitauri have yet to find the two Asgardians, Father.
Set course for Avengers Tower,
and find them!
Oh, no.
[Mjolnir whooshing]
Hello, brother. Still mad?
[sighing] If you are to stay here,
you must learn to be a team player.
I cannot allow you to endanger my friends
and this planet.
Yes. About that.
We need to rescue your friends,
and also the angry guy with the eyepatch.
- Then we need to save all the people of this planet. - Wait! What?
Rescue them from whom?
- Thanos. - Thanos?!
Why in the ten realms is he on Earth?
I may have stolen the Infinity Gauntlet
he built for his Mech.
He calls it his Mech-finity Gauntlet,
which personally, I think is a little on the no...
You stole the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos?
Technically the "Mech-finity Gauntlet," but yes.
And you hid it in our vault, didn't you?
Why did you not tell me this?
I couldn't allow Thanos to wield that power.
It would mean great peril for the entire universe.
Wait... You didn't want it for yourself?
You, Loki, were trying to protect the universe?
Shocking. Yes, I know. Listen, brother,
I thought if anyone could help me,
it was you and the Avengers.
You thought right.
First, we rescue the others.
Then we destroy the Mech-finity Gauntlet,
and rid this world of Thanos,
but we must work together,
- understood? - Understood.
I'm certain I'll find my Mech-finity Gauntlet here,
as well as the Asgardian thief
- hiding like a coward. - You will crush him,
the Avengers, and whoever stands in your way, Father.
Yes, I will.
[clearing throat] Why are the prisoners still here?
The prisoners are to be released from containment
and moved to the Helicarrier Brig!
- [muttering nervously] - Open the containment cages...
now!
[beeping release]
Uh... thanks, Nebula.
Don't mention it.
What is this?
On Earth, we call it a jail break.
Definitely looks like a jail break.
Stop them!
[roaring]
Quickly, we must go.
Thanos is en route to your vault!
And why should we trust you, Loki?
We know you stole the Mech-finity Gauntlet.
[Loki] You needn't trust me,
but you do trust Thor,
and right now, he's at the vault
about to face Thanos on his own!
Tony, you and Cap go! We'll clean up around here.
- [grunting] - Hey, Cap, time to go!
[smashing]
[Thanos] I see you're not a coward
like your brother.
You'll find that no son of Odin
is afraid of a fight.
Especially me.
[evil chuckle]
[straining]
[grunting]
You'll have to do better than that.
Oh, I will. [grunting]
Didn't see that coming, did you?
[roaring in frustration]
[grunting]
- [grunting] - [crackling]
- Oh! - A valiant effort, Asgardian,
but you have lost.
[bow stretching]
Aah!
[grunts]
[blasting]
I told Tony he needed a better lock on this door.
Ah, yes. The thief.
I'll enjoy crushing you
as I reclaim what is rightfully mine.
Do you really believe
you can defeat me on your own, coward?
And why should I have to face you on my own?
- Sorry, we're late. - [Tony] Yeah, thought
we'd put on something a little more appropriate.
You're already too late.
Not on my watch.
[growling, roaring angrily]
[grunts]
[grunting]
Yaah!
[beeping]
[blasting]
[distant screaming]
Hey, Hulk, now that Fury has everything under control,
better get down to the vault.
[raging in frustration]
Get back here!
[growling]
[grunts]
[grunting]
[growling]
[grunting]
- [growling] - My fellow Avengers,
if you're planning on helping me defeat Thanos, now is the... [yelping]
Ah! Oh!
[straining]
Yaah! Huh!
Yaah! [grunts]
[evil cackle] Finally!
[all] No!
Yes! Suffer my wrath!
[power surging]
- [shorting out] - What?
What is this?
Oh... Thanos, yes,
I forgot to mention.
While I did indeed hide your gauntlet here,
I took all of the Infinity Stones out of it
and hid them elsewhere in the universe.
Those stones are, as they say,
"costume jewelry." They're worthless.
No cosmic power.
Not even that pretty to look at, really.
[gasping] This can't be!
[roaring]
- Unh! - Oof!
Congrats, team! We did it!
You stole the Infinity Stones
and purposely led Thanos here
so we'd battle him for you?
That's deceitful even for you, Loki.
Tony, Natasha, Bruce...
together as a team we have just defeated Thanos
and saved the universe!
Not bad for an Avenger in training, I'd say!
And where, dear brother, have you hidden the real Infinity Stones?
I assure you, somewhere much more secure
than this supposedly secret vault.
[exasperated roar]
I've given it much consideration, and I've decided
I'm not good at this hero thing.
I'll leave it to you, Avengers. You are the real heroes.
Until we meet again.
That's family for you.
[roaring] Loki!
[closing theme music playing]