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[♪ Soft, Stirring Music ]

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[Woman soulful vocalizing]

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♪

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[Women vocalizing]

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♪

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[Women vocalizing]

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[♪ Soft Violin ]

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[Birds Chirping]

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[Water Rippling]

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NINA VAN HARN:
"It is very peaceful here

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"with the birds
singing sweetly

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"and the water
flowing softly over the rocks

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"I can think here.

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"Even though Papa says it's not
safe for me, to think, that is.

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"The only that shall know
of this spot is my sisters.

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"It'll be our spot.

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"We are both getting older

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and will probably not have
much more time together."

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And I said that because we were
getting of the age that,

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you know,
was going to be to marry.

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And so, like our time as sisters
in the same household

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was coming to an end,

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and we knew that was--
that was happening.

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[Birds Chirping]

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Well, I was known as the black sheep of the family

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growing up.

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I questioned everything,
and that was not okay, ha.

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You're expected to do
everything your father says,

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you know, and never question,
and not think.

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My father, he wanted
one thing for all of us.

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If we didn't fit in that goal
then we were less favored.

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[♪ Soft Music ]

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Right around 10,
our belief systems

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just started getting
more and more conservative,

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and we became
more and more ingrained

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in the patriarchy movement.

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And that's when
our style of dress changed.

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It's almost like we started
living back in time.

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Father is the head
of the household,

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and, you know,
the mother is his helpmeet.

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And our place is to help
our fathers and our brothers,

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you know, until our time come
that we're married off.

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The concept of marriage,

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the concept that I was
going to get married,

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was a conversation
that we started to have

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right around the time
I was maybe 11.

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I told my aunt that I was
going to have it so easy

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because I wouldn't
have to pick my spouse

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because my father
would do it for me.

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You know, by 13,

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I was going through curriculu
as part of the homeschooling,

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that was designed to train me
for how a wife should think

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and the responsibilities
a wife should have,

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and that, as a woman,
it's a sin to do anything

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that is outside
of your husband's wishes.

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It wasn't long after I turned 18
that my father first said,

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"I think I found you a spouse."

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♪

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[Chickens Clucking]

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SARA TASNEEM:
I was kind of a creative kid.

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I loved to draw.

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I had a pretty active
imagination.

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I wanted to play sports.

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I wanted to run in track,

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but in track,
you had to wear shorts.

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Since I grew up in
so many different places,

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I think it was hard to find
a real identity of who I was.

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My dad,
in his teenage years,

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he went through a period
where he was struggling

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with his religious identity
a little bit.

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He joined this group and he
got really deeply involved.

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I think that was part
of the reason

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that my mom wanted to leave.

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She didn't necessarily agree

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with The Group
and its practices.

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I think as he got
closer and closer

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to kind of the leadership,
he got more extremist.

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We were taught to kind of obe
without questioning.

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That was early on,
kind of like ingrained,

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like, you don't question.

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You don't question
what the sheikh says.

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You don't question
what he does.

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He kind of went from being
a really caring person to,

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you know,
somebody I just didn't know.

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I didn't know him anymore.

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♪

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Even though
she wasn't religious,

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she had very strong morals.

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She always told me
that education was important.

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My freshman year
of high school

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was really when I decided
to just buckle down

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and focus on having
kind of a goal in mind

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of--of who
I wanted to be.

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Had I stayed with my mom,

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I would've probably
continued on that path.

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My freshman year
had just ended.

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It was summer,
I was 15.

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When my mom found out

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that I kind of had a,
quote, unquote, "boyfriend,"

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she flipped out a little bit.

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She had a conversation
with my dad.

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My dad wanted me to go out there
to visit him that summer.

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I didn't really
want to go.

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I wanted to stay
with my mom.

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My dad sat me down
and told me that,

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"You're not allowed
to have sex out of marriage,

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and you're going
to get married."

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And it wasn't, like,
a question,

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it was like,
"You're going to get married."

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♪

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♪

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[Footsteps]

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FRAIDY REISS:
I understand forced marriage

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because I myself was
coerced into a marriage

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when I was a teenager.

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But I was not a child;
I was 19.

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I am Fraidy Reiss.

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I am the founder
and executive director

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of "Unchained at Last."

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My goal was to help women

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who were either facing
a forced marriage,

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or already in a forced marriage,
and needed help getting out.

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And I was shocked
when more and more girls

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under the age of 18 were
calling and asking for help.

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In the insular, ultra-orthodox
Jewish community in Brooklyn

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where I was raised,

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I was groomed
basically from infancy

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to become a wife
and a mother.

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I attended an all-girls
religious school

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where I received
a limited education

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that focused on God
and cooking and sewing.

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I actually had to sign a paper
when I was in high school

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promising not to
take drivers education

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or college entrance exams.

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I was considered, in some ways,
to be a rebel,

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although I cringe now

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at what I thought
was rebellious back then.

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I thought I was so bad
because I would wear knee socks

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00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:05,771
over my tights sometimes,
under my long, pleated skirt,

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to go to school,
and I would get caught,

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00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:08,441
and I would get
into big trouble,

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00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,109
"You're wearing knee socks
over your tights."

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Because when you
glance at it,

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it looks like I'm wearing only
knee socks without the tights.

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And that was considered--

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00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,116
you know,
that was a big no-no.

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00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,085
We could get suspended
for this.

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00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,622
I often think I should
write a whole book

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00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:23,956
just about what Halloween
was like

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00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,759
in the Orthodox
Jewish community in Brooklyn.

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Now I can laugh;
at the time, it wasn't funny.

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00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,964
They would let us
out of school early

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00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:33,599
and send us home
because they told us,

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"Very soon, the goyim are
going to come to your house

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and try to kill you."

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And we would go home in a panic,
and we would lock the doors

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00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,074
and close the blinds
and shut the lights.

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And, of course,
what would happen?

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Somebody would ring the bell,

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and it was somebody
wearing a costume.

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And we were convinced that it
was the goyim coming to kill us.

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It's very effective,
that type of brainwashing

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and that type of education,
because I internalized that,

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and I stayed very far
from the goyim.

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I stayed very far
from the others.

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I stayed very far
from the outside world

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because there was no place
for somebody like me

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00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:04,764
in that outside world.

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My upbringing was so separate
from boys and from men,

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I had very little
interaction.

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Just looking at
the prayer book,

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I knew that boys and men
make a blessing every morning

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thanking God for not
making them a non-Jew

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or a slave or a woman.

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And I knew that because
it was in my prayer book, too

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00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:30,022
So, I would thank God for not
making me a non-Jew or a slave,

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but then in tiny letters
under where the men were saying,

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"Thank you for not
making me a woman,"

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I was thanking God
for making me as He willed.

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Even Jewish law, it was
very limited what we learned.

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It was only what you need
to run a Jewish household.

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What we were told is,
if you have a question,

185
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,076
you're supposed to
ask your Father

186
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,944
or your husband or a rabbi.

187
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:57,516
The expectation for marriage is,
you are going to marry,

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00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,252
and you're not going to find
your own husband.

189
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,789
The matchmaker is going
to find you a match.

190
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,024
The matchmaker gets paid

191
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:08,728
only if the match
turns into an engagement.

192
00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:12,531
So, the matchmakers are very--
have a vested interest

193
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,834
in making sure that this
turns into an engagement.

194
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:19,572
My match was a Coca-Cola guy,
and I don't drink soda anymore,

195
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,941
but back then,
I was a Coca-Cola girl.

196
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,080
We both came from
very poor families,

197
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,182
which is why the matchmaker
matched us.

198
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,418
So, how could this go wrong?

199
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,723
And when I first saw him,

200
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,126
he was not at all
what I had pictured,

201
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,427
not at all the way
the matchmaker

202
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:42,561
had described him to me.

203
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:47,133
You spend a few hours together
over a period of a few weeks

204
00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:49,368
in a very
non-intimate setting.

205
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,270
And you have
the matchmaker pushing you,

206
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:52,571
"So is this a yes?
Is this a yes?"

207
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,341
And you have your--
in my case, it was my mother.

208
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,909
My father wasn't in
the picture--my mother saying,

209
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,078
"Well, you know,
we already--

210
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,379
"we already did
the research.

211
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:02,481
I mean, how much more
do you need to know?"

212
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,185
You just start
becoming convinced,

213
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,020
and you start going along
with it, and you start saying,

214
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,255
"Well, you know,
these concerns I have,

215
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,823
"I'm just picky,
I'm being stupid.

216
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:12,558
What do I really know?"

217
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,827
You know, adults around me
made this decision,

218
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,495
and they said
it's the right thing.

219
00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:29,041
[Traffic Sounds]

220
00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,915
JEANNE SMOOT: A forced marriage
is one that takes place

221
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:39,585
without the full and free
consent of one or both parties.

222
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,988
And it typically involves one or more elements of force

223
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,824
or fraud, or coercion.

224
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,626
CASEY SWEGMAN: Those complex
relationships of love and abuse

225
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:48,794
are really hard to navigate.

226
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,997
And so, as a young person,
or even as a 25-year-old,

227
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,899
if you've grown up
in that same household

228
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,768
and you don't have
a lot of independence,

229
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,470
those threats
are incredibly powerful.

230
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:02,274
They're often the ones
that get people to give in.

231
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,811
Coercion in our cases can tak
so many different forms.

232
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,913
And some of the most
powerful coercion

233
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:12,184
comes in the form of emotiona
abuse and emotional coercion.

234
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,554
We also see situations
where individuals have grown up

235
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:18,290
not able to get jobs or make
friends outside of the family,

236
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,326
and then they're told
if they refuse,

237
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,895
"Well, you'll get kicked out,
and you'll be dead to us."

238
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,097
You have no safety net,
and you have no experience,

239
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,932
and you have no income
of your own.

240
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:30,169
The threat of being kicked out,
again, incredibly powerful.

241
00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:38,444
[Water flowing]

242
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:44,450
NINA: I wanted to be
a single-woman missionary

243
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,652
and travel the world
helping people.

244
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,088
And I told my parents this,
and my father's like,

245
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,356
"Oh, you just want
to get out of the house.

246
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,324
"You know,
that's not really

247
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,760
"what the Holy Spirit's
telling you to do.

248
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,763
"You're not strong enough,
you're not wise enough,

249
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,565
"you're not grounded
in your faith enough

250
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:00,699
"to go out on your own.

251
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:02,635
You'll just be tempted
and fall into sin."

252
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:08,374
To be told that, really, that's
not what your heart's desire is

253
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:12,144
and that you're just lying,
is crushing.

254
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,249
One day my parents called me up
and they're like,

255
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,051
"Oh, we've got somebody
for you."

256
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,422
I knew like, oh, I have to
give up all of those thoughts

257
00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:27,026
and all of my dreams
because now I have to do this

258
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,031
After a couple of weeks,
my father said,

259
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:33,365
"Okay, you need
to make a decision.

260
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,600
"You need to decide

261
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,436
"if you're going to marry
this person or not.

262
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,607
"Don't forget that,
you know,

263
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:45,678
"we're really expecting you
to do the right thing.

264
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,579
"I hope you're not
thinking selfishly.

265
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,014
"You need to be thinking
of your siblings

266
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,550
"and of your cousins
and of being a good example.

267
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:55,254
"Just remember that
to disobey God

268
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,156
"is to be rebellious,

269
00:15:57,222 --> 00:16:00,592
"and rebellion is
as a sin of witchcraft.

270
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:02,328
You know, do you want
to be a witch?"

271
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,932
The decision
really boiled down to,

272
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,569
leave your family and your faith
and be an outcast

273
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,038
and essentially
be condemned to hell,

274
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,840
or do the right thing

275
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,977
and retain your family,
your faith, your community,

276
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:21,280
and, you know, make God happy
make your parents happy.

277
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,421
FRAIDY: Nobody ever said,
"If you say, 'no,'

278
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:29,989
we're going to kill you."

279
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:31,623
Nobody ever said that.

280
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:34,660
But I knew what would happen
if I said, "no."

281
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:35,894
If I said, "no,"

282
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:38,664
I probably would remain stuck
forever single in a community

283
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:40,966
where being single
was very shameful.

284
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:45,170
And that was, to me, a fate,
in many ways, worse than death.

285
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,378
I was just so happy.

286
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:57,082
I was just so happy
and so excited and so ready

287
00:16:57,216 --> 00:17:00,152
for what I thought I knew
was going to happen to me.

288
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:04,156
And--wow, I don't know
why that's bothering me.

289
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:07,860
But, you know,
when I look back,

290
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,830
that's--that's one of the things
that bothers me the most, is,

291
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:16,035
how could I have--how
could I have been so gullible

292
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,503
that I went along
with this so happily?

293
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:21,106
How--you know, where was
rebellious Fraidy that day?

294
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,517
SARA: One of the mornings,
I was taken aside.

295
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,286
I just remember him
telling me, like,

296
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,623
"That person over there is--
has been chosen for you."

297
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,928
He was older than me.

298
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,863
So, it wasn't like
I was talking to a peer.

299
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:48,100
It was more like
I was talking to an adult.

300
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,401
I just remember him saying,

301
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:50,602
"I don't want
to have an engagement.

302
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,238
I just want to get married."

303
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,607
I didn't really know
what to say.

304
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:58,043
So, I didn't say anything,
you know.

305
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,378
I wish I had.

306
00:18:02,981 --> 00:18:04,450
The leader of The Group
was there,

307
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,518
and he was going to perform
my marriage.

308
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:10,689
And so that was like a really
big honor for my family,

309
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,191
for my dad.

310
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,161
On my way up,
I remember asking somebody like,

311
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,832
"Well--um, well, where am I
going to sleep tonight?"

312
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,033
Because I was thinking,

313
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,835
"Oh, do I need to, like,
bring clothes or something?"

314
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,637
And no--like they just
looked down at the ground.

315
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,475
The focus was on me.

316
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:32,711
I had never been the focus
of so much attention.

317
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,713
And especially
in this type of setting,

318
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,082
you know,
you're kind of just--

319
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:40,619
"You're just a child,
you know, just be quiet."

320
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,422
I never thought to question.

321
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:47,926
I never thought that I had
the power to question.

322
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:52,197
Where I had come from,
that was kind of the norm.

323
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,566
I mean,
you would just listen.

324
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,568
You didn't really ask
a lot of questions,

325
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:57,436
and especially
in this setting,

326
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,905
it wasn't a place
to ask questions.

327
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:03,175
This was a place to obey and,
you know, do what you were told.

328
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:08,547
So, I guess I felt like,
for once,

329
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,652
my dad was proud of me,
and he wasn't ashamed of me.

330
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,221
And I--I wanted him
to be proud of me.

331
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,399
During and after
the ceremony,

332
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,502
I was not allowed
to talk to my mom.

333
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,539
They basically
had me call my mom

334
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:38,544
and lie to her
on the phone,

335
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,746
and tell her a story
of--you know,

336
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:44,983
that I was--I wanted
to live with my dad.

337
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:50,122
Then I was just kind of
handed over to this person

338
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,058
who I didn't really know.

339
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,528
I just became his.

340
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:59,431
I was 15,
he was 28.

341
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:06,605
♪

342
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,075
NINA: I was upstairs
in my bedroom

343
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,979
and my mom called up the stairs
that he'd arrived.

344
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:16,648
And my reaction was,
"Oh, wonderful."

345
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,283
And I started walking
down the stairs

346
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,018
and, all of a sudden,
I stopped.

347
00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,357
I don't feel anything.

348
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:29,828
I should feeling...
butterflies.

349
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,396
I haven't felt
any butterflies;

350
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,332
there's no excitement.

351
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:37,269
I'm acting excited,
but I'm not excited.

352
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,508
I don't want this.

353
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,314
And then I got called again,
"Where are you?"

354
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:54,086
And so I pranced the rest
of the way down the stairs,

355
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,454
"Oh, it's so good
to see you."

356
00:20:55,554 --> 00:21:01,727
And yet, this feeling inside
that I was dying.

357
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:10,769
♪

358
00:21:10,902 --> 00:21:11,803
You're going through
the motions;

359
00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:13,372
it was almost
like a play,

360
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,707
like you're performing
in a play.

361
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:25,450
The door is shut behind
the bridal party

362
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,085
right before
I was going to walk down.

363
00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:29,454
And my dad put the veil
over my face.

364
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,027
"Papa,
are you proud of me?"

365
00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:37,963
And he looked at me
and just said,

366
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:42,067
"Nina,
I am so proud of you.

367
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,769
You look beautiful."

368
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:49,741
And I was on cloud nine,
I was elated,

369
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:53,078
because that's all I had
ever wanted to hear from him.

370
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:55,681
And then the doors opened,
and we walked down the aisle.

371
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:02,654
There's a lot that day
that was, you know, exterior,

372
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:06,358
that I focused on, versus
what was really going on inside.

373
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:11,630
The reality, that kind of,
like, wake-up moment was,

374
00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:13,098
you know,
when they said,

375
00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:15,100
"Okay, you may now
kiss the bride,"

376
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,570
and, you know, having the veil
lifted over my face

377
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,672
and going in
for that first kiss,

378
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:28,480
and wanting to just be cherished
and to feel gentleness.

379
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:31,183
And instead, there was--
it was a very long kiss,

380
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,684
because it was,
you know,

381
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,853
trying to force his tongue
down my throat.

382
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:37,756
It was really
the first indication

383
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,491
of what was going to follow.

384
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:46,064
Consummating the marriage didn't
have to happen the first night.

385
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,467
That was going to be
his instructions.

386
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,435
And then my father
followed it up with,

387
00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:53,672
"But don't make him do that.

388
00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:55,974
"That's being selfish.

389
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:59,111
He's looking forward to this;
don't disappoint him."

390
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:02,481
Hearing this voice
in my head like,

391
00:23:02,614 --> 00:23:03,715
"You have to do this.

392
00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:05,550
You know, you don't want
to disappoint."

393
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:14,025
To be essentially just taken
and just laid down,

394
00:23:14,159 --> 00:23:18,797
and instead of having somebod
discover you

395
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:27,706
and want to know you
and to explore your skin,

396
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:32,177
you have somebody
that just uses you,

397
00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:37,449
without regard
to what it feels like for you

398
00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:44,289
My body's not my own
any longer.

399
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,758
Now it belongs to him.

400
00:23:46,858 --> 00:23:50,896
And feeling like I didn't
really want to share it,

401
00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:56,468
but had to,
because there's no alternative.

402
00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,470
I'm his wife now.

403
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:18,757
[Traffic Sounds]

404
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:19,724
SARA: We were kind of
bouncing around

405
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:21,693
from household to household.

406
00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:23,662
We stayed with--
at my dad's house for a while

407
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,597
and then we went
to his brother's house,

408
00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:26,798
and then we went
to the sheikh's house,

409
00:24:26,898 --> 00:24:29,601
and then various households.

410
00:24:29,701 --> 00:24:33,505
I was 16, and I was about
seven months pregnant.

411
00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:37,309
We ended up
driving up to Reno.

412
00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:39,077
It was about like
a four-hour drive.

413
00:24:41,179 --> 00:24:43,515
We ended up having like
a civil marriage there.

414
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:50,121
We had a letter from my dad,
kind of like a permission sli

415
00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:52,057
that you would send your kids
to school with.

416
00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:57,062
So, yeah, that's all it took
in the state of Nevada.

417
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,732
[Flag Flapping]

418
00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:02,100
I was very pregnant,

419
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:08,306
so that's clearly
evidence of a rape,

420
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,675
of statutory rape.

421
00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:12,310
Nobody asked me about that.

422
00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:16,481
I was never questioned...

423
00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:17,983
not even once.

424
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:24,155
[Ocean Waves]

425
00:25:24,222 --> 00:25:27,459
AMY PAULIN: Child marriage
is not just a problem

426
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:31,663
that occurs in countries
on the other side of the globe,

427
00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:37,102
but it happens right here
in our own very backyard.

428
00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:40,805
Child marriage
is forced marriage,

429
00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:44,609
and signifies
a pervasive discrimination

430
00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:47,846
against young girls.

431
00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:50,081
Like victims
of human trafficking

432
00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:52,817
and domestic violence,

433
00:25:52,951 --> 00:25:56,955
victims of child marriage
are forced and condemned

434
00:25:57,088 --> 00:26:00,225
to a life that
they did not choose,

435
00:26:00,358 --> 00:26:02,160
with no means of escape,

436
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:05,697
resulting in physical
and mental health problems,

437
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:09,167
loss of education
and economic opportunities,

438
00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:13,471
and an increased likelihood
of experiencing violence.

439
00:26:13,605 --> 00:26:14,873
SAFIA MAHJEBIN:
Even though, at that time,

440
00:26:15,006 --> 00:26:18,143
we didn't know what the term "forced marriage" was,

441
00:26:18,276 --> 00:26:21,346
we knew that she was being pressured on all sides.

442
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:24,683
Even though we didn't know what
the term "child marriage" was,

443
00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:27,452
we knew that she was
going through it.

444
00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:30,488
And even though we didn't know
the term "domestic violence,"

445
00:26:30,622 --> 00:26:34,926
we knew that she was marrying
a man eight years older than her

446
00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:37,896
who can easily overpower
and control her.

447
00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:41,566
And even though we didn't know
the term "victim,"

448
00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:43,101
we knew that we had no way

449
00:26:43,234 --> 00:26:45,203
of preventing her
from becoming one.

450
00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:49,407
JEANNE: Forced and
child marriage is something

451
00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:52,444
people haven't talked about
in the United States.

452
00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:55,747
And it's not something that
I think people have realized,

453
00:26:55,847 --> 00:26:57,649
until relatively recently,

454
00:26:57,749 --> 00:27:01,252
does happen, how it happens,
how many people it happens to

455
00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:03,855
Up to this point,
I think many people

456
00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:06,358
have been treating
forced and child marriage

457
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,528
as perhaps similar to the way
domestic violence was treated

458
00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:11,529
30 years ago or so;

459
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,264
"It's a private matter,
it's a family matter,

460
00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:15,934
"it's sort of
what that family does.

461
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:17,302
"It's within the home.

462
00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:19,237
It's not my business,
it's not my role."

463
00:27:37,355 --> 00:27:38,823
TREVICIA WILLIAMS: I was picked up from high school

464
00:27:38,923 --> 00:27:41,259
at the age of 14, right after school,

465
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,262
and carried to the Justice of the Peace cour

466
00:27:44,362 --> 00:27:47,065
and married off to a 26-year-old man.

467
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,970
SHERRY JOHNSON: I had the handcuffs actually put on me

468
00:27:52,070 --> 00:27:53,938
to marry my rapist.

469
00:27:55,874 --> 00:27:59,177
DONNA POLLARD: I was targeted as a vulnerable child

470
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,146
and groomed.

471
00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:06,317
I suffered abuse, exploitation,
entrapment, and manipulation.

472
00:28:08,486 --> 00:28:09,721
FRAIDY:
I founded this organization,

473
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:11,089
Unchained at Last,

474
00:28:11,222 --> 00:28:14,292
to help people who are in
or facing a forced marriage.

475
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:17,162
And we're almost always
able to help the adults.

476
00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:23,401
But when girls 17 or younger
call and ask for help,

477
00:28:23,568 --> 00:28:25,336
what's clear is that

478
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:27,605
there's almost nothing
that these girls can do

479
00:28:27,739 --> 00:28:30,108
to prevent themselves from
being forced into a marriage,

480
00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:31,543
and there's almost
nothing they can do

481
00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:33,478
once they're in the marriage
to get out of it.

482
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:41,319
Almost every U.S. state sets 18
as a minimum marriage age.

483
00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:44,022
But almost every state
has exceptions.

484
00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:54,833
JEANNE: What those laws do,
unfortunately,

485
00:28:54,933 --> 00:28:56,901
is they provide
a number of exceptions

486
00:28:57,035 --> 00:28:58,536
to a minimum marriage age,

487
00:28:58,636 --> 00:29:00,338
which can provide loopholes

488
00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:04,776
for individuals who are
too young to be able

489
00:29:05,043 --> 00:29:06,344
to assert their rights
for themselves,

490
00:29:06,444 --> 00:29:09,848
advocate for themselves
legally and practically.

491
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:20,725
FRAIDY: There are
so many variations.

492
00:29:20,825 --> 00:29:23,928
And in some states, a child
needs to go in front of a judge.

493
00:29:23,995 --> 00:29:25,630
In some states,
they can just get married

494
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:27,332
with a clerk's approval.

495
00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:31,035
What we've seen is parents
doing a Google search.

496
00:29:32,403 --> 00:29:34,939
There was a national
news story last year,

497
00:29:35,006 --> 00:29:39,344
a girl from Idaho, 14 years old,
who was raped and got pregnant,

498
00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:43,014
and her father wanted to marr
her off to her adult rapist.

499
00:29:43,148 --> 00:29:44,682
He went online,
and did a Google search.

500
00:29:44,816 --> 00:29:47,986
And he thought, "Well, where can
I marry off my daughter easily?"

501
00:29:48,119 --> 00:29:50,421
Now, Idaho,
I would say fairly easy there.

502
00:29:50,555 --> 00:29:52,891
In fact, of the 38 states
where we collected the data,

503
00:29:53,024 --> 00:29:55,193
Idaho had the highest rate
of child marriage.

504
00:29:55,326 --> 00:29:58,229
But what he discovered is that
in Missouri, it's even easier.

505
00:29:58,363 --> 00:30:00,465
So, he took her out
to Missouri,

506
00:30:00,598 --> 00:30:02,934
and in Missouri, forced
his 14-year-old daughter,

507
00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:04,936
who had been raped
and gotten pregnant,

508
00:30:05,036 --> 00:30:07,071
to marry her adult rapist.

509
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,441
What in the world
are we doing?

510
00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:14,179
So, our laws are setting up
this situation

511
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:17,348
where girls can be abused
and forced into a marriage

512
00:30:17,448 --> 00:30:19,717
but can't take any of
the basic steps necessary

513
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,386
to protect themselves.

514
00:30:31,262 --> 00:30:32,197
JEANNE:
The Tahirih Justice Center

515
00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:35,366
took a long, hard look
at all 50 states

516
00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:37,101
and their minimum
marriage age laws

517
00:30:37,268 --> 00:30:38,903
and the exceptions
on their books.

518
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,472
And we were really stunned.

519
00:30:41,539 --> 00:30:43,208
Many states,
27 states,

520
00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:45,343
where there is
no lower age limit

521
00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:47,011
if the conditions
set by statute,

522
00:30:47,078 --> 00:30:49,581
whether that's parental consent
or judicial consent or pregnancy

523
00:30:49,647 --> 00:30:52,550
or some combination thereof,
are met.

524
00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:55,753
But the variation among them<
the kind of inattention,

525
00:30:55,820 --> 00:30:59,324
and, frankly, the feeling
in all of those laws

526
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:03,895
that what was being prioritized
was parental control

527
00:31:04,062 --> 00:31:05,730
and not child protection.

528
00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:09,100
The lack of concern
that was embodied in these laws

529
00:31:09,267 --> 00:31:12,237
was really stunning
when we looked at them.

530
00:31:12,403 --> 00:31:15,240
And so, we put together
a compilation of them

531
00:31:15,406 --> 00:31:20,845
and really kind of exposed
where those cracks and gaps

532
00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:22,914
and loopholes lie
in the laws.

533
00:31:32,290 --> 00:31:33,291
JENNIFER McCLELLAN:
I was approached

534
00:31:33,424 --> 00:31:35,393
by the Tahirih Justice Center

535
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:37,295
A lot of their clients
were coming to them

536
00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,497
who had been forced
into marriage,

537
00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:41,766
were trapped, were in abusive relationships,

538
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,701
were looking for a way out.

539
00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:46,437
And they found that half
of their clients were children.

540
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:50,675
And they found that
over a 10-year period,

541
00:31:50,808 --> 00:31:54,612
there were some really alarming
statistics of how many girls,

542
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:58,316
particularly under
the age of 16, were married.

543
00:31:58,449 --> 00:31:59,417
RICHARD MORRIS:
Mr. Speaker,

544
00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:01,119
I've asked the young lady
if she can cite

545
00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:03,421
any specific cases in Virginia

546
00:32:03,554 --> 00:32:07,892
of the forced marriages of the minors that it has occurred.

547
00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:09,594
JENNIFER McCLELLAN: If the
gentleman would like to hear,

548
00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:14,165
this was a 17-year-old
who had suffered years

549
00:32:14,299 --> 00:32:16,601
of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse

550
00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:19,370
at the hands of her family in an effort to get her

551
00:32:19,504 --> 00:32:22,440
to agree to marry an older man that she barely knew

552
00:32:22,573 --> 00:32:25,610
and had not chosen for herself, at a time in her life

553
00:32:25,743 --> 00:32:27,645
when she only wanted to focus on school

554
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,181
and a wide-open future rather than marriage

555
00:32:30,315 --> 00:32:32,016
to a man that she didn't know.

556
00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:34,018
Child Protective Services tried to intervene,

557
00:32:34,152 --> 00:32:35,153
but they couldn't.

558
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:36,988
She kept trying to cry out for help,

559
00:32:37,088 --> 00:32:38,256
but she couldn't get a protective order

560
00:32:38,356 --> 00:32:40,725
because she was under age.

561
00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:47,799
The way the law in Virginia was,
if you were 16 or 17,

562
00:32:47,899 --> 00:32:50,201
you could get married
with your parents' permission.

563
00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:53,271
If you were under 16,
and the girl was pregnant,

564
00:32:53,371 --> 00:32:56,341
you could get married
with your parents' permission.

565
00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:59,911
There was a defense on the books
for carnal knowledge

566
00:33:00,011 --> 00:33:04,082
with a child 14 or younger
if you married her.

567
00:33:13,358 --> 00:33:14,625
That was particularly
disturbing

568
00:33:14,726 --> 00:33:16,728
where there's
an abusive relationship,

569
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:20,398
because if you have a girl
who is married,

570
00:33:20,498 --> 00:33:22,533
in an abusive marriage,
she can't get out.

571
00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:24,669
She can't call
Child Protective Services

572
00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:28,439
because child abuse is define
as between a parent and a child,

573
00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,408
not a husband and a wife.

574
00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:33,745
She couldn't go to
a domestic violence shelter

575
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:37,048
because most shelters
would see a child show up alone

576
00:33:37,215 --> 00:33:40,051
and consider them
to be a runaway.

577
00:33:40,184 --> 00:33:43,121
She couldn't file for divorce
or seek a protective order

578
00:33:43,254 --> 00:33:45,390
because those are things
that only adults

579
00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:47,025
have the right to do.

580
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:48,559
So, she was stuck.

581
00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:50,528
We saw that there was
a provision

582
00:33:50,661 --> 00:33:52,263
that said
once you're married,

583
00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:55,233
you could get emancipated
by the court,

584
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:57,368
which declares you
legally an adult.

585
00:33:57,435 --> 00:33:58,770
So, we said,
"Why don't we flip it?

586
00:34:00,004 --> 00:34:01,339
"If you're going
to get married,

587
00:34:01,439 --> 00:34:02,840
you should be
emancipated first."

588
00:34:04,675 --> 00:34:08,646
The pushback came,
men mostly, who said,

589
00:34:08,746 --> 00:34:12,650
"If my daughter gets pregnant,
she better get married,"

590
00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:15,186
or, "I want her
to get married."

591
00:34:15,286 --> 00:34:17,288
And what struck me
about that was,

592
00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:21,125
if your daughter is under 17
and she's pregnant,

593
00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:22,293
she's a victim of a crime.

594
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:29,033
- To remove a parental decision making

595
00:34:29,133 --> 00:34:31,936
of their own minor, their child,

596
00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:33,805
ought to be compelling--

597
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,306
overwhelming, compelling evidence

598
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:37,608
that we are now removing that from parents.

599
00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:39,410
I think that to remove a parents' rights

600
00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:41,245
and responsibilities

601
00:34:41,345 --> 00:34:43,548
and giving-- now allowing the judge

602
00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:46,651
to make the decision over the parent,

603
00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:50,788
is that really where we want our parental rights to come to?

604
00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:52,156
>> Yes.

605
00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:55,426
- I think that is a huge infringement

606
00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:58,296
on parental rights and responsibilities,

607
00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:00,798
and that's why I will not support this bill.

608
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,366
Thank you, Mr. Speaker.

609
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:04,435
- Unfortunately,
in state after state,

610
00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:06,904
legislators have either
rejected the legislation

611
00:35:07,038 --> 00:35:09,373
and said, "No, thank you,
I don't want to eliminate

612
00:35:09,507 --> 00:35:11,642
a human rights abuse
that destroys girls' lives,"

613
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:14,245
or they've watered it down, so,

614
00:35:14,479 --> 00:35:15,980
"Yeah, we'll take out
this exception,

615
00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:18,116
but we'll put in the other one
and the other one and that one."

616
00:35:18,182 --> 00:35:19,417
And then, you know,
we're the ones

617
00:35:19,484 --> 00:35:20,751
who get the calls
from the girls

618
00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:23,321
the day after the law passes,
we get those calls.

619
00:35:23,387 --> 00:35:24,889
Now the girls,
under the new loopholes,

620
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:26,390
are being forced to marry.

621
00:35:28,192 --> 00:35:32,330
♪

622
00:35:39,737 --> 00:35:43,207
♪

623
00:35:46,244 --> 00:35:47,812
>> Save our children;

624
00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:51,182
3091,
we won't stop until it's done.

625
00:35:51,249 --> 00:35:56,320
[Crowd Chanting] 3091,
we won't stop until it's done.

626
00:35:56,721 --> 00:35:59,790
FRAIDY: A3091 had overwhelmin
bipartisan support

627
00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:02,126
in both houses
of the legislature.

628
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:08,366
>> The legislature passed bil
A3091 on March 13th,

629
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:13,070
and Governor Christie issued
a conditional veto May 11th.

630
00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:14,238
FRAIDY:
It was common sense.

631
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:15,373
And then Governor Christie

632
00:36:15,540 --> 00:36:18,242
went and conditionally
vetoed that bill.

633
00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:21,445
The reason that he gave
is illogical.

634
00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:23,848
What he said is
that ending child marriage

635
00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:26,284
would somehow interfere
with religious customs.

636
00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:29,420
I don't know about you,

637
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,955
but I have never heard

638
00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:32,557
that requires child marriage.

639
00:36:34,292 --> 00:36:39,297
♪

640
00:36:44,735 --> 00:36:47,471
♪

641
00:36:49,540 --> 00:36:51,776
NICHOLAS SYRETT:
Attitudes towards sex play,

642
00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:54,045
I would argue, an inordinate role

643
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:56,447
in the history of early marriage.

644
00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:58,916
One of the reasons
that we have set

645
00:36:59,016 --> 00:37:01,786
our minimum
marriageable age so low

646
00:37:01,986 --> 00:37:05,823
is because lawmakers are clearly
very worried about girls,

647
00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:08,993
more so than boys,
having sex outside of marriage.

648
00:37:09,126 --> 00:37:10,861
♪

649
00:37:10,995 --> 00:37:12,096
NICHOLAS SYRETT:
In the early 19th century,

650
00:37:12,196 --> 00:37:15,199
most Americans were not
conscious of their ages.

651
00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:16,300
And even if they were,

652
00:37:16,434 --> 00:37:18,769
it was not a central componen
of their identity

653
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,705
in the way it is
for us now.

654
00:37:20,805 --> 00:37:22,373
We all know
how old we are.

655
00:37:22,506 --> 00:37:24,041
We all have
birth certificates.

656
00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:26,711
We all are permitted
to do certain things

657
00:37:26,777 --> 00:37:28,613
only at certain ages.

658
00:37:28,713 --> 00:37:31,182
So, people moved
into adult roles

659
00:37:31,282 --> 00:37:33,884
when they were big enough
or able enough

660
00:37:33,985 --> 00:37:37,321
or financially secure enough
to do so.

661
00:37:39,957 --> 00:37:42,526
The marriage of people
we would now call teenagers,

662
00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:44,729
from the age
of 12 through 18,

663
00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:47,865
was quite common
in a variety of locations.

664
00:37:47,965 --> 00:37:50,735
It did not attract
all that much attention.

665
00:37:50,835 --> 00:37:52,670
Girls, the only stipulation,
really,

666
00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:56,040
was that they had
achieved puberty,

667
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,909
that their parents were willing,
or if they were orphans,

668
00:37:58,976 --> 00:38:01,212
that someone was
allowing this to happen,

669
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:04,815
and that they were capable
of keeping a house.

670
00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:08,486
During the 1950s,

671
00:38:08,552 --> 00:38:10,121
the rates of minor marriage,

672
00:38:10,187 --> 00:38:15,526
particularly for middle-class
urban, suburban white girls,

673
00:38:15,593 --> 00:38:17,695
the age of first marriage
went way down.

674
00:38:17,762 --> 00:38:20,731
It was the lowest
in the 20th century.

675
00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:24,135
Obsessed with obtaining
the domestic ideal

676
00:38:24,368 --> 00:38:25,703
during this moment.

677
00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:28,906
So, this is the era
of "Leave It to Beaver,"

678
00:38:29,106 --> 00:38:30,274
and "Father Knows Best."

679
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:33,711
The way to be patriotic
and to express your patriotis

680
00:38:33,944 --> 00:38:36,514
and your anticommunism
was at least in part through

681
00:38:36,714 --> 00:38:39,583
establishing the ideal
American home.

682
00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:41,819
Young people were taught
in marriage and family

683
00:38:42,019 --> 00:38:44,388
living classes
in their high schools

684
00:38:44,455 --> 00:38:46,390
how to be husbands and wives.

685
00:38:50,461 --> 00:38:52,763
Sexual standards
have been changing

686
00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:55,866
from the early 20th century,
especially during the 1920s.

687
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,603
So, boys and girls,
teenagers of both sexes

688
00:38:59,737 --> 00:39:02,840
were experimenting
more sexually in dating.

689
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:07,144
One of the consequences of this
was actual intercourse

690
00:39:07,278 --> 00:39:08,779
and then
sometimes pregnancy.

691
00:39:08,913 --> 00:39:10,448
But we were still
at a moment

692
00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:12,950
when especially
middle-class white folks

693
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:15,152
were not comfortable
with the notion

694
00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:19,757
of out-of-wedlock pregnancy,
when abortion was illegal.

695
00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:22,059
And so, the result
was a shotgun marriage.

696
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:36,907
♪

697
00:40:05,836 --> 00:40:07,905
- People think
of a forced marriage

698
00:40:08,038 --> 00:40:10,841
as somebody holding a gun
to the bride's head and saying,

699
00:40:10,975 --> 00:40:14,412
"You are getting married today
to this guy, like it or not."

700
00:40:14,545 --> 00:40:16,547
And nobody held a gun
to my head.

701
00:40:19,049 --> 00:40:21,018
What you come
to realize, eventually,

702
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:23,888
or what I came to realize
eventually, is,

703
00:40:23,954 --> 00:40:25,356
you don't have to hold
a gun to somebody's head

704
00:40:25,456 --> 00:40:27,925
to force her to do something,
or to even convince her

705
00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:29,994
that it was her own choice
to begin with.

706
00:40:32,530 --> 00:40:33,597
What choice you have,

707
00:40:33,697 --> 00:40:37,601
and this is what you were
groomed for your entire life,

708
00:40:37,701 --> 00:40:38,803
and then to be told

709
00:40:38,903 --> 00:40:40,037
that I have the choice
about whom to marry

710
00:40:40,137 --> 00:40:42,907
and convince me
that this is a choice,

711
00:40:43,007 --> 00:40:45,676
when how could that
possibly be a choice

712
00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:48,145
if it's--
you can say, "yes,"

713
00:40:48,245 --> 00:40:50,314
to this guy the matchmaker
brought to you,

714
00:40:50,414 --> 00:40:53,484
or you can face
the terrible repercussions.

715
00:40:53,584 --> 00:40:55,085
What kind of choice
is that?

716
00:40:55,186 --> 00:41:00,024
[Street Sounds]

717
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:01,992
I never signed
my marriage license,

718
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:04,328
my Jewish marriage contract.

719
00:41:04,428 --> 00:41:05,162
Two rabbis signed that.

720
00:41:05,262 --> 00:41:06,764
I wasn't a party
to my own marriage.

721
00:41:06,864 --> 00:41:08,599
I was given to my husband.

722
00:41:13,504 --> 00:41:17,942
It was a week after our wedding
that he woke up late one morning

723
00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:23,514
and, you know, was enraged
at himself for being late

724
00:41:23,581 --> 00:41:26,116
and started screaming
and cursing.

725
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:32,623
In this blind rage, he punche
his fist through the wall,

726
00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:34,525
and then he ran out.

727
00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:38,395
And it was that moment,
I just stood there shaking

728
00:41:38,462 --> 00:41:41,398
and looking at that hole
in the wall and thinking,

729
00:41:41,465 --> 00:41:43,100
the fact that he can do this

730
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,737
over something
as small as waking up late,

731
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:50,875
I knew right then
that that was a problem.

732
00:41:50,941 --> 00:41:52,776
I was so, you know, young;
I was 19.

733
00:41:52,943 --> 00:41:54,144
You know,
I'm still a teenager.

734
00:41:54,278 --> 00:41:56,814
And I didn't know him
very well at the time.

735
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:01,685
I had
no reproductive rights.

736
00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:04,255
So, I was not allowed
to use birth control,

737
00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:07,191
and I was required
to have sex with my husband.

738
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,093
So, within two months,
I was pregnant.

739
00:42:09,226 --> 00:42:13,797
I gave birth 11 months after
my wedding, to my first child.

740
00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:15,566
Immediately pregnant,
and then pretty soon,

741
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,401
I have two kids
and no--no money,

742
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:20,804
no way to support them,
no education to fall back on,

743
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:23,173
and don't even have
the legal right

744
00:42:23,274 --> 00:42:25,609
to leave my own marriage
on my own.

745
00:42:25,709 --> 00:42:28,712
Really, the only way out
would have been

746
00:42:28,779 --> 00:42:30,781
if my family would have
taken me back in.

747
00:42:30,881 --> 00:42:32,883
And I could have moved
back in with my mother

748
00:42:32,983 --> 00:42:36,287
and been an agunah
it's a chained woman,

749
00:42:36,353 --> 00:42:40,291
a woman whose husband
won't divorce her.

750
00:42:40,357 --> 00:42:44,728
And yet, when I asked my mother
if I could do this,

751
00:42:44,795 --> 00:42:46,063
the answer was "no."

752
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:47,064
The answer was "no."

753
00:42:47,164 --> 00:42:49,833
And, in fact,
her position was,

754
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:52,570
"You chose him.

755
00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:54,071
You chose this guy."

756
00:42:57,541 --> 00:43:00,778
[Water rippling]
[Birds Chirping]

757
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,012
SARA:
There was never

758
00:43:02,112 --> 00:43:04,448
a period of time
that I can remember

759
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:05,716
that I didn't go
without crying.

760
00:43:05,849 --> 00:43:08,152
Like, every day,
I probably cried.

761
00:43:13,290 --> 00:43:15,893
I called my dad kind of
when I was at my worst.

762
00:43:16,026 --> 00:43:17,895
He's the one
who got me into this mess.

763
00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:20,631
The least he could do
was kind of help me figure out

764
00:43:20,764 --> 00:43:22,366
what I need to do next.

765
00:43:23,968 --> 00:43:25,302
At first,
he didn't really respond.

766
00:43:25,402 --> 00:43:25,970
And then he was just like,

767
00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:27,671
"Well, you know,
you should pray.

768
00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:29,873
God will help you."

769
00:43:30,007 --> 00:43:33,611
And it wasn't like,
"Let me help you,"

770
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:35,879
or, "Let's figure
this out together,"

771
00:43:36,013 --> 00:43:37,381
or "What do you need?"

772
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,351
I felt like it was
his way of saying, like,

773
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:43,053
"You deserve this."

774
00:43:43,153 --> 00:43:44,321
Kind of went back
to my childhood.

775
00:43:44,421 --> 00:43:47,257
It's like I felt
really responsible for it.

776
00:43:50,394 --> 00:43:53,364
For a time, it was
just me and my daughter.

777
00:43:53,497 --> 00:43:57,368
You know, I would be at home
while my husband was working.

778
00:43:57,501 --> 00:43:59,069
I would take her out for walks,

779
00:43:59,169 --> 00:44:00,704
and we would go around
the neighborhood,

780
00:44:00,804 --> 00:44:03,707
and I would see young girls
my age walking to school.

781
00:44:06,076 --> 00:44:08,912
I thought, "I need to do
something about this situation."

782
00:44:11,915 --> 00:44:13,183
In order to get
into this program

783
00:44:13,283 --> 00:44:16,286
that I wanted to go to,
I had to have my GED,

784
00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:20,157
so I started going
to adult school.

785
00:44:20,257 --> 00:44:21,659
About halfway
into the program,

786
00:44:21,759 --> 00:44:23,594
I found out
I was pregnant again,

787
00:44:23,694 --> 00:44:25,929
and I was, like,
pretty devastated.

788
00:44:29,266 --> 00:44:31,669
I wanted to talk
to my mom.

789
00:44:31,769 --> 00:44:35,472
I called her,
and she came out.

790
00:44:35,539 --> 00:44:37,241
She came out to see me,
like, almost immediately.

791
00:44:39,410 --> 00:44:42,880
Up until that point, I think
she didn't know where I was.

792
00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:44,214
She did come back
into my life,

793
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:48,652
and she really encouraged me
to continue to go to school.

794
00:44:48,786 --> 00:44:49,920
And so,
I kept going to school

795
00:44:50,020 --> 00:44:51,855
until I was like
eight months pregnant.

796
00:44:54,591 --> 00:44:56,894
[Water Rippling]

797
00:44:57,027 --> 00:45:00,197
NINA: About three months
after the wedding,

798
00:45:00,330 --> 00:45:04,134
I found out
that I was pregnant.

799
00:45:04,268 --> 00:45:05,436
And, of course,
it's expected

800
00:45:05,569 --> 00:45:07,337
that you get pregnant
right away.

801
00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:14,211
I just remember taking the test,
and it was positive.

802
00:45:14,311 --> 00:45:17,047
And I thought,
"No, it can't be."

803
00:45:17,147 --> 00:45:20,451
And then I took another one,
and it's positive.

804
00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:27,624
I just remembered this one tiny,
brief thought that said,

805
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,293
"You're really trapped now."

806
00:45:35,099 --> 00:45:37,901
And then I quickly
dismissed it

807
00:45:38,001 --> 00:45:42,272
because, after all, I should be
thrilled to be having a baby.

808
00:45:46,043 --> 00:45:48,846
He didn't really
like me pregnant,

809
00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:51,715
and he didn't like
what it did to my body.

810
00:45:51,949 --> 00:45:54,284
And because I wasn't
as attractive,

811
00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:56,887
he'd be more prone
to giving into temptations

812
00:45:56,987 --> 00:46:00,691
and, you know, of course,
that was my fault

813
00:46:00,824 --> 00:46:02,493
for not being
available enough.

814
00:46:05,429 --> 00:46:09,967
The day my daughter was born,
having her get laid on my chest,

815
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:12,469
and I looked at her,
and I thought,

816
00:46:12,569 --> 00:46:18,008
"This is a little human being
that just loves me for me."

817
00:46:19,676 --> 00:46:24,481
And that was a gift
that I hadn't had before.

818
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:28,185
[Baby Coos]

819
00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:31,555
I just remembered it was
just really difficult because

820
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:33,690
all of a sudden, he wasn't
getting all the attention.

821
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:36,593
I had a daughter to
take care of and had to nurse

822
00:46:36,693 --> 00:46:41,965
and my body wasn't available
at all times to meet his needs.

823
00:46:42,065 --> 00:46:44,802
And he started
to really resent that.

824
00:46:44,902 --> 00:46:46,036
Got to a point

825
00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:49,373
where it didn't matter
that I was nursing the baby.

826
00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:55,112
And I would just hide her...

827
00:46:56,914 --> 00:46:59,583
and try and disconnect from
that whole half of my body.

828
00:47:07,057 --> 00:47:09,159
When you go through
so many years

829
00:47:09,326 --> 00:47:13,764
of bottling up your emotions
and tossing that bottle away,

830
00:47:13,897 --> 00:47:19,503
what you're left with is a shell
that doesn't feel anything,

831
00:47:19,636 --> 00:47:23,874
just this constant tight feeling
in the chest every day,

832
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:26,610
the headaches, the stomachaches,
not being able to eat,

833
00:47:26,743 --> 00:47:29,446
just not feeling good,
you know,

834
00:47:29,580 --> 00:47:32,282
and then every now and then
having this lucid moment.

835
00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:34,051
I remember sitting on the edg
of my bed one day,

836
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,786
and I was looking
out the window,

837
00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:41,491
and I just said, "Lord,
I am so utterly miserable.

838
00:47:43,927 --> 00:47:45,495
What do I do?"

839
00:47:53,270 --> 00:47:54,538
Trying to talk
to my dad,

840
00:47:54,638 --> 00:47:56,807
then it's, "Oh, you're
just being dramatic,"

841
00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,243
or, "You're just
overthinking it,"

842
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:01,712
or, "You know, well,
if you didn't say, 'no,'

843
00:48:01,845 --> 00:48:02,846
then it's not assault."

844
00:48:02,946 --> 00:48:04,214
[Chuckles]

845
00:48:04,314 --> 00:48:07,684
"It's a husband's right and duty
to--to take what he wants,

846
00:48:07,784 --> 00:48:10,821
"you know, so what--
what's the problem here?

847
00:48:10,954 --> 00:48:12,155
"You know, obviously,
you're not doing

848
00:48:12,256 --> 00:48:13,991
what you're supposed
to be doing."

849
00:48:16,526 --> 00:48:19,730
So, there's always a comeback,
there's always a dismissal.

850
00:48:19,830 --> 00:48:24,301
And, of course, there's also
a lot of shame in that.

851
00:48:29,606 --> 00:48:30,707
CASEY SWEGMAN:
What we're talking about

852
00:48:30,807 --> 00:48:32,709
is forced consummation,
which is rape.

853
00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:35,379
And, honestly, I don't think
a lot of people think about that

854
00:48:35,479 --> 00:48:38,382
when they think
about forced marriage.

855
00:48:38,482 --> 00:48:40,350
I really have to drive home
for people fundamentally

856
00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:43,754
what happens
on a wedding night.

857
00:48:43,854 --> 00:48:46,323
And we can assume
that nonconsensual sex

858
00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:48,392
follows
a nonconsensual marriage.

859
00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:49,793
When you're in a marriage,

860
00:48:49,893 --> 00:48:51,828
it's expected that
you will have intercourse

861
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,398
many, many times;
that it will be regular

862
00:48:54,498 --> 00:48:57,567
and that it will be
at the man's whim.

863
00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:59,503
You find yourself
in a situation

864
00:48:59,569 --> 00:49:01,571
where you're facing not only
a rape on your wedding night,

865
00:49:01,705 --> 00:49:03,840
but ongoing sexual abuse
and sexual assault

866
00:49:03,974 --> 00:49:05,208
within your marriage.

867
00:49:07,244 --> 00:49:10,814
Short-term devastating effect
are abuse,

868
00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:14,685
the end of your education,
isolation, sexual assault.

869
00:49:14,818 --> 00:49:17,387
The long-term effects
are all of those things

870
00:49:17,487 --> 00:49:22,359
multiplied over years
and feeling financially disabled

871
00:49:22,492 --> 00:49:27,364
and feeling incredibly,
inextricably tied to this person

872
00:49:27,497 --> 00:49:29,599
because of how long
you've been forced to stay,

873
00:49:29,700 --> 00:49:31,702
and the legal ways in which
you're now tied to them

874
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:34,404
through marriage,
through children, et cetera.

875
00:49:40,077 --> 00:49:42,112
[♪ Soft Piano ]

876
00:49:42,212 --> 00:49:45,816
[Kids Chattering]

877
00:49:45,949 --> 00:49:48,986
[Dishes Clinking]

878
00:49:49,119 --> 00:49:50,287
NINA:
When you realize

879
00:49:50,387 --> 00:49:54,725
that the people that you
look to as your protectors

880
00:49:54,858 --> 00:49:57,060
are more like
your prison wardens,

881
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,429
it's a terrifying thing.

882
00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:03,767
When you realize that,
at any moment,

883
00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:08,672
someone can just barge in
and take your body...

884
00:50:10,874 --> 00:50:12,409
it's a terrifying thing.

885
00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,413
SARA:
When you're a kid,

886
00:50:16,513 --> 00:50:19,416
and then you're forced
into something,

887
00:50:19,549 --> 00:50:22,419
you don't know
why it's wrong.

888
00:50:22,552 --> 00:50:28,291
You just feel like it is wrong,
but you don't know why.

889
00:50:28,392 --> 00:50:32,629
And it takes you a really
long time to figure out why

890
00:50:32,729 --> 00:50:34,131
and who you are.

891
00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:37,768
And, you know,
unfortunately,

892
00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,536
you know, some girls
just never even get there.

893
00:50:43,740 --> 00:50:45,175
FRAIDY: When he first
threatened to kill me,

894
00:50:45,275 --> 00:50:46,777
he would describe to me
in detail

895
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:48,845
how he was going to kill me.

896
00:50:48,945 --> 00:50:51,214
And it was very graphic
and very scary.

897
00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:55,585
I never had
a black-and-blue mark.

898
00:50:55,685 --> 00:50:58,488
I never had a broken bone.

899
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:01,425
And I think that that's part
of why, when I was, you know,

900
00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,493
trying to get help
from my family, his family,

901
00:51:03,593 --> 00:51:05,295
and rabbis, it was,
you know,

902
00:51:05,395 --> 00:51:07,164
people with
limited understanding

903
00:51:07,264 --> 00:51:09,966
of domestic violence
who were saying,

904
00:51:10,067 --> 00:51:11,501
"But did he beat you?"

905
00:51:11,601 --> 00:51:13,670
"No, he told me
he's going to kill me."

906
00:51:13,770 --> 00:51:14,905
"But, honey,
he's just young."

907
00:51:15,005 --> 00:51:16,206
I mean, that's what
everybody was telling me.

908
00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:17,908
"He's--he's a good person,"

909
00:51:18,008 --> 00:51:20,310
and that's what several rabbi
said to me,

910
00:51:20,410 --> 00:51:22,212
"He's a gitte,
he's just young.

911
00:51:22,312 --> 00:51:24,347
"He just has to grow up
a little bit.

912
00:51:24,448 --> 00:51:25,649
"He'll settle down,
and he'll grow up,

913
00:51:25,749 --> 00:51:27,084
and he'll be
a good husband."

914
00:51:27,184 --> 00:51:31,888
♪

915
00:51:34,891 --> 00:51:38,061
I used to think
the only way out is death.

916
00:51:38,161 --> 00:51:40,564
And I used to think, you know
maybe I'll die young,

917
00:51:40,664 --> 00:51:42,332
and that will be my way out.

918
00:51:42,532 --> 00:51:44,234
This is the only way
out of this horrible life

919
00:51:44,334 --> 00:51:45,635
that I've been stuck in.

920
00:51:45,735 --> 00:51:51,675
♪

921
00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:24,941
There's something you need to know about me

922
00:52:25,041 --> 00:52:27,110
before I begin.

923
00:52:27,210 --> 00:52:30,080
I am dead.

924
00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:31,581
And I know what you're thinking.

925
00:52:31,681 --> 00:52:34,851
She doesn't look
particularly dead, right?

926
00:52:34,951 --> 00:52:37,354
Well, you might want
to tell that to my family.

927
00:52:37,454 --> 00:52:40,056
They declared me dead
13 years ago

928
00:52:40,190 --> 00:52:43,160
when I first took steps
to escape the abusive marriage

929
00:52:43,260 --> 00:52:44,828
that they had
arranged for me.

930
00:52:46,897 --> 00:52:51,368
When I was 27, still trapped
in this terrible marriage,

931
00:52:51,468 --> 00:52:53,103
I secretly started
seeing a therapist

932
00:52:53,203 --> 00:52:55,472
from outside of the community
who, for the first time,

933
00:52:55,605 --> 00:52:57,574
explained to me
what domestic violence was,

934
00:52:57,674 --> 00:53:01,311
and also explained to me
that I had legal rights,

935
00:53:01,411 --> 00:53:03,813
that the police would
protect me from this man

936
00:53:03,947 --> 00:53:05,415
even though
he was my husband,

937
00:53:05,482 --> 00:53:06,983
which is something
I hadn't known.

938
00:53:09,052 --> 00:53:12,589
I believe I was the first person
in the orthodox Jewish community

939
00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:14,391
to walk into
the police department

940
00:53:14,491 --> 00:53:17,928
in Lakewood, New Jersey,
and ask for a restraining order.

941
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:24,501
The rabbi actually sent
an orthodox Jewish male attorney

942
00:53:24,601 --> 00:53:27,837
to my house who drove with me
to family court

943
00:53:27,971 --> 00:53:29,706
and had me stand
in front of the judge

944
00:53:29,806 --> 00:53:33,376
and tell the judge that I wanted
to drop the restraining order.

945
00:53:33,476 --> 00:53:35,045
And it was that moment
standing there,

946
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:37,981
and in my head, thinking,
"No, I'm terrified.

947
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:41,218
This man standing next to me
is not my attorney,"

948
00:53:41,318 --> 00:53:43,353
and not being able to
communicate that to the judge

949
00:53:43,453 --> 00:53:45,522
because how could I possibly
explain that to the judge

950
00:53:45,622 --> 00:53:47,958
without putting myself
in further danger?

951
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:48,992
It clicked in my head

952
00:53:49,092 --> 00:53:52,028
that there is not
a single person in the world

953
00:53:52,128 --> 00:53:54,364
who is on my side
who's going to help me.

954
00:53:57,801 --> 00:54:00,270
[Traffic Noises]

955
00:54:00,370 --> 00:54:02,105
NINA: Something was wrong,
and I didn't know what it was

956
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,373
I couldn't put
my finger on it.

957
00:54:03,473 --> 00:54:04,708
I couldn't identify it.

958
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,144
It finally got to the point
where even he noticed.

959
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,013
He's like, "There's
something wrong with Nina,"

960
00:54:10,113 --> 00:54:12,249
and went to my father and said,
"There's something wrong.

961
00:54:12,349 --> 00:54:14,818
"She's not cleaning the house
like she used to.

962
00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:17,053
"She's not wanting to cook
like she used to.

963
00:54:17,153 --> 00:54:19,589
"She never wants to go out
and do anything.

964
00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,825
"She never wants me.

965
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,260
What do we do?"

966
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,196
"Oh, her mother
went through this.

967
00:54:26,329 --> 00:54:28,531
We--she needs to see
a counselor."

968
00:54:30,500 --> 00:54:32,068
That was my turning point.

969
00:54:34,070 --> 00:54:37,207
And that's when I first
started recognizing

970
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:41,011
that what I'd been dealing with
all of these years was,

971
00:54:41,144 --> 00:54:44,381
you know, emotional
and verbal and sexual abuse.

972
00:54:47,651 --> 00:54:49,119
She was the first person
that explained to me

973
00:54:49,219 --> 00:54:51,054
what a bounded choice is

974
00:54:51,121 --> 00:54:53,790
and how you can be presented
with these two choices,

975
00:54:53,923 --> 00:54:55,759
but really,
there's only one

976
00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,395
that is a feasible choice
to take.

977
00:55:00,030 --> 00:55:02,732
You're at the edge of a cliff
and they say,

978
00:55:02,866 --> 00:55:06,803
"Well, your choice is
you can jump off and die,

979
00:55:06,903 --> 00:55:08,605
or you can come back
to safety."

980
00:55:10,473 --> 00:55:15,612
And I could feel this terror
building up inside of me.

981
00:55:15,745 --> 00:55:18,581
And I sat there,
and I braced myself.

982
00:55:18,715 --> 00:55:21,351
This was definitely forced.

983
00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:23,086
I did not want this.

984
00:55:23,219 --> 00:55:24,220
I do not want this.

985
00:55:24,354 --> 00:55:25,288
This is not my life.

986
00:55:25,422 --> 00:55:27,190
I did not choose this.

987
00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:28,992
I cannot stay here.

988
00:55:31,594 --> 00:55:32,696
SARA:
I still felt trapped,

989
00:55:32,829 --> 00:55:35,165
even though I was
going to school

990
00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:37,067
and even though I did have
visions and goals

991
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,569
for the future.

992
00:55:39,669 --> 00:55:42,439
I started to understand that
I didn't want to be with him.

993
00:55:46,376 --> 00:55:49,746
The Group really expressed
a lot of dismay.

994
00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:50,980
"Why do you need
to go to school?"

995
00:55:51,081 --> 00:55:52,782
Like, "You don't need
to do that.

996
00:55:52,882 --> 00:55:54,784
You're--you're a mom now,"
you know?

997
00:55:54,884 --> 00:55:56,453
"You should be at home
with your daughter

998
00:55:56,553 --> 00:55:58,021
and taking care
of your husband."

999
00:56:00,790 --> 00:56:03,560
That was kind of when I started
really understanding

1000
00:56:03,660 --> 00:56:06,863
that I didn't have to listen
to them if I didn't want to.

1001
00:56:09,833 --> 00:56:10,633
I was like,
"You know what?

1002
00:56:10,734 --> 00:56:12,736
"I don't need to do this
anymore.

1003
00:56:12,836 --> 00:56:15,739
I'm--I'm done, you know,
I'm just done."

1004
00:56:17,540 --> 00:56:20,577
- The dissociative state
pretty much disappeared,

1005
00:56:20,677 --> 00:56:23,646
and all the little voices
in my head went away,

1006
00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:26,750
and I could just hear
one voice.

1007
00:56:26,850 --> 00:56:31,988
♪

1008
00:56:38,495 --> 00:56:41,164
[Dog Barking]

1009
00:56:41,264 --> 00:56:42,365
FRAIDY: I couldn't
leave overnight.

1010
00:56:42,499 --> 00:56:45,835
I took five years
where I not only saved up cash,

1011
00:56:45,935 --> 00:56:49,639
but also,
I went online,

1012
00:56:49,773 --> 00:56:51,641
and I did a search
for a college in New Jersey

1013
00:56:51,741 --> 00:56:54,978
and found a school
called Rutgers University

1014
00:56:55,178 --> 00:56:56,546
that seemed
like a good school,

1015
00:56:56,646 --> 00:56:58,848
and submitted my application
and went.

1016
00:57:00,650 --> 00:57:02,719
SARA: The plan was that
he was going to take the kids

1017
00:57:02,819 --> 00:57:04,954
back to his parents' house
for a while,

1018
00:57:05,054 --> 00:57:07,757
while I got myself together.

1019
00:57:07,824 --> 00:57:10,460
I didn't know my rights
as far as divorce goes

1020
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:11,828
in the State of California.

1021
00:57:11,928 --> 00:57:16,065
I was still a kid,
I was 22 or 23 at the time,

1022
00:57:16,132 --> 00:57:18,935
so I didn't know
too much about life.

1023
00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:24,274
NINA: I knew that I had
to be very, very careful

1024
00:57:24,474 --> 00:57:26,976
and that this was going to take
some time and some planning.

1025
00:57:28,778 --> 00:57:30,113
And then to see
that growing desperation

1026
00:57:30,246 --> 00:57:31,748
where you're being deceived,
you know,

1027
00:57:31,881 --> 00:57:33,950
allowing the devil
to take control,

1028
00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:35,785
"You're not following
God's will."

1029
00:57:37,220 --> 00:57:39,789
He just thought I was being
more and more distant.

1030
00:57:39,956 --> 00:57:43,126
So, he started, like, canceling
my appointments last minute,

1031
00:57:43,293 --> 00:57:46,596
stopped, you know, communicating
himself with my counselor;

1032
00:57:46,663 --> 00:57:49,098
started saying, "Well, you're
not going to see her anymore.

1033
00:57:49,232 --> 00:57:51,701
"Instead, I want you
to see my pastor.

1034
00:57:51,835 --> 00:57:53,136
"And your father
and the pastor and I,

1035
00:57:53,269 --> 00:57:54,971
we're going to
figure it out for you."

1036
00:57:58,107 --> 00:58:02,979
And you start to respond
to a person with open eyes

1037
00:58:03,112 --> 00:58:05,281
and to realize how much
of the communication had been--

1038
00:58:05,415 --> 00:58:09,953
was to get me confused,
to get me to doubt myself.

1039
00:58:10,086 --> 00:58:11,621
And I wasn't doubting
myself anymore,

1040
00:58:11,754 --> 00:58:13,223
and I was standing up
for myself.

1041
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:19,429
- I think his thought process
was that, you know,

1042
00:58:19,562 --> 00:58:22,365
she's just going to completely
fail and come running back.

1043
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:23,333
But that didn't happen.

1044
00:58:23,466 --> 00:58:25,435
I went to work.

1045
00:58:25,568 --> 00:58:27,203
I rented a house
that summer.

1046
00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:30,540
And I got the kids
enrolled in school,

1047
00:58:30,673 --> 00:58:32,242
and that's when
I filed for divorce.

1048
00:58:36,779 --> 00:58:37,847
FRAIDY:
On Shabbos morning,

1049
00:58:37,981 --> 00:58:39,849
he would go to shul,
to synagogue,

1050
00:58:39,983 --> 00:58:42,252
and he would get drunk,

1051
00:58:42,318 --> 00:58:44,721
and he would come home
drunk, in a rage,

1052
00:58:44,854 --> 00:58:47,223
and he's pounding
on the door.

1053
00:58:47,323 --> 00:58:48,758
I'm sitting on the floor
of my daughter's room.

1054
00:58:48,892 --> 00:58:50,593
I had my arms
around my daughters.

1055
00:58:52,529 --> 00:58:54,564
Suddenly, I just said,
"Why am--why am I taking this

1056
00:58:54,697 --> 00:58:57,367
"Why am I sitting on the floor
in a corner here, cowering?

1057
00:58:57,467 --> 00:58:58,201
This is ridiculous."

1058
00:58:58,334 --> 00:59:00,703
So, I stood up,
and I--and I yelled--

1059
00:59:00,837 --> 00:59:02,338
I opened the door,
and I said to him,

1060
00:59:02,438 --> 00:59:06,376
"You have to stop screaming,
stop cursing, stop threatening.

1061
00:59:06,509 --> 00:59:08,978
And if you don't," I told him,
"I'm going to take the kids,

1062
00:59:09,045 --> 00:59:10,179
"and I don't care
that it's Shabbos,

1063
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:13,283
we're getting in a car,
and we're leaving."

1064
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:16,586
If you openly violate the law
of the Sabbath in public,

1065
00:59:16,653 --> 00:59:18,955
like driving in a car
where everybody can see you,

1066
00:59:19,055 --> 00:59:20,890
that's punishable
by death.

1067
00:59:20,990 --> 00:59:22,191
And he didn't believe me.

1068
00:59:22,292 --> 00:59:24,861
So, he continued screaming
and cursing and threatening.

1069
00:59:24,961 --> 00:59:26,696
So, I said, "Kids,
get in the car, we're going."

1070
00:59:31,267 --> 00:59:34,704
NINA: It took about six weeks
to get everything ready.

1071
00:59:35,171 --> 00:59:38,608
And in between that time,
I was able to talk to a lawye

1072
00:59:38,741 --> 00:59:40,643
and get a restraining order,

1073
00:59:40,743 --> 00:59:46,249
met with a local women's shelter
to make a safety plan to leave.

1074
00:59:46,382 --> 00:59:49,786
That was just a really
nerve-wracking several hours.

1075
00:59:49,919 --> 00:59:52,455
I had applied
for a restraining order,

1076
00:59:52,555 --> 00:59:56,626
and it had gotten approved
but had not been served yet.

1077
00:59:56,759 --> 00:59:59,362
I'd kind of left a note
that just said we had gone

1078
00:59:59,462 --> 01:00:00,563
and that I was done,

1079
01:00:00,663 --> 01:00:02,765
and that I was not going to b
manipulated and controlled

1080
01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:04,167
and I was going to be free,

1081
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:05,935
and that I had left
with the children

1082
01:00:06,035 --> 01:00:07,604
and that we were going
somewhere safe.

1083
01:00:07,704 --> 01:00:13,042
♪

1084
01:00:13,142 --> 01:00:16,045
FRAIDY:
We drove to the mall.

1085
01:00:16,145 --> 01:00:18,314
And my kids had watched
only one movie

1086
01:00:18,414 --> 01:00:20,116
in their whole lives
at that time.

1087
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:25,088
Later when, you know,
Sabbath was already over,

1088
01:00:25,188 --> 01:00:26,856
I figured, you know,
he's had enough time

1089
01:00:26,956 --> 01:00:30,126
to process what I just did
and to calm down, I hope.

1090
01:00:30,226 --> 01:00:32,729
Figured I'll go back home and,
you know, see what's going on.

1091
01:00:32,929 --> 01:00:35,231
I came back home,
and he was gone.

1092
01:00:35,331 --> 01:00:38,401
And so, while he was gone,
I changed the locks.

1093
01:00:38,501 --> 01:00:42,005
And then when he came back,
you know, he rang the bell,

1094
01:00:42,105 --> 01:00:43,940
"Honey, I'm home."

1095
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,408
And I said to him,

1096
01:00:45,508 --> 01:00:48,011
"I have tasted life without you,
and it is sweet.

1097
01:00:48,111 --> 01:00:49,445
You're not coming back."

1098
01:00:49,545 --> 01:00:51,147
And that was it.

1099
01:00:51,247 --> 01:00:53,883
I filed for divorce
soon thereafter.

1100
01:00:53,983 --> 01:00:58,454
[Woman Vocalizing]

1101
01:01:03,226 --> 01:01:06,029
[Birds Chirping]

1102
01:01:06,129 --> 01:01:08,998
[Children Chattering]

1103
01:01:16,639 --> 01:01:18,875
NINA: Finding an attorney
that was willing to work with me

1104
01:01:18,975 --> 01:01:20,276
and said, you know,

1105
01:01:20,443 --> 01:01:24,280
"This really sounds like you
have grounds for an annulment.

1106
01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:27,717
"This is going it be
a really steep, uphill battle

1107
01:01:27,784 --> 01:01:32,321
There's no guarantees that
this is even going to happen.

1108
01:01:32,388 --> 01:01:36,359
An annulment hadn't really been
done before, not a civil one,

1109
01:01:36,426 --> 01:01:39,328
and particularly
for a forced marriage.

1110
01:01:41,497 --> 01:01:44,634
There was no statutes,
no case law

1111
01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:46,069
that they could go by.

1112
01:01:46,169 --> 01:01:48,204
So, they would have
to kind of keep defaulting

1113
01:01:48,304 --> 01:01:50,406
to what they would do
in a divorce,

1114
01:01:50,506 --> 01:01:54,577
which really, you know, doesn't
help a forced-marriage victim,

1115
01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:57,046
somebody that's trying
to get out of this.

1116
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:01,484
The judge did, in fact,

1117
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:04,954
see that there was evidence
to grant an annulment

1118
01:02:05,021 --> 01:02:07,657
and that there was
grounds for it.

1119
01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:09,325
My attorney was like--
had this elated moment

1120
01:02:09,425 --> 01:02:11,327
because he--he knew
what the process was,

1121
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:13,796
and I was still like hesitant
to believe in it.

1122
01:02:13,863 --> 01:02:14,964
And he was like,
"We're going to get it.

1123
01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:16,165
"Nina,
we're going to get it.

1124
01:02:16,566 --> 01:02:18,468
You know, you're going
to get the annulment."

1125
01:02:20,436 --> 01:02:23,473
Now that this case
is on the record,

1126
01:02:23,573 --> 01:02:27,110
is on the books, other people
can reference this case.

1127
01:02:27,210 --> 01:02:30,079
There is now essentially,
like, case law

1128
01:02:30,179 --> 01:02:32,949
because, you know--
because of this win.

1129
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,326
SARA: I really wish
I had somebody

1130
01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:46,462
that knew what they were doing,
that could have advised me

1131
01:02:46,562 --> 01:02:48,898
what my rights were
at that point.

1132
01:02:48,998 --> 01:02:50,133
And I thought for sure, like,

1133
01:02:50,199 --> 01:02:51,300
somebody would've
said something like,

1134
01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:55,638
"Oh, you were 15
when you got married, so..."

1135
01:02:55,772 --> 01:03:00,910
I thought maybe there
would've been some easy way out.

1136
01:03:01,043 --> 01:03:02,445
But there wasn't;
it was really hard.

1137
01:03:02,578 --> 01:03:04,781
It took me three years
to get divorced.

1138
01:03:04,881 --> 01:03:07,316
[Traffic Sounds]

1139
01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:11,053
My mom was a significant
emotional support

1140
01:03:11,187 --> 01:03:16,359
when I was trying
to rebuild my life.

1141
01:03:16,492 --> 01:03:17,326
She was like,
"You know what?

1142
01:03:17,426 --> 01:03:18,895
"I'll help you
with the kids.

1143
01:03:19,095 --> 01:03:20,062
"Go back to school.

1144
01:03:20,196 --> 01:03:21,664
"Do what you need to do.

1145
01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:23,099
I'm here for you;
I'm your mother."

1146
01:03:24,967 --> 01:03:28,204
Not everybody is as lucky and
not everybody has that support.

1147
01:03:28,337 --> 01:03:31,307
And that's--that's significant
because that means

1148
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,410
that they're
potentially trapped

1149
01:03:34,544 --> 01:03:37,079
in marriages that they feel
they can never escape.

1150
01:03:41,384 --> 01:03:43,886
I started getting involved
in advocacy

1151
01:03:44,020 --> 01:03:47,323
about a year and a half ago.

1152
01:03:47,390 --> 01:03:49,425
As I did my research,
I found out that, yes, in fact,

1153
01:03:49,525 --> 01:03:51,761
it is okay for minors
to get married in this state,

1154
01:03:51,861 --> 01:03:53,429
and there is no age limit.

1155
01:03:56,199 --> 01:04:00,670
I feel really strongly
that marriage should be

1156
01:04:00,803 --> 01:04:02,104
for two consenting adults

1157
01:04:02,205 --> 01:04:04,941
who actually really want
to get married--ha-ha--

1158
01:04:05,041 --> 01:04:07,176
for all the right reasons.

1159
01:04:07,310 --> 01:04:09,111
There shouldn't be
any coercion involved.

1160
01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:13,850
And coercion is--
easily happens with children,

1161
01:04:14,016 --> 01:04:15,451
because they are children.

1162
01:04:15,551 --> 01:04:17,420
And there needs to be
more protections out there,

1163
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,388
and I--I won't stop
talking about it

1164
01:04:19,488 --> 01:04:21,591
until, you know,
something changes.

1165
01:04:30,633 --> 01:04:32,401
FRAIDY: You know,
it was this really terrifying

1166
01:04:32,501 --> 01:04:33,703
and exhilarating journey,

1167
01:04:33,803 --> 01:04:36,205
discovering the whole
big outside world

1168
01:04:36,305 --> 01:04:38,341
beyond the insular community
where I had been raised.

1169
01:04:38,441 --> 01:04:40,543
I mean, I didn't know
the first thing about the world.

1170
01:04:40,643 --> 01:04:43,112
I didn't know
who The Beatles were,

1171
01:04:43,179 --> 01:04:45,615
didn't know
what the Muppets were,

1172
01:04:45,748 --> 01:04:51,687
and then also recovering from
the trauma and rebuilding life.

1173
01:04:54,624 --> 01:04:56,359
Suddenly being alone
in the world

1174
01:04:56,492 --> 01:04:58,327
with just two daughters
relying on me

1175
01:04:58,461 --> 01:05:04,433
was--was certainly scary for
a long time, maybe still scary.

1176
01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,505
About six years ago,
I got to the point

1177
01:05:09,639 --> 01:05:12,909
where I was able to buy
a small house for myself

1178
01:05:13,042 --> 01:05:15,711
and my two daughters,
a little Cape Cod

1179
01:05:15,845 --> 01:05:20,650
that we very ambitiously call
the Pa

1180
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:22,351
I'm fairly certain
I'm the only woman

1181
01:05:22,451 --> 01:05:25,588
in the history of my family
ever to buy her own home.

1182
01:05:25,721 --> 01:05:26,889
[Footsteps]

1183
01:05:26,989 --> 01:05:28,624
I do--I do love to run.

1184
01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:31,527
I'm a runner,
so that's how I keep sane.

1185
01:05:31,661 --> 01:05:35,064
And it's not always easy work
here at Unchained at Last,

1186
01:05:35,197 --> 01:05:36,465
as you can imagine.

1187
01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:39,735
There are a lot of sad stories,
a lot of sad stories,

1188
01:05:39,869 --> 01:05:42,238
and especially the children
who call and ask for help

1189
01:05:42,371 --> 01:05:45,141
and I'm unable to help them.

1190
01:05:45,241 --> 01:05:46,509
That really weighs on me.

1191
01:05:46,575 --> 01:05:50,279
And so, you know, going--
going for a run in the morning,

1192
01:05:50,413 --> 01:05:53,716
a five-mile run
does wonders for the soul.

1193
01:05:53,849 --> 01:05:57,720
[Footsteps]

1194
01:06:00,656 --> 01:06:03,225
- Getting out
and feeling like, okay,

1195
01:06:03,359 --> 01:06:05,728
I've just got to be
a single mom,

1196
01:06:05,861 --> 01:06:09,198
and that's going to be my life,
I'm going to miss, like,

1197
01:06:09,332 --> 01:06:10,933
never being able
to really fall in love

1198
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:13,502
with somebody that I want
to fall in love with.

1199
01:06:15,438 --> 01:06:16,572
When love did find me,

1200
01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:18,407
it kind of caught me
by surprise.

1201
01:06:22,645 --> 01:06:26,482
To make that conscious choice
and to feel like every day

1202
01:06:26,582 --> 01:06:27,950
I have a choice,
you know,

1203
01:06:28,050 --> 01:06:30,619
and every now and then,
he'll ask me, and he'll be like,

1204
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:32,455
"Are you still okay?

1205
01:06:32,555 --> 01:06:33,689
"Is this still what you want?

1206
01:06:33,789 --> 01:06:38,027
"Because if it's not,
you can totally walk away,

1207
01:06:38,127 --> 01:06:40,229
"or we can go back
to being friends,

1208
01:06:40,329 --> 01:06:42,031
and I'll still
be here for you."

1209
01:06:47,436 --> 01:06:49,538
SARA:
My kind of go-to zen place

1210
01:06:49,705 --> 01:06:51,674
is just being in the kitchen,

1211
01:06:51,774 --> 01:06:54,510
making food for people
who I really love

1212
01:06:54,610 --> 01:06:56,812
and new friends
and old friends.

1213
01:06:56,912 --> 01:07:01,083
And I just--I love
getting together around a meal.

1214
01:07:01,183 --> 01:07:02,418
Trying to see
how many people

1215
01:07:02,518 --> 01:07:04,887
are coming to my wedding
in October,

1216
01:07:04,987 --> 01:07:08,824
so I have some RSVPs here.

1217
01:07:08,924 --> 01:07:10,760
We've had a lot of time
to plan this wedding.

1218
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:14,230
We really kind of
set the date out pretty far

1219
01:07:14,296 --> 01:07:18,200
because we wanted
to just make it special

1220
01:07:18,334 --> 01:07:19,668
and make it really count.

1221
01:07:19,769 --> 01:07:24,407
So... much different--
ha-ha-ha--

1222
01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:25,674
than the first go around.

1223
01:07:25,808 --> 01:07:33,082
♪

1224
01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:36,886
[Flag Flapping]

1225
01:07:37,019 --> 01:07:40,256
[Traffic Sounds]

1226
01:07:44,427 --> 01:07:46,062
KEN BOULDEN: I recall specifically

1227
01:07:46,195 --> 01:07:49,999
a young girl who was terrified, literally scared to death.

1228
01:07:50,132 --> 01:07:51,400
She could hardly speak.

1229
01:07:51,534 --> 01:07:54,136
She was 14 years old.

1230
01:07:54,270 --> 01:07:55,871
Her mother was coming in to sign

1231
01:07:56,005 --> 01:07:58,707
to give permission for her to be married,

1232
01:07:58,774 --> 01:08:04,680
and she was there with a male who was 27 years old.

1233
01:08:04,780 --> 01:08:07,883
♪

1234
01:08:11,387 --> 01:08:13,289
[Crowd Chanting]
End child marriage now.

1235
01:08:13,389 --> 01:08:15,991
Ask us
and we'll tell you how!

1236
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:20,529
FRAIDY: We have to pass
legislation in all 50 states.

1237
01:08:20,629 --> 01:08:22,998
Good thing I--I don't need
to sleep a lot.

1238
01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:24,300
Here's the problem:

1239
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:26,535
When a woman over age 18
reaches out,

1240
01:08:26,635 --> 01:08:28,204
if she's facing
a forced marriage

1241
01:08:28,304 --> 01:08:29,805
or already in
a forced marriage,

1242
01:08:29,905 --> 01:08:32,208
we're typically
able to help her.

1243
01:08:32,308 --> 01:08:34,810
Well, if she is
under the age of 18,

1244
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,379
if she leaves home,
she's considered a runaway.

1245
01:08:37,513 --> 01:08:39,381
The police will return her
to her home.

1246
01:08:39,515 --> 01:08:42,118
They might charge us criminally
at Unchained at Last

1247
01:08:42,251 --> 01:08:43,185
for helping.

1248
01:08:43,285 --> 01:08:44,487
If we get her
to a shelter,

1249
01:08:44,620 --> 01:08:46,422
shelters will turn
her away typically.

1250
01:08:46,555 --> 01:08:49,725
They will not take in somebody
under the age of 18.

1251
01:08:49,859 --> 01:08:52,261
This isn't happening only in
the community where I grew up.

1252
01:08:52,394 --> 01:08:55,564
This is--this is
a gender-violence issue.

1253
01:08:55,698 --> 01:08:58,467
Forced marriage is happening
to women and girls

1254
01:08:58,534 --> 01:09:01,637
in so many different communities

1255
01:09:01,770 --> 01:09:05,608
and cultures and religions
and socioeconomic levels.

1256
01:09:09,211 --> 01:09:10,146
SARA:
My name is Sara,

1257
01:09:10,279 --> 01:09:12,148
and I'm a child marriage survivor.

1258
01:09:12,281 --> 01:09:14,517
I'm here in support of SB273.

1259
01:09:15,651 --> 01:09:17,453
There is no minimum age
for marriage

1260
01:09:17,586 --> 01:09:18,821
in the State of California.

1261
01:09:20,022 --> 01:09:20,756
JENNIFER McCLELLAN:
I am pleased to speak today

1262
01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:23,492
in strong support
of House Bill 799

1263
01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:27,029
to end marriage under age 18
in Maryland.

1264
01:09:27,163 --> 01:09:28,831
JEANNE:
Until about 2011,

1265
01:09:28,964 --> 01:09:30,533
forced marriage
in the United States

1266
01:09:30,633 --> 01:09:32,568
was a hidden problem.

1267
01:09:32,668 --> 01:09:36,205
It was one that
we are only still seeing

1268
01:09:36,305 --> 01:09:39,608
the tip of the iceberg in terms
of what's been published,

1269
01:09:39,708 --> 01:09:42,578
researched, studied,
and made known.

1270
01:09:42,678 --> 01:09:45,014
FRAIDY: We are here
to send a strong message

1271
01:09:45,114 --> 01:09:48,017
to legislators
and to the public

1272
01:09:48,117 --> 01:09:51,487
that we are not going to stand
for child forced marriage.

1273
01:09:51,587 --> 01:09:52,655
- The fact that
child marriage

1274
01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:54,890
is still legal
in this country,

1275
01:09:54,990 --> 01:09:56,158
I think,
should say to all of us

1276
01:09:56,258 --> 01:09:58,961
we still have serious work
to do here at home,

1277
01:09:59,061 --> 01:10:01,797
but also really undermines
our credibility, then,

1278
01:10:01,964 --> 01:10:04,533
as an advocate
on the world stage.

1279
01:10:04,633 --> 01:10:05,868
>> We can do this,

1280
01:10:05,968 --> 01:10:08,103
by finally ending early forced child marriage,

1281
01:10:08,204 --> 01:10:10,839
an unjust, unfair, and archaic practice

1282
01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:13,509
that is severely affecting the very core of our nation,

1283
01:10:13,609 --> 01:10:15,344
the children of America.

1284
01:10:17,146 --> 01:10:20,282
♪

1285
01:10:32,161 --> 01:10:35,798
CASEY SWEGMAN: It takes a lot
of understanding of abuse

1286
01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:40,035
and dynamics and family pressure
to really understand

1287
01:10:40,135 --> 01:10:43,706
what it can mean
to be forced into marriage,

1288
01:10:43,872 --> 01:10:45,708
even if there's no gun
to your head.

1289
01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:05,728
JEANNE: The strength,
the heartbeat of this movemen

1290
01:11:05,828 --> 01:11:08,230
to end forced and child marriage
in the United States

1291
01:11:08,330 --> 01:11:11,600
really comes from
those incredible survivors

1292
01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:13,736
who stepped forward
to help lead the movement,

1293
01:11:13,836 --> 01:11:16,138
to tell their stories,
to drive for a change,

1294
01:11:16,238 --> 01:11:18,340
to hold policy makers
accountable.

1295
01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:23,379
- I do see hope
for a future

1296
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:26,282
where there's recognition
and acknowledgment

1297
01:11:26,382 --> 01:11:28,751
of forced marriage,
and understanding

1298
01:11:28,851 --> 01:11:31,620
that sometimes what people
call arranged marriage

1299
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:34,823
is actually a forced marriage.

1300
01:11:34,923 --> 01:11:36,692
I see a future

1301
01:11:36,792 --> 01:11:40,329
where there's actually
legislation and policy in place

1302
01:11:40,429 --> 01:11:43,432
to--to prevent
what happened to me

1303
01:11:43,532 --> 01:11:44,833
from happening to others,

1304
01:11:44,933 --> 01:11:49,071
and to help other women
and girls who are trapped

1305
01:11:49,171 --> 01:11:50,339
where I was once trapped.

1306
01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:54,410
♪

1307
01:11:59,748 --> 01:12:05,988
[Women Vocalizing]

1308
01:12:07,156 --> 01:12:08,991
CAPTION TECHNOLOGIES INC.
www.captiontech.com

1309
01:12:27,042 --> 01:12:33,916
♪

1310
01:12:59,408 --> 01:13:04,413
[Women Vocalizing]

1311
01:13:29,171 --> 01:13:35,110
♪

1312
01:14:05,007 --> 01:14:11,013
♪

1313
01:14:35,471 --> 01:14:41,543
♪

1314
01:15:07,936 --> 01:15:14,209
♪

1315
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:35,764
[Women Vocalizing]