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[panting]
♪
[panting]
[gunshot]
[grunting]
[gunshot]
[screaming]
[gun cocks]
Whoa! Oh, no!
Oh, whoa!
Whoa!
[screaming]
♪
Wow.
[laughs]
Here's the next option.
1943.
This dress isfrom the '40s?
-Yes.-Wow.
Let's try it on.
This one's nice.
It feelsa little different.
I might have to take upthe back or something.
This is a veryspecial dress.
1943, it was made to order
for the famous opera singerMary Lou Freeman.
Wow.
Unfortunately, the nightbefore her wedding,
she drowned inher bathtub,
so it's never been worn.
Are you serious?
Brand new.
It actually looks amazing.
[screams]
[laughs]
Yeah! We did it!
That is how it's done here.
That was so good.You were so good.
Really? While I'm tryingon wedding dresses?
That was so good.
That was ourbest prank ever.
You were just a part ofthe best Branded prank ever.
Everybody,if you like what you see,
that's what thisblog is all about.
Twice a week coming at you,fresh pranks.
Let's tell everybodyhow good that was.
Everyone at home,we love you!
Allie, she loves you!
You got Branded! Boom!
♪
[screams]
All right, everybody,thanks for tuning in,
I'm Christian Brand.
Hey, it's Chris Brand.Hey, it's Chris Brand!
Chris Brand.
I am here today withChristian Brand,
the mastermindYouTube sensation,
with 10 millionYouTube subscribers.
That's a pretty big deal.
How does that even happen?
[screams]
Raises the blood pressure,makes you feel alive.
Doesn't have to bethat hard, everyone.
You just have toacknowledge what you love
and what you want to be.
Christian, how do youthink your channel
differs from anyone else's?
Oh, that's easy.
Alison is the keyto my success
and the channel's success.
It really is up to her.
Allie is the love of my life,
and I have built mybusiness around my love.
For generations,her family has had
this connectionto the paranormal world.
It goes back to her distant,distant relatives.
They were actuallyfamous mediums
in the early 1900sand helped other people.
Look at this guy.That's me when I was a teenager.
If I could go backand tell him one thing,
I would say stop caringwhat people think,
because that's the momenteverything changed for me.
What's next for you guys?
Oh, it's going to bean interesting year.
We are really going to upthe game to a whole new level.
With the technology today, youcan create real opportunities
with the people you love,doing what you love.
[Old man speaking indistinctly]
This is a partnership,
but you are both coming herefrom different perspectives.
There will be ups and downsin making this pregnancy work.
When a couple decides
they're going to havefertility treatment,
the key is to eliminateany unnecessary stress.
[door closes]
Wow! Doc, I got to tell you,that viewing selection
is pretty limited.
It's all cowgirls.
Every different videois different cowgirls.
Giddy up.
This is all there is?
Yeah.
You didn't spill any?
Spill any? No.I didn't spill any.
Hm.
[laughs]
I'm just messing with you!
[laughs]
[all laugh]
How much is thisgoing to cost?
30,000, get fucked.
Okay, 28,000.
Not a big difference.
I don't know whyyou're so upset.
Did you notdo the research?
I have not.
Chris?
Jessie! Whoa!Look at you! Holy shit!
Look at your hair!It's so long!
I almost didn'trecognize you!
I know, man!You got a beard!
This is my fiance, Alison.
Oh, hi.Nice to meet you, Alison.
What the hell are youdoing in an IVF clinic?
Oh my god,you haven't met David.
I have a fiance now.
-What?-Congratulations.
-Congrats, man.-Thank you.
-We bought a church.-You bought a church?
Yeah. It's a little rustic,but we fell in love with it.
-Wow.-Yeah.
We actually sold our studioand moved to the country.
You live in a church?
Yeah.
Oh my god,you two should come up.
[both]I mean...
It sounds really nice. Yes.
-Great! It's done.-We're in.
Awesome. We're goingto have so much fun.
Yeah!
You all, just wantto say thank you.
We just hit 10 millionsubscribers,
so keep hitting that like,keep clicking subscribe,
because we're going to keepcoming at you twice a week
from the Christian Brand Show.
-I'm Chris.-Chris.
What?
Let's you and Imake a deal.
Oh, all right.
That my body can't beunder any stress,
not if we want thistreatment to work,
so I need you and I
to come to an understanding
that you willno longer prank me.
What?
Treatment starts next week,and we can't really afford
for it not to work,so you got to stop pranking me.
How can we be done with pranks?
You're the star ofour prank channel.
It doesn't makeany fucking sense.
What are you talking about?
Here's a deal.
I'll make you a deal.
I'll stop pranking youwhen we start IVF.
Deal.
No.
No, not when we start,Chris, now.
I need you to promise now,
no pranks this weekendat Jessie's.
What?
No more pranks. Ever.
What do you guys think?Chris Brand here.
Allie wants to quitpranking forever.
Should I makeAllie a deal?
What do you thinkI should do?
Let me know!Send me your emails!
Send me your comments!
Subscribe and invite yourfriends and get their input
and let me know if Ishould quit pranking
and fuck this channeloff forever!
Gondaprofian?Petroliolium?
Ugh!
All this medication,just for one little baby.
Did you bring it all?
Yeah, I brought it all.
Why?
[Allie] I don't know howto give a needle.
Have you ever givensomeone a needle?
I have not.
Exactly.
But, I'll stick it to you.
Ew!
I'll just grab your bellyand pierce the flesh.
Gross!
You're a ridiculous person.
That's insulting.
We should make this weekend alocation scout for the wedding.
You meanuse Jessie's place?
Yeah, if it's cute.
It could be a cheapervenue option sure,
and since you're refusingto let me produce
the type of content that ourviewers are used to seeing
every Tuesday and Thursday,we need to scale back.
I'm not just talkingabout the wedding,
but everything,because we don't want to end up
fucking poor.
Do you really want to bea 40-year-old prankster?
Figure all of thisout right now, right?
Let's just have onelast fun weekend.
I want to drinka little wine.
Let's make a fucking baby!
You area ridiculous person.
Wow.
It's a fucking church.
[sings Hallelujah Chorus]
[David] Hello, hello.Welcome, you sexy people.
[Allie]Oh, you must be David.
[David] That's right.Welcome. Come on in.
-It's freezing.-Thank you.
-Welcome, guys.-Thank you.
Oh man, wow.This is awesome.
[David]Something else.
Alison.
Christian.
-David.-That's right.
-Are those for us?-Yes.
All right.Thank you very much.
They're real. Thanks.
-You're welcome.-Okay, stop.
Look at the both of you.
Fucking hot shit.
Real celebrities,in my church.
Celebrity. God bless.
Fucking gorgeous,in real life.
So neat to see this.
Real, you know.
You're always this bigin a YouTube thing.
Just kidding around.
Fucking hot shit, man.I am fucking stoked.
All right, I'm going tothrow these in some water.
This should beinteresting.
[David] Did you guyshear from Jessie?
Nope.
[David]Oh. Yeah, he's-
Oh!
[David] His flightwas delayed by an hour,
but he'll be herein a bit hopefully.
Did Jessie sculpt this?
Yeah. Don't touch that!
I'm just kidding.
Actually, don't touch it.
Don't touch anything!
-Jesus!-What?
-Don't fucking scare me!-Okay, sorry.
Sorry.
Jessie does scarymonster makeup?
[David]Yeah, he's pretty good at it.
That's so cool!
[David]I'm kind of over it.
You're a fucking dick.
[loud clang]
Sorry.
I made cocktails!
Fantastic.
Yes!
-There you go.-Thank you.
They're super boozy.
Cheers.
How old is this place?
It's old.
Really fucking old.
What's all this?
Okay, hold on.
Everything around here,it's all Jessie's.
This is mine, becauseI am a metal detectorist,
and these are my treasures.
You're a what?
Like a dirt digger, likea professional treasure hunter.
Oh. You get paid for that?
Yeah. I get paid in treasure.
This is an American
1880 Indian head penny.
Somebody cameto this church,
dropped it,100 years go by,
it's been sittingthere in the dirt.
I find it.
That is my payment.
I don't like it.It's creepy.
It's not creepy.It's awesome.
Do you want to seesomething creepy though?
Yeah.
Come here.
Place is awesome.
What do you seeout there?
Trees, fire pit.
-It's a graveyard.-Get the fuck out of here.
[David]I'm serious.
Long time ago it wasa full graveyard.
Over time allthe tombstones fell apart,
so they had totake them all away,
but they left allthe bodies in the ground.
Are you serious?
Oh yeah! Look at this!
Queen size!
-Chris!-What?
This place,it's terrifying.
Come on, it's cute.
All right, I told you whatJessie did for a living.
You said he did makeup.
Exactly.
No, you made it sound likehe was doing high fashion.
No, that was yourinterpretation.
I said Jessie isa makeup artist.
That's exactly whatI said word for word,
"Jessie is a makeup artist."
Babe.
All right, I didn't knowhe was making monsters here.
I swear to god,I didn't know.
I promise,I didn't know.
Just don'tfucking prank me.
I won't.
Why is he so weird?
I think he'skind of funny.
[whistling]
[David]I can hear you.
I'm coming from the ventthrough the floor.
Warmer. Warmer.
Oh, look at that,now I can see you.
Just so you know,if you either want to cover up
the vent with the carpet or justtone it down a little bit,
and then you gotyour privacy.
Good tip.
I'll let you knowwhen dinner's ready,
through the floor!
Sounds good.
[David]Fuck, really?
Can they doanything about it?
What time? Fuck!
Just tell them that you'regoing to get fired or something.
Okay, that's real good.
Hi, guys. You clean upvery nice, don't you?
Go take a seat,pour some wine.
I'll bring dinnerover in a minute then.
Smells good.
What time we talking then?
You won't gethere until 9:00.
I know. Did you get the whiskey?
Okay. Fuck.
Bye.
Okay, I got good newsand I got bad news.
What do you want first?
Bad news.
[David] Jessie missed hisconnecting flight.
He's not getting here until9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.
That's a bummer.
Yeah.
What's the good news?
Dinner's ready!
Mussels from Brussels.
What?
This one's allergic.
Allergic? To what?
Bivalves.
Bivalves?Those are mussels.
Yeah, mussels, scallops, clams,anything that can have it.
Oh. Gluten-free too?
Yeah, gluten-free,dairy-free,
don't eat pork,no beef really.
Pescatarian mainly.
[both laugh]
Same with you?
Mm-mm.
I love mussels.
I love them.
I never get to eat them.This is great.
Bring them over.
She can have my share.That's great.
That's great. Yeah.
Do you not likepotatoes too?
Oh, I like potatoes whenthey're in French fries.
Okay, they're frites, so...
Mm mm mm, that's good!
I haven't hadmussels in forever.
I know. They're so good.
-They look good.-Tasty.
Whoa.
I like it.You like them?
-Amazing. Delicious.-You like the sauce, eh?
So delicious, oh yeah.
How are your fries, babe?
Delicious.
With the mayonnaise,so good.
Yeah, they didn'treally turn out
as well asI wanted anyways.
-They're fantastic.-It's okay. You know what?
I'm fine. I'm fine.
You okay?
I'm fine.This is great.
To have you guyssitting here is weird
because I'm a huge fanof your videos.
-Oh really?-Yeah.
I couldn't believethat Jessie
actually went toschool with you.
When he told me that,I was blown away,
because I've seenevery one of them.
-Oh really?-Yeah.
It's really incrediblehow the channel took off.
There are millions ofpeople all over the world
that just love to seepeople terrorized.
You know we hit10 million subscribers.
-Woo!-Do you know why?
Because people loveto watch other people
experience dread.
The environment's a mess,plastic everywhere,
Nazis coming out ofthe woodwork, school shootings.
It's a fucking mess.
That's why.
People liketo be scared.
You're really amazing.
-Amazingly talented.-Thanks.
Kind of like a scare wizard.
Scare wizard?
That's good.
I love that.
Yeah! That's awesome.
I'm going to use that.
Is it true that you actuallybelieve in ghosts for real?
I believe that there's-
100% true.
Talking about? Tell him, hon.Tell him about your family.
Her grandfather was a,he's a water...
-What is it?-Douser.
A water douser.You know what that means?
It means he took a stick
and God and foundwater under the ground.
He helped a lot of people.
Like a water detectorist.
-Exactly.-No. Yes.
And she has five aunts.
They're all mediums,which means they think
they have this connectionto the other world.
Do you knowwhat that means?
Holy shit.
Can you read my mind?
Yeah, you'refucking crazy.
That's not nice.
You're charming.
Anyway, without her,wouldn't be possible.
I owe it all to you.
Does the internet payreally well for that?
It's good.
No.
Not about the money.
All this stress, these pranksput so much stress on me.
No baby's going to wantto grow in my belly.
We got to stop.I'm out. I'm done.
That's it.
We're out of the game,on to bigger and better.
Stop.
She's a little tipsy.
You know,
I just listenedto a whole podcast
on how alcohol actuallylowers your inhibitions,
can make you hornyfor your partner,
make you want tofuck your partner.
That's the best wayto make a baby.
Okay, but just pullthe carpet over the vent.
All right.
There's two waysto skin a cat here.
One, go to bed earlywith the vegan.
[Allie]Boo!
Okay, or you couldfucking tear it up.
Ding ding ding.
Plan B!
Woo!
You want to step to me?It's a travesty.
Go get your leash,little bitch.
Let me take you for awalk and pee,
because I'm busting this mic theway that I bust up your cock.
Stroke suck tick tock,it's fucking dick o'clock,
and now I'm all up in thisfucking weirdo's face,
but don't you worry, man,
sit back while Iterrorize your place!
Oh!
Yeah!
[all cheering and laughing]
Okay, I'm up next.
All right.
Woo!
[all laugh]
♪
Oh!
Have you guys everdone mushrooms?
Mm-hmm.
This is a gluten-freetea beverage.
[all laugh]
It's like mushrooms.
There's saffron in itand then some other thing.
It's less like,and more like.
There's no bivalves,
so unless you'reallergic to hot water.
Heat makes the pressure.
It's likea pressure cooker.
I light this up.
The water's going to go...
Oh! Yeah!
It's hot!
Bleh.
What the fuckwas that, dude?
♪
Really?
I can see you.
-What?-Fuck!
Whoa. You okay?
What is it?
I saw something.I thought it was you.
I'm right here.
I know.
Whatever's in that shotwas super strong.
No, Chris,I'm seeing shit.
I am fucked.
Yeah.
I know.
-Whoa.-Yeah, things are moving.
Chris, whoa.
Yeah. I know.
I'm tripping. I'm fucked up.
Does your skin feel weird?
Yeah.
Like melty?
Yeah.
What was inthat shot?
I came up hereto tell you something.
Something.
You're the best.
You are.
What you said in the car,you're right.
You're right.
What'd I say in the car?
About beinga 40-year-old prankster.
Fuck that. I'm not-
-Fuck that!-Yeah.
I'm going biggerand better.
Yes.
I cannot stop thinking aboutwhat you said at dinner.
What'd I say at dinner?
What you said
about getting pregnant.
I want to get pregnant.
Me too.
-I want to be pregnant.-Yeah.
You're the most
beautiful thingI've ever seen.
You're absolutely the bestthing ever to happen to me.
I'm so luckyto have you in my life.
Totally appreciate you.
What? What?
Where's David?
He's passed outon the couch.
[coughs]
[screams]
Chris.
[roars]
[yells]
[yelling]
[grunts]
Alison?
[shivering]
[grunts]
Fuck.
[grunts]
Al!
David!
Fuck.
Anybody!
Alison!
Heat.
[grunts]
David!
Alison!
Al!
Fuck are you guys?
Hello!
Fuck.
Allie! Allie!
What the fuck!
What are you doing?
Hey! Hey!
Allie! Allie!What are you doing?
Hey. Hey.What the fuck?
What are you doing, Allie?
Al. Alison.
What happened to you?
Talk to me! What happened?Why were you outside?
We've got to go.
Allie, fine.
Just the fucking assholegave us some bad shit.
All right?
You're going tobe all right?
I'm going to findthat fucker.
I'm going to getthe power on.
You're okay.
Okay. All right.
I'll be backin two minutes.
Okay?
[humming]
Oh yeah. Okay.
Fuck.
There's no powerin here, Al.
Al?
Alison! Al!
Alison!
Hey! What are you doing?
How long havewe been here?
I don't know,10, 12 hours.
What? You okay?
What?
The flowers.
Oh, fuck.
Where's my phone?It was in my pocket.
Where's my phone at?
Where is it?
You got yours?
No.
Where's my watch?Where's my watch?
Who fucking caresabout your watch!
It's not here! Where's yourphone? What day is it?
Where's your phone?What day is it?
My phone's gone too!
Let's see. Look in your purse.Look in your purse?
-Yes!-Huh?
Yes!
I got to find outwhat day it is, Al.
We need to getout of here, okay?
Maybe it's downstairs.
Where is it, Al?Do you see it?
-I don't know!-Fuck.
I'm looking, okay!
Fuck!
[Allie]Let's just go!
Fuck!
Chris, let's just go!
Chris, I just wantto get out of here!
Give me a second,all right!
Keep looking forthe phone, please!
[Allie]I am! Where did you put it?
If I knew where I put it,I wouldn't be asking you
to look for it, would I?
Chris!
Ah!
Why are you fuckingaround with a radio?
Huh? That's what I'm doing.
[radio] We'll see temperatures quiet throughout the day
before dropping again this evening.
That's your morning update for today, April 6th.
Did he just sayit was the 6th?
It means we've beenhere for four days.
Oh, fuck!
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
It's all right.
We've got toget out of here!
We've got to get outof here!
We find the phones, Al.
Stay with me. Stay with me.
Let's find the phone. Okay?
Do you have the keys?
Yeah.
Then can we please just getthe fuck out of here!
Where's the car?
If you have the keys,how can the fucking car be gone?
I don't know!
Chris.We need to call the cops.
With what?We don't have our phones.
Even if I had them,I can't charge them!
There's no power!
What? What?
My charger.
Yeah!
All right!We got power!
Find the phones.Come on.
All right. Okay.Look upstairs.
Our phones have to be here,so look everywhere.
Everywhere!
Dammit!
[Allie]Chris!
You find it?
What the fuck is this?
[Chris]This isn't me.
Don't mess with me.
This is on.
What?
Motherfucker.
David!
David! Where you at?
Huh?
We figured you out, bitch!
Where your cameras at?
David!
I'm waiting righthere for you!
Come get me!
Trying to prank me, huh?
What's yourmaster plan now?
You got camerasin here, huh?
Come on, get me!
David!Where you at?
[radio static]
[grunting through the radio]
[screams]
Al! Al! Al! Al!
What?
Get me the fuckout of here!
The fucking car,you piece of shit!
Believe this shit.You all right?
Fuck! Goddammit.
[muttering]
What?
Do you have the medicine?
Ah!
Goddammit!
Fuck you!
We're going back.
-No.-Yes, we are.
-We're going back. Come on.-I can't go back.
Let's go.Yes, we can.
-Come on.-I can't.
Come on. Come on.Come on. Come on.
You can do this.Come on.
Yes, you can.Yes, you can.
-Come on!-I can't! I can't!
I'm not going tolet them hurt you, okay?
You didn't see it.
I saw it. I saw it.
You're not goingto go in the house.
You're going towait outside.
I'm going to go in, and you'regoing to wait outside.
All right?
I'm going to get ourmedicine back, okay?
For us.
I'm going to do that.
I have to do that.
Okay.
I love you.
I'll be right back.
All right?
Okay.
[screams]
Al!
[screams]
Allie!
[screams]
Allie!
Allie.
Allie. Allie.
Hey. What happened?Are you okay?
What happened?Are you all right?
What happened?Hey. Oh, fuck.
What happened to you?
Look.
How is there power here?
What is this?
A fucking generator.
Who is this?
[Allie]It's us.
What do you mean it's us?
He's taping us?
Everything.
What you mean everything?
He taped everything.
[Chris]Oh, fuck. Are you shitting me?
You fuck!
Fuck.
What is this?
Sinners Red Room.
"Expect fun games,mingle and torture as promised.
Take part in this oncein a lifetime opportunity."
Spectator, one Bitcoin,Commander 10 Bitcoins.
Fuck.
This is Tor.
This is the Dark Web.
"A weekend with David."
Are you kidding me?
How many camerasyou got here.
You fucker.
Oh, fuck.
You motherfucker.
Fuck.
Who the fuck are you?
Fuck you!
No.
Don't look at this.Don't look at this.
Don't look at this.
Motherfucker.
Season Three?
Oh my god.
Fuck.
Blah blah blah.
David?
David.
Chris!
Holy shit!
I think he's still alive!
Fuck!
Jessie? Jessie?
Fuck!
Oh, fuck, man.
Oh, shit.
Sit up.
Can you sit up?
Can yousit up?
Get this off of him.
Get thisoff of him.
All right. Okay.
Here we go.Here we go.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, no.
What the fuck?
Just go down.Just go down.
You're not supposedto be down here, yet.
Where do you thinkyou're going?
We're not donefilming with you.
Wait a minute.Are you scared?
Scaredy pants.
You look really cutewhen you're scared.
Please don't shoot,don't shoot, don't shoot.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
"Don't kill me."
Don't you know thatcreating a life
is a privilegegranted by God?
Jeepers creepers,
where did you getthose peepers?
Okay.
What have we got here?
Oh, that's gross.
Ew!
These people are sick.
Stand up!Stand up!
Do it, just do it.
Okay. All right.
Get readyfor your close up!
♪
Now you're going todance for me, okay?
Oh come on, dance.
Come on.
Don't be shy.
You'll be great.
There's a lotof people watching.
Oh come on. Dance.
It's just you.Dance. Come on.
Shake those lady hips.
Come on. Dance.
[sobs]
Let go of...
Fucker!
[sobs]
You are amazing.
♪
It's okay, Allie.It's okay.
Wow. That's some talent.
♪
[grunting and sobbing]
Look at her.She's a star.
We're making her famous.
♪ Now she's gone, like the turtle dove ♪
♪ In the pines, in the pines, in the pines ♪
♪ And I say grace that lies on the hill ♪
♪ I know she's cold and fast
Wow!
You are so interesting.
Looks like wefound our new lead,
so that's a wrap on Jessie.
[laughs]
[screams]
Shit!
Fuck you!
[screams]
♪ I ever loved
♪ Was taken away from me ♪
[gunshot]
[sobs]
[engine revs]
[grunting]
Okay!
Okay! Let go!
[sobbing]
[gags]
Fucking bitch!
[sobbing]
Fuck! Ow!
Fuck!
Ow!
Okay!
Oh, fuck!
I'm gonna get you!
[gags]
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
One, two, three.
Ah!
[screams]
Ah, fuck!
Oh!
Okay.
Fuck.
Okay.
I'm going tofucking get you!
[gunshot]
[laughs]
[cheers]
Look at you now!
[laughs]
Boom!
Looks like the episode'sgoing to end pretty good!
I'm going to go get you,you fucking bitch!
Fuck! Ow!Fucking shit!
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Okay. Okay.
[grunting]
Okay. Okay.
[grunting]
Okay. Oh.
Okay.
I'm glad you all tuned in.
Everybody lovesa nice twisty ending.
We'll see wherethis goes, okay?
Finally,
we got a finalseason finale!
She tried to get away.
Fucking fuck!
Ah! Fuck!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[screaming]
-We bought a church.-You bought a church?
Yeah. We came acrossthis church that was converted
into a bed and breakfastin the '70s,
and it's a little rustic butwe fell in love with it,
so we bought it.
Yeah, we actually sold ourstudio and moved to the country.
Wow. You live in a church?
Oh my god.You two should come up.
[Chris]I love going to church.
[Jesse] David and I havebeen dying to host.
You'll get to meet him.
It sounds really nice.
-Yes.-Great!
Done. Awesome.
We're going to haveso much fun.
Yeah!
♪