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Yeah.
I'm writing all this down.
I don't think I can ask them now because it's Friday,
and they don't work on weekends.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, you know, actually, I know some Photoshop.
Let me see if I can-
Yeah, maybe I can cut the logos at the end.
I'm so sorry, I have another call.
Can I,
yeah, I'll keep you updated with this.
Thanks.
Hey!
How's Miami?
Did you give your talk yet?
Yeah, I'm home.
Yeah, I know.
They said it's gonna be pretty bad, I'm kinda scared.
I guess it's gonna be one of those summer storms.
Who?
Yeah, you might've mentioned him.
Wait, is this the guy that makes gay porn?
Right, sorry.
Cinema verite.
I'm not making fun of him, I swear.
Wait, he's here?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure, he can stay in your room.
I mean, I'm practically chained to my desk
doing work anyway, so, I'll be here.
Sure.
Yeah, no worries.
It'll be fun.
Marcos?
Hi.
Hi, hola.
Hey.
I'm Alan.
I'm Marcos, hi.
That's a Spanish thing we do, we-
Two kisses, right.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Can I get you anything?
Um, water.
- Sure. - Please, thank you.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Did you paint these?
Yeah, sort of.
Did you paint them or not?
Yes, I did.
They're really cool.
Thank you.
I like Annie Hall.
Annie Hull?
Annie Hall.
My accent's funny, sorry.
I kinda like Annie Hull.
I like this one.
Oh, yeah.
- That's hot. - Thanks.
Yeah, it's great.
Claire says you guys know each other from college?
College, yeah, yeah.
She always got super drunk,
and I used to hold her head while she vomited.
It was really funny, and then she'd let me borrow the notes.
That was really cool.
You know, we should call her at some point.
She seemed really excited about this.
I mean not in a weird way,
just two gay guys in one house.
Probably thinks we're gonna have
a "Queer Eye" marathon or something.
Unless, of course, you're not gay.
Why would I not be gay?
Well, you never said you were, so.
Clara told you that I was gay?
No.
Yeah, she did, but she didn't say much else.
She said you make movies.
Yeah, it's a doc.
A documentary.
The one you're shooting, or sorry,
the one you're screening rather, in San Francisco?
The one that I'm screening in San Francisco, yeah.
Yeah.
What's it about?
It's about gay sex and dicks.
- Oh, okay. - Yeah.
And you shot it yourself with a camera and all?
Big dicks.
No, no, we used the shoot for this one.
Duh.
Yeah, no, it's about,
I dated a few men, and then I shot some stuff
and cut it all together, and now it's a doc.
It sounds intense.
It's all right.
What did they think?
Who?
These men.
Have they seen it?
Um, no.
But they will see it at some point.
Like at the movies, in theaters?
Yeah, like at the movies in theaters.
Like now we play at a festival,
and then you play at another one,
and eventually they'll see it.
Yeah, they will see it.
I've never been in a movie.
Claire wants me to tell you
that she left in a bit of a hurry,
so her room might be a little messy.
There it is.
So this storm, huh?
I'm a little worried.
Are you scared?
Not really, I mean it's sunny now, so it'll be fine.
I kinda really want to take a nap,
if you don't mind.
Sure.
It must be siesta time there, right?
Yeah.
And can I get the Wi-Fi password?
Of course, I'll grab it for you.
It's on the router,
downstairs.
Violent winds, driving rain, killer waves.
These are the hallmarks of a hurricane.
Also called cyclones or typhoons,
hurricanes are giant storms
prowling the world's tropical seas.
Hurricanes are the most violent-
Shit.
Well, yeah, we could make them smaller,
but I just don't know how to make them transparent
in over image.
We'd need the guys who edited the video for that.
Well, yeah, I can also do that,
but it's already the end of the day and,
yeah, I know.
I know, and the video did make the deadline,
I just wasn't expecting we'd have problems with this.
Yeah, no, I'll send him an email now,
maybe they haven't left the office,
but I don't know that they're gonna work on the weekend.
Sure, I'll solve this.
Yep, somehow.
Okay.
Morning.
Hi.
How much did I sleep?
Not too much.
I'm so jet-lagged.
Yeah, I can tell.
Where were you doing?
Oh, working.
What's work?
I work at a startup, it's an app.
An app for...
It's a dating app, for gay men.
Is that Grindr?
No, I wish.
It's called WeTopia.
It's a whole different concept for...
Here, I'll show you.
Okay, so, let's say you're at home wondering
what to do, a Friday night.
Well, not this Friday night 'cause of the storm,
you know, but any other Friday night.
And let's say you decide to go here.
That's the Met?
Actually, it's the MoMA, but yeah, the Met would work too.
So you go, and you place a pin there.
The next version of the app will allow you
to just geotag you, but in this version
you're just gonna place a pin.
And there, in a flash, you can see where the gays are.
And they know who you are or-
Nope.
That's the cool thing about the app.
It's color blind, age blind, anything else blind
because it doesn't really matter.
Hm.
Gay people have to leave the house
living with the burden of a heteronormative world,
but with this app, WeTopia,
you can choose to hang in spaces
where you become the norm.
Well, not you, but your identity.
That's cool.
I'm sorry that you're having a bad day.
You know what?
Fuck them.
You know, you should take a break.
Like stalk someone on Instagram maybe, or something.
I need to take a shower.
Sure.
Okay, so, there should be soap in here,
use whatever you need,
and you got your towel, that's good.
The water pressure is weird,
so you'll have to let it run smoothly at first
and then it'll be interrupted,
and then it'll flow smoothly again,
and then you can take your shower.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'll let you shower.
Shit, sorry, I did it again.
I'm just gonna leave you.
Here.
Hey. - Hi.
How was the shower?
It was good.
Look.
About before,
I'm so, so, so sorry.
I just don't know what happened.
I think you kissed me.
I did.
And I'm so sorry that I did.
I think I'm just a little stressed.
Tense.
Anxious.
Is that Zizek?
Oh, this?
Yeah, that's Zizek.
That's kinda cool.
Thanks.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to be sorry, it's all good.
And you're a really good kisser.
Okay, well, thank you.
But see, the thing is, that's just not like me, okay?
That's not who I am.
- Look, it's all good. - Yeah, for you.
I mean,
maybe it is good for you, it clearly is all good for you.
Right.
Yeah, I get it, 'cause I'm from Spain,
I'm a Spaniard, that's what Spaniards do.
One does not simply go and kiss a stranger like that.
Oh, you guys wait until the third date.
Okay, you can stop humiliating me,
I already feel ashamed enough.
Look, it's good, seriously.
Don't worry about it.
You should just-
Open the door.
Hi, honey.
Hi!
I thought you said you weren't coming.
Oh, I wasn't, because I thought the storm
was gonna hit way sooner, but then, I don't know,
I thought maybe it's a sign.
And after all, it's her 80th birthday,
so I have to have this time.
Is he here?
Yeah.
The guy that makes gay porn?
It's a doc, actually.
- Hey. - Hi!
Hi.
- I'm Tristan. - Marcos.
Hi, how are you?
Hi, Mark.
- Marcos. - Marcos.
Oh.
I feel bad.
I felt bad leaving this little nugget here all alone.
But, you know, hey, I think it's kind of exciting.
It's like a big storm to clean New York.
And after this it's autumn, and I don't know,
I feel like there's something kinda cosmic about this rain.
Yeah, totally.
The tie's in my room, upstairs.
Oh, I'll wait here.
Thanks, babe.
So,
Alan says you make movies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.
Yeah.
I'm going to this family dinner
and I needed this tie,
but the last time I wore it I slept here, so.
So you guys are together, yeah?
Uh, two years now.
Shocking, I know.
Yeah.
I kind of love him a lot.
Are you hungry?
You know,
yeah, actually, yeah, I'm really hungry.
Say no more.
Where is he?
Do you like butter, Marcos?
I love butter, yeah.
Babe, do you want a toast?
Yeah, sure.
Buttering for everyone!
So, Mark, tell us about your movies.
My movie, one.
It's only one movie.
It's a documentary, actually.
And yeah, that's the one that I'm screening
in San Francisco.
Is there gonna be like a red carpet?
No, I don't think,
actually, yeah, maybe there is a red carpet, yeah.
Are you gonna be famous?
I don't think so, no.
Oh my God, I can't believe
I'm buttering toast for someone
who is about to become famous.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Mm.
It's good.
Thanks.
Have so much fun tonight, okay?
I will be thinking of you all the time.
You be safe tonight, okay?
Get there before the storm hits.
Bye, Marcos!
It was so nice to meet you!
Bye!
Love you.
Love you too.
He's hot.
I'm really sorry.
Don't be.
I should've,
I should've said something,
or I shouldn't have done what I did before.
I feel like I led you into something.
No, it's all good.
You didn't lead me into anything.
Are you mad?
- I'm not mad. - You're mad.
I'm not mad.
But if you want someone to be mad,
maybe you should tell him.
Oh boy.
So, you've never cheated on him?
No, never.
Thanks.
Once, maybe.
What do you mean maybe?
Well, it was way back before
we were really dating or anything,
except it had been about four months.
I was at some party and I was talking to some guy,
and I didn't sleep with him or anything,
but all of a sudden we weren't talking anymore,
and I was drunk, so.
You blew him.
No.
You kissed him.
No.
But it did feel a lot like cheating.
Are you a virgin?
Sorry.
You wouldn't get it.
Why wouldn't I get it?
Well, you clearly don't.
Why wouldn't I get it?
I'm just saying that this is what it felt like.
What about you?
What about me?
You know, have you ever cheated on anyone?
No, not really.
I mean, I don't really believe in cheating, so.
What does that mean?
Well, I don't believe in monogamy,
so cheating makes no sense.
You never been in a relationship?
Yeah.
I mean, I've been with men for long periods of time, but...
Like, how long?
The last one, like seven months.
What happened?
I made a movie.
Right, no spoilers.
I don't know.
Monogamy.
I feel like I've yet to meet someone
that can look me in the eyes and say "Monogamy makes sense."
So, how did you guys meet?
Oh, you know...
Dancing.
We met and danced-
Dancing, where?
At a bar.
What bar?
Grindr.
Classy.
The truth is, I was going through a harsh breakup,
and that night I felt sort of needy,
like I needed to be-
To be fucked.
Validated.
So I went on Grindr and I met this cute little torso,
and it belonged to this cute little face,
which belonged to cute little Tristan.
And I left the house without douching,
so I didn't end up sleeping with him,
but I did meet up with him the next morning.
Wait, what?
The next morning?
You didn't sleep with him because of what?
Oh, I hadn't douched.
You hadn't douched?
Well, couldn't you like not have sex with him,
or could you just blow him, or I don't know,
can you top him?
Oh, I don't top.
You don't top?
No, I tried, it didn't work out.
Well yeah, you try it once and it doesn't work out,
and then you do it more and then it's great.
It's just not my thing, I guess.
Is your movie about the seven month one?
Yeah, amongst many others.
Has he seen it?
No.
You don't want him to or-
No, it just hasn't happened.
You miss that guy.
No, I don't miss that guy.
"No, I don't miss that guy."
So, how come you're not at the party?
At Tristan's grandma's party?
Yeah.
Oh, he's not out.
He's not out?
No.
What?
Nothing.
Shit!
Fuck.
What?
It didn't render.
What didn't render?
The thing I'm working on, it didn't render.
Well, what happened?
A glitch with the files, I guess.
Shit, see, and this is why I shouldn't be doing this.
Well, why are you doing it?
Because the people that do this
don't work on weekends, and neither should I, honestly.
Then just don't do it.
Yeah right, and then next Monday I'm basically fired.
I don't think you would be fired.
If you tell them-
Okay, I just need a minute here.
Hi.
Listen, I'm really sorry about before.
That was rude of me.
It's good, it's good.
It's all good.
I just think I'm a little tense, you know,
because of the whole rain thing.
Yeah, it's all good.
I know.
I know, it's all good.
I just shouldn't be working on a Friday night, you know?
Right.
But it pays the bills.
Yeah.
And you can very easily say "Quit this shit, Alan."
And believe me, I think about it all the time.
Right.
But then again,
I've gotten used to living in this house and-
Totally.
I don't know if I could live anywhere else.
Like, where do you live in Spain?
Me?
I live in a house with five people.
Holy shit.
Anyway, sorry.
That was rude of me.
It's all good.
Were you about to jerk off?
No.
So, what do you think?
It's good, yeah.
It's good.
I think it's a little cheesy,
but it kind of works for this stuff, yeah.
Like?
I just feel like I don't get the point.
The point of-
The point of the app.
Well, gay people constantly have to live
in a world where they're not the norm.
And with this, they get to choose to live
in a less heteronormative world.
I get that part, but then,
I think it's all about changing the conversation, right?
So how do we change the conversation
if we're all having the same one?
You don't.
You can't, we've tried.
As gay people, we constantly have to try,
it's a struggle.
We're doing it all the time with or without an app.
But with this...
Okay, think of it as nuns that live together in a convent.
They find their temple,
and they decide to segregate from the rest of society.
Yeah, but how do you compare a group of nuns
with a group of horny huns?
It's not just about that.
Not to mention that this excludes everyone else
in the LGBTQ community.
The trans community, asexual community.
It's just an app.
Yeah, it's just an app, but in the meantime,
your boyfriend's having a birthday party
that you can't even go.
Why are you so bothered about that?
You don't even do boyfriends.
Because it's just not fair.
It's just not fair, you know?
Okay, sorry.
It's a little hard to take you seriously with that shirt on.
Stop doing that.
Okay, play it again.
God, this kitchen is depressing.
I really never have the time to cook.
I mean, I don't cook, and Claire's a medical student,
so she barely has time to eat anything at all.
I really should've bought something.
Oh, we have this.
What's this?
Noodles.
Instant noodles, like soup.
Do you have potatoes and egg?
We do have eggs.
Uh,
yeah, a couple potatoes.
Gosh, this fridge is empty.
I told you, I never have time to cook.
Well, what do you eat?
I don't know, I guess noodles.
Have you ever had a Spanish omelet?
So, you want to have kids?
Mm-hm.
Two, three maybe.
Except I don't really want to have them
if I can't give them the same privileges
I had growing up.
The same privileges?
Like what?
Well, education, traveling, you know, a stable life.
A stable life?
Yeah, like a house.
That's funny that you call those, like, privileges,
as if they were something extraordinary.
Well they are, kind of.
See, that's one thing I like about Spain,
is that everyone gets public healthcare
and public education.
What's one thing you don't like?
Well, many things.
But that's another cool thing,
that we like to demonstrate a lot
and go to the streets, and that's how we feel heard.
But that doesn't make a difference, does it?
A real difference, I mean?
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, even if it's just to feel heard.
But that's what therapy is for.
You do therapy, right?
No.
Well, what do you do when you're feeling overwhelmed?
I cook, and I fuck.
And sometimes I cook while I fuck.
Well, you seem pretty great at it.
At fuck-
At cooking.
So, what's next?
Next,
Meaning?
Well, that's the Spanish name,
we say it all the time.
It means that you take a plate, and then you put it,
and then the idea is that you spin the omelet
with the plate.
So in a conversation, for example,
when you're in a topic and you change the subject
to your own benefit.
Then you say, hey,
Give me it.
What, you want to do it?
Yeah.
What, you think I can't do,
Yeah, no, I think you're perfectly capable of,
You just have to do it confidently.
Yeah? - I got it.
Like pressing-
I'm gonna do it.
Okay.
What?
I've had cup noodles before.
Shit.
Shit, fuck.
What?
Fuck, I thought I lost it again.
Oh, I'm good.
Hey, you know what we could do?
Let's call Clara.
How about that, yeah?
Hey, do you have an adapter for this?
I don't, but Claire does.
Hold on a minute.
Sorry, she must've taken it with her to Miami.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Do you want to use my phone?
No, where can I get one?
The deli, probably.
I'll go get my jacket.
Wait, what?
I'll go get my jacket, I'll be fine.
You can't leave now, the storm is insane, it's dangerous.
You can't leave now.
Just tell me where to go and-
You can't leave now, not like this.
You'll break your umbrella.
I don't have an umbrella, so-
It's dangerous!
Are you always like this?
If the wind blows too hard, close it.
I don't want to lose my umbrella.
The deli's two blocks that way,
and if they don't have it,
maybe the Food Town is open too.
Thanks.
Can I come in?
You're insane!
Just so you know, you're now my responsibility.
Yeah, I can hear myself,
I know I sound like some sort of tutor or something,
but, fuck, you can't just disappear like that.
I mean, I don't even know what I would do
if something happened to you.
I mean, do you even have insurance while-
Can you please shut up for a second?
Please?
You want me to shut up, I'll fuckin' shut up.
The thing is that,
the thing is that he doesn't want to see it.
What?
The guy that I dated for seven months,
he doesn't want to see the movie,
and he's in it, and I don't know what to do.
And I think I fucked everything up
when I left from Spain without saying goodbye.
You didn't say goodbye?
Okay.
Who broke up with who?
After I told him that I couldn't do monogamy,
then he broke up with me.
I think we just wanted very different things,
so no one broke up with anyone.
It was a mutual agreement.
I'm sorry, I'm lost.
So,
this guy tells you he wants a relationship,
you tell him you don't want one,
put him in your movie, then leave,
and then he refuses to talk to you,
but it all started because of a mutual agreement?
I'm sorry, I'm missing something here.
What's so bad about having a relationship?
Nothing.
There's nothing bad about-
Then what was so bad about him?
That he wanted to commit.
Did he say that?
Yeah.
What if he hadn't said it?
Then he would've been deeply unhappy.
How do you know?
Because he said that.
Okay.
Let's say he didn't say that.
Let's say you never had this conversation.
Let's say you just start being with someone else.
You start spending more and more time with this person.
You start understanding this person's scars,
and fears, and life goals,
you might even share a few life goals with this person.
Let's say you start a journey with this person.
You find inside jokes,
so now you have a lot of fun with this person.
Let's say that you get used to this person's cock,
and you find out that you can get his dick
an inch deeper in your ass
than you ever could get with anyone else.
Or maybe you start opening up,
and start trusting this person in a way
that you've never trusted anyone else,
you let that person in.
And in that process, you start opening doors
to certain parts of yourself,
doors that lead to scarier parts of yourself,
or funny, sadder versions of yourself.
And let's say you wake up,
and it's suddenly three years later,
but you realize you want to spend
many, many more years with the person.
I don't understand, is it so scary or so not cool
to risk your pride, your integrity for that?
Yeah.
You just forgot the part
where you try to sleep with a stranger.
That's not fair.
It's not fair.
Most days I don't even notice it,
and some days I feel crazy for even thinking about it,
and some days I just have doubts.
I'm sorry.
It's kind of a thing, you know?
When you choose to commit to something,
it usually comes with some sort of sacrifice.
Yeah, I know.
What?
I know, I know, I'm not in a relationship,
but I understand that-
What are you actually committed to?
My job, to begin with.
Your job?
You mean making movies with footage of other men?
Forget it, you just don't get it-
No, no, I really want to know.
Is that what you're committed to
for the rest of your life?
What, you think that working for a startup
that exploits its workers is remotely better?
It pays the bills.
Well, good for you!
Trust me, I'd be doing the same
if I had found an easier job.
I didn't say it was easy, it is realistic though.
Some of us actually have to pay bills.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, look at you!
You're traveling around the world with a backpack
and playing the part of a cool hippie,
and meanwhile your parents are probably
paying for your film school
and you get to walk around lecturing people about privilege.
Dude, you have no idea.
I live in an apartment with five people,
I've been eating rice for the past five months.
I've been using all of my credit cards and the bal-
God, you're doing it again!
You're playing the system's victim.
I bet your parents probably paid for your plane ticket.
My parents don't even know that I'm here.
Yeah, great, you didn't even have to ask for extra money.
My parents don't know that I'm here
'cause they don't know that I made this movie
because they don't know that I'm gay to begin with.
Yeah, talk about commitment, huh?
Well,
why don't you tell them?
Great idea.
Do you want to do it?
Mine kind of always knew.
I mean, I think they all kind of always know,
and then it's just about the lies
and the secrets they tell themselves.
That's sort of out of our control, right?
And they know Tristan?
Yeah.
My mother loves him.
How could you not?
You have to think in a mother's mindset.
Yeah, I get it.
You never thought about telling them?
Yeah, I thought about it.
I think about it.
And I've tried, right?
You try to open certain conversations,
and you show them certain kinds of movies,
and then you just give up.
Have you ever thought of
just ripping it off like a bandaid?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've thought about it,
but you know, it's not just a bandaid, it's a scar.
Right.
And then what do you do with the actual bandaid
after you rip it off?
Yeah.
I had this dream the other night
that I was on a boat,
and at first I didn't know who was on the boat with me.
And at some point a captain comes,
and he says, "Marcos, your aunt just fell off the boat."
And I say, "Well, what do we do now?"
And he says, "Well, we have two options,
we either stop or we keep moving."
And I say, "Well,
we just gotta keep moving, I guess."
And after a while he comes again, and he says,
"Your dad just fell off the boat."
And I say, "Well, we just gotta keep moving."
And then some time passed,
and I could feel the breeze in my face,
and he comes back and he says,
"Marcos, your mom just fell off the boat."
And I say, "Well, we gotta keep moving,
because we can't stop."
I think you're more worried than what you think you are.
Yeah, about the boat stopping.
About the people falling.
Well,
yeah, that too maybe.
Yeah.
But it's not like I'm gonna stop the boat, right?
- I don't know. - What?
I feel you, and I understand,
but I just don't think I could live like this.
It's just been kind of exhausting.
What has been exhausting?
Hearing about this over and over and over again.
I'm kind of fed up with it.
Men and trauma, trauma and men.
Well, I'm sorry that you had it all figured out.
See, that's the thing though, I didn't.
I came out too.
Your parents already knew you were gay.
And you know what?
It's not even really about being gay.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
It's about living in the present,
and how you decide you want to live in the present.
Yeah, when you've had the privilege-
Sorry, see, I call bullshit on that.
That's easy for you to say.
So what?
You've just decided you're gonna drive the boat alone
and fuck anyone else for trying to get in?
That's fucked up.
You know what the problem is?
The problem is that while men like me
keep putting up with bullshit like this,
there will always be another group of men
who are always willing to abuse it.
Not you, but...
No, that's fine.
Look, I clearly have no idea what I'm talking about,
so, um- - Yeah.
I think I'm just exhausted.
You know?
It's been a long day.
Yeah.
I think I'm gonna go to bed, actually.
Okay.
It's been nice, this.
And,
it's been wild today, the rain and everything,
and I just feel like we've said some things,
and I didn't mean to be so mean.
My plane leaves at 12,
but I'll be up at nine.
I'll be up.
You don't have to be-
No, I'll be up, I'll make us breakfast.
No noodles.
Right.
We can have bread and butter.
I'll take a shower.
I'll try not to get in your way, promise.
Well,
bye.
Fuck.
The power went out.
Yeah, I can tell.
The Wi-Fi's not working.
Well, yeah.
I don't have a signal.
Yeah, the whole city is shut down.
I can't call anyone.
Are you okay?
What do you mean the whole city's shut down?
Well, I,
what's happening?
Come here.
I'm just feeling a little nervous.
Alan, come here, sit down.
We have candles.
You're shaking.
Well, what if I need to call someone?
I can't really call anyway.
Hey!
Alan.
You're gonna breathe with me, okay?
Let your shoulders fall.
Just keep breathing, don't worry too much about the tempo,
just keep breathing.
Feel your shoulders relax.
Good.
You're gonna get your arms relaxed now, yeah?
Just let them fall.
Yeah.
Feel your chest moving up and down,
just let it fall as well.
You feel your pelvis relax, just let it fall.
You're sitting already, you're not gonna fall.
Yeah.
Just keep breathing.
Let's try again, yeah?
We're gonna go in.
Now go in.
So, when did it start?
I don't know.
You get used to something,
you forget how it started or when.
When did you learn how to guide meditation?
I dated a guy once that was really into mindfulness,
so he taught me to guide meditation.
What happened to him?
He was very present the whole time,
and then he started being too present.
I dated someone like that.
He was always, "I'm feeling this, I'm feeling that."
How about you shut the fuck up
and feel my cock for once?
I don't think it's all that tragic, really.
Having no arms and no legs, that would be tragic.
This is just some bad days.
And then some very, very, very bad days.
Are you depressed?
God, no.
No.
I hope not.
Am I?
I don't know.
I spent a lot of time not knowing what depression was,
and then I read somewhere that
there's actually a connection between
having a panic disorder and being depressed,
so I started wondering.
Well, what makes you think you're not depressed?
The idea that I still have doubts about it,
or that I don't want to be.
And then of course, therapy changed everything.
Hm.
So you love that guy, yeah?
I do.
Or maybe not.
I want to think I do.
You know, I was thinking about what you said before,
about wanting someone to look you in the eyes
and tell you that monogamy makes sense.
I'm sorry.
It doesn't.
It doesn't make sense.
That's the secret, you can stop your research now.
That's smart.
It's true.
It makes no sense at all.
You know, I think I was actually jealous.
I never really had that with anyone,
and I could feel it.
I could see it in your eyes.
It's not about love.
It's not about a cute face or a cute ass, it's the horror.
It's the horror of feeling that you could hurt someone
you actually care about.
Still.
I guess it makes no sense the other way either.
It doesn't.
My plane leaves in six hours.
I should get back to my room.
Could you
maybe not?
Do you think you'll come back?
Come visit?
Mm-hm.
I'll put a purple pin in Europe,
don't worry about it.
I found it.
Yeah, thanks.
Morning.
Hi.
So?
He left a voice message.
Well, play it.
Hey, Marcos.
What does that mean?
Um,
yeah, he's seen it.
And?
He says it's cool.
I have something for you.
This is Cleo.
Cleo from five to seven, yeah.
I made it for you.
I love it, thanks.
Agnes Varda.
You know, not another straight, white, old dude.
Yeah.
How do you know about this movie?
I love movies.
You have time for coffee?
Yeah, I could use some coffee.
So, who's your favorite porn star?
It's Claire!
Hi, Claire!
Hi!
Are you alive or what?
Yeah, we're alive.
It was a pretty bad storm though.
Are you kidding me?
Have you seen the pictures?
Oh my God.
And the city shut down, right?
Yeah, the power just came back on this morning.
Wow.
And did you guys get along?
How is Marcos?
He's right here actually, you're on speaker.
Bye, Claire!
Bye, fuckers!
She's crazy, huh?
Mm-hm.
Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?
Maybe for your trip to the airport?
I'm good, thank you.
Tristan will be here any minute
if you want to say bye.
I really should get going.
Okay then.
I'll see you again.
Yeah.
You'll come visit, or maybe I can come to Spain.
Yeah, yeah.
You should totally come to Spain,
you should come visit, yeah.
I will see you again.
Yeah.
Will you have douched next time or,
um, okay.
Be safe, yeah?
You too.
Bye.
Hi, babe.
Hi.
I just saw Mark.
Marcos.
Yeah, he just left.
He's kinda hot.
He is.
He is, yeah.
How was the party?
It was really good.
It was really good, she was really happy
that everyone was there.
We were kind of stuck inside for like five hours
just waiting for it to pass,
so we just had to keep drinking
and be with each other, which I don't know,
sounds maybe like a nightmare,
but was actually really nice.
She told me all these stories about grandpa
and when they met, and it was really nice.
I don't know, it's strange for people to get old,
but I'm glad we did it for her.
How are you, honey?
How was it?
You know, I'm good.
I'm actually really good.
I'm starving, do you want a toast?
Yeah.
Butter?
Yes.