1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,006 --> 00:00:08,942 RuPaul: The queens of "RuPaul's Drag Race" 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,944 are recreating an unforgettable episode 5 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:12,779 of "The Brady Bunch." 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,682 It's a one-of-a-kind television event 7 00:00:14,747 --> 00:00:16,350 fit for a queen. 8 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,917 Uh-huh. 9 00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:20,954 RuPaul: With appearances by the Brady OGs. 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,155 Hold onto your wig. 11 00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:24,492 Oh. This is my own hair. 12 00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:27,128 This classic is about to be drag. 13 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:33,267 * Here's the story of a lovely lady * 14 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,735 * Who was bringing up three very lovely girls * 15 00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,237 She'd already done had herses. 16 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,906 * All of them had hair of gold * 17 00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,674 * Like their mother * 18 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,578 -* The youngest one in curls * -Hey, get it, girl! 19 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:48,582 * It's the story of a man named Brady * 20 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,518 * Who was busy with three boys of his own * 21 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,186 Werk! 22 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,923 * They were four men living all together * 23 00:00:55,988 --> 00:00:58,926 * Yet they were all alone * 24 00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:01,829 * Till the one day when the lady met this fellow * 25 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,597 Whoo! 26 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,567 * And they knew that it was much more than a hunch * 27 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,569 * That this group must somehow form a family * 28 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,338 Chile! 29 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,873 * That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch * 30 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,243 * The Brady Bunch * 31 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,245 * The Brady Bunch * 32 00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:24,551 * That's the way we became the Brady Bunch * 33 00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,454 [RuPaul laughs] 34 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:52,979 Hi, Mom. 35 00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:54,981 Hi, honey. How was school today? 36 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,384 Okay. 37 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,718 Alice made some of your favorite cookies, 38 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,953 -if you're hungry. -Good, I am. 39 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,891 Mm, this is for you. 40 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:10,129 Oh, hey, it's an invitation to Lucy Winter's birthday party. 41 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,431 Who opened it? 42 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,336 I did, but it wasn't my fault. Look at the envelope. 43 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,638 "Marcia Brady"? 44 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,106 How come my invitation was addressed to you? 45 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,009 I don't know. 46 00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:24,312 Lucy's your friend, so I called her to check it out. 47 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,514 Well, what did she say? 48 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,882 Oh, you know, just one of those things. 49 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,718 She made a mistake and put my name instead of yours. 50 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,929 -Mom? -Yes, honey? 51 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,564 Did you hear about Lucy Winter's invitation? 52 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,067 Well, I did hear Marcia calling about it. 53 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:50,670 [sighs] Why does this always happen to me? 54 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,640 Why does what always happen? 55 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:56,944 People always forgetting who I am. 56 00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,379 I'm always Marcia's younger sister 57 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,114 or Cindy's older sister. 58 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,016 Being in the middle is like being invisible. 59 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:08,087 Oh, Jan, I really think you're making too much out of this. 60 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,056 I mean, after all, 61 00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:13,661 you were the one who was invited to the party. 62 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,901 They won't even know I'm there. 63 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,788 Jan Brady will, that's who! 64 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,763 Dad, can I talk to you? 65 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,900 Sure, Peter, just a minute. 66 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:59,272 [whistles a tune] 67 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,255 Peter, what is it you want? 68 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,026 Well, I was wondering if I could have an advance on my allowance. 69 00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,528 Advance on your allowance? 70 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,663 I just gave you your allowance for this week. 71 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,832 Well, I was thinking more like an advance on next week's. 72 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,500 What happened to this week's? 73 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,937 Well, I saw the chance for a really great business deal, 74 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,774 so I lent everything I had to Jan. 75 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,545 $4.49 at 20% interest. 76 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,646 What does Jan need all that money for? 77 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,180 She didn't say. 78 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:42,882 What do you need the money for? 79 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,185 Well, I was invited to Lucy Winter's birthday party, too, 80 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:50,023 so I guess I gotta get her a present. 81 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,925 That's probably what Jan wanted the money for. 82 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,026 How much do you need? 83 00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:57,297 Mm, 49 cents. 84 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,867 49 cents? 85 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,802 Why exactly 49 cents? 86 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,605 Well, I figure that's what Lucy spent on my present, 87 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,038 and I don't wanna embarrass her 88 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:07,940 by getting her something too good. 89 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,976 Well, that's very considerate, Peter. 90 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,346 You owe me a penny. 91 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,781 Got it right here. 92 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,483 Thanks. 93 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,353 Oh. Huh. 94 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,254 Goodbye, Peter. 95 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,466 Are you looking for someone, dear? 96 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,869 Oh, no, ma'am. I'm looking for a wig. 97 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,271 You mean for yourself? 98 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,740 Yes, ma'am. 99 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,841 Well, I think your own hair is nice. 100 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,143 I love it. 101 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:46,112 I don't know why you'd wanna change it. 102 00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,615 Well, I think you'd probably know 103 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,550 if you had two blonde sisters at home. 104 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:54,053 Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho. I see the problem. 105 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,356 We want a complete change, do we? 106 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,459 Yes, ma'am, that's what we want. 107 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,163 Well, now, what style wig do you have in mind? 108 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,399 I don't know. Something crazy. 109 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,802 Kind of like the style you're wearing. 110 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,771 Oh, this is my own hair. 111 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,040 Oh, I'm sorry. 112 00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:16,644 Not half as sorry as I am. 113 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,880 Well, now let's see what we've got here. 114 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:26,920 There's early rust, Pompeii pumice, 115 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:31,459 lunar dust, and here's--no. 116 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:32,893 [chuckles] 117 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,095 Hey, this one's kind of nice. 118 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:39,066 Oh, yes. That's your midnight temptress. 119 00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:42,369 Hey, now, listen. 120 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,605 Don't you think it's a little...mature? 121 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,007 Well, I'm older than I look. 122 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,408 I'm 12. 123 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,877 Oh, that old? 124 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,947 Well, you carry it very well. 125 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,550 Midnight temptress, huh? 126 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,018 That's right. 127 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,887 Well, I don't think I'll be up that late. 128 00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:01,288 Oh. Well... 129 00:07:01,353 --> 00:07:03,690 Do you mind if I kinda look around? 130 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,158 Oh, no, not at all. 131 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,761 And listen, with each and every purchase, 132 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,297 you get a free Styrofoam head. 133 00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:13,233 Hey, this one's kind of different. 134 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,769 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 135 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,771 I wouldn't recommend that. 136 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:18,872 Why not? 137 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,206 It's a handbag, 138 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,141 and it shouldn't be over here. 139 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,677 Helen! Helen? 140 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,682 How many times do I have to tell you? 141 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,684 Never mix the merchandise. 142 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,153 Helen, it is tacky! 143 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,590 Well, I'll just keep looking. 144 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,057 It's so embarrassing. 145 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,728 A little girl almost walked out of the store 146 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,997 wearing this on her head. 147 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:49,002 What a diva. 148 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,103 Cindy, what are you looking for? 149 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,173 Hair ribbons. 150 00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:27,774 I can't go to Jenny's house without them, 151 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,009 or else she'll get mad. 152 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,143 Why? 153 00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:33,212 Because they're her hair ribbons. 154 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:35,447 When was the last time you saw them? 155 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,384 Last night when I took them off. 156 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,086 Hey, maybe they're in the bathroom. 157 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,094 [jiggles doorknob] 158 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,897 [knock on door] 159 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,831 Whoever it is, I'm in here. 160 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,168 Jan, let me in. I have to get my hair ribbons. 161 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,636 Come back later. 162 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,076 Come on, Jan, open up! 163 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,778 Would you let us in? 164 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,216 Grab 'em. 165 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,355 Jan, what happened? 166 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:19,158 The top of your head turned black. 167 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,327 Don't be silly. It's a wig. 168 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,830 Where did you get that? 169 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:23,996 I bought it this morning. 170 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,832 What do you think? 171 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,036 Jan, I think it looks awful. 172 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,770 Who asked for your opinion? 173 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:37,878 Oh, I've always liked this dress on Jan. 174 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,047 [mumbling] Mm, this one's one of my favorites. 175 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,280 You, too, huh? 176 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,750 [mumbling] Mm, mm. Put it on. 177 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,350 Okay, yeah, I agree. 178 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,586 Honey, have you seen those blueprints I brought home? 179 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:50,423 Oh, Alice, have you seen Mr. Brady's blueprints? 180 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,161 Mm, oh! They're upstairs... [mumbling] 181 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:57,264 She says they're upstairs in the bedroom. 182 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,633 How could you tell what she said? 183 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,701 Very simple. 184 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,138 [chuckles] Women. 185 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,874 Oh, honey, listen, 186 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,142 if you're going upstairs, can you send Jan down? 187 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,244 I want her to try this on again. 188 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,684 Jan, you can't wear that to Lucy Winter's birthday party. 189 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,418 I don't see why not. 190 00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:22,154 Because you'll look like some kind of kook, that's why. 191 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,191 You're just jealous, Marcia. 192 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:27,394 Well, I'm not jealous. 193 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,229 Wait till my friends at the party see me. 194 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,730 You know what they'll say? 195 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,264 Mm-hmm. 196 00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,268 I can think of a lot of things they'll say. 197 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,602 Very funny. 198 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,270 They'll say for the very first time 199 00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:39,972 they've seen the real Jan Brady. 200 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,043 -Jan? -Uh-oh, that's Dad. 201 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,611 I don't want Mom or Dad to see me until I'm all ready. 202 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,081 Well, then you better get ready in a hurry! 203 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,549 Yeah! 204 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:51,818 Jan? 205 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,485 Yes, Dad? 206 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,087 Your mother wants you. 207 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,756 Do you mean now? 208 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:57,990 Yes. 209 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,426 Right now? 210 00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:01,894 That's what I said. Right now. 211 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,464 You mean this very minute now? 212 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,700 This very minute now. 213 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,970 It's my hair. I can't do a thing with it. 214 00:11:14,606 --> 00:11:17,576 Hey, Greg, when's Peter coming back? 215 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,678 I don't know. He went to buy a present for Lucy. 216 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,815 I got something I better tell him. 217 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,615 What? 218 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,684 Guess who's gonna be at Lucy Winter's party? 219 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,053 Who? 220 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,388 Margie Whipple. [laughs] 221 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,889 Her brother told me. 222 00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:33,692 The one Peter says is always chasing after him? 223 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,096 Yeah, and making those goofy eyes at him and all that mush. 224 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,432 He's gonna love seeing her. 225 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,902 We better warn him when he gets back. 226 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,504 Hey, wait a minute. 227 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,373 What would happen if we didn't tell him 228 00:11:46,438 --> 00:11:48,808 Margie Whipple was gonna be there? 229 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,144 Well, then he wouldn't know till he got to the party. 230 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,780 Uh-huh. 231 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,384 Uh-huh. 232 00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,787 [glass breaks] 233 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,793 You wanted to see me, Mom? 234 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,528 Jan! I thought-- 235 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:12,331 I thought you washed your hair yesterday. 236 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,134 Oh, I did, but it needed it again. 237 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:19,538 Well, come on over here. I wanna check a length on this. 238 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,640 Couldn't we do it later? 239 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,446 Jan, honey, if you wanna wear this to the party, 240 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,581 we've got to do it right now. 241 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,783 Okay. 242 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,183 Come on. 243 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,986 Okay, Alice, you hold it up while I take a look. 244 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,623 Okay. Oh, you're really gonna knock 'em dead 245 00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:38,725 at that party in this dress tonight. 246 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,527 -Thank you. -Looks great. 247 00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:42,528 Goes so well with your blonde hair. 248 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,899 Hold still, Jan. 249 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,201 Oh, it looks fine, huh? 250 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,503 Just right. 251 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,874 Mom, can we get a-- 252 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:57,476 Hey, what are you supposed to be, a fortune teller? 253 00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:58,912 [both laugh] 254 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,513 Very funny. 255 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,881 Tell us, fortune teller, 256 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,917 what do you see in your crystal ball? 257 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,317 Yeah, tell our fortunes. 258 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:06,519 Go away! 259 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,488 Hey, what's the matter, 260 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:11,158 you lose your mystic powers? 261 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,559 Maybe they're under her hat! 262 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,029 Jan! 263 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:21,500 What on earth? 264 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:25,004 [both snicker and laugh] 265 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,907 What's so funny? 266 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:32,544 Nothing...if you wanna look like Davy Crockett! 267 00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:34,681 What's going on in here? 268 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:40,120 She looks like she has a skunk sleeping on top of her head! 269 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,422 Go away! Leave me alone! 270 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,390 Greg, Bobby, that's enough. 271 00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,893 Here, Mrs. Brady. 272 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,094 Come on, guys. 273 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:50,096 I'll play you a game of two-on-one. 274 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,566 I don't see what's so funny about my wig. 275 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,602 Jan, where did you get that? 276 00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:59,005 I bought it, with my own money. 277 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,006 Why? 278 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,408 Because I wanna wear it. 279 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,275 I wanna wear it all the time from now on. 280 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,078 Honey, why? 281 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,547 'Cause I wanna be me. 282 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,381 I'm tired of looking like everyone else. 283 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:10,817 I wanna be Jan Brady. 284 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,953 But, honey, Jan Brady has blonde hair. 285 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,556 But nobody notices that Jan Brady. 286 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,524 But they'll sure notice this Jan Brady. 287 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,327 Jan, a person doesn't make themself different 288 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,495 just by putting on a wig. 289 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:27,100 It's what's inside that counts, not the color of your hair. 290 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,201 Well, if the color of my hair doesn't matter, 291 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,503 why can't I be a brunette? 292 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,304 Well, honey... 293 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,140 Please, can I wear it? Please? 294 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,076 Just to Lucy Winter's party. 295 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,479 Well, if it means so much to you... 296 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,482 And if it's okay with your father... 297 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,619 Okay. 298 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,788 Oh, thanks! You'll see. 299 00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,057 Things'll be different for me as a brunette. 300 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,442 I bet I'm the hit of Lucy's party tonight. 301 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:13,446 How do you think Kitty Karry-All would look with black hair? 302 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,881 Same as Jan. Silly. 303 00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,549 You think you're so smart. 304 00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:20,287 All you have to do is take a look at the three of us. 305 00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:22,522 Which one you think people would notice? 306 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,791 Me. I'm the shortest. 307 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,562 [blows air] 308 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,063 Pliers. 309 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,434 Does this look like pliers? 310 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,470 Mm. Mm. 311 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,105 Hi. 312 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,407 Hey. 313 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:44,811 Hi. [laughs] 314 00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,278 What's so funny? 315 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,815 [laughs] 316 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,219 What are you doing? 317 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,753 What does it look like I'm doing? 318 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,687 I'm gonna wrap Lucy Winter's present. 319 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,390 [laughs] 320 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,794 Oh, right. The party's tonight. 321 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,797 That oughta be a lot of fun. 322 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,033 Yeah, fun. 323 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,701 What's the matter with him? 324 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,803 Nothing. He's just got the giggles. 325 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,639 [laughs] 326 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,908 Okay, something's up. 327 00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,311 What is it? 328 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,578 Nothing at all. 329 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:20,879 -[snickers] -Come on, Bobby. 330 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,115 You know something. Tell me. 331 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,850 -No, I don't. -I'll tickle you. 332 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,418 No, no, no! Aah! 333 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,254 -Tell me! -No! Stop! 334 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,921 -Don't tickle! -Talk! Talk! 335 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,990 All right, all right, all right, I'll tell you! 336 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,793 Somebody's gonna be at the party. 337 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,028 Who? 338 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,962 -Somebody. -Who! 339 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,932 It's Margie! Margie Whipple! 340 00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:42,934 No! 341 00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:46,505 Ohh... 342 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,008 No! 343 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,777 You'll have a great time, Pete. 344 00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,979 Yeah, great, with her chasing me 345 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,381 and making dumb faces all night? 346 00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:56,582 I'm not going. 347 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,284 You gotta go. 348 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,886 You can't promise you're gonna go and take Jan 349 00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:02,322 and then not do it. 350 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,656 Not unless you were sick or something. 351 00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,125 Yeah, well, just the same, I-- 352 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,060 ["inspiration" sting] 353 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,130 What's the matter? 354 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:14,666 Ohh... 355 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:18,505 ...am I beginning to feel sick. 356 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,708 [groans] 357 00:17:21,773 --> 00:17:23,143 Ugh! 358 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,982 So I thought you'd better take a look at Peter. 359 00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,019 Yeah, he doesn't sound so good. 360 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,721 He's kind of moanin'. 361 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:35,887 And groaning. 362 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,423 When did this happen? 363 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,691 Just a little while ago. 364 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,959 All of a sudden. 365 00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,561 Never a dull moment around here. 366 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,032 [footsteps] 367 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:51,570 [groans and moans] 368 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,542 Peter, what's wrong? 369 00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,278 Oh, I don't know. I just don't feel so good. 370 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,647 It kind of hit him all of a sudden. 371 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:03,415 Yeah, like lightning. 372 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,753 You boys better leave us alone. 373 00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:09,455 Sure, Dad. 374 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,790 [sighs] 375 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,826 Where does it hurt, Peter? 376 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,296 Kinda all over. 377 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,498 It's sort of a traveling pain. 378 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,833 When did it start? 379 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,434 Just a little while ago. 380 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:26,638 I guess I'll have to miss Lucy Winter's terrific party. 381 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,210 It's that bad, is it? 382 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,711 Yeah. I'm gonna have to miss it, all right. 383 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,948 Boy, am I unhappy about that. 384 00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,549 Yes, we can see that. 385 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:41,320 Mike, don't you think we'd better call the doctor? 386 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,789 Oh, yeah, yeah, right away. 387 00:18:43,855 --> 00:18:45,892 Doctor? I'll be all right. 388 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,626 See? I can sit up a little. 389 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,262 Dear, I really think it's better if you stay in bed. 390 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:52,332 Yeah, at least for a couple of days. 391 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,267 But I got a ball game tomorrow. 392 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,134 Not if you're sick. 393 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,538 Wait. I'll be all right. I feel much better now. 394 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:01,641 I'm sorry, Peter, but we can't take any chances. 395 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:05,111 Look, I'm not sick anymore, okay, see? 396 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,414 Can I play in my ball game tomorrow, please? 397 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,784 Well, just to make sure you're okay, Peter, 398 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:15,488 you can take your sister to Lucy Winter's birthday party. 399 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,958 If you're okay after that, then you can play. 400 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,593 That's a good idea, Mike. 401 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,762 I know Peter would just hate to miss that party. 402 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:31,103 Yeah, I can hardly wait. 403 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,108 Come on, Peter. What's the matter with you? 404 00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:39,746 You act like you're going to the electric chair. 405 00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,315 That would be better than facing that Margie. 406 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,517 I think I'll lock myself in a closet. 407 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,152 Well, you may not have a good time, 408 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,320 but the new Jan Brady is gonna be a smash. 409 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,390 Now, you go first and sort of announce me. 410 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,659 I wanna make a big entrance. 411 00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,564 [door opens] 412 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,397 Oh, hi, Peter! 413 00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,031 Hi, Lucy, happy birthday. 414 00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:03,001 Thank you. Margie, Peter's here! 415 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,037 Did you have to do that? 416 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,140 Hi, Peter. How are you? 417 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,108 Where's Jan? 418 00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,311 Oh, okay, everybody, 419 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:17,182 here's my sister, the new Jan Brady! 420 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:20,787 Hi there. 421 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,191 Happy birthday, Lucy. 422 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,426 -Hi, Margie. -Hi. 423 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,730 Jan, that's terrific! 424 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,163 Thanks! 425 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:35,201 It's the funniest joke you've ever played! 426 00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:40,072 You really look funny. 427 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,044 Hey, that'd be great for Halloween. 428 00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,712 Halloween? 429 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,615 Yeah, Halloween! 430 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,324 What's the matter with her? 431 00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,792 Lucy, she didn't mean it to be a joke. 432 00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,894 You mean she wasn't kidding? 433 00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:04,596 Nope. 434 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,107 RuPaul: I'm sorry, my dear. 435 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,345 Sashay away. 436 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:27,953 [click] Oh, honey, wasn't that good? 437 00:21:28,019 --> 00:21:30,690 -Is it over? -Is it over?! 438 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,291 You were the one that wanted to watch it! 439 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,228 Well, sure. It was one of my favorite shows. 440 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:40,199 I'm gonna get you! [both laugh] 441 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,742 Jan? 442 00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:53,445 Hi there. 443 00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:56,949 Honey, what's the matter? 444 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,518 They laughed at me. 445 00:21:58,585 --> 00:22:00,353 They thought my wig was a joke. 446 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:04,256 Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. 447 00:22:05,156 --> 00:22:08,094 Mom, Dad, you were right. 448 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,262 I guess I do look like some kind of freak in this thing. 449 00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:14,567 Oh, honey, you just don't look like you. 450 00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:18,237 Well, Jan, your friends like you the way you are. 451 00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:21,407 I sure wasted my money on that thing. 452 00:22:21,473 --> 00:22:23,742 Oh, honey, I'm not so sure. 453 00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:28,780 Maybe you learned a valuable lesson very cheaply. 454 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:32,151 Why didn't you wait, Jan? I would have walked you home. 455 00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:33,920 Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Brady. 456 00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,021 -Hi, Lucy. -Hello, girls. 457 00:22:36,087 --> 00:22:37,589 Jan, we're sorry. 458 00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:39,726 We didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 459 00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:42,193 We thought the wig had to be a joke. 460 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,864 Your own hair, it's so pretty. 461 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:46,132 We all envy it. 462 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,933 You do? 463 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,538 Will you come back to the party with us, please? 464 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,872 Well... 465 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,173 Oh, honey, why don't you? 466 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,044 Well... 467 00:22:58,109 --> 00:23:00,246 I'd like to, I guess. 468 00:23:00,311 --> 00:23:02,248 Okay. 469 00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,982 Come on! 470 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,986 Come on, Peter. 471 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,488 No chance! 472 00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:12,090 Pete, I thought we had an agreement? 473 00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:14,093 Oh, yeah. 474 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,694 Okay, I'll go. 475 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,465 Yeah, he's shy. 476 00:23:19,531 --> 00:23:21,333 Like father, like son. 477 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,969 [chuckles] Like heck! 478 00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:24,936 Oh! [both laugh] 479 00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:47,326 Oh! 480 00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,363 Oh, oh, oh! 481 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,699 I didn't-- 482 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,035 Jan gave it to me. 483 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,605 Whaddaya think, Mrs. Brady? 484 00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:03,576 Oh, well--well, I--I think, uh, it's, um-- 485 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:07,346 Oh, well, what I mean is I think it-- 486 00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:10,517 What do you think, Mike? 487 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:15,622 Well, I think it's-- I mean, it's-- 488 00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:18,356 It's certainly got a lot of-- 489 00:24:19,357 --> 00:24:21,528 I think I need a third opinion. 490 00:24:21,594 --> 00:24:23,563 Alice, what do you think? 491 00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,799 It's unanimous. 492 00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,636 Oh, well. I could always shave it 493 00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:32,438 and use it for a shower cap. 494 00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:35,340 [all laugh] 495 00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:39,111 And that's a wrap! 496 00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:41,079 Whoa-ho! 497 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,382 [cheering] 498 00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:45,084 We've got some groceries. 499 00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:56,895 Hey, guys, come on, come on. 500 00:24:56,962 --> 00:25:00,967 [cheering] 501 00:25:01,032 --> 00:25:03,536 Thank you! Thank you! 502 00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:19,484 Oh, the house is falling apart. 503 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,421 He went to buy a present for Margie. 504 00:25:22,488 --> 00:25:24,691 -Fuckin' A. -[laughs] 505 00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:25,892 Oh, honey. 506 00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:27,459 What the fuck is the line? 507 00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:46,278 Jan! 508 00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:48,580 [laughs] 509 00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:50,281 Jan! 510 00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:51,217 Sorry. [laughs] 511 00:25:51,282 --> 00:25:53,318 You wanted to see me, Mom? 512 00:25:53,384 --> 00:25:56,122 [laughs] 513 00:25:56,188 --> 00:26:00,660 Sexy? I want a black wig and I want it now! 514 00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:03,328 How now, brown cow? 515 00:26:03,394 --> 00:26:05,564 19 kids. We have two bags of groceries. 516 00:26:05,632 --> 00:26:06,932 [all laugh] 517 00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:09,567 Is that an Oscar award winning performance? 518 00:26:09,635 --> 00:26:11,103 I think so. 519 00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,904 -Honey, what's wrong? -Honey, what's the matter? 520 00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,472 Fucking shit! 521 00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:17,143 Well, Jan, your friends like you the way you are. 522 00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:19,211 It's the family who hates you. 523 00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:21,079 Okay, got it. Okay, here we go. 524 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:28,153 Not bloody sick anymore. See? 525 00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:30,256 Can I play in my damn baseball game? 526 00:26:30,321 --> 00:26:32,124 [all laugh]