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[upbeat music]
♪ Oh
♪ Is there love tonight?
♪ I've been down this road so many times ♪
♪ And I know that tonight we're gonna survive ♪
♪ All that it takes is one not to break ♪
♪ And then I'll catch your fall ♪
♪ All that I need, all that I feel ♪
♪ Is love tonight
♪ Oh
♪ Is there love tonight?
♪ Love tonight
Next!
Full-length chicken--
Ham and Swiss on rye!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
[laughs] No, go ahead.
-Extra pickles. -No mayo.
-A side of chips. -And coleslaw, please.
Oh, you have coleslaw, how is it?
No, no, on the coleslaw.
Uh, potato salad, is that with mustard or mayo?
Mayo.
Okay, potato salad.
You want potato salad, sir?
No, coleslaw.
But you just said--
Forget what I said.
I was, we were--
So you don't want chipotle chicken on white?
Yes, on the chipotle chicken on white
and tortilla soup.
Yeah, but no coleslaw?
And the coleslaw.
But potato salad?
-No! -Yes!
Rice pudding?
-Yes! -No.
Oh, can I get extra tomatoes?
Extra mayo.
Can I get double--
-Pepperoni, double and then--
[talking over each other]
Oh, actually, I didn't want that.
And the cookies are--
If I could do it like asparagus and potato salad--
And not the onions! No onions.
Figure it out for yourselves.
-Asparagus? -Oh, mine!
-Coleslaw? -Mine.
Cheddar is mine, soup is mine.
-Cookies? -Oh, mine.
-Chipotle chicken? -That's me.
What is this?
Rice pudding?
That's the only possible explanation.
[Abby laughs]
-Then I got chips. -Mine, time?
-Uh, time, 1:30. -1:30?
-That's what I said. -I'm late!
Hey, what am I supposed to do with this stuff?
Have a picnic!
[upbeat music]
[bell dings]
Excuse me, can you tell me where Susan Danvers' office is?
I'm Abby Morel, I have an interview with her right now.
Sure.
Her assistant is out today, but I'll show you the way.
Okay.
So, what position are you interviewing for?
Junior editor.
Do you have a recommendation from a senior editor?
No, but before I moved here I worked
as a secondary managing editor for Lansing Publishing.
It's in Toledo.
Well, you're never gonna get in without a recommendation
from a senior editor.
Believe me, I've been trying to get promoted
to junior editor for three years,
but there's no place I'd rather be.
This is it.
Wish me luck!
You're gonna need a miracle.
[door knocking]
Ms. Danvers?
I have Abby Morel for the junior editor position.
Hmm.
-Um, no. -No, what?
No, you won't do.
I need someone who understands
that a deadline means 2:00 p.m., not 2:02,
much the same way that appointments do,
especially job interviews.
Uh, I know everything about this industry,
about Belle and Howe.
You're the biggest publishing house
in the Pacific Northwest.
One of every five books
on the Times bestseller list is published here,
it's been my dream since I was a kid to work here.
It was my dream to be an astronaut when I was a kid,
life is full of disappointments.
I have five years experience at Lansing Publishing.
That's in Toledo.
Oh, Toledo!
I know that you're having major issues with Dexter Hayes.
Who told you that?
No one told me, it's obvious.
Belle and Howe has released a new Dexter Hayes novel
every 18 months since he started.
He's your top author, except now it's been four years.
No other publishing house has been crowing
about trying to poach him from you.
If he had retired, then you would be
promoting his back titles and if he died,
then you'd really be promoting his back titles,
and so you must be having problems with him.
-You brought sample coverage? -Yes, I did!
And you have a recommendation from a senior editor?
Well, no.
Not exactly--
No one gets junior editor without a recommendation
from a senior editor, company policy.
Good luck to you.
-Janine, I'm home. -Hey, roomie!
Tough day at work, Morel?
I took my resume to every publishing house in town
including cookies, brownies, cheesecake and rice pudding.
Rice pudding?
You'd be surprised.
Someone in publishing has to have a sweet tooth.
Apparently, they're all on a diet!
I hope you're not.
I knew moving from Toledo would be tough,
but I didn't move all the way here
just for a career proof-reading
"Portland's Onsite Wastewater Treatment Systems
"Revised Manual and Checklist".
Wastewater treatment is very important
for long term urban sustainability.
Don't get me wrong, I am all for urban substantion.
Substantion, is that even a word?
It is now!
I didn't know you could do that,
just decide something's a word.
I'm an editor, aren't I?
Even if my office is located between my bed and my bureau.
Well, you're the prettiest editor I know.
You're the prettiest programming engineer I know.
Also the only one.
I'll take it.
You just need a change of scenery.
There's a great new bar that just opened
and a bunch of guys from the office are gonna be there.
Phil, Bill and Will?
Don't forget about Gil.
Are any of them prettier than you are?
Why don't you come out and decide for yourself?
I appreciate the invite, really,
but I'm no good at multitasking.
Career first, then love.
Okay, look out, "Portland's Onsite Wastewater
Treatment Systems Revised Manual and Checklist."
Here I come.
What?
Chipotle chicken.
[soft orchestral music]
[phone buzzing]
Hello?
[Dan] Ham and Swiss on rye?
Mine!
What?
Chipotle chicken?
You better have that manuscript.
Yes!
Uh, yes.
A little hairspray will help that come off.
Did you drag me out of bed at 6:00 a.m.
to give me makeup tips?
I just know a lot about getting ink off of skin.
Oh, here's your manuscript.
Greg.
Dan.
Greg's my friend, this is his book.
How'd you get my number?
It was on the work order
inside the "Portland Onsite Wastewater Treatment Systems--
Revised Manual and Checklist, right.
Oh, along with the other half of your sandwich.
What'd you do with the first half?
It had onions.
Hey, I'm sorry if I was,
on the phone I was kind of--
Rude?
I was gonna say panicked.
Yeah, this is my best friend's book.
Last night his computer crashed and cloud storage failed,
so this is literally the only copy in existence.
This is the only copy? Anywhere?
Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe.
Enough!
You're coming with me!
[upbeat music]
♪ Good, good
♪ Good, good, life is good
♪ Never had a doubt
♪ And I took this rule
♪ Good, good
♪ Life is good
Okay, so three complete hard copies,
two copies on CD-ROM, one thumb drive backup,
five years hosting on their cloud server
and an electronic copy emailed to you,
maybe we should have gotten more copies.
When the apocalypse hits,
the only thing that'll survive are cockroaches and this book.
You think we overdid it?
Yes, I do.
I just couldn't stand the idea
that this book might be lost forever,
just because your friend overshot his free storage.
People need stories like this.
I know what you mean, I read it and after that--
Everything seemed different.
Yeah, a little more--
Helpful.
Exactly.
So, can I take you out for breakfast?
Since I got you up so early and--
[phone buzzes]
Oh, sorry, I gotta take this.
-Hello? -Abby?
It's Beatrice from Belle and Howe.
Right, hi, hello.
Ms. Danvers asked me to call you,
she said she has a position opening for you,
but only if you can start soon.
-How soon? -15 minutes ago.
I'll be there 15 minutes ago!
-I gotta go! -I thought--
Tell you friend I loved his book!
-But-- -And buy more storage!
This isn't a job opening, this is temp work.
You do temp work?
I will do anything.
I hope you mean that, boss lady is a bear.
Be useful, avoid office politics,
and never let them see you cry.
This place is a jungle.
But there's nowhere I'd rather be.
Is that ink on your cheek?
Oh. [laughs]
Ms. Danvers, I have Abby Morel for the temp assignment.
Oh, finally you're here!
My regular assistant eloped
and then demanded a two-week vacation in Vegas.
Well, I can file, proofread, copyedit
and I write great coverage.
We have interns for that, this is more complex.
Have a seat.
Okay.
As you so astutely pointed out, Dexter Hayes,
our top author, is two years behind his publishing schedule.
Managing him is going to take up every waking hour
I have between now and the end of the quarter.
Wait, Dexter Hayes is the most reclusive author ever.
He makes J.D. Salinger look like an Instagram celebrity,
no one even knows his real name.
Do you know who he is?
No.
We only interact through his agent.
Okay, well I am the perfect woman for the job,
I have read everything he's ever written,
I did my senior thesis on his debut novel, I--
That's not why I need your help.
-It's not? -No.
After my assistant eloped, it got me thinking
and I realized I want the same thing.
You wanna go to Vegas?
No, I hate Vegas, I want to get married.
Not right away, but someday, before I'm 40.
Which means I have to start looking now.
These are all the men
who have liked my online dating profile.
That's a lot of men!
Just a little over 3,000.
I still don't understand.
Given Dexter's meltdown,
I don't have time to sort through all of this.
What I need is a screener.
A screener?
Someone to pre-screen these men
and make sure they fit my list of requirements,
which you will find under appendix B.
Okay.
Smart, confident, professional,
understands art, has a sense of rhythm, speaks French?
Just enough to order at Le Petit Maison.
Smells good in ACQUE de BLEU cologne?
I don't know about this.
If you're not comfortable, I will get Beatrice
to call up the temp agencies right away.
Beatrice!
No, wait, wait, wait.
I realize this is an unusual assignment,
so to show my appreciation,
I'll let you bring in a book, just one, to edit on your own.
Do a good job and I will recommend you
for the junior editor position myself.
I'll do it!
Welcome to the team.
Follow my advice
and you will have the publishing world on a string.
Oh, watch your...
Whoop!
You okay?
Yeah, I always knew I'd fall hard for a man,
I didn't know his name would be Can-_Crusher-_21.
Can Crusher!
What is all of this?
These are all men who like my boss.
Your boss, you have a job!
I mean, why would you have a boss and not a job, congrats!
Yes, I have a job
and a boss, a very popular boss.
These are all men who liked her online dating profile.
Online dating, a single girl's dream.
Yeah, or nightmare!
Sexy mountain man, or scary lumberjack?
Lumberjack.
She wants me to prescreen all of these men
and root out the ones that don't fit her checklist.
Why don't you use her login?
I mean, all the dating sites have filters.
If only.
Have you ever seen a filter
for whether or not a man reads voraciously?
Come on, there are over 3,000 profiles here.
You need a system.
Allow me?
[upbeat music]
Do you have it?
[manuscript thumps]
Also, backups.
Backups of the backups,
and backups of the backups of the backups.
Thank you.
No, don't thank me, thank ham and swiss on rye.
Long story.
Well?
Well, what do you think of the book?
Okay, listen, it's...
it's absolutely incredible.
-Yes? -Yes.
Yes!
Dexter Hayes, best-selling author,
thinks I'm--
Hey, hey, hey.
They can hear you in Beaverton.
Sorry.
Best-selling author, Dexter Hayes,
thinks I'm incredible.
Yeah, I just wish I could get it published.
No, your privacy means everything to you
and I respect that.
I'm just happy that you like it.
Liked it?
No, no, I loved it.
And I'm not the only one.
Ham and Swiss loved it, too.
Uh, what's with all the red ink?
Okay, so, I created this program
to automatically eliminate the guys
that don't fit the criteria, you know,
based on empirical stuff.
Body type, height, education
and then it tags the most-likely candidates based
on keywords.
Who said data isn't romantic?
Oh!
Catfish.
Most people would say hottie or stud, even super stud.
No, I mean, this guy's obviously catfishing.
He stole a picture on the internet
and he's pretending it's him.
How can you tell?
No one is that good looking.
Someone's that good looking.
Right, yeah, because normal guys just stand around
with their shirts off waiting for someone to snap a pic
in perfect studio lighting.
Actually, I recognize this shot.
Okay, next.
Well, he has a nice chin.
And a wife.
What, how do you know?
Because of his hat and his glasses.
They're so his wife's single friends can't recognize him.
Next.
Okay, you don't have to explain this one.
Next!
Six possible matches, not 60, not 16, six.
Yeah, it's like looking
for the perfect little black dress,
you don't need a closet full of them,
you just need the one that's perfect for you.
Yes!
This list is just so limiting,
like what happened to being a nice guy?
The world is full of nice guys.
So do you have one of these lists?
No.
What's on it?
Taller than me, even in heels,
likes my cooking, can fix things,
roots for the Seahawks, and understands the beauty
of a well-organized medicine cabinet, don't judge me.
That's very romantic.
Well, what's on your list?
I don't have a list.
Spill it.
Um, nice, kind, honest.
A voracious reader.
You stole that from your boss.
We're both editors.
Okay, keep going.
Can iron his own clothes, makes me laugh,
confident but still humble, loves pets.
Ooh, ooh, looks good in a suit!
Um, willing to come to my rescue.
Someone that can, you know, teach me things.
That I can teach things to.
And hates double-chocolate anything.
But you love double-chocolate anything.
Exactly, more double-chocolate for me.
[Janine laughs]
[paper rustles]
So, Edward, Lawrence?
I don't know if the name Edward works?
[Janine laughs]
[phone ringing]
Double Americano, one cream, one sugar,
marketing just released 3Q sales projections for YA
and six eligible bachelors.
So...
for my first book,
I have a stack this high I could pitch you,
I have been collecting them for years
and I just read the most amazing manuscript!
I think it's a first-time author,
but the story was so incredible!
Uh, these, uh, look promising.
You can go forward with phase two.
Phase two?
Oh, I've tried going on a few dates,
the first guy, well, he lied about his height,
the second guys lied about his age,
third guy, well, he lied about everything.
That's awful.
I need confirmation that these men match my list, IRL.
IRL?
In Real Life.
Oh, okay.
You didn't think you were done, did you?
No, of course not.
Okay!
Oh,
Abby, there's a YA book getting
a lot of buzz called "Codename Grace",
I'd love your opinion on it.
Really?
Junior editors bring in 15-25 books a year,
I need to get a sense of your taste.
You got it!
Okay.
Hey.
How's it going? Anything I can help with?
No, thank you.
Just a little side project that Susan has me working on.
Are you sure?
Yeah, no, definitely sure!
Okay, well,
let me know if you change your mind.
Thanks!
[pop music]
♪ You took it
How do we find you in real life?
♪ Didn't expect
♪ That your heart re-caged
♪ I'm going to get there
♪ With hope we'll get there
♪ I'm going to get there and hope we will live there ♪
New to class?
Yep, it's my first time.
You're gonna love it, it's stupid intense.
Oh.
You just wanna lock your foot in there.
You are very helpful.
Oh.
Just, okay. [sighs]
[upbeat dance music]
Wow, this is intense!
It's like a Tour de France!
-I love the Tour de France! -Oh, great!
Do you spend a lot of time in France?
I go every year.
Last time I went, I was mistaken for a Parisian.
All right.
Do you like French food?
Yes! Ratatouille is my favorite. Mwah!
Is that the one with onions?
Not the way I get it done, I'm allergic to onions.
[pants] Great.
Oh!
I'll get it.
[bike squeaks] [gasps]
Oh!
Hey, stop!
[music stops]
-You all right? -Yeah.
Anything broken?
[music continues]
I'm good!
A little mortified.
Nah, it happens all the time.
Really?
Wow, you really are sweet.
That's what my mom says!
Oh, are you guys close?
She's my best friend.
We just bought a duplex together.
♪ All my life
♪ I've burning up my song
♪ A widow
♪ I'm a widow
[phone ringing in background]
Come on!
Buy a carrot, a head of lettuce,
a kumquat, something to cook with.
"Oh, I cook!"
Obviously this piece is about the wretchedness
of living in a consumer society where even the celebration
of a champagne bottle becomes a complete blight
to the landscape within minutes.
Well, you can see how he's marked the can
with striations up and down,
showing that all economic levels are plagued by the same...
[trash crinkles]
[laughs]
Art!
Everyone's a critic.
[paper crinkles]
[paper thumps] No, no, definitely no.
What about the one with the woman who lost her mother?
We already have three lost mother books in the works,
we need something fresh,
something that hasn't been done before
and how is the special assignment coming along?
Um...
Well.
How many of the six you showed me
are still in the running?
None, but I--
Maybe I can help?
What do you know about it?
About the special project?
Nothing, but I am very resourceful,
and a team player, and--
A receptionist who's neglecting her desk.
I hope I don't have to point out the necessity
for discretion and taste?
No, of course not!
I'm reviewing a new set of prospects as we speak
and I'll have an update for you shortly.
I will be right there.
Find me a book and a man, or by the end of the week,
you will be finding yourself a new employer.
Well, I know Dex is a little behind.
Two days,
two weeks,
two months is a little behind schedule--
Right.
But two years?
Yeah...
Well, hey,
he is an artist, we have to trust the process.
I paid for a book, not a process.
What's the blasted scribbler been up to all this time?
Does he at least have a first draft?
Yeah, yeah.
Wonderful.
That's a place to start.
Put us in touch and I will be happy to work with him.
Oh, well, you know Dexter never works with anybody,
that's his--
We'll do everything we can to protect his privacy.
Okay.
-I'm very discreet. -And I'm very impatient.
Yeah.
Tell your client he has one week.
Either he turns in his first draft...
or he turns in his advance.
They want their advance back.
This is serious, Dan!
I just came from there, it's not a good scene!
What are you looking for?
Ham and Swiss on Rye.
What? Go order one, that's how restaurants work.
No, it's, it's a long story, nevermind.
What are you talking about?
The advance, they want it back
and I know you've already spent your 90%.
No, I haven't.
Well, I've spent my 10%.
I'm just a little late.
A little late?
Two years doesn't count as a little late.
I tried that excuse, especially when it's already finished!
It's not finished.
Did you write the end?
Okay, it's finished, but it's not ready.
Listen, sometimes you just have to let it go,
let it flap it's little baby book wings
and off it goes and everyone loves it like they always do!
I don't love it, not yet, so it's not ready.
You mean it's not perfect?
Yeah, it's not perfect.
What's the matter with perfection?
I like my books the way I like my relationships.
Oh, yeah?
Okay, cool, how's that working out for you?
Let me answer that question, no book and single.
[scoffs]
[phone ringing]
[Dan] Hello?
Chipotle chicken?
Can I ask you a question?
I am an open book.
Does your friend Greg have a lit agent?
Greg, you want Greg?
No, I want his book.
[Dan laughs]
The structure needs work
and the phrasing can be a little awkward.
Yeah, I saw your markups.
Force of habit, once that red pen comes out--
You're an editor?
I'm a junior editor.
Almost.
My boss is giving me one chance to bring in a book
that will prove myself.
I want "All the Way to the Sky."
Why should Greg trust his book to you?
Because I'm the only one that wants it.
How did you?
I asked around,
it's been rejected by every publishing house.
But they're all idiots and morons and--
Blockheads.
-And nitwits. -And numbskulls.
Twits.
[laughing together]
So?
I will hook you up with Greg, under one condition.
Let me help.
What makes you think I need your help?
Uh, you're a junior editor almost.
What do you know about publishing?
I've been around publishing for years.
Doing what?
Freelancing.
-Uh-huh. -Um-hmm, lots of hats.
Just trust me, okay?
Thank you.
What do you say?
There's no way I'm talking you out of this, is there?
-Not a chance. -Okay, then.
[glasses clink]
Well, onions.
You really hate onions.
Can't stand them.
How tall are you?
About 6'1".
And you live with your mother?
No, no, I live with a goldfish named Ahab.
Have you read "Anna Karenina"?
-Um-hmm. -How many times?
I don't know, two, three, maybe?
So not just for college credit?
No.
No, because it's a beautiful and tragically romantic book.
Why are you grinning like that?
It's just nice to meet a man who's a voracious reader.
[glasses clink]
Here is the coverage on "Codename Grace"
for the YA meeting.
Have you read the book?
Yes.
-Can you speak to it? -Um-hmm.
Great.
I'd like to introduce you to the team,
so you're going to do the pitch.
Now, first impressions are essential,
you need to look like someone who can meet a deadline
and knows how to use a semicolon.
Oh, um, I have a candidate for our special project.
Email me his profile.
He doesn't have a profile, I met him IRL.
In real life?
At a bar?
Sandwich shop.
He's read "Anna Karenina" three times
and here is his Facebook profile.
Hmm, he's attractive, certainly.
There's not much more information here.
He is a voracious reader, he hates onions,
and he lives alone.
Except for a fish.
Are fish okay?
All right, just checking.
He's definitely a possibility,
but I need more information.
Okay.
Now, when you enter, head up, shoulders back,
big smiles generally, across the room.
Oh,
just be yourself.
Hello!
Hello, have you met Abby Morel?
My new protegee.
Are you sure about this?
Don't worry, this way I can help guide things
and you get all Dex Hayes' practical publishing experience.
And none of the risk?
Smart, dude, tres smart.
Greg Cooper.
I loved you book!
Thanks!
Hey.
I appreciate that, but I'm a little nervous.
I've never worked with an editor--
A junior editor almost.
Don't worry, we are not going to change your book,
we're just going to enhance and polish what's already there.
Okay, so to start we're gonna look
at different aspects of your book.
We'll start with word choice,
sentence structure, rhythm and sound.
We need to take care of the big problems, first.
Structure, character, theme.
Right, right, but the larger elements
of the story do kind of work hand-in-hand--
Right now, pretty sentences don't matter,
we have bigger fish to fry.
-I love this book! -I love this book!
Okay, okay, wait.
Just, obviously, you both want what's best for the book
and I think it's important that we think big picture
and also consider my word choice.
So...
how about it?
[upbeat music]
So, where did you meet Dan?
Cooking class, we were studying a semester abroad.
-Where? -Provence.
Oh! Nice!
Wow, he must be quite the chef.
I wouldn't go that far.
I mean, I'm pretty sure he knows the difference
between a ladle and a soup spoon.
Interesting, interesting.
What's interesting?
Just that you must speak French,
because of your semester in France.
Oh, that was a long time ago,
I don't know how much I remember
beyond escargot and coq au vin.
That's enough.
And [speaking French], I remember that.
So, how long do you think it will take you
to make these changes?
Two weeks?
Ooh, ah--
Is there some kind of hurry?
Yeah, it's just we're finalizing our fall lineup soon.
Hmm.
Two days.
Two days?
You can do it.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You have to trust the process as imperfect as it is.
Right, Dan?
Hmm?
Yeah, yeah, wise words.
Do you want that last cookie?
Double-chocolate, too rich for me, all for you.
Thanks. [laughs]
Okay...
rhythm.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Hey, Brandon, it's Dan.
I've decided Belle and Howe can have a chapter,
one chapter.
Halle-freakin'-lujah!
He's back, baby!
Okay.
All right, I gotta roll!
Yeah, yeah, bye.
[sighs]
She's not due for another five minutes.
I know.
You're into her, aren't you?
A junior editor almost, of course not.
Well, then you don't wanna hear about all the questions
she's been asking about you.
She asked about me?
Um-hmm.
A lot? [Greg laughs]
Hey, what'd she say?
Guys!
-Hi! -Hey.
Hey!
Well, what do you think?
It's perfect!
I'm ready to submit it to my boss.
I'm on my way there now,
I just need you to sign this release and we're good to go.
Okay.
Hmm, oh, right!
Great, thank you.
[light upbeat music]
Well, go on then!
Okay, I'm going, I'm going!
I'm gonna go!
[Dan laughs]
Well, you're just gonna let her go off like that?
Oh, right, I should,
Abby!
Wait up!
You ask a lot of questions.
I'm a curious person!
Curious about me?
Curious about people.
That's not what Greg said.
-Well-- -So, fair is fair.
Now I get to ask some questions.
-All right? -How is that fair?
That's just, just is, okay?
Okay.
What's your favorite color?
This is silly.
That is not silly.
This is silly.
Hey!
You want it back, answer some questions, okay?
Favorite color?
Yellow.
Favorite food?
Double-chocolate anything.
Favorite relative?
My Aunt Ellie.
Favorite place?
My reading nook.
You have a reading nook?
Yeah, I used to back in Toledo.
Everyone should have a reading nook.
Right?
And then she said,
"Uh, of course I didn't copy off of you,
no one can read your handwriting."
[couple laughs]
It's dumb, I'm sorry.
What?
What are we doing here?
I work here!
Is something wrong?
No, just make sure when you hand in Greg's book,
your boss is in a good mood.
Why wouldn't my boss be in a good mood?
Just something I learned as a freelancer,
the hard way.
Just trust me.
[engines roaring]
[phone ringing]
[papers rustling]
Was that really necessary?
That was the fourth editor we let take a shot
at the Dexter Hayes chapter
and the fourth one he shot down,
the man is a prima donna.
I'd like to throttle him like a rag doll.
If only we knew where to find him.
Oh,
I'll find him if I have to hire every detective in the city.
And when I'm through with him,
he will beg us to publish his book!
Abby! There you are!
Do you have anything new for me?
Nothing that can't wait.
You better hurry,
my assistant comes back in less than a week.
Ooh, who's this?
Another prospect.
You sure you want to hand him off to your boss?
Of course.
That's not the way you were looking at him.
How was I looking at him?
Like he was made of double-chocolate everything.
I was just thinking what it'll be like
when I finally have my boss' position
and I can work on any book I want.
And I made a mockup of what I think the cover should be
of the first book I edit.
I think it'll help sell the project to my boss.
-What do you think? -It's nice!
I mean, there's the title and there's colors and...
Oh! [sighs]
Junior editor's a really big jump for you.
Of course, there's gonna be stuff you'll need to learn.
Okay, but I can't ask my boss for advice,
I need this project to go off without a hitch.
Is there not anyone else you can ask for help?
No.
Oh, no.
-It's bad. -Well--
-You hate it-- -I--
You think I'm a junior editor never.
Do you want me to answer any of these questions?
No... yes.
I think...
there's some place I need to take you.
[light guitar music]
Okay, keep going, keep going.
Keep 'em closed, keep 'em closed, little step.
Okay,
just wait, wait.
Closed.
Okay, ready?
Open.
What is this?
This is my favorite 24-hour bookstore.
[Abby gasps]
Why is this a great cover?
It's easy to read,
and there's equal spacing between the title
and author, suggesting that the author's someone important,
someone that we should read.
And?
And the clipped letters hint at the story being
about a kidnapping.
And the jagged font suggests
that it's serious, not light-hearted.
Excellent.
Now, shelf placement.
This is the busy middle.
Galbraith, King--
Oh, Hayes.
Yep, say you have a name like, say, Phil Brigg,
you end up down around people's knees.
And people don't read with their knees?
I don't think so.
So, you're a Dexter Hayes fan?
Oh, of course!
His prose has it's own kind of poetic lyricism.
But I do feel like
his secondary characters could have a little bit more depth,
they tends towards one-dimensional.
[laughs] One-dimensional?
His characters are painfully and extensively researched.
Oh, how would you know about his research?
I don't, I just, he feels that way, I think.
Hmm, I don't think so.
Oh, dear!
[laughs] Uh, what are you doing?
It's more eye-catching this way.
I love book signings, don't you?
A book should stand on its own,
who the author is shouldn't be important.
Signings just give people a chance to gawk and judge
and demand to know why a book ended this way,
or why a character didn't do that.
I don't think most fans are like that!
I just think there's something so special
about having a book that the author
actually touched with his own hands!
Did you know that 23% of people are more likely
to tell a friend about a book that's signed
and 16% are more likely to recommend it.
I didn't know that.
Well, now you do.
You have got a disease, you know that, right?
If loving books is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
You might just be the perfect woman.
A junior editor almost?
A future junior editor, for sure.
Ooh! [Dan laughs]
We should do this again.
Yeah.
Uh...
books.
Good night.
Okay,
yeah.
Goodnight!
[somber music]
Up kinda late for a school night, aren't you?
What? No!
It's only 2:00 a.m.
Hot date?
It's not like that.
Hmm, you and that Dan guy were looking
pretty starry-eyed out on the stoop.
You were spying on us?
Absolutely.
For your information,
I'm turning him in to Susan on Monday.
He's passed everything I can think of.
All according to plan.
Exactly!
Just so you know, love hates plans.
Goodnight!
[Susan] Oh, I don't know,
there are still so many unknowns!
Does it really matter if he can change a tire?
Well, uh?
I will get you an auto club membership.
Problem solved.
Okay. Okay, let's do it.
Yes!
Set something up, casual, no pressure
and then you can make an excuse and leave us.
Oh, just think, he could be the one.
I've been waiting for the right moment.
What's this?
It's my one.
My book.
[balls clattering in next room]
Brandon?
Hi!
How'd you get in here?
-Kitchen window. -No, you didn't.
I did.
You did, okay!
What's going on?
Rupert Belle, he's having me followed!
He wants to find out the secret identity of Dexter Hayes.
Whether you like it or not, he's gonna get that book!
-I'm not scared of him. -You should be!
Because I am!
I'm terrified!
He's like a boa constrictor in a $5,000 suit!
Oh, once he gets a hold of you. [screeches]
-You okay? -No, I'm not okay.
But, I have an idea.
What if you got someone to read the book,
like a second opinion?
Greg maybe, he could do it!
Greg loves everything, he'd praise my shopping list.
Well, somebody else then!
Someone with taste that could give you honest feedback,
that you trust not to spill the beans
about your secret identity.
Who am I kidding?
Why am I even talking to you about this,
to you that person doesn't exist!
They'd have to be--
Perfect?
Yeah.
Actually, I know just the person.
Okay, now we're talking!
[Dan] Let's do this.
I'll be in here if you need me.
Abby, there's something that I want to tell you.
Abby, could I... could I ask you a favor?
Can I tell you something, Abby?
[phone buzzing] Oh!
Hello?
Hi, Dan!
Abby?
Hi, uh, I was just thinking about you.
Well, I was just thinking about you, too.
And Greg.
Oh.
I want us all to meet with my boss,
something casual, no pressure.
Yeah, it'll help if Greg has a friend at the top.
So you'll be there, you promise?
Wouldn't miss it.
Abby, I wanted to ask you--
Great, I'll send over the details.
Bye.
Something.
[customers murmuring] [door creaks]
Oh, good, you're here!
Okay, so, this is important.
When my boss gets here, Susan, could you be charming?
Not that I think it'd be hard for you to be charming,
I just, you guys have a lot in common.
Right, uh, like what?
Um, you both love books.
Wow, an editor that likes books,
what is this world coming to?
I know.
Oh!
[Susan laughs]
[door creaks]
Oh, Susan!
I see you've already met Greg Cooper!
We're old friends,
we've known each other all of 10 seconds?
11.
12, 13. [Susan laughs]
[Abby and Dan laugh]
Dan, this is Susan, she's gonna help us with Greg's book.
Dan, so nice to meet you.
You, too.
Greg, help me with the drinks?
Okay.
-So... -So.
-Have a seat. -Thank you.
Wine.
[audience applauding]
Hi, everyone.
I'm gonna be reading a section from my novel.
[microphone screeches]
Wow.
Nervous.
I've uh, never done this before.
Okay, so, here we go.
"And Jane looked at me with pity.
''I don't believe in soul mates,' she said
with a shrug so cold and matter-of-fact
that I felt myself shiver.
I nodded, agreeing, 'You need a soul to find a soulmate.'
And she was furious and then suddenly quiet.
And I took a moment to explain.
'A soulmate is not someone
who makes us feel good about ourselves as we are,
but someone who encourages us
to become the person we're meant to be:
whole, complete, eternal.
[audience applauding]
[manuscript thumps] [Abby sighs]
[Susan] Abby, come in here, please!
You liked it!
Greg Cooper will be the next big thing.
I'm going to personally shepherd this one
through production, distribution and marketing.
Excellent job.
I'll make sure Amanda keeps you up to date on its progress.
Amanda?
My assistant.
She's back from her honeymoon tomorrow.
Oh, right.
-And? -And that's it.
Go pack your things.
Guess temp time is over, huh?
Yeah, I guess so.
Thought I did everything right, but--
Well, I think I finally got a recommendation
from a senior editor in cookbooks,
so when I move up, maybe you'll come back as receptionist.
All packed up?
Yeah.
Good, let's go.
What do you think?
-It's an office. -It's your office.
You held up your end of the deal and so have I.
You are officially Belle and Howe's newest junior editor.
[gasps]
I can't believe it!
Well, you better,
you need to start putting together a slate of titles ASAP.
Okay!
Oh, my gosh!
And Abby, last night was amazing.
I have never felt so much connection,
so much chemistry, so much za-za-zoo!
Oh, za-za-zoo!
Good, good, do you think he felt the same way, or--
Yes.
He just invited me to go dancing.
You're coming, too, I mean, he's bringing his friend
and since you already know him--
Oh, yeah, I'm not--
I owe you all the credit in the world.
You found me the perfect man!
Tell me about it.
[lively Latin percussion music]
Do you see him anywhere?
Maybe he changed his mind?
No, he wouldn't do that.
Uh, why don't you look this way and I'll go the other?
Okay.
[throat clearing]
Hi!
Hi.
You look nice.
Yeah, Greg lent me his jacket,
he didn't want me to embarrass him.
Greg?
Yeah, I can hardly believe it myself.
Uh, Susan's on the dance floor.
You should go ask her to dance.
Really?
Of course!
Okay! [laughs]
-Go on! -Okay!
[Susan laughs]
-Hey! -Greg?
-Hey! -Hi, you look really nice!
Yeah.
You know, I clean up pretty good.
You seen where Dan went to?
Uh, yeah, he's with Susan on the dance floor.
Oh...
Is it okay if I ask my editor to cha-cha?
Oh, I'm really not good.
Don't worry.
I am.
Okay.
So, just like that, okay.
Mmm-hmm.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
Cha-cha-cha.
One, okay, got it, yeah!
[shoes crunch]
-Oh, I'm sorry. -That's fine.
-Let's just keep going. -Okay.
One, two.
[laughs]
Oww!
No, it's fine, umm...
why don't we just skip this one?
Yes, please.
Did I break it?
And so Rupert Belle threatens to sue the entire chain
of booksellers and start a boycott
and refuse to sell them any of our titles, unless they agree
to put "Spaceman Jack and the Pirate Princess"
front and center in all their stores
and make it an Employee Recommendation.
What I'm saying is, we know how to make best-sellers.
But it's a terrible book.
It sold millions.
Sure, but it's a terrible book.
Right?
Every 30 seconds, a new title is published.
If these rates continue, by 2052,
the number of book titles published will exceed the number
of people who actually read one book per year
by 19 million copies.
Desperate times require desperate measures,
and Abby knows that, right?
Oh, you know that, huh?
Of course she does.
Abby has proven that she can do whatever it takes
to get the job done.
[glasses clink reluctantly]
-Hey, Abby, wait up! -Dan?
Where's Susan?
I left her and Greg talking about preorders
and release strategies, they're fine.
Are you sure Belle and Howe is the publisher
you want to work for?
Yes, they're the best in the business.
Yes, but Abby, some of their practices,
even I didn't know about that stuff.
If what Susan says is true--
Look, I struggled for years at a tiny publishing house
just to get one or two titles to press.
As a junior editor at Belle and Howe,
I'd work on dozens, it's what I was born to do.
Yes, you were born to be an editor, for sure.
The perfect editor.
Which is why I need a favor.
I wrote a book.
You?
A book, a whole book?
A whole book with a beginning, middle and an end.
Would you be willing to read a chapter or two,
give me your opinion, your honest opinion?
Do I have any other kind?
Seriously, though, I'd be honored.
You'd have to be sworn to secrecy.
Cross my heart.
And you have to read it at my house.
I can't let it out of my sight.
Okay...
Paranoid much?
But I'll do it.
Great, well when?
Now.
Definitely now.
Otherwise curiosity will keep me up all night.
Okay, let's do it!
I guess I should've stuck with freelancing.
Let me get everything ready.
[fingers tapping]
Torn about Dexter Hayes?
You own every book he ever wrote.
Uh...
Yeah, the thing is...
well, I...
I... you know what? I'll tell you
what I really think about him someday soon, okay?
But for now, follow me.
[gentle uplifting music]
[gasps] You have a reading nook, too?
Everyone's gotta have one, right?
Take it for a test drive.
[hand thumps]
Comfy.
Double-chocolate!
What else?
[sniffs] Oh, yeah!
"If It Were You."
I can't read it if you're staring at me.
Right, sorry.
Okay.
Sorry.
Give me the rest of those pages,
or I swear by everything holy,
I will take all of the books you own
and I'm gonna superglue the pages together
and you'll never be able to read them again!
Do you like it?
Where do you keep the glue?
Ah!
[Abby sighs]
Okay.
[feet tapping]
[soft piano music]
[papers rustle]
[Abby sighs]
Hey!
That bad?
That good.
I do have one thought.
Tell me.
Are you sure?
Tell me or I swear by everything holy,
I'll superglue every page you--
[laughs] Okay, okay.
What if the professor has a personal realization
about the value of honor?
It would mirror how the main character regains
his own integrity and provide a secondary comment
on your theme.
It was just a thought.
No.
That's it.
That's right, that's exactly what it needs, you--
[Abby laughs]
You are amazing! You're perfect!
I should go.
Sorry!
I just, I should get ready for work.
Abby, I shouldn't have, I'm...
It's fine, I just...
I really did love it.
[light music] [shoes pounding]
[chair creaks] [chair whooshes]
Abby?
Yes?
Hi! [phone rings in background]
These came for you.
Wow, thank you.
How is the slate coming along?
Oh, actually, I read something great last night.
It's a coming of age story about a college student
who learned to tell the truth
even when no one wanted to hear it.
Interesting, sounds familiar.
Well, I look forward to reading your coverage.
[phone ringing in background]
So?
So, what?
So, how did you get a recommendation
from a senior editor after only two weeks?
Well, I found a unique book and a promising new author.
I submitted it to Susan, she liked it, so here I am.
No, I have been submitting book proposals for years!
It had to be more than that.
What did you do?
Just what I said.
[sighs]
[phones ringing in background]
[somber guitar music]
♪ Every time I get to see you love ♪
♪ I know that I would never have enough ♪
♪ Oh, why can't I get you out ♪
♪ Out of my mind
♪ I feel for you
Oh, my gosh, Abby, are you okay, what happened?
It's my list!
I was looking at it, do you know what this is?
It's Dan!
He checks every single box!
He's my... he's my list guy.
Well, duh, what's the problem?
Susan.
If I tell Susan that I like--
-Love? -Okay!
Dan,
she'll fire me.
I mean, all my life, I have,
I have dreamed about bringing great books
into the hands of little girls like I used to be.
That's a good dream.
I meant, that's a great dream,
but there are a lot of ways to make that dream happen
and there's only one Dan.
There is one list guy.
I don't know...
I just, I don't know.
What would Susan do if she had to pick
between her career and a chance at true love?
[Abby sighs]
[upbeat dance music]
Who are you looking for?
Greg and Dan.
I thought it'd be good for Greg to get an idea
of what a launch party is like.
We've been seeing a lot of each other.
[ladies laugh]
Okay, [sighs]
I'm gonna tell Abby that I'm Dexter Hayes.
What?
Yeah, she's gonna figure it out eventually
and, uh, I want her to hear it from me.
You trust her that much?
Yeah, I do, she's perfect.
[car honks]
Oh, good timing!
-How's my hair? -Brutal.
[soft romantic music]
Abby.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
You, too, look nice.
I mean, uh,
-I need to tell-- -To tell you something.
[both together] Me first.
Can I go, please?
Come here...
I'm Dexter Hayes.
Well, he's me, I mean.
Abby?
I can't believe I didn't realize.
I'm so stupid!
You're not, you're not.
Definitely not.
You're Dexter?
[laughs] Yes.
You let me read it knowing I'd figure it out?
Yeah, I knew that I could trust you completely.
Oh, what did you wanna tell me?
I uh, I...
I, uh...
I have to go to the bathroom.
Okay.
Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
[Susan] Yes, of course.
What is going on?
I kissed him.
You did what?
After dancing, at his house and I liked it,
a lot.
And I don't care if you fire me, I'm in love with Dan.
Dan?
Yes, Dan, what do you mean?
Dan!
I mean, he's nice
and I see why you thought he fit my list,
but no, no, thank you.
What? What about dancing
and spending a lot of time together and za-za-zoo!
I was talking about Greg!
I thought you knew!
What?
Oh!
Thank goodness, wow!
I've been saying that a lot lately, but wow.
-You should sit down. -Okay.
[sighs]
Oh, I have to tell Dan.
Especially after he told me, nevermind.
He trusts me, I have to tell him everything.
I have to tell him about the list,
about asking all those questions,
about trying to set you two up,
about trying to figure out if he was the right guy for you!
You're right, he deserves to know.
Uh, wait, what?
What happened to doing whatever it takes
and you gotta be ruthless and all that?
Being around Greg has made me rethink a lot of my choices.
He's a good man, he makes me wanna be better.
That's good.
That's great even.
I should get back to him.
I'll be right there.
[door creaks]
[fist raps]
Just a minute!
Minute's up.
Beatrice?
That junior editor job should have been mine.
I thought you didn't have a recommendation.
That is beside the point!
I saw you talking to that poor guy out there,
he's part of that special project
you were working on for Susan, right?
He thinks he's head over heels for you,
but it was all just a lie so that you could get ahead!
I've seen too many people try and get ahead at this company
by walking all over other people,
I am not gonna let that happen this time!
Beatrice!
Beatrice? [door rattles]
Beatrice, no!
Beatrice! [fist pounding]
Stop, please!
I'm gonna tell him!
Beatrice, no! [fist pounds]
I have to be the one that tells him!
[fist pounds]
Well, we did it.
-You look all right. -What did he do?
Could be worse. Rupert's staring at me.
[pounding]
Help, please!
Can anyone hear me?
Then I found out it wasn't my kid.
-You're Dan, right? -Yeah.
I'm Beatrice, I'm a friend of Abby's.
I think there's something you should know.
[Abby gasps]
Hey, Dan!
I need to talk to you, hey, wait!
I should have known better.
Anybody that works in this place can't be trusted
to be honest.
I... you weren't that honest with me either about,
about you know who.
I mean, you made me look like an idiot, I--
Don't talk to me.
I'm so disappointed.
Abby, what happened?
Somebody beat me to it.
Well, I'm sure you--
I thought he trusted me.
He wouldn't even hear my side of the story.
Oh, Abby.
Dexter Hayes' agent just informed me
that he's withdrawing "If It Were You,"
returning his advance,
and refuses to work with us ever again.
This is a disaster!
Do you know something about this?
The new project you were telling me about,
the college student.
That's the same story as the Hayes book, you read it.
You know who Dexter Hayes is?
I...
I know.
Yes!
This is exactly what we need!
We'll put so much pressure on Dexter,
he'll beg us to publish his book!
That's not fair!
That's business!
Now, I can make a deal with anyone,
I just need to get him into the room.
He doesn't wanna be in a room with you.
Either you give me that name,
and I give you anything you want, anything.
Or...
You play hardball,
and I'll sue you for breach of contract.
Hey!
The choice is yours.
This is a disaster.
Hey, we'll find another publisher,
we'll get another advance.
I'm not just worried about the money,
-I'm worried about-- -Abby.
She knows who Dexter Hayes is.
Oh, so how long 'til she sells you out
for the corner office?
Abby wouldn't do that!
Right, Dan?
I don't know.
[door knocking]
Beatrice?
Can I talk to you, Abby?
Why don't you leave that open.
Right, okay.
Sorry.
And I am sorry.
I heard what happened last night with Rupert
and what I did, it was awful.
I was frustrated and angry,
but that does not make what I did okay,
especially when I didn't have all the information.
Can you forgive me?
Maybe.
If you teach me that trick with the broomstick.
I guess it does come in handy.
Well...
This is goodbye.
I finally got a recommendation
and I'm leaving Belle and Howe.
You're looking at the new editor for YA Lit
for Winslow Press.
I guess there is someplace else I'd rather be.
Congratulations.
And good luck.
You, too, Abby.
What did she want?
To apologize and say goodbye.
Rupert asked me to give this to you as a gift.
First edition of Dexter Hayes' first book.
Not signed of course, but still worth about a month's rent.
Oh.
Are you gonna give up Dexter's real name?
I don't know.
When I first met Dexter,
I had no idea he was a famous author.
He just kept letting me think that.
He let me look like a complete idiot,
babbling on about his work
and it's not like we're really friends or anything else.
This was always my dream.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Well, after the astronaut thing.
[Abby laughs]
But maybe Beatrice is right.
I don't know that I wanna be the person
I'd have to be to keep it.
Yeah, me too.
Do you think you could set something up with Greg for me?
[plate clinks]
So what did you want to talk to me about?
Just thought you could use a sandwich.
You haven't left your house in three days.
Yeah, might as well enjoy it.
[plate clinks]
Goodbye, regular Joe.
Hello, celebrity author.
See you later.
So how much is my name worth?
You hold out for senior editor,
or was my corner office enough?
Your boss must have given you something?
I don't have a boss, I quit.
You did that?
You did that for me?
No...
I did that for me.
I don't wanna be the person I'd have to be
to stay at that company.
But I want you to know that your secret's safe.
Look, I know that what I did to get ahead was not okay.
but you lied too, even if it was by omission.
You said that you trusted me...
But the second you learned that I had made a mistake...
that I was less than perfect...
You ran out on me.
And you wouldn't even hear my side of the story.
You know what? That's not okay, either.
[somber music]
And what kind of trust is that?
[objects clanking]
I brought you a succulent!
What's going on?
I quit.
Drama,
infighting,
mean-spirited, unethical
and sometimes illegal behavior is the norm at Belle and Howe
and I'm getting out.
What are you gonna do?
What is should've done a long time ago,
start my own imprint.
Really?
Well, I happen to know this,
this junior editor who needs a job.
That's too bad, I don't need a junior editor.
But I do need a partner.
[lively music]
Oh, man.
I brought you this.
♪ Good, good, life is good
♪ I never had a doubt
♪ And I took this ruse
♪ Good, good
♪ Life is good
♪ Good, good
♪ Life is good
♪ You always need a raise
♪ But I know you should
♪ Good, good
♪ Life
♪ Is good
♪ I [good, good]
♪ Can take it off the ground
♪ Now
♪ Can't see myself from
♪ And by
♪ Would you like to go with me? ♪
♪ Me
♪ Good, good
♪ Life is good
♪ I never had a doubt
♪ And I took this ruse
♪ Good, good
♪ Life is good
Dan?
Abby.
You're right, I should have trusted you enough
to listen to your side of the story and then some.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
I don't know if you heard, but I need an editor...
Any chance you'd take that on?
You're the only one I'd trust.
You'd do that for me?
No, I'd completely do that for me.
Mmm-hmm.
This...
I'm doing for us.
♪ Wakin' up
♪ And takin' chances tonight
♪ I'm openin' my eyes
♪ And I'm feelin' alive
♪ I don't wanna be
♪ Anywhere but by your side
They're here!
The new run is here!
[laughs]
♪ Alive
[throat clearing]
"Finally I knew I didn't need the world's attention,
his was enough."
"Neither one of us was perfect,
but we were perfect for each other."
"Each one pushing, pulling, demanding and accepting
until finally I saw, in all of the world,
there was no one else for him and then no one better for me."
♪ You've given me
♪ All the strength that I need
♪ Oh
♪ I feel alive
♪ Wakin' up
♪ And takin' chances tonight
♪ Wanna know if I can be by your side ♪
♪ I don't wanna be anywhere but by your side ♪
♪ I just wanna be
♪ Here feelin' alive
♪ Alive
[upbeat electronic dance music]
♪ Don't know why
♪ I wanna stand in a row
♪ All my life
♪ I've been burnin' up a song
♪ Get up, now get it up
[fade into soft romantic music]