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It's difficult news for John to take in
but the DNA test confirms that his biological mother
is indeed Jean-Marie Claude a Parisian dentist
who murdered her husband in cold blood.
It's horrifying, to think all this time
I've been French.
As John looks out to the horizon
he must question whether he wants to go on
with his journey.
Will meeting his mother give him the answers
he's always wanted
or will she be the very nightmare
we all know French people to be?
Shit.
This is a long-distance call from Australia.
Hello?
Who... Who's this?
Where's Gabriella?
Tell her it's Mary Pearce and I've almost got the money.
When did you make your order?
Because we're having a bit of a sausage crisis lately.
Who are you?
Norman, her son.
Normie?
And you still live at home?
Bloody hell.
Just a minute!
Oh, shit!
Ohh!
Prick.
What'd you say?
You're a Polish prick with a baby's dick.
Right.
Send my best to your mother, Rachel,
Please, just fuck off!
So it's an unpaid student film
and you want me to get a tit out?
I'll think about it.
Couldn't find a church?
It's traditional to do the wake at home in Poland.
Not that you'd know.
And is it traditional to put the coffin by the meat freeze?
Well, I couldn't get it up the stairs
and I thought she'd stay fresher here.
Who did her make-up?
Liza Minnelli?
Annabelle?
Oh!
Hello!
You what?
Oh, she must have seen your advert.
The stool softener.
Oh yes.
Well, it pays the bills.
She's wondering whether they made you
take the pills,
because you've lost a lot of weight.
You used to be a bit bigger.
- Really, really... - Yes, I get the picture.
You big, big.
Well I'm a vegan now, actually.
It's far more salubrious.
Mum would have been so proud.
She loved us both as if we were here own.
What does that mean?
Keep. Charity shop.
Rd.
What are you doing?
This... this was her favourite record.
Why is Mr Mateusz in here?
Mr Mateusz is disgusting.
Well what is it, a rat?
He is a bear.
This has still got her hair on it.
Who are the Twits?
They're our great-grandparents.
Bogumil and Bogumila.
On their wedding day.
You know that Mum traced our family line
all the way back to King Casimir the Great.
Oh, great!
It wouldn't kill you to take a bit more of an interest
in where you come from.
Would I get to inherit the family business, then?
You left to pursue your own career.
No I ran away, actually.
Mum drove you to the station.
You were always the favourite.
That's not fair,
Well why do you think she sent you to a private school,
while ♪ had to slum it in state?
You were expelled from that school
for making a headmaster cry.
My little angel Norman
with his bright, blonde lesbian hair.
You were always going to get everything, weren't you?
I stayed, Anna,
because family means something to me.
And why is it lesbian hair?
Anna?
"She loved us as if we were her own."
Because we weren't,
This is our real mother.
Mary Pear.
Is that?
Yup.
Did you do this?
Don't anger them.
Anna.
I asked you a question, bitch.
It's called acting, darling.
I just knew I was adopted.
So this Mary.
She made a deal with Gabriella, did she?
Something about money.
Well, I'll look up flights, but you're paying.
I couldn't even afford a proper funeral, Anna,
Well you could.
If you sold the butcher's.
Norman.
Mum put everything into this place, Anna.
She's not our Mum!
She's been lying to us.
There's no Bogmila, no Bogmula,
- no King Calamari. - It's Casimir.
Norman, look.
I am your older sister.
By two and a half minutes.
Which makes you...
The parasitic twin.
Yes, I know.
So I can be honest with you.
And honestly, you are though mildly endearing
a completely useless human being.
You don't belong here.
You're not a butcher.
You can't butch.
You can't cook.
You... you can't clean.
But you're finally freeto find out who you really are.
Now are you going to snub that opportunity
to spend the rest of your life rubbing chicken breasts
together in Slough?
Piss off back to Poland!
What did Gabriella used to say when we used to go to church?
Family goes...
Razem.
Together.
So, you coming or not?
Okay.
You're paying.
Razem.
Anna.
- Annal! - What?
What? What is it now?
This... this place, Two Heads Creek.
- It's not on the map. - Map?
You're not fucking Indiana Jones, Norman,
Google it.
Oh look, you've gone global.
Oh, fuck off, Norman.
Gidday, gidday.
Previous criminal record?
Why, is that a prerequisite for entry?
They help me sleep.
That's antique.
My mother's.
And that is my mother.
Mum, what are you doing here?
Now I have no problem with the blades
and the pingas, sir.
But I'd like to draw your attention
to the immigration card that you filled in upon arrival
where it clearly states that foreign bodies, dead or alive
carry the risk of contamination
to Australia's unique and individual eco-system.
I've no choice but to issue you with a fine.
Final destination in Australia.
Two Heads Creek.
What did you say?
Two Heads Creek.
You wanna go to Two Heads Creek?
Can I speak to your manager?
I am my manager.
Then you have no right to detain us without reason.
- Anna just... - No, excuse me.
So unless you want me to compose a negative tweet
about our experiences here today.
Clive, I suggest you let us through at once.
Oh well in that case I'll get someone to show you
to the bus stop.
What about the fine?
Ah, it's fine.
Fine, yeah.
No, you just have a wonderful stay
in Australia, Norman.
How did you know my name?
See you round like a rissole.
Two Heads Creek?
Gidday gidday!
Well don't just stand there, climb on board.
Everyone's welcome.
Apari, bags.
You take bags.
Okay?
Thank you.
- Norman? - Mmm?
Why is everyone Chinese?
You can't say that, Anna.
What, Chinese?
Oh, for goodness sake, Norman.
I think we can say Chinese if they're Chinese.
I'm Vietnamese.
What?
Oh oh, no no no, I didn't sort of mean everyone.
I just sort of meant you know because... because...
Oh, shut up.
What a magical day.
Ever since her discovery in 1770
this prosperous country has been built on the hard work
and dedication of immigrants just like yourselves.
Without you, without us there would literally be
nothing here of any value whatsoever at all.
So on behalf of the state of Queensland
the Commonwealth of Australia
and His Majesty Prince George gidday.
So now I'd like to invite you to sit back relax and enjoy
the quick 10-hour journey to your final destination.
Come on,
I can't believe we're actually going to meet her.
Wonder what she'll be like.
Like...
What does she do?
What does she eat?
What does she smell like?
Norman!
I've had a very stressful flight,
I haven't slept for two days
it's so hot I think my boobs are melting.
But is it too much to ask for a bit of peace and quiet?
The bus is on fire!
The bus in on fire!
You're all gonna die!
Well done, everyone.
That was a drill and you all did very well.
Well, this is as far as the bus goes.
That's it.
Gather "round."
Is that everyone?
Do try to avoid the koalas.
If they urinate on you, you will contract chlamydia.
It's like this town is stuck in the '70s.
Yeah, I'd say it's more '60s.
Let's just agree that it's shit.
Built originally as a pig farm.
Two Heads has since become one of the most innovative
and culturally rich towns in the southern hemisphere.
With the support from the pp.
Worldwide Australian National Citizenship Authority Scheme
we have proudly been initiating newcomers
into the country for over 20 years.
So it's like a town for immigrants.
Oh, heaven.
Our mother lives in a refugee camp.
Here we have the village hall.
Our world-famous stationery shop inspired by JA Burchill.
He invented the notepad.
Our local second-hand store.
Two Heads is known as one of the first
carbon neutral towns on the planet.
Pearce.
Yeah.
Our very own footy field.
Australian Rules, of course.
The butcher's.
And if you'll head this way, you'll see our world-famous.
Villagers Arms Hotel
the beating heart of our community.
She owns the butcher's, too.
She owns everything.
Maybe that's where she met Gabriella.
Where are you going?
She lives at number 66.
Anna, we can't just deviate from the tour.
Anna!
Oh, fine.
Don't worry about the bags.
I'll get the bags.
Looks like she's out.
No.
Really?
Anna.
Anna, that's breaking in.
I'm not breaking in.
Anna.
Okay, I'm breaking in.
Anna!
Anna?
Anna, where are you?
Anna, this is not funny.
Jesus Christ!
Anna.
Where are you?
That's not a knife!
Do not sneak up on me like that, Anna.
She's got loads of 'em.
Look.
There's something not quite right about this place.
Anna.
I know it's a little bit dilapidated,
but I think with a lick of paint,
it could be alright.
Now this is a knife.
Oh come on, Norman, where are your balls?
Will you stop being sexist?
How am I being sexist?
My desire not to be killed has nothing to do
with having or not having testicles.
Well there's no need to be a whining pussy about it.
Hi.
Maybe if you just hit it harder.
Hey.
Ah, is this the reception?
No.
Reception's over there.
Okay.
You're the talk of the town.
We don't get many Europeans.
Do you know Prince George?
No.
Oh, I was only joking.
We're looking for our mother, actually.
She lives on this road.
Number 66.
That's old Mary Pearce's place.
Mary Pearce, yes.
Yeah, but Mary Pearce is...
Dead.
Mary Pearce is dead.
Mary was a wonderful woman.
I used to love to watch her dance, you know?
Sometimes it looked like she'd short-circuited.
She was so full of life.
Until she was dead.
But yet, there were moments of stillness and
no talking when she was asleep.
Mostly.
And in the end she lost her head.
Dementia.
She left us years ago.
I'm just so sad that I never got to meet her.
No, I'm vegan.
So to whom did the house belong?
- The house? - It's number 66.
We went there before.
I know it's a little bit Myra Hindley...
You have no business there.
The house belongs to the village now.
I'm sorry you've come all this way for nothing
but really it's time for you to be leaving now.
I spoke to her.
Daisy.
Go and help your uncle with the sheets.
When did you speak with her?
On the phone, just before we left.
You said she died years ago.
Emotionally.
Her brain.
Her body gave way yesterday.
Well, I'd like to see her.
To pay our respects.
She's dead, mate.
Then when's the funeral?
The funeral is tomorrow.
You must come, of course.
Will you excuse me now.
You're lucky we had space.
Gets very busy,
what with the Australia Day ceremony.
Oh, what's that?
Only the most important, incredible and exciting day
of the year.
And there's karaoke.
We're doing the funeral, and that's final!
Gidday.
Gidday!
Shall I get them some Meaty-Mite?
Is that like Marmite?
No.
I don't consume meat products.
What do you want, then?
An onion?
Well maybe in a salad.
We don't do salad.
Give them the stew.
Norman.
Annabelle.
Welcome home.
We are so sorry for your loss.
Mary was like family.
She gave everything to the community.
Noah!
Do not mansplain over me.
It is my right as a woman not be interrupted!
We thought you were dead!
But we are thrilled that that is not the case.
Eric.
My first born.
Uncle Morris, my father.
Fuck off, ya pommy bastards!
He likes you.
And this is Jayne, our pride and joy.
And your biggest fan.
We use your stuff every day.
Well don't you have lovely hair.
Jayne.
With a Y,
She's very particular about the spelling.
You two need a drink.
We've got, ah, Beaujolais, Shiraz and Chianti.
But that'll cost you extra.
What, before dinner?
If he's a man, he'll have a XXXX.
What's a XXXX?
It's a man's drink.
Oh, goes down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
Well, I'll have one of those.
Looks like Mary's prodigy's got a vagina.
No, he doesn't.
But I do.
Pass me one of those.
That's how it's done, boys.
Impressive.
I like to have a drink with Anna.
'Cause Anna's me mate!
She drinks it down in eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one!
Grub's up.
Um.
Hmmn.
That's really good.
It's sort of smoking.
You sure you don't want any of this?
Fuck it, give me the stew.
Give me the stew...
- Oh, it's sublime. - Isn't it?
What is it? It's so sweet.
It's so tender.
I think it's...
Well I think it's veal.
It's baby cow?
Oh, that's really bad, isn't it?
What?
Remember that weekend that Mum took us to that place,
was it in Bournemouth?
Oh yes, our first and final holiday.
And I dared you to...
To eat 70 chicken nuggets on the pier.
Yes, I do remember, thank you.
You lost five pounds that day.
You gained 10.
Do you know I got the worst food poisoning ever that day.
Ooh.
Don't forget to flush!
Oh, you're not funny!
They could put the whole operation in danger.
Everything we've worked for.
I will take care of it.
They will leave after the funeral.
But we've never done a funeral.
You'll be fine.
Daisy?
Do you want me to wash your wombat?
Beg your pardon?
Your toy wombat.
This is
a wombat.
Right.
I mean, it's not mine.
It's my sister's.
She's really immature, so...
Mary.
The day she arrived in Australia.
She looks so happy.
Oh, that was before the family took back control of the farm.
She owned a farm?
She was a very hard worker.
Wish I'd got the chance to meet her.
Thank you, for this.
I like your haircut.
So Anna, it turns out Mary came here as an immigrant.
She owned this farm, and Mr Mateusz is a wombat...
Pommy bastard snag killer!
Soft, gentle music helps you calm your mind.
- Who's this? - That's enough, Morris.
He'll bring the curse!
This used to be his room.
What, so he stuck a fork in me?
A fork!
Oh, calm down.
It's only a flesh wound.
You've got your mother's legs.
That's quite a big needle.
- Doesn't hurt, does it? - No.
Oh, no no.
You should stay away from Morris.
He called me a snag killer.
What does that mean?
A snag means sausage.
He just blames you for the plague.
What plague?
Apparently when you were born all the pigs just sort of died.
Morris said you cursed the village.
But everyone knew the real reason.
It was safer to send you away.
And tell everyone we were dead.
Why wouldn't she go with us?
You ask too many questions, Norman.
Wait there, I'll fetch the scissors.
No need.
It's lucky he missed my femoral artery.
Well, where's that?
Oh, it's just there.
If he'd cut it, I'd be dead in about five minutes.
Five minutes?
Well that's not long.
But the one to really get is the subclavian artery.
One jab there, I'd bleed out in about five seconds.
I did it to a pig once.
Well, I didn't, my Mum did.
Other Mum.
I just watched.
I like
I like pigs.
I should go.
Yup.
Oh gosh, it feels like my brain's eating my skull.
How did you sleep?
- Morris. - Yeah.
Yeah.
Ladies and...
Thanks, Morris.
Ladies and gentlemen today is Australia Day.
- Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! - Oi oi oi!
- Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! - Oi oi oill.
But it's a funeral, so sad, also.
Mary was a woman.
And she was old.
And she's dead.
Why don't we look at some pictures of Mary
when she was alive?
Thank you, Eric.
No.
No, that's the wrong picture.
Shit.
Oh no.
No, let's pull the pin on the pictures, thanks Eric.
Would anyone like to say some words about Mary?
Anyone at all?
Morris, you took over her farm.
You got to know her.
What would you say about her?
Fuckin' bitch.
And may she rest in peace.
That concludes the service.
Sandwiches under the tarp.
Are you gonna say something to put her body to rest?
Ja, of course.
Apple!
Me?
♪ Australians all let us rejoice ♪
♪ For we are young and free ♪
♪ With golden soil and wealth for toil ♪
Do you not see anything wrong with these people?
No, I just think they're Australian.
♪ Our land abounds in nature's gifts ♪
♪ Of beauty rich and rare ♪
♪ In history's / page let every stage ♪
♪ Advance Australia fair ♪
She owned everything.
And left us nothing.
I think she was under threat.
From who?
The bus leaves in 15 minutes.
I'm sure Mary is proud of you wherever she is.
Say bye bye, pommies!
Jumping!
- Would you just get off me! - Shh! Shh!
Be quiet! Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet.
That's the man from immigration.
- He's in on it. - In on what?
I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
What, are you going to leave your teddy bear behind,
are you Normie?
His name is Mr Mateusz and he's a wombat.
Bastard went off like a frog in a sock
and then was off like a bride's nightie.
Kong Dang?
My friend became angry and then made a swift exit.
Bonza. Good boy, good boy.
Oi, Morris.
Pommies.
Why don't you tell me what really happened
- to my mother? - She's cactus.
What?
She's no longer alive.
Okay.
And how did she die?
- Lost her noggin. - Head.
Now fuck off.
Please leave.
Come on, Norman, this is clearly point...
Wait, hang on.
Answer me this and I'll go.
Mary had white hair, yes?
Nah yeah.
What?
Nah yeah means yes.
Right.
But I saw that the body in the coffin had black hair.
Yeah nah.
So it couldn't have been the same person.
Yeah nah!
Yeah nah means no.
Oh, my head hurts.
Australian is a language incredibly rich
in idiomatic expression.
Was that her in the coffin?
- Yeah nah or nah yeah? - Yeah nah.
- Yeah nah? - Yeah nah.
Nah yeah? = Nah.
Nah, nah yeah.
Yeah nah?
Nah.
- I knew it. - You knew what?
Pig murdering ankle-biting pommy bastard arsehole!
That one is not listed.
What the hell is going on?
If we miss this bus...
She had white hair and look.
No tattoo on the wrist.
That's her,
Who gave you this?
Nobody.
Daisy.
Oh my God, you fancy the little freckle girl?
She looks about 10.
I don't fancy anyone.
You're like Rolf Harris.
Have you no shame?
Can we stay on topic, please?
These people have done something to our mother.
Oh, no they haven't.
Yes they have, Anna, and I will prove it.
And how do you plan on doing that?
It's the heat.
The heat is driving you mad.
Please stop.
You're going to anger the locals.
Then let's anger them.
Hans must be hiding her.
We should check the pub.
No amount of money is worth risking our lives for.
What, is that why you came here?
For money?
Of course.
What, do you think I care about some Australian crone
who gave me up at birth and then pretended I was dead?
Anna, I think she was doing it for us.
I think she was doing it for herself.
I'm just taking a leaf out of her book.
You said family meant sticking together
no matter what.
Razem.
Think you're gonna love Australia Day.
We try to cater to everyone's tastes.
It's very inclusive.
So just through here.
Yep, mind your step.
That's exactly what I said to her.
No, I like him.
Oh, stop it. You can be so judgemental!
I'm not having this argument with you again.
Just be quiet and eat your salad.
Oh,
It's not what it looks like.
Did... did you do this to my mother?
No!
No.
God, no.
I would never do that to Mary.
Please don't tell my Mum about this.
Then tell me where Mary is.
My Mum says I can't.
Don't you think I won't go straight to Apple
and tell her...
Not entirely sure what this is, but I will tell her.
She was found trying to leave the village
and Hans wasn't happy.
Why?
Because...
Because nobody leaves the village.
Son!
Quickly, in here.
Come on,
Sorry, darling.
Why are you starkers?
I was doing Pilates.
For my circulation.
Mum said tonight.
We do it tonight.
Do what?
The thing.
What's the thing?
Take control.
Just cover up your donger.
Love you!
No smoking inside.
Well open a window, then.
Emergency services.
Police.
Yeah, what's your location?
Two Heads Creek.
Mary?
It's no use, sister girl.
It's a government operation.
Lots of money involved.
They pay the town to make the immigrant problem disappear.
Nobody hears the screams.
You're the first one I've ever seen come back.
Look, we're doing the Australia Day celebration.
If he doesn't like it, we'll get rid of him.,
I can't believe it's finally here!
Will she be ready for the feast?
Ah yeah, yeah of course.
Wow.
The BigBoy 3000.
Secondhand.
Oh, made in China,
but we won't hold that against her.
Beaut.
Does she turn on?
Yeah.
Why don't you give her a go, son?
Oh, can I?
Yeah, go for your life.
Oh really?
Thanks.
Oh, this is great!
Shit.
I need to...
You need to plug it in first.
Aye, that'd be the reason.
Oh, why did you put the BigBoy so far from the plug?
It's called Feng Shui, Eric.
Look, the grinder's here so we're doing the feast, right?
Well, Hans?
- We postpone. - Oh.
On Australia Day?
We haven't cancelled an Australia Day celebration
since the Great Famine.
Yeah, and what about the karaoke?
I am the Chair.
The Chair has spoken.
Yeah, but I've spent weeks on the colour scheme.
It will still go ahead, fear not.
I'll get rid of Norman myself.
That's what you said when the pigs all died.
You lied to us then.
What's to say you're telling the truth now?
Need I remind you, little brother
that father chose me.
Yeah, and you chose democracy.
That accent's not the only thing you brought back
from your one summer in Dusseldorf.
The curse remains.
Our community is under threat from outsiders.
We need strong and decisive leadership.
What was that?
The spring roll's gone walkabout.
Oh-hoo!
Come on!
Border control, bitch!
Fuck yeah!
Hope you've had your Weet-Bix.
And I was never allowed to sit in the front seat.
I mean, can you imagine what that did to my self-esteem?
Always being put second.
Always playing a supporting role.
I mean, no wonder I became an actress.
I mean how was I, an innocent child
supposed to form a positive sense of self
in a regime of systemic, sadistic,
I mean emotionally manipulative, cross-projecting abuse?
I was put in an orphanage after the police
murdered my mother and father in front of me
which would explain why I couldn't get a job,
due to lack of qualifications and skills.
I had to steal tinned food to support my daughter,
then the government took her away
and now I'm stuck here doing this job
until I can get a court case to get custody back.
Yes, exactly.
But hey, you'd do anything for family, right?
Mary?
Daisy.
Behind you.
Leave him out here to rot.
Yes, Daddy.
♪ Horror movie, right there on my TV ♪
♪ Shocking me right out of my brain ♪
♪ Horror movie ♪
♪ Shocking me right out of my brain ♪
♪ Horror movie, right there on my TV ♪
♪ Shocking me right out of my brain ♪
♪ Shocking me right out my brain ♪
♪ It's bound to get you in ♪
♪ Get you under your skin ♪
♪ Hit you right on the chin ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ It's bound to be a thriller ♪
♪ Bound to be a chiller ♪
♪ Bound to be a killer ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Horror movie, right there on my TV ♪
♪ Shocking me right out of my brain ♪
♪ You're wishing it's a movie ♪
♪ On the silver screen ♪
♪ But you're tucked up in bed ♪
♪ In a fever dream ♪
♪ But way out here ♪
♪ The house'll always win ♪
♪ There's juicy white meat ♪
♪ Underneath your skin ♪
♪ It's your arse on a plate ♪
♪ And your eyes on the side ♪
♪ We like foreign food too ♪
♪ There's no racial divide ♪
♪ Couldn't stop the boats ♪
♪ Don't you dare stop the planes ♪
♪ Get 'em all in ♪
♪ So we can eat their brains ♪
It didn't mention this on the visa application!
♪ Horror movie ♪
♪ Shocking me right out of my brain ♪
Oil.
The BigBoy 3000's all clogged up!
Bazza! Trev!
Keep your eye on the grub.
Come on!
Bye, Norman.
We should have bought a Kenwood.
That's not helpful, Eric.
Right, we need a... let's see if we can find a...
Anyone see a right wingnut?
Hey, Jayne?
How do you spell pasty little bitch?
You've let me down you've let yourself down
and you've let our daughter down.
Where is Jayne?
Jayne!
You chose family.
No, you can't choose your family.
Razem.
We need to call the police.
No, look, it's a government operation.
Eating immigrants?
This country is fucked.
Now loak, I found a car round the front.
Wait.
They've got Daisy.
There's no time.
Jayne!
Norman, please.
Jayne!
Oh, come on, let's go.
Go back. Go back.
No, no, no, it's too dangerous.
It's too dangerous, it's too dangerous.
Wait, wait, look!
Tear them apart!
Right.
Car! Car, car, car!
I have literally no idea how to drive.
Are you joking?
Oh God!
Get them!
Anna.
What's happening?
Come on now!
Anna, they're coming.
I know that they're coming.
I can see that they are coming.
Get it!
Follow me!
Right, quick! Chase 'em!
- Come on! - Come on, Dad!
Come here, little piggies!
I'm gonna bite off his tiny English cock!
Anna?
Anna, where are you?
You're not leaving without your teddy.
He's a wombat,
He's a child's plaything, Norman.
So what does that make you?
Mateusz!
Oh, what's the matter with you people?
What's wrong with chicken?
Work with me, Norman.
And we can defeat Apple.
Defeat Apple?
( You're the one trying 0 ) / to kill us.
No, they tried to kill me because I'm trying to save yo.
We're not so different, you and I.
Oh really?
Because the last time I checked,
I haven't eaten a ragu made of human arse!
But you really enjoyed last night's dinner, didn't you?
You can thank your mother for that.
You mean I ate my mother?
Ate her?
In the stew.
You said so yourself.
No, that was someone else.
It was just your mother's recipe.
I would never eat my own wife.
Wife?
I loved her with all my heart.
No.
Ja, Norman.
I am your
I should...
Who is she?
She's our mother.
Mama bear!
Where are you?
Come on babies.
Gabby was my best friend.
Oh, I couldn't believe it when you answered the phone.
Oh, with such a lovely posh voice.
You'll be safe in here.
I've been watching you both, waiting to talk to youse.
Never mind the smell.
It's just koala piss.
After you.
Eric was supposed to finish Hans off.
Are you okay, my little echidna?
I told you to stay close!
Now let's not get abusive, Apple.
I think he's only trying to be empathetic.
I'm not being abusive, I'm being assertive.
Well, I think you're projecting.
I'm really starting to regret giving you
that counselling DVD for Christmas, Clive.
Mary.
Hans must have kept her alive.
Fucking Germans.
If they escape, they could blow the whole thing.
They wouldn't dare.
We've got something they want.
That's your cue to follow me, you morons!
- Right. - Yes, good.
Oh God.
Anna, look.
Okay, so it is lesbian, then.
Sit down.
Sit.
I can't believe I'm going to see you eat your first grub.
You first, Normie.
Ha!
You're like your Dad.
He loved his grubs.
What's wrong?
I can't believe he's gone.
We met in Dusseldorf.
We got hitched and he brought me back here to meet the relos.
Oh, he was such a good man.
He killed and ate people.
Yeah, I know, but human flesh is so addictive,
it drives you bonkers.
It's like crack.
I disagree.
The villagers got a taste for it after the pigs died
and they started feasting on the deceased,
but that wasn't enough.
So you just stood by and watched innocent people die.
Why didn't you stand up against them?
Why didn't you fight?
Because they would have killed Daisy.
Daisy? What do you mean, Daisy?
I tried to escape with her so many times,
but Bad Apple and her gang brought her back.
Daisy was only allowed to live because Hans pretended
to execute me as punishment and they believed him,
That's why I've been living here, alone,
for so long.
I'm sorry, but I'd already lost two children.
I just couldn't bear to lose another one.
Wait.
That means Daisy is...
Your little sister.
Did you hear that, Luke Skywalker?
She's your sister.
They've got her.
Where's the cash?
In the shed.
She was stealing from Mummy.
And now she's gonna burn on the barbie.
These are wet.
Who wet these?
- Did you wet those? - Sorry.
God, you're pathetic.
- Whose side are you on? - Yours, Mummy.
Then pull down your tank top,
be a man and go and find me fire.
Don't overdo it, Aps.
Do not undermine me in public.
Okay, there's no need to escalate, right?
Why don't we all just try and drop the argument ball?
How can I drop the ball?
I never even touched the ball.
He threw the ball.
Alright, I'm dropping the ball.
I'm dropping the ball. The ball's dropped.
What are we playing?
So we're related to everyone?
Nothing worse than extended family.
No!
No, don't go.
It's a trap.
Come on, we have to think.
Nothing.
Get off me.
Oi, Morris.
That little piggy is not for sale.
Shit!
Piggy's not for sale?
What are you, some sort of gay superhero?
Oh, God.
Come on,
Go warm up the grinder, love.
I'm gonna eat his balls.
Step away from my brother, bitch.
Oh, fuck!
Fucking, fucking, fucking!
What the fuck!
Oh, Eric!
Stop her, boys!
Anna! Anna!
Watch out!
Come here, ya vegan mole!
For fuck's sake!
Ow.
Watch out! Watch out!
Watch out!
You need more protein, love.
Jesus!
- Go get your sister. - Yeah, yeah!
Dad!
This is for the pigs.
Daisy!
Norman!
No! No!
No, stay with me.
Stay with me, stay with me. -.
It's okay.
- 4 - It's gonna be okay. - Get back, go on!
It's only a flesh wound.
I've had shits done more damage.
Se, I can't lose you.
I've only just found you.
Oh, Norm.
Oh, you sweetheart.
You're so proud, so determined and just a little bit girly.
Did you know that losing my little boy
well that did make me the saddest mother
in the whole world.
But seeing you grow into a man it's made me the proudest ever.
Ever.
Norman!
Go on.
You know what to do.
Oh, you.
Go on.
God, I love the way you tie people up.
Only for you, Mama bear.
Why do we ever fight?
I don't know.
Let her go.
One more step and I'll mince her.
Put your weapons down.
Did you really think you could come back here
with your dirty blood and destroy what we've built?
This is Australia.
Tie them up, baby.
You know what it does to me.
Let me see your hands, you pommy prick.
No.
Norman, I really don't think this is the time
to discover bravery.
I've had tapeworms bigger than those arms, mate.
And the pig dies in five,
four,
three,
two,
one.
Baby bear!
Enough.
This ends now.
Plug her back in.
Do it!
Get in, Baby Spice.
Let's hope the constipation queen
doesn't clog her up.
Wait.
You're not stalling this time, boy.
I want to do it myself.
Do you think I'm an idiot?
Pass me the button.
She's my family.
If anyone's gonna do this, it's me.
Well there's no benefit for me in that, I'm afraid.
Then what if I ate Annabelle instead?
- What? - What?
What if I ate her alive?
Why would you do that?
- Because she's a bitch. - Excuse me?
Because she's a bitch.
Oh, she's a total bitch.
- She's a parasite. - How dare you!
We're going to die anyway, Apple.
- You're bullshitting. - I'm not.
- You wouldn't. - Would.
- No you wouldn't. - He would.
- Shut up! - No, you shut up.
Leech.
I don't believe you.
What have you got to lose?
Go on, Apple.
Play with your food a little.
Alright.
Try anything, and you all die.
Norman, I hope you know what you're doing.
Well get on with it or I'll gut the pack of ya!
Well I guess now we know
where you get your athleticism from.
♪♪ Now, listen.
No need to do anything stupid.
I can talk about your record.
Get you a pardon.
You can see your daughter.
Apari,
Brother.
It's Apari.
And I'm not your fuekin' brother.
Hey, you dirty Abo bastard!
"Fuckin" foreigners!
Is anyone else hungry?
Yeah.
Starving.
I could murder a witchetty grub.
I think we need a new diet.
Suppose I'll clean it up myself, then.
Fuckin' foreigners.
Hello sir, what can we do for you?
What's all this foreign shit?
Haven't you got any meat?
Oh, we're vegan, actually.
Fuckin' poms.
This is Australia.
I'm sure we can make an exception for you, sir.