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- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- FEMALE ANNOUNCER: The Bellhark Holiday Channel proudly presents
our 187 Days of Christmas holiday movie extravaganza.
It's our favorite time of year,
and that's why we celebrate it for six months.
The holidays aren't the holidays without Bellhark movies, family,
and dear sponsors like...
Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
And now, our presentation.
- * Jingle ball, jingle bell, jingle ball shake *
* Jingle balls cling and jingle balls fling *
* Huffin' and puffin' through snow that we plow *
* The jingle party is starting now *
* Jingle ball, jingle bell, jingle ball shake *
* Jingle balls pounce and jingle balls bounce *
* Fallin' and sprawlin' on jingle bell snow *
- HOLLY: Excuse me! I'm trying to get back to work.
Can we Uther? Yes, I know.
I was due at the office 10 minutes ago.
It's all this darn Christmas getting in my way.
Ugh!
- Watch it, lady! This is New York!
And it's seven days 'til Christmas.
- January can't come soon enough.
- TY: So I'll set up the video conference at four,
unless you'd rather have it at three
and do the budget review at six.
Hello? Holly, are you there?
Holly? Holly?
- Oh! Uh, sorry, right. Be right up.
Ty, I'd like to review the files on Alpensong.
- Here you go, afternoon coffee, black,
signatures on the top stack here, please.
Do you need me to handle Secret Santa for you?
- Secret Sant--oh no, Ty, I'm not doing that.
We are in the business of excellence,
and excellence doesn't just stop
for some silly holiday tradition.
Now, what about Alpensong?
- Holly, everyone's going out for holiday drinks.
Let's worry about Alpensong afterwards.
- Ty, this is a tough business. Grow a pair.
- We lost the deal. - What!?
I put my heart and soul into that deal!
- I'm sorry, Holly, you worked your tail off.
Let's just grab a drink and we can--
- Convince, coerce, conquer! Convince, coerce, conquer!
- Uh oh. Windmere wants to see you.
He said now.
- [grunts]
- Holly! Wanted to check it.
You got a minute? - Sure, but just a minute.
I have a lot of business goals to achieve today.
- We needed that Alpensong deal.
It's not like you to lose. You surf the seas of success.
You literally wrote the book on it.
- Well, you know how passionate I am
about the hotel and resort business.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna give you another chance to prove that you're
the tiger I know you can be.
- Thank you, Mr. Windmere.
- I want you to check out a small-town family inn
I've been eyeballing.
It's the perfect setting for one of our signature golf,
racetrack, and water park resorts.
1900 acres of fresh pine forest just waiting to be cleared.
- Love it. - You'll leave in the morning.
- The morning?
But, uh--but it's almost Christmas.
- [laughs] You and I are the same.
Everyone knows that we don't go in
for that love and family jazz, no.
It's decided.
I'm sending you to Maine, little place called Yuletown.
- But I hate small towns. - Buy them out!
All right, I won't keep you. Early start tomorrow.
- Yes.
And believe me, I've got big plans tonight, so...
- [car horns honking] - [siren wailing]
- Digital assistant, play me "The Seven Seas Solution
to Success in Business" by Holly Jenkins.
- ASSISTANT: Okay, here's "Seven Seasonal Recipes
to Make Your Christmas List." - Oh no, no, digital assistant,
play "The Seven Seas Solution to Success--"
- ASSISTANT: Number one, cranberry cream cheese bites.
- HOLLY: Digital assistant?
No, I said play "The Seven Seas--"
- ASSISTANT: Stir continuously for 30 minutes.
- Digital assistant, can it. Stop it!
- ASSISTANT: Place in oven until a golden--
- [sighs]
- [determined music]
[music turns wistful]
- [video chat jingle]
- Hey, girl - Jingle, jingle!
It's your bubbly best friend calling.
Thought you might wanna join me for a little holiday exposition.
- Oh, I don't know. What is it? What exposition?
- BUBBLY FRIEND: Oh, you know, model train, champagne.
- Oh, no, no, thanks. I'll pass.
- Let me guess.
You're sitting on your couch, reading your own book,
and staring at that old picture of you and Chance.
- No. No.
No, I'm going over my business plans for my business deal.
- Holly, breakups are hard.
You and Chance met the first day of business school.
You were the power couple everyone looked up to.
And then six months ago, out of nowhere,
he decides to take a break
to make sure you're right for each other?
- Ugh! Sorry to always make you revisit my backstory.
- That's what I'm here for. Sure you don't wanna meet up?
- No, no, I'm in for the night.
- Okay. That's it for me, then.
Bye! - Bye, bestie!
Digital assistant, play
"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey.
- ASSISTANT: Sorry, I can't afford the rights to that song.
Here's something similar called
"All I'll Have for Christmas is Fruit" by Shania Gary.
- [just modified enough Christmassy intro plays]
* Tis the season for fresh citrus *
* Give me all those clementines *
* I don't want those Christmas cookies *
* Keep your cheeseballs, cakes, and pies *
* I love grapefruit, pears, and mangos *
* Plums and kiwis can be fun
* Fiber fills the loot
* All I want for Christmas is fruit *
- Excuse me, how do I get to Yuletown?
- Yuletown? [laughs]
Well, that's at the northernmost tip of Maine.
The only way you can get there is by train.
Oh--oh, and the train is right there!
- [train whistle]
- Oh.
- * The parties that I go to nightly *
* When Christmas is in the air *
* Means my dress fits way too tightly *
- [train whistle]
- CONDUCTOR: All aboard the train to Yuletown!
- * --fall right down a cookie sleeve *
* The produce is a hoot
* All I'll have for Christmas is fruit **
- Taxi!
- [wind gusting]
- Great. Not a cab in sight.
Ugh!
Don't tell me you're a little lost dog who's gonna help me
find the spirit of Christmas? - [dog barks]
- Well, bah humbug to you, too.
- [dog barks]
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- This is what Windmere Hotels and Resorts wants to buy up?
[laughs disparagingly]
They'll just be waiting to unload it.
24-hour sale.
Okay, time to sail the seven seas of success.
Converse, connect, convince, coerce,
conquer, close, cocktails.
- HILDY: Margy, I'll tell ya what.
Only thing that's working these days is my forgetter.
I went up there to water that Christmas cactus
and these were in the washbasin.
- Hello, checking in for Holly Jenkins, J-E-N-K-I-N-S.
- Jenkins, okay. Jenkins.
- Hello, there. And welcome.
My name is Hildegarde.
And this is my sister, Margalade.
- But, you can call us Hildy and Marga.
- Or, you can call us the Sisters Clüsterfunke.
- Just don't call us after 10:00 PM.
We hit the hay early around here!
- BOTH: [laughing] - Don't call us then, no!
- MARGA: I got you asleep at that hour.
- BOTH: [laughing]
- We turn into a couple of Christmas pumpkins.
- Okay, great.
Uh, Hildy, Marga, I've had a long trip
and I'd really just like to get to my room.
- Oh, well, where you comin' in from, hon?
- Ah, New York City.
- Oh! - New York.
Never been there myself. Mm-mm.
Too many lights, honking horns.
Ooh, all that hustle and bustle!
- That's a great story. Could I just my key?
- Yeah.
- Let me ask you something.
In New York City, can you see the stars
when you look up at the sky?
- Ah, not really. Not with all the lights.
- No stars?
How you gonna make a wish?
- [clock ticking]
- I don't know.
- BOTH: Oh.
- Well, you're lucky you got a room.
We get booked up this time of year
because of the Santa's Bonfire Festival.
- Yup, posters everywhere.
- Yuletown boasts the largest bonfire in all of northern Maine
so Santa can see the town when he flies over.
- [tinkling sound]
- Oh. - Okay.
Okay, let me get this key.
- Oh, boy. - It is not here.
- We always put it on seven.
- I'm surprised Christmas hasn't come and gone.
When this is a Windmere, check-in will be a breeze.
- Around the W. - Here it is right here, hon.
- Oh, now how did it get there?
- There you go, room five.
- There it is. Okay, thank you.
- Oh, can I interest you in
a piece of our famous Clüsterfunke strudel?
- Mm, the recipe has been in our family for hundreds of years.
- Oh, thank you, but I'm off sugar.
And I'm intermittent fasting.
And if I don't reach ketosis-- - MARGA: Okay.
But, like we always say--
- BOTH: Get you some strudel to sweeten up that kaboodle!
[laughing]
- Okay. Well, good night.
- It'll be here for ya in the morning.
- If you need a midnight snack-- - MARGA: If you wake up hungry--
- HILDY: She's still in earshot.
- MARGA: --fresh batch for morning.
I think she's gone.
- Okay.
- *
- Ugh.
- *
- [clattering]
- Uh--
- *
- Ugh! What the--
- *
- Are you...
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Of course this knob works.
Hello?
Definitely not a Windmere.
Okay, Jenkins. Anything for a sale.
- *
- I'm just kicking myself because I--
I bought Santa Claus stamps, but--
Well, what do we have here?
- I mean, we like to party here in Yuletown, but...
- We like to keep our clothes on.
- Usually. Well, most times,
except for that time you had a little bit of nog.
- Um, I'm locked out and, um, literally everything
in my room is broken.
- BOTH: Oh.
- One of the knobs fall off?
- HOLLY: Several knobs, plural, and the faucets, and the phone,
and the other faucets-- - HILDY: Don't you worry.
- Our nephew Frank will fix everything.
- Well, I hope so, because there's a lot to fix.
And who is this Frank character, anyway?
- [door opens]
- [swelling, romantic music]
- Something need fixing?
- I...
- Frank, Frank, you mind taking a spin up to room five?
- Sure, Aunties.
- Um, pardon me. I, um, usually have clothes on.
- Well, it looks like you're fine without 'em.
Or am I not supposed to say that in this day and age?
- A lady still likes to receive a compliment.
- Exactly. Me too!
- You look beautiful, Margy. - Thank you!
- BOTH: [laughing]
- That's not what that means.
- Frank, help Ms. Jenkins out for us, would ya?
- Oh, um, you can call me Holly.
- Did you bring your tools? - Oh, no worries there.
I always have my tools on me, ready to fix everything.
After you.
- [clears throat] Thank you.
- Thank you, dear!
Oh, I feel terrible about those knobs.
I thought tape would be just fine.
- *
- All right, so what seems to be the problem?
- Um, I'd say everything.
The place could use some renovations, wouldn't you say?
It's just a little more rundown than I'm used to.
- Well, what some folks call "rundown" others call "charm."
- Ha, well, these are basic amenities, so...
- Why just replace when
everything here works perfectly well?
Just needs a little love and attention.
- Well, you have to admit that
this room is below industry standards.
- Well, here in Yuletown, we don't pay much attention to
industry standards. - Oh, yes, that's quite clear.
- FRANK: The only standards we need are in the wind in our hair
and the sun on our face.
We'll take the crunching snow under our feet
over crunching numbers.
- Uh-huh. - [saw running]
- I guess that's a little too simple
for you big city folk to understand.
- Oh, I understand just fine. - [nail gun shooting]
- All right, there you go, Your Majesty.
I hope this lives up to your high expectations.
- I wouldn't call a working door high expectations.
Um, you can leave now.
- Well, I hope I don't see you later walking around Yuletown.
- The feeling is mutual.
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- *
- [sighs] Okay, I am going to buy this inn today.
First sea, converse.
- Ooh, hello, young lady! How did you sleep?
- Really well, actually. I'll just take a coffee, please.
- Oh, no coffee, I'm afraid.
- No coffee? - Uh, nope. Have a cocoa.
And help yourself to a breakfast strudel.
- Oh, no, no, I really shouldn't.
- It's made with fresh, all-natural ingredients.
- A dash of holiday spirit.
- A pinch of good cheer.
- And 17 pounds of lard.
- It's really all about the lard.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- Mm. Well, um, okay.
[clears throat]
Mm. Oh! Oh, this is amazing!
- Well, it's from our old family recipe.
- That's right.
Some things are just meant to stay in the family.
Speaking of traditions, you caught us prepping for
the annual Gingerbread Men Festival.
- Oh, oh, no, Marga, not Gingerbread Men.
- Oh, that's right. What did we agree on?
- Uh, it wasn't cis-ginger. - Ginger-fluid.
- Ginger people! - Ginger people.
- Ginger People Festival, that's right.
The whole town gathers to decorate gingerbread me--
people. We wouldn't miss it.
- Well, without our traditions, we would lose our will to live.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my!
Well, we really could use another pair of hands
at the festival later.
Holly, how about it?
- Sure. - Wonderful.
- Always looking for a chance to connect.
But first, coffee. - Mm-hmm.
Isn't she darling? - She really is.
She's not gonna find any coffee, though.
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- A large double shot, triple caff,
extra hot with oat foam, please.
- Oh, I think you're talking about coffee?
We only have hot cocoa here.
- What? This is the third place that I've been to.
I have a splitting headache.
- If you're looking for coffee, you're not gonna find it here.
Other things you won't find here, good theater, a piano bar,
or a decent martini.
Hi, Percy Sleigh. - Holly Jenkins.
Well, I'm from the land of caffeine, AKA New York City,
and I think I just met my new best friend.
- Great! I'd love to be your platonic confidante
while you're here in town. Come on!
- Those aren't free.
- I'm just your typical small town shopkeeper.
Grew up here, married my high school sweetheart.
- Uh, really? - Mm-hmm. Homecoming Court.
Best-dressed guy gets the high school honey.
Pretty straightforward stuff.
What about you? Got someone special?
- Well, I did.
And he was the whole package: rich, successful.
I know what you're thinking. - About the package?
- It sounds like the perfect deal.
But his heart was still in escrow.
Oh, sorry, that's business speak.
I'm an associate vice acquisitions consultant
at a major company.
And I'm here to buy the Clüsterfunke Inn.
- Ooh, scandal-ballet!
I wonder how Frank Clüsterfunke's
gonna feel about that.
- Oh, I met him at the inn last night.
I cannot stand that man.
He's arrogant and condescending.
What's with him?
- Frank's had a rough go of it.
He's been burned by women a few times before.
- We've all had our share of failed romances.
- No, I mean literally. He's a super romantic guy,
but he's had that blow up in his face a few times.
- We all have a date go badly. - No, I mean literally.
He's had several fireplace incidents.
- [flashback harps]
- PERCY: The last one was right before he popped the question to
his fiancée, Janet.
He was tending the fire while pouring wine.
And suddenly--
- [fire roaring, crackling]
- PERCY: Janet survived...
but her eyebrows never grew back.
And their love was never the same.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- [flashback harps]
- Now he's afraid to get too close to any woman--
or any matches, for that matter.
And that's not easy when you're the guy who lights the bonfire
for the town festival every year.
- Ooh, I see. - Hi there!
We're, uh, colorful representations.
My name's Jackie. This is my beautiful wife, May.
- We're here to offer a splash of sparkle and variety
in all the snowy white.
- Oh. Whoa. Yeah, I guess you are.
Can I just say, you're, like, the only other people of color
I've seen in this town.
So...okay, I see.
You're saying that when folks see "colorful representation,"
as you put it, they can rest easy knowing that this
particular town embraces everyone of all races,
ethnicities, and advertising demographics.
Well, I want you to know that you are not just
colorful representations.
You are seen, okay?
I hear you. I celebrate you. I lift you--
- MAY: Oh, oh, no, dear.
We are Colorful Representations.
- Oh.
- Yeah, it's just May and I here.
We created the store ourselves. - Okay.
- Oh, we offer vintage finds, knick-knacks, and antiques.
- Colorful Re-presentations?
- Oh, wow. I really read into that.
- We're Yuletown's best spot for recycled baubles,
treasures, and tokens.
- Well, maybe don't say that word.
- We do great business.
Plus, we check all the boxes around here.
- Okay, so you know, I'm confused again.
- We got a lot of fragile items.
- For example, this right here.
Very special. A real beaut.
- [wondrous, mysterious music]
- What's her beef with snow globes?
- I do not know.
- PERCY: Holly? Ready to go?
- Oh. Um, yup. Ready.
- Well, thank you for stopping by.
- We'll see you around town.
- Look for us at the festival. Or in a large crowd somewhere.
- [laughter]
- Speaking of crowds, coming to the Bonfire Festival?
- No, I'll have the sale locked down way before that.
I just want to get back to the city.
And I certainly don't want any more dealings
with Frank Clüster--
- FRANK: Percy! New York.
- Hi, Frank. Well, this is me.
Back to the grindstone. I'll speak to you later.
[chuckles]
- Hey, give my regards to Ann. So, New York.
What do you think of our little Christmas market?
Everything up to industry standards?
- If by industry standards,
you mean available coffee, then no, not quite.
But, I'm taking in the sights.
- While you're at it, take in a deep breath.
- Oh, my breathing is just fine.
I have plenty of meditation apps for that.
I don't-- - Apps?
Ha! There's nothing like mountain air to help you relax.
- Will you stop telling me to relax?
Some of us find being connected to the real world
more important than-- sorry, do you hear that?
- [slow, cutesy Christmassy march]
- So it's not real work unless you're stuck at a desk,
glued to a computer? - I'd rather be at a desk
than living due north of Santa's arseho--
Sorry, it's really distracting.
It's like a plugging pizzicato.
- Pizza-what? - Pizzicato.
It's like instrument plucking...
Never mind. Lord, it's relentless.
- Oh, you mean Marty's band?
- [slow, cutesy Christmassy march]
- HOLLY: Sorry, do you mind keeping it down?
We're just trying to talk here.
- Sorry, Marty.
Well, anyway, I'm headed to the Ginger People Festival.
My aunts said that you offered to help.
- Oh, so I did. - Well, come on.
Seems like you could use a little sugar.
- [plays end of tune]
- Naked cookies coming through!
[laughs] Ooh, Frank!
- Hey. - Holly, you made it!
- Wouldn't miss it.
Careful! This skirt is Gucc--
gee, what a lovely tradition you all have here.
- Hey, here you go.
- [dog barks] - Aw, hey, boy!
- Go on, get!
This dog has just been following me everywhere.
- You're all right, arentcha, boy?
Looks like you need a home.
Someone to curl up with at night.
- I assure you, my life is very full as it is.
- I was talking to the dog. I'm gonna call you...
Blitzen. - [dog barks]
- All right. Let's go, boy.
Let's get the kids set up with sprinkles.
Come on! - [Blitzen barks]
- [indistinct chatter]
- Hildy, Marga. When you're done here, I would--
- Oh, hey, Jackie, May!
- [cheerful greetings]
- Have at it, have at it.
- Um, when you're done here, I would love a moment--
- Postman Steve!
I hope that's my peppermint order.
- Every day!
- Um, I would love a moment of your time.
- Oh! - Hello, Janet!
- What a crowd.
Oh, you must be...
needing a cookie to decorate.
- MARGA: Thanks, Holly!
- Say, Marga, have you and Hildy--
- Holly, could you help us
put some faces on these ginger people?
- Uh, sure. Yeah, I guess I could.
- Ho, ho, ho, what have we here? A little sweet, a little nosh.
- Hiya, Marty! Oh, um, Holly, this is Marty.
Marty, this is Holly.
She's staying with us at the inn.
- Yeah, I think you heard your band earlier.
Unique sound.
- Oh, ho, ho, I like this girl.
- [chuckles nervously]
- Holly, Marty celebrates something called Hanukah.
- Yeah, I know what Hanukah is.
- But I still feel the spirit of the season.
Just takes eight days instead!
- [laughter]
- Yes, Yuletown is inclusive of all the faiths:
Christianity, Judaism...
and--and all those others.
- Just as long as they're Christmassy!
- That's right!
- [laughter]
- [Jewish-style "Deck the Halls" plays]
- MARTY: I'll take one of these meshuggeneh little guys.
- Sure! - Help yourself!
Marga, will you look at the smile
on that ginger person's face?
- [gasps] I'll be.
I've never seen anything like it.
Are you sure you haven't done this before?
- No, why?
- That's the best smile I've ever seen.
- That is quite a punim!
- Oh, it's really just a curved line.
- She should paint the smile on Santa's face
for the Bonfire Festival!
Let's go tell the mayor, huh?
- Ooh, well!
- That was the morning rush, I guess.
- HILDY: Oh my goodness!
- [sighs] Okay, Jenkins, time for the second sea: connect.
Ever think about slowing down?
- Oh, heavens no.
Hard work keeps the demons at bay.
- Plus, no one could run the inn like we do.
- Well, properties like yours are in high demand.
You're sitting on a goldmine.
What I'm trying to say is I'm not just here for the upcoming
Bonfire Fest, as lovely as it seems.
- Let me guess: you came to get away from the breakneck pace of
your life as an executive in the city.
- No. I am--
- Got fired? - No.
- Widowed? - No.
- Runaway bride? - No.
- You inherited a bookstore here in town?
- No.
- You're a single mom whose husband
ditched out on the family,
and now you're here to meet up with a single dad
whose wife ditched out on his family,
so you can blend both families together by Christmas?
- You came to run a Christmas children's chorus
and find your own voice in the process?
- You have amnesia, wandered into town by accident,
and won't remember your identity 'til Christmas morning?
- Your boyfriend is here for the winter,
but he's secretly a prince of a small Slavic nation.
- You're here to track down the owner of a locket you found
hidden away in a Christmas ornament.
- That's locked inside a music box.
- That's been hidden away in your attic for 40 years.
- No. - BOTH: Oh.
- Well, that only leaves one thing.
- You're being stalked by your ruggedly handsome ex-husband.
But that's pretty rare for this time of year.
- It is. - No, it's none of that.
- Well, why else would an attractive, successful,
single city girl come to Yuletown at Christmastime?
- It just doesn't make any sense.
- It's quite simple.
I work for Windmere Hotels and Resorts.
And we are very interested in buying the inn.
- Buy the inn!?
No way. No how!
Not a snowball's chance in July!
No way, Santa's sleigh.
Over my dead reindeer.
- Isn't that up to the sisters to decide?
- The sisters are my family. We're all family.
- If you sell, you will never
have to work another day in your life.
- [chuckles] You're not gettin' it, are ya, New York?
Family tradition is everything to us.
We like working.
We Clüsterfunkes like using our hands.
The answer is as plain as the candy nose
on a ginger person's face: no, N-O, no.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some Christmas cheer to spread.
- Just think about it.
You have my card and you know where to find me.
- [tinkling]
- Hi! We're here for the Ginger People Festival.
- *
- Oh, I think you misunderstood.
- [sobs]
- Oh.
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- [determined music]
- [sighs] Okay, Jenkins.
You literally wrote the book on business.
On to the third sea, convince.
- Well, good morning! Can we get you some breakfast?
Now that you're done with your business job,
you can just relax and enjoy.
Can we offer you some bacon? - Sausage?
- Philadelphia Cream Cheese and bacon omelet?
- Did we mention bacon?
- I'll just take a coffee, please.
- Oh, we only have hot cocoa, remember?
- Mm-hmm, yeah. - Holly, I have to ask.
Now, why does a nice girl like you not have a special someone?
- Oh, um, well, I--I did have someone, but we broke up.
So I'm all about my career right now.
- We understand that. We love our job too.
- Yeah, did you two ever settle down?
- Oh, no.
- We put all our heart and soul right into this inn,
so folks like you can enjoy it every Christmas.
- Oh, I'm not much for Christmas.
- Why not?
- Well, Christmas wasn't a happy time in my family growing up.
- [tinkling]
- Daddy, Daddy, look what Santa gave me.
- What is this, a handout? We don't take charity.
- You're too proud, Wayne! She's only six.
Every child deserves a Christmas.
- Six is old enough to know that miracles don't happen!
She needs to toughen up!
- [glass shatters]
- YOUNG HOLLY: My snow globe!
- ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" plays]
- Someday I'll get out of this place.
I'll be a successful lead buyer
in the hotel and resort business.
And everything will be better... ["better" echoes]
- So you see, that's why I'm not one for Christmas.
- Hm. So that's why she's such a raging bitch.
- Ah, so, if someone could just point me to the gym,
I've got some feelings to work off.
- Gym! [laughs hysterically]
- Don't tell me there's not a gym here.
- Oh, Frank! - Oh, hello.
- Holly would like to get some physical fitness.
Do we know of a nearby gymnasium?
- Gym?
If you're looking for a challenge,
you could join me at the Yuletown Wood Chopping Contest.
You'll get all the exercise you need.
- Wood chopping? No, no.
I need a real workout.
My heated cycling class combines cardio with light reps
and a rigorous core component.
- Well, let's see how high that heart rate gets
after a couple of swings on old Mary here.
- You named your axe?
- FRANK: Strongest gal I've ever known.
And she's the sharpest tool in the shed.
I'll bet she'll give your fancy fitness class
a run for its money. What do you say?
- Well, all right, Mary.
- Well, let's go.
- I think I'm gonna make a bacon smoothie.
- Thanks, everyone, for coming out!
As mayor of Yuletown, it's my job to kick off this year's
Lumberjack Contest!
- [cheers and applause]
- Get her, Frank. - Ahhh!
Thanks, Mayor.
Uh, well, we actually have a special guest with us today.
Everybody, this is Holly.
- [cheers and applause]
- All the way from New York City!
- Holly!
Huh, and you're drawing the smile on Santa, eh?
I hear you're quite the talent.
- Well, thanks. It's really just a curved line.
- Oh! - Well...
- Wait, are you Canadian? - What?
[overblown Canadian accent] No, "sore-y," Holly, no.
I--I'm super American. Uh, I grew up right here,
just up the road in this very postal code.
Take her away, Frank.
- All right!
- [cheers and applause]
- [circus-style music]
- [gasps]
- [cheers and applause]
- How aboot it, Holly?
Your turn! Have at her!
- [cheers and applause]
- [laughs giddily]
- How hard can this be?
- [grunts]
- Been there! - Shake it off.
- [gasping]
- Sorry.
- Just breathe, breathe.
- One more time.
- [gasping]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, careful, there.
We don't need a headless holiday this year.
- [laughter]
- All right, all right, this is a lot harder than it looks.
- Okay, so, it's all about the grip, all right?
So, yeah, one hand here, and then this hand here, all right?
And then you wanna draw your arms back and just lean back
against my broad chest. And...
- [cheers and applause]
- Oh. Boy, that'll make you work up a sweat.
- Yeah. Yeah, how's your heart rate now?
- Um, I...I think it's in the zone.
- Can I walk you back to the inn?
- I'd like that.
- [phone vibrates] - [horn fanfare ringtone]
- Oh! You need to take that?
- Um...no. No, I don't need to take that.
Come on, I'll race you to the cocoa stand.
- Oh, you're on.
- Oh, can't you at least wait until after the holidays?
It's the annual strudel rush.
Just give us one more week, fellas!
Oh, not even a word!
- HOLLY: Bam! Next thing I know, I made firewood.
I didn't even have to buy it at a store.
- Well, let me get you a quenching hot cocoa.
Oh, Hildy, what's this?
Where are they going with our dough machine?
- Oh, it's nothing, dear.
The machine was acting up, and so I sent it away...
for repairs.
- But how will we make the strudel rush?
- Oh, don't worry.
We'll do what Clüsterfunkes always do.
We'll funk it up the old-fashioned way.
We'll make the strudel by hand.
- [gasps] Ooh, won't that be slow?
- Oh, uh, no. It's great.
Uncle Gerhard Clüsterfunke always said,
"There's no rush on Christmas magic."
- Yes, but as Great Aunt Gertie Clüsterfunke used to say,
"Slow hands make Satan's pastries."
- Uh, this could just be the lumberjack endorphins talking,
but if you don't mind me saying,
maybe your cooking could stay old fashioned,
but the business side of things could run
a little more smoothly.
- BOTH: Huh? - HOLLY: I can't help it.
Whenever I see room for a business improvement,
I have to speak up.
You might wanna modernize a little, make your lives easier.
- BOTH: Uh...
- Oh, girls, follow me!
If you lose the fountain pens and the rotary dial phone,
you could expedite things at reception considerably.
- No pens? This old noodle
can't remember anything if I don't write it down.
- And how will we call people if we can't dial?
- Well, I could show you in a brief montage.
- [determined, 90s-style montage music]
*
- If you like it, I could make the webpage live for you.
I'm a wiz with webpages.
It could really help your strudel sales.
- Hm.
- [dialing]
- [modem sounds]
- [cell phone vibrating]
- Excuse me, I just have to take this.
- [modem sounds]
- Ah, hello?
- WINDMERE: Holly, just circling back with you.
Do you have the inn yet? We're all counting on you
and your signature Seven Sea approach.
- Well, um, actually,
I'm kind of stuck on the third sea: convince.
- What? That's no good. Can we just talk business?
- Yes, on the same page. I've got the bandwidth.
Let's move the needle. - Good, I need synergy.
Can't just put a pin in this one.
Need your buy-in. Is it scalable?
- Copy that. I'll give it 110%,
take it to the next level, lock it down.
- Great. Keep it in the paint.
A lot of moving parts. Don't drink the Kool-Aid.
And...stay in the driver's seat.
- Uh, I'm not tracking.
- Holly, you blow this, you're out of a job.
- [beep]
- But the hotel and resort industry
is all that I care about!
What? [sighs]
- [wind gusting]
- Wait. Where am I?
I--how did I...
Ah, I think I came...
Uh...okay, I think I came from that way,
and not directly behind me.
Yeah, okay.
- [owl hoots] - [gasps]
- Oh no, there goes my phone!
Stupid owl! Ugh, I hate you, nature!
Okay, okay, if I can just make it back.
Whoa! I slipped. Oh!
- [wind gusting]
- I can't get up.
Oh no.
I think I might be stuck!
Oh! Hello? Help?
Anyone, help!
- [crazy music]
- Well, I guess this might be it for me.
Oh, who am I kidding? No one would even care if
I disappeared off the face of the map.
No, no one would even miss me.
No one would even notice...I was gone...
- [flash forward harps]
- [Blitzen barks]
- Let's get you inside.
- [romantic music]
- [Blitzen barks]
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- You're gonna be just fine.
If you hadn't found her when you did,
she surely would've fallen into a hypothermic death sleep.
- Good thing I was out doing my 4:00 AM maple syrup tap
for the Christmas brunch.
- Just a little frostbite.
Nothing a good night's rest and some Christmas cheer can't fix.
- Did you just cut off my toes? - Only a couple.
Good night, now.
- Thanks, Doc. Now you get some rest, Holly.
- Thank you. Thank all of you.
- Good night, Holly. - Good night, Holly.
- Good night, dear.
- Good night.
Thank you.
Good night.
Okay, good night.
[snores]
- [whispers] Oh, we better go.
- Shh, shh, shh...
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- Oh! - Woo!
- Oh, gosh. Oh, there she is!
Good morning!
- All right, hurry up, Marg, we have strudel to make.
How are you feelin', hon?
- I'm okay, thanks to all of you.
- Well, there's a note that came in for you right there.
- [sweet Christmassy music]
- I don't know who it might be from.
[giggles]
- FRANK: Sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
Oops, sorry to mention feet.
May I take you out to dinner this evening
and show you the way Clüsterfunkes do Christmas?
Cheers! Frank.
- Well, you're just in time to taste a fresh batch of strudel.
- Ooh! - Matter of fact,
why don't you come around here and help us
with the next batch? - Oh, wonderful!
- Get in here! There's nothing like it.
- Ah! [laughs] Oh, fun, isn't it?
I don't even miss our old mixing machine.
- I don't know if I'd go that far.
- You two really love what you do, huh?
But did you ever think about retiring?
- Oh, no, dear. Clüsterfunkes love hard work.
- Like our great-great uncle Gunther Clüsterfunke used to
say, "If your knuckles aren't bleeding at the end of the day,
you're a worthless piece of dung."
- Huh, well, I love hard work too.
But I guess what I'm hearing
is you really don't wanna sell this place?
- Oh no, dear. The inn is our family tree.
In every corner there are memories.
We love hard work and family.
- I never thought about tradition like that.
Though I hope you don't mind me saying,
some traditions are okay to let go.
- Really? - Which ones?
- Well, the delicious baking should stay old fashioned.
- Yes, we said that. - We've established that.
- But have you ever thought about updating your look?
I bet underneath all those quilts and aprons,
you two have cute figures.
- BOTH: [laughing]
- We wish!
Oh, Holly, in Yuletown there are just two types of women:
fresh young hotties like you
and old homespun matrons like us!
- In this town, once you hit 30, it's all about gray buns
and broad, shelf-like bosoms.
- But you know, it doesn't have to be.
Nowadays more women can wear cute clothes
and sport chic hairdos, even seniors like you.
I mean, what are you? Like, 70?
- I'm 43. - Forty-four and a half.
- Oh. Well, in that case,
I would like to give you a little early Christmas gift.
One of my famous holly jolly makeovers.
- Oh my--
- I sense another montage coming.
- * I tasted sugar plum, it tastes so wonderful *
* Everything is magical
* With multi-colored particles *
* Red ribbons, hear the sleigh bells ringin' *
* So fantastical, my ears froze up like icicles *
* It's a beautiful feeling, a beautiful season *
* Everything feels so brand new *
* I can hear the bells ringin', the whole world is singin' *
* I love you
* I'll make the gingerbread, hang up my stockings and *
* Wait for the holly jolly, big-bellied bearded man *
* Coming down the chimney
* All his milk and cookies
* I just can't wait to see everything he's got for me *
* It's a beautiful feeling, a beautiful season *
* Everything feels so brand new *
* I can hear the bells ringin', the whole world is singin' *
* I love you
* It's a beautiful feeling, a beautiful season *
* Everything feels so brand new *
* I can hear the bells ringin', the whole world is singin' *
- [gasps] Check out my bling, Hildy!
- I can't wait to go into town and strut our stuff!
- BOTH: [laughing]
- All right, you beauties,
I'm gonna go hit my lumberjack workout.
I have a big night ahead. - Thank you, Holly.
- [dreamy Christmassy music]
- M'lady. - Why thank you, sir.
- Your carriage awaits. - A horse-drawn carriage?
- FRANK: [chuckles] - [horse neighs]
- *
- [car engine turns over] - [horse neighs]
- Your table for two.
- HOLLY: Oh, Frank, I feel like I'm in a winter wonderland.
- Well, you mean, this isn't how they do Christmas in New York?
- Hardly!
- FRANK: I hope you're hungry because I packed
quite a hamper for dinner.
- What a lavish hamper! Ooh, wow!
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- [cups clink]
- [romantic montage music]
- HOLLY: This might be the nog talking,
but I sure am feeling the Christmas spirit.
- I'm sorry I got a bit defensive when we first met.
Just, the inn has been in my family forever and...
I guess I get pretty protective
when it comes to the things that I love.
- No, I understand. I think it's nice that you care.
- Well, now that you know the inn isn't for sale,
you can just relax and enjoy the place.
- Sure! I mean, right, of course.
- What do you think of our small town way of life?
- I like it.
If only every Christmas had been like this.
- Tough childhood? - Yes.
But I don't wanna bring the mood down with historical information
about my lousy childhood.
What about you, Frank?
- Well, I--I grew up here.
Pretty typical small town boy.
My folks died when I was young.
They got caught in the middle of a violent snowball fight.
But lucky for me, the town came to my side,
and my spinster aunts raised me right.
Pretty standard stuff.
Got my friends, got my work.
- Sounds like you've built a great life for yourself.
- Yeah. Everything is pretty great.
Well...there is one thing.
Uh, it's silly.
- What? You can tell me. What is it?
- I haven't shared this with many people.
But, see, every year,
I am the one who lights Santa's bonfire.
And it is a big deal.
And this place has given me so much.
But recently this-- aah, this is humiliating.
Recently I...I haven't been able to light that match.
But the mayor's giving me one more chance.
And I--I wanna make things right for myself and for Yuletown.
So that, and...
I would also love a girlfriend.
What about you? Do you have a special someone?
- Me? Well, I guess I'm kind of dating my job these days.
But my job doesn't know how to drive a horse and carriage.
- That old thing? [laughs]
- [cheerful string music]
- [magical Christmassy music]
- Ah, look! A shooting star! Make a wish.
Bonfire. Girlfriend.
- I wish I could contain all of this Christmas wonder
and just hold it in my pocket.
- Like this?
- How did you know?
- Know what?
- Oh, nothing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up to Christmas magic.
- [Christmassy music intensifies]
- [string snaps] - Oh, dang it!
Frank, can we go? You said we'd be done at 7:00.
- Yeah, sorry. Sorry, guys.
I guess we should get going.
- [joyful Christmassy music]
- Well! Here she is.
- Chance? What are you doing here?
- What kind of welcome is that?
- Chance, I don't understand.
Why are you here? We broke up.
- I'm here to save you from this backwood boondoggle, babe.
I miss you. Besides, you hate the country.
- Well, maybe it's growing on me.
- Babe, I know you.
Stuck in some snowbound snoresville with inbred hicks,
no cell phone receptch? That ain't your bag.
- Well, I'm not here to take in the sights.
I'm here to buy the inn.
The plan is to convert it to a golf resort, conference center,
and indoor marina. - Oh Holly, you are amazing.
- FRANK: Holly, you forgot your--
- Oh! - Scarf.
- Frank, hi. I, um--
- Oh, I--I see I'm interrupting.
- HOLLY: Oh, oh, no, no.
Frank, I--well, um-- well, uh, this is--
- Chancington Winterthrope the Fifth.
- And, um, and Chance, this is Frank Clüsterfunke.
- Clüsterfunke, huh?
Oh, this must be the person you're buying the inn from.
Hiya, guy.
- Wait, Frank, no, no. Chance, we're--I--I mean, I--
- Ah, so that's what you were up to, spending time with me.
Anything for a sale, I guess. Huh, New York?
- Frank, wait!
- [doorbell rings] - [ornament breaks]
- Chance, I really wish you had told me you were coming.
- Holly, baby, didn't you get my texts?
I took a 20-hour detour just to get here.
My driver is pissed.
He's gotta sleep in the car tonight.
Just passing through on the way to the family compound.
- Of course.
Winterthrope Manor is just north of here.
- Yeah, and it might be Granny Winterthorpe's last Christmas.
She's hoping the whole family
could be together for the holiday.
And I was hoping that you might join me.
- What? This is quite the turnaround.
- Babe, hear me out. I've been thinking.
I know it's something you say I don't do very often.
And you're right. But here's the thing--
- Chancington, this is a lot to process.
I just need to get some rest.
I promised I would paint the smile for the Santa bonfire
tomorrow morning.
- Look at you!
- [laughs]
- I'll check in with you tomorrow.
I wanna stick around anyway.
My hunting app says there are still two great horned owls
left in the area. It wouldn't be Christmas
if I didn't bag one of those bad boys pronto.
- Good night, Chance.
- [sighs]
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- [phone rings]
- Hildy? Marga? Girls?
- [phone rings]
- I'll get it!
Clüsterfunke Inn. Oh, let me check, sir.
Um, well, I am afraid we are all booked up for
the Santa's Bonfire Festival.
But after that, we--we have, um, lots of availability.
Thanks for calling.
No bookings January through November?
- [sneaky music]
- 39.17 due to Nutmeg, Incorporated?
Peppermint Wholesalers, $15,340?
Wow. That's a lot of peppermint.
- [music intensifies]
- What a Christmas Clüsterfunke...
- There's the girl I'm looking for!
- Chance.
I, um--I thought you were owl hunting.
- No luck yet.
What, they got you working at ye olde country inn now, huh?
- [dings bell] - Come on, step out with me.
Show me the town, all three blocks of it.
We'll get you a cup of coffee.
- Chance, I have news for you. There's no coffee in this town.
- Well, they haven't met
Chancington Winterthrope the Fifth.
- Yeah.
- Come on, watch me work my magic.
- I'm busy. Like, really busy.
- I know you want that coffee... - Ugh, okay.
Coffee would help keep me alert for business.
And you seem to know how to get the best of everything.
- Whoa-ho, yes! Come on.
- Now if only you could learn how to keep it.
- I told you there's no coffee in this town.
- I can't believe I didn't get my way.
Such a weird feeling.
This is more carbs than I've had all year.
How are you even coping in this town?
- What do you mean?
- Holly, don't tell me you're planning on
spending Christmas here. - Well--
- This is your speed?
The girl who can run up a $10,000 tab
at Louboutin in 10 minutes flat.
And I know you can't live without your coffee.
- True. - [sighs]
- What?
- It's just... the Holly I know,
she'd make heads roll to get whatever she needed.
And here you are, settling for less.
- Chance, maybe...
settling for less is settling for more.
- That makes no sense.
- Look, I'm needed at Evergreen Square.
I'll catch up with you later, Chance.
- I'm still gonna get you that cup of coffee.
- Okay.
- [indistinct chatter]
- Ah! Hey, Miss Girl Best Friend!
- Hey. - How are you doing?
Heard you lost a couple toes.
- Did you also hear that my ex showed up last night?
And that I had an amazing date with Frank?
- So you're torn between yesterday's news
and a hunk of burnin' Clüsterfunke?
Honey, you know I'm gonna tell you
to go for that lumberjack d-- - Percy!
- [coughs] Dependibility.
- Oh. - Sorry, cocoa gives me reflux.
So, how's Operation: Buy the Inn?
- Uh, I don't even know.
I just--I feel like I've been
looking at everything the old way.
But ever since I came to this town--
- This town has a way of growin' on ya.
- Yeah.
- That's why Ann and I never left.
- Right! Ann.
Uh, Percy, it's just so easy to talk to you.
I wish all guys I dated were like you,
but guys like you are usually-- - Married, I know!
Sorry, girl. Taken.
- Oh, um...
- You know, I feel like I can talk to you too.
And...well, there's something about me
that I've not told anyone.
Not my friends, family, even--even Ann.
- Percy, you can share anything with me.
This is a safe space.
- Okay. Well, um, here it goes.
There's an important part of me
that I've never felt comfortable sharing.
- I live in New York. I've seen it all.
- I'm not living honestly. Don't get me wrong.
I'm not ashamed that I'm a "homo"--[coughs]
--organizer. Sorry. A home organizer.
- Home organizer.
- I'm very proud of my business.
But I need to live authentically.
- Yes.
- I love co--[coughs]
Coffee. [coughs]
I am a person who loves coffee.
- Coffee.
- In the middle of the night, I dream of BJs.
- Wow.
- Big Java. - Oh!
- That's what I call my coffee shop.
But, it's a small town.
- Well, Percy, Yuletown needs it.
- [chuckles] What a relief!
- Well!
- I feel like I can finally breathe!
[laughs]
- Yeah, me too.
- Holly! Come on! It's time!
- Good luck!
- Hi there. Um, hello, Frank.
- You're a day early. The festival is tomorrow.
- Well, um, actually, I'm here to help with the preparations.
- Well, there's--there's plenty to do.
- I've been having the best time at the inn.
Those aunts of yours are really something.
- Thanks.
Yeah, yeah, they are, aren't they?
- Yeah, I can see why you all love the inn so much.
- Then you can see why it has to stay in our family, then.
No matter how bad my aunts seem to be at turning a profit.
- Yes, I can. I really can. - Oh.
Well, good. [laughs]
Well, I--I--I gotta go.
I gotta put the partridges in the pear tree shooting gallery.
- Oh.
- All right, folks! Gather around!
Come on, gather around!
Holly's ready to do the honors. Give her some encouragement, eh?
- [cheers and applause]
- Okay, here we go.
- [drumroll]
- [cheers and applause]
- As mayor of Yuletown,
I declare that Santa is officially smiling!
- [uproarious cheers and applause]
- Nailed it!
- Hey, hey! There she is.
As promised, a cup of real coffee.
- Oh, Chance! Oh, gosh! What, how--
- My buddy Chet flew it in on his private plane.
- Oh, wow. Mm, it smells amazing.
But Chance, you really didn't have to do this.
I mean, the carbon footprint alone is--
- Anything for a cup of your fave, babe.
- [chuckles] Well.
- [hammering]
- [charming Christmassy music]
- Huh. What's this?
- It's fruitcake cornhole. Ever played?
- [laughs] Uh, no.
- Fruitcake cornhole's all the rage around here.
- Are you guys talking aboot fruitcake cornhole?
- Did somebody say "fruitcake cornhole"?
- Fruitcake cornhole is not a real thing.
- PERCY: Of course it is!
There's whole magazines about it.
- So, what's the deal? You throw a cake through a hole?
Sounds like a party, guy.
- FRANK: It's a lot harder than it looks...guy.
- Frank's the reigning champion.
You might not wanna challenge him.
- Yeah, I played squash at Yale. Not too worried.
- Hey, gather around, everybody!
Frank's gonna show this outsider how we cornhole fruitcake style!
- [cheers and applause]
- [cheerful Christmassy music]
- [cheers and applause]
- Okay, okay, how hard can it be, huh?
- [sinister, ominous music]
- [grunts] Nuts!
- FRANK: Exactly. A lot of nuts in this fruitcake.
Makes it unstable.
- [groaning]
- I guess I'm lucky I don't have a nut allergy, then.
- Based on that last toss, you might wanna get tested.
- [gasping, exclaiming]
- I guess you can have your fruitcake...
and eat it too.
- [applause] - Woo! Ha, ha!
- [Western movie standoff music]
- [vulture screams]
- Come on.
- [Blitzen whines]
- [cheers and applause]
- [standoff music continues]
- Oh, this is it!
- Chance needs to lands this or he'll be Christmas goose!
- [exhales]
- [rock music plays]
- Yass!
- *
- CHANCE: Aah! Aah!
What was that flash? - He missed!
- Frank Clüsterfunke is still the reigning
fruitcake cornhole champion! Yes!
- [cheering] - [Blitzen barks]
- I was blinded by the bling on those Dressbarn cougars!
- Yes! When I say fruitcake, you say cornhole.
Fruitcake! - Cornhole!
- Fruitcake! - Cornhole!
- [cheers and applause]
- Um, that was really impressive.
I don't think I'll ever look at a fruitcake
the same way again.
- Just takes practice, integrity, trust.
- Well, congrats. That was really amazing.
I promised Percy I would help him
assemble the hot cider dunk tank,
so...um, I--I hope to see you soon.
- [tender music]
- [grunts]
[growls]
- [determined montage music]
- Aah! - Hey, hey!
Whoa, what's all of this? You're becoming a lesbian?
- Chance, what? No, it's called a workout. Mm.
- Listen, babe, I'm hitting the road tomorrow.
I sure hope you'll be joining me.
We need to be at Granny Winterthorpe's by 7:00
for Sazerac slings. What do you say?
- Chance, I had a good time with you today.
Better than I've had with you in a while.
But you're moving pretty fast for me.
- Let's you and I make another go of it.
Get back together.
- Oh, you're confusing me.
Chance, I'm here on a job.
- Holly.
I get it. We can make this work.
But babe, with money, you could do whatever you want.
Buy a bunch of dumpy inns, fix 'em up.
Clüsterfunke Inn could be the first of your whole empire.
Oh, hey, King Cornhole! I'll be back in a few hours.
Want another crack at that owl. Chance out.
- Frank, I was wondering when...
I mean, I just wanted to say that I've thought about our time
in the clearing a lot. - Really?
'Cause I was all set to apologize for making
assumptions, but...now I can see that you don't care
a flying Christmas fig about me.
You just wanna buy up the inn with some guy who's not worth
the coal in a Christmas stocking!
All the while pretending to care about me
and my simple-minded aunts.
- No, Frank, that's Chancington--
- Well, let me tell you something about my aunts.
They may not be the smartest.
And they may not be so good at math.
They may be only two to three years older than me,
and they may have no business sense and order thousands and
thousands of dollars' worth of peppermint
for no obvious reason.
But they are decent and loving and...
they have more integrity in their pinky toe
than you have in your--
Oh-- - Yeah.
- I shouldn't have brought up pinky toes to you.
Anyway, shoot! - No, Frank, don't do this.
What I felt under the stars was real.
- [scoffs]
- I'm still carrying the magic with me.
We really connected!
- FRANK: The only thing you want to connect to is this
property, and none of it is for sale.
None of it. - [gasps]
- Oh! - [glass shatters]
- [screams] - I didn't mean to do that.
Sometimes I think I just care too much!
Why does love always shatter...or burn!!?
- [intense melodramatic music]
- I guess I just wasn't cut out for Christmas magic.
- So you are still after the inn.
- We thought the makeovers were because you liked us.
- [sobs hysterically]
- Oh, well, this is terrible! She's upset.
- Yes, and Frank is in--angry. Frank is angry.
- Don't do this. - Frank is so mad, though.
- Please. - Well, Frank is just livid.
- This isn't the time.
- Frank is furious, and it's just so hard...
- No. Please stop yourself.
- Frank's incensed! Frank's incensed!
- Myyyyyrrrrrrhhhh....
- [instrumental Christmassy music]
- [angelic voice] Holly!
Honey?
- Who are you?
- Who do you think I am?
- Mariah Carey?
- No. I get that a lot.
I'm Shania Gary?
Perhaps you've heard my Christmas single,
"All I'll Have for Christmas Is Fruit."
It hit number 588 on the Billboard charts
and now is heavily featured
on a number of late-night juicer commercials.
But I'm not here to talk about my career, baby.
You've summoned me. Do you know what I symbolize?
- An angel representing the spirit of Christmas?
- Yup, that's right.
Tell Shania your Christmas conundrums.
- Oh, angel, I have made a mess out of everything.
Frank won't ever speak to me again.
And I'd love to help the sisters.
They're in over the heads, but they'll never trust me either.
Gosh, I don't belong here.
I should just go back to the city.
Tell me, angel, what should I do?
- * Follow your heart
* And when you find that special someone *
* Never let him go-o-o
Does that sound right?
- But how do I know if he's the one?
- Just follow the signs, sugar plum.
- [tinkling, angelic music]
- Wow, is that meaningful snowfall?
- It sure is.
If this were a drinking game of magical Christmas movees,
people would be hammered.
I myself have been tipplin' since noon.
Cranbermarmosas. 'Tis the season!
- Thanks, Shania Gary!
- SHANIA: * Follow your heart
- [tinkling, angelic music]
- Follow my heart. Who would've guessed?
- [cell phone vibrating]
- Hello?
- I've been waiting for you to circle back.
What sea are you on? Conquer? Congeal?
- Well, there's a lien on the property.
The sisters can't stay afloat.
Hildy knows about it and Marga's in the dark.
- Calculate, confuse--perfect for us.
- But it's not perfect for them.
I don't feel right about trying
to buy the inn out from under them.
- Holly, the board wants to wake up Christmas morning and know
that the inn is ours
and the forest is gonna be a golf course.
Do not disappoint me.
- Look, Cornelius, can I level with you?
I know I'm good at business.
But there are other things in life
that I want to be good at too.
- What crap is this?
Get back to the seas of success!
- You know what, Corny?
Here's a sea that I forgot to put in the book: I quit!
- Spelled with a Q! - I know!
- [cheerful Christmas music]
- Ah, just the lady I was looking for.
- Chance, we need to talk.
- Oh, Holly, I love the way you turn a phrase.
Just so original. Ready to go to Granny's?
- What? No.
Chance, I'm not going to Winterthrope Manor.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- And I'm tired of trying to be someone that I don't wanna be.
- Are you kidding me?
You're gonna hang around East Clusterdump
and become an innkeeper? Babe, babe, that's not you.
- Well, maybe you don't know who me is, babe.
- All right.
I wasn't gonna do this here, but fine.
- What? Chance, what--no.
Wait, it's...
Oh, it's really beautiful.
Oh, no, no, this is not what I want!
- Holly, seriously?
This is a 14-karat blood diamond, babe!
What, I can buy you anything for Christmas.
- Chance, all of my life,
I've worked to buy things to make me happy.
But being in this town has made me realize
I don't care about things.
And Christmas isn't about things.
It's about a feeling.
- The only thing I'm feeling is confused.
- [snaps box shut]
- Goodbye, Chance.
Oh, and this time, I mean it.
- Can't blame a guy for trying.
- [owl hoots] - Oh, hey, it's my owl!
[sputters] - [owl hoot-laughs]
- You can't repossess this!
How are people gonna check out after the Bonfire Festival?
- They're taking Great Uncle Engelbert's desk?
That's a family heirloom!
- Not anymore, Marga. I took out a reverse mortgage
on all of Engelbert's beloved woodwork.
- You what? You can't just take this.
That's it? You're not even gonna say anything?
- They can't speak, Marga. It'll cost too much.
- Well, I burned the strudel and I'm running out of flour.
I may not make my strudel quota for the day.
- Oh, let's face it. We can't make ends meet.
We should close the inn for good after Christmas.
- Close the inn?
Are you forgetting the Clüsterfunke family creed?
- Which one? - A Clüsterfunke don't flail.
- That's not it. - A Clüsterfunke can't flop.
- HILDY: Are you serious right now?
You can't remember our family creed?
- MARGA: A Clüsterfunke don't flunk!
- A Clüsterfunke don't flunk! - Don't flunk! Thank you!
- All right, let's look at this from a different angle.
Well, we could be smarter about our finances.
We could--we could--we could cancel the paper,
or we could make our own ice.
- I could lay off the peppermint for a while.
Maybe...
Think, think.
I know, that mail order page
that Holly made on the World Wide Web.
- We'll never figure out that computer, Marga.
- [sighs] Not without Holly.
And I'm not askin'.
- HILDY: It's no use. We're no good at business.
Aah!
- [sneaky music]
- [modem sounds]
- Well, girls, it looks like
I'm gonna be a Secret Santa after all.
[sighs]
- *
- Thanks, Marty.
- [continues playing]
- You do what you can do here. I know.
- Oof! My baker's elbow.
- Looks like Santa's strudel workshop in here.
Listen, I know it's the strudel rush,
but I would love a moment of your time.
Um, well, I have some news, and I would love to share it.
I quit my job today.
- [runs food processor]
- Okay, well, um, anyways, if you'd let me,
I would love to help you with the inn.
- [runs food processor]
- We could go into business together.
Look, I know that you're in deep financial doo-doo.
- [very slow clapping]
- Spare us the speech.
We told you we don't need your help.
And we're not interested.
- [phone rings]
- You took advantage of us. And you took advantage of Frank.
- No, Hildy, I-- - Call for you from New York.
- Oh, thank you, Marga. Good day, Holly.
Hildegarde Clüsterfunke?
- Frank. - Holly.
- I--I guess this is goodbye.
- Oh, yeah, so you're leaving before the bonfire.
Can't get out of here fast enough, I guess.
Okay, well, uh...have a good trip back.
- Okay.
And Frank? - Yeah.
- I just wanted to tell you what I learned from you.
- What's that?
- I learned that fancy restaurants,
and the best seats in the theater,
and even my double shot espresso with oat foam...
they all don't matter if I don't have someone to share them with.
And that is the true meaning of Christmas.
- [loud crash]
- HILDY: Oh, dear. Frank?
- Well, I gotta get back to work.
- [tender Christmassy music]
- I came to say goodbye.
- Okay. - Jackie. May.
I'll never forget you.
- All right, if that's how you really feel.
- Well, I'm leaving.
Today. Like, right now.
Like, I'm on my way to the train station.
- Got your bag and everything.
- I'm just so sorry that our time had to be cut short.
- We get so many people coming in and out of this town,
it's just-- - Oh, Jackie!
- [music swells]
- Oh, May! - Oh!
- Okay.
- Hey, that'll be 5.99.
- Thanks.
Holly, hi!
A cedar holiday hanger for a stocking stuffer?
JK. [chuckles]
- I came to say goodbye.
- Oh no! Who won out?
Sugar daddy or sexy lumberjack?
Dish, girl.
- Uh, neither.
I am leaving here without the inn, the guy, the job,
or the Christmas magic. - Oh!
Can you at least stick around for the bonfire?
You never know. This town may be small,
but it has its way of turning things around.
- Thanks, Percy, but I don't think so.
Take care, okay?
I hope you and Ann are very, uh, happy together.
And Percy, I hope you surround yourself with people
who love you for your authentic self.
Even in a small town like this.
- Don't worry about me, Holly.
This place gave me the love of my life back in high school.
- Right. - Oh, I should introduce you!
Ann! Ann!
This is my husband, Anthony.
- Oh! An! - Anthony.
Too busy for that many syllables.
[chuckles] Did I not make that clear?
- My mistake. Bye. - Bye.
- [tense Christmassy music]
- [Blitzen barks]
- Blitzen? What are you doing here?
Did you come to say goodbye? What is it?
- [Blitzen barks]
- Arm & Hammer Pet Fresh Carpet Odor Eliminator destroys
pet odors deep down at the source? I know that.
- [Blitzen barks]
- Oh no, there's been an accident.
- [Blitzen barks]
- Okay, okay, slow down. Slow down.
One word, one syllable. - [Blitzen barks]
- Uh...a tank? - [Blitzen barks]
- Sounds like...uh, sounds like the bank.
- [Blitzen barks] - No--oh, something long.
Something you eat. Oh, hot dog? A sausage?
- [Blitzen barks] - Getting warmer.
Um, oh, oh, uh, Frank?
- [Blitzen barks]
- Oh, wait, Frank! Frank, oh no! He's hurt?
- CONDUCTOR: All aboard!
Last train out before Christmas!
- [train whistles]
- Right behind you, boy!
- [Blitzen barks]
- [indistinct chatter]
- Frank! He fell from the bonfire structure!
- He was trying to put the mistletoe
on top of the bonfire for tonight.
- Frank! - Hurly?
- Oh, Frank, it's Holly. - Holly?
- Oh, no, Frank, you're bleeding profusely.
- [sighs]
- I told him he was up too high, but he insisted.
He said it was for the children.
- I know how to fashion a tourniquet.
- [exclaiming]
- Frank, okay. - Huh?
- Uh, careful there, New York.
You don't want to ruin your expensive scarf.
- Oh, Frank, I couldn't care less about this Hermes scarf.
Some things are expensive, others are priceless.
- You came back. You came back.
- I never wanted to go.
- I'm gonna be okay.
- Everyone, he's gonna be okay!
- He's okay! Everyone, Frank is okay!
- He's okay? - I am more than okay.
You know, I've learned a lot recently.
If you'dve asked me a week ago who I am, I'dve answered easily.
I'm a man of simple pleasures,
and I'm a man who knows his wood.
- [indistinct chatter]
- I was also a man who judged a book by its cover.
But recently, I met someone who taught me that sometimes,
what you think is one thing can actually be something else.
Like how wood is also a what if word,
like would you like to buy some wood?
- CROWD: Oh!
- Two woods. Two meanings.
What I'm trying to say is a person is defined by her heart,
and I don't think heart has two spellings.
Well, even if it does, Holly,
your heart is as big as I have ever known.
And I have got this "Hair-mess" scarf
on my head wound to prove it.
[chuckles] - [laughs] Frank!
You know, I've also learned a lot recently.
I've learned that fancy restaurants,
and the best seats in the theater,
and even my double espresso with oat foam--
- You said this already. You told me this before.
- Wait, did I-- - Remember, on the stairs?
- I'm sorry. You're right.
Well, I guess we both learned a lot recently.
But I think the biggest thing that we've learned...
always pack sensible shoes-- - Some rich people are nice.
- No? - BOTH: Don't--
- --gesticulate too wildy--
- --wander off with a phone in subzero weather.
- --or you might knock over a snow globe.
- [crowd whispering]
- BOTH: Nothing says Christmas like love and family.
- [crowd awws]
- Just a moment! Just a moment, everyone.
My name is Cornelius Windmere of the Windmere Corp.
And I've just made an offer on the Clüsterfunke Inn to turn it
into 1900 acres of full-service resorts,
an indoor beach,
and a parking facility that will offer jobs
to everyone in the entire town.
So now you have something extra special to celebrate
this Christmas.
- Cool! - [indistinct chatter]
- MARGA: Wait? What? We're--we're selling the inn?
- Oh, Marga, I had no choice.
- But, no, this can't be true.
- Now, wait just a minute.
The Clüsterfunke Mail Order Strudel webpage just went live,
and the GIF is a meme and it's trending on retweets.
We've already got 27 orders for Christmas strudels
and eight more orders for President's Day strudels.
These strudel orders can float you year round.
- Holly, if we went into business together,
we'd get you as part of the bargain.
- And that is worth a fortune.
- Everyone! Everyone! I have wonderful news.
I'm gonna manage the Clüsterfunke Inn.
We'll merge my business know-how
with their old-fashioned traditions.
- It just makes sense! - It makes sense!
- As you all know, I wrote the book,
"The Seven Seas Solution to Success in Business."
- [confused chatter]
- But there's one C word that I forgot.
A C word that's been thrown at me my entire life.
And I've chosen to hold my head high and ignore it.
But I think it's time for me to take back that C word.
And that word is...Christmas.
And I'm gonna help Yuletown!
'Cause we're like a family!
A family in the form of a municipal township!
- Yup!
- Percy, we sure could use a coffee shop, and you're our man.
Yes!
And to attract even more tourists in the off season,
we're gonna feature something that a very special woodsman
taught me: the Lumberjack Workout.
Axe swinging, sawing, lifting trees.
It really worked for me.
- FRANK: That's my girl!
- Well, how about that? Darn!
I was gonna stay around and check out the world-famous
Bonfire Festival. - I could show you around.
- Deck my halls! Who's this Christmas spirit?
- Hey! Why isn't the bonfire lit?
How will Santa know where Yuletown is if
his bonfire isn't lit?
- He is right! We have to light the bonfire!
Christmas will be ruined if we don't!!!
- Christmas will never be ruined on my account.
Let's get this baby started.
- Frank, your head wound!
- [grunts] - [gasping]
- FRANK: I got a fire to light!
And this time, I'm not getting burned.
- [gasps] Oh...
- [determined music]
- We believe in you, Frank. - Come on, Frank.
- You can do it, Frank.
- [Blitzen barks]
- [music turns sad]
- Frank?
Sometimes you just need the perfect match.
- [music turns warm, uplifting]
- [fire rumbling]
- [music swells]
- [cheers and applause]
- CROWD: Awww!
- * It's a Clüsterfunke family Christmas *
* Keep your friends and your family near *
* It's a Clüsterfunke family Christmas *
* A real Clüsterfunke day of cheer *
* So a grab a slice of Clüsterfunke strudel *
* Take your sweetheart by the hand *
- Merry Christmas, Holly. - Merry Christmas, Frank.
- * Here in Clüsterfunke land *
* Take a glass of wine, you'll be really fine *
* Here in Clüsterfunke land *
- [jingle bells]
- Ho, ho, ho, ho!
* Give me all those clementines *
* I don't want those Christmas cookies *
* Keep your cheese balls, cakes, and pies *
* Fiber fills the loot
* All I'll have for Christmas is *
* Fruit
* Ooh *