Downloaded from YTS.MX
- As dusk approaches,
the ethereal winds bring forth the minions
of bedlam and chaos.
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
And it is I who plays the siren song
which calls these beasts to the mortal realms.
For I am The Summoner!
(screaming)
(intense rock music)
- Hey, that was great, Summoner.
I think we got it.
You can clock off now.
(gentle music)
- Thanks guys, see you Monday.
(yawning)
(upbeat music)
Nope.
(intense rock music)
Nope.
(gentle music)
Damn it!
(gentle music)
Hello, Donald.
- It was a presence.
This thing was fucking horny!
(laughing)
What can I say.
- [Operator] You can clock off now.
- Fuck!
(horn honking)
Damn it!
- [Man] This thing was fucking horny!
- [Operator] You can clock off now.
- Damn it!
- This thing was fucking horny!
- You can clock off now. - Damn it!
- [Man] This thing was fucking horny!
- Fuck! - Damn it!
- I said possess her?
I hardly knew her!
(laughing)
Hey, what's wrong man?
- Nothin'.
- No, I'm serious.
You can talk to me.
- It's just, Balthazar,
have you ever wanted more in your life?
- Like a promotion?
- No, well, not exactly.
It's just that I feel like
I'm doing the same thing over and over again.
There's no change, there's no diversity,
there's no freedom.
It's just repetition and I feel empty inside.
- That's because you don't have a soul.
- Would you just listen for one second?
I've been playing metal
and promoting depravity for as long as I can remember
and now it seems like that's all that I'm good for.
I can't be destined to bring songs
of suffering to all of humanity for eternity.
I think it's time I started working on my passion.
- Oh no, this isn't another
Fred from accounting tries selling mix tapes, is it?
- No, it's even better.
Selling affordable single-family real estate.
(birds chirping)
- Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
- Good morning sir!
Would you be interested in buyin' a house today?
- That's not how you start a pitch, rookie.
I'm here to inform you you're on my territory.
The name's Chadly Derekson,
and you'd best not forget it.
I'm the Real Estate King of LA.
No one even looks at a house here without my say so.
- With all due respect, Mr. Derekson,
you're blocking my view of a potential customer.
Hey, you wanna buy a house?
(screaming)
- You know what?
I was planning on running you out of town,
but it seems like you're doin' a good enough job
puttin' yourself out of business.
I'll be going for now, but know just one thing:
you won't last one day in this business.
(laughing)
(gentle music)
- And this is the kitchen.
It's really nice because you can make food here.
But I think my favorite room is the basement.
- Really, why's that?
- Well, it's soundproof.
You know, for all the screaming.
(screaming)
- Oh, you know what,
I just realized I have a chiropractors appointment.
I gotta go.
It's right now.
(gentle music)
- Here's the bedroom.
You'll notice it has a bed.
It's very soft.
I can actually guarantee that you'll go right to (snoring).
- Um, excuse me?
Are you-- (screaming)
(gentle music)
- And as you will see,
the closet is already stocked with necessities.
And you'll feel safe inside
because this door can really take a beating.
Trust me, I know.
And that concludes the tour.
Can I answer any questions you might have?
- Nope. - No.
Thank you, we really appreciate the tour, Mr. Summoner.
- Please, call me Summoner.
- Right, um, you know, I just don't think we're really ready
to buy a house right now.
- No, don't worry, it's a worthy investment.
The property value can only go up from here.
- See that's just the thing.
I'm not sure I really could trust financial advice from,
what would you call yourself, a monster?
- What's wrong with that?
- I'm not sure you have my family's best interests at heart.
The answer is no.
- Hey, do you wanna see a magic trick?
You know the game got your nose?
Well...
Ta da!
- Summoner, I don't think
that's appropriate to show a child.
You know, Chadly was right about you.
- Chadly?
Chadly Derekson?
- Yes and when we got here he was outside telling us
that there was some demon trying to sell dangerous property.
Let's go!
(screaming)
- I swear to God,
they were able to give Jim the house for free.
(laughing)
It was so good!
- Chadly!
You've been sabotaging my business.
- Aw that's rich.
I wasn't sabotaging it,
I'm merely helping move you to retirement.
- What's your problem?
- What's my problem?
I already told you, I'm the Real Estate King,
and I can't have some ghoul
mucking up the playing field.
It's bad for business.
Could you imagine what customers would think
of real estate if they saw some undead freak
trying to hawk property next to us?
- There's nothing wrong with being a ghoul.
- Are you kidding?
The only thing your kind is good for is spooking kids.
No one would listen to what you have to say.
(intense rock music)
- You know what?
I think you're wrong about that.
- It seems like you'll need some physical persuasion.
Meet the Sunset Drive gang:
Tiffany Balderdash and The Mongoose.
The best real estate agents this side of Beverly Hills.
We'll kick your ass and still have time for coffee.
(intense rock music)
(screaming)
- I may be the physical manifestation of evil
and that ain't so bad.
(screaming)
(upbeat music)
- My guest tonight is someone you all know and fear.
He's the undead prince of real estate.
Ladies and gentleman, it's The Summoner.
(upbeat music) (cheering)
Welcome to the show.
- Thanks for having me, Jimmy.
- Alright, be honest,
what took you so long to get over here?
- If I told you, Jimmy, I'd have to kill ya.
(laughing)
- And he means it, folks.
(laughing)
Now, you were in a bit of controversy recently.
- Oh, uh huh.
- So, what are your plans now
that you've been fired from the White House?
(laughing)
- Oh, well the president
and I disagreed on a few key issues.
But in all seriousness, Jimmy, I really was fired from Hell!
(laughing)
- And this is right after you killed Chadly Derekson
and the Sunset Drive Gang?
- Yep.
- And if I'm not mistaken,
this left a power vacuum
in the regional real estate community.
- Indeed it did.
- So how does it feel to replace them
as the most powerful entity in house flipping?
(gentle music) (cheering)
- To be perfectly honest, it's actually quite humbling.
The whole situation has given me an opportunity
to reflect on the work that led me here.
I started out with very little self-confidence,
and it took a while,
but eventually I was able to embrace who I really was.
And the real me is really good at sellin' houses.
(cheering)
- Now I'm sure we've got a lot
of young people watching tonight
wanting to make a name for themselves.
Do you have any words of advice
you could offer these enterprising individuals?
- Never forget where you came from
and it might sound corny, but it's true.
You really can do anything you put your mind to.
(intense rock music)
(gentle music)
(screaming)