Downloaded from YTS.MX
[mystical music playing]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
This is my best friend Léa.
Léa speaks five languages,
cannot stop eating Haribo candy peaches
and has cystic fibrosis.
Which means that she was born with thick mucus trapped in her lungs
and so is hyper susceptible to bacteria
that could limit her ability to breathe.
It means she takes upwards of twenty digestive pills a day,
means she will go to the hospital every three months
to test her lung function for the rest of her life.
And it means, according to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
that her life expectancy hovers around 37.
On average,
for most people.
But Léa isn't really most people.
She doesn't talk about cystic fibrosis.
She refuses to take antibiotics.
She almost never does her breathing treatments.
Léa smokes.
But she's fine.
She's more than fine, actually.
She's more alive than anyone I've ever met.
Léa falls in love every three months,
loses her phone every two weeks
and works out doing flying trapeze.
For my 21st birthday
[people sing happy birthday]
Léa handed me a cake with 21 joints on it.
For my 22nd birthday
-Léa made me jump off a bridge. -[screams]
And at 23,
as we graduated,
she convinced me to take a trip.
One, she promised, would change my life.
In three months, we traveled through an indigenous village in rural Jalisco,
a hippie beach town on the Mexican coast,
the Peruvian Amazon,
and the Atacama Desert in Chile.
Léa was sure that in Latin America,
there was another way to heal herself
and she was ready to find it.
And as always
I was coming with her.
[ambient buzz]
The summer after we graduated from college,
Léa tested positive for a dangerous bacteria in her lungs:
Pseudomonas.
[chattering]
Five years before, according to Léa,
a woman in Mexico City had cured her of the same bacteria, using magnets.
The only biomagnetist in California, according to Yelp,
was in a strip mall in Upland.
[door knob clicks open]
-Hello. -Hi.
-How are you?
Magnets are so cheap
and they have been around forever.
And it's a shame that people don't know
all the things that we can do with magnets.
-Do you know what cystic fibrosis is? -Yes.
-Right. So I have cystic fibrosis. -Okay.
One of the main dangers of the sickness is that
you can catch bad bacteria
that normal people would eradicate.
These are my most powerful magnets.
We don't want to waste too much time looking for a spot, right?
Right. So, no, it's for sure in the lungs.
With basic detox, we do lungs, kidney, pancreas, bladder,
ascending and descending colon.
And the basic detox addresses the Pseudomonas?
Trust me, once you body returns to a pH balance,
it won't tolerate any toxins.
We're going to give this until four, which is more than one and a half hours.
Okay, thank you.
[whispering] Do you think this is really going to work?
I mean
I don't know, you know...
We flew to Mexico City
and as we get there, this woman does this.
But now this is like my life, and then, she just says, like it's gone.
I was like, "Are you sure it's okay?"
"I know, I checked, it's gone." And there's no more of it, you know.
And then maybe my mom
You know, you're just like...
Yeah, we like walked out and then came back to L.A.
and then did the the test and then it was gone, you know?
And like, maybe it's the antibiotics, but for me
it was just such a...
-It was just crazy, you know. -[hums affirmatively]
And no one, like no one knows about this and like,
in moments where you're like close to death
like something so important that you're... you're down to just like
throw away all your beliefs,
there's things that are crazy that happen
if you're open to it, but I've no idea if this is true, though.
[chuckles lightly]
Wow, I can really do feel different.
-You do, huh? -[laughs and giggles]
A few days later, Léa's test came back negative for Pseudomonas.
[music starts playing]
And even though we couldn't prove it was the biomagnetism,
it was all the evidence she needed.
Léa felt like she had found
an inexplicable alternative to antibiotics.
And by her logic, if that was possible,
then the world was full of inexplicable solutions.
And she wanted to find one.
Or a few.
So she made a plan for us.
We would start in Mexico City and go south from there
going wherever and talking to whoever we needed.
She was ready to try anything,
essential oils, plant medicines,
shamanic ceremonies,
horse therapy,
and frog poison.
It's just that I really want frog poison.
[family buzz in the background]
Life was easy for me in L.A.
I was born into an Iranian Jewish family
with an elaborate web of on aunts, uncles,
grandparents, sisters and cousins in L.A.
who are all quite sure that I did not need to go off to South America
hunting a cure for an incurable disease
I didn't even have.
Actually, after hearing a brief outline of our plan,
my mother yelled
that I would get kidnapped somewhere in Mexico
and then she would get my fingers in the mail, demanding ransom money.
[family spouts prayer]
[indistinct French talk]
[laughs]
[chattering in the background]
She was...
fifteen months.
I have a very bad memory in general, but that moment
is stuck in my mind forever.
What were you thinking was going to happen to her?
I was thinking that I should...
[in French] I don't want to speak about this now.
Okay, okay.
I was thinking...
[Dad speaks in French] You do it.
[in French] Come already.
[in French] I don't want to talk about it now.
I mean, we were expecting to see her with more, more issues, you know.
Um...
But she's Léa, she's Léa and she...
thought that... I can't really explain.
[Léa's friend] Especially because it seems like...
I mean, she doesn't do her treatments so well.
-I know. -Right now.
I know she doesn't do it.
Well, I don't.
I think she's going a little too far.
-You think so? -Yeah.
Because of you think... like, in what way?
I think she's taking too much risk.
Sometimes I think that she lives, she acts like if she wasn't sick.
That summer,
when it was time for Léa's checkup in Brussels
-[ambulance siren] -I went with her.
[breathes heavily]
[woman speaks in French] One, two, three.
[breathes quietly]
-[coughs] -[woman speaks in French] There you go.
[coughs]
[woman speaks in French] That will do.
[doctor] Okay.
[coughs and cleans throat]
[doctor chuckles]
[coughs]
[cleans throat]
[doctor speaks in French] Do you smoke?
[Léa in French] Sometimes. Very rarely.
[in French] So you have a few smokes here and there.
[in French] This last year, would you say your symptoms have evolved?
[in French ] Yes, I've been coughing a bit more.
-[in French] Have you taken antibiotics? -[in French] No.
[in French] I hesitated.
[in French] I thought, since I'd be seeing you full time... [chuckles]
[in French] You should have taken antibiotics.
[in French] Sorry.
[in French] Last time, I tried to make you take antibiotics,
[in French] just think about it twice a day, morning and evening.
[in French] You don't do it, and you don't look bad, that's for sure.
[in French] But what's also true is that,
[in French] if you get worse, you probably won't notice immediately.
[in French] The problem I have with antibiotics, it's not due to time, it's...
-[in French] You're scared of them. -[in French] Exactly,
[in French] just the idea of antibiotics killing bacteria, I just...
[in French] I know it kills good stuff too,
[in French] so I wouldn't mind them for a month,
[in French] but taking them non stop, I just can't.
[in French] It might sound stupid, but I just can't bring myself to doing it.
[in French] No, it's not stupid. You're in a much better state than others.
[inhales and exhales heavily]
[in French] You won't live forever, but nothing ever does.
[in French] No, that's right. [chuckles]
[in French] Well, [laughs] lots of people have died before you,
[in French] but you are taking a risk.
[in French] With chronic cough, you never know when to expect it.
[inhales and exhales heavily]
[clicks inhaler]
-Oh, it's him. -[friend giggles]
Dr. Lubeck warned me about the trip.
Léa could lose her pills.
She could contract another bacteria.
He said cystic fibrosis is vicious.
Even if she's fine now,
she could suddenly get really sick somewhere remote
and there wouldn't be a hospital for me to take her to.
The whole thing you have to keep the... you is, it's the...
Only the right finger moves,
the left one always stays here.
And then your turn it.
And you lick it.
[match rubbing]
You sit back.
-[blows] -[friend chuckles]
[cleans throat] And when you blow [light chuckle]
[chuckling] you just put your head a little bit...
-I mean, you know that, but... -[affirmative humming]
[inhales]
Like, your chin is up.
[blow]
A little bit, like, you know, this is normal.
-Right there, you know. -[friend laughs]
So you're like a little bit superior. [chuckling]
Yeah. And you're kind of normal.
And you hold the cigarette like you're bored with it.
For bore, yeah, exactly.
Bored and then...
[friend laughs]
[blows]
[Léa] I know you so well, it's so funny.
-[titters] -[friend giggles]
-You do? -I do.
The next day, Léa's aunt told us a rumor
about a guy from Brussels with cystic fibrosis
whose family flew in shamans from Peru to help with his healing.
Clearly, we needed to meet him and after finding him on Facebook,
Léa wrote him a message.
[Léa] Hello Antoine, I'm Léa, I also have cystic fibrosis.
I would love to meet you to talk about [chuckles]
a project on which I'm working right now.
So, if you have some time this week or the next, let's go eat or get a drink.
I hope to see you soon.
He hasn't read it.
[friend] Well, it's been about five minutes.
-[laughing] Should I put a question mark? -[friend laughs]
So why are you afraid to meet him?
I just think if someone did that to me, I might think is weird.
"Hi also have [chuckles] cystic fibrosis,
do you want to meet up and, like,
-talk about it?" -[laughs]
You know, I find it a little bit weird.
But maybe, maybe, maybe it will be fine.
Léa's doctor warned us.
[music playing on the radio]
Cystic fibrosis patients are not supposed to meet.
The risk of bacterial exchange is too high.
But sometimes, there really is no stopping Léa.
[laughs]
So you guys are just...
-[Antoine] Yeah, it's... -Not gonna...
[laughing]
[friend giggles]
[Antoine] Hello, welcome to my home.
No, thank you so much. So, do you mind if I'm filming this?
Sure.
[in French] When you get bad news, how do you react?
[in French] I generally say, "Okay, what should we do?"
-[in French] And we do it. -[in French] Like, "Cool."
[in French] What about you?
-[in French] I say, "Cool." -[in French] Really?
[in French] Yeah. But it's been several years now that I've been saying that
[in French] and people kept bringing me more bad news.
[in French] When my body rejected my second transplant,
[in French] I started losing 10% breathing capacity per week.
[in French] My doctor told me,
[in French] "At this rate, in a couple of weeks, that's it.
[in French] So we're hoping to find lungs on time for you."
[in French] And I told him, "Cool, sure."
-[in French] Can't do anything about it. -[light chuckles]
[in French] You either accept it,
[in French] or you don't, so you cry, and you'll die faster.
[cheering music plays]
After meeting him, we went back to see Antoine a few times that week.
[engine starts]
Eventually, he told us about the shamans,
about Ayahuasca,
this psychedelic plant from the Amazon jungle that,
supposedly, had the power to heal illnesses, seen and unseen.
I had this fear of death I wanted to get rid of.
Right.
So I tried this Ayahuasca thing.
Such a miracle.
I had this feeling of serenity
-peace, and calmness. -[hums affirmatively]
In like five.
-[chuckles] -[light chuckles]
You're not ready to talk about it yet?
[laughs]
Okay.
Don't worry about it.
Antoine affected Léa in a way I hadn't seen anyone affected before.
He humbled her.
And I knew, as soon as he mentioned it
that Léa would find a way to try Ayahuasca.
[music continues]
[screams in laughter]
Do you trust me? [chuckles]
[giggles]
[laughing] Stay up.
[hums]
[laughs]
The night we arrived in Mexico City
we met a shaman in a taco restaurant.
A friend of a friend, Michelle, had been a DJ and a marketing executive
before she dropped everything to become a healer.
Now she travels around Mexico,
learning about different traditions and leading healing ceremonies.
The next morning she came to talk to us in the apartment.
I've seen complete transformations for people have had breathing problems,
heart problems, diabetes,
you know, esclerosis múltiple, all types of conditions.
I have a hard time believing that I can, like...
free myself out of [chuckling] this condition like intentionally,
although I'm super obviously [chuckles] attracted to the idea,
-you know. -[affirmative humming]
Well, I mean, I tell people, you know, "don't believe anything I say"
you know, it's something that you just feel
that you're doing the right thing.
You know, no matter what.
You know, and those are the challenges that our families, a lot of times
I say that our families are our greatest teachers.
Because they're going to try to do everything
so we stay the same and we don't evolve.
You know, and so we're here to break off,
you know, that system and that pattern,
-and if we listen to them... -[gasps]
I'm sure I was making sense a lot,
you know, because they're always telling us,
"you need to do this, and this and this is and this."
But who says how things should be?
[friend] So let's say we did want to come see you. Do you think we could?
Yeah, definitely.
-Yeah? -Sure, that would be really nice.
[chattering]
Around midday, Arturo, a shaman in training,
arrived with his coordinator,
who had a different kind of plan for us.
[in Spanish] Let's talk, let's talk.
[in Spanish] The ceremony I would have liked to do first,
[in Spanish] I would have preferred it to be with peyote.
[in Spanish] The peyote?
-[Léa cleans throat] -[in Spanish] It's super lovely.
[in Spanish] One thing is sure.
[in Spanish] He removes everything you don't need
[drum beats]
[in Spanish] and brings you closer to what you really need.
[in Spanish] I... so, it's...
trip, inside your body
and outside your body with the Mother Earth
-and you become part of everything. -[man chuckles]
[chuckles]
[laughing] Okay.
If you allow me
I can take you to heal yourself.
-[Léa laughs loud] -Yeah.
Yes, yes.
[continues laughing]
I can bet you
as much money, if you want.
It's genetic, though.
But you will heal.
You will be fine.
So you're saying you would go and say like your sickness is over?
-Yes. -Okay.
Yes, yes.
That's interesting. [chuckles]
I give my word to you that in this case
[in Spanish] you're going to be with the best masters in the world.
I'm working with this marakame.
In his town, his community,
the Wixárika people, the Huichol people,
we have like these three important events during the year
and one of those events is going to be this weekend.
Is La Fiesta Del Maiz.
-So if you want, you can, if you... -We can.
[speaks enthusiastically] Yeah, we've got you in.
So that is just like... There's no ceremonies there.
Yes, there will be. There will be ceremony.
-[giggles] -The whole weekend!
[in Spanish] Tomorrow.
[in Spanish] Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
[Léa titters]
[in Spanish] Are you going to consider them in?
[in Spanish] We'll then take them to the mountains.
[chortling] You ready?
Western medicine has no cure to cystic fibrosis.
The illness is genetic.
It would take a rewriting of Léa's DNA
to actually get rid of the sickness rather than just address its symptoms.
[chattering]
But Arturo told us he was learning an ancient indigenous spiritual tradition
from a shaman in a village called San Andrés Cohamiata,
two days drive from Mexico City.
He promised that the Elder of the village could cure Léa
in a sacred ceremony around a fire involving peyote, a psychedelic cactus.
They say that when you eat peyote and you are in the ceremony,
you can see the blue deer in the fire.
You shit in your pants when you see that.
You shit on yourself when you see that. Really.
Don't be scared.
I mean, I...
[raising intonation] No, I'm not scared...
-I don't take it like this, you know? -Yeah.
I think it's...
[Arturo ]No, I...
[Léa] I'm not against, you know...
I'm sorry if I may give you the impression that I am very like--
[Léa raises intonation] No.
You know. Come on, I will...
Maybe it's because really I am like that,
-[Léa] Yeah, you are, yeah. -Yeah.
[Arturo chuckles] Okay, I'm going to tell you
-as the way as it's going to be. -Okay.
I can assure you and I can bet you
that that ceremony, those hours,
that moment in your life,
will be, probably...
the best moment of your life.
[traditional folk music plays]
[woman sings in Spanish]
Here we go.
[chuckles]
-Good night. -Good night.
[music continues]
[yelps]
[smacking lips]
[in Spanish] Do you mind if we film you? We're making a documentary.
-[in Spanish] No. -[in Spanish] No? Just one question?
-[in Spanish] No. -Okay.
[Mexican music continues]
Two days, three cars and 600 miles later,
passed legitimate narcos and miles of corn fields,
we were in San Andrés Cohamiata.
The Huicholes or Wixárika
are indigenous people that survived Spanish conquest
and now preserve their culture in the mountains of Jalisco,
[music ends]
where they speak their own language
grow their own food
and practice their own religion.
Traditionally, the Huicholes are the guardians of peyote, or hickory.
They use the cactus for everything,
from scrapes and bruises
to connecting with their gods through the fire.
Peyote is actually one of their gods
alongside corn and the blue deer.
When we arrived we met Julian
Arturo's marakame, a shaman of the village
and he presented us and the camera to the village and asked if we could film.
The next day, at the annual corn celebration
Léa would be presented to the Village Elder to be cured.
The next morning, we woke up to discover that Arturo had already gone to the party.
-[chuckles quietly] -[child crying loudly in the background]
[speaking Huichol language]
[speaks quietly] Do you think we're gonna get there
and Arturo is going to be like, [chuckling] super fucked up?
-[mocking] Sort of, yeah. -[chuckles]
[breathes heavily]
[indistinct]
I don't know what happened.
[indistinct audio]
[whinning]
[birds tweeting]
The thing about spiritual healing is that there's no schedule of events.
[chattering]
We weren't sure what time we were meeting the healer
where to go, or who to talk to about it.
As we wandered around we met Toto and Chris,
friends of Julian who are from a beach town four hours west
and have been visiting San Andrés for years
learning the Huichol traditions.
They offered to show us the views outside the village before the celebration
and we very gratefully followed them.
[in Spanish] The Wixáritari culture woke me up.
[in Spanish] The system prioritizes a lot things that are very material, very banal
[in Spanish] and we forget about the Spirit.
[in Spanish] And the Spirit...
[in Spanish] is the most important because the Spirit has been to many places
[in Spanish] and it can...
[in Spanish] guide the heart in a way that makes more sense
[in Spanish] compared other material things.
[water splashing]
Without realizing it
we had spent over two hours at the waterfall.
When we got back to the village, Toto and Chris led us to the party.
[traditional drum playing]
There, we found Arturo again,
who found Julian,
who told us that they had been looking for us.
We were late.
The Elder had left.
He was old and tired
and so he had gone to bed.
Léa would not be healed with peyote or anything else.
Not in San Andrés.
[playful rattling]
Honestly, at that time,
Léa didn't seem fazed.
So neither was I.
Instead, we watched the families, played with the kids
and ate homemade blue corn tortillas.
At one point, a little bit drunk on fermented corn drink
Julian suggested I find a Huichol husband.
[cheerful chattering]
[traditional drum beats]
[crickets chirping and hubbub]
That night, we gathered around the fire
and tried to see the blue deer in the flames.
[branch crackling]
In the morning, we said goodbye.
We said thank you.
Toto and Chris invited us to visit them at the beach one day
and we made our way back through the mountains to Mexico City.
We left never knowing if the Huicholos could heal Léa
but we understood that entering the world of the Huicholos
was not as simple as Arturo had made it out to be.
Healing, it seems,
demands commitment.
Toto and Chris had spent nine years
walking the path of the Huichol religion
and still felt like newcomers.
They said they would never fully understand the tradition
or its healing.
Simply because they were not Huicholos.
On the way back, Léa was very quiet.
[coughs and cleans throat]
I feel lost. I don't know where to...
What I think or what I'm supposed to think or...
I am scared.
And I'm confused by...
I even went like, "what am I doing?"
You know, like what we're doing.
Like I know it all in my head but I'm like...
It's like... I don't know.
Silence scares the shit out of me.
Silence and like...
Nothingness and...
and...
not like a lack of action, you know.
A few days later, we met Lourdes,
the original biomagnetist who had cured Léa five years ago,
introduced her to alternative medicine
and was a major part of the reason we were in Mexico.
[in Spanish] To me
[in Spanish] like, the idea that the biomagnetism
[in Spanish] really works,
[in Spanish] still
[in Spanish] I can't bel--
[in Spanish] I mean, I believe it because I'm here
[in Spanish] but it's crazy.
[in Spanish] Regarding this, I recall an homeopathic doctor
[in Spanish] who came to see me few years ago
[in Spanish] and he told me, "I'm not going to tell you what I have.
-[in Spanish] You are going to tell me." -[hums]
-[in Spanish] To test? -[in Spanish] Yes, to test. Exactly.
[in Spanish] So, I started with the legs
[in Spanish] but after two minutes I told him, "you have herpes."
[in Spanish] He was... He couldn't believe it.
[in Spanish] Then, I gave him a therapy
[in Spanish] and he told me,
[in Spanish] "Lourdes, but the magnets!"
-[in Spanish] Yes. -[in Spanish] "The magnets."
[in Spanish] I told him, "Yes," I told him, "The magnets are the kings
- [in Spanish] for viruses." - [in Spanish] For viruses?
[in Spanish] And bacteria as well?
[in Spanish] Virus, bacteria, fungus and parasite.
[in Spanish] For instance, if someone has AIDS,
[hums]
[in Spanish] not AIDS, before it, the virus of AIDS,
[in Spanish] because when you have AIDS
[in Spanish] it already changed.
[in Spanish] Yeah, I had people with AIDS,
[in Spanish] With AIDS. And did they get rid of it?
-[in Spanish] Yes. -[in Spanish] All of them?
[in Spanish] Yes.
She said that every patient with AIDS that has come here, she cured them.
[Camille and Lourdes laugh]
[laughing] [in Spanish] She's like, "how?"
[in Spanish] Yes.
[in Spanish] I ask the permission,
[in Spanish] if it gives me the permission to search.
[in Spanish] It told me yes.
[in Spanish] Is there pseudomonas?
[in Spanish] Pseudomonas...
[in Spanish] Is there?
-[in Spanish] No pseudomonas. -[in Spanish] No?
[in Spanish] I had pseudomonas three weeks ago.
[in Spanish] Let me ask.
[in Spanish] Was there pseudomonas?
[in Spanish] It tells me yes, that you had it.
[in Spanish] Now, in this moment, do you have pseudomonas?
[in Spanish] No? Why?
[in Spanish] Because of the magnets.
[in Spanish] Point out to me...
[in Spanish] Some virus,
[in Spanish] fungus,
[in Spanish] parasite,
[in Spanish] bacteria,
[in Spanish] pathogens.
[in Spanish] But I can ask more, if you want to.
[in Spanish] Emotions,
[in Spanish] spiritual harmony,
[in Spanish] depression,
[in Spanish] emotional blocks,
[in Spanish] spiritual blocks,
[in Spanish] duda,
[in Spanish] duda.
[in Spanish] You have duda.
-[chuckles] -[in Spanish] What's duda?
[in Spanish] Duda?
Doubts.
-Oh! -[Camille giggles]
[in Spanish] What are your [chuckles] doubts about?
[in Spanish] You don't know?
[in Spanish] No.
[chuckling] But it's like...
[in Spanish] Yes, you know.
[chuckles lightly]
[in Spanish] You know.
[in Spanish] An alumna of...
The thing is, I was not convinced that it was magnets
that had gotten rid of Léa's bacteria five years ago
or in California a few weeks ago.
I wasn't even sure Léa really believed it.
What did you think?
Did you think that you...
Didn't have these bacteria?
That I what?
Like, she said, you know, you didn't have them.
I think she, like, took them out.
You think she took them out.
So you do believe her?
Yeah, yeah. No, I always did believe her.
I'm just tired, I'm like very... I'm thinking of...
The rest of the way back to the apartment
Léa did not say one word.
I figured she just needed space, so I left her alone.
[lid popping open]
Um... [cleans throat]
Well, first, like, I think
it's like super weird.
So, like, I wanted to address that first.
I mean, I sound the only one picking it up.
I've just been like feeling a bit weird inside and I just...
feel like you don't really care. Whenever I noticed that you're...
like, you seem to be like in a different mood
or you seem not to be completely in it,
like I always try to come to you and to ask you and I really fucking care
and yeah, there are signs I need help, you know, and it's like, it's just like...
It just hurts me when, like...
You don't ask if you can help.
Sometimes I'm like, "I do really need to explain this?", you know,
Do I really need to explain to you like why it's hard for me
and like why I need support and like why am I having some freak out sometimes and
I know when you mean the questions and I know when you don't, and like
something like yesterday, like if you're asking me, "how it was?"
and like, if you see I react weirdly, like, come to me,
like, "Léa, what's wrong?" You know, like...
[guitar strumming playing]
She was right.
I just didn't know how to help her.
Léa had never needed me like this before.
This trip was forcing us to ask questions of ourselves and each other
that maybe we didn't need to ask.
And there were things I had never reckoned with
and didn't want to.
Léa was always pushing things, pushing me
and maybe I just wasn't equipped for this.
The next day we decided to leave Mexico City
and visit Toto and Chris at the beach.
[woman sings in Spanish]
Can we?
[music raises]
We spent four days following Toto and Chris,
going back and forth between the beach and Toto's chocolatería.
Before settling in San Pancho,
Chris had spent ten years traveling through Mexico in a converted van,
which is how he met Toto and ended up on the path of the Huicholos.
Actually, but extraordinary coincidence
Julian and his family were also visiting San Pancho the same time we were.
Our last night with them
we asked Chris about his experiences with peyote.
Usually medicines,
what they do is they open your heart and they accelerate process
but it's always like looking within, and
facing your fears or the things you have to face
and the medicine puts your fear in front of you
because that's what you have to work on.
So sometimes I feel that a lot of people are afraid of taking medicine
because you don't want to face your demons and your fears, you know,
but that's what the medicine tells you, it's facing, and when you face it,
let go.
[waves splashing lightly]
[music continues]
The next morning
somehow
there was Michelle, the shaman we had met on our first day.
She told us we were ready to do a peyote ceremony with her.
[music fades out]
According to Michelle, peyote was a gentle spirit,
a grandfather, she said.
And it was good for everyone
and I should drink too.
[in Spanish] With the permission of Guardians,
[in Spanish] With the permission of the Great Spirit, with the permission
[in Spanish] of Mother Earth,
[in Spanish] I present myself here, Great Spirit
[in Spanish] In this sacred space
[mystical music plays]
[in Spanish] that I can work here with my sisters...
[Léa chuckles lightly]
We spent the whole day preparing for the ceremony
that would last till morning.
We made an altar and we wrote letters to ourselves and our parents
to give to the fire.
[ratteling]
The ritual felt foreign and a little forced to me.
Part of me found it hard to take it all
as seriously as Léa was suddenly taking it.
But another part of me was bored of analyzing and rationalizing mysticism.
I wanted to turn off my brain and for once, just be there.
It was harder than I thought.
[fire branches crackling]
[cricket chirping lightly]
[mystical music playing]
[drum beating]
[tribal chant]
[fire branches crackling]
Focus yourself on the fire,
you can converse with the fire,
everything that you want to share, any questions.
The fire is our teacher.
[crackling continues in the background]
[in French] It's strange to look inside of you.
[in French] I'm afraid of emptiness if I detach myself from my own self.
[in French] What if there's nothing after?
[in French] I'm afraid of walking towards an unknown place,
[in French] and end up in a desert on my own.
I want to...
release myself from...
from feeling...
so...
distant and...
far away from what's happening.
I want to be...
more present and more sincere.
As the sun rose I felt different.
Lighter.
And I didn't know what happened to Léa,
but she told me that the peyote ceremony had opened a door for her.
It was clear that plant medicines held some kind of answers
and she decided it was time to go to Peru and find Ayahuasca.
Antoine, Arturo, Chris and Michelle had all talk to us about Ayahuasca,
this plant that was supposed to confront you
with your worst fears and wounds,
strip you of your ego
and change you forever.
And peyote had shown Léa that she was ready.
I didn't understand how or why
but after the ceremony
[cheering music plays]
I felt close to Léa again.
Peru's sacred Valley is 3,000 miles from Mexico City,
4,500 miles from L.A.
We felt it.
Are you nervous? [chuckles]
-You look a little bit nervous. [chuckles] -No, not at all.
[police siren and horn beeping]
Antoine had pointed us to Pisac,
a town known as the alternative medicine capital of Peru.
In our hostel, we stumbled on Harry and Philip.
Do you came to Peru especially for ayahuasca
or because of the trip in general?
-It was just for Ayahuasca. -Okay, wow.
-We made no plans for anything else. -Oh shit.
And how long were you here for?
It was an 11-day retreat, five ceremonies.
Five ceremonies. Okay, this is a good opportunity to...
[girls laugh]
I'm going to enjoy this and smoke some cigarettes
and just listen to the icaros, you know, the songs.
But if you get confident
you will turn up the heat.
[Léa cackles]
That will come on over and think that...
that will make your ego coming away and what it's trying to tell you.
Yeah, the purge was so violent, like it...
You were throwing up?
When I was throwing up it was so violent that
it was like, it was like the... you know when you're throwing up
and you can still feel it reaching into the stomach.
Well, this was reaching back into my organs
into my throat, my head, my legs, my guts, just...
and it was so like... like I was clenching so hard just getting it all out
and it was just, it was like throwing up pure poison.
The second ceremony was difficult.
I actually got two cups
and my mother and father died
and I ended up in pain and suffering from illness when I was young
and it was making me feel that, and I was just, like, tearing at my top
trying to make it stop. I was really uncomfortable.
So yeah, I experienced that, but
it really affected me physically after the ceremony...
I was blind for a day.
It took me near enough a day to get my eyesight back.
And then that stopped and I just started to shake...
Like shake, the whole body rocking.
For two hours.
And I was shaking uncontrollably.
I was shaking...
-So now do you feel better? -I feel great. I feel great.
[girls laughing]
For you, before you came here, did you believe in it already, like...
[thundering]
Yeah, I was spiritual, yeah, but I had no idea about the power of...
[clicks tongue]
Yeah.
You know, you can't. You know. [chuckles]
It transforms. It will give you a change in some way.
But it's not something to be afraid of.
I have a genetic sickness that's called cystic fibrosis,
-I don't know if you heard of it. -Yeah.
It's kind of hard because I don't really know, like...
I don't really believe that it can cure me physically in any way.
It's nothing that she can't.
There is nothing that she can't do? Wow.
[laughing]
But I would say the most important thing about the whole process is--
-[loud thundering] -[laughing]
-Oh, it's hail! -Oh, wow.
[cackles]
Holy shit.
[laughs]
In Pisac, everyone seems to be on a healing journey of some kind.
But it was hard to tell what was genuine and what was an act,
what was really healing and what was a product to buy
or an excuse to get high with strangers.
Before we left,
I thought that I was here to like find out about plants that could cure me
and in the beginning we met Arturo
who was like, "Oh, I'll cure you."
And all my life, when people were talking about healing
it was always physical, it was always like,
"Okay, did you do this treatment? Did you do that treatment?"
It's always just like mechanical and physical.
I know that it has impacted me
[soft music playing]
like psychologically, and like maybe spiritually,
I don't know what that means, but...
And yeah, to understand like what...
what I really want and not like what I think is like...
Is like...
I should want given circumstances, you know.
[Camille] Everyone keeps asking about Ayahuasca, like everyone from home.
Like there's a way where all the stuff
is like, so commercialized and made so touristy, like super weird.
And also I don't know if I wanna do it, like in general, which we've talked about
but like I just...
I'm afraid. I'm like really pretty deeply afraid.
-Do you want to talk of what I think? -Yeah.
[Léa laughs]
Tell me what you think.
The moments where, like, I see you happy,
are the moments where you follow your instinct.
You know when you tell me like, "Oh, yeah, like you changed me or whatever."
I don't really think so, I just think like you don't trust yourself enough
that, like your instincts is like good.
I personally, like saw a big change from
-like in the first week, very honestly. -[laughs]
If you don't feel like something is right, like don't do it,
but not if it's someone else fears though.
You know, if it's your actual own fears, then maybe you shouldn't do it.
You're like, "Ayahuasca, I feel it's not right for me" then don't do it.
If you feel like, "Oh, my mom wouldn't want me to do it, then do it, you know...
-[Léa chuckles lightly] -Oh man, but it's hard to tell.
[chuckling] I know.
Oh man.
[laughing and humming]
[raising intonation] I don't know.
[in Spanish]...it's too commercial. And we don't want it to...
[in Spanish] we don't want it to be an experience...
[in Spanish] a commercial experience, you know.
[in Spanish] Therefore, it's interesting to see
[in Spanish]but I believe that we'd prefer to go to an authentic place, you know...
[woman speaks over the phone]
-Oh! -[hums]
Okay.
So basically she gave me the name of these people that are in Pucallpa
which is in the middle of the selva, near Iquitos.
And then I'm like, "Oh, I mean, then like, where?"
You know, they are in Pucallpa and she said, "Yeah"
and so I'm, "Should we just go to Pucallpa?"
And she said, "Yeah". So she's like, "Tell them that you, like...
that you did hikuri with Michelle Beton
because they're, like, they know her because they're like...
-Yeah. -As real as her, as like ancient as her...
So I think...
I mean...
-We should go there like, three days. -Are we going to meet her?
[laughs]
And she was like, "You guys should stay a week."
Okay.
So that's what...
-My mom is going to have a panic attack. -Yeah.
And... So she's like, [scoffing] "everyone that I've talked to who went there
and did this one, came back changed." [sneering]
So okay, let's go. [girls laugh]
It's so scary.
[girls laughing loud]
Pucallpa is where she's from. Pucallpa is where, like
you know, the Huicholos for hickory,
like ...like the ones for Ayahuasca, they come from there.
Okay.
You know, here, they don't come from here at all.
Ahi, ahi, ahi.
[inhales nervously]
Mosquitoes in the jungle.
It says... Okay, it says that
it's usually to address physical illness, strengthen the immune system
specific organs or to connect the spirit of the plants.
I wonder if they actually would claim that they can heal you.
It's just saying we're alone in our house, for most of the time doing
spiritual, mental and other works.
[chuckles]
And then it offers the chance to reconnect to the forest
and the spirit and spend time alone with yourself and your fears.
It can be used as a, quote, "reset button on your life."
If you're willing to step outside your comfort zone
and encounter the magic that lies outside of it.
[cackling laughter]
[laughing] That's all fine because I do have another meager lung.
Do you think those people are good?
Yeah, it seems really...
what we need.
Somewhere along the line
I realized I was about to do ayahuasca,
six times, in ten days.
And for once, it wasn't a calculated choice.
It was just what was next.
It was a step in the process I had started a long time ago.
I've started by stepping foot in Peru,
by picking up the camera,
by choosing Léa.
I had brought myself here.
[ambient music in the background]
And of course
as soon as I realized this, I started freaking out.
[phone ringing]
-[phone ringing] -[indistinct chattering over the phone]
[indistinct chattering over the phone]
We're going to the Jungle tomorrow.
What jungle?
We're doing like a ten day retreat thing.
What is this? What is this?
It's like an Ayahuasca thing.
How are you getting there?
We're flying there
-[Léa coughs in the background] -and they pick us up from the airport.
Flying? What was the name again?
Iquitos.
Iquitos. Okay.
Ten days? I think this is a lot.
Yeah, it's a long time, I know.
So you are sure this place is safe?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's safe. It's like a known place.
And there is a website, I'll send you it now.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Be careful.
Watch each other, watch her, watch yourself.
Don't eat anything bad.
Don't do anything weird.
[laughs]
I'll try my best.
-Okay. -Okay. I love you.
-Bye. -Bye dad.
[adventurous music plays]
[in Spanish] Ayahuasca is a medicine of our culture
[music ends]
[in Spanish] that in the past we used,
[in Spanish] when, in the past, it was the scientific medicine...
[in Spanish] they were very far
[in Spanish] and they took Ayahuasca and they would cure themselves with it,
[in Spanish] in the past, the first men, women and kids.
[in Spanish] Ayahuasca is not something to be afraid of.
[in Spanish] Because Ayahuasca
[in Spanish] cures all kinds of illnesses.
[in Spanish] In general,
[in Spanish] it cures
[in Spanish] our psychological traumas,
[in Spanish] traumas of our--
[in Spanish] of our dad, of our mom, of our siblings.
[in Spanish] Suicides, traumas...
[in Spanish] it cures our body,
[in Spanish] our digestive organs,
[in Spanish] and our head. Diabetes,
[in Spanish] AIDS,
[in Spanish] prostate,
[in Spanish] migraine,
[in Spanish] body's pain, shoulder's pain,
[in Spanish] joints...
[in Spanish] In general, right? General illnesses.
[in Spanish] Only two things happen in the world since the humankind.
[in Spanish] They are blocks
[in Spanish] and psychological traumas.
[in Spanish] Right? Nothing more.
[in Spanish] When you take Ayahuasca, you have to have in mind only one idea.
[in Spanish] Right?
[in Spanish] The idea of your intention:
[in Spanish] I will see my body.
[in Spanish] I want to to look at my body.
[in Spanish] I want to look at my body.
[in Spanish] I want to look at my stomach.
[in Spanish]I want to look at my trauma.
[in Spanish] I want, this way.
[in Spanish] Many people say that Ayahuasca is a drug
[in Spanish] but it's not a drug.
[in Spanish] It's medicine.
[in Spanish] Pure medicine.
[in Spanish] Many times I say,
[in Spanish] if Ayahuasca was a drug,
[in Spanish] Ricardo would be crazy.
[in Spanish] Ricardo would have a trauma.
[in Spanish] Ricardo would be about to fall to the ground.
[in Spanish] Right? It's killing himself.
[in Spanish] Right?
[in Spanish] Ricardo is going to die
[in Spanish] because he takes a lot of Ayahuasca.
[in Spanish] Right? No.
[in Spanish] Ricardo lives, Ricardo is strong.
-[people laugh lightly] -[cackles]
[laughs]
So what we what are we doing right now? I didn't understand.
-[pots banging] -This is what we call the vomitivo.
-The vomitivo, okay. -Yeah, the vomitive.
-Oh, to throw up, okay. -Yeah, exactly.
So we're meant to-- we're meant to vomit right now.
-Yes, that's the purpose of it. -[laughing loud]
-I'm just checking. -[all laughing]
-...takes 20 minutes. -[continues in the background]
If peyote is the Spirit of the Grandfather than Ayahuasca is the Mother,
unconditionally loving and unforgivably demanding.
Out of respect to her, you're asked to adhere to a strict dieta.
Firstly, the vomitivo, to cleanse your body.
[retching]
[laughter]
Then a strict diet of grilled whole fish, plantains and quinoa.
No sugar, no dairy no meat and no salt.
And after that, a master plant
different for everyone and chosen for you by the shaman
alongside Ayahuasca to help you through the process.
[in Spanish] I don't know if it's something
[in Spanish] that could be done with this drink.
[in Spanish] And... there is no cure.
[in Spanish] To clean your illness...
[in Spanish] To clean the block of your emotions
-[in Spanish] How many days? -[in Spanish] Ten days.
[in Spanish] Ten days.
-[in Spanish] We can use Piñon Blanco. -[in Spanish] Piñon Blanco?
[in Spanish] Thank you.
[in Spanish] We're going to help you.
-[in Spanish] It's certain. -[in Spanish]Thank you.
[in Spanish] Thank you.
What's your experience, like physically, emotionally
and structurally?
I'm a lot more...
negative than I want to be.
Like I find myself like...
always finding the dark side of the situation rather than the nice one.
And I think that that is like
very linked to spiritually how I feel, which is afraid all the time.
[in Spanish] The block of her faith,
[in Spanish] the block of her people...
[in Spanish] Piñon Blanco as well.
[in Spanish] We're going to change it to her.
-[in Spanish] What's your name? -Léa.
[in Spanish] Léa, we're going to change your plant. Your case is a bit worse.
[in Spanish] Okay.
[in Spanish] She's going to have Piñon Blanco because she's more...
-[in Spanish] She's healthier. [chuckles] -[Léa chuckles] Okay.
-[in Spanish] Six Piñon Blanco? -[affirmative humming]
[in Spanish] Six times to get rid of this illness.
Okay.
You have to drink it every day except tonight.
Okay.
[in Spanish] There are things that doctors can't do.
[in Spanish] But the plants can.
Cheers. [scoffs]
[jungle buzzing in the background]
I'm so curious now.
-A bit scared. -Yeah?
[silent room]
[audible footsteps in the background]
[audible footsteps]
[grunts]
[tribal chanting]
-[coughs] -[chanting ends]
[indistinct audio from recording]
[indistinct audio]
[distorted] Léa!
[man sings in the recording]
[tribal chant begins]
-[chanting ends] -[singing playful song]
[tribal chant begins]
[distorted audio from footage]
[chant ends]
[chant begins]
-[baby laughs] -[Léa laughs]
[laughing loudly]
[distorted] We were like, what about...
-[chant ends] -[baby laughter]
[random audio captures]
Hello.
Good morning.
[confused grunts]
-Good morning. -Good morning.
[door slams shut]
Happy birthday.
Oh, yeah.
-[chuckling] -[grunts]
[Léa groans]
[indistinct]
[smacking lips]
We're going to miss breakfast though, if we don't...
Okay, let's go.
Oh my God, this is so crazy.
-It was crazy, you know? -Yeah.
It taught me the biggest lesson in my life,
-What? Really? -Yeah.
What lesson?
It taught me that, like...
At the edge of the edge of the edge of the edge,
like the most drug thing you can do,
I have no idea of like, why we're here, like what we're doing,
like what I'm supposed to do and then I just felt like a kid.
Also I definitely talked to something.
-Really? -Oh, for sure.
Really, [laughing] one hundred percent.
I was talking to...
to her, which was super crazy.
[man 1] To who?
To Mother [chuckling] Ayahuasca.
[man 1] Me too, I was saying--
-Right? -[man 1] Yes, I was...
[man 1] I was trying to be very respectful.
Yeah.
[man 1] Yeah.
-[man 2] Did you have visions? -Yeah.
-[Léa] That's why I felt in control. -[Camille] No.
-[Camille] I didn't have visions. -[Léa] Not...
[Camille] I was just thinking about...
[Léa] trying to be in control, but... very much aware...
[Camille] in the beginning it was very confused to me,
-I can't really remember the beginning... -[Léa] I though I was going to lose it.
I know it's the strongest part but I was like...
[Léa]...awareness.
[Camille] I was really like.
[Léa] I felt like the most myself.
[Camille] Yeah, I don't know.
I was just kind of trying to get a hold of what was going on.
-[rooster crowing] -[Camille pants]
[chuckles]
[rooster crowing]
[weeping]
-You probably miss your family. -[chuckling] Yeah.
I miss them too. It's like hard, we're like...
[chuckles] we're so far.
Like in all sense of the term, you know.
-[sighs] -Give it some time.
[crowing]
I will always be there for you.
[Léa and Camille laugh]
Like in a real way.
Whatever you do and whatever happens to you and...
[sighs]
Some more?
It's good.
[tribal chant begins]
[chant continues]
[distorted] It's just going to be fine, really.
[distorted conversation]
[chant continues]
[loud chuckle]
-[breathes heavily] -[chuckles]
[chant ends]
I like, saw Mother [chuckles] Ayahuasca for the first time
and it was like...
really [chuckling] overwhelming and like really really beautiful.
And I was like flattened on the mat, like in so much awe.
And like just felt so...
crazy and amazing and felt like faith restored
pretty like directly and immediately.
[water splashing]
-[Camille screams] -[Léa laughs]
[dripping water splash]
[laughter]
Okay, let's let it dry on us.
There's a part of me actually that, when I'm in ceremony,
I'm convinced like it's real
like as real as the physical world to something we can't tap into.
You know what I mean? Like that you know, you see Mother Ayahuasca
and then the vision that she...
the jump of like she's actually there, like it's not just a metaphor.
You know that your brain is conjuring up,
Like, I don't know, what do you think of this?
For me, what I've come to for myself is that it doesn't matter.
-Right. -It doesn't matter if they're real or not.
-What matters is the results -Yeah.
and the results are real.
[sighs]
The shamans are taking their awareness
and their consciousness down to the molecular level
with their icaros.
They're working on the level of the DNA.
That's a great theory, I'm not rejecting it, but...
-there's like, there's no case, -Right.
you know, that just shows that that has happened.
If I go back and I don't smoke
and I do the treatment that I already have that exists
that already to me is, I mean, it is a complete game changer.
[singing playfully in Spanish]
[female laughs]
-[singing ends] -[cheering and clapping]
[laughing buzz]
[silence]
[tribal chant begins]
[distorted chant audio]
[chant continues normally in the background]
During the last ceremony
I heard Léa crying in a way
I had never heard before.
I thought myself out of my own vision,
and I softly yelled across the room.
I love you Léa.
I just didn't hear an answer.
I collapsed onto my mind
and considered just retreating back into the inside of my head
that I was so certain she had to hear me.
So I got up again.
I love you Léa.
and then I heard, "I love you too."
[chant continues]
[thundering]
[mystical tribal chant continues]
[chant cuts]
[doorbell rings]
-[door knob clicks open] -[distorted in French] Good morning!
[chant begins]
[indistinct audio from footage]
[chant continues]
[inhales and exhales heavily]
[distorted] It's a documentary about dying young.
[weeping] I can't really talk about it.
[distorted coughing]
-[distorted audio] -[in French] Would you like tomorrow?
[chant continues]
-[distorted] -[Camille] Second smoker.
[distorted] You like to film me, don't you?
[distorted laughter]
[coughs]
[chant fades out]
I mean, yeah, I know, I...
I just like, I just wanted it to be different
you know, than like what it was.
I was like, I just don't...
want to be there but it's so funny saying you always learning.
The question I asked was, "Why am I here?"
And I really think I'm here to help you. [chuckles]
-Like I really really think so. -[chuckles]
That is so funny. [chuckles]
I really is like, "Oh!" like...
And so I wanted to tell you.
[weeps] Oh my God.
Basically, like, that...
That like you can,
-you can chill. [chuckles] -[sobs]
[crying softly]
-[chuckles] -You can relax. [chuckles]
That it's like you
and I really try to take care of you.
[sobbing]
[weeping]
What were you thinking about?
Sickness.
The sickness? In what way?
It's like the--
It's funny because the first night I was like,
"Oh, I feel so normal."
You know? Like I just feel
normal like everything's fine like, "What the fuck am I worrying."
And the second night I was like,
I'm not normal.
You know, and like...
And just like... [chuckles]
There's like a lot of the...
[pants]
[humming]
Over the...
I just brought back like a lot of like [crying] childhood feelings, you know...
[whimpering] like, feeling this way...
[weeping]
Like just...
I keep feeling like different, you know, and like...
[whimpering] I just realized that...
[sobbing]
[whimpering] it was hard.
[breathes heavily]
So that, like...
whatever, like whatever this is going to do and like...
There's going to help or not, like I don't know. [whimpering]
It's just like something [crying] that I'm going to have to deal with.
[sobs]
And I do think, like...
the reason that I don't do it,
[weeping]
the treatments and...
I just feel that, like, you know
it's just, I...
It reminds me, you know.
[crying]
And I just don't know.
[sobbing]
[operating engine]
[traffic buzz]
[sighs]
No.
[weeping]
There wasn't a lot of time to deal with what had happened.
We're in a kind of shock,
beginning to process this huge download we had just received
but somehow we also had to get across Peru and into Chile
to meet a friend in the Atacama Desert,
the driest place in the world.
What did this make you think about your illness?
I actually think that...
the sickness is not something that I meant to get rid of.
I think the reason that, like during Ayahuasca,
I didn't try and go and change it is because
it just really to me feels like something that I need to work with.
Do you feel like there is a problem though or there was one when we started?
Definitely, definitely. I mean, I feel the problem was that, like I didn't...
I didn't acknowledge that it existed.
It's something that I need to work on.
It's like something I need to to take care of
Like I need to take care of myself and take care of my body,
like treated with respect, with care and be thankful.
Like that's enough for now.
[laughing]
[indistinct chattering]
Until he decides he's full and flies away.
I don't know how long will take.
But I want him to feel happy.
[cackling]
And to fly like freely, "Oh, I'm full, finally."
[melancholic instrumental music plays]
[music continues]
[music ends]
[in French] It's not easy, but try breathing slowly and that should work.
[exhales heavily]
[clicks inhaler]
[in French] See this? We've bought five of them--
[in French] Really?
[in French] The only thing my mom needs to know
[in French] is if it's above 100, it's okay, and she's happy.
[laughs]
She still had cystic fibrosis,
but she was fine.
No bacteria and an above average lung capacity.
Maybe even better than mine.
[in French] One, two, three.
[exhales heavily]
[breathes heavily]
They say that the real ceremony begins when you leave Ayahuasca.
You come back to your life and everything is actually exactly the same.
You are just different.
And I was different.
There was no way I was staying in Los Angeles.
Things change when you realize that under the right circumstances,
you can talk to a plant.
Léa is also different.
She hasn't lost her phone yet.
She's been in love with one guy.
And she does her breathing treatments.
And even though she doesn't smoke anymore
every once in a while, she steals a drag of my cigarette.