1 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:02,918 [TV static drones] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,000 [bright tone] 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,209 [unintelligible chatter] 6 00:00:17,292 --> 00:00:19,167 - Grandma. Grandma. 7 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:21,709 [chatter continues] 8 00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:27,751 - Hey, Soph. 9 00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:29,751 Sophie. Over here. 10 00:00:29,834 --> 00:00:31,417 - What? - Hi. 11 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:32,626 - Hi. 12 00:00:32,709 --> 00:00:34,083 - [laughs] - Hi. 13 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,667 - Sophie's favorite is definitely "Twist and Shout." 14 00:00:38,626 --> 00:00:39,959 - Every horrible day in history 15 00:00:40,042 --> 00:00:42,083 has a much happier day before it. 16 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,792 - Wow. 17 00:00:43,876 --> 00:00:45,792 [laughter] 18 00:00:45,876 --> 00:00:47,626 - This was ours. 19 00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:49,751 Halloween, 2006. 20 00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:51,959 - Go on, Soph. - It's okay. 21 00:00:52,042 --> 00:00:54,459 [people cheer] 22 00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:56,959 [dramatic music] 23 00:00:57,042 --> 00:01:00,000 [unintelligible chatter, laughter] 24 00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:06,542 - I went to bed that night the luckiest guy alive. 25 00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:07,709 By the next night, I was living 26 00:01:07,792 --> 00:01:10,417 the worst nightmare imaginable. 27 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,042 - Police in Manhattan tonight are investigating 28 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,542 the mysterious death of a 40-year-old actress. 29 00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,250 Adrienne Shelly was found dead 30 00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:18,584 in her West Village office last night. 31 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:21,334 It was Shelly's husband, Andy Ostroy, who found her. 32 00:01:21,417 --> 00:01:23,375 - The actress, found hanging in a bathroom 33 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,709 of her Manhattan office, likely committed suicide. 34 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:32,000 Shelly leaves behind a three-year-old daughter. 35 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,334 - Oh, my God. Look at you. 36 00:01:34,417 --> 00:01:37,167 You look drunk. Did you drink? 37 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,500 - There was no way Adrienne killed herself. 38 00:01:39,584 --> 00:01:41,918 - [gasps] Daddy! 39 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:45,834 - Suicide simply wasn't possible. 40 00:01:45,918 --> 00:01:48,459 She was the happiest I'd ever seen her. 41 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,709 [Sara Bareilles' "Soft Place to Land"] 42 00:01:50,792 --> 00:01:52,125 I set out on a journey to find out 43 00:01:52,209 --> 00:01:54,125 what really happened that day 44 00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:57,125 and to make sure Adrienne would never be forgotten, 45 00:01:57,209 --> 00:01:58,918 especially for Sophie. 46 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:03,918 - Sometimes I still see her 47 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:09,250 My mother, the dreamer 48 00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:14,042 She'd say, "Nothing's impossible 49 00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:18,751 Child" 50 00:02:20,042 --> 00:02:21,709 - Cut! [laughter] 51 00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:24,000 - And know that you need them 52 00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:30,834 When your breaking point's all that you have 53 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:34,542 A dream is a soft place 54 00:02:34,626 --> 00:02:36,667 To land 55 00:02:40,918 --> 00:02:44,334 Sugar, butter 56 00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:46,834 Flour 57 00:02:51,709 --> 00:02:54,125 [horns honking] 58 00:02:54,209 --> 00:02:57,209 [unintelligible chatter] 59 00:02:59,334 --> 00:03:02,209 [music from "Waitress" playing over speakers] 60 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,626 - So this whole area, when you come here, 61 00:03:14,709 --> 00:03:17,375 it just feels like "Waitress" headquarters. 62 00:03:17,459 --> 00:03:19,751 I love the success of it and what it means for her 63 00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:21,918 and her legacy. 64 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,876 But then I'm just immediately transported to, 65 00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:26,209 she's not here to see it, 66 00:03:26,292 --> 00:03:29,292 she's not here to experience it. 67 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,167 I'm making a documentary about Adrienne Shelly. 68 00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,083 Do you know who she is? 69 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:35,459 - Uh, I can see her name right there. 70 00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:39,292 Uh, it's based upon the mo-- yes, that's all I know. 71 00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:40,667 - If I did that, do you know who she is? 72 00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:42,292 - No, I don't. - Do you know who she is? 73 00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:43,417 - I do not. 74 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:45,959 - No? - Um...no. 75 00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:47,959 - Many people who come to see the show don't-- 76 00:03:48,042 --> 00:03:49,626 just don't know who Adrienne is. 77 00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:53,417 How she created this story that has this life, 78 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,876 this amazing life on Broadway, 12 years later, 79 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,250 and they don't know who she is. 80 00:03:58,334 --> 00:04:01,959 That to me is--is-- is profoundly sad. 81 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:05,626 - I wrote "Waitress" when I was 82 00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:07,500 about eight months pregnant with Sophie. 83 00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:09,167 And I was really scared about having a baby. 84 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,334 I just couldn't imagine what my life was gonna be 85 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,375 after I had a baby; I thought it was gonna change 86 00:04:13,459 --> 00:04:14,876 so drastically that I wasn't even 87 00:04:14,959 --> 00:04:16,292 gonna recognize myself anymore. 88 00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:17,626 I was terrified. 89 00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:20,918 The actual fear of how your life is going to change 90 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,167 is not spoken about, 91 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:26,167 so I--I wanted to write a movie about those fears 92 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,500 and, you know, give those fears a voice. 93 00:04:28,584 --> 00:04:30,375 - I seem to be pregnant. - Good. 94 00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:31,959 Good for you. Congratulations. 95 00:04:32,042 --> 00:04:33,584 - Thanks, but I'm not so happy about it 96 00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:35,167 like everybody else might be. 97 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,292 I'm having the baby, and that's that. 98 00:04:37,959 --> 00:04:39,542 - But I also knew that, you know, 99 00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,500 when you actually have the child 100 00:04:41,584 --> 00:04:44,626 that this other kind of love probably kicks in 101 00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:47,584 that you can't even imagine, which is true. 102 00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:51,667 It's a complete, utter, unconditional kind of love, 103 00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:55,209 and it does change your life in a--in a beautiful way. 104 00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:58,209 And it's--it is a love letter to my--to my baby. 105 00:04:58,292 --> 00:05:00,792 [soft music] 106 00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,500 - The first page or two was the opening sequence, 107 00:05:03,584 --> 00:05:05,751 making the pies and bread sequence. 108 00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:08,042 And I was like, "Yeah, you got me." 109 00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:10,042 I loved it. 110 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:13,083 - "Earl murders me 'cause I'm havin' an affair" pie. 111 00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:14,834 You smash blackberries and raspberries 112 00:05:14,918 --> 00:05:17,292 into a chocolate crust. 113 00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:19,167 "I can't have no affair, because it's wrong 114 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,834 and I don't want Earl to kill me" pie. 115 00:05:21,918 --> 00:05:24,959 Vanilla custard with banana. 116 00:05:25,042 --> 00:05:26,542 Hold the banana. 117 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:30,125 - I loved her sense of humor, her sensibility. 118 00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:34,542 For me to root for this adulterous affair 119 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:38,083 throughout this entire script is such a feat. 120 00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,584 - I'm married. You're married. 121 00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:41,375 I'm pregnant. You're my doctor. 122 00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:42,709 - Maybe we could have a coffee or something-- 123 00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:44,083 - I can't have coffee. 124 00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:45,500 It's on the bad food list you gave me. 125 00:05:45,584 --> 00:05:47,083 What kind of doctor are you? 126 00:05:47,167 --> 00:05:50,167 - That balance is so tricky, because... 127 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,375 - Sure. - You shouldn't-- 128 00:05:51,459 --> 00:05:52,751 you shouldn't kind of-- you shouldn't want... 129 00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:54,042 - Banging your gynecologist. - These people to be 130 00:05:54,125 --> 00:05:55,083 doing this--right I mean, it's like, 131 00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:56,250 there's nothing good about this, 132 00:05:56,334 --> 00:05:57,709 except it works. 133 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,375 - Mark it. - Mark. 134 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,918 - I loved the script immediately. 135 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,083 I mean, it's so fun and irreverent 136 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:06,209 and true all at once. 137 00:06:06,292 --> 00:06:08,083 - Dawn, you're beautiful. 138 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:11,042 Your skin looks like a normal person's. 139 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,626 - Thank you. 140 00:06:12,709 --> 00:06:14,000 - I thought she was really smart. 141 00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,000 I thought she was really pretty. 142 00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:18,792 She was super ambitious, I felt, 143 00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:20,959 super clear about what she wanted. 144 00:06:21,042 --> 00:06:22,959 - She strikes me as a woman who was ahead of her time 145 00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:25,959 in terms of the kind of art she wanted to do 146 00:06:26,042 --> 00:06:28,959 and the kind of subject matter she wanted to cover. 147 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:31,792 - She's a real feminist icon to me. 148 00:06:31,876 --> 00:06:34,542 I really think of her that way, as being a real maverick. 149 00:06:34,626 --> 00:06:37,375 - I remember her in her wedding gown 150 00:06:37,459 --> 00:06:39,250 and, like, being in the scene 151 00:06:39,334 --> 00:06:40,751 and then going behind the monitors 152 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,125 and then going back out in the scene, 153 00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:43,918 holding up her skirt when she ran. 154 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,083 I mean, I think it's challenging anyway 155 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,417 to be in something that you're directing. 156 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:54,250 But also being a new mom is pretty crazy. 157 00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:56,751 - You know, Adrienne was this small person 158 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,000 walking around the set 159 00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,459 but quietly powerful, 160 00:07:00,542 --> 00:07:01,876 because she knew exactly what she wanted, 161 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,459 this was her project, and you listened. 162 00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:06,083 - I'm fine, Cal. We'll be right out! 163 00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:09,292 - I wasn't surprised when I saw "Waitress" 164 00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:10,334 for the first time. 165 00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:11,834 It just confirmed 166 00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:14,167 what I already knew to be true, 167 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,876 and that was, she was a great director. 168 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,626 - I would've liked to have seen where that career went. 169 00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:26,250 I would've liked to have heard and seen more stories from... 170 00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:28,042 her vision. 171 00:07:30,542 --> 00:07:32,125 [baby fusses] 172 00:07:32,209 --> 00:07:34,459 [baby cries] 173 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,083 - If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands 174 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:45,209 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands 175 00:07:45,292 --> 00:07:48,042 - In hindsight, November 1st started out 176 00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:50,584 in-- in a really fortunate way. 177 00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:52,709 I got to spend a lot of time with her that morning 178 00:07:52,792 --> 00:07:55,125 in a way that I normally wouldn't have. 179 00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,626 And I was really happy that day. 180 00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:05,000 So we were together, uh, in the apartment 181 00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:08,167 till about, um-- 182 00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:09,959 till about 9:15. 183 00:08:10,042 --> 00:08:12,959 [somber music] 184 00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:22,125 And I was gonna drop her at her office 185 00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:25,167 on Abingdon Square. 186 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,459 I remember watching her get out of the car 187 00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:30,083 and go into the building, 188 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:33,959 and I just watched her walk away into the building, 189 00:08:34,042 --> 00:08:35,792 you know, and that was the last time I ever saw her, 190 00:08:35,876 --> 00:08:37,542 you know. 191 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,083 I went to my office. I was working all day. 192 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,667 I had clients in from out of town. 193 00:08:44,751 --> 00:08:47,042 All day long, it was just radio silence. 194 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:49,709 I couldn't get ahold of her through email, 195 00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,209 cell phone, landline. 196 00:08:52,292 --> 00:08:54,375 The nanny hadn't heard from her. 197 00:08:54,459 --> 00:08:56,876 Nobody was in contact with her, 198 00:08:56,959 --> 00:09:00,042 and that was incredibly atypical. 199 00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:02,792 There's an intuition 200 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,959 that something really awful has happened. 201 00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:11,000 A friend of mine and I were going to do an event together, 202 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:12,792 and I said to him, you know, "We got to go downtown 203 00:09:12,876 --> 00:09:14,626 "and check on Adrienne, because I haven't heard 204 00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:15,959 "from her all day, and I-- I just-- 205 00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:17,918 there's something that's just not right." 206 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,417 - You were definitely... 207 00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,125 wound a little tight on the way over-- 208 00:09:22,209 --> 00:09:23,959 on the drive over from the office. 209 00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:26,751 And I was trying to calm you down, 210 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:27,876 you know, trying to think of different scenarios 211 00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:30,209 or reasons why you wouldn't have heard from her. 212 00:09:30,292 --> 00:09:33,250 And then we pulled in front of the bus stop, 213 00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:35,083 and I said, "Just leave the car running. 214 00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,417 I'll wait here." 215 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,459 [tense music] 216 00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:44,667 - She wasn't answering the intercom. 217 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,626 Went up to the fourth floor, banged on the door, 218 00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:49,834 calling her name--nothing. 219 00:09:49,918 --> 00:09:53,000 And I try the door, and it just popped open. 220 00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:55,709 And that's when the real panic set in. 221 00:09:55,792 --> 00:09:57,417 It was just palpable. 222 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:01,125 It was just weird how the room was just still, 223 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:04,209 and CNN was on, and Wolf Blitzer was talking. 224 00:10:04,292 --> 00:10:07,667 But it was low, and you could just tell. 225 00:10:07,751 --> 00:10:10,000 It was like there was evil in that room. 226 00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:12,083 Really, like, that's what I felt. 227 00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:15,792 I felt that there had been a monster in that place. 228 00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:21,083 - And my phone rings, and you said, 229 00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:24,083 "Brian, get up here. Adrienne's dead." 230 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:27,125 - I just remember thinking in that moment, like, 231 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,834 "Is-- is this really happening? 232 00:10:29,918 --> 00:10:31,459 This is not how it's supposed to"-- 233 00:10:31,542 --> 00:10:32,876 like, I was supposed to go there 234 00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:34,709 and find her, like, talking outside, 235 00:10:34,792 --> 00:10:37,751 and, "Oh, Andy, I'm so sorry," like-- 236 00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:40,709 like, I wasn't supposed to find her dead. 237 00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:50,250 - Someone had said, "Andy is, um, at the police station. 238 00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:52,500 They think that she had killed herself." 239 00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:55,042 I just remember in my-- in my mind, thinking... 240 00:10:56,751 --> 00:10:58,375 "Sophie. There's Sophie. 241 00:10:58,459 --> 00:11:00,167 She would never! Never." 242 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,667 And I remember thinking, "My mom! 243 00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:03,667 She would never leave my mother." 244 00:11:03,751 --> 00:11:05,542 - This was the time of her life! 245 00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:06,667 This was it! 246 00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:10,542 This is what she waited her whole life to have. 247 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,292 And she's gonna kill herself? 248 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,542 - Friday, I saw the "New York Post" 249 00:11:16,626 --> 00:11:18,751 and the story they had written. 250 00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:21,042 So I called up Sixth Precinct, 251 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,209 and I asked to speak to the detective, 252 00:11:23,292 --> 00:11:25,000 and they told me he had gone for the weekend. 253 00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:26,250 I said, "That's fine, just give me someone else 254 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:27,417 who's working the case." 255 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,959 "There's nobody else working the case." 256 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,542 And he said, "Sorry, pal, 257 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,375 "I know this is not what you want to hear, 258 00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:37,042 but as far as we're concerned, it's a suicide." 259 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:38,667 It's almost like the grief 260 00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:40,375 and everything that I had been feeling 261 00:11:40,459 --> 00:11:42,042 just sort of, like, pshoo, 262 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,250 just-- just moved away. 263 00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:45,876 And this other thing took over. 264 00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:49,042 this, like, combat mode of like, 265 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,000 she's not here to fight for herself. 266 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:52,292 I've gotta fight for her. 267 00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:55,667 My wife did not kill herself. 268 00:11:55,751 --> 00:11:58,334 - Andy Ostroy says his wife's death on Wednesday 269 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:01,626 is suspicious and not a simple case of suicide, 270 00:12:01,709 --> 00:12:03,209 despite media headlines that proclaim 271 00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:06,292 that Adrienne Shelly, the beautiful blonde actress, 272 00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:08,918 took her own life inside apartment 47 273 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,876 here in this Greenwich Village apartment building. 274 00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:13,751 - There are emails, phone conversations 275 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,375 that took place almost up until the time of the-- 276 00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:17,626 of the tragedy itself. 277 00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:19,500 She was making plans with our friends for the weekend, 278 00:12:19,584 --> 00:12:21,918 dropping off things to our daughter's school. 279 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,250 That little girl has to grow up knowing the truth. 280 00:12:27,209 --> 00:12:29,709 Everything changed the next morning. 281 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:32,334 I get a call from Detective Jimmy Piccione 282 00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:34,042 of Manhattan South Homicide. 283 00:12:34,125 --> 00:12:36,250 "Can you come in and talk with us?" 284 00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:39,292 He showed me photos of her apartment, 285 00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:43,209 of her desk, of her purse, her computer. 286 00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:46,209 And then he showed me a picture of the knot. 287 00:12:46,292 --> 00:12:49,792 And he asked me if she knew how to make a--a knot like that. 288 00:12:49,876 --> 00:12:52,751 And I told him, uh, no-- 289 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,626 and I got angry in that moment, 'cause I had-- 290 00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,125 and I said to him-- I flipped it back and said, 291 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,500 "Do you know how to make a knot like this?" 292 00:12:58,584 --> 00:12:59,792 And he said, "No." 293 00:12:59,876 --> 00:13:02,125 That day, I also called Dr. Michael Baden, 294 00:13:02,209 --> 00:13:05,334 who's a world-renowned forensic pathologist, 295 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:07,542 so he was scheduled to do an autopsy 296 00:13:07,626 --> 00:13:08,792 the next day, Saturday. 297 00:13:08,876 --> 00:13:13,334 I remember getting the call from Baden that Saturday 298 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,542 and hearing him say, "She fought like an animal." 299 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:19,250 - She had bruises on her body, bruises on her face, 300 00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:23,042 forehead, mostly left side of the face, 301 00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:27,167 and, um, inju-- injuries to her hands, 302 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:30,250 uh, which would indicate a struggle. 303 00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:32,834 We don't see that in suicides. 304 00:13:32,918 --> 00:13:35,375 - Everything I wanted so desperately 305 00:13:35,459 --> 00:13:37,209 was being given to me in that moment. 306 00:13:37,292 --> 00:13:40,083 Like, she didn't kill herself. Like, here it is. 307 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,459 Here's this-- here's some proof. 308 00:13:42,542 --> 00:13:44,334 And then just immediately, 309 00:13:44,417 --> 00:13:47,834 I'm starting to envision what did happen. 310 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,626 There she is. - Where? 311 00:13:57,709 --> 00:14:00,918 Oh. - Love that quote. 312 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,417 - "Don't be afraid of dying. Be afraid of never living." 313 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:05,584 - True dat. 314 00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:08,083 You're almost the same age as her here. 315 00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:17,918 Oh, Lennon, your mother loved John Lennon. 316 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,792 What are you feeling as you're going through this stuff? 317 00:14:20,876 --> 00:14:23,209 - It's interesting. 318 00:14:23,292 --> 00:14:27,042 Just, like, learning more about, like, who she was. 319 00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:28,876 - Look at that. What does that say? 320 00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:31,083 Soph. - What is it? 321 00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:32,542 - "I hate camp. Take me home." 322 00:14:32,626 --> 00:14:33,500 - Oh-- oh. 323 00:14:33,584 --> 00:14:34,500 - Boy, that sounds familiar, huh? 324 00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:35,709 - Did she hate camp? 325 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,334 [gasps] What? 326 00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:40,375 - "Allison is my new, nice friend. 327 00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:41,792 She hates it here too." 328 00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:43,626 That's literally-- oh, my God. 329 00:14:43,709 --> 00:14:45,125 - I've literally gotten that letter from you. 330 00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:47,167 - Gotta take that home, Andy. 331 00:14:47,876 --> 00:14:50,125 - Oh, that's a beautiful face, Mrs. Levine. 332 00:14:50,209 --> 00:14:52,626 Do you have any tips on how other families could 333 00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:56,459 reach the level of intelligence that yours has? 334 00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,292 - [laughs] - Is that all you have to say? 335 00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,417 Okay. 336 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,876 - The day she was born was beautiful. 337 00:15:02,959 --> 00:15:06,334 She was so beautiful, that chubby little face, 338 00:15:06,417 --> 00:15:08,751 those cheeks, that little mouth. 339 00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:11,834 Beautiful eyes-- she was beautiful. 340 00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:15,751 And she looked exactly like Shelly, my first husband. 341 00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:18,292 The exact same face, so of course, 342 00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,542 my husband was thrilled. 343 00:15:19,626 --> 00:15:20,667 You know what? 344 00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,792 She really knew what she wanted. 345 00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:24,042 From when she was five years old, 346 00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:26,125 when she was in kindergarten, "Guys and Dolls," 347 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,334 that was the play. 348 00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:28,792 It was so cute. 349 00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:30,125 Every year, they had plays, 350 00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:32,167 and she was always in everything. 351 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:34,959 She always, always stood out. 352 00:15:35,042 --> 00:15:37,542 It was always Adrienne, like-- whew! 353 00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,959 - My crib was actually in-- in Adrienne's room. 354 00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:41,959 I was actually one of her dolls. 355 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,334 That's how she treated me. 356 00:15:43,417 --> 00:15:45,375 Adrienne used to like to dress me up. 357 00:15:45,459 --> 00:15:47,834 My father was still alive at the point, 358 00:15:47,918 --> 00:15:48,959 and I remember he was like, 359 00:15:49,042 --> 00:15:50,959 "What are you dressing him in that--in that crap?" 360 00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:53,125 Adrienne just said, "I don't know, it looks cute." 361 00:15:57,042 --> 00:16:01,709 - Adrienne had a lot of fear about dying young. 362 00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:02,792 Shelly, whose name she took 363 00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:06,334 when she started working professionally, um, 364 00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:08,417 when she was 12 years old and away at sleepaway camp, 365 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,876 he died of a massive heart attack. 366 00:16:14,292 --> 00:16:17,375 Which left her with feelings of her own mortality, uh, 367 00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:19,918 of, you know, "Am I gonna die young? 368 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,918 "If I die young and I have a child, 369 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,292 what-- what does that do?" 370 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:29,167 When she was 12, that was the summer when Shelly died. 371 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,250 - Yes. It was a horrible time. 372 00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,500 And I remember sitting on the bed with them 373 00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:36,000 and holding the three of them, and I said, 374 00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:38,459 "We're gonna get through it. I promise you-- 375 00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:41,292 I promise you we will get through it." 376 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,709 - This is an odd thing you and I have in common, 377 00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:43,751 I just realized. 378 00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:45,083 - What was that? What do we-- 379 00:16:45,167 --> 00:16:46,918 - Telling little kids that... - Oh! 380 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:47,918 - Mommy or Daddy's not coming home anymore. 381 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,417 - Hello. Right. 382 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,918 She went into a funk. - Uh-huh. 383 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,667 - She really did. She became very quiet. 384 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,584 - "I wonder just how much of life is spent in mourning. 385 00:16:57,667 --> 00:17:00,542 "It seems I mourn daily over something or other. 386 00:17:00,626 --> 00:17:02,918 "Even when I am not mourning over a person, 387 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,417 "I am mourning over my own inadequacies-- 388 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,709 "my feeble height, my heavy thighs, 389 00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:10,500 my incessant fears, my habits." 390 00:17:10,584 --> 00:17:12,250 - I didn't know her when her father died. 391 00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:13,459 - Mm-hmm. - I remember 392 00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:16,042 we were in my house, and I don't remember exactly how 393 00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:17,542 she started talking about him. 394 00:17:17,626 --> 00:17:19,751 She never talked about him, really. 395 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,000 And she started crying. And I hugged her. 396 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,459 And it was kind of just a moment where I just 397 00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:26,500 held her and hugged her while she cried. 398 00:17:26,584 --> 00:17:28,125 And then she revealed to me after that 399 00:17:28,209 --> 00:17:30,459 that was the first time she cried to anybody... 400 00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:32,834 - Mm. - About him. 401 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:35,292 And, um, well, we were already 16. 402 00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:40,584 - Were there ever times when you just come in 403 00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,584 and you close the door and you cry? 404 00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,167 - No. 405 00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:46,584 I haven't cried in a while. 406 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,250 Like, I don't cry about it. - Mm-hmm. 407 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,125 - I don't really show my emotions. 408 00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:52,292 - Mm-hmm. 409 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:55,209 Do you ever worry that that's not healthy for you? 410 00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:58,083 - Yeah. It's not. 411 00:17:58,167 --> 00:17:59,918 - How do you think it's not healthy? 412 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,834 - 'Cause you need to let it out. 413 00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:04,709 I haven't had, like, a-- like, a cry... 414 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,792 - Mm-hmm. 415 00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:08,167 - In, like, years. - Mm-hmm. 416 00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,375 - I don't even remember. 417 00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:12,209 - Whee! 418 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,626 Whee! - Whoo! 419 00:18:14,709 --> 00:18:16,167 - Wanna sing the alphabet song with me? 420 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:17,334 - Yes. - Okay. 421 00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:22,042 both: A, B, C, D, E, F, G 422 00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:24,876 - I'd gone to a psychiatrist to... 423 00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:26,500 find out how-- what do I say 424 00:18:26,584 --> 00:18:30,083 to a kid who's not even three? 425 00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:33,751 They can't really handle much, so it's just very specific, 426 00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:36,584 you know, "Mommy died. 427 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,584 "Her body stopped working. 428 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,834 She's not coming home anymore." 429 00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:43,459 That's it. 430 00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:45,459 And so that's what I told her. 431 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,417 And then I remember she walked over to the window, 432 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:52,375 and she just stared out the window, and I was beside her. 433 00:18:52,459 --> 00:18:53,834 She just... 434 00:18:55,417 --> 00:18:59,709 Turned to me and said, "Mommy died. 435 00:18:59,792 --> 00:19:02,125 She's not coming back." 436 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:06,500 Then I said, "Nope, she's not coming back." 437 00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:09,292 And she just stared right out the window. 438 00:19:11,626 --> 00:19:13,459 And that was it. 439 00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:24,209 Over the years, Sophie and I had what I thought 440 00:19:24,292 --> 00:19:27,042 were incredibly deep conversations about Adrienne. 441 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,792 I felt it was important in those moments 442 00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:32,209 to capture them forever. 443 00:19:32,292 --> 00:19:35,834 So I copied them down verbatim. 444 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,417 - I really miss Mommy. 445 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,584 - I know, sweetie. 446 00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:41,918 What made you think of that just now? 447 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,250 - I just miss being with her. 448 00:19:43,334 --> 00:19:45,375 It makes me cry. 449 00:19:45,459 --> 00:19:47,417 We used to do stuff together, and I miss her. 450 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,417 - I know. I wish I could have saved her. 451 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,667 It's so unfair. - Especially to me, 452 00:19:51,751 --> 00:19:54,375 because everybody else has a mommy, and I don't. 453 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,042 I wonder what it's like to have a mom. 454 00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:01,000 [soft music] 455 00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:13,834 - She was probably one of the most 456 00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:15,500 loyal friends I've ever had. 457 00:20:15,584 --> 00:20:19,209 She was fiercely loyal and supportive. 458 00:20:20,209 --> 00:20:22,125 - Did Adrienne perform here? - No. 459 00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:23,626 I don't remember Adrienne here. - Yes, she did. 460 00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:24,626 - She did? - She did. 461 00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:25,626 - I thought it was the other theater. 462 00:20:25,709 --> 00:20:26,751 - No. She did--they did, um... 463 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,167 - She did here? - I'm gonna guess 464 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,626 it was "Pippin." 465 00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:42,417 - You got it? Let's see. 466 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,250 Oh, right. 467 00:20:44,334 --> 00:20:47,459 - Did she call herself Adrienne Shelly in 1984? 468 00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:49,959 - Anytime she could use Shelly's name, she did. 469 00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,000 - Mm-hmm. 470 00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:54,167 - Andy, do me a favor. - What? 471 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:56,918 - Put your hand together with me here. 472 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,834 Okay. It's for Sophie too. 473 00:20:59,918 --> 00:21:02,250 Love you, A. Love you. 474 00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:10,292 [gentle piano music playing] 475 00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:11,959 - She was great on the piano. 476 00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:13,334 She could play anything by ear. 477 00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:15,626 I don't remember her taking piano lessons. 478 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,959 She could just get on and play and sing. 479 00:21:18,042 --> 00:21:19,125 It was quite amazing. 480 00:21:19,209 --> 00:21:20,834 - And it's good to know 481 00:21:20,918 --> 00:21:26,500 My best friend has come home again 482 00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:29,292 - We met through our ninth grade chorus class. 483 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,584 The teacher clearly recognized Adrienne's voice 484 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,709 and gave her a solo. 485 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:38,209 And I remember hearing this voice-- 486 00:21:38,292 --> 00:21:42,042 like, she belted it, and, uh, it was unreal. 487 00:21:42,125 --> 00:21:48,876 - Come in from the rain 488 00:21:49,626 --> 00:21:52,876 - That was really the first time where you could tell 489 00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:55,334 that this was something she was really serious about. 490 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,751 - Um, Adrienne Lauren Levine. 491 00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:03,751 - We kept in touch all through college, 492 00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:06,876 even though we were, you know, in separate locations, 493 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,334 and I actually remember, junior year, 494 00:22:08,417 --> 00:22:11,000 she called me to tell me she was leaving college. 495 00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:13,876 She was running it by me before she had told her mom. 496 00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,626 - Really? - Yes. 497 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:16,918 - What was your an--uh... - She said-- 498 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,083 - Advice? - She called me up, she says, 499 00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:20,751 "I think I wanna drop out of college 500 00:22:20,834 --> 00:22:22,250 "and move to New York and become an actress. 501 00:22:22,334 --> 00:22:24,209 What do you think?" 502 00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:26,250 So I said, "Oh-- well, if that's..." 503 00:22:26,334 --> 00:22:28,083 - Sounds logical. - "What you want to do." 504 00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:30,918 She's like, "Well, I-- I'm nervous to tell my mom." 505 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,751 - And I said, "Oh, what are you talking about? 506 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,792 You have one more year." 507 00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:37,876 "Ma, I wanna-- I know what I want. 508 00:22:37,959 --> 00:22:40,083 "It's-- it's such a calling for me. 509 00:22:40,167 --> 00:22:42,542 It's--it's-- it's my calling." 510 00:22:44,334 --> 00:22:46,209 - "Well, I'm doing it. 511 00:22:46,292 --> 00:22:48,083 "I'm leaving school. It's all done. 512 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,042 "All of a sudden, I've taken a huge risk. 513 00:22:51,125 --> 00:22:53,375 "I face a new jungle now, with strange faces, 514 00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:58,250 situations, rejections, and joys I can't even imagine." 515 00:23:01,209 --> 00:23:04,834 "June 7, 1987. Happy June. 516 00:23:04,918 --> 00:23:07,459 "Happy month of my 21st year. 517 00:23:07,542 --> 00:23:09,125 "New York has given me much 518 00:23:09,209 --> 00:23:11,292 "in the four months I've lived here. 519 00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:14,459 "It has virtually ended the long depression sessions, 520 00:23:14,542 --> 00:23:17,792 "which were once a signature characteristic. 521 00:23:17,876 --> 00:23:19,751 "It has taught me a lot about myself 522 00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:23,417 that I wouldn't have learned, not for a while, without it." 523 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:26,459 [soaring music] 524 00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:34,959 - She sent her headshot out to hundreds of people. 525 00:23:35,042 --> 00:23:37,918 One showed up and my office, and I liked it. 526 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,417 - She got the part right away. 527 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,083 And I said, "Oh, we did right. We did right." 528 00:23:45,417 --> 00:23:46,500 - It happened quickly. 529 00:23:46,584 --> 00:23:50,292 Like, in no time, she was now the star 530 00:23:50,375 --> 00:23:55,042 of this indie cult film. 531 00:23:55,125 --> 00:23:57,542 - Adrienne was the first actress 532 00:23:57,626 --> 00:23:58,834 that I was asked to read with. 533 00:23:58,918 --> 00:24:00,626 Hal had already given me the role. 534 00:24:00,709 --> 00:24:02,667 - Hi. - Hello. 535 00:24:02,751 --> 00:24:04,626 - Can I help you find something? 536 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,626 - This I remember more than anything. 537 00:24:06,709 --> 00:24:09,083 Her evaluating me. She doesn't have the role. 538 00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:11,042 Do you work here? - I happen to be a big fan 539 00:24:11,125 --> 00:24:12,792 of George Washington myself. 540 00:24:12,876 --> 00:24:14,709 - Really? But she was just kind of 541 00:24:14,792 --> 00:24:16,792 giving me a-- you know, a once-over. 542 00:24:16,876 --> 00:24:18,792 - I can't help thinking that if he were alive today, 543 00:24:18,876 --> 00:24:20,751 doing the job he did then, 544 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,584 leading that particular revolution, 545 00:24:22,667 --> 00:24:25,042 he'd be locked up or worse. 546 00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:26,334 - Yeah, she was a complete unicorn 547 00:24:26,417 --> 00:24:27,375 as far as I was concerned. 548 00:24:27,459 --> 00:24:28,584 She scared me a little. 549 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:31,709 Um, she said certain things to me that totally unnerved me. 550 00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:33,834 - All of them-- Franklin, Payne, Jefferson, 551 00:24:33,918 --> 00:24:35,209 they'd be executed. 552 00:24:35,292 --> 00:24:38,709 - Well, maybe not executed. - Oh, don't put it past people. 553 00:24:38,792 --> 00:24:41,209 - Not in a bad way, just made me think. 554 00:24:41,292 --> 00:24:43,375 [mellow guitar music] 555 00:24:43,459 --> 00:24:45,584 - I hardly remember directing her at all, 556 00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:47,334 because once I cast her, 557 00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:49,667 I just didn't have to worry about her at all. 558 00:24:49,751 --> 00:24:51,000 She always knew her lines. 559 00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:53,167 She was always funny in the right way. 560 00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:54,792 She was consistent. 561 00:24:54,876 --> 00:24:56,709 She was perfect for that role. 562 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,834 The Toronto Film Festival selected it, 563 00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:03,459 and it was a big hit there, 564 00:25:03,542 --> 00:25:05,417 and that's where everything started. 565 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:07,918 Miramax bought the rights to it. 566 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,542 In that company was Harvey Weinstein. 567 00:25:10,626 --> 00:25:12,250 It's always an argument. 568 00:25:12,334 --> 00:25:14,125 He wanted me to recut the film, 569 00:25:14,209 --> 00:25:19,209 particularly to add some degree of nudity with Adrienne. 570 00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:23,083 And I was like, "No. The film as it is, is fine." 571 00:25:23,167 --> 00:25:24,709 - Dad, give me $5. 572 00:25:24,792 --> 00:25:25,709 - Listen to me, young lady, 573 00:25:25,792 --> 00:25:27,375 I've had just about all I'm gonna take. 574 00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:29,792 - Mom, what's he talkin' about? Give me $5. 575 00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:32,375 Well, "The Unbelievable Truth" was my first film. 576 00:25:32,459 --> 00:25:35,000 And--and "Trust" was my second film. 577 00:25:36,834 --> 00:25:39,000 - Come back here a minute. 578 00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:42,876 - First one was so much easier for me to make, 579 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:45,209 because it was closer to who I actually am. 580 00:25:46,584 --> 00:25:50,292 She's your typical pregnant high school teenager... 581 00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:53,542 - Whose baby? - Yours, you jerk! 582 00:25:53,626 --> 00:25:55,584 - Who accidentally kills her father 583 00:25:55,667 --> 00:25:57,292 in the first scene of the movie. 584 00:26:00,042 --> 00:26:01,459 - She seemed to be the centerpiece 585 00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:03,125 to a lot of Hal's films. 586 00:26:03,209 --> 00:26:06,125 I was like, "God, if--maybe she's his muse in a way." 587 00:26:06,209 --> 00:26:08,918 And there was something kind of ethereal about Adrienne. 588 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,918 I mean, she looked like a doll. 589 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,584 - It was just young people learning the ropes 590 00:26:13,667 --> 00:26:15,209 of being in the entertainment business 591 00:26:15,292 --> 00:26:16,918 and some of the uglier parts of it. 592 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,459 And also very good parts too. 593 00:26:21,167 --> 00:26:23,918 By the time we arrived in Toronto 594 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,334 for the opening night premiere of "Trust," 595 00:26:27,417 --> 00:26:28,876 she was kind of a star. 596 00:26:28,959 --> 00:26:31,626 [Blondie's "Dreaming"] 597 00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:59,292 - When I met you in a restaurant 598 00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:00,626 - When you're starting out as an actor, 599 00:27:00,709 --> 00:27:03,626 the odds of something like what happened to Adrienne... 600 00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:04,834 - Right, she was, like, an overnight-- 601 00:27:04,918 --> 00:27:06,167 - Happening so, so fast-- yes. 602 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:10,167 And she was very conflicted about it as well, 603 00:27:10,250 --> 00:27:12,417 because it is overwhelming. 604 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,876 I mean, suddenly she's on the cover of "Interview" magazine, 605 00:27:14,959 --> 00:27:18,709 and filmmakers are calling her, and she just-- 606 00:27:18,792 --> 00:27:21,209 I don't think she was prepared for how big-- 607 00:27:21,292 --> 00:27:24,334 I don't think anyone was--how big that film was going to be. 608 00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:29,209 - Dreaming, dreaming 609 00:27:29,292 --> 00:27:32,834 - After we premiered "Trust," she immediately went to LA 610 00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:34,042 to do a movie. 611 00:27:34,125 --> 00:27:37,792 She was getting really good roles. 612 00:27:37,876 --> 00:27:40,834 - I really like it. - What? 613 00:27:40,918 --> 00:27:43,209 - Your work. 614 00:27:43,292 --> 00:27:46,459 Reminds me of a dream I once had. 615 00:27:47,918 --> 00:27:52,209 - Stephanie, that's just a blank canvas. 616 00:27:54,292 --> 00:27:55,834 - Yeah. 617 00:27:57,792 --> 00:28:00,584 - There was one-- some sort of glamorous opening 618 00:28:00,667 --> 00:28:02,292 that she was invited to, and she took us, 619 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:03,834 and all of these people-- really, she was, like, 620 00:28:03,918 --> 00:28:05,918 their darling, and she really didn't want 621 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,334 that much to do with it. 622 00:28:09,959 --> 00:28:12,334 - Hi, everybody. - She was a little dismissive 623 00:28:12,417 --> 00:28:14,959 of the movies she was making. 624 00:28:15,042 --> 00:28:16,334 They were a means to an end. 625 00:28:16,417 --> 00:28:18,375 - She did a lot of really crappy movies... 626 00:28:18,459 --> 00:28:20,042 - Yeah, yeah. - In the '90s. 627 00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:24,500 None of them really showcased who she was. 628 00:28:24,584 --> 00:28:26,167 - Well, a lot of times, they liked to showcase her 629 00:28:26,250 --> 00:28:27,209 as the sexpot. 630 00:28:27,292 --> 00:28:30,709 - Right. - And as sexy as Adrienne was, 631 00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:32,584 that's not her persona. 632 00:28:33,083 --> 00:28:37,918 - I have a--you know, a certain interest in self-respect 633 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:42,959 that, uh, being an actor, there's a lot of, um, 634 00:28:43,042 --> 00:28:47,250 people who would like to squelch that. 635 00:28:47,334 --> 00:28:49,250 Like, I get a call in the car from my agent, 636 00:28:49,334 --> 00:28:51,792 and he's like, "Okay, listen. 637 00:28:51,876 --> 00:28:54,125 "Here's the thing that-- that's really important 638 00:28:54,209 --> 00:28:56,918 to these people is that you be fuckable." 639 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,417 I get in the room, and there's these two great women, 640 00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:01,292 and they're so nice, and they're wonderful. 641 00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:03,584 And I'm like, "What, they don't care if I'm fuckable. 642 00:29:03,667 --> 00:29:05,584 They don't care," you know, and they're just friendly 643 00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:08,792 and, "Oh, we love your work," and I'm like, "Oh, thanks." 644 00:29:08,876 --> 00:29:11,042 And then this man walks in. 645 00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:13,167 And I swear to you, 646 00:29:13,250 --> 00:29:15,209 he looked like Mr. Potato Head. 647 00:29:15,292 --> 00:29:18,042 He walks in and he looks right at my tits. 648 00:29:18,125 --> 00:29:20,834 Not even--not even at my face. Just, like, right--and I'm-- 649 00:29:20,918 --> 00:29:24,834 and I saw in his face that there was no way 650 00:29:24,918 --> 00:29:28,000 that I was gonna get this part, because he didn't like my tits. 651 00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:33,667 I think I spent a lot of my 20s 652 00:29:33,751 --> 00:29:38,459 as if I were in some dark adventure of some kind, 653 00:29:38,542 --> 00:29:41,542 not really feeling myself alive. 654 00:29:41,626 --> 00:29:46,459 And I feel, like, a real desire to... 655 00:29:46,542 --> 00:29:52,125 not... live my life that way anymore. 656 00:29:52,209 --> 00:29:57,709 That I... live more consciously. 657 00:29:57,792 --> 00:29:59,709 - I got a call out of the blue that said, "Do you want to be 658 00:29:59,792 --> 00:30:01,542 in this theater company that I'm starting?" 659 00:30:01,626 --> 00:30:04,083 It was an unusual choice to suddenly deicide, 660 00:30:04,167 --> 00:30:06,375 "I want to do theater and I'm gonna start a theater company, 661 00:30:06,459 --> 00:30:08,876 and I'm gonna pay for it and produce it," and-- 662 00:30:08,959 --> 00:30:12,209 and she did, and-- and, um, we did this series 663 00:30:12,292 --> 00:30:14,626 of one-acts that we all wrote. 664 00:30:14,709 --> 00:30:16,667 [whimsical music] 665 00:30:16,751 --> 00:30:19,500 - "October 7, 1993. 666 00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:21,876 "I'm sitting in a diner freaked beyond belief 667 00:30:21,959 --> 00:30:25,834 "because 'Morgan Fitting In' is having a stage reading tonight, 668 00:30:25,918 --> 00:30:28,334 "and it is not very well cast. 669 00:30:28,417 --> 00:30:30,792 "Carla is just wrong, wrong, wrong. 670 00:30:30,876 --> 00:30:32,918 "A lot of people will be here. 671 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,876 "People I don't want to fail in front of. 672 00:30:34,959 --> 00:30:37,626 "What have we learned here? The answer: 673 00:30:37,709 --> 00:30:39,918 "write it and direct it yourself. 674 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,417 "You are too much of a control freak 675 00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:43,334 "for this ever to be pleasant. 676 00:30:43,417 --> 00:30:45,751 "So embrace the fact that you are a control freak, 677 00:30:45,834 --> 00:30:47,250 "and control. 678 00:30:47,334 --> 00:30:49,500 "Amazing that you ever became an actress, 679 00:30:49,584 --> 00:30:51,459 "wherein people would want to control you. 680 00:30:51,542 --> 00:30:52,626 Weird." 681 00:30:52,709 --> 00:30:55,125 - I know these things. I'm a psychoanalyst. 682 00:30:55,209 --> 00:30:58,584 - You are not. - Am so, a psychoanalyst. 683 00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:02,417 I know everything about the human condition. 684 00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:04,959 - I remember... [laughs] 685 00:31:05,042 --> 00:31:08,417 Going to her door and dropping off food 686 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,209 when she'd be writing a script, because-- 687 00:31:10,292 --> 00:31:12,751 and she would open the door just like this, 'cause, 688 00:31:12,834 --> 00:31:14,876 you know, maybe her place wasn't the neatest. 689 00:31:14,959 --> 00:31:17,334 - You know she was a little sloppy? 690 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:20,042 [laughs] - Is that a serious question? 691 00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:21,584 - We weren't allowed in Adrienne's room. 692 00:31:21,667 --> 00:31:23,918 - Yeah--oh! That's funny. 693 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,459 That--that's very funny. - Well, I wasn't allowed 694 00:31:25,542 --> 00:31:26,959 in Adrienne's apartment when I met her. 695 00:31:27,042 --> 00:31:28,125 - Yeah. - Literally. 696 00:31:28,209 --> 00:31:29,292 - Probably for the same reason. - For the same reason. 697 00:31:29,375 --> 00:31:31,459 And the crazy thing is, Sophie is exactly like her. 698 00:31:31,542 --> 00:31:33,751 - Oh, wow. - Literally. 699 00:31:33,834 --> 00:31:36,250 - She had this scheme once 700 00:31:36,334 --> 00:31:40,167 where she was gonna sell stuff on eBay 701 00:31:40,250 --> 00:31:43,417 that she, like, got in thrift stores 702 00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:44,542 and Goodwill and stuff. 703 00:31:44,626 --> 00:31:46,876 So on top of all the mess, 704 00:31:46,959 --> 00:31:48,250 now you walked in there, 705 00:31:48,334 --> 00:31:51,209 and her entire dining room was, like, lamps-- 706 00:31:51,292 --> 00:31:54,709 - Now she's a businesswoman. - Yeah, now she's a bus-- 707 00:31:54,792 --> 00:31:57,250 No, "I'm gonna sell these. I'm selling them on eBay." 708 00:31:57,334 --> 00:32:00,459 - A tornado of things every-- you don't even know 709 00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:03,000 how things would--would get-- hanging off the ceiling. 710 00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:04,792 It was just everywhere. 711 00:32:04,876 --> 00:32:06,626 And it was great. It was great. 712 00:32:06,709 --> 00:32:08,918 I mean, a lot of creative people are messy. 713 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,167 - Yeah. - She's, uh, not-- 714 00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:12,626 you know, she's an alien. 715 00:32:12,709 --> 00:32:14,584 - Right. 716 00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:17,667 - She was like an old lady in a hot chick's body. 717 00:32:17,751 --> 00:32:19,834 - That kind of personality 718 00:32:19,918 --> 00:32:23,167 that was sort of shut in for four days 719 00:32:23,250 --> 00:32:25,626 and really focused 720 00:32:25,709 --> 00:32:27,959 is not necessarily the same kind of person 721 00:32:28,042 --> 00:32:29,792 that's gonna be just schmoozing and schmoozing 722 00:32:29,876 --> 00:32:32,125 and just trying to always get a job. 723 00:32:32,209 --> 00:32:35,959 I think the visionary in her was actually an introvert. 724 00:32:36,042 --> 00:32:39,250 And it allowed her to really accomplish 725 00:32:39,334 --> 00:32:42,584 a lot in a very short period of time. 726 00:32:44,125 --> 00:32:48,083 - So then she did a reading of the first movie she made, 727 00:32:48,167 --> 00:32:50,542 not the shorts, but "Sudden Manhattan." 728 00:32:50,626 --> 00:32:52,209 - Mm-hmm. - And I mean, 729 00:32:52,292 --> 00:32:54,250 money wasn't coming through, and I said something 730 00:32:54,334 --> 00:32:55,834 like, "Well, you know, it's your first movie. 731 00:32:55,918 --> 00:32:57,083 "Like, maybe this'll be a sample. 732 00:32:57,167 --> 00:32:58,083 "This is your first screenplay. 733 00:32:58,167 --> 00:32:59,584 Like, the next one'll get made." 734 00:32:59,667 --> 00:33:00,876 And she just looked at me, and she was like, 735 00:33:00,959 --> 00:33:03,000 "I don't have that kind of time." 736 00:33:03,083 --> 00:33:06,000 [tense music] 737 00:33:17,918 --> 00:33:19,709 - I remember sitting with my friends Liz and Nathan. 738 00:33:19,792 --> 00:33:22,125 They had come in from Los Angeles. 739 00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:23,709 Liz was Adrienne's best friend. 740 00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:26,792 Nathan was one of my best friends. 741 00:33:26,876 --> 00:33:29,292 They had a baby two days after we did. 742 00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:31,709 We were real close. 743 00:33:31,792 --> 00:33:33,250 - My phone rang, my cell phone rang. 744 00:33:33,334 --> 00:33:36,042 And, uh, I glanced at it, and it was you. 745 00:33:36,125 --> 00:33:37,375 And then you just went right into-- 746 00:33:37,459 --> 00:33:39,375 you said, "Listen, I've-- I've got terrible news, 747 00:33:39,459 --> 00:33:41,125 horrible news." 748 00:33:41,209 --> 00:33:43,417 Just like that, "Terrible news, horrible news. 749 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:47,834 Adrienne, she's--she-- she died, she--she's dead." 750 00:33:49,292 --> 00:33:51,834 - I just remember I fell to the ground, 751 00:33:51,918 --> 00:33:54,709 and I started screaming. 752 00:33:54,792 --> 00:33:56,542 I mean, screaming to the point that, like, 753 00:33:56,626 --> 00:33:59,542 some neighbors said that they could hear me that night. 754 00:33:59,626 --> 00:34:01,250 - Wow. - Down the street. 755 00:34:01,334 --> 00:34:04,083 - We came to New York, um, 756 00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:05,751 and I remember when we were getting on the flight, 757 00:34:05,834 --> 00:34:07,459 I was on the phone with you and you were--you know, 758 00:34:07,542 --> 00:34:09,667 you were in--you were in attack mode, you were in-- 759 00:34:09,751 --> 00:34:11,959 it was good to hear you-- 760 00:34:12,042 --> 00:34:13,792 at least you had that to focus on. 761 00:34:13,876 --> 00:34:15,584 It was time to go, it was, like, 2:00 in the morning, 762 00:34:15,667 --> 00:34:16,834 and we opened the door and we were heading out, 763 00:34:16,918 --> 00:34:19,626 and you stopped, you said, "You know what my dream is? 764 00:34:19,709 --> 00:34:23,584 That they call me and say, 'We've made an arrest.'" 765 00:34:27,042 --> 00:34:30,542 - And at 6:00 or 6:30 the next morning, 766 00:34:30,626 --> 00:34:33,667 I got a call from Detective Piccione. 767 00:34:33,751 --> 00:34:37,417 He said, "Andrew, can you come downstairs in ten minutes? 768 00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:38,751 We need to talk with you." 769 00:34:38,834 --> 00:34:41,918 And then one unmarked car pulled up. 770 00:34:43,292 --> 00:34:45,083 Uh, Jimmy and his partner got out 771 00:34:45,167 --> 00:34:48,667 and said, "Andrew, we arrested the guy who killed Adrienne." 772 00:34:51,417 --> 00:34:54,209 - Police now say the death of actress Adrienne Shelly 773 00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:56,500 was murder, not suicide. 774 00:34:56,584 --> 00:34:58,542 Now a construction worker is under arrest. 775 00:34:58,626 --> 00:35:01,000 - Diego Pillco confessed to the crime. 776 00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:02,667 Pillco had been renovating an apartment 777 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:04,042 in the Greenwich Village building 778 00:35:04,125 --> 00:35:06,500 where the 40-year-old actress had her office. 779 00:35:06,584 --> 00:35:09,083 - Diego Pillco was arrested after police allegedly 780 00:35:09,167 --> 00:35:11,626 matched his sneaker footprint to one found 781 00:35:11,709 --> 00:35:13,792 in the bathtub where Shelly was found hanging 782 00:35:13,876 --> 00:35:16,542 from a bedsheet tied to the shower curtain rod. 783 00:35:16,626 --> 00:35:18,459 - My control over my body just left, 784 00:35:18,542 --> 00:35:20,292 and I just dropped to the floor, 785 00:35:20,375 --> 00:35:22,918 and I started crying. 786 00:35:24,042 --> 00:35:26,751 Because it was everything I needed to hear. 787 00:35:30,751 --> 00:35:32,209 - Let's pretend Mommy's here. 788 00:35:32,292 --> 00:35:34,042 Hi, Mommy. 789 00:35:34,125 --> 00:35:35,542 - Mommy loved you very much. 790 00:35:35,626 --> 00:35:37,000 She didn't choose to leave us. 791 00:35:37,083 --> 00:35:39,250 She had an accident, and she died. 792 00:35:39,334 --> 00:35:40,876 - She peed in her pants? 793 00:35:40,959 --> 00:35:43,209 - No, a different kind of accident. 794 00:35:43,292 --> 00:35:45,375 - Mommy coming back soon? She's gonna get out 795 00:35:45,459 --> 00:35:47,334 of the elevator and knock on the door? 796 00:35:47,417 --> 00:35:48,709 - No. - Mommy come back 797 00:35:48,792 --> 00:35:50,167 when she's bigger and better? 798 00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:51,709 - No, Mommy wasn't sick. 799 00:35:51,792 --> 00:35:53,042 When you die, you don't come back. 800 00:35:53,125 --> 00:35:54,667 - She threw up and had a bellyache? 801 00:35:54,751 --> 00:35:56,459 - No. - What can we do for her? 802 00:35:56,542 --> 00:35:58,500 Give her chicken? Water? 803 00:35:58,584 --> 00:36:01,000 - No, there's nothing we can do for her now, sweetie. 804 00:36:01,083 --> 00:36:03,667 She's not coming back. 805 00:36:03,751 --> 00:36:06,292 I often think about what my life would've been like, 806 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:07,375 how I would have handled it 807 00:36:07,459 --> 00:36:10,042 if I had a different family situation. 808 00:36:11,667 --> 00:36:13,792 - I just kept thinking over and over, 809 00:36:13,876 --> 00:36:15,792 "What is Sophie gonna do?" 810 00:36:15,876 --> 00:36:18,459 Like, that was just--"What's gonna happen with Sophie?" 811 00:36:18,542 --> 00:36:21,959 It was just-- it was like a dagger. 812 00:36:22,042 --> 00:36:24,417 - I remember Sean, the first thing he did 813 00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:26,417 was come down here to Sophie. 814 00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:29,959 And I've talked to him about it, and he-- 815 00:36:30,042 --> 00:36:32,876 he said wasn't even, like, a thought. 816 00:36:32,959 --> 00:36:36,042 He just--he knew he had to be with Sophie. 817 00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:40,500 - He was only... 13 at the time or 12. 818 00:36:40,584 --> 00:36:44,417 And he immediately says, "I'm going to Sophie." 819 00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:47,042 And then, you know, that was the last night 820 00:36:47,125 --> 00:36:48,709 he lived with me. 821 00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:50,375 - I think I knew when I-- when I left, 822 00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:54,792 I was gonna start living here, which I ended up doing, but... 823 00:36:54,876 --> 00:36:59,292 I--I don't think I had any other thought but just Sophie. 824 00:36:59,375 --> 00:37:01,792 Like, "What's going on with her? 825 00:37:01,876 --> 00:37:04,209 "How's she gonna feel when she, you know, 826 00:37:04,292 --> 00:37:07,292 realizes what happened?" that kind of thing. 827 00:37:07,375 --> 00:37:08,751 - Go get a ball. 828 00:37:13,500 --> 00:37:16,083 - Hey, you! - Hi, Andy. 829 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:17,167 - Been a while. - How are you? 830 00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:19,083 I know. Hi. - Pretty good. 831 00:37:19,167 --> 00:37:20,584 Nice to see you. - Nice to see you too. 832 00:37:20,667 --> 00:37:23,584 - Yeah. I was just trying to explain 833 00:37:23,667 --> 00:37:27,459 before to someone that, you know, to come back-- 834 00:37:27,542 --> 00:37:30,417 to come to a place like this, for me, 835 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:32,584 you know, 'cause this is one of the places 836 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:34,626 that are a part of this crime, right? 837 00:37:34,709 --> 00:37:37,167 - Right. - And over the years, 838 00:37:37,250 --> 00:37:39,834 it becomes bigger and, like, bigger and bigger and bigger, 839 00:37:39,918 --> 00:37:42,834 and it's a way for me to just take control of it... 840 00:37:42,918 --> 00:37:44,375 - Yeah. - And for me to own it 841 00:37:44,459 --> 00:37:46,167 and make it smaller and smaller. 842 00:37:46,250 --> 00:37:48,334 - Sometimes when you visualize things, it helps, you know. 843 00:37:48,417 --> 00:37:49,667 - Yeah, so it's not as mythical 844 00:37:49,751 --> 00:37:51,500 and big and, like, larger than life. 845 00:37:51,584 --> 00:37:52,500 - Right. - It's just--it's just 846 00:37:52,584 --> 00:37:53,500 a building in Brooklyn 847 00:37:53,584 --> 00:37:55,876 where a killer lived in the basement. 848 00:37:56,709 --> 00:37:59,834 They had these footprints in-- in Adrienne's bathroom. 849 00:37:59,918 --> 00:38:01,959 They checked everybody's shoes. 850 00:38:02,042 --> 00:38:03,584 Nothing matched. 851 00:38:03,667 --> 00:38:05,292 I believe it was the Saturday 852 00:38:05,375 --> 00:38:08,500 that Detective Piccione went to the building. 853 00:38:08,584 --> 00:38:10,250 [tense music] 854 00:38:10,334 --> 00:38:15,042 He noticed a very thin layer of construction dust 855 00:38:15,125 --> 00:38:17,500 up near Adrienne's door. 856 00:38:17,584 --> 00:38:20,083 He inquired if there was construction in the building. 857 00:38:20,167 --> 00:38:22,042 "Yes, there is." "Where?" 858 00:38:22,125 --> 00:38:25,292 "The apartment below." "Oh, let's go take a look." 859 00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:30,167 Open the door, boom. Footprint. 860 00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:34,042 Same footprint that's upstairs in the bathroom. 861 00:38:35,334 --> 00:38:36,959 - I'll tell you, if that footprint wasn't 862 00:38:37,042 --> 00:38:38,542 on that bathtub, I don't think he would have 863 00:38:38,626 --> 00:38:40,292 ever gotten caught. 864 00:38:40,375 --> 00:38:42,000 That's where Jimmy comes into play, Jimmy Piccione, 865 00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:43,375 because Jimmy kept saying, 866 00:38:43,459 --> 00:38:44,626 "You know, I really believe him. 867 00:38:44,709 --> 00:38:45,626 I really believe the husband." 868 00:38:45,709 --> 00:38:46,667 He kept saying that. "I--I believe it." 869 00:38:46,751 --> 00:38:48,292 He showed me the pictures, and he goes, 870 00:38:48,375 --> 00:38:50,209 "Why would a mother who has a two-year-old child 871 00:38:50,292 --> 00:38:52,751 and she's happy, why would she commit suicide?" 872 00:38:54,334 --> 00:38:55,584 When we first interviewed him, we'd talk 873 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,751 pedigree information, like, you know, what's his name, 874 00:38:57,834 --> 00:38:59,125 you know, where he came from, 875 00:38:59,209 --> 00:39:01,375 how long he's been in America, how did he get here? 876 00:39:01,459 --> 00:39:03,375 At some point, I noticed that he kept looking-- 877 00:39:03,459 --> 00:39:05,083 playing with a prayer card, like, he kept using 878 00:39:05,167 --> 00:39:07,292 this prayer card, and you could tell that he was praying. 879 00:39:07,375 --> 00:39:09,751 And I said to him, "Do you have any children?" 880 00:39:09,834 --> 00:39:11,417 He says he didn't have any children. 881 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,375 I said, "Do you have any nieces or nephews?" 882 00:39:13,459 --> 00:39:14,584 He says, "As a matter of fact, I have-- 883 00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:15,792 "my sister has a couple of kids. 884 00:39:15,876 --> 00:39:17,417 I have, like, four nieces and nephews." 885 00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:18,751 I believe it was four. 886 00:39:18,834 --> 00:39:22,042 And I sa--made him go through the list of how old they were. 887 00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:24,209 So he went through the whole list of all the children. 888 00:39:24,292 --> 00:39:26,042 The last child that he discussed, 889 00:39:26,125 --> 00:39:28,375 her name was Tiffany, and she was two years old. 890 00:39:28,459 --> 00:39:30,000 And I said to him, I go, "You know the lady-- 891 00:39:30,083 --> 00:39:31,918 "the lady that died upstairs, you know, 892 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,167 she had a two-year-old daughter." 893 00:39:33,250 --> 00:39:34,209 So then I said, "You know something? 894 00:39:34,292 --> 00:39:35,209 "In life sometimes when, you know, 895 00:39:35,292 --> 00:39:37,000 "you do something wrong, God doesn't punish you. 896 00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:39,125 He punishes someone in your family." 897 00:39:39,209 --> 00:39:41,334 And at that point, he puts his head down 898 00:39:41,417 --> 00:39:43,250 and he comes back up, he goes, "Okay, I did it." 899 00:39:43,334 --> 00:39:45,792 - Mm. 900 00:39:45,876 --> 00:39:47,792 - So after I got the confession, 901 00:39:47,876 --> 00:39:49,125 was driving in my car, 902 00:39:49,209 --> 00:39:51,626 I remember I got an ice-cold chill in the back of my neck, 903 00:39:51,709 --> 00:39:54,125 and I felt my hairs on the back of my neck stand up, 904 00:39:54,209 --> 00:39:56,542 and I felt that it was your wife thanking me 905 00:39:56,626 --> 00:39:59,250 for having this guy confess 906 00:39:59,334 --> 00:40:00,709 so your daughter doesn't have to go through life 907 00:40:00,792 --> 00:40:03,125 thinking it was a suicide. 908 00:40:04,209 --> 00:40:07,125 [soft dramatic music] 909 00:40:13,125 --> 00:40:14,876 - The stories that he had told 910 00:40:14,959 --> 00:40:16,209 when he gave his confession, 911 00:40:16,292 --> 00:40:18,292 which was a total made-up story 912 00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:22,500 about noise complaints and her coming downstairs 913 00:40:22,584 --> 00:40:23,834 and slapping him in the face, 914 00:40:23,918 --> 00:40:26,292 that was all made up. 915 00:40:26,375 --> 00:40:28,959 And then when his plea was accepted, 916 00:40:29,042 --> 00:40:31,667 his story at that time was that he followed her up 917 00:40:31,751 --> 00:40:34,709 and attempted to rob her, and she caught him. 918 00:40:36,459 --> 00:40:39,500 We've got them to agree to 25 years, 919 00:40:39,584 --> 00:40:42,500 no parole, no appeal, 920 00:40:42,584 --> 00:40:44,209 guaranteed. 921 00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:48,500 At the time, it seemed like a really good deal. 922 00:40:48,584 --> 00:40:52,459 But now that he's much closer to being out, 923 00:40:52,542 --> 00:40:55,959 it starts to really feel like 924 00:40:56,042 --> 00:40:57,459 that was no sentence. 925 00:40:57,542 --> 00:40:59,500 She died. She died a horrible death 926 00:40:59,584 --> 00:41:02,334 at the age of 40, and he'll be, 927 00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:05,083 you know, 45 when he's out. 928 00:41:05,167 --> 00:41:07,751 Like, you know? 929 00:41:07,834 --> 00:41:11,167 So that 25 years is gonna go by real quick. 930 00:41:14,792 --> 00:41:17,417 I think I first started to think about meeting him 931 00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:19,709 about a year after Adrienne died. 932 00:41:19,792 --> 00:41:24,000 It was largely born out of a feeling of being unsettled 933 00:41:24,083 --> 00:41:26,334 in terms of what happened that day. 934 00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:29,500 And there's only one person on this planet 935 00:41:29,584 --> 00:41:31,500 that knows what happened that day who's still alive, 936 00:41:31,584 --> 00:41:33,042 and that's him. 937 00:41:35,292 --> 00:41:39,459 "Diego Pillco, you'll probably recognize my name. 938 00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:41,334 "I'm Adrienne Shelly's husband. 939 00:41:41,417 --> 00:41:44,042 "11 years has passed since that fateful day 940 00:41:44,125 --> 00:41:45,751 "in November 2006. 941 00:41:45,834 --> 00:41:49,042 "So many lives profoundly changed that day, 942 00:41:49,125 --> 00:41:51,626 "including yours. 943 00:41:51,709 --> 00:41:53,250 "Not a minute of every day goes by 944 00:41:53,334 --> 00:41:56,292 "without me thinking of Adrienne and what I've lost, 945 00:41:56,375 --> 00:42:00,250 "what my daughter Sophie, who is now 14, has lost, 946 00:42:00,334 --> 00:42:02,459 "what the world has lost. 947 00:42:02,542 --> 00:42:05,918 "I would like to talk with you about what happened that day. 948 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,709 Will you agree to meet and talk with me?" 949 00:42:14,792 --> 00:42:16,918 - Oh! - Ow, watch where you're-- 950 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,334 Hey. - Hey, hi, Adrienne. 951 00:42:18,417 --> 00:42:19,542 - Hi, Tim. - Good to see you. 952 00:42:19,626 --> 00:42:21,209 - Good to see you too. - Hey, what are you doing? 953 00:42:21,292 --> 00:42:22,542 - Oh, I don't know-- - Do you have a minute 954 00:42:22,626 --> 00:42:24,375 to talk about "Sudden Manhattan"? 955 00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:27,709 - I certainly have a minute to talk about "Sudden Manhattan." 956 00:42:27,792 --> 00:42:30,792 Six, seven, eight. 957 00:42:30,876 --> 00:42:32,792 Eight zits. 958 00:42:32,876 --> 00:42:35,083 One less than yesterday. 959 00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:36,626 What happened to the missing zit? 960 00:42:36,709 --> 00:42:39,250 Where'd it go? 961 00:42:39,334 --> 00:42:40,626 Hmm. 962 00:42:40,709 --> 00:42:42,626 One zit less. 963 00:42:45,626 --> 00:42:47,083 Well, I wanted to make this movie 964 00:42:47,167 --> 00:42:49,250 because I think it's sort of an analogy 965 00:42:49,334 --> 00:42:52,417 to being in your 20s, being at a certain point in your life 966 00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:55,918 where, you know, a lot of strange things are happening 967 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,918 to you and you can't really make any sense of-- 968 00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,584 of them. 969 00:43:01,834 --> 00:43:04,834 I'm stuck in a vortex. 970 00:43:04,918 --> 00:43:07,709 I'm stuck in a vortex. 971 00:43:07,792 --> 00:43:12,000 It's really about, uh, trying to find meaning 972 00:43:12,083 --> 00:43:15,667 in a world that is often very confusing. 973 00:43:15,751 --> 00:43:17,876 - And then she steals the carrot out of my mouth, 974 00:43:17,959 --> 00:43:20,500 and she hop, hop, hops away. 975 00:43:20,584 --> 00:43:24,375 And my voice tells me, "Bonnie, you dumb bunny. 976 00:43:24,459 --> 00:43:26,667 She wants you to follow." 977 00:43:26,751 --> 00:43:29,250 [distorted] Then he took the gun and shot the man dead 978 00:43:29,334 --> 00:43:30,792 in plain daylight. 979 00:43:30,876 --> 00:43:31,959 - That film was nuts, right? 980 00:43:32,042 --> 00:43:33,292 Like, what did you think of it? - It was nuts. 981 00:43:33,375 --> 00:43:35,459 Like, it always amazed me, Adrienne would say, 982 00:43:35,542 --> 00:43:38,000 "I'm writing this thing," then suddenly she would call 983 00:43:38,083 --> 00:43:41,417 three weeks later and say, "We have funding." 984 00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:42,500 I don't know how it happened. - Right. 985 00:43:42,584 --> 00:43:44,626 - It just--somehow, she knew someone and knew-- 986 00:43:44,709 --> 00:43:47,626 and she just got on the phone and worked connections 987 00:43:47,709 --> 00:43:49,751 and called people, and they read her work 988 00:43:49,834 --> 00:43:51,042 and liked it, so they produced it. 989 00:43:52,417 --> 00:43:54,334 - Tea leaves, palm readings, aura readings, 990 00:43:54,417 --> 00:43:57,375 tarot cards, astrology, past life readings, 991 00:43:57,459 --> 00:44:00,375 or guardian angel information. 992 00:44:00,459 --> 00:44:02,542 - Uh, no, I don't-- I don't think-- 993 00:44:02,626 --> 00:44:05,459 - Or I can do all of them at the same time. 994 00:44:05,542 --> 00:44:07,417 - You do all of them at the same time? 995 00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:08,417 - Mm-hmm. 996 00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:10,042 - I think it was "Sudden Manhattan," 997 00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:13,500 and she was having a lot of difficulty with the reception, 998 00:44:13,584 --> 00:44:16,334 and she got a negative review somewhere, 999 00:44:16,417 --> 00:44:17,876 and she called me. 1000 00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:22,083 And she was just crying... 1001 00:44:22,167 --> 00:44:24,834 - No reason to get out of bed. 1002 00:44:24,918 --> 00:44:26,292 - For several hours, 1003 00:44:26,375 --> 00:44:29,000 because somebody had ripped her to shreds. 1004 00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:32,083 - No reason to brush my teeth. 1005 00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:33,918 - What Adrienne found in making that movie 1006 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,083 is that being in the movie, writing it, and directing it, 1007 00:44:37,167 --> 00:44:40,417 critics were not going to be kind to a woman who did that. 1008 00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:43,000 - Right. - And I really do feel 1009 00:44:43,083 --> 00:44:46,626 there was tremendous sexism that made that 1010 00:44:46,709 --> 00:44:48,709 a hard thing to do. 1011 00:44:48,792 --> 00:44:51,542 [dramatic romantic music] 1012 00:44:53,292 --> 00:44:55,626 [doorbell rings] 1013 00:44:55,709 --> 00:44:57,542 - Mahjong. 1014 00:44:57,626 --> 00:44:59,417 all: Mahjong! 1015 00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:01,792 - I said to her, "Tell me about this character. 1016 00:45:01,876 --> 00:45:05,083 I mean, what are you really looking for?" 1017 00:45:05,167 --> 00:45:06,918 What I wanna know is... 1018 00:45:08,417 --> 00:45:12,250 Do you wanna go to Spain with me and make love? 1019 00:45:12,334 --> 00:45:14,000 And she said, "Well," she said 1020 00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:16,125 "This character's really based on my mother." 1021 00:45:16,209 --> 00:45:17,542 - You know Missy. - Hi, Lois. 1022 00:45:17,626 --> 00:45:19,292 - Missy's taking Mona's place in the mahjong game. 1023 00:45:19,375 --> 00:45:21,792 - How's it going? 1024 00:45:21,876 --> 00:45:23,626 - It's-- it's going well. 1025 00:45:23,709 --> 00:45:26,209 - Yeah? - Yeah, I'm having a good time. 1026 00:45:26,292 --> 00:45:28,792 Somebody's agreed to let me make a movie again. 1027 00:45:28,876 --> 00:45:30,834 And that's, um-- 1028 00:45:30,918 --> 00:45:33,709 that never, you know, fails to surprise me 1029 00:45:33,792 --> 00:45:35,751 and delight me. 1030 00:45:35,834 --> 00:45:37,542 It's called "Get Up and Recover." 1031 00:45:37,626 --> 00:45:38,834 - Oh, Lucy. 1032 00:45:38,918 --> 00:45:41,334 - There are all these great exercises in here, 1033 00:45:41,417 --> 00:45:45,209 not just to, um... forget your misery 1034 00:45:45,292 --> 00:45:49,417 but to go forward, to face your pain. 1035 00:45:49,500 --> 00:45:51,375 You know, to strengthen your soul. 1036 00:45:51,459 --> 00:45:52,709 - There's nothing wrong with my soul. 1037 00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:56,209 - This is exactly the situation that life offers you 1038 00:45:56,292 --> 00:45:59,000 a real opportunity to grow. 1039 00:45:59,083 --> 00:46:02,167 There's--there's not really one breakup in particular 1040 00:46:02,250 --> 00:46:04,292 that inspired this film. 1041 00:46:04,375 --> 00:46:07,667 I think I've probably been all of the characters 1042 00:46:07,751 --> 00:46:09,626 in the film at one time or another. 1043 00:46:09,709 --> 00:46:12,500 I set up a date for you. 1044 00:46:12,584 --> 00:46:15,292 - Are you kidding? - With Bernice. 1045 00:46:15,375 --> 00:46:18,083 My friend from college, she just moved here from LA. 1046 00:46:18,167 --> 00:46:19,417 - You did what? 1047 00:46:19,500 --> 00:46:21,542 - You told me you thought she was cute. 1048 00:46:21,626 --> 00:46:25,167 - That was eight years ago. I met her for five minutes. 1049 00:46:25,250 --> 00:46:26,459 - Bill, you gotta move forward. 1050 00:46:26,542 --> 00:46:27,626 You gotta move forward, Bill. 1051 00:46:27,709 --> 00:46:30,584 - I can't go on a date, Lucy. I can't tie my shoes. 1052 00:46:30,667 --> 00:46:32,959 What are you talking about, a date? 1053 00:46:33,042 --> 00:46:34,792 Cancel it. - I can't. 1054 00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:37,459 - Why not? [doorbell buzzes] 1055 00:46:39,417 --> 00:46:40,751 - Hi. 1056 00:46:40,834 --> 00:46:45,834 - I was going for a tone in the film where-- 1057 00:46:45,918 --> 00:46:50,709 where you can kind of find what's funny in what's painful. 1058 00:46:50,792 --> 00:46:52,167 Um, which has always kind of 1059 00:46:52,250 --> 00:46:54,751 been my strategy anyway in life, you know. 1060 00:46:54,834 --> 00:46:57,834 I think it's a great sort of survival technique. 1061 00:47:00,709 --> 00:47:02,667 - "Oddly enough, I believe that the person 1062 00:47:02,751 --> 00:47:05,000 "who's had the greatest influence on my creative life 1063 00:47:05,083 --> 00:47:06,626 has been my father." 1064 00:47:08,083 --> 00:47:09,375 "The reason why this is unusual 1065 00:47:09,459 --> 00:47:12,334 "is that I have not seen my father in 18 years. 1066 00:47:12,417 --> 00:47:14,876 "He died very suddenly when I was 12. 1067 00:47:14,959 --> 00:47:16,667 "He was 40 years old. 1068 00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:18,209 "This was to begin my strange 1069 00:47:18,292 --> 00:47:20,417 "and ugly companionship with grief. 1070 00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:22,667 "Learning to cope with loss has been an odyssey 1071 00:47:22,751 --> 00:47:24,167 for me throughout my life." 1072 00:47:24,250 --> 00:47:26,626 - One of the most incredible moments 1073 00:47:26,709 --> 00:47:28,834 I ever had with Adrienne 1074 00:47:28,918 --> 00:47:31,667 was when she told me 1075 00:47:31,751 --> 00:47:33,292 what she remembered from that day. 1076 00:47:33,375 --> 00:47:34,959 - From when her father-- [gasps] 1077 00:47:35,042 --> 00:47:36,292 And what was that? 1078 00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:38,584 - She was picked up at camp. - Right, right. 1079 00:47:38,667 --> 00:47:41,709 - She said it was a-- a long ride home, 1080 00:47:41,792 --> 00:47:43,375 and she literally was staring out the window, 1081 00:47:43,459 --> 00:47:46,250 wondering, "What is going on?" 1082 00:47:46,334 --> 00:47:48,667 And she said, "I went into the house, 1083 00:47:48,751 --> 00:47:51,083 "and I walked into the kitchen, 1084 00:47:51,167 --> 00:47:53,834 "and on the kitchen table 1085 00:47:53,918 --> 00:47:55,751 was an obituary from the newspaper." 1086 00:47:55,834 --> 00:47:57,334 - [gasps] Oh! 1087 00:47:57,417 --> 00:48:00,125 - So here--here's-- here's the incredible part. 1088 00:48:00,209 --> 00:48:02,876 She faked not knowing... 1089 00:48:02,959 --> 00:48:04,292 - Yeah. - Because she didn't want... 1090 00:48:04,375 --> 00:48:06,125 - Oh. - To make you feel bad. 1091 00:48:06,209 --> 00:48:09,792 The way she told me this story, she started laughing. 1092 00:48:09,876 --> 00:48:11,792 And she said to me, "Can you believe this? 1093 00:48:11,876 --> 00:48:14,459 This is how I found out how my father died." 1094 00:48:15,334 --> 00:48:20,083 The tonal shift is really what she brought to her work. 1095 00:48:20,167 --> 00:48:22,459 Just the horror and the comedy 1096 00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:26,459 all wrapped into one crazy moment. 1097 00:48:26,542 --> 00:48:29,417 - "When loss--the fear of it as well as the truth of it-- 1098 00:48:29,500 --> 00:48:32,250 "runs your life, there is not much room in your life 1099 00:48:32,334 --> 00:48:34,542 for other things, like love." 1100 00:48:47,918 --> 00:48:50,042 That's it. - That's it? 1101 00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:51,500 - Yes. - No more? 1102 00:48:51,584 --> 00:48:53,042 - No. - Did you have fun? 1103 00:48:53,125 --> 00:48:55,000 - Yes. - Yeah, is that a fun car? 1104 00:48:55,083 --> 00:48:57,876 - Yes. - Why is it fun? 1105 00:48:57,959 --> 00:48:59,584 - Because you bought it. 1106 00:48:59,667 --> 00:49:00,792 - Because I bought it? 1107 00:49:00,876 --> 00:49:01,959 - Yes. - Oh, that's nice. 1108 00:49:02,042 --> 00:49:03,292 So are you a good driver? 1109 00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:05,500 - Good job. 1110 00:49:05,584 --> 00:49:07,417 - I think it was about three weeks later, maybe-- 1111 00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:10,083 no, a month later. 1112 00:49:10,167 --> 00:49:11,959 You-- you wanted to get Sophie-- 1113 00:49:12,042 --> 00:49:13,167 you got--you just wanted to get her out of-- 1114 00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:14,334 you needed to get out of New York. 1115 00:49:14,417 --> 00:49:15,792 And you came to visit. 1116 00:49:16,751 --> 00:49:19,626 I remember opening the door and--and... 1117 00:49:19,709 --> 00:49:21,834 you and Sophie walking up the walkway there, 1118 00:49:21,918 --> 00:49:23,709 opening the gate. 1119 00:49:23,792 --> 00:49:25,334 And I remember... 1120 00:49:26,959 --> 00:49:28,918 It wasn't three of you. It was two of you. 1121 00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:33,792 - I had a lot of people who would say things 1122 00:49:33,876 --> 00:49:35,250 like, "Everything's gonna be okay," 1123 00:49:35,334 --> 00:49:36,375 "You'll get through it," 1124 00:49:36,459 --> 00:49:38,751 all the things that nice people say 1125 00:49:38,834 --> 00:49:42,209 when they care about you and want to make you feel better. 1126 00:49:42,292 --> 00:49:43,417 I remember this one guy 1127 00:49:43,500 --> 00:49:46,500 whose son committed suicide many years earlier, 1128 00:49:46,584 --> 00:49:49,918 and then he contacted me right away, and he was like, 1129 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,042 "Here's what's gonna happen day one. 1130 00:49:51,125 --> 00:49:53,125 "Here's what's gonna happen month one, month two, 1131 00:49:53,209 --> 00:49:54,417 year one, year two." 1132 00:49:54,500 --> 00:49:55,834 He laid out, like, a blueprint 1133 00:49:55,918 --> 00:49:57,500 of, like, how often I'll cry. 1134 00:49:57,584 --> 00:49:59,334 I found that invaluable. 1135 00:49:59,417 --> 00:50:02,000 Uh, my friend Julie Rudd, 1136 00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:05,918 uh, had a fiancé who died in a horrible work accident. 1137 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,375 - I think it might have been a week later 1138 00:50:08,459 --> 00:50:10,417 that you called me, and I was like, 1139 00:50:10,500 --> 00:50:14,083 "Oh, he--this is--he's-- he's gonna be okay, 1140 00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:18,918 "because he is already looking to climb himself out. 1141 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,626 "You know, he doesn't wanna stay where he is, 1142 00:50:21,709 --> 00:50:25,042 and he knows he can't, because he's got a young daughter." 1143 00:50:25,125 --> 00:50:28,542 - Was there ever a moment where... 1144 00:50:28,626 --> 00:50:32,042 you didn't think you would be able to move on from this? 1145 00:50:32,125 --> 00:50:33,417 - No. 1146 00:50:34,667 --> 00:50:36,500 No, not in that sense. 1147 00:50:36,584 --> 00:50:38,876 But I had really dark moments-- 1148 00:50:38,959 --> 00:50:40,709 dark, dark, dark moments, 1149 00:50:40,792 --> 00:50:43,709 going in that closet in the back, 1150 00:50:43,792 --> 00:50:46,792 taking her clothes and curling up on a-- 1151 00:50:46,876 --> 00:50:49,792 fetal position on the floor and just sobbing 1152 00:50:49,876 --> 00:50:52,709 till I literally had nothing left. 1153 00:50:52,792 --> 00:50:55,959 But then over, you know, the next few days, 1154 00:50:56,042 --> 00:50:59,083 the next week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, 1155 00:50:59,167 --> 00:51:02,792 all of a sudden, you know, a routine settles in. 1156 00:51:02,876 --> 00:51:05,250 I just looked at her and made her a promise 1157 00:51:05,334 --> 00:51:09,209 that she's gonna grow up happy and healthy. 1158 00:51:09,292 --> 00:51:11,417 We're gonna be okay. 1159 00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:13,918 Like, we're a team. We're gonna be okay. 1160 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,918 [soft music] 1161 00:51:19,042 --> 00:51:21,626 - I don't want you to be sad, okay, Daddy? 1162 00:51:21,709 --> 00:51:23,584 - You think Daddy looks sad? - Yes. 1163 00:51:23,667 --> 00:51:26,125 But I'm gonna take care of you when Mommy died. 1164 00:51:26,209 --> 00:51:28,167 - I'm so lucky to have you. 1165 00:51:29,375 --> 00:51:30,667 - You be so proud of me, 1166 00:51:30,751 --> 00:51:33,834 and you not be sad anymore that Mommy died. 1167 00:51:33,918 --> 00:51:36,167 I like Mommy's picture up there. 1168 00:51:36,250 --> 00:51:38,792 - Mommy's watching over her little girl while she sleeps. 1169 00:51:38,876 --> 00:51:40,667 - She's watching me? - Yes. 1170 00:51:40,751 --> 00:51:43,334 She'll always be with you, everywhere you go. 1171 00:51:54,167 --> 00:51:56,250 How do you feel about, like, today 1172 00:51:56,334 --> 00:51:59,083 versus other days? 1173 00:52:00,542 --> 00:52:03,125 - It doesn't really feel very different 1174 00:52:03,209 --> 00:52:06,334 than most days, like, 'cause it's just a day, 1175 00:52:06,417 --> 00:52:08,125 but it just happens to be, like, when-- 1176 00:52:08,209 --> 00:52:10,042 like, an anniversary of something, 1177 00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:13,209 so it's, like, always in the back of my mind. 1178 00:52:13,292 --> 00:52:15,709 It's not like it's harder today. 1179 00:52:15,792 --> 00:52:18,209 I think it's only harder 1180 00:52:18,292 --> 00:52:21,542 because I'm thinking about it more 1181 00:52:21,626 --> 00:52:23,792 than I would on a different day. 1182 00:52:23,876 --> 00:52:26,918 - Are there days or holidays in particular 1183 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,167 more so than other days or other holidays 1184 00:52:29,250 --> 00:52:31,000 that make you think more about that? 1185 00:52:31,083 --> 00:52:33,792 - Well, Halloween, 'cause it's right there, 1186 00:52:33,876 --> 00:52:35,334 and the party you guys threw. 1187 00:52:35,417 --> 00:52:38,542 - Mm-hmm. - Um, Mother's Day, obviously. 1188 00:52:38,626 --> 00:52:39,792 - Mm-hmm. - Um-- 1189 00:52:39,876 --> 00:52:43,209 - What do you typically feel on Mother's Day? 1190 00:52:43,292 --> 00:52:46,667 - Um, just kind of like, um, 1191 00:52:46,751 --> 00:52:48,834 like, robbed. 1192 00:52:48,918 --> 00:52:50,918 Like, I'm just jealous all day. 1193 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,584 Just 'cause of, like, other people 1194 00:52:53,667 --> 00:52:55,417 and, like, their moms. 1195 00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:57,667 Like, I'm jealous of that. 1196 00:52:57,751 --> 00:53:00,209 I'm understanding now how permanent it is. 1197 00:53:00,292 --> 00:53:01,626 - Mm-hmm. - That's hard to deal with, 1198 00:53:01,709 --> 00:53:05,417 but it's mostly just like, I'm never going to have one. 1199 00:53:05,500 --> 00:53:08,292 Like, the permanency of that. - Mm-hmm. 1200 00:53:18,959 --> 00:53:21,375 - Hi. 1201 00:53:21,459 --> 00:53:25,375 It's me, Adrienne, and, uh-- 1202 00:53:25,459 --> 00:53:28,375 and I just started shooting this documentary 1203 00:53:28,459 --> 00:53:30,042 a few days ago. 1204 00:53:30,125 --> 00:53:32,459 - One of the things that I've discovered 1205 00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:34,792 through this process is, Adrienne-- 1206 00:53:34,876 --> 00:53:35,834 and maybe you know about it, Adrienne was 1207 00:53:35,918 --> 00:53:37,417 making a documentary about happiness. 1208 00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:38,792 Do you know anything about that? 1209 00:53:38,876 --> 00:53:43,292 - There's too many things I haven't done yet 1210 00:53:43,375 --> 00:53:46,834 There's too many sunsets 1211 00:53:46,918 --> 00:53:50,834 I haven't seen 1212 00:53:50,918 --> 00:53:55,375 You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down 1213 00:53:55,459 --> 00:53:58,542 You would've thought by now 1214 00:53:58,626 --> 00:53:59,542 - I have the tapes. 1215 00:53:59,626 --> 00:54:00,667 - That's amazing. - And they're amazing. 1216 00:54:00,751 --> 00:54:03,918 [Sara Bareilles' "Many the Miles"] 1217 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,709 [doorbell rings] 1218 00:54:05,792 --> 00:54:08,417 - We're making a-- a documentary about happiness. 1219 00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:10,584 I'm assuming you're a couple. - We are. 1220 00:54:10,667 --> 00:54:12,459 - We're--we're actually looking for the happiest person 1221 00:54:12,542 --> 00:54:13,792 in New York. 1222 00:54:13,876 --> 00:54:16,500 - We're pretty happy. Erica makes me happy. 1223 00:54:16,584 --> 00:54:18,375 - Aww. This is for you. 1224 00:54:18,459 --> 00:54:19,918 - What is--this is for me? - It's a yo-yo. 1225 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,959 - Oh, how very nice. I shall play with this at home. 1226 00:54:23,042 --> 00:54:24,667 [laughter] 1227 00:54:24,751 --> 00:54:27,792 - We went, uh, my boyfriend and I, to see, um... 1228 00:54:27,876 --> 00:54:29,459 Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello 1229 00:54:29,542 --> 00:54:31,167 in concert at Carnegie Hall. 1230 00:54:31,250 --> 00:54:32,667 I used to come here for breakfast-- 1231 00:54:32,751 --> 00:54:35,334 it was a breakfast place-- with my ex-boyfriend. 1232 00:54:35,417 --> 00:54:37,500 And, uh, it was really painful because we knew 1233 00:54:37,584 --> 00:54:40,292 that we were gonna end our relationship that night. 1234 00:54:40,375 --> 00:54:42,167 We used to fight a lot here. 1235 00:54:42,250 --> 00:54:45,000 We were just kind of frozen there in our seats 1236 00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:47,626 listening to them sing this stuff. 1237 00:54:47,709 --> 00:54:50,000 And then finally, uh, we broke up here. 1238 00:54:50,083 --> 00:54:53,709 And I remember feeling like, "Ugh, yeah, pain! 1239 00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:56,375 Ugh, yeah, life-- give it to me, give it to me." 1240 00:54:56,459 --> 00:55:00,042 And the place, uh, was a place I think of misery and failure 1241 00:55:00,125 --> 00:55:02,125 for the owners also, 'cause they went out of business, 1242 00:55:02,209 --> 00:55:05,209 and it became another restaurant altogether. 1243 00:55:05,292 --> 00:55:07,709 We were very specifically looking for a restaurant 1244 00:55:07,792 --> 00:55:09,709 to break up in, and finally, uh, 1245 00:55:09,792 --> 00:55:14,209 we settled into Ollie's Noodle Shop and Grill. 1246 00:55:14,292 --> 00:55:18,459 I came back, um, with a-- with a new boyfriend, 1247 00:55:18,542 --> 00:55:21,250 and, uh--and he broke up with me here too. 1248 00:55:21,334 --> 00:55:22,834 I listened to him tell me everything 1249 00:55:22,918 --> 00:55:25,834 that was wrong with me and how I had failed him. 1250 00:55:25,918 --> 00:55:27,667 And then shortly after that, 1251 00:55:27,751 --> 00:55:30,167 uh, that restaurant went out of business. 1252 00:55:30,250 --> 00:55:32,834 And I sat there and told him everything that he did wrong 1253 00:55:32,918 --> 00:55:35,292 and how he failed me. 1254 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:39,292 And, uh--and it was just-- it was just awful. 1255 00:55:39,375 --> 00:55:43,209 So I try to stay away from here if I can, 1256 00:55:43,292 --> 00:55:47,292 um, not bring any beaus here, 1257 00:55:47,375 --> 00:55:50,042 because they're just gonna break up with me, 1258 00:55:50,125 --> 00:55:52,125 and--and then the restaurant's gonna close. 1259 00:55:52,209 --> 00:55:54,959 - She had so many crappy relationships. 1260 00:55:55,042 --> 00:55:58,042 - So many, so many. - I often think about, like, 1261 00:55:58,125 --> 00:55:59,500 she was smart, she was beautiful. 1262 00:55:59,584 --> 00:56:01,876 Like, she had everything to offer. 1263 00:56:01,959 --> 00:56:03,876 - I want, you know, very different things now 1264 00:56:03,959 --> 00:56:06,250 than when I was younger. 1265 00:56:06,334 --> 00:56:09,042 And I'd like to think that, you know, I could... 1266 00:56:11,792 --> 00:56:15,709 Spend my life with somebody and have a family and, uh-- 1267 00:56:15,792 --> 00:56:20,417 and still be allowed to be myself, you know? 1268 00:56:20,500 --> 00:56:21,792 - And was it just the-- - I think 1269 00:56:21,876 --> 00:56:24,626 that a lot of men 1270 00:56:24,709 --> 00:56:30,125 felt that here was this tiny, little, adorable woman 1271 00:56:30,209 --> 00:56:33,292 that they were going to take care of 1272 00:56:33,375 --> 00:56:36,167 and protect and control. 1273 00:56:36,250 --> 00:56:39,250 And she had no intention of that happening. 1274 00:56:39,334 --> 00:56:43,375 She was tiny but very large in personality 1275 00:56:43,459 --> 00:56:47,876 and in mind and in deed and in will. 1276 00:56:47,959 --> 00:56:49,792 - Are you in love? 1277 00:56:49,876 --> 00:56:51,000 - No. I'm in love, 1278 00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:52,584 but, um, I don't know with-- 1279 00:56:52,667 --> 00:56:53,918 I mean, he's somewhere out there. 1280 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,083 I don't know where he is. 1281 00:56:55,167 --> 00:56:57,167 I'm--I have all this love inside of me 1282 00:56:57,250 --> 00:57:00,083 and no one to give it to now. 1283 00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:02,626 - And because I'm-- I'm on this sort of quest 1284 00:57:02,709 --> 00:57:05,792 to figure out what happiness is in this documentary, 1285 00:57:05,876 --> 00:57:11,500 I guess I--I should... probably admit that, uh, 1286 00:57:11,584 --> 00:57:15,667 I--I'm not really such an expert on it. 1287 00:57:17,083 --> 00:57:19,834 - The conversation that we used to have quite a bit 1288 00:57:19,918 --> 00:57:21,709 is, what's more important to us? 1289 00:57:21,792 --> 00:57:24,500 Is having love and marriage more important to us? 1290 00:57:24,584 --> 00:57:27,417 Or is it more im--is our art more important to us? 1291 00:57:27,500 --> 00:57:29,417 And we would have those debates a lot. 1292 00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:33,459 And Adrienne fell into the camp of, "Love and marriage 1293 00:57:33,542 --> 00:57:36,167 is ultimately more important to me." 1294 00:57:36,250 --> 00:57:39,167 - Are you happy? - I'm content. 1295 00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:41,167 - Knowing her and knowing how passionate 1296 00:57:41,250 --> 00:57:43,709 about her work she was, I was surprised. 1297 00:57:43,792 --> 00:57:46,250 But thinking back on it, I'm not. 1298 00:57:46,334 --> 00:57:48,876 - "I want love to work. I want no more pain. 1299 00:57:48,959 --> 00:57:50,876 "I want to have a child and a family. 1300 00:57:50,959 --> 00:57:53,250 "I want to create marvelous things from my heart and mind 1301 00:57:53,334 --> 00:57:55,042 and hands and mouth." 1302 00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:57,042 - I remember when I first came to New York, 1303 00:57:57,125 --> 00:57:59,000 when I first moved to New York, I-- 1304 00:57:59,083 --> 00:58:01,375 I, um-- I--I-- 1305 00:58:01,459 --> 00:58:03,042 I said the same kind of thing to myself, 1306 00:58:03,125 --> 00:58:04,751 that, you know, he's somewhere here. 1307 00:58:04,834 --> 00:58:06,792 - He has to be. - Wonder where he is 1308 00:58:06,876 --> 00:58:08,000 and what he's doing right now 1309 00:58:08,083 --> 00:58:10,584 and if he's wondering where I am, you know. 1310 00:58:11,459 --> 00:58:16,209 I want to be part of something that's bigger than just me. 1311 00:58:18,375 --> 00:58:19,959 - She wanted to be loved. 1312 00:58:20,042 --> 00:58:24,083 You know, talking to her a few late nights where she really 1313 00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:25,876 had the feeling she would never be loved 1314 00:58:25,959 --> 00:58:27,125 and it would never happen. 1315 00:58:27,209 --> 00:58:29,918 And I knew that was literally impossible. 1316 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,959 This is just what's happening now. 1317 00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:33,792 That person is out there. 1318 00:58:33,876 --> 00:58:36,250 And of course he was, and it was you. 1319 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:42,584 - She met you, um, as I believe, after 9/11. 1320 00:58:42,667 --> 00:58:44,459 You were volunteering downtown. 1321 00:58:44,542 --> 00:58:45,626 - No, no, no, no. - She said she met you 1322 00:58:45,709 --> 00:58:47,584 at a political fundraiser. 1323 00:58:47,667 --> 00:58:49,209 - What? She said to me, 1324 00:58:49,292 --> 00:58:51,417 you know, like a lot of people after 9/11, 1325 00:58:51,500 --> 00:58:52,876 you know, you start reassessing your life. 1326 00:58:52,959 --> 00:58:54,334 - Right. - Like, "What am I doing?" 1327 00:58:54,417 --> 00:58:55,500 - So it was after 9/11? - It was right after-- 1328 00:58:55,584 --> 00:58:56,542 - So I got that part right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1329 00:58:56,626 --> 00:58:58,083 - She told me that you guys met 1330 00:58:58,167 --> 00:59:01,125 at a political fundraiser. 1331 00:59:01,209 --> 00:59:03,876 - Did you volunteer with her after together? 1332 00:59:03,959 --> 00:59:05,000 - She told me she went on Match, 1333 00:59:05,083 --> 00:59:06,209 and she was embarrassed. 1334 00:59:06,292 --> 00:59:08,584 She was a little, like, "I don't want anyone to know." 1335 00:59:08,667 --> 00:59:10,209 Hi, now everybody knows. 1336 00:59:10,292 --> 00:59:11,959 I supported her instantly. I said, "Great. 1337 00:59:12,042 --> 00:59:14,167 "That's how people-- you know, it's--you know, 1338 00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:15,667 people meet people that way now." 1339 00:59:15,751 --> 00:59:17,876 I mean, it's a great way to get outside 1340 00:59:17,959 --> 00:59:20,083 of the sphere of just show business. 1341 00:59:20,167 --> 00:59:23,083 And she made it clear, like, "I only went to one person. 1342 00:59:23,167 --> 00:59:27,459 I saw his profile picture, I chose it, and that was that." 1343 00:59:27,542 --> 00:59:29,959 She made one connection. It was you. 1344 00:59:30,042 --> 00:59:33,250 - Listen, um, I have a five-minute blind date tonight 1345 00:59:33,334 --> 00:59:35,292 with an insurance salesman named Pete-- 1346 00:59:35,375 --> 00:59:39,167 5'10", 37, all his hair, nice picture, loves fishin'. 1347 00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:40,167 - Five-minute date? 1348 00:59:40,250 --> 00:59:41,542 Can't the guy pay for the whole thing? 1349 00:59:41,626 --> 00:59:42,959 - She literally said to me, 1350 00:59:43,042 --> 00:59:44,834 "We're gonna go on a five-minute date." 1351 00:59:45,542 --> 00:59:47,626 That was the first time I heard that idea. 1352 00:59:47,709 --> 00:59:49,375 And I said, "How does that work?" 1353 00:59:49,459 --> 00:59:50,959 She explained the whole thing. 1354 00:59:51,042 --> 00:59:53,500 She said, "I show up, I look at you, you look at me, 1355 00:59:53,584 --> 00:59:55,209 "and we talk for five minutes, we hate each other. 1356 00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:57,542 Like, why--what's the point of staying, like, longer?" 1357 00:59:57,626 --> 00:59:59,709 And we sat there for five hours. 1358 00:59:59,792 --> 01:00:01,876 The five-minute date became five hours. 1359 01:00:03,250 --> 01:00:05,584 - I got a secret too. 1360 01:00:05,667 --> 01:00:07,375 - You, Dawn? - Yes. 1361 01:00:07,459 --> 01:00:08,959 I have a boyfriend now. - [gasps] 1362 01:00:09,042 --> 01:00:11,209 - No. - Yes. 1363 01:00:11,292 --> 01:00:14,125 - It really did feel different from all the other guys. 1364 01:00:14,209 --> 01:00:16,626 And she said, "You know, I can't believe it, 1365 01:00:16,709 --> 01:00:20,125 but my dream guy is, like, a divorced dad of three." 1366 01:00:20,209 --> 01:00:21,959 - I'm happy to say I loved you right away. 1367 01:00:22,042 --> 01:00:23,792 Um, you had good hair. 1368 01:00:23,876 --> 01:00:26,167 - I just remember how excited you were and how surprised 1369 01:00:26,250 --> 01:00:28,834 I was that somebody like her was going out with you. 1370 01:00:28,918 --> 01:00:30,042 - You said, "You're dating Adrienne Shelly?" 1371 01:00:30,125 --> 01:00:32,918 And I said, "Yeah," and you said, "The Adrienne Shelly?" 1372 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,709 And I said, "Yeah," and then you--and then you said, 1373 01:00:36,792 --> 01:00:38,375 "The Hal Hartley Adrienne Shelly? 1374 01:00:38,459 --> 01:00:39,918 'Trust' Adrienne Shelly?" 1375 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:43,751 And then you said, "Ostroy, 1376 01:00:43,834 --> 01:00:46,000 "most days, I feel sorry for you. 1377 01:00:46,083 --> 01:00:47,334 Today's not one of 'em." 1378 01:00:47,417 --> 01:00:49,042 [laughter] 1379 01:00:49,125 --> 01:00:51,709 Not only was she just brilliant and funny, 1380 01:00:51,792 --> 01:00:57,042 but she was absolutely the cutest thing I had ever met. 1381 01:00:57,125 --> 01:01:00,500 I really felt like I was in the presence of someone special. 1382 01:01:00,584 --> 01:01:03,334 Like this was the person I was intended to be with 1383 01:01:03,417 --> 01:01:05,167 for the rest of my life-- my soul mate. 1384 01:01:05,250 --> 01:01:06,834 All the cheesy stuff. 1385 01:01:06,918 --> 01:01:09,709 [jaunty accordion music] 1386 01:01:18,834 --> 01:01:20,459 Who is this crazy lady? 1387 01:01:20,542 --> 01:01:22,792 - It's so big. 1388 01:01:22,876 --> 01:01:26,209 - I just got an Eiffel Tower for one euro, 1389 01:01:26,292 --> 01:01:27,751 but he gave me another one for free. 1390 01:01:27,834 --> 01:01:29,876 - Ooh, cool. - So nice. 1391 01:01:31,125 --> 01:01:33,792 - I proposed to her that following summer in Paris. 1392 01:01:36,667 --> 01:01:39,375 I carried the ring with me everywhere we went. 1393 01:01:40,459 --> 01:01:41,918 - So how did you propose? 1394 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,876 Like, was it a surprise? Did you walk up-- 1395 01:01:43,959 --> 01:01:46,209 - Well, we walked up this street, 1396 01:01:46,292 --> 01:01:48,751 and I told your mom that ever since I met her, 1397 01:01:48,834 --> 01:01:53,250 I'd been really happy and I can't imagine 1398 01:01:53,334 --> 01:01:54,500 my life without her. 1399 01:01:56,626 --> 01:01:59,542 So after Daddy proposed, we came down here. 1400 01:02:00,792 --> 01:02:03,792 And we just sat here, and we talked for, like, hours. 1401 01:02:03,876 --> 01:02:04,876 And we'd start planning-- 1402 01:02:04,959 --> 01:02:06,709 this is where we planned the wedding, right here. 1403 01:02:06,792 --> 01:02:07,792 - Really? - Yeah. 1404 01:02:07,876 --> 01:02:10,792 [John Lennon's "Oh My Love"] 1405 01:02:10,876 --> 01:02:13,167 - Oh, my love 1406 01:02:13,250 --> 01:02:17,709 For the first time in my life 1407 01:02:17,792 --> 01:02:21,459 My eyes are wide open 1408 01:02:21,542 --> 01:02:23,209 - When I first spoke with everyone I knew 1409 01:02:23,292 --> 01:02:25,417 about the man I was falling in love with, 1410 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:30,292 who had been married twice before and has three children, 1411 01:02:30,375 --> 01:02:32,751 I braced myself for skepticism. 1412 01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:37,125 But this is the mad, crazy love affair 1413 01:02:37,209 --> 01:02:39,500 I have waited for all my life. 1414 01:02:39,584 --> 01:02:42,292 I vow to care for your children, 1415 01:02:42,375 --> 01:02:46,334 because they are a part of you and an extra blessing to me. 1416 01:02:46,417 --> 01:02:51,834 - Everything is clear in my heart 1417 01:02:51,918 --> 01:02:54,167 - Yeah, when she called me, I think she was so at peace 1418 01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:57,792 that this other life that she really actually wanted, 1419 01:02:57,876 --> 01:02:59,000 she could have that too. 1420 01:02:59,083 --> 01:03:00,792 She could-- she could do both. 1421 01:03:00,876 --> 01:03:06,584 - Everything is clear in our world 1422 01:03:06,667 --> 01:03:07,584 - I used to go over to the house when I used 1423 01:03:07,667 --> 01:03:09,125 to sleep over all the time, 1424 01:03:09,209 --> 01:03:11,083 and Sophie would be on-- on the bed, 1425 01:03:11,167 --> 01:03:13,375 and she would be changing, and she would look, 1426 01:03:13,459 --> 01:03:15,500 and she would say, "Ma, 1427 01:03:15,584 --> 01:03:17,375 did you ever see a baby like this, Ma?" 1428 01:03:17,459 --> 01:03:20,209 The love that--I said, "I know, I know, I know." 1429 01:03:20,292 --> 01:03:24,083 And that's the thing that she won't know. 1430 01:03:24,167 --> 01:03:25,584 Sophie won't know this. 1431 01:03:27,125 --> 01:03:29,167 - "April 7, 2004. 1432 01:03:29,250 --> 01:03:31,876 "Dear Sophie, you are nine weeks old today. 1433 01:03:31,959 --> 01:03:34,083 "It's semi-crazy how much I love you, 1434 01:03:34,167 --> 01:03:36,542 "how you're so clearly the best and most important 1435 01:03:36,626 --> 01:03:38,918 "and realest thing I've ever done. 1436 01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,667 "Sometimes I well up with tears just looking at you. 1437 01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:43,500 "I have a ton of nicknames for you: 1438 01:03:43,584 --> 01:03:46,334 "Peanut, Monkey, Chicken, Gumdrop, 1439 01:03:46,417 --> 01:03:48,500 "Princess Boo-Boo, Soph-Soph. 1440 01:03:48,584 --> 01:03:52,626 I love you so much--so much. Mommy." 1441 01:03:52,709 --> 01:03:55,209 "Happy first birthday. 1442 01:03:55,292 --> 01:03:56,834 "My dear, sweet love bunny 1443 01:03:56,918 --> 01:03:58,709 princess of the universe Sophie, 1444 01:03:58,792 --> 01:04:01,209 "you are meant to read this when you are much older, 1445 01:04:01,292 --> 01:04:03,375 "maybe 18, maybe 21. 1446 01:04:03,459 --> 01:04:05,751 "At any rate, when you are a woman. 1447 01:04:05,834 --> 01:04:08,375 "So hard for me to believe that you will be that someday. 1448 01:04:08,459 --> 01:04:11,250 "Right now, you are delicious-- beyond delicious. 1449 01:04:11,334 --> 01:04:12,792 "You are truly the most beautiful baby 1450 01:04:12,876 --> 01:04:13,959 "I have ever seen. 1451 01:04:14,042 --> 01:04:16,584 "Your spirit is joyous, and it is enormous. 1452 01:04:16,667 --> 01:04:19,584 "I pray that you will keep this amazing spirit always. 1453 01:04:19,667 --> 01:04:22,292 "You are truly the light of my life, my love. 1454 01:04:22,375 --> 01:04:25,209 "You are nothing less than the light of the whole world. 1455 01:04:25,292 --> 01:04:26,876 "I could kiss you a million times 1456 01:04:26,959 --> 01:04:29,083 "and it would not feel like enough. 1457 01:04:29,167 --> 01:04:32,250 "Please take my love with you wherever you go. 1458 01:04:32,334 --> 01:04:34,167 "You hold my heart in yours. 1459 01:04:34,250 --> 01:04:35,417 "My dearest, dearest Sophie, 1460 01:04:35,500 --> 01:04:37,500 "I love you beyond words to tell it. 1461 01:04:37,584 --> 01:04:39,417 Your Mommy, XOXOXO." 1462 01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:41,459 - Happy birthday, Sophie. 1463 01:04:41,542 --> 01:04:43,250 Little Sophie. 1464 01:04:43,334 --> 01:04:45,959 [somber music] 1465 01:04:46,042 --> 01:04:47,959 - Who hurt Mommy? 1466 01:04:48,042 --> 01:04:49,292 - A man. 1467 01:04:49,375 --> 01:04:50,626 - What did he use to hurt her? 1468 01:04:50,709 --> 01:04:52,334 - His hands. 1469 01:04:52,417 --> 01:04:54,709 - What's his name? - Diego Pillco. 1470 01:04:54,792 --> 01:04:56,667 - Where did she die? 1471 01:04:56,751 --> 01:04:58,334 - Her office. - Can we go there? 1472 01:04:58,417 --> 01:05:00,459 - Why? - To see Mommy. 1473 01:05:00,542 --> 01:05:02,000 - But she's not there anymore. 1474 01:05:02,083 --> 01:05:03,918 - Where is she? - She died, sweetie. 1475 01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:06,709 Her body stopped working, and she's not coming back. 1476 01:05:27,417 --> 01:05:29,584 "Dear Mr. Ostroy, 1477 01:05:29,667 --> 01:05:31,042 "I don't know how to start this letter. 1478 01:05:31,125 --> 01:05:33,626 "I'm surprised that you want to talk to me. 1479 01:05:33,709 --> 01:05:36,000 "I also would like to talk with you. 1480 01:05:36,083 --> 01:05:38,709 "I'm very"-- underlined-- 1481 01:05:38,792 --> 01:05:41,375 "very ashamed of myself 1482 01:05:41,459 --> 01:05:45,292 "for what I did to you and your family when I was a teenager. 1483 01:05:45,375 --> 01:05:48,792 "Ashamed for the pain I caused you and your daughter 1484 01:05:48,876 --> 01:05:50,417 "and the rest of your family. 1485 01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:51,959 "I'll carry this guilt and remorse 1486 01:05:52,042 --> 01:05:53,667 "for the rest of my life. 1487 01:05:53,751 --> 01:05:55,500 "If at all possible, could you let me know 1488 01:05:55,584 --> 01:05:57,792 "what day you're planning to come 1489 01:05:57,876 --> 01:06:01,042 "so I can prepare myself mentally? 1490 01:06:01,125 --> 01:06:04,918 Because I'm very scared and nervous." 1491 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,584 Um... 1492 01:06:24,250 --> 01:06:26,250 He said yes. 1493 01:06:28,751 --> 01:06:30,500 - I have a secret too. 1494 01:06:30,584 --> 01:06:33,375 - You, Dawn? - Yeah. 1495 01:06:33,459 --> 01:06:35,459 I have a boyfriend now. 1496 01:06:35,542 --> 01:06:36,918 - No. - Yeah. 1497 01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:38,000 - That's wonderful, honey. 1498 01:06:38,083 --> 01:06:39,375 Who is he? Tell us everything. 1499 01:06:39,459 --> 01:06:40,876 - Oh, well, you're never gonna believe it, 1500 01:06:40,959 --> 01:06:43,000 but you know that guy who came in the diner that time 1501 01:06:43,083 --> 01:06:46,083 and he wouldn't leave-- name was Ogie? 1502 01:06:46,167 --> 01:06:48,751 - Ogie, the stalking elf. Yes, I remember that guy. 1503 01:06:48,834 --> 01:06:50,250 What about him? 1504 01:06:50,334 --> 01:06:52,500 [cheerful music] 1505 01:06:52,584 --> 01:06:55,083 Adrienne was always writing. 1506 01:06:55,167 --> 01:06:57,209 There's always a concept, there's always a thing, 1507 01:06:57,292 --> 01:07:00,584 there's always a--index cards of the characters and-- 1508 01:07:00,667 --> 01:07:02,709 I used to see these things all over the house 1509 01:07:02,792 --> 01:07:03,918 and-- and say, "What is that?" 1510 01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:05,250 "Eh, it's just something I'm working on." 1511 01:07:05,334 --> 01:07:08,709 Or, "That's an idea, that's a"--always ideas. 1512 01:07:08,792 --> 01:07:12,709 And then she said to me, "I'm working on something 1513 01:07:12,792 --> 01:07:16,542 "I really like, and I-- I think-- 1514 01:07:16,626 --> 01:07:18,375 I think has real potential." 1515 01:07:18,459 --> 01:07:20,500 - Sorry, I don't want-- I won't do that anymore. 1516 01:07:20,584 --> 01:07:22,334 You shouldn't be uncomfortable during this time. 1517 01:07:22,417 --> 01:07:23,876 - See, and you're doing it again. 1518 01:07:23,959 --> 01:07:25,167 - What am I doing? - I don't know. 1519 01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:29,125 I mean, you know, you do the-- the Mr. Nice Guy thing and-- 1520 01:07:29,209 --> 01:07:30,334 Forget it, forget it. 1521 01:07:30,417 --> 01:07:31,459 - Good. Okay. 1522 01:07:31,542 --> 01:07:32,459 - I messed it up a little bit. 1523 01:07:32,542 --> 01:07:34,042 - It's fine. I don't care. 1524 01:07:36,292 --> 01:07:38,667 - I was sort of like, "Why doesn't she want to do this?" 1525 01:07:38,751 --> 01:07:40,459 And she's like, "I wanna direct it, I don't--you know." 1526 01:07:40,542 --> 01:07:43,709 - The only time we ever really worked together 1527 01:07:43,792 --> 01:07:46,292 was trying to get "Waitress" made and doing-- 1528 01:07:46,375 --> 01:07:47,834 - The reading. - Doing the reading. 1529 01:07:49,667 --> 01:07:51,876 It was apparent even during the reading, 1530 01:07:51,959 --> 01:07:56,125 she conjured everything, and because she was an actor, 1531 01:07:56,209 --> 01:07:58,792 she knew how to talk to actors. 1532 01:07:58,876 --> 01:08:01,959 - You drop it here. You come in, you rush in. 1533 01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:04,792 - I think the biggest thing about Adrienne, um, 1534 01:08:04,876 --> 01:08:06,334 was, she really knew what she wanted. 1535 01:08:06,417 --> 01:08:08,125 She had such a clear idea of it. 1536 01:08:08,209 --> 01:08:10,459 - In this shot, we just sit down in two and three. 1537 01:08:10,542 --> 01:08:11,792 - Okay. 1538 01:08:11,876 --> 01:08:13,209 - Okay, rehearsing. 1539 01:08:13,292 --> 01:08:15,000 - Look at this, Jenna. 1540 01:08:15,083 --> 01:08:16,959 As you can plainly see, 1541 01:08:17,042 --> 01:08:19,375 my right boob is much higher than my left boob, 1542 01:08:19,459 --> 01:08:22,167 and Dawn here has pasty, pasty skin. 1543 01:08:22,250 --> 01:08:25,042 I'm stuck in a marriage to drooling Phil, the invalid, 1544 01:08:25,125 --> 01:08:26,918 and Dawn eats TV dinners alone, 1545 01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,667 but still we wouldn't rather be you. 1546 01:08:29,751 --> 01:08:32,417 - I do have pasty, pasty skin. 1547 01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:34,459 - It was so funny 1548 01:08:34,542 --> 01:08:37,959 and some, like, real female feelings. 1549 01:08:38,042 --> 01:08:40,709 - I know what you're thinking, 'cause you called him an elf. 1550 01:08:40,792 --> 01:08:42,584 - Only 'cause you initially called him an elf. 1551 01:08:42,667 --> 01:08:43,834 - You're jealous. - No. 1552 01:08:43,918 --> 01:08:46,167 - You are. Because you have 1553 01:08:46,250 --> 01:08:48,417 the most controlling husband in the world. 1554 01:08:48,500 --> 01:08:51,334 And you are stuck there, but I have found someone 1555 01:08:51,417 --> 01:08:52,792 who loves me to death. 1556 01:08:52,876 --> 01:08:54,042 - Well, let's hope not to death. 1557 01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:56,417 - And I am happy! - Good. 1558 01:08:56,500 --> 01:08:58,876 - She understood 1559 01:08:58,959 --> 01:09:01,042 when you weren't being honest in a scene. 1560 01:09:01,125 --> 01:09:04,167 I had built this "are you happy enough?" Cal speech, 1561 01:09:04,250 --> 01:09:06,209 and she goes, "Well, we got it, and it's great. 1562 01:09:06,292 --> 01:09:08,000 I'm so happy, are you happy?" I go, "Yeah, I mean"-- 1563 01:09:08,083 --> 01:09:09,542 She goes, "Great. 1564 01:09:09,626 --> 01:09:12,000 "Hey, can we try one where 1565 01:09:12,083 --> 01:09:14,542 no one's ever asked you this before?" 1566 01:09:14,626 --> 01:09:18,334 - I mean, would you call yourself a happy man? 1567 01:09:18,417 --> 01:09:19,709 - Well, if you're asking me a serious question, 1568 01:09:19,792 --> 01:09:21,876 I'll tell you. 1569 01:09:21,959 --> 01:09:24,000 I'm happy enough. 1570 01:09:24,083 --> 01:09:25,542 I don't expect much. 1571 01:09:25,626 --> 01:09:27,000 I don't give much. 1572 01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:28,792 I don't get much. 1573 01:09:28,876 --> 01:09:31,209 I generally enjoy whatever comes up. 1574 01:09:33,167 --> 01:09:34,751 That's my truth, 1575 01:09:34,834 --> 01:09:37,751 summed up for your feminine judgment. 1576 01:09:37,834 --> 01:09:40,083 I'm happy enough. 1577 01:09:40,167 --> 01:09:42,417 - I felt safe, because I knew 1578 01:09:42,500 --> 01:09:44,918 that if she didn't get what she wanted, 1579 01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:46,709 she wouldn't stop, you know? 1580 01:09:46,792 --> 01:09:48,083 That's really what it-- as an actor, 1581 01:09:48,167 --> 01:09:50,918 you just wanna feel like-- like she knows what she wants, 1582 01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,042 she knows when she gets it, and-- 1583 01:09:53,125 --> 01:09:55,459 you know, and that she has-- and she knows when I'm-- 1584 01:09:55,542 --> 01:09:57,542 I'm not doing it. 1585 01:09:57,626 --> 01:09:58,667 [glass shatters] 1586 01:09:58,751 --> 01:10:01,125 [all gasping, murmuring] 1587 01:10:02,334 --> 01:10:04,417 Jenna, 1588 01:10:04,500 --> 01:10:06,375 I'm very upset with you. 1589 01:10:12,792 --> 01:10:14,167 - Well, of course, you remember none of this, right? 1590 01:10:14,250 --> 01:10:16,584 - Mm-mm. Just from the movie. - Uh-huh. 1591 01:10:17,876 --> 01:10:19,083 Brings back a lot of memories. 1592 01:10:21,751 --> 01:10:24,083 - Bye. - Bye. 1593 01:10:24,167 --> 01:10:26,292 - We--we went to the road, 1594 01:10:26,375 --> 01:10:28,959 like, um, that we walked in at the end of the movie. 1595 01:10:29,042 --> 01:10:30,667 - No way! - Yeah. 1596 01:10:30,751 --> 01:10:34,292 Bye-bye-bye. [squealing] 1597 01:10:34,375 --> 01:10:36,292 - [chuckles] Bye. 1598 01:10:36,375 --> 01:10:37,417 I mean, you were too little. - Yeah. 1599 01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:38,918 - You probably don't even remember that. 1600 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,834 I remember that. - She doesn't remember. 1601 01:10:40,918 --> 01:10:43,292 - You wouldn't let your mom out of your sight. 1602 01:10:43,375 --> 01:10:47,250 And, um, so we just had-- she had to run and hide 1603 01:10:47,334 --> 01:10:49,709 behind a bush, and I was just holding you 1604 01:10:49,792 --> 01:10:51,792 until you kind of calmed down, 1605 01:10:51,876 --> 01:10:54,042 and then we sort of sang together. 1606 01:10:55,375 --> 01:10:59,334 Baby, don't cry, gonna make a pie 1607 01:10:59,417 --> 01:11:04,792 Hold you forever in the middle of my heart 1608 01:11:10,626 --> 01:11:14,959 - On the Monday when we learned of the arrest, 1609 01:11:15,042 --> 01:11:17,876 that's when we also learned that "Waitress" had 1610 01:11:17,959 --> 01:11:20,459 been accepted into Sundance. 1611 01:11:20,542 --> 01:11:23,459 - I'm sure as she was waiting for Sundance's response, 1612 01:11:23,542 --> 01:11:25,459 she was uncertain whether or not-- 1613 01:11:25,542 --> 01:11:26,626 - Yeah, she had no idea. 1614 01:11:26,709 --> 01:11:28,626 And I remember once saying to her, like, 1615 01:11:28,709 --> 01:11:32,000 "Do you know what you have here?" 1616 01:11:32,083 --> 01:11:35,626 And she said, "If it gets into Sundance and people see it, 1617 01:11:35,709 --> 01:11:36,834 it could be big." 1618 01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:39,375 - I didn't think about the film. 1619 01:11:39,459 --> 01:11:41,334 After what happened with Adrienne, 1620 01:11:41,417 --> 01:11:43,209 I didn't think about the film. 1621 01:11:43,292 --> 01:11:46,042 I just-- it seemed insignificant. 1622 01:11:46,125 --> 01:11:48,209 And then, um-- 1623 01:11:48,292 --> 01:11:49,792 and then we went to Sundance. 1624 01:11:49,876 --> 01:11:53,584 [soft rock music] 1625 01:11:53,667 --> 01:11:56,000 - Sundance was something I dreaded going to. 1626 01:11:57,959 --> 01:12:02,083 I knew going in, it was gonna be one of the hardest things 1627 01:12:02,167 --> 01:12:05,042 that any of us in the family had to do. 1628 01:12:06,751 --> 01:12:08,667 - You looked ashen. 1629 01:12:09,667 --> 01:12:11,751 You were there, you were present, 1630 01:12:11,834 --> 01:12:15,667 but it was everything-- every ounce of energy, 1631 01:12:15,751 --> 01:12:19,125 you know, just to be standing up and functioning right. 1632 01:12:20,334 --> 01:12:23,918 - It's the most heart-wrenching 1633 01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:27,751 and most beautiful thing that I've ever experienced. 1634 01:12:27,834 --> 01:12:30,083 We were all there, and-- and you were there, 1635 01:12:30,167 --> 01:12:31,459 and your family was there. 1636 01:12:31,542 --> 01:12:35,083 And we watched this movie, all of us, for the first time. 1637 01:12:38,334 --> 01:12:41,167 [dramatic music playing] 1638 01:12:41,250 --> 01:12:42,375 - Oh. 1639 01:12:43,792 --> 01:12:45,709 Look what you did. 1640 01:12:45,792 --> 01:12:47,709 You made me almost pretty. 1641 01:12:47,792 --> 01:12:50,375 - What do you mean "almost" pretty? 1642 01:12:50,459 --> 01:12:51,542 You're lovely. 1643 01:12:51,626 --> 01:12:53,834 - Lot of people say how, obviously, at Sundance, 1644 01:12:53,918 --> 01:12:55,667 you know, just seeing her-- 1645 01:12:55,751 --> 01:12:57,959 I know how it was for me, but seeing her-- 1646 01:12:58,042 --> 01:13:00,083 - It was a killer! Are you kidding? 1647 01:13:00,167 --> 01:13:02,209 - Aw, I'm sorry, hon. 1648 01:13:02,292 --> 01:13:03,459 - I looked, and then I didn't look. 1649 01:13:03,542 --> 01:13:06,167 I remember I was crying so, 1650 01:13:06,250 --> 01:13:08,083 and there was a man-- I don't know who-- 1651 01:13:08,167 --> 01:13:09,918 who he belonged to, whatever, 1652 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,751 and I remember he-- he was, like, trying to-- 1653 01:13:12,834 --> 01:13:14,959 "It's okay, it's okay, don't worry." 1654 01:13:15,042 --> 01:13:17,959 - As soon as the opening credits started rolling, 1655 01:13:18,042 --> 01:13:19,500 Elaine just buried her head in my shoulder 1656 01:13:19,584 --> 01:13:20,959 and started bawling her eyes out. 1657 01:13:21,042 --> 01:13:23,584 "That's my baby, that's my baby, that's my baby." 1658 01:13:23,667 --> 01:13:25,667 - We were all just confused 1659 01:13:25,751 --> 01:13:28,626 by how that could be a part of this world, 1660 01:13:28,709 --> 01:13:31,751 that this murder could be anywhere connected 1661 01:13:31,834 --> 01:13:37,417 to this movie that was so much about life. 1662 01:13:37,500 --> 01:13:40,042 - Oh, my God. Here it is. 1663 01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:43,959 A character and script and story and everything 1664 01:13:44,042 --> 01:13:46,125 that I know so well. 1665 01:13:46,209 --> 01:13:50,125 It just seemed simultaneously 1666 01:13:50,209 --> 01:13:52,584 magical and unfair. 1667 01:13:53,918 --> 01:13:56,459 - Everywhere we went, people gave you 1668 01:13:56,542 --> 01:14:00,542 such effusive compliments about being in "Waitress." 1669 01:14:00,626 --> 01:14:02,667 I mean, I got into every suite, 1670 01:14:02,751 --> 01:14:04,000 I got into every party-- 1671 01:14:04,083 --> 01:14:05,500 "Oh, you're in 'Waitress,' aren't you?" 1672 01:14:05,584 --> 01:14:07,292 I mean, it was the darling. 1673 01:14:07,375 --> 01:14:12,876 - Here was the success of this film 1674 01:14:12,959 --> 01:14:16,125 by a woman who struggled as a filmmaker 1675 01:14:16,209 --> 01:14:17,834 to get to this point. 1676 01:14:17,918 --> 01:14:19,626 This was gonna be her moment. 1677 01:14:19,709 --> 01:14:21,626 How are we here 1678 01:14:21,709 --> 01:14:23,334 and she's not? 1679 01:14:23,417 --> 01:14:26,417 [soft music] 1680 01:14:28,125 --> 01:14:32,876 I wanted her there, so I took a little vial 1681 01:14:32,959 --> 01:14:35,375 of her ashes. 1682 01:14:35,459 --> 01:14:37,709 And I got up really early that day 1683 01:14:37,792 --> 01:14:40,083 and went to the top of the hill, 1684 01:14:40,167 --> 01:14:43,042 stood in the middle of the street, 1685 01:14:43,125 --> 01:14:46,042 and just, like, walked the yellow line 1686 01:14:46,125 --> 01:14:48,042 and just... 1687 01:14:48,125 --> 01:14:49,709 threw her ashes in the air. 1688 01:14:49,792 --> 01:14:53,000 - No, you never told me that. - All the way down the street. 1689 01:14:53,083 --> 01:14:57,375 And then that night, I brought the little vial again, 1690 01:14:57,459 --> 01:15:00,000 and because I wanted her in the theater. 1691 01:15:00,083 --> 01:15:02,000 This was her moment. 1692 01:15:05,125 --> 01:15:06,834 It was her-- her premiere. 1693 01:15:06,918 --> 01:15:08,542 She had to be there. 1694 01:15:11,459 --> 01:15:15,584 And I remember throwing ashes in--in the air, 1695 01:15:15,667 --> 01:15:17,584 and Harvey Weinstein walked right by. 1696 01:15:17,667 --> 01:15:19,375 And they landed on his-- - Whoa. 1697 01:15:19,459 --> 01:15:21,209 - On his shoulders. 1698 01:15:21,292 --> 01:15:26,292 And I just, like, started laughing on the inside, 1699 01:15:26,375 --> 01:15:29,709 because I just-- like, literally it was as if 1700 01:15:29,792 --> 01:15:32,709 Adrienne was right next to me 1701 01:15:32,792 --> 01:15:37,542 laughing and thinking that was the funniest thing ever. 1702 01:15:41,083 --> 01:15:44,667 - I started out saying, "I'm never ever going to speak 1703 01:15:44,751 --> 01:15:46,876 "like it's harder because I'm a woman. 1704 01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:50,167 That's the last thing I'm ever, ever gonna do." 1705 01:15:50,250 --> 01:15:53,959 And then, you know, five years later, I was saying, 1706 01:15:54,042 --> 01:15:56,167 "You know, it really is much harder because I'm a woman, 1707 01:15:56,250 --> 01:15:58,292 "much harder, and I want everyone to know. 1708 01:15:58,375 --> 01:16:00,459 And I want to talk about it constantly." 1709 01:16:00,542 --> 01:16:04,584 And--and then, now I'm sort of back to feeling 1710 01:16:04,667 --> 01:16:06,334 like it's hard for everybody. 1711 01:16:06,417 --> 01:16:08,584 It's hard. It's a hard business. 1712 01:16:14,334 --> 01:16:16,417 - I just made a decision early on 1713 01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:21,918 that I not only need to accept what happened, 1714 01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:25,876 in that "shit happens, life's not fair" kind of way, 1715 01:16:25,959 --> 01:16:28,918 but also try to spin some gold from it, 1716 01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:32,876 to turn what is probably the most horrifying negative 1717 01:16:32,959 --> 01:16:34,959 I'll ever experience in my life 1718 01:16:35,042 --> 01:16:38,334 to something positive somewhere, somehow. 1719 01:16:38,417 --> 01:16:42,834 Um, so that's what got me started very early on 1720 01:16:42,918 --> 01:16:47,292 on creating a foundation to support women filmmakers. 1721 01:16:52,083 --> 01:16:55,000 [Sara Bareilles' "Opening Up"] 1722 01:16:56,667 --> 01:17:01,626 - 2007, saw that film, loved the characters, 1723 01:17:01,709 --> 01:17:03,792 felt for them, cared about them. 1724 01:17:03,876 --> 01:17:06,959 The storytelling, of course, a wonderful story. 1725 01:17:07,042 --> 01:17:08,792 It felt like those characters would reach 1726 01:17:08,876 --> 01:17:11,209 an emotional moment in their lives 1727 01:17:11,292 --> 01:17:15,250 where they had to burst out in song or dance. 1728 01:17:15,334 --> 01:17:16,918 - The day starts like the rest we've seen 1729 01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:19,918 Another carbon copy of an old routine 1730 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,584 - Days keep coming - One out, one in 1731 01:17:22,667 --> 01:17:23,918 all: They keep coming 1732 01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:26,417 - Make that coffee strong enough to chew. 1733 01:17:27,959 --> 01:17:30,125 - I think in the year 2019, 1734 01:17:30,209 --> 01:17:33,959 we'll be 1,300 performances deep into our Broadway run. 1735 01:17:34,042 --> 01:17:36,667 I mean, that's preposterous. 1736 01:17:36,751 --> 01:17:40,125 - It was always really precious to us 1737 01:17:40,209 --> 01:17:43,792 to maintain the integrity of-- of her mission statement 1738 01:17:43,876 --> 01:17:47,500 and the sort of bold feminism of it. 1739 01:17:47,584 --> 01:17:52,125 - It's delivered with such humor and fantasy 1740 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:56,125 with Jenna's pies, and it's just 1741 01:17:56,209 --> 01:17:59,250 got its own signature tone. 1742 01:17:59,334 --> 01:18:02,417 - There's victory-- there's human victory here 1743 01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:04,250 in--of the best kind. 1744 01:18:04,334 --> 01:18:06,250 - Sugar 1745 01:18:09,792 --> 01:18:14,083 Sugar, butter, flour 1746 01:18:17,334 --> 01:18:19,417 - I did a lot of talking to Adrienne. 1747 01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:22,709 I--like, out loud, at the piano, 1748 01:18:22,792 --> 01:18:25,709 come on in, come play, come play with me. 1749 01:18:25,792 --> 01:18:27,334 Let's create something. 1750 01:18:27,417 --> 01:18:30,209 - She is messy 1751 01:18:30,292 --> 01:18:33,375 But she's kind 1752 01:18:33,459 --> 01:18:37,125 She is lonely 1753 01:18:37,209 --> 01:18:39,584 Most of the time 1754 01:18:39,667 --> 01:18:44,292 She is all of this mixed up and baked 1755 01:18:44,375 --> 01:18:48,334 In a beautiful pie 1756 01:18:48,417 --> 01:18:52,334 She is gone, but she used to be 1757 01:18:52,417 --> 01:18:56,375 Mine 1758 01:18:56,459 --> 01:19:00,792 - Jenna's someone who is endlessly loyal and caretaking 1759 01:19:00,876 --> 01:19:03,334 and self-diminishing. 1760 01:19:03,417 --> 01:19:04,417 - The queen of kindness. 1761 01:19:04,500 --> 01:19:06,083 - The queen of kindness and goodness 1762 01:19:06,167 --> 01:19:07,459 to--to a fault. 1763 01:19:07,542 --> 01:19:10,751 It's then so powerful to watch that person, 1764 01:19:10,834 --> 01:19:13,918 which we can all relate to in some way, shape, or form, 1765 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,042 rise above that limitation. 1766 01:19:16,125 --> 01:19:18,834 And to watch it be a happy ending, it's so nice. 1767 01:19:18,918 --> 01:19:21,500 - But used to be 1768 01:19:21,584 --> 01:19:28,542 Mine 1769 01:19:30,709 --> 01:19:33,375 Oh, used to be 1770 01:19:33,459 --> 01:19:40,375 Mine 1771 01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:50,918 We just had this goal of honoring her. 1772 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:53,626 And whenever things would get tough-- 1773 01:19:53,709 --> 01:19:57,459 I remember at one point, I had a sticky up on my mirror 1774 01:19:57,542 --> 01:20:00,334 in Broadway that said, "It's for Adrienne." 1775 01:20:00,417 --> 01:20:07,083 Mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie 1776 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,042 She is gone 1777 01:20:12,125 --> 01:20:15,334 But she used to be 1778 01:20:15,417 --> 01:20:20,834 Mine 1779 01:20:20,918 --> 01:20:23,167 [applause] 1780 01:20:23,250 --> 01:20:26,959 - I want to take a moment to talk about the fifth, uh, 1781 01:20:27,042 --> 01:20:29,918 female on the team, and that's Adrienne Shelly. 1782 01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:32,959 [cheers and applause] 1783 01:20:36,751 --> 01:20:39,375 For those of who don't know, but I think most of you do, 1784 01:20:39,459 --> 01:20:43,125 Adrienne wrote, directed, and was one of the stars 1785 01:20:43,209 --> 01:20:46,417 of the movie "Waitress," and she died 1786 01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:49,083 before the movie was bought at Sundance, 1787 01:20:49,167 --> 01:20:52,876 before she could experience how embraced 1788 01:20:52,959 --> 01:20:55,250 her beautiful gem that she created was-- 1789 01:20:55,334 --> 01:20:57,459 this beautiful pie she created. 1790 01:20:57,542 --> 01:21:00,751 And she wrote this movie before the Me Too movement, 1791 01:21:00,834 --> 01:21:03,542 when stories about quiet bravery of women 1792 01:21:03,626 --> 01:21:05,209 were deemed unimportant. 1793 01:21:05,292 --> 01:21:08,250 And they were impossible to get made, and she got it made. 1794 01:21:08,334 --> 01:21:11,417 To Adrienne, I think I speak for all of us when I say, 1795 01:21:11,500 --> 01:21:13,375 as we all look up, 1796 01:21:13,459 --> 01:21:15,751 thank you for taking us to the moon, moon pie. 1797 01:21:15,834 --> 01:21:18,834 [cheers and applause] 1798 01:21:23,042 --> 01:21:27,792 - I was sobbing the whole time watching the show. 1799 01:21:27,876 --> 01:21:30,959 And towards the end, I felt paralyzed. 1800 01:21:31,042 --> 01:21:33,459 Like, I didn't want to leave the theater. 1801 01:21:33,542 --> 01:21:35,417 I couldn't leave. 1802 01:21:35,500 --> 01:21:38,125 Uh, and eventually, I made my way out, 1803 01:21:38,209 --> 01:21:40,667 and again, I was, like, hanging around. 1804 01:21:40,751 --> 01:21:42,876 I didn't know for what. Like, I just didn't want 1805 01:21:42,959 --> 01:21:45,209 to leave the theater. It was such-- 1806 01:21:45,292 --> 01:21:48,209 I don't know, this was like my connection 1807 01:21:48,292 --> 01:21:52,125 with Adrienne, this is, you know, my last kind of... 1808 01:21:54,042 --> 01:21:55,751 Time with her. 1809 01:21:58,167 --> 01:22:00,626 - The thing that I picked up from working with Hal, 1810 01:22:00,709 --> 01:22:05,709 he gave me a--you know, a sort of way to drop my own timidity, 1811 01:22:05,792 --> 01:22:09,667 you know, to--to understand how important it is to-- 1812 01:22:09,751 --> 01:22:12,125 if--when you're-- when you're making a film, 1813 01:22:12,209 --> 01:22:15,709 that you should ask for what it is you want, you know, 1814 01:22:15,792 --> 01:22:19,000 and to not sort of shy away from what your own, 1815 01:22:19,083 --> 01:22:20,667 uh, ideas are. 1816 01:22:20,751 --> 01:22:23,500 His films are unique and they could only be made by him. 1817 01:22:23,584 --> 01:22:26,250 And I'm hoping that one day, 1818 01:22:26,334 --> 01:22:29,167 someone might say that about me too. 1819 01:22:31,209 --> 01:22:34,167 [suspenseful music] 1820 01:22:45,375 --> 01:22:47,250 - Did you ever meet Pillco? 1821 01:22:47,334 --> 01:22:49,209 - I saw him in court a couple of times. 1822 01:22:49,292 --> 01:22:51,375 - Can I see him? Show me a picture of him. 1823 01:22:51,459 --> 01:22:53,542 - Yeah, if that's what you want. 1824 01:22:53,626 --> 01:22:55,918 - Will you ever meet him? - Yes, someday. 1825 01:22:56,000 --> 01:22:57,083 Not to forgive him 1826 01:22:57,167 --> 01:22:58,918 but to learn the truth about what he did 1827 01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:01,125 and make him know how special Mommy was. 1828 01:23:01,209 --> 01:23:02,709 - I'd never forgive him. 1829 01:23:02,792 --> 01:23:04,042 And when you show me his picture, 1830 01:23:04,125 --> 01:23:07,250 we should draw a mustache, elf ears, and devil horns on it. 1831 01:23:09,584 --> 01:23:11,500 [phone rings] 1832 01:23:11,584 --> 01:23:13,667 - Here's Sophie. 1833 01:23:13,751 --> 01:23:15,584 Hey, Shmoph. - Hi. 1834 01:23:15,667 --> 01:23:17,334 How are you feeling about today? 1835 01:23:17,417 --> 01:23:20,334 - I'm a little nervous but not as nervous 1836 01:23:20,417 --> 01:23:22,876 as I think I'll probably feel when I see the prison. 1837 01:23:22,959 --> 01:23:24,667 - Yeah. Text me if you want. 1838 01:23:24,751 --> 01:23:27,125 - Okay. I love you so much. 1839 01:23:27,209 --> 01:23:28,209 - Okay, I love you too so much. 1840 01:23:28,292 --> 01:23:29,250 Good luck. 1841 01:23:30,626 --> 01:23:35,209 - Now, I'm not coming here 'cause I need to beat him up. 1842 01:23:35,292 --> 01:23:37,626 Just want him to be honest. 1843 01:23:37,709 --> 01:23:41,250 You know, I want him to shed light on stuff, 1844 01:23:41,334 --> 01:23:46,125 and I want him to acknowledge what he did 1845 01:23:46,209 --> 01:23:50,250 and who he took and the consequence of that. 1846 01:23:53,542 --> 01:23:55,709 It'd be funny if everything I said just goes out the window 1847 01:23:55,792 --> 01:23:58,375 and I fly into some fucking rage. 1848 01:23:58,459 --> 01:24:00,417 Have to be carted out of there 1849 01:24:00,500 --> 01:24:02,083 and that's the end of the interview. 1850 01:24:04,292 --> 01:24:07,292 [tense music] 1851 01:24:14,209 --> 01:24:16,417 I think I wanna vomit. 1852 01:24:47,667 --> 01:24:50,209 13 years ago, Adrienne died. 1853 01:24:54,918 --> 01:24:57,584 Part of me died that day. 1854 01:24:58,834 --> 01:25:00,834 There's some things I--I-- I need to know, 1855 01:25:00,918 --> 01:25:03,209 some things I'd like to know. 1856 01:25:03,292 --> 01:25:06,083 There's also some things I'd like you to know. 1857 01:25:06,167 --> 01:25:08,083 That's really why I'm here today. 1858 01:25:10,250 --> 01:25:11,751 I'm not here to attack you. 1859 01:25:11,834 --> 01:25:13,626 I'm just here to share 1860 01:25:13,709 --> 01:25:17,334 what I've had in my head for 13 years. 1861 01:25:18,125 --> 01:25:20,417 I'm sure you've had a lot to think about too. 1862 01:25:21,667 --> 01:25:23,459 - I'm sorry. 1863 01:25:25,542 --> 01:25:28,792 I wish I could go back and change things. 1864 01:25:28,876 --> 01:25:30,459 I can't. 1865 01:25:31,751 --> 01:25:34,375 [speaking Spanish] 1866 01:25:34,459 --> 01:25:37,167 - I was never aggressive. 1867 01:25:37,250 --> 01:25:38,959 I never hurt anyone. 1868 01:25:40,667 --> 01:25:46,876 - I need to understand how someone like you, 1869 01:25:46,959 --> 01:25:49,876 who says he never hurt anyone-- 1870 01:25:49,959 --> 01:25:51,083 help me understand how you-- 1871 01:25:51,167 --> 01:25:53,500 how you turned into a murderer that day. 1872 01:25:53,584 --> 01:25:56,584 - [speaking Spanish] 1873 01:25:58,584 --> 01:26:02,667 - I came to this country owing $13,500. 1874 01:26:07,584 --> 01:26:11,209 My mom put my-- put her house in the bank 1875 01:26:11,292 --> 01:26:12,876 so that I could have money. 1876 01:26:18,709 --> 01:26:22,083 I was looking to find how am I gonna send the money. 1877 01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:27,375 I started working in apartments. 1878 01:26:35,167 --> 01:26:38,000 And one day, I saw someone come out of the apartments. 1879 01:26:41,667 --> 01:26:44,667 And I said to myself, "I'm gonna go in to look for money." 1880 01:26:44,751 --> 01:26:48,751 - So you were looking 1881 01:26:48,834 --> 01:26:52,959 to rob apartments that day? 1882 01:26:53,042 --> 01:26:56,083 - [speaking Spanish] 1883 01:26:57,417 --> 01:26:59,083 - I had been doing it for a while, 1884 01:26:59,167 --> 01:27:01,626 since I started needing money. 1885 01:27:03,792 --> 01:27:05,918 Nothing ever happened-- - In that building or anywhere? 1886 01:27:06,000 --> 01:27:09,292 - [speaking Spanish] - Everywhere. 1887 01:27:09,375 --> 01:27:11,918 Wherever they put me to work. 1888 01:27:15,542 --> 01:27:18,792 That day, they sent me to work where she lived-- 1889 01:27:18,876 --> 01:27:20,834 where your wife lived. 1890 01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:28,000 So when I put my ear to the door, the door opened. 1891 01:27:33,167 --> 01:27:34,709 I was afraid that I was gonna get caught, 1892 01:27:34,792 --> 01:27:36,167 but then I saw a bag. 1893 01:27:39,918 --> 01:27:42,459 When I took out the money, I put the bag back in. 1894 01:27:47,250 --> 01:27:51,375 And that's when the lady came out and she ran after me. 1895 01:27:55,375 --> 01:27:57,042 And when she started yelling at me... 1896 01:28:00,334 --> 01:28:03,876 The only word that I heard that she said was "police." 1897 01:28:09,209 --> 01:28:10,584 She went to grab the phone. 1898 01:28:14,584 --> 01:28:16,417 I got behind her and covered her mouth 1899 01:28:16,500 --> 01:28:18,334 and told her not to call the police. 1900 01:28:21,292 --> 01:28:24,334 I lost my mind. I lost it. 1901 01:28:27,417 --> 01:28:29,375 And I was choking her with my hand. 1902 01:28:32,584 --> 01:28:34,751 At the same time, I was covering her mouth... 1903 01:28:36,459 --> 01:28:38,000 So that she wouldn't make noise. 1904 01:28:40,876 --> 01:28:43,042 I took my hand off, 1905 01:28:43,125 --> 01:28:44,500 and I let her go. 1906 01:28:45,918 --> 01:28:47,417 And I saw her-- 1907 01:28:48,918 --> 01:28:50,417 That her-- 1908 01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:52,334 her lips were blue. 1909 01:28:54,417 --> 01:28:56,417 Then I thought, "Oh, I killed her." 1910 01:28:59,417 --> 01:29:01,584 And I took her to the bathroom. 1911 01:29:05,209 --> 01:29:08,167 And then I hung her like if she committed suicide. 1912 01:29:08,250 --> 01:29:10,542 - Did you think you got-- you got away with it? 1913 01:29:10,626 --> 01:29:13,334 - [speaking Spanish] - Yes. 1914 01:29:14,834 --> 01:29:17,125 - I want to show you some pictures. 1915 01:29:19,500 --> 01:29:21,042 You took a wife. 1916 01:29:23,209 --> 01:29:25,834 You took someone who I was madly in love with. 1917 01:29:27,792 --> 01:29:30,167 You took a mother. 1918 01:29:30,250 --> 01:29:32,918 That's my daughter with her mom. 1919 01:29:33,000 --> 01:29:35,417 They don't have anything anymore. 1920 01:29:37,000 --> 01:29:39,042 And they had everything. 1921 01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:46,125 That was taken October 31st. 1922 01:29:46,209 --> 01:29:48,250 That was the day before you killed her. 1923 01:29:52,542 --> 01:29:54,459 Adrienne missed a lot. 1924 01:29:54,542 --> 01:29:56,459 She missed birthdays. 1925 01:29:56,542 --> 01:30:00,459 That's the first birthday after her mom left her. 1926 01:30:00,542 --> 01:30:03,542 This is a recent birthday, still no mom. 1927 01:30:05,500 --> 01:30:07,959 This is what she was left with--me. 1928 01:30:08,042 --> 01:30:10,375 Just me. 1929 01:30:11,667 --> 01:30:15,083 First day she rode a bike. Her mom wasn't there for that. 1930 01:30:15,167 --> 01:30:17,751 First days of school. 1931 01:30:17,834 --> 01:30:20,083 Mommy wasn't there for that. 1932 01:30:20,167 --> 01:30:22,834 She's a damn good soccer player. 1933 01:30:22,918 --> 01:30:26,167 Mommy's never seen any of her games. 1934 01:30:26,250 --> 01:30:29,626 This is-- this is the life you took away. 1935 01:30:38,209 --> 01:30:41,125 [somber music] 1936 01:30:46,584 --> 01:30:48,209 Okay. I'm done. 1937 01:30:50,417 --> 01:30:54,459 - [speaking Spanish] - I'm sorry. 1938 01:30:54,542 --> 01:30:56,125 - Stand up. 1939 01:31:20,125 --> 01:31:21,667 [door slams] 1940 01:31:28,292 --> 01:31:30,500 - I remember being very young, 1941 01:31:30,584 --> 01:31:34,083 and I just wanted to know exactly what happened. 1942 01:31:36,250 --> 01:31:38,417 - What did Mommy look like when you found her? 1943 01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:40,209 - She looked bad. 1944 01:31:40,292 --> 01:31:42,667 - Where was she? - In the bathroom. 1945 01:31:42,751 --> 01:31:44,334 - How did he kill her? - He strangled her 1946 01:31:44,417 --> 01:31:45,500 and put a rope around her neck 1947 01:31:45,584 --> 01:31:47,417 so it'd look like she killed herself. 1948 01:31:47,500 --> 01:31:49,918 But no one believed that. She loved you so much 1949 01:31:50,000 --> 01:31:51,250 and would never have left you. 1950 01:31:51,334 --> 01:31:53,792 - I bet it was scary. - It was. 1951 01:31:53,876 --> 01:31:55,959 - What did you tell me when she died? 1952 01:31:56,042 --> 01:31:57,292 - I told you her body stopped working 1953 01:31:57,375 --> 01:31:58,626 and she wasn't coming home. 1954 01:31:58,709 --> 01:32:00,083 - Did I know what dying meant? 1955 01:32:00,167 --> 01:32:02,417 - No. - That was good, right? 1956 01:32:02,500 --> 01:32:04,834 - Yeah. You were so little. 1957 01:32:08,459 --> 01:32:11,542 - How often do I think about him in my life? 1958 01:32:11,626 --> 01:32:13,000 Every day. 1959 01:32:13,083 --> 01:32:16,083 Whenever I think of her, I think of him. 1960 01:32:16,167 --> 01:32:19,709 But it's also different, because I'm grieving her 1961 01:32:19,792 --> 01:32:21,334 in a different way 1962 01:32:21,417 --> 01:32:23,459 and more so kind of. 1963 01:32:24,834 --> 01:32:27,709 both: One, two, three. 1964 01:32:27,792 --> 01:32:31,125 - She's entering an age where, you know, 1965 01:32:31,209 --> 01:32:34,626 nobody can take the place of a mother, 1966 01:32:34,709 --> 01:32:39,292 and I'm sure she... wishes she were here 1967 01:32:39,375 --> 01:32:43,834 and needs her for so many different things. 1968 01:32:43,918 --> 01:32:47,125 - If you could bring Mommy back for one day tomorrow, 1969 01:32:47,209 --> 01:32:49,292 what would you get up and do? 1970 01:32:50,500 --> 01:32:52,250 - Um... 1971 01:32:53,500 --> 01:32:54,792 Just walk around. 1972 01:32:54,876 --> 01:32:56,042 - Mm-hmm. 1973 01:32:57,125 --> 01:32:59,083 Would you guys talk a lot? - Yeah. 1974 01:32:59,167 --> 01:33:00,918 - What would you tell her? 1975 01:33:12,584 --> 01:33:15,834 - I don't know. Just whatever came to mind. 1976 01:33:15,918 --> 01:33:18,459 'Cause I could, you know? - Mm-hmm. 1977 01:33:20,918 --> 01:33:25,167 I struggle with the concept of closure. 1978 01:33:25,250 --> 01:33:29,042 My life will always be about grief. 1979 01:33:29,125 --> 01:33:31,292 You know? There will always be 1980 01:33:31,375 --> 01:33:33,042 that ghost in the room. 1981 01:33:33,125 --> 01:33:36,959 The love that I had at that time, it didn't go anywhere. 1982 01:33:37,042 --> 01:33:43,167 It just, like, froze. Like, she is frozen in time. 1983 01:33:43,250 --> 01:33:45,626 - Every morning, we talk. 1984 01:33:45,709 --> 01:33:47,459 She helps me. 1985 01:33:47,542 --> 01:33:48,792 I loved her. 1986 01:33:48,876 --> 01:33:51,083 I loved her. 1987 01:33:52,125 --> 01:33:55,667 I can't even believe it sometimes. 1988 01:33:55,751 --> 01:33:57,375 She's so alive. 1989 01:33:57,459 --> 01:34:00,000 She was so alive, Andy. She was so alive. 1990 01:34:00,083 --> 01:34:02,000 - I think about her every day. 1991 01:34:02,083 --> 01:34:04,709 I think about my girls' pain in not knowing their aunt, 1992 01:34:04,792 --> 01:34:06,876 Sophie's pain. 1993 01:34:06,959 --> 01:34:11,792 - To me, her greatest joy was that child. 1994 01:34:14,042 --> 01:34:16,209 - She's a little wind-up toy. 1995 01:34:16,292 --> 01:34:21,042 - So to watch Sophie grow into this incredible woman 1996 01:34:21,125 --> 01:34:25,083 is terribly painful. 1997 01:34:25,167 --> 01:34:27,334 And beautiful, because she's such an amazing kid 1998 01:34:27,417 --> 01:34:29,167 and has so much of Adrienne in her 1999 01:34:29,250 --> 01:34:32,000 and all the mannerisms and all the sweetness 2000 01:34:32,083 --> 01:34:33,375 and the silliness 2001 01:34:33,459 --> 01:34:35,792 and sense of humor and all of that, 2002 01:34:35,876 --> 01:34:38,709 but Adrienne not getting to have that... 2003 01:34:38,792 --> 01:34:40,250 - Mm-hmm. 2004 01:34:40,334 --> 01:34:42,125 - Is worse than anything to me. 2005 01:34:44,542 --> 01:34:47,125 - She was getting more and more confident in her life 2006 01:34:47,209 --> 01:34:49,959 as a mom, a wife, and all that, 2007 01:34:50,042 --> 01:34:52,834 but in her-- her creative life too, 2008 01:34:52,918 --> 01:34:56,751 she had a very clear idea where she wanted to go. 2009 01:34:57,751 --> 01:35:00,042 - She craved making great work. 2010 01:35:00,125 --> 01:35:02,751 She craved having her voice heard 2011 01:35:02,834 --> 01:35:05,042 and her vision be out there. 2012 01:35:05,792 --> 01:35:08,542 - You just-- with certain people, you know 2013 01:35:08,626 --> 01:35:11,250 certain things are gonna happen if they continue on. 2014 01:35:12,584 --> 01:35:13,542 - Do you hear that? 2015 01:35:13,626 --> 01:35:16,125 - With Adrienne, it's always gonna be 2016 01:35:16,209 --> 01:35:18,834 the what could've been, what was. 2017 01:35:24,209 --> 01:35:29,334 - I just have a very specific kind of satisfaction 2018 01:35:29,417 --> 01:35:32,500 when I walk around midtown and see "Waitress" 2019 01:35:32,584 --> 01:35:35,292 on a Broadway marquee. 2020 01:35:35,375 --> 01:35:38,417 The majority of people that are going to see that show 2021 01:35:38,500 --> 01:35:42,125 every day come from all different walks of life. 2022 01:35:42,209 --> 01:35:44,167 They don't know her story. They don't even know 2023 01:35:44,250 --> 01:35:46,667 what the deal is behind "Waitress." 2024 01:35:46,751 --> 01:35:48,792 And judging it completely on its own merits... 2025 01:35:48,876 --> 01:35:50,542 - Well, sure. - And having an incredible 2026 01:35:50,626 --> 01:35:53,626 experience as an artist, 2027 01:35:53,709 --> 01:35:57,000 that's the best we can hope for. 2028 01:35:57,083 --> 01:36:02,375 In that regard, what an incredible thing she's done. 2029 01:36:04,125 --> 01:36:08,792 - Creative desire. Create life and celebrate life 2030 01:36:08,876 --> 01:36:11,000 and contribute to the world. 2031 01:36:11,083 --> 01:36:13,876 It's part of, you know, being a woman. 2032 01:36:13,959 --> 01:36:17,042 It's part of being a human being, I think. 2033 01:36:19,250 --> 01:36:20,417 - After we do this interview, 2034 01:36:20,500 --> 01:36:22,042 I'm just gonna give you this tape, you know? 2035 01:36:22,125 --> 01:36:26,125 And you can have it and, uh, maybe, like, one day perhaps 2036 01:36:26,209 --> 01:36:29,125 there's an off-chance that your children might see it. 2037 01:36:29,209 --> 01:36:32,167 - Mm, mm, mm! Delicious baby. 2038 01:36:32,250 --> 01:36:35,083 - What would you, if anything, want them to know 2039 01:36:35,167 --> 01:36:39,334 or understand about you at this point in your life? 2040 01:36:40,918 --> 01:36:43,375 - That I--you know, I-- I don't have them yet, 2041 01:36:43,459 --> 01:36:48,042 but I... I'm thinking of them. 2042 01:36:48,125 --> 01:36:49,209 You know? 2043 01:36:49,292 --> 01:36:53,459 I really want them to have a good life. 2044 01:37:00,042 --> 01:37:04,751 Yeah, their mother starred in some movies and... 2045 01:37:04,834 --> 01:37:08,167 was on magazine covers and... 2046 01:37:08,250 --> 01:37:11,792 was admired by a few people, 2047 01:37:11,876 --> 01:37:13,959 but, uh, 2048 01:37:14,042 --> 01:37:18,918 none of that she considers as important as they will be. 2049 01:37:20,459 --> 01:37:22,250 - All right. - All right, say bye-bye. 2050 01:37:22,334 --> 01:37:24,083 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 2051 01:37:24,167 --> 01:37:26,459 - All right, bye, camera. - Say bye-bye. 2052 01:37:26,542 --> 01:37:27,959 - Sophie, can you wave? 2053 01:37:28,042 --> 01:37:29,375 Can you wave bye-bye to the camera? 2054 01:37:29,459 --> 01:37:32,083 - Wave bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 2055 01:37:41,834 --> 01:37:44,709 [expressive piano music] 2056 01:39:35,959 --> 01:39:38,459 [bright tone]