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♪ Can I tell you something ♪
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♪ Just between you and me? ♪
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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♪ When I hear your voice ♪
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♪ I know I'm finally free ♪
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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♪ Every single word is perfect
as it can be ♪
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♪ And I need you
here with me... ♪
9
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,271
This is nice.
10
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,106
Mm‐hmm.
So nice.
11
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,444
‐Sam?
‐Mm‐hmm?
12
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,488
Do you have a...
13
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,657
Ew. No.
14
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,575
Then what's poking
my back?
15
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,202
It's my phone.
16
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,703
‐Relax.
‐(laughing)
17
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,163
I was like,
oh my God,
18
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,540
I hope he's not trying
to get up on this.
19
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,416
Ugh. Gross.
20
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,293
Okay, you don't have
to say it like that, homo.
21
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,920
‐It doesn't bite.
‐Hey!
22
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,088
We talked about this.
23
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,381
You can't use
that word.
24
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,507
You say it!
25
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:49,466
I'm allowed.
26
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,051
You don't gotta be mean
about it.
27
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,638
Okay, swap.
I wanna be little spoon.
28
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,142
(moans)
29
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,188
So what are you doing
this weekend?
30
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,983
For Valentine's Day?
Nothing.
31
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:07,901
You're not going out
with Gary?
32
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,653
Oh my God, no.
33
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,697
That's something
a boyfriend/girlfriend
would do.
34
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:12,990
You know
that's not my jam.
35
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:15,367
You guys have been dating
for, like, three years.
36
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,910
I think you can call him
your boyfriend,
37
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,328
everybody else does.
38
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,330
Are you trying
to start a fight?
39
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,501
What about you,
Samwich?
40
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,377
You okay?
41
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,964
You mean because this is
my first Valentine's Day
42
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,007
without Malcolm?
43
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,426
It's been
a couple months.
44
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,344
You ready to get back
on the horse?
45
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,972
There will be
no horses
46
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,100
of any kind
in my immediate future.
47
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,645
Which is why I'm so glad
to be getting out of here
48
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,022
for a few days.
49
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,482
Don't have to go to any
of those awful singles parties
50
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,693
and have people give me
those horrible looks
51
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,362
and try to set me up
with guys named Troy
52
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,697
and Devin.
53
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:58,994
I am just so not ready
for that right now.
54
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,497
Wait, what do you mean
you're getting out of here?
55
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,457
Where're you going?
56
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,126
My friends,
Kelly and Kris?
57
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,920
From high school?
Their engagement party.
58
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,547
We talked about this.
59
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,424
I must've
blocked it out.
60
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,800
My God!
61
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,011
You're going all the way home
for an engagement party?
62
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,180
Ugh. You are
a good friend.
63
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,931
Yes, I am.
64
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,017
(cell phone buzzing)
65
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,354
Speak of the devils.
66
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,439
Hi!
67
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,649
How are you?
68
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,151
How does it feel
to be "affianced"?
69
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,402
Affi‐what?
70
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,987
Affianced.
It means engaged.
71
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,156
Oh! (laughs)
72
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,033
I like that.
Af‐financed.
73
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,618
Like, give me
my money, husband.
74
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:40,619
No, I‐‐
75
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:41,870
‐Never mind.
‐It feels amazing!
76
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,622
We're so excited that
you're coming home
for our party!
77
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:44,498
Ask him about Harry.
78
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,749
I'm going to,
give me a sec.
79
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,000
‐Ask me what?
‐He's not gonna mind.
80
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,128
So listen, we have
a small favor to ask.
81
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,963
Anything for the bride
and groom.
82
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,131
‐Great.
‐Oh my God.
83
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,633
Could you...
would you mind
84
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,176
giving Harry a lift?
85
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,969
Harry? Harry who?
86
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,139
Harry... Turpin.
87
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,808
Harry Turpin.
88
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,643
Eh, you don't mean
Harry Turpin?
89
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,811
Harry Turpin
who hates me?
90
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,312
Harry Turpin
who made fun of me
91
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,980
pretty much every day
in high school?
92
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,148
Yeah.
93
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,608
You're not
seriously asking me
94
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,943
to spend nine hours
alone in a car
95
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,277
with Harry frickin' Turpin,
are you?
96
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,238
No way!
Say no, Sam.
97
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:17,572
Kinda.
98
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,366
It's just you guys
go to the same school.
99
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,826
And he was supposed to
drive out with his girlfriend,
100
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,327
but I guess they broke up
or something.
101
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,079
‐Shocking.
‐And he doesn't have a car,
102
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,248
so he won't be able
to come, unless...
103
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,750
‐I don't know, Kelly.
‐Say no.
104
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,293
You know, give it to me.
I'll tell her.
105
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,920
No. Stop it.
Stop. Stop.
106
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:32,963
We really want
him there.
107
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,756
Kris really wants
him there.
108
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,841
Please.
109
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:36,758
Hey.
110
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,843
What's that sound?
111
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:38,677
Where are you?
112
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,512
Hell, apparently.
113
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,140
Um, yes, okay.
114
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,474
I will bring Harry.
115
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,184
Oh my God!
Thank you!
116
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:49,020
Tell him to meet me outside
the Student Union 7 a. m. sharp.
117
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,022
If he is late,
I swear to God
118
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,274
‐I'm leaving without him.
‐He'll be there.
119
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:54,693
Thank you, Sam.
Thank you, thank you.
120
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,319
‐See you Saturday!
‐Mm‐hmm.
121
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,991
Wow!
122
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,201
You, my friend,
are a medical marvel.
123
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,621
It's a wonder you can
stand up at all without
a spine like that.
124
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:17,757
(Sam sighs)
125
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:22,971
(cell phone buzzes)
126
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,141
Oh!
127
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,144
‐Everything okay?
‐He's not here.
128
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,312
What an asshole.
129
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,730
See, and that's
the thing about Harry.
130
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,273
No concern
for anybody else,
131
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,941
just shows up whenever
the hell he wants to.
132
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,527
Ugh. I never should
have agreed to this.
133
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,321
No, you really
shouldn't have.
134
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,615
You could always leave.
You'd be perfectly justified.
135
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,159
Fine, I'll give him
till 7:15.
136
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,160
What are you doing?
137
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,995
7:10 in the morning,
what do you think I'm doing?
138
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,663
Oh my gosh,
did I wake you?
139
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,998
Yeah, but it's fine.
I don't mind.
140
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,583
‐I mind.
‐Shut up, Gary.
141
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,542
No one cares
what you think.
142
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:53,585
Tell him
I said hi.
143
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,420
‐Gary says hi.
‐Hi, Gary.
144
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,839
Okay, sorry I woke you guys.
Go back to bed.
145
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,174
No, no, no,
I'll stay on.
146
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,592
Now remember,
147
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,177
if he starts anything,
148
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,513
any, any name‐calling
or anything at all,
149
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,306
you just pull over
150
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,016
and tell him,
"Get the hell out."
151
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,976
‐Got it.
‐Say it.
152
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,813
‐What?
‐Practice. I wanna hear you.
153
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,523
I'm not gonna...
154
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,733
Fine.
Get the hell out.
155
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,485
You're kidding, right?
156
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,654
What the hell
kinda command is that?
157
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,323
I tell Gary
to pick up my ice cream
more forcefully than that.
158
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,783
Again.
159
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,159
(louder):
Get the hell out!
160
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,370
Again! From those
underused balls of yours!
161
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,788
(low, growly voice):
Get the hell out!
162
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,623
Again! Like the lion
that you are!
163
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,333
(shouting):
Get the hell out!
164
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,876
‐Sorry.
‐Stasia: Okay, good.
165
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,795
You're gonna be fine,
babe, okay.
166
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:37,921
Call me if you need me.
167
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,422
I will. Bye.
168
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,423
‐Stasia: Mmm.
‐(cell phone beeps)
169
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,263
(exhales heavily)
170
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:48,932
Sam: I said 7 a. m.
171
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,476
Sharp. He's not here,
that's not my fault.
172
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,856
And the good news is
173
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,400
I don't have
to spend nine hours
174
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,526
in a car with...
175
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,486
Wait, hey, hey, hey,
no, no, no, wait, wait...
176
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,154
...Harry Turpin.
177
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,656
Hey! Hey! Yo!
178
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:11,997
Thanks, man.
179
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,129
All right, I know I'm
a few minutes late, but...
180
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,463
‐Try 20.
‐...not my fault.
181
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,966
See, my roommate made
these killer tacos last night.
182
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:26,094
And this morning I had
to evacuate the building,
183
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,596
if you know
what I mean.
184
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,431
And it put me
a little behind sched.
185
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,057
But I made it.
186
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,643
We're here,
road‐trippin' home.
187
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,312
No harm,
no foul balls.
188
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,981
Although my balls may be
189
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,233
a little foul, 'cause...
190
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,319
I didn't have time
to shower, you get me?
191
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,322
I... get you.
192
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,366
Oh, would you mind making
a quick stop at The Drip?
193
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,826
I'm gonna need
some serious caffeine
194
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,536
if I'm gonna be
good company for you.
195
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,169
And then she lost her mind
196
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,047
because I forgot
our three‐month anniversary!
197
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,506
I mean, is that
even a thing?
198
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,342
Like, who remembers shit
like that?
199
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,801
I don't know,
200
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,802
thoughtful people?
201
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,137
Mmm.
202
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,306
Of course you say that,
you never forget anything.
203
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,767
Yo, remember that time
you reminded Mrs. Brown
204
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,518
we were supposed
to have a bio quiz?
205
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,479
And everyone got
so pissed at you?
206
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,939
Yeah, I remember.
207
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,484
Because I had studied
like we were supposed to,
208
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,027
and I didn't want
to get behind, you know.
209
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,780
We had those big projects
in English and Social Studies.
210
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,325
Plus, it was the first time
that you called me
"Suck‐up Sammy,"
211
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,869
so... not something
I'm likely to forget.
212
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,579
Hey, who called you
"Suck‐up Sammy"?
213
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,039
You.
214
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,415
‐Me?
‐Yeah.
215
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,125
‐No.
‐Yeah.
216
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,126
No way, man.
217
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,753
You're saying
I made that up?
218
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,921
I gave you
that nickname?
219
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:43,922
Mm‐hmm.
220
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,675
I don't think so, dude.
221
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,968
Trust me,
I remember.
222
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,221
Because after you called me
Suck‐up Sammy,
223
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,139
Davey Glick thought
it would be funnier
224
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,974
to call me
Suck‐up Samantha,
225
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,602
and that's what people
called me for the rest
of high school so...
226
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,938
I think I remember
who started it.
227
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,192
All right, I guess.
If you say so.
228
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:06,986
That's a good one.
229
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,198
You know what?
I'm pretty wiped.
230
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,741
I haven't slept in,
like, three days
231
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,618
because of studying
for mid‐term, so...
232
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,287
maybe we have
a little quiet time.
233
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,998
Yeah. Sure thing.
234
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,000
Gotcha.
235
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,296
But, I mean,
three‐month anniversaries.
236
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,382
Like, who even thinks
about things like that.
237
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,431
And then this other girl,
we go to this nude beach, right.
238
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:37,767
Lotta schlongs,
also a few schlorts.
239
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,520
Anyway, so she says
I'm looking around too much
240
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,898
and that I keep
checking other girls out
while she's around
241
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,317
and she just gets
super insecure about that...
242
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,363
So I catch her
going through my phone,
243
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,657
and I finally have
to say enough, I'm out.
244
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,992
Can you believe that, bro?
245
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:57,037
Can I believe that you drove
multiple women insane
246
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,830
to the point of
a total psychotic break?
247
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,081
Yes. Yes, I can.
248
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,249
Oh‐kay.
249
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,793
‐Ouch‐‐
‐So you just move on.
250
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,588
As soon as it gets
hard or weird,
251
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:09,466
before you start
to catch feelings,
you just bolt.
252
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,885
Okay, I‐I don't know if I'd
put it quite like that, but‐‐
253
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,596
You spent the last three hours
recounting every detail
254
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,057
of your past
five relationships,
255
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,100
and the most
amazing thing is that
256
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,769
in every single one
of them
257
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,646
you did absolutely
nothing wrong.
258
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,482
And yet,
259
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,358
they all have
the same complaints.
260
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,653
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe, uh,
261
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,155
I don't know, maybe,
262
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,115
you had something to do
with what happened.
263
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,701
You know what?
You're probably right.
264
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,995
I mean, at the very least,
I picked them all.
265
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,872
I must like the drama.
266
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,875
And it's not just the girls,
the last guy I dated
was completely nut...
267
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,002
See, that's exactly what I‐‐
Wait, what?
268
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,421
Guy? Wha...
269
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,715
What do you mean, "guy"?
270
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,637
As in not a girl.
271
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,015
I'm pan.
272
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,101
‐Pan?
‐Hmm.
273
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,063
You're... a pan?
What does that mean?
274
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,606
Pansexual.
275
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,901
I... it means that
I don't have a preference
276
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,236
‐in terms of genders or‐‐
‐No, no. No.
277
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,821
No, I, I know
what it means.
278
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,907
What do you mean
you're...
279
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,076
Well, I mean, I used
to call myself bi,
280
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,995
but somebody schooled me
that pan is way more inclusive
281
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,248
and also honestly
just more... me.
282
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,376
You know, I'm surprised
you didn't know this already.
283
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,545
My mom practically put it
in the family Christmas letter
284
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,754
the year I came out.
285
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,131
But, hey,
now that you know,
286
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,715
maybe we could hit up
some of the bars
287
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,217
in Boystown
together sometime.
288
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,177
Most of my boys are straight,
289
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,596
so I could use
a good gay wingman.
290
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,016
Dude, you okay?
291
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:44,978
Dude?
292
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,438
(horn blaring)
293
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:51,192
(both screaming)
294
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,902
Harry:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
295
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:56,364
(breathing heavily)
296
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,581
I guess something called
a tie bar broke,
297
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,124
and they have to get
a part from Hannibal,
298
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,542
so we gotta
spend the night.
299
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,671
I'm fine, Dad.
300
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,589
Don't worry.
301
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,592
Um, "How's Harry?"
302
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,219
He's different.
303
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,638
He's changed a lot
since high school.
304
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,265
Harry: I got sustenance.
305
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,683
Beer, chips,
306
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,977
and for protein,
beef jerky.
307
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,563
It was that
or cat food, so...
308
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,315
Oh, sorry.
309
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,357
Dad, I should go.
310
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:32,859
All right, I...
311
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,485
love you too.
312
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,325
‐Harry: Beer?
‐Oh, oh.
313
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,454
So you really
didn't know?
314
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,664
I really did not.
315
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,959
Thought you had me pegged
a long time ago.
316
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,753
Why would I?
317
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,632
I, I know you caught me
staring at you sometimes.
318
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,092
Well, because I thought
you hated me!
319
00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,552
Oh!
320
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,304
No. Not at all.
321
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,640
Truth is,
I admired you.
322
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,725
I'm sorry. I...
323
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,977
I don't even know how‐‐
What?
324
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,187
I mean, you were out.
325
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,189
In Liberty, Missouri.
326
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,733
Me, I was just...
327
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,776
too scared.
328
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,320
That's why I made fun of you,
you know that, right?
329
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,365
Because I thought
that if anybody
330
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,991
saw me be nice
to you, then...
331
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,328
I'd be guilty
by association, and...
332
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,789
Yeah, I was just...
333
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,999
I wasn't ready
for that.
334
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,543
But that's no excuse.
335
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,962
I never should have
treated you like that.
336
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,382
I mean it, man.
I was a dick.
337
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,385
I really am sorry.
338
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:47,976
So what's next for you?
339
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,144
After we graduate?
340
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,730
Well, I was thinking about
going to grad school, but...
341
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,109
I don't know, I think that
I need to just get out there
342
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,861
get some real world
experience, so...
343
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,739
I'll probably just get
on a local campaign.
344
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,325
Like political campaigns?
345
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,243
Mm‐hmm.
346
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,787
Is that what you've
been studying? Politics?
347
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,248
Hmm. What?
348
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,958
I'm kind of surprised.
349
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,961
I mean, you seem like
a nice guy, and‐‐
350
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,629
Nice guys don't go
into politics?
351
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,298
Kinda. Yeah.
352
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,799
Well, we need
more nice guys
353
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,134
in politics.
354
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,220
Or else we're never gonna fix
this messed‐up world we got.
355
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,597
Hmm? You're gonna fix
the messed‐up world, huh?
356
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,266
Yeah. I am.
357
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,435
Good for you.
358
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,145
I like that.
359
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,607
So what about you?
360
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:42,655
What does the future have
in store for Harry Turpin?
361
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,908
I don't know. I try not
to think about it too much.
362
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,201
Hmm.
363
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,786
That's why I need someone
like you around.
364
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,330
Someone like me?
365
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,749
You know...
366
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,792
driven,
367
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,794
a little extra.
368
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,047
(gasps)
I'm not extra!
369
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,674
Dude, you're like
the living definition of extra.
370
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,676
‐No!
‐Man, whatever you say,
371
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,970
Mr. Seven AM Sharp.
372
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,181
Okay. Okay.
Stop deflecting.
373
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,557
We're talking
about you now.
374
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:12,935
I guess...
375
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,064
the only thing I really knew
I wanted was...
376
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,273
a family.
377
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,399
To be a dad.
378
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:21,527
Uh, what about you?
379
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:23,863
You want kids?
380
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,947
I mean, to be honest,
381
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,241
I think I would be
too afraid
382
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,077
to bring a kid
into this world right now,
383
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,995
well, with, like,
climate change
384
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:34,248
and, you know, just
the general state of things.
385
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,208
I get it.
386
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,460
I think about
that stuff too, but...
387
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,130
I don't know,
sometimes you just
gotta listen to your heart
388
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,717
and trust that
everything is gonna work out.
389
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,304
Listening to your heart...
390
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,390
trusting, that's
not my strength.
391
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,894
We all got something
to learn, I guess.
392
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,190
You can trust me,
you know.
393
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,194
I can trust the man
who can't remember
394
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,570
a three month‐aversary?
395
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,199
Cubs or White Sox?
396
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,492
Or the Royals?
397
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,953
Cubs. Duh.
Always love an underdog.
398
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,331
You can't call
the Cubs an underdog
399
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,666
if they won
the World Series.
400
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,293
They ate rocks
my entire childhood.
401
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,962
They could win
the next ten World Series,
402
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,630
and I could still
call them an underdog.
403
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,841
Wha‐what was
your favorite movie?
404
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,844
Okay, but don't laugh.
405
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,095
Okay, I promise.
406
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:33,641
Up.
407
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,434
Up?
408
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,604
With the, the talking dogs
who fly the airplanes?
409
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,730
You said you
weren't gonna laugh.
410
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,858
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I just...
411
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,235
I never would have
thought that
412
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,736
that you would say...
413
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,322
It's just, it's just
the beginning of
that movie, okay,
414
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,158
where you see
the whole relationship
415
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,410
between the old man
and his wife
416
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,953
and then she dies.
417
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:55,663
It's just...
418
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,499
That's the first time
I knew what love was
419
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,419
and... the kind
of love I wanted.
420
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,046
Wow!
421
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:07,550
You're kind of
a romantic, huh?
422
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,805
I like that movie too.
423
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,103
Did you ever
424
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,564
hook up with anyone
from high school?
425
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,650
‐Guys, you mean?
‐Mm‐hmm.
426
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,445
Hell no.
427
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,447
Did you?
428
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,157
I made out
with Scotty Sharp once.
429
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,491
But that was about it.
430
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,827
He's... definitely straight.
431
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:40,249
You know who I always thought
was a little not straight.
432
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,335
‐Hmm?
‐Kris.
433
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,545
(gasps)
Kelly's Kris?
434
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,088
No, me too!
435
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,299
And now he and Kelly
are engaged. Oh!
436
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,134
You know
what's even weirder
437
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,802
than the kinda gay thing?
438
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:55,640
He and Kelly have been
best friends since,
like, sixth grade.
439
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,558
Yeah. Well, you know
what they say,
440
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,644
you're supposed to marry
your best friend, so...
441
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,855
I guess. But I don't think
that's what they meant.
442
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,815
I don't know,
I mean,
443
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,735
I guess it's fine
for straight people,
444
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,613
but a couple guys
could never do that.
445
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,114
Really?
446
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,908
‐You don't think?
‐No way.
447
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,494
Once guys are
in the friend zone,
there's no getting out.
448
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:20,248
The best you can hope for
is one night of awful sex
449
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,708
but more than likely,
you're gonna have a lousy lay
450
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,834
and ruin the friendship.
451
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,963
Seriously, there is no way
452
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,798
you don't end up worse off
than when you started.
453
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,299
How can you be
so sure?
454
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,385
I mean, l‐let's just say
455
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,346
Malcolm and I
started out as friends,
456
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,682
then, you know,
we started dating
457
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,350
and I fell in love
with him,
458
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,811
uh, but we,
459
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:44,730
we weren't having
a lot of sex, you know,
460
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,566
and then I find out
461
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,609
that he's cheating on me
462
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,444
with half
of his improv group.
463
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,905
I lost him twice,
464
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:53,990
in one night.
465
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,908
I lost my boyfriend,
466
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,119
and I lost
my best friend.
467
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:01,497
I'm sorry.
468
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,292
You deserve way better
than that.
469
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,134
I should probably go
take a shower.
470
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,427
I reek.
471
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:20,308
♪ While we're laying
by the poolside, poolside ♪
472
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,185
♪ Getting tired from the sun ♪
473
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:28,649
♪ Fading in and out of
long nights, long nights... ♪
474
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,901
(line ringing)
475
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,362
Stasia: (on phone) How is it?
You okay? Did you punch him?
476
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,947
No, it's, uh...
477
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,325
it's actually
pretty great.
478
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,659
Stasia: Really?
479
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,329
(shower running)
480
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:45,541
♪ I wanna spend
with you, you ♪
481
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,503
♪ I wanna be
with you, you ♪
482
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,633
♪ Just take in it all ♪
483
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:57,303
♪ Just take in it all ♪
484
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,474
♪ Just take in it all ♪
485
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,311
♪ Just take in it all ♪
486
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:10,024
♪ What a heavenly way to die ♪
487
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:14,195
♪ What a time to be alive ♪
488
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:18,074
♪ Because forever is
in your eyes ♪
489
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,494
♪ But forever ain't
half the time ♪
490
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,997
♪ I wanna spend
with you, you ♪
491
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,625
♪ I wanna spend
with you, you... ♪
492
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,876
Suck‐up Sammy...
493
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,129
that's funny.
494
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,159
Did you sleep okay?
495
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,995
Mm, I was
kinda lonely, but...
496
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,003
(cell phone buzzes)
497
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,093
(buzzes)
498
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,306
Is everything okay?
499
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,976
Holy shit, it's past ten.
500
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,645
We should probably,
uh, call the garage.
501
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:30,813
See if the car is ready.
502
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,440
I mean, if we want
to make it home
503
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,566
in time for the party.
504
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,115
Sam: Not much
has changed, huh?
505
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,659
Harry:
That's not true.
506
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,995
There's an Applebee's where
the Fuddruckers used to be.
507
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,455
(Sam chuckles)
508
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,123
Sam: Oh, here we are.
509
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,837
‐Hey, listen.
‐Yep.
510
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,840
I really am sorry
511
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,634
about being such
a dick during school.
512
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,220
You're pretty awesome.
513
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,891
So I was gonna
head back Monday.
514
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,143
I was thinking
about leaving early,
515
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,478
‐don't want
to hit rush hour.
‐(door opens)
516
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:16,108
‐Who's that?
‐Harry: That's Lydia.
517
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,652
Your ex. She came.
518
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,072
I guess now she's more
like my ex‐ex.
519
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,659
You're... back together.
520
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,953
Yeah, she, uh,
texted this morning.
521
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,830
Said she was sorry
522
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,499
and she wanted
to work it out
523
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,376
and that she was
already driving over
to meet me, so...
524
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,087
(squeals)
525
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:38,756
Lydia: Hi, baby.
526
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:40,466
See you back
at school?
527
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,054
(car door closes)
528
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,477
‐Lydia: I missed you...
‐Harry: I missed you too.
529
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,071
‐(club music playing)
‐(indistinct chatter)
530
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:03,906
Stasia: So I told him
it was over.
531
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,658
You broke up
with him?
532
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,244
Break‐up implies we had some
sort of commitment to break,
533
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,579
which we did not,
but yeah.
534
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,623
He was starting to get
all needy and possessive.
535
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,459
Gary... was getting
possessive?
536
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,546
He insisted on taking me
out tonight, for one thing.
537
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:21,465
I don't think wanting
to take your girlfriend
of three‐plus years
538
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,176
out on Valentine's Day
qualifies as being possessive.
539
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,803
He knew I had plans
with you.
540
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,763
What, to go to
a Singles Only party?
541
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:28,931
Stasia: Yeah, exactly.
542
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,599
(Sam sighs)
You're okay?
543
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:31,725
Totally!
544
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,227
I'm relieved,
to be honest.
545
00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:35,479
You know me. Relationships
just aren't my thing.
546
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:36,814
Except for that
you've been in one
547
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,774
almost the entire time
I've known you.
548
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:39,984
Mmm.
549
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:42,987
(club music playing)
550
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,122
(music continues)
551
00:22:58,085 --> 00:22:58,919
Bry!
552
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:00,254
Bryan!
553
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:02,214
Hey, girl!
554
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:03,799
Hey, real girl!
555
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:05,759
Hey.
556
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:09,638
Two Solo cups
for two solos.
557
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:11,056
Get it.
558
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,475
‐Cheers, queers.
‐Cheers!
559
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:16,979
Ohh!
560
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,189
Most of the hot guys
have congregated
561
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,983
to the
queer pong table.
562
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,235
That's beer pong for...
You get it.
563
00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,863
Anyway, that's where
you'll have the best luck
564
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:28,240
unless you're into
the ladies.
565
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,327
Ohh, just your basic
straight girl unfortunately.
566
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:32,995
Queer pong
it is, then.
567
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,456
Don't worry. There's plenty
of straight meat over there too.
568
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:36,999
Okay, let's go.
Come on.
569
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,292
Thanks, Bryan.
570
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,172
So apparently,
there's a million
single people in Chicago,
571
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,715
and I still can't
get a date.
572
00:23:44,715 --> 00:23:45,758
Oh, you can get
a date.
573
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,092
You're just
too scared to try.
574
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,136
I'm not scared,
I'm picky.
575
00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:50,638
Picky is just
an excuse
576
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:52,306
so you don't have
to put yourself out there.
577
00:23:52,306 --> 00:23:54,475
‐Not true.
‐Really?
578
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:56,393
Okay, then you know what?
I'm gonna pick out some guys,
579
00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:57,478
and you're going
to go talk to them.
580
00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,147
‐Fine.
‐(laughing) Oh!
581
00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:03,609
What about...
582
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,194
him?
583
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:06,904
Oh, who, Toucan Sam?
584
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,573
You know what they say
about big noses.
585
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:11,075
‐Big boogers.
‐Ugh!
586
00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:12,451
You're gross. Okay.
587
00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:15,871
Fine. What about...
588
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:17,164
him.
589
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,042
Sam: Oh,
the lost Kardashian brother?
590
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:23,462
I guarantee you
that his camera roll is
591
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,298
95 percent pictures
of himself.
592
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,634
Okay, fine, Mr. Picky.
593
00:24:29,051 --> 00:24:31,470
What about...
594
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:32,972
Overalls?
595
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:34,723
He's totally
your type.
596
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,142
Honestly, with a body
like that,
597
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,477
if he's not
good enough for you,
598
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,312
he is definitely
good enough for me.
599
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:45,943
Oh shit!
600
00:24:45,943 --> 00:24:47,695
‐Sam!
‐Can we get out of here?
601
00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:49,446
‐Harry: Sam!
‐Why? Who is that?
You want me to beat him up?
602
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,073
‐No.
‐Suck‐up Sammy!
603
00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:54,076
‐Both: Ohh!
‐Oh, too late.
604
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:56,328
What's up?
How you been, man?
605
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:59,289
Good, man!
How about you?
606
00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:01,875
Uh, you know, chillin'
like strawberry fillin'.
607
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:03,919
Li‐like in a doughnut.
608
00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:05,838
You know, tasty.
609
00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,048
I‐I'm kind of wasted.
610
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,216
I'm Harry, by the way.
611
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:10,884
Oh, I know
who you are.
612
00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:11,969
Yeah?
613
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:14,805
Well, uh,
who are you?
614
00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:17,474
This is Stasia,
my best friend.
615
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:18,517
Nice.
616
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:23,063
So, uh, what are you doing
at a Singles Only party?
617
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,356
I thought you had
a girlfriend.
618
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,567
‐Huh?
‐Your girlfriend. Lydia.
619
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:28,027
That's her name, right?
620
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,820
Thee one that you had
the big fight with,
621
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:31,155
so you had to ride
with me back home.
622
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,073
‐And then you guys made up.
‐Yeah.
623
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,658
‐So you ditched me.
‐Uh, whaa...
624
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,535
I didn't ditch you,
my girlfriend showed up.
625
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:37,494
Whatever.
626
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:39,329
I'm guessing you guys
aren't still together,
627
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,831
seeing as you
can't remember her name?
628
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,708
Nah, uh, we broke up
629
00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:44,626
before we even
got back to Chicago.
630
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,795
If you'd ever
texted me back
631
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:47,963
after our road trip,
632
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:49,131
you might have known that.
633
00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:51,050
Oh, uh...
634
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,676
Yeah, sorry,
I just, um...
635
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,138
I‐I got back to school
and got wrapped up in classes.
636
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:57,848
‐You know me.
‐So, yeah,
637
00:25:57,848 --> 00:25:59,141
um, after Lynnea...
638
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:00,976
‐Lydia.
‐Right.
639
00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:04,229
Lydia. Lynnea came after.
640
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,689
Before the first Mike.
641
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,649
Anyway, so let's just say
that I just felt like
642
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:10,319
I was playing into
the whole pan stereotype,
643
00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:11,528
‐so I‐‐
‐Which is?
644
00:26:12,613 --> 00:26:15,199
That we, you know...
get around.
645
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:18,660
"Get around." Is that, like,
a nice way of saying "slutty"?
646
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:20,329
Ah, come on.
647
00:26:20,329 --> 00:26:21,413
I'm a romantic.
648
00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:22,790
You know that.
649
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:25,876
I'm just looking for Mr...
650
00:26:26,543 --> 00:26:27,795
Mrs...
651
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:29,129
Person Right.
652
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,090
Bu‐but you know
what they say,
653
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:33,175
the definition of insanity
is doing the same thing
654
00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:34,468
over and over again
655
00:26:34,468 --> 00:26:35,886
and expecting
a different result,
656
00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:39,056
so... I decided
to pull the plug,
657
00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:40,099
go full monk.
658
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:42,976
No more dating.
Totally celibate.
659
00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,522
You... are celibate?
660
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,442
For how long?
661
00:26:51,485 --> 00:26:52,694
Okay, it's only been
a couple of days.
662
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:54,822
I'm serious
about this.
663
00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:57,783
‐What?
‐Um...
664
00:26:57,783 --> 00:26:59,326
‐What?
‐You know what?
665
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:02,246
‐Stasia?
‐Oh my God!
666
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:03,914
I'm gonna get
a refill
667
00:27:04,581 --> 00:27:05,666
or some embalming fluid.
668
00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:07,626
Because that would be
less strong. My God!
669
00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:09,461
Ugh!
670
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,343
Okay. So if you're so serious
about not dating,
671
00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:17,594
why are you at this party?
672
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,805
Oh yeah,
my friends dragged me.
673
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:20,889
Oh.
674
00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:22,933
Plus I've been painting
my new apartment,
675
00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:24,643
and I needed something
to clean the paintbrushes.
676
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:30,315
So, uh, what have you
been up to
677
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,025
since graduation?
678
00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:34,570
I'm, um...
679
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,865
working for
Nadia Custo.
680
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,326
Should I know
who that is?
681
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,412
I don't know,
did you date her?
682
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:46,081
No, she's running
for mayor.
683
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:47,875
She's a,
a real progressive,
684
00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:50,794
and it's part of my job
to make sure people like you
685
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,004
know who she is.
686
00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:54,756
So you're, like, in charge
of PR or something?
687
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:56,800
Uh... no, I just started.
688
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,677
I'm one of her
community organizers.
689
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,389
It's basically like
one step up from volunteers.
690
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,807
Hey, no need
to be embarrassed.
691
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,559
I'm folding shirts
these days.
692
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:07,853
Well, that's...
is that, um...
693
00:28:08,478 --> 00:28:10,564
Is that‐‐ Sorry, you never
actually told me your major.
694
00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:12,232
Was it retail
695
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,818
or, um... fashion?
696
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:17,195
Is that so hard
to believe?
697
00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:18,405
Kinda.
698
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:22,075
Uh, no. I, I didn't
major in fashion.
699
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:25,454
I majored in something
much more important than that.
700
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:26,663
‐Huh?
‐Marketing.
701
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:27,706
Uh...
702
00:28:29,249 --> 00:28:31,293
‐What, are you judging me...
‐Mn‐mn.
703
00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:33,295
‐...Mr. Politics.
‐Not at all.
704
00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:35,505
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
you are. I can tell.
705
00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:37,174
What do you think
politics is, anyway?
706
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:40,719
It's just marketing
the same candidate
different ways.
707
00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,638
They are not
all the same.
708
00:28:42,638 --> 00:28:45,515
Nadia Custo wants healthcare
for everybody.
709
00:28:45,515 --> 00:28:47,851
She wants more money
for public education.
710
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:49,311
She's even looking
at a plan right now
711
00:28:49,311 --> 00:28:51,104
to get cars out of
the downtown core.
712
00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:52,856
Talk about a game changer!
713
00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:54,441
‐Settle down, AOC.
‐Oh!
714
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,484
I, I believe you.
715
00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:01,365
(dance music playing)
716
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:07,245
You're seriously
not dating right now?
717
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:12,501
Okay, I should
probably go, uh...
718
00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:15,712
check on Stasia,
make sure she's not
terrorizing anyone.
719
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:17,714
Oh, uh, okay.
720
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,591
Yeah, and I'll get
some more of this
721
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,051
uh, you know,
paintbrush cleaner.
722
00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:22,970
Yeah, I'll take another one
if you're going.
723
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:25,681
Uh, okay. Uh, yeah.
Sure, I got you.
724
00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:28,016
Hurry back.
725
00:29:34,314 --> 00:29:36,233
Oh my God!
726
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:37,484
He's adorable.
727
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:39,903
How come in all the millions
of times you've told me
728
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:41,863
the story of
the road trip from hell,
729
00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:43,740
you never mentioned
how fricking hot he is.
730
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:44,992
Sam: I don't know.
731
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:46,618
You should be
all over that.
732
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,371
He's not dating now.
733
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:50,497
Oh please.
734
00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:52,749
He's basically begging you
to give him a reason
735
00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:54,292
to break his vow
of chastity.
736
00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:57,546
If I've learned one thing
from politics,
737
00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:00,048
it's that you can't
make someone vote
for your candidate
738
00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:01,675
if they're not going
to the polls at all.
739
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:04,177
You're not running
for office.
740
00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:05,804
You are trying
to get laid.
741
00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:08,056
You know me.
I don't do the,
742
00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:10,851
you know, casual
one night thing very well.
743
00:30:11,309 --> 00:30:12,561
Sure.
744
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,022
But you're never gonna get
to a second night
745
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,482
if you don't do
the first one, Samwich.
746
00:30:17,941 --> 00:30:20,736
Now get back out there
and throw yourself
747
00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:22,738
at that hot piece
of man‐ass
748
00:30:22,738 --> 00:30:24,990
before I call your mom
and tell her you quit therapy.
749
00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:26,074
(gasps)
750
00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,035
‐Fine.
‐(Stasia giggles)
751
00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:29,619
Wait.
752
00:30:33,123 --> 00:30:34,666
‐No. No‐‐
‐No, it's coming off.
753
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,126
‐It's coming off.
‐Okay, okay, okay.
754
00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:38,712
♪ I like the way you talk ♪
755
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:40,297
♪ I like the things
you wear... ♪
756
00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:41,381
Much better.
757
00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:43,800
♪ I want your number
tattooed on my arm ♪
758
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,302
♪ In ink, I swear ♪
759
00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:47,554
♪ 'Cause when
the morning comes ♪
760
00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:49,806
♪ I know you won't be there ♪
761
00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:53,477
♪ Every time I turn around
you disappear... ♪
762
00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:54,811
Hey, Frat Paddle.
763
00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:57,606
I'm recently single,
764
00:30:57,606 --> 00:30:59,399
and I'm gonna need you
to take me into some sort
765
00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:01,401
of bathroom or closet
766
00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:03,070
and just screw me
into oblivion.
767
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:06,198
No names, no wants,
no needs,
768
00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:08,867
just two animals
going at it.
769
00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:10,786
You think you
can do that for me?
770
00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:13,455
Attaboy.
771
00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:15,999
♪ I know you won't be there ♪
772
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:20,921
♪ Every time I turn around,
you disappear... ♪
773
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:21,963
Nice moves.
774
00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,131
Oh yeah?
You like that?
775
00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:24,466
Yeah, sure.
776
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:27,427
It works in a, like,
is‐there‐an‐earthquake
777
00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:29,387
or‐is‐he‐ahead‐of‐his‐time
kinda way.
778
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:31,973
Thanks, I think.
779
00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:38,688
Did you just...
780
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:40,732
Are you flirting
with that guy?
781
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:42,359
What? No.
782
00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:43,360
Yes, you were.
783
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,903
You just gave him
one of these.
784
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,321
‐I‐‐
‐I mean, I get it.
785
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:47,572
He's super hot.
786
00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:49,032
You should totally
ask him out.
787
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,492
That wasn't flirting.
788
00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:52,035
Look, I don't care.
789
00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:54,037
Just own up to it,
Mr. Celibate.
790
00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:55,330
I wasn't flirting.
791
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,541
Look, I'm not gonna
fight you on it...
792
00:31:58,542 --> 00:31:59,626
but you definitely did.
793
00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:00,794
Okay, you're acting
like a freak.
794
00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:02,504
Is there something
you wanna say?
795
00:32:02,963 --> 00:32:04,256
I'm not a freak.
796
00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:06,883
You're a freak.
You're a freak
797
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,094
who can't keep
his horse in the barn.
798
00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,096
Is that right, Grampa?
799
00:32:11,096 --> 00:32:13,765
Well, at least I'm not afraid
to ride a horse.
800
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:16,101
‐Wow!
‐Mmm.
801
00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:20,355
Well, that's better
than being the rodeo clown.
802
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:22,149
What does that even mean?
803
00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:23,358
I think you know.
804
00:32:23,358 --> 00:32:25,277
Hey, uh, I'm gonna
get out of here.
805
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:26,528
I just had sex
with this guy,
806
00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:27,988
and he's waiting
in the bathroom for round two
807
00:32:27,988 --> 00:32:29,114
and I just don't
have it in me.
808
00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:30,490
Great. I'll come with.
809
00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:31,700
Nothing keeping me here.
810
00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:33,368
Good seeing you, Harry.
811
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,037
♪ Every time I turn around ♪
812
00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:40,667
♪ You disappear ♪
813
00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,711
♪ I got love for you ♪
814
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:44,588
♪ I got love for you ♪
815
00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:45,755
♪ Nice to meet ya ♪
816
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:47,132
♪ I got love for you ♪
817
00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:52,929
Oh, come on,
you missing link.
818
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:55,515
Hey, we gotta leave soon.
You need to get ready.
819
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:58,185
What is it, black tie
or something? I'm ready.
820
00:32:58,768 --> 00:33:00,228
You might wanna
put on some pants.
821
00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,272
Hey, you're the one
in a towel.
822
00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,481
Go get ready.
823
00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:06,109
Harry, we both know you're
gonna wait until the last sec
824
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:07,903
and then rip on some pants
super fast, but then
825
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,362
you're gonna want
to check your hair
826
00:33:09,362 --> 00:33:10,530
and you're gonna
spend 20 minutes
827
00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:12,199
making it look like
you didn't check your hair.
828
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:13,408
So get off the game‐‐
829
00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:14,534
Quit riding me, Zach.
830
00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:16,203
I just wanna finish
the campaign, okay.
831
00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:17,329
First of all...
832
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,414
you wish I was
riding you.
833
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,667
Yo, I love it when you get
all dom with me.
834
00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:23,960
You need to get laid.
835
00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:25,879
Get ready. Now!
836
00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:33,261
Sorry, boys.
837
00:33:33,678 --> 00:33:34,638
Where were we?
838
00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:35,555
Zach: Harry!
839
00:33:36,139 --> 00:33:37,641
So who organized this again?
840
00:33:38,308 --> 00:33:39,434
My niece.
841
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:41,645
Oh yeah. It starts
at 8:00, right?
842
00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:42,812
We should make it.
843
00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:46,066
Sorry. It's just the campaign
is really ramping up,
844
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:47,817
what with the primaries
next month.
845
00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:50,612
You know, she asked us
not to be late, Sam.
846
00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:53,198
Uh, Usain Dolt,
can we chill?
847
00:33:53,198 --> 00:33:54,950
Eat my dingleberries.
848
00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,409
That was rude!
849
00:33:56,409 --> 00:33:58,662
No, making me late for
my girlfriend's trivia night,
850
00:33:58,662 --> 00:33:59,829
that's rude!
851
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:02,082
Dude, you really need to start
meditating or something.
852
00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:04,292
This kinda stress isn't good
for your heart.
853
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:11,549
See? Right on time.
854
00:34:13,343 --> 00:34:14,844
She really wants to make sure
we win this week,
855
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:16,137
so she's brought in
a couple ringers
856
00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:17,931
to handle all the stuff
that none of us know.
857
00:34:17,931 --> 00:34:20,183
‐Like what?
‐Art and politics.
858
00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,476
‐Uh‐huh.
‐Oh wait.
859
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:22,852
‐They're here.
‐Who?
860
00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:25,105
My uncle Paul
and his boyfriend Sam.
861
00:34:27,148 --> 00:34:29,401
Shit! Can we go?
862
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,444
‐What? Why?
‐It's just that, um...
863
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:34,030
I'm not feeling
especially trivial right now.
864
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:35,365
Oh my gosh, relax.
865
00:34:35,365 --> 00:34:36,449
Come on, Sam.
Let's do this.
866
00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:37,993
‐Hey.
‐Hey!
867
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:40,120
Good to see you.
(kisses)
868
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,579
You remember Zach,
Uncle Paul.
869
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:42,664
‐Of course I do.
‐Good to see you.
870
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:43,957
And, um,
this is Sam.
871
00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:45,458
Sam, this is
my boyfriend Zach.
872
00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:47,711
Oh, and this is Harry,
his roommate.
873
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:48,920
Hi.
874
00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:52,590
Okay, folks, we have
seven killer teams
875
00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:54,634
for tonight's
Trivia To the Death.
876
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,927
So grab your seat.
We're about to start.
877
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,054
Is that Harry,
Harry from the road trip?
878
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,265
Oh God. I didn't know.
879
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:01,641
‐I'm so sorry, babe.
‐It's okay.
880
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:06,146
Paul: So, how's my sister?
881
00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:08,189
So you're dating
Nancy Fancy Pants, huh?
882
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,567
His name is Paul,
thank you,
883
00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:11,735
and he's really great.
884
00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:15,030
I can't help it
if he's super smart
885
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:17,616
and super handsome
and a super successful
art dealer.
886
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:20,660
And so what if I am...
887
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:22,412
dating him?
888
00:35:23,163 --> 00:35:23,997
Why do you care?
889
00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:26,124
If I'd known you were
into rich old guys,
890
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,709
I would have introduced you
to my grandfather.
891
00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:29,377
That's super ageist.
892
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,421
At least I'm not
a man‐whore.
893
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:33,381
Excuse me. I've been
celibate for several...
894
00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:36,384
days this year.
895
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:39,763
So where are you working
these days?
896
00:35:39,763 --> 00:35:41,056
Still folding shirts
for a living?
897
00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:43,391
As a matter of fact,
I am not.
898
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,185
‐Really?
‐Hmm?
899
00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:46,269
What are you doing?
900
00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:49,606
I'm, I'm in
telecommunications.
901
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:51,316
‐Oh yeah?
‐Mm‐hmm.
902
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:52,734
Who you working for?
903
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:56,321
I'm selling phones
at a kiosk on the Pier.
904
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,989
Now can you be
quiet, please?
905
00:35:57,989 --> 00:35:59,115
They're starting.
906
00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:02,994
Okay, folks. Now we know
how this works, right?
907
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:05,955
This first team to ring
the bell with the right answer
gets one point.
908
00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:07,707
At the end of each round,
909
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:10,293
the team with the lowest score
gets eliminated.
910
00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:12,420
Question one:
911
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:15,131
what was the first
multi‐platform
912
00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:16,800
web browser?
913
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,134
‐(dings)
‐Mosaic.
914
00:36:18,134 --> 00:36:19,844
Emcee: Correct.
Please don't hurt yourselves.
915
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:21,471
One point, team five.
916
00:36:21,471 --> 00:36:22,639
Question two:
917
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,641
what is the biggest island
918
00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:25,767
on Earth?
919
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:27,143
‐(dings)
‐Greenland.
920
00:36:27,143 --> 00:36:28,812
‐Nice.
‐Yeah!
921
00:36:29,479 --> 00:36:30,855
Come on,
everybody knows that.
922
00:36:32,315 --> 00:36:33,983
Emcee: Question 32:
923
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:36,277
what nut can you use
to make an explosive?
924
00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:37,779
‐(bell dings)
‐Peanut.
925
00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:38,780
Emcee: Correct.
926
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:40,156
Peanut‐brained,
am I right?
927
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:42,075
Emcee: Who was the first
baseball team to win
928
00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:45,328
two World Series trophies
in the '80s?
929
00:36:45,328 --> 00:36:46,496
(bell dings)
930
00:36:46,496 --> 00:36:47,497
The Cardinals?
931
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:49,791
Afraid not.
Anybody else?
932
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,167
‐(bell dings)
‐Dodgers!
933
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:52,335
Emcee: That's what
we're talkin' about.
934
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:53,837
Damn it, Harry!
935
00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:55,296
I thought your little
mouth‐breathing friend
936
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:56,297
had sports covered.
937
00:36:56,297 --> 00:36:57,799
That kinda was
a hard one, Paul.
938
00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:03,513
Which was the first country
to use paper money?
939
00:37:03,513 --> 00:37:04,764
‐(bell dings)
‐China.
940
00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:06,266
‐Jupiter.
‐Water music.
941
00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:07,851
‐(bell dings)
‐Hakuna matata!
942
00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:09,519
‐(bell dings)
‐Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn!
943
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:11,646
‐(bell dings)
‐Jehovah's Witness.
944
00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:14,065
Ooh, sorry, team three.
945
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,651
That is wrong,
and that means you are out.
946
00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:17,944
Okay, folks, so that means
947
00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:19,988
we're down
to our last two teams.
948
00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,031
And because we've gone
way over time,
949
00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:24,033
we're gonna sudden death
this mother!
950
00:37:24,033 --> 00:37:26,244
One question for the win.
951
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:27,495
And the category is...
952
00:37:28,204 --> 00:37:30,039
Art History.
953
00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:33,418
Okay. This artist's
scandalous painting
954
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:35,795
of a woman
nearly derailed his career
955
00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:39,174
when it was exhibited
in Paris in 1884.
956
00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:43,178
‐(bell dings)
‐Toulouse Lautrec!
957
00:37:43,178 --> 00:37:44,888
Emcee: Good guess!
Afraid not!
958
00:37:44,888 --> 00:37:47,640
Team Five, you have 30 seconds
to give me the right answer
959
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,225
for the win,
or we go again.
960
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:50,602
It's Matisse. It's Matisse.
961
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:52,687
Mmm, no, it's not.
962
00:37:52,687 --> 00:37:53,646
It's Sargent.
963
00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:55,523
This is my business.
964
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:57,192
It's Matisse.
965
00:37:57,192 --> 00:37:58,526
It's a painting
he did of his wife.
966
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,862
I'm telling you,
it's John Singer Sargent.
967
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:02,864
‐Madame X.
‐Emcee: Twenty seconds.
968
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:04,407
How the hell
do you know that?
969
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:07,035
He also did a bunch
of drawings of naked dudes.
970
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:09,287
I stole a book about him
from the library
971
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:10,705
so I could
whack off to it.
972
00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:12,707
And sometimes
after I was finished,
973
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:14,793
I would, you know,
read it.
974
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,254
Okay, I say we go
with Uncle Paul.
975
00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:20,799
‐Paul: Yeah.
‐Uh, no way. Harry's right.
976
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:21,800
He whacks off a lot.
977
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,759
‐Emcee: Ten seconds.
‐Zach: I vote Harry.
978
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,470
Okay, um, Sam,
979
00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:26,638
you get
the deciding vote.
980
00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:27,972
Wh... uh!
981
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,350
Sam, are you serious
right now?
982
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,144
You really think that
this pair of shoulders
983
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,729
knows more
about art history
984
00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,688
than I do!
985
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:39,692
Come on.
986
00:38:43,279 --> 00:38:44,989
Harry! I say
we go with Harry!
987
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:46,658
John Singer Sargent!
988
00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:48,493
That is correct.
989
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:50,245
‐(all cheering)
‐Emcee: Congratulations.
990
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:51,579
Team Five's the winner.
991
00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:54,123
Ah! I...
992
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,709
Congrats, everyone.
993
00:38:56,709 --> 00:38:57,877
Sam, let's go.
994
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,091
Actually, I think
I'm gonna stay.
995
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:03,967
You know what?
996
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:05,760
You are a child!
997
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:06,886
Goodbye.
998
00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:12,517
My mother
never liked him, anyway.
999
00:39:14,310 --> 00:39:15,144
Ohh!
1000
00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:24,904
Harry:
"You are a child!"
1001
00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:27,282
‐Sam: He's not British.
‐Harry: Are you sure?
1002
00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:28,992
What's it say
on his passport?
1003
00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:30,076
Pretentious?
1004
00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:31,286
Is that
a nationality?
1005
00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:34,998
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to...
1006
00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:36,916
‐I know you liked him.
‐No,
1007
00:39:36,916 --> 00:39:38,293
not really, I just...
1008
00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:41,546
You know, you get
what you settle for.
1009
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:43,089
You know
what I mean?
1010
00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:46,551
Plus his apartment
was sick!
1011
00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:47,677
‐Harry: Was it?
‐Sam: Yeah.
1012
00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:49,387
Anyway, you guys
get a table,
1013
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:50,972
‐I'm gonna say hi to Stasia.
‐I know. Great.
1014
00:39:52,348 --> 00:39:55,059
Well, well, well,
look who the hell it is.
1015
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,311
Both: Mwah!
1016
00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:57,812
This is a surprise.
1017
00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:00,398
You haven't been here once
since you started dating Paul.
1018
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:01,357
Yeah.
1019
00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:02,525
Well, except that
one time,
1020
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:04,944
he had an allergic reaction
to the soap in the bathroom
1021
00:40:04,944 --> 00:40:06,112
and you had to leave.
1022
00:40:06,613 --> 00:40:07,697
Yeah.
1023
00:40:07,697 --> 00:40:09,365
Where is
His Royal Highness?
1024
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,367
I think...
1025
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:13,202
that we broke up.
1026
00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:14,829
For real?
1027
00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:17,206
For real.
1028
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:19,500
Oh, thank God!
1029
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:20,627
Ohh!
1030
00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:23,046
I am sorry, Samwich,
I hated him.
1031
00:40:23,046 --> 00:40:25,298
‐I know!
‐He was literally the worst.
1032
00:40:25,298 --> 00:40:27,383
Well, he was great
in bed.
1033
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:28,718
He was?
1034
00:40:29,969 --> 00:40:30,803
No.
1035
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:34,223
Hi, Nick!
1036
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:38,019
Oh my God.
He's here all the time.
1037
00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,312
That's so sweet.
1038
00:40:39,312 --> 00:40:41,189
It's not sweet.
It's stalkery.
1039
00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:43,858
It's not stalkery
when you're dating.
1040
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:45,443
We are not dating. We're...
1041
00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:47,487
hanging out.
1042
00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:48,696
Well, you've been
hanging out
1043
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:49,739
for six months.
1044
00:40:49,739 --> 00:40:50,865
You're ridiculous.
1045
00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:54,327
Oh my God,
Harry's here.
1046
00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:55,536
What is going on?
1047
00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:57,497
We ran into
each other tonight.
1048
00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:59,624
It's a long story.
The main thing is
1049
00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:01,668
that I realized
my mistake all along
1050
00:41:01,668 --> 00:41:03,920
was thinking that we could
ever be more than friends.
1051
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,297
As long as we keep it
1052
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:08,007
in the friend zone,
we're good.
1053
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:10,093
He's fun...
1054
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:13,262
and funny, and he's
actually pretty smart,
1055
00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:15,056
which for some reason,
I never knew, but...
1056
00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:18,601
he's definitely
not boyfriend material.
1057
00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:20,395
I need someone grown up.
1058
00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:22,355
You know what I mean?
And that's not Harry.
1059
00:41:23,856 --> 00:41:25,775
Okay, got it.
Harry it ain't.
1060
00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:27,777
Harry it ain't.
1061
00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:30,613
Now can you do your job
like a good little bar wench
1062
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:31,864
and fetch me
four beers.
1063
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:35,243
You're so into him.
1064
00:41:35,618 --> 00:41:36,911
I am not.
1065
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,162
Bro, what are you
talking about?
1066
00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:39,622
Dude, you're staring
at him.
1067
00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:42,166
No, I was staring
in his direction
1068
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:45,086
because I haven't seen
Stasia in a while,
1069
00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:46,337
and I wanted
to wave hello.
1070
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,382
Which is something
a Neanderthal like yourself
1071
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:51,134
would never knew is that
1072
00:41:51,134 --> 00:41:52,510
that is the
courteous thing to do.
1073
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:55,096
Yeah, well, you've,
you've always been
very courteous.
1074
00:41:55,388 --> 00:41:56,639
I am.
1075
00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:59,225
Dude, you literally farted
at the dinner table last night.
1076
00:42:00,309 --> 00:42:02,311
That was
a medical condition.
1077
00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:04,439
Yeah.
You're full of shit.
1078
00:42:04,439 --> 00:42:06,899
Just like you are now, dude.
I know you.
1079
00:42:06,899 --> 00:42:08,693
Zach, shut your gob
before I tell April
1080
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:10,319
what I saw on your computer
this morning.
1081
00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,487
What?
1082
00:42:11,487 --> 00:42:12,947
Okay, we're just friends, man.
1083
00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:15,366
Like, let it go.
For real.
1084
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:16,701
For real for real?
1085
00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:18,036
For real.
1086
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,912
First round's
on Stasia!
1087
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:22,123
To celebrate
my breakup.
1088
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:24,834
Stasia.
1089
00:42:25,126 --> 00:42:26,335
‐Thank you.
‐Mwah!
1090
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:29,005
‐See? Courteous.
‐April: Yeah.
1091
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:31,090
‐To Sam's breakup.
‐April: Hmm.
1092
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:32,842
All: To Sam's breakup.
1093
00:42:32,842 --> 00:42:34,343
♪ If we never met ♪
1094
00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:38,598
♪ I'd be drunk, waking up
in someone else's bed ♪
1095
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:41,309
♪ I'd be lost
in a crowded room... ♪
1096
00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:45,396
(indistinct conversation)
1097
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:47,148
(all laughing)
1098
00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:49,859
Aww!
1099
00:42:49,859 --> 00:42:51,027
Thanks, Harry.
1100
00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:53,654
♪ What if I never
started singing? ♪
1101
00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,782
♪ What if you never ♪
1102
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,950
♪ Told your family
you were leaving? ♪
1103
00:42:58,451 --> 00:43:00,203
♪ When you felt the pressure ♪
1104
00:43:00,661 --> 00:43:02,580
♪ There's a million
different reasons... ♪
1105
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,582
Okay, one of the daughters
1106
00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,959
of... of the Kardashians.
1107
00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:09,003
But they don't have
the same last name!
1108
00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:10,922
(all shouting)
1109
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:13,341
There's a Kardashian daughter
1110
00:43:13,341 --> 00:43:17,637
with a different...
(indistinct)
1111
00:43:20,348 --> 00:43:23,601
♪ And baby,
when I close my eyes ♪
1112
00:43:23,601 --> 00:43:24,477
♪ I'm thinkin' about ♪
1113
00:43:24,977 --> 00:43:26,104
♪ If we never met... ♪
1114
00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:28,189
...best beans
in the world.
1115
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:31,317
♪ I'd be drunk, waking up
in someone else's bed ♪
1116
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,404
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room
of fake friends ♪
1117
00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:38,032
♪ I wouldn't even know
what love is... ♪
1118
00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:40,368
(clattering)
1119
00:43:40,368 --> 00:43:42,370
Harry, stop it.
1120
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:43,955
All right,
enough pouting, let's go.
1121
00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:46,082
All right, dude,
are you serious?
1122
00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,166
Okay, no, leave it.
1123
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,292
Leave it as a tip.
Come on.
1124
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:49,293
‐Just drop it. Yep.
‐(coins clinking)
1125
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:50,545
‐Thank you.
‐Harry: Let's go.
1126
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,506
So that's why
the fat lady sings.
1127
00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:57,510
‐I don't get it.
‐It's because she's...
1128
00:43:57,969 --> 00:43:59,762
Because she's happy
about all the sex.
1129
00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:05,017
‐That's good!
‐Okay. Yeah, yeah, got it.
1130
00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:08,855
‐Oh wait, hold on.
‐Oh.
1131
00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:10,106
‐Eyelash.
‐Oh.
1132
00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:13,860
Make a wish.
1133
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:15,653
Um...
1134
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:19,490
♪ If we never met... ♪
1135
00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:22,577
I gotta pee.
1136
00:44:24,954 --> 00:44:27,331
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room
of fake friends... ♪
1137
00:44:27,331 --> 00:44:31,419
(indistinct conversations)
1138
00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:37,383
Hey, thanks for helping out
at Pride today.
1139
00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:38,467
You were great.
1140
00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:40,052
We got a lot
of voters signed up.
1141
00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:42,138
Oh yeah, you can't say no
to Sam, right?
1142
00:44:42,138 --> 00:44:43,181
(inaudible dialogue)
1143
00:44:43,181 --> 00:44:44,265
Man: Speaking of Sam,
1144
00:44:44,265 --> 00:44:45,600
are you guys
like a thing?
1145
00:44:45,975 --> 00:44:47,476
Like, a, a couple?
1146
00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:49,395
‐Me and Sam?
‐Yeah.
1147
00:44:49,395 --> 00:44:53,024
Uh... no, no,
we're just friends, but‐‐
1148
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,568
Okay, cool, would you happen
to know if he's seeing anybody?
1149
00:44:58,279 --> 00:45:01,073
Uh, if Sam
is seeing anyone?
1150
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:07,079
Uh, no. He's, he's not.
1151
00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:08,539
You know, I just wanted
to make sure
1152
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:09,582
before I ask him out.
1153
00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:12,501
Yeah, uh, I mean,
you should definitely do that.
1154
00:45:13,336 --> 00:45:15,630
But you should know
that he's...
1155
00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:18,132
he's pretty much straight.
1156
00:45:18,132 --> 00:45:19,217
Here we go!
1157
00:45:20,593 --> 00:45:22,178
(club music playing)
1158
00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:25,223
He's s‐straight?
1159
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:26,766
Really?
1160
00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:29,936
Wow, did not see
that coming.
1161
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:33,022
♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪
1162
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:37,026
♪ We can't make it
on our own ♪
1163
00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:40,655
♪ Turnin' up late
at the party ♪
1164
00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:43,241
♪ Ain't goin' home ♪
1165
00:45:44,617 --> 00:45:46,702
♪ Let me take you there ♪
1166
00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:53,626
♪ Let me take you there ♪
1167
00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:58,631
Hey, Sam, let's go have
another drink, all right.
1168
00:45:58,631 --> 00:45:59,966
I don't think I can.
1169
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:02,134
I am o‐blitch‐erated.
1170
00:46:02,134 --> 00:46:03,552
We're gonna get
another drink, all right.
1171
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:05,346
Get it, bitches! Whoo!
1172
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:08,891
♪ Oh, come on,
stay the night, yeah ♪
1173
00:46:08,891 --> 00:46:10,059
♪ Stay the night, yeah ♪
1174
00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:12,937
Hey, two, two tequila shots
and a couple beers.
1175
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,689
Shots? Harry, no!
1176
00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:19,360
Bottoms up.
1177
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,320
Tops, too!
Don't be bottomist.
1178
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,446
(crowd cheering)
1179
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:25,866
Drag Queen:
Happy Pride, Chicago!
1180
00:46:26,826 --> 00:46:28,828
How is everybody
feeling tonight?
1181
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,538
(cheering)
1182
00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:32,623
Drag Queen:
Can you feel the love?
1183
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:35,293
'Cause that's what it's
all about, right? Love.
1184
00:46:35,293 --> 00:46:37,795
Everybody wants it.
Everybody needs it.
1185
00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:40,256
So why aren't we
giving it away?
1186
00:46:40,256 --> 00:46:41,632
‐Whoo!
‐(crowd cheering)
1187
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:42,591
Drag Queen:
What are you waiting for?
1188
00:46:42,591 --> 00:46:44,302
Find you some love tonight.
1189
00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:46,470
Or at least get you
some ass.
1190
00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:48,514
(club music resumes)
1191
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:54,437
What?
1192
00:46:57,231 --> 00:46:59,400
S‐so did you mean
that thing you said?
1193
00:46:59,775 --> 00:47:02,945
About how when guys
become friends,
1194
00:47:02,945 --> 00:47:04,572
they can never be
anything more than that?
1195
00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:07,575
One billion percent.
1196
00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:09,702
You either end up
having bad sex
1197
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:11,954
or ruining
the friendship, or both.
1198
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:13,456
And there's
no exceptions?
1199
00:47:13,456 --> 00:47:15,291
Like, ever?
1200
00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:18,210
None. Zero.
1201
00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:20,755
No even for...
1202
00:47:22,298 --> 00:47:23,466
you and me?
1203
00:47:25,468 --> 00:47:27,178
Not even you and me.
1204
00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:32,058
Like I'm going to date the guy
who bails on relationship
1205
00:47:32,058 --> 00:47:34,643
faster than my parents' dog
eats cat poop.
1206
00:47:37,813 --> 00:47:40,566
Oh my God,
I love this song!
1207
00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:43,861
‐Whoo!
‐(cheering)
1208
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:46,655
♪ I want you ♪
1209
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:50,076
♪ Baby, be mine ♪
1210
00:47:50,076 --> 00:47:51,369
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
1211
00:47:51,911 --> 00:47:53,037
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
1212
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:54,538
♪ Wanna make you mine, boy ♪
1213
00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:58,918
♪ Tell me now
what can I do... ♪
1214
00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:00,753
I'm gonna go find
my friends!
1215
00:48:01,295 --> 00:48:02,421
Happy Pride!
1216
00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:07,676
♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪
1217
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:11,806
♪ What can I do
to make you my lover? ♪
1218
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:14,475
♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪
1219
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,025
Damn, Stasia ,
1220
00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:24,985
leave it to you to find
the only straight guy ...
1221
00:48:44,380 --> 00:48:47,174
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss, kiss, kiss, ♪
1222
00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:48,092
♪ Kiss my lips ♪
1223
00:48:52,847 --> 00:48:55,099
(doorbell rings)
1224
00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:58,811
(footsteps thumping)
1225
00:48:58,811 --> 00:49:01,564
Casey:
Um, when did you become
the world's laziest roommate?
1226
00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:03,858
Don't worry. I'll get it.
1227
00:49:04,275 --> 00:49:05,818
Oh. Harry's here.
1228
00:49:06,652 --> 00:49:07,528
(door opens)
1229
00:49:07,528 --> 00:49:09,572
‐Hi, Harry.
‐Harry: Hey.
1230
00:49:09,572 --> 00:49:10,865
‐Casey: How're you doing?
‐Harry: What's up?
1231
00:49:12,074 --> 00:49:13,200
(door closes)
1232
00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:16,287
Hey, Samwich!
1233
00:49:23,878 --> 00:49:24,753
What?
1234
00:49:25,671 --> 00:49:28,007
You never call me that.
That's Stasia's name for me.
1235
00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:30,718
‐Oh, is it?
‐Hmm.
1236
00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:33,512
Heh. I guess it is.
1237
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:37,308
Those donuts?
1238
00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:48,027
(video game sounds)
1239
00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:55,493
Is Harry here?
1240
00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:58,871
I thought he was
up there. With you.
1241
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,167
Huh.
1242
00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:05,586
Whatcha playin'?
1243
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:07,004
Zach: Crackdown 3.
1244
00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:08,297
Oh, I love
that game!
1245
00:50:10,132 --> 00:50:11,175
Let's get it, girl!
1246
00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:17,306
Harry: So listen,
1247
00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:19,141
can I tell you
something ?
1248
00:50:19,642 --> 00:50:20,726
Oh yeah?
What's that?
1249
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:22,645
It's, it's nothing bad.
1250
00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:24,480
Oh, I didn't think
it was...
1251
00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:28,275
Good. I just,
whenever anyone says,
1252
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:30,694
"We need to talk,"
it's usually
something bad, so...
1253
00:50:30,694 --> 00:50:32,321
Oh, well, you didn't.
1254
00:50:32,321 --> 00:50:33,322
What?
1255
00:50:33,322 --> 00:50:34,907
You didn't say,
"We need to talk."
1256
00:50:34,907 --> 00:50:36,367
You said, "I have
to tell you something."
1257
00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:39,703
Oh, I, I...
(chuckles)
1258
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:41,705
‐Yes, I did.
‐(chuckles)
1259
00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:46,377
So?
1260
00:50:48,671 --> 00:50:51,882
So, uh,
Stasia and I...
1261
00:50:52,633 --> 00:50:54,843
kinda made out
last night.
1262
00:50:54,843 --> 00:50:56,136
Oh wow!
1263
00:50:56,136 --> 00:50:57,388
That's... Ooh.
1264
00:50:57,388 --> 00:51:00,057
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
At, uh, Pride.
1265
00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:01,642
‐Hmm.
‐I hope that's okay.
1266
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:03,143
Yeah, why wouldn't it be?
1267
00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:05,104
Right.
1268
00:51:05,688 --> 00:51:07,648
I mean, I,
I told Stasia that,
1269
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,858
but she kinda got
in my head a little bit.
1270
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:12,570
So I, uh, snuck out as soon
as I woke up this morning.
1271
00:51:15,364 --> 00:51:16,782
You snuck out
of where?
1272
00:51:19,285 --> 00:51:20,661
My bedroom?
1273
00:51:22,788 --> 00:51:23,789
Zach: So...
1274
00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:26,375
you and Harry have
a good time last night?
1275
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,295
As a matter of fact,
we did. Why?
1276
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:30,921
No reason.
1277
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,841
Just, uh... I'm glad
it was a fun time
1278
00:51:33,841 --> 00:51:36,135
if you're both gonna ruin
your relationships with Sam.
1279
00:51:37,469 --> 00:51:39,638
We didn't.
Sam's not gonna care.
1280
00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:41,599
I mean, Sam's not
into Harry that way.
1281
00:51:41,599 --> 00:51:44,435
He said so.
Like... multiple times.
1282
00:51:44,810 --> 00:51:45,894
Okay.
1283
00:51:47,104 --> 00:51:48,147
What?
1284
00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:50,858
You think
he's gonna be weird?
1285
00:51:53,986 --> 00:51:56,614
Stasia... spent the night?
1286
00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:58,365
Uh... yeah.
1287
00:51:58,365 --> 00:51:59,700
‐And you guys...
‐Uh‐huh.
1288
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:02,745
Cool.
1289
00:52:05,331 --> 00:52:08,584
What, you couldn't find any
other randos to hook up with?
1290
00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:09,960
So you had to start poaching
from the home team?
1291
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,295
Wha... hey,
no, no, no. I...
1292
00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:14,798
It wasn't like
another one‐night stand
or anything like that.
1293
00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:16,800
No, we didn't just smash
and dash, you know.
1294
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,261
We didn't just
sleep together, Zach. Okay.
1295
00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:21,764
We actually like
each other, all right.
1296
00:52:21,764 --> 00:52:23,849
That's... great!
1297
00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:25,893
Yeah, she's really funny
1298
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:27,436
an‐an‐and fun.
1299
00:52:27,436 --> 00:52:29,021
He's actually
really smart.
1300
00:52:29,647 --> 00:52:31,649
‐Really smart?
‐You know, and he's not
all clingy‐‐
1301
00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:33,651
An‐and she's so,
you know...
1302
00:52:34,193 --> 00:52:35,361
her own person.
1303
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:36,987
Like you.
1304
00:52:38,405 --> 00:52:40,157
I woke up this morning,
and he wasn't even there.
1305
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,367
And you liked that?
1306
00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:45,496
‐Maybe you two are perfect
for each other.
‐Right?
1307
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:48,123
I mean, how crazy
would it be.
1308
00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:50,626
If your two best friends
1309
00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:52,753
became, like, a couple.
1310
00:52:55,255 --> 00:52:56,507
A couple.
1311
00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:57,966
That would be crazy.
1312
00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:04,598
Well, I, I should probably
get back to Stasia.
1313
00:53:04,598 --> 00:53:05,891
She's gonna wonder
where I am.
1314
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,686
Maybe I should take those.
1315
00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:11,230
I could tell her
I went to get donuts.
1316
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:15,109
Yeah.
1317
00:53:15,401 --> 00:53:16,318
Yeah.
1318
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:23,992
I love you, man.
1319
00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:26,245
I love you too.
1320
00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:38,716
(door opens)
1321
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:40,926
(door closes)
1322
00:53:46,265 --> 00:53:47,349
Who wants mimosas?
1323
00:53:47,349 --> 00:53:48,392
All: Me!
1324
00:53:51,437 --> 00:53:52,896
I heard you got
a new job?
1325
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:55,023
Yes! Finally!
No more bartending!
1326
00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:01,488
So what is it?
1327
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,534
Oh, uh, I'm working
for Windy City Beat,
1328
00:54:05,534 --> 00:54:07,244
doing all their, like,
alt events and stuff.
1329
00:54:07,661 --> 00:54:08,871
Oh great.
1330
00:54:08,871 --> 00:54:10,330
Yeah, they wanted someone
to curate a bunch
1331
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:12,541
of cool, non‐touristy stuff
every week, so...
1332
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:14,710
Sam:
Sounds perfect for you.
1333
00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:15,836
It is!
1334
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:19,339
And what about you? You still
working down at the Pier?
1335
00:54:19,339 --> 00:54:21,800
Uh, no.
God, no, um...
1336
00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:25,804
Actually, Stasia got me a job
bar‐backing at G and O.
1337
00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:29,391
Wow, nice.
1338
00:54:30,517 --> 00:54:32,644
Yeah, but then
she up and left me, so...
1339
00:54:32,644 --> 00:54:33,812
I up and left him.
1340
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:36,398
Aw, so sad.
1341
00:54:36,398 --> 00:54:38,692
Uh, waitress!
Uh, we're gonna need
a lot more alcohol,
1342
00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:40,319
like, right now.
1343
00:54:40,778 --> 00:54:42,446
‐Thanks.
‐Oh my God, Zach.
1344
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:43,864
‐Ha ha ha!
‐So stupid.
1345
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:58,212
And I knew
he was lying.
1346
00:54:58,837 --> 00:55:02,382
Who would have
improv rehearsal
after midnight?
1347
00:55:03,383 --> 00:55:06,136
A lying liar,
that's who.
1348
00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:08,972
But Malcolm,
he would never admit
1349
00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:10,474
that anything
was going on.
1350
00:55:10,766 --> 00:55:11,850
No, no, no.
1351
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:13,310
Not me, he said.
1352
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,855
I would never sleep
with Doug or Eddie.
1353
00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:17,856
Stasia: Sam.
1354
00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:20,025
Why are you talking
about this?
1355
00:55:20,025 --> 00:55:21,527
This happened
a long time ago.
1356
00:55:23,195 --> 00:55:24,488
And then...
1357
00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:27,157
I came home early
one day
1358
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,450
and I caught him
1359
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,203
in the shower
with Doug.
1360
00:55:31,203 --> 00:55:32,579
And Eddie.
1361
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:34,039
There he was.
1362
00:55:34,331 --> 00:55:35,541
Malcolm in the Middle.
1363
00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:38,293
You know what I mean?
1364
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:41,547
But it's okay.
1365
00:55:42,214 --> 00:55:44,466
Just... you gotta move on.
1366
00:55:45,634 --> 00:55:46,635
Like Harry.
1367
00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:49,513
Harry moves on
all the time.
1368
00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:50,973
That's what he does.
1369
00:55:52,307 --> 00:55:53,559
Whenever things get...
1370
00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:57,145
hairy.
(laughs)
1371
00:55:57,145 --> 00:55:58,355
Get it?
1372
00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,358
As soon as things
get hard,
1373
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:02,693
Harry just
1374
00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,152
cuts and runs,
you know.
1375
00:56:04,152 --> 00:56:06,863
That's just
the thing about Harry.
1376
00:56:07,906 --> 00:56:09,241
Cut and run.
1377
00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:10,409
Just for fun.
1378
00:56:10,409 --> 00:56:12,119
‐Harry's my name.
‐Stasia: Sam.
1379
00:56:12,119 --> 00:56:13,370
That's my game.
1380
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,371
Sam.
1381
00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:16,456
(whispering):
But when he does that,
1382
00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:18,375
I'll be here.
1383
00:56:18,959 --> 00:56:19,876
For you.
1384
00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:21,628
Stasia.
1385
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:24,298
Anastasia.
1386
00:56:25,757 --> 00:56:27,676
Anaphylaxis.
1387
00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:31,138
See, now that's
a good drag name,
1388
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,306
Ana Phylaxis.
1389
00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:34,725
One bite
and she'll kill you.
1390
00:56:37,311 --> 00:56:40,856
Oh see. Look,
she's in anaphylaxis shock!
1391
00:56:44,151 --> 00:56:45,444
You're an asshole.
1392
00:56:46,862 --> 00:56:48,030
Oh!
1393
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:50,907
Thanks, man.
1394
00:57:31,948 --> 00:57:34,409
Am I to surmise from the fact
that you're sitting here
in the dark
1395
00:57:34,409 --> 00:57:36,745
that brunch did not go quite
as you might have liked.
1396
00:57:37,329 --> 00:57:39,915
There have been funerals
for children
1397
00:57:39,915 --> 00:57:41,708
‐that aren't as awful
as that brunch was.
‐Casey: Oh!
1398
00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:44,294
Oh my God,
I'm sorry.
1399
00:57:45,045 --> 00:57:46,963
Well, at least you did it.
1400
00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:49,549
Good for you.
1401
00:57:49,966 --> 00:57:51,093
Good for me.
1402
00:57:54,346 --> 00:57:56,223
Hey, have you
heard of, um,
1403
00:57:56,223 --> 00:57:58,642
of that new
gay dating app?
1404
00:57:59,101 --> 00:58:01,103
Buff or Gruff or...
1405
00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:03,230
No.
1406
00:58:03,689 --> 00:58:04,981
Why, are you
leaving Eddie?
1407
00:58:05,607 --> 00:58:06,858
Looking to spice
things up?
1408
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:08,902
(chuckles)
No, dumbass. For you.
1409
00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:11,321
I'm not signing up
for some‐‐
1410
00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:13,198
Look, it doesn't have
to be that,
1411
00:58:13,198 --> 00:58:16,034
but I did not
March on Washington
1412
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,704
and Act‐up and Fight AIDS
for all of those years
1413
00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:21,081
so that you
could waste your life,
1414
00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:23,417
locked in that
malodorous bedroom,
1415
00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:25,961
furiously masturbating
to what can only be described
1416
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:28,755
as moderately shameful
amateur pornography.
1417
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:30,966
And listen,
if you want some privacy,
1418
00:58:30,966 --> 00:58:32,467
you need to invest
in headphones.
1419
00:58:33,301 --> 00:58:35,554
But I'm worried
about your health.
1420
00:58:35,887 --> 00:58:38,140
I mean, my God,
your poor bologna pony
1421
00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:39,266
must need a break.
1422
00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:40,225
Is it, is it bruised?
1423
00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:42,018
‐Or chafed?
‐Okay.
1424
00:58:42,018 --> 00:58:43,437
Does it need
arnica ointment‐‐
1425
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:47,524
Okay, I will do...
something.
1426
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:49,526
Just please stop talking
about my penis.
1427
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:50,777
(chuckling)
Fine.
1428
00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:55,866
You deserve someone
to love, you know.
1429
00:58:58,535 --> 00:58:59,745
And someone
to love you.
1430
00:59:01,621 --> 00:59:03,373
And seriously,
if you need arnica,
1431
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:04,708
I have some
right upstairs.
1432
00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:05,876
Go!
1433
00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:07,586
All right.
1434
00:59:09,129 --> 00:59:10,172
But do the dating app.
1435
00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:11,631
One date.
1436
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:13,550
Or else I'm raising
your rent.
1437
00:59:22,476 --> 00:59:23,935
Sam:
Let's meet at Em's.
1438
00:59:24,311 --> 00:59:26,229
I'll be in the fourth booth
from the door,
1439
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:27,773
wearing a green polo.
1440
00:59:27,773 --> 00:59:28,899
A blue polo.
1441
00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,150
A lime polo.
1442
00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:31,485
A burnt orange polo.
1443
00:59:32,194 --> 00:59:34,738
We can check each other out
and have a drink.
1444
00:59:34,738 --> 00:59:36,865
And if we both agree
that the first drink
goes well, well,
1445
00:59:37,365 --> 00:59:38,617
we can take it from there.
1446
00:59:38,617 --> 00:59:39,534
Hey.
1447
00:59:41,328 --> 00:59:42,537
Oh!
1448
00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:45,791
Sorry, I, uh,
I think I'm having
1449
00:59:45,791 --> 00:59:46,917
an allergic reaction
1450
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:49,169
to... something.
1451
00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:53,173
Listen, may be better
we just call it a night.
1452
00:59:58,053 --> 01:00:00,055
So, now I'm on my third race
for alderman.
1453
01:00:00,055 --> 01:00:02,349
I mostly do
volunteer coordination,
1454
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:03,767
get out the vote,
stuff like that.
1455
01:00:03,767 --> 01:00:05,018
I work
in politics too!
1456
01:00:05,477 --> 01:00:07,562
‐No way.
‐Well, I used to.
1457
01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:09,898
Now I just help run
the Obamas' local foundation.
1458
01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:13,276
You wanna get
outta here?
1459
01:00:15,111 --> 01:00:18,365
(both moaning)
1460
01:00:18,365 --> 01:00:20,659
♪ I've been thinking
'bout you ♪
1461
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:25,914
♪ Wondering who's stuck
in your head at night... ♪
1462
01:00:26,706 --> 01:00:27,874
Man:
And I'm a Cubs guy.
1463
01:00:27,874 --> 01:00:29,459
I mean, you gotta pull
for the underdogs, right?
1464
01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:31,002
That's what I always say.
1465
01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:34,464
Uh, ow.
1466
01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:35,966
Sorry, you, uh...
1467
01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:37,217
you had something
in your hair.
1468
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,636
‐Oh, thanks.
‐You were saying.
1469
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:40,679
Oh yeah.
1470
01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:42,514
I like you.
1471
01:00:42,514 --> 01:00:43,640
A lot.
1472
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,141
I don't like
to take things too fast
1473
01:00:45,141 --> 01:00:47,811
‐before we talk
about monogamy.
‐Yeah, no worries.
1474
01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:49,729
‐It's just really not my thing.
‐Once we get serious,
I'm super faithful.
1475
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:53,567
Oh!
1476
01:00:54,818 --> 01:00:57,320
♪ Early in the morning ♪
1477
01:00:58,780 --> 01:01:01,032
♪ Think about you
all day... ♪
1478
01:01:03,952 --> 01:01:04,911
Nice to meet you.
1479
01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:06,454
It's nice
to meet you too.
1480
01:01:07,247 --> 01:01:09,541
I've been on a few
messy ones of these,
1481
01:01:09,541 --> 01:01:12,127
so it's nice to meet
someone cool.
1482
01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:14,838
You are really handsome.
1483
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:17,299
Wow, thanks.
1484
01:01:18,300 --> 01:01:19,217
Back at ya.
1485
01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:22,220
I'm sorry. I don't think
I ever got your name?
1486
01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:23,847
I'm Sam.
1487
01:01:24,306 --> 01:01:25,181
How about you?
1488
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:26,474
I'm Harry.
1489
01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:28,101
I gotta go.
1490
01:01:31,479 --> 01:01:32,439
(sighs)
1491
01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:36,192
(beeps)
1492
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:46,620
You're home?
1493
01:01:46,995 --> 01:01:47,954
How was it?
1494
01:01:49,122 --> 01:01:51,041
‐Not for me.
‐Why not?
1495
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:52,876
Just wasn't.
1496
01:01:54,461 --> 01:01:57,130
You keep finding problems
with everyone.
1497
01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:59,132
They can't all be
the wrong guy.
1498
01:01:59,758 --> 01:02:01,468
What was he?
Stinky? Wiggy?
1499
01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:03,094
Non‐monogamy‐y?
1500
01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:04,095
No.
1501
01:02:05,764 --> 01:02:06,681
Harry.
1502
01:02:07,182 --> 01:02:09,100
Like, super hairy?
1503
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:10,602
‐Uhh...
‐Like, fuzzy all over?
1504
01:02:10,977 --> 01:02:12,604
You know, I used to date
this total sasquatch.
1505
01:02:12,604 --> 01:02:15,023
Loved it.
Never needed a blanket.
1506
01:02:15,023 --> 01:02:17,275
No. He was great.
1507
01:02:17,692 --> 01:02:20,362
Smart, funny, handsome.
1508
01:02:20,862 --> 01:02:22,614
Moderately hirsute.
1509
01:02:22,614 --> 01:02:23,865
So?
1510
01:02:24,783 --> 01:02:27,035
His name was Harry.
1511
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:28,370
Oh.
1512
01:02:29,204 --> 01:02:30,580
He wasn't your Harry, huh?
1513
01:02:32,874 --> 01:02:33,959
Oh baby.
1514
01:02:37,253 --> 01:02:38,463
(sniffles)
1515
01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:50,642
Sam:
Obviously, it's January.
1516
01:02:50,642 --> 01:02:52,394
It's too cold
for canvassing.
1517
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:53,853
But we've got
training events
1518
01:02:53,853 --> 01:02:55,355
every weekend
from now until March,
1519
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,357
when we should be able
to start hitting the streets.
1520
01:02:57,357 --> 01:02:59,150
So, uh,
we're in a good place.
1521
01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:00,652
Uh, I'll get you
the final volunteer numbers.
1522
01:03:00,652 --> 01:03:01,695
Thanks, guys.
1523
01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:11,246
Hi.
1524
01:03:12,664 --> 01:03:15,375
(people chattering)
1525
01:03:19,421 --> 01:03:20,755
So I'm getting married.
1526
01:03:22,841 --> 01:03:23,925
You...
1527
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:25,719
You're, uh...
1528
01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:28,930
Oh my God!
Congratulations!
1529
01:03:32,350 --> 01:03:33,435
Stasia: Look...
1530
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:36,896
I know we haven't been
exactly close the last year.
1531
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:40,191
God, what's it been,
like a year and a half?
1532
01:03:40,191 --> 01:03:41,192
Well, yeah.
1533
01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:43,028
You know what?
It doesn't matter. Anyway, um...
1534
01:03:44,446 --> 01:03:45,655
the thing is...
1535
01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:47,991
I don't really like
a lot of people...
1536
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:50,493
except you...
1537
01:03:51,745 --> 01:03:53,371
well, and my fiancé,
I guess.
1538
01:03:53,371 --> 01:03:54,831
(chuckles)
1539
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:55,832
And, um...
1540
01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:58,585
I just can't imagine
getting married
1541
01:03:58,585 --> 01:03:59,669
without you there.
1542
01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:03,757
I mean, you've been
my best friend since
the first day of college,
1543
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:04,924
and I just...
1544
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:09,137
Is there any chance
you'd be my Man of Honor?
1545
01:04:11,514 --> 01:04:12,640
"Man of Honor"?
1546
01:04:14,309 --> 01:04:15,310
Uh...
1547
01:04:16,269 --> 01:04:17,604
Is that even a thing?
1548
01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:20,398
It is if I say it is.
1549
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:25,862
Is Harry cool with it?
1550
01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:28,490
I mean...
1551
01:04:28,490 --> 01:04:30,533
I assume so, but...
1552
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:32,243
Well, don't you think
you should ask him?
1553
01:04:34,079 --> 01:04:36,122
Why would...
why would I do that?
1554
01:04:37,248 --> 01:04:38,458
Because he's the groom?
1555
01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:42,003
Oh no.
1556
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:43,880
No, no, no, I'm not...
1557
01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:45,799
No, I'm not...
I'm not marrying Harry.
1558
01:04:45,799 --> 01:04:46,758
I'm marrying Zach.
1559
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,011
You... you're...
1560
01:04:51,012 --> 01:04:52,097
Zach?
1561
01:04:52,597 --> 01:04:53,973
Stasia:
You didn't know?
1562
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:56,643
No! No! No!
1563
01:04:56,643 --> 01:04:58,686
(stammering)
I mean, I stopped
following you guys
1564
01:04:58,686 --> 01:05:00,146
on social media,
and then I...
1565
01:05:00,980 --> 01:05:03,108
I kinda wondered why
you never got back to me
1566
01:05:03,108 --> 01:05:05,235
when I texted you
after Harry and me broke up.
1567
01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,445
You didn't say that
it was about that.
1568
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,864
And then, and then,
you know, I was a little...
1569
01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:13,868
embarrassed about the way
that I acted at brunch, but‐‐
1570
01:05:13,868 --> 01:05:15,787
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
1571
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:17,330
And when I didn't hear
from you.
1572
01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:18,957
I, I figured you didn't
wanna hear from me,
1573
01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,041
‐so...
‐I‐‐
1574
01:05:20,041 --> 01:05:22,043
Oh my God!
I am sorry too.
1575
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:24,212
But then this happened,
1576
01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:26,631
and I figured
somebody had to make
the first move. So...
1577
01:05:30,301 --> 01:05:33,054
The only reason Harry and I
lasted as long as we did
1578
01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,722
is because
we both felt so...
1579
01:05:35,431 --> 01:05:38,143
shitty about what
we did to you
1580
01:05:38,143 --> 01:05:39,310
that we kind of...
1581
01:05:40,812 --> 01:05:42,689
had to make it work,
you know.
1582
01:05:43,815 --> 01:05:45,692
Well, that and we did really
want to prove you wrong
1583
01:05:45,692 --> 01:05:48,153
after all that nasty stuff
you said at brunch, but
1584
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:51,030
mostly, we felt like...
1585
01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,742
if we ruined our friendships
with you...
1586
01:05:55,743 --> 01:05:57,036
it had to be love.
1587
01:05:58,079 --> 01:06:00,415
Only... it wasn't.
1588
01:06:03,835 --> 01:06:05,837
And I finally realized
1589
01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:08,631
that every time I was going
over to their apartment,
1590
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:11,342
the person I was hoping
would open the door was...
1591
01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:14,888
Zach.
1592
01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:18,349
And I tried to fight it.
I mean, I really did.
1593
01:06:18,349 --> 01:06:20,643
Zach is so straight
and average.
1594
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:22,478
You know how
I feel about that.
1595
01:06:26,191 --> 01:06:27,358
I don't know.
1596
01:06:28,193 --> 01:06:29,194
I just...
1597
01:06:31,196 --> 01:06:33,198
I just love him so much.
1598
01:06:33,823 --> 01:06:38,077
And the gravitational
pull of that is
1599
01:06:38,077 --> 01:06:40,663
so much greater
than any ideas
1600
01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:42,874
I had about myself
or my life.
1601
01:06:45,043 --> 01:06:46,252
So...
1602
01:06:48,504 --> 01:06:49,547
what do you think?
1603
01:06:54,469 --> 01:06:55,720
Will Harry be there?
1604
01:06:56,346 --> 01:06:58,598
Oh no. No, he's, like,
really mad at us.
1605
01:07:00,808 --> 01:07:02,101
Yes.
1606
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:03,645
Yeah, I would be honored.
1607
01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:04,938
‐When is it?
‐Oh!
1608
01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:08,816
Valentine's Day.
1609
01:07:08,816 --> 01:07:10,902
‐Ugh. Isn't that gross?
‐Oh ho ho!
1610
01:07:10,902 --> 01:07:13,613
But Zach's parents got married
on Valentine's Day,
1611
01:07:13,613 --> 01:07:15,031
and it was important
to him, so...
1612
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:16,991
But don't worry, okay.
1613
01:07:16,991 --> 01:07:18,534
We're not doing
a rehearsal dinner
1614
01:07:18,534 --> 01:07:19,869
or bachelorette party
1615
01:07:19,869 --> 01:07:21,246
or shower
or anything like that.
1616
01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:23,248
‐(elevator bell dings)
‐Just a simple party
1617
01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:24,582
that night.
1618
01:07:40,431 --> 01:07:41,516
Wow!
1619
01:07:41,516 --> 01:07:42,976
‐(Stasia giggles)
‐You look amazing.
1620
01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:44,310
You like?
1621
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:46,771
A twist on the traditional.
Like me!
1622
01:07:46,771 --> 01:07:48,273
‐(laughs)
‐I love it.
1623
01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,569
I'm so happy
you're here.
1624
01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:05,498
You said
he wasn't coming.
1625
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,001
I lied.
1626
01:08:21,973 --> 01:08:23,975
(people chattering)
1627
01:08:30,023 --> 01:08:31,691
Sorry to ambush you.
1628
01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:33,151
I, uh...
1629
01:08:33,151 --> 01:08:34,777
asked Stasia
to embellish a little
1630
01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:36,863
'cause I didn't think
you'd come
1631
01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:38,364
if you knew
I was gonna be here.
1632
01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:41,367
It's good to see you.
1633
01:08:42,827 --> 01:08:43,661
I've missed you.
1634
01:08:46,581 --> 01:08:48,958
Can you believe that
Stasia is getting married
1635
01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:50,376
on Valentine's Day?
1636
01:08:51,836 --> 01:08:53,713
She likes to think
that she's so edgy,
1637
01:08:53,713 --> 01:08:55,006
but let's face it,
1638
01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:56,716
she basic.
1639
01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:57,633
Yeah.
1640
01:08:59,761 --> 01:09:00,928
It's, um...
1641
01:09:02,013 --> 01:09:03,806
big of you to be here,
1642
01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:05,391
after everything
that happened.
1643
01:09:06,851 --> 01:09:08,519
Uh, not really.
1644
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:12,190
I mean, I was never
in love with Stasia.
1645
01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:15,360
I love her. I just...
1646
01:09:16,402 --> 01:09:18,363
Mostly I'm just glad
she's happy.
1647
01:09:20,865 --> 01:09:22,283
So how come
you never called me
1648
01:09:23,117 --> 01:09:24,535
if you missed me
so much?
1649
01:09:24,911 --> 01:09:27,705
I mean, it's not like
I blocked your number
or anything.
1650
01:09:28,664 --> 01:09:30,375
I guess I figured
you wouldn't wanna
talk to me.
1651
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,795
Or that I didn't deserve
to see you again.
1652
01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:37,006
I mean, you made it
pretty clear
1653
01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:38,257
how badly I hurt you.
1654
01:09:42,303 --> 01:09:45,264
Well, uh, I should
probably get a drink.
1655
01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,184
It's good to see you.
1656
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:53,898
The only reason
anything happened with Stasia
1657
01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:55,024
was 'cause...
1658
01:09:56,401 --> 01:09:57,694
'cause I was trying
to get over you.
1659
01:10:00,947 --> 01:10:02,407
Why would you need
to do that?
1660
01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:09,163
Ever since, uh,
that trip home...
1661
01:10:10,498 --> 01:10:12,959
ever since
we became friends...
1662
01:10:15,336 --> 01:10:17,213
I guess I kinda wanted
something more.
1663
01:10:19,257 --> 01:10:20,675
And then at Pride...
1664
01:10:21,467 --> 01:10:22,468
remember that?
1665
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:27,098
I was just trying
to work up the nerve
to tell you
1666
01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:28,891
that I was in love
with you,
1667
01:10:29,267 --> 01:10:32,895
but you made it
really, really clear
1668
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:34,480
that nothing was
ever gonna happen.
1669
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,065
Because you
never said anything!
1670
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:37,316
I know.
1671
01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:39,235
And then I ruined
everything.
1672
01:10:42,488 --> 01:10:43,906
The worst part is that
1673
01:10:44,741 --> 01:10:46,993
you were my favorite person
in the world...
1674
01:10:48,703 --> 01:10:51,122
and in one night,
I lost you twice.
1675
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:52,707
I, um...
1676
01:10:54,709 --> 01:10:55,835
I, um...
1677
01:10:56,669 --> 01:10:57,587
was?
1678
01:10:58,254 --> 01:10:59,380
Past tense?
1679
01:11:00,465 --> 01:11:02,675
You said that I was
your favorite person.
1680
01:11:05,136 --> 01:11:06,512
No, stupid.
1681
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:08,806
You are.
1682
01:11:09,682 --> 01:11:10,850
Always will be.
1683
01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:15,021
You are the smartest,
funniest,
1684
01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:18,232
strangest person
I have ever met,
1685
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,485
and I love everything
about you.
1686
01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:24,238
I love that you need
to control everything...
1687
01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:29,202
and that you don't trust
a cashier to give you
the right change.
1688
01:11:29,202 --> 01:11:30,328
Well...
1689
01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:33,080
I love that you
never forget anything
1690
01:11:34,207 --> 01:11:36,626
and that you need to explain
half of your jokes to me.
1691
01:11:37,919 --> 01:11:40,338
And I even love
how crazy I make you,
1692
01:11:41,005 --> 01:11:43,132
'cause I know that means
I matter to you.
1693
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:45,176
And...
1694
01:11:46,928 --> 01:11:49,972
mattering to you is
kinda all I ever wanted.
1695
01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:57,355
♪ If the world was ending ♪
1696
01:11:58,189 --> 01:11:59,816
♪ You'd come over right ♪
1697
01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:01,484
♪ You'd come over
you'd come over ♪
1698
01:12:01,484 --> 01:12:02,860
♪ You'd come over right ♪
1699
01:12:07,198 --> 01:12:10,368
♪ If the world was ending
you'd come over right ♪
1700
01:12:11,202 --> 01:12:12,537
Zach:
Anastasia Hooper,
1701
01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:14,831
you're the most beautiful...
1702
01:12:15,873 --> 01:12:16,874
authentic...
1703
01:12:17,542 --> 01:12:19,043
thrilling woman
I've ever met,
1704
01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:21,504
and I can't believe
I get to spend
1705
01:12:21,504 --> 01:12:22,672
the rest of my life
with you.
1706
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:25,258
You surprise me.
1707
01:12:26,008 --> 01:12:27,134
You challenge me...
1708
01:12:27,677 --> 01:12:28,678
a lot.
1709
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,806
You make me want to be
a better version of myself.
1710
01:12:32,598 --> 01:12:34,600
I can only hope to do half
as much for you.
1711
01:12:36,561 --> 01:12:38,396
I feel like the luckiest person
in the world right now,
1712
01:12:38,396 --> 01:12:40,022
and I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life
1713
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:41,524
making sure you feel
that way too.
1714
01:12:49,448 --> 01:12:52,451
♪ Never was an early riser ♪
1715
01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:56,038
♪ Used to be
an up all‐nighter ♪
1716
01:12:56,497 --> 01:12:59,125
♪ Never saw
the mornin' light ♪
1717
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:02,336
♪ Quite like I do now ♪
1718
01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:06,299
♪ Never said no to a party ♪
1719
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:09,343
♪ Never started savin' money ♪
1720
01:13:10,261 --> 01:13:13,139
♪ But everything
is different ♪
1721
01:13:13,139 --> 01:13:16,309
♪ Since you've been around ♪
1722
01:13:16,684 --> 01:13:19,770
♪ It's the way
you're smilin' at me ♪
1723
01:13:20,396 --> 01:13:23,566
♪ It's in the way
you hold my hand ♪
1724
01:13:23,566 --> 01:13:26,736
♪ It's the way
I've watched you change me ♪
1725
01:13:27,194 --> 01:13:30,364
♪ From a boy into a man ♪
1726
01:13:30,364 --> 01:13:33,618
♪ It's a million things
about you ♪
1727
01:13:33,618 --> 01:13:37,038
♪ And I don't know
what it is ♪
1728
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:41,459
♪ But I have never known
a love like this... ♪
1729
01:13:41,459 --> 01:13:42,960
Can I take you
home now?
1730
01:13:44,879 --> 01:13:45,880
Yes.
1731
01:13:47,715 --> 01:13:50,635
♪ Never used
to get excited ♪
1732
01:13:51,802 --> 01:13:53,638
♪ To sit here in the silence ♪
1733
01:13:54,931 --> 01:13:57,683
♪ Holdin' on to somethin' ♪
1734
01:13:57,683 --> 01:14:00,561
♪ The way I'm holdin' you ♪
1735
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:05,149
♪ Didn't used to know
how fast time ♪
1736
01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:08,361
♪ Walks and runs
and flies by ♪
1737
01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:11,697
♪ I never thought
I'd feel so deeply ♪
1738
01:14:11,697 --> 01:14:14,283
♪ But damn, I do ♪
1739
01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:18,037
♪ It's the way
you're smilin' at me ♪
1740
01:14:18,746 --> 01:14:21,707
♪ It's in the way
you hold my hand ♪
1741
01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:25,002
♪ It's the way
I've watched you change me ♪
1742
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:28,005
♪ From a boy into a man ♪
1743
01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:31,550
♪ It's a million things
about you ♪
1744
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:34,929
♪ And I don't know
what it is ♪
1745
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:40,476
♪ But I have never known
a love like this ♪
1746
01:14:42,645 --> 01:14:47,316
♪ I have never known
a love like this ♪
1747
01:15:17,013 --> 01:15:20,433
I guess Suck‐up Sammy wasn't
such a bad nickname after all.
1748
01:15:21,225 --> 01:15:22,476
Stop!
1749
01:15:30,276 --> 01:15:31,694
Don't do that.
Don't...
1750
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:34,071
look at me like that.
1751
01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:35,823
Don't make me right.
1752
01:15:36,699 --> 01:15:37,616
Right?
1753
01:15:38,659 --> 01:15:39,952
About what?
1754
01:15:40,870 --> 01:15:42,371
About this! About...
1755
01:15:43,998 --> 01:15:46,083
how we shouldn't
have done this.
1756
01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:47,001
Hey, no, no.
1757
01:15:48,002 --> 01:15:49,670
Last night was perfect.
1758
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:52,840
It was everything that
I thought it would be
1759
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:54,341
and, like...
1760
01:15:54,341 --> 01:15:55,843
a thousand times better.
1761
01:15:58,471 --> 01:16:00,598
Then why do you have
that look on your face?
1762
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:05,561
I finally got a job.
1763
01:16:06,812 --> 01:16:09,815
Like... a real job.
1764
01:16:10,691 --> 01:16:11,859
Awesome, but?
1765
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:14,528
But...
1766
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:19,033
it's in LA,
and I leave next week.
1767
01:16:23,162 --> 01:16:24,288
Are you kidding?
1768
01:16:24,288 --> 01:16:25,581
It's one of the biggest
1769
01:16:25,581 --> 01:16:27,249
sports marketing companies
in the world.
1770
01:16:27,249 --> 01:16:30,336
‐How could I say no?
‐This is so like you, Harry.
1771
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:33,506
Even getting your dream job
sounds like
1772
01:16:33,506 --> 01:16:35,216
something just happened
to you.
1773
01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,638
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it. I, I...
1774
01:16:41,472 --> 01:16:42,598
How could you...
1775
01:16:43,974 --> 01:16:45,142
How could you...
1776
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:49,063
let us... do that...
1777
01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:52,858
knowing you were just
gonna leave?
1778
01:16:52,858 --> 01:16:54,819
‐Why didn't you tell me?
‐I needed to know.
1779
01:16:55,111 --> 01:16:57,071
And, and I am telling you.
1780
01:16:57,071 --> 01:16:58,197
I‐I'm telling you now!
1781
01:16:59,031 --> 01:17:00,908
This doesn't mean
we can't be together.
1782
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:02,076
You know what? I, uh...
1783
01:17:03,077 --> 01:17:04,537
(exhales sharply)
1784
01:17:04,537 --> 01:17:06,163
I got‐gotta go.
1785
01:17:06,163 --> 01:17:07,081
Come on, Sam.
1786
01:17:07,081 --> 01:17:08,958
We got the whole weekend,
1787
01:17:08,958 --> 01:17:10,459
an‐and LA's not that far.
1788
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:13,254
I mean, there's these
new‐fangled things
called airplanes.
1789
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:14,630
(laughs)
1790
01:17:15,089 --> 01:17:17,466
Wha‐wha‐what?
You don't trust me
to do long‐distance?
1791
01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:19,969
How can I trust you
to do long‐distance
1792
01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:22,304
when I can't even trust you
to tell me the whole truth.
1793
01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:26,058
Before we slept together!
1794
01:17:26,058 --> 01:17:27,309
Before I...
1795
01:17:28,352 --> 01:17:29,979
I, I let you in.
1796
01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:34,191
You had... so many chances
to say something.
1797
01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:37,027
Do you seriously not get
what a betrayal that is?
1798
01:17:38,112 --> 01:17:39,446
No, of course
you don't.
1799
01:17:39,446 --> 01:17:41,907
You know, you say
that you love
1800
01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:43,826
all those things about me,
1801
01:17:44,702 --> 01:17:47,705
but if you don't understand
that trust is the only thing
1802
01:17:47,705 --> 01:17:49,039
that matters
to me, well...
1803
01:17:50,791 --> 01:17:52,668
then I, I guess you
don't know me at all.
1804
01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:56,088
Or maybe you do
and that's why you did it.
1805
01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:58,340
Because you say
you want love,
1806
01:17:58,340 --> 01:17:59,717
blah blah, but...
1807
01:18:00,885 --> 01:18:02,219
you know,
at the end of the day,
1808
01:18:02,219 --> 01:18:03,846
you're just as afraid
of it as I am.
1809
01:18:07,558 --> 01:18:08,976
At least I know now
1810
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:11,020
for sure I was right.
1811
01:18:12,897 --> 01:18:14,857
We never should have tried
to be anything more
than friends.
1812
01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:16,525
It always screws
everything up.
1813
01:18:18,152 --> 01:18:19,195
(door opens)
1814
01:18:20,654 --> 01:18:21,614
(door closes)
1815
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:27,745
Bridget Jones: (on screen)
I have two choices.
1816
01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:32,458
To give up and accept
permanent state of spinsterhood
1817
01:18:32,458 --> 01:18:34,460
and eventual eating by dogs.
1818
01:18:35,252 --> 01:18:36,337
Or not.
1819
01:18:37,379 --> 01:18:39,173
‐And this time I choose not.
‐(cell phone buzzing)
1820
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:41,342
‐I will not be defeated...
‐Oh!
1821
01:18:41,342 --> 01:18:44,053
...by a bad man
and an American stick insect.
1822
01:18:44,511 --> 01:18:45,471
(beeps)
1823
01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:50,476
You ruined...
1824
01:18:50,893 --> 01:18:52,353
everything.
1825
01:18:56,357 --> 01:18:58,484
A sandwich for Samwich.
1826
01:19:01,862 --> 01:19:02,988
So that's it, huh?
1827
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:05,366
You're just never
gonna talk to him again?
1828
01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:07,910
Just gonna spend
the rest of your life
1829
01:19:07,910 --> 01:19:09,662
burrowed under this duvet,
1830
01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:11,538
sweating into my vintage
velvet couch
1831
01:19:11,538 --> 01:19:13,040
like some sort
of tragic dust mite?
1832
01:19:13,791 --> 01:19:15,960
‐(groans)
‐Don't you have
to work or something?
1833
01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:18,671
‐What day is it?
‐Friday.
1834
01:19:19,380 --> 01:19:21,173
Oh my God,
the rally!
1835
01:19:23,050 --> 01:19:25,094
You should probably shower.
You smell really bad.
1836
01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:26,220
All right!
1837
01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:28,597
Reporter: (on TV)
And now to Katie Leonard
on the scene
1838
01:19:28,597 --> 01:19:30,307
in downtown Chicago. Katie.
1839
01:19:30,307 --> 01:19:31,684
Katie: (on TV)
We are coming to you live
1840
01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:33,269
from one of the first
big rallies
1841
01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:35,729
in what is sure to be
a contentious governor's race.
1842
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:37,523
Mitchell's team has told us
that they plan
1843
01:19:37,523 --> 01:19:38,857
on doing
whatever it takes
1844
01:19:38,857 --> 01:19:40,359
to take her
to the next level.
1845
01:19:40,359 --> 01:19:43,070
After a difficult primary run,
a lot of people were‐‐
1846
01:19:43,070 --> 01:19:45,114
♪ I can't write one song ♪
1847
01:19:45,114 --> 01:19:46,949
♪ That's not about you ♪
1848
01:19:46,949 --> 01:19:50,911
♪ Can't drink without
thinkin' about you ♪
1849
01:19:50,911 --> 01:19:54,248
♪ Is it too late
to tell you that ♪
1850
01:19:54,248 --> 01:19:57,710
♪ Everything means nothing
if I can't have you? ♪
1851
01:19:58,210 --> 01:20:02,464
♪ I can't write one song
that's not about you ♪
1852
01:20:02,464 --> 01:20:06,468
♪ Can't drink without
thinkin' about you ♪
1853
01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:07,803
♪ Is it too late... ♪
1854
01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:10,139
Oh whoa!
Got a wristband?
1855
01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:13,392
‐Uh, I‐‐
‐No wristband, no entry.
1856
01:20:13,851 --> 01:20:17,062
♪ I'm so sorry
that my timing's off ♪
1857
01:20:17,062 --> 01:20:21,108
♪ But I can't move on
if we're still gonna talk... ♪
1858
01:20:21,108 --> 01:20:23,652
Oh, good you're here.
Okay, right through this door.
Come on, come on.
1859
01:20:24,528 --> 01:20:26,697
Stand there by the door.
Ladies. Ladies.
1860
01:20:26,697 --> 01:20:28,157
It's time. Right now.
1861
01:20:28,157 --> 01:20:29,408
(indistinct)
Let's go!
1862
01:20:29,408 --> 01:20:30,534
Let's go! Let's go!
1863
01:20:31,535 --> 01:20:32,661
All right, now remember...
1864
01:20:32,661 --> 01:20:36,040
(woman continues talking,
indistinct)
1865
01:20:36,040 --> 01:20:37,333
Woman: Energy!
Energy! Energy!
1866
01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:39,001
I want you to set up over there.
Come on, let's go.
1867
01:20:39,001 --> 01:20:40,878
Big smiles. Big smiles.
There you go.
1868
01:20:40,878 --> 01:20:44,548
(crowd cheering)
1869
01:20:44,548 --> 01:20:46,258
Announcer: (over mic)
Ladies and gentlemen,
1870
01:20:46,258 --> 01:20:47,885
put your hands together
1871
01:20:47,885 --> 01:20:50,346
for the Illinois Maples
dance team.
1872
01:20:51,513 --> 01:20:54,058
(dance music playing)
1873
01:20:57,561 --> 01:20:58,395
Oh!
1874
01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:00,731
(inaudible dialogue)
1875
01:21:02,066 --> 01:21:03,025
Cheerleader: Watch out!
1876
01:21:29,927 --> 01:21:31,095
‐Cheerleader: Look out!
‐Whoa!
1877
01:21:31,929 --> 01:21:33,055
(cheerleader grunts)
1878
01:21:40,104 --> 01:21:41,355
Hey, come here!
1879
01:21:41,355 --> 01:21:42,606
Get off the stage!
1880
01:21:43,357 --> 01:21:44,358
Ow!
1881
01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:46,693
Yeah! You!
1882
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:49,655
(both grunting)
1883
01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:54,743
(scattered applause)
1884
01:21:54,743 --> 01:21:56,036
Man: Whoo!
1885
01:22:01,834 --> 01:22:04,169
Um... uh, I...
1886
01:22:04,711 --> 01:22:06,255
Sorry. I,
I didn't mean to...
1887
01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:08,006
mess things up.
1888
01:22:08,507 --> 01:22:11,343
Someone in this very crowd
once told me that
1889
01:22:11,844 --> 01:22:14,721
wh‐when you make a mess
of things, you gotta fix 'em.
1890
01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:18,308
You got to take responsibility
for what you want in this life.
1891
01:22:19,393 --> 01:22:21,687
And if you want
the best governor
1892
01:22:21,687 --> 01:22:23,230
for your state of Illinois,
1893
01:22:23,230 --> 01:22:26,191
then you have to go out there
and accept responsibility,
1894
01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:29,570
an‐and work as hard as you can
for Lindsay Mitchell!
1895
01:22:29,570 --> 01:22:32,072
(crowd cheering, applauding)
1896
01:22:33,323 --> 01:22:35,534
Uh, just...
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Um...
1897
01:22:35,534 --> 01:22:36,952
Uh, one more thing.
1898
01:22:38,245 --> 01:22:40,330
Sam. Sam Baselli.
1899
01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:44,293
Just, just listen
to me. Please.
1900
01:22:45,294 --> 01:22:47,212
You were right,
about everything.
1901
01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:50,007
I have to take responsibility
for what I did,
1902
01:22:50,549 --> 01:22:51,842
and for what I want.
1903
01:22:52,843 --> 01:22:54,178
And what I did
was messed up.
1904
01:22:55,179 --> 01:22:57,681
And I don't just mean
that opening number.
1905
01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:00,476
And what I want
is you.
1906
01:23:01,727 --> 01:23:03,061
I'm not going to LA.
1907
01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,147
There are other jobs.
1908
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:10,235
But... there's
no other Sam Baselli.
1909
01:23:11,361 --> 01:23:12,905
You're my best friend, Sam.
1910
01:23:14,656 --> 01:23:16,950
And wherever I have to be
so I could fall asleep
1911
01:23:16,950 --> 01:23:19,578
with you in my arms
and wake up looking
in your eyes...
1912
01:23:21,538 --> 01:23:22,831
that's where I'm gonna be.
1913
01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:26,502
I'm not going anywhere
because...
1914
01:23:27,294 --> 01:23:28,295
I love you.
1915
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,506
Girl: Aww.
1916
01:23:31,423 --> 01:23:32,341
(clears throat)
1917
01:23:32,341 --> 01:23:34,134
And you can trust me
on that.
1918
01:23:36,345 --> 01:23:37,304
For real.
1919
01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:42,684
Well, are you gonna come up
and kiss him, Sam?
1920
01:23:43,310 --> 01:23:44,686
Or should I?
1921
01:23:45,437 --> 01:23:46,939
(Lindsay laughing)
1922
01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:50,734
(crowd cheering)
1923
01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:52,903
(grunts)
1924
01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:59,993
(crowd cheering, applauding)
1925
01:24:02,913 --> 01:24:04,790
Lindsay:
How about that?
1926
01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:06,708
That young man put it all
on the line...
1927
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:08,502
I know you like to be right
about everything,
1928
01:24:09,294 --> 01:24:10,921
but you were
so wrong about this.
1929
01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:14,091
Friends can fall in love...
1930
01:24:15,968 --> 01:24:17,219
and I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life
1931
01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:18,512
making sure
you know it.
1932
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:22,057
I don't mind
being wrong.
1933
01:24:37,864 --> 01:24:40,993
♪ I'm just wild about Harry ♪
1934
01:24:40,993 --> 01:24:44,246
♪ And Harry's wild about me ♪
1935
01:24:44,705 --> 01:24:46,623
♪ The heavenly blisses ♪
1936
01:24:46,623 --> 01:24:50,294
♪ Of his kisses
fill me with ecstasy ♪
1937
01:24:51,169 --> 01:24:54,339
♪ He's sweet
just like chocolate candy ♪
1938
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:57,718
♪ Or just like honey
from a bee ♪
1939
01:24:57,718 --> 01:25:00,053
♪ Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry... ♪
1940
01:25:00,053 --> 01:25:01,096
Hey!
1941
01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:02,681
Hey!
1942
01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:05,225
(baby giggles)
1943
01:25:05,475 --> 01:25:06,977
‐How was your day?
‐Good.
1944
01:25:07,519 --> 01:25:09,021
Yeah? You have
a good day?
1945
01:25:09,021 --> 01:25:09,938
Yeah.
1946
01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:11,690
‐A little bit moody today.
‐Aww.
1947
01:25:13,483 --> 01:25:16,320
(indistinct conversation)
1948
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:28,874
♪ Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry ♪
1949
01:25:28,874 --> 01:25:34,838
♪ And he's just wild
about me ♪
1950
01:25:38,383 --> 01:25:40,927
♪ I'm just wild
about Harry ♪
1951
01:25:41,595 --> 01:25:45,432
♪ And Harry's wild
about me ♪
1952
01:25:45,432 --> 01:25:47,809
♪ The heavenly blisses ♪
1953
01:25:47,809 --> 01:25:52,230
♪ Of his kisses
fill me with ecstasy ♪
1954
01:25:52,856 --> 01:25:56,443
♪ He's sweet
just like chocolate candy ♪
1955
01:25:56,443 --> 01:25:59,905
♪ Or just like honey
from a bee ♪
1956
01:26:00,238 --> 01:26:04,076
♪ Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry ♪
1957
01:26:04,076 --> 01:26:07,079
♪ And he's just wild
about me ♪