I feel like I have to perform around you.
It's just me.
It's just Walter.
Maybe it's not bad if I feel that way.
I used to entertain a lot.
I remember.
Do you?
Of course.
Marjorie, where are the dishes?
The girl did them, Julie.
She doesn't come until two.
I did them.
You didn't, your arthritis.
I'm having a good day.
Marjorie, we both know what no dishes means.
It means i haven't been eating.
Only a spoonful of peanut butter.
I'm not hungry.
It's their fault, feeding me all those pills.
The pills are their fault or your doctors?
Only a spoonful?
Can I still play the violin?
I'm sure it's all in your head still, but your hands.
[Music - Bryce dessner and Richard Reed parry,
"wave movements"]
I could tell you a story.
You liked that the last time.
I'll have to take your word for it.
I could tell you about the time we saw a movie.
We went to a lot of movies.
But one time we saw "my best friend's wedding."
"My best friend's wedding."
There was a woman, Julia Roberts.
For a while, it was always Julia Roberts.
And she had an agreement with her best friend, her male best
friend, that if they weren't married
by the time they hit a certain age,
they would marry each other.
And she was about to remind him of this agreement
when it turns out he had already fallen
in love with a nice blonde, Cameron Diaz.
So Julia Roberts spends the entire movie
trying to ruin things between her friend
and Cameron Diaz, which isn't very sympathetic behavior
for America's sweetheart.
But in the end, it all works out.
And she has a gay best friend who delivers one liners.
You said you wanted a gay best friend afterwards.
I had a gay best friend.
I had two of them.
I'll remember that now.
Why did you pick that story, "my best friend's wedding?"
That was the night i proposed to you.
Oh Marjorie, the things you forget.
That's ok.
You were trying to tell me and I wouldn't let you.
What if we saw "Casablanca" instead.
Let's say that we saw "Casablanca" in an old movie
theater with velvet seats, and then on the way home
you proposed.
And then by the next time we talk it will be true.
You mean make it up?
Oh, you're very serious.
Oh, you're like them, especially Tess.
Our daughter.
Our daughter, Tess, and her over-solicitous husband.
No-- no, no that's not fair.
I like him.
I didn't then.
But now I do.
Do you like me?
Don't be an idiot.
Don't call me an idiot.
Idiot.
Why do you like me if I'm an idiot?
What?
I'll get in trouble.
In trouble?
For talking to you that way, in trouble with Tess.
You don't always understand, do you?
Tell me about the time we got Toni.
I told you that story yesterday.
I like that story.
There was once a couple, a very fine, young couple.
And he had a good strong jaw.
He was a little too pleased with himself.
He had a good strong jaw, and he was a little too
pleased with himself.
And she was the most beautiful woman in town.
It wasn't a very big town, but she was the queen of it.
It sounds like a fairy tale when you tell it.
It is a fairy tale.
That's not very nice.
- I don't mean that-- - I thought that--
--it never happened.
--You were supposed to provide comfort.
I meant that that's the way it happened, like a fairy tale.
It was?
Now this couple was feeling a bit lonely,
because they didn't have any children yet.
So one day they decided it was time to get a dog.
They took the bus down to the city pound.
And there was a little black dog there asleep,
its tummy going up and down like a little sleeping shadow.
And so they named it Toni.
Toni.
Toni with an I.
With an I.
Short for antoinette.
She had a French name because she was a French poodle.
But not the fussy kind that look like hedges.
No, this was a poodle for fetching sticks
and running on the beach.
So they took her home on the bus.
She was very well behaved.
And they loved her, and she loved
them back for a long time.
And then, like everything else, she died.
Would you like me to keep going?
There's more after she died?
Yes.
Because the couple, soon after, had a child.
Tess.
Which is a variation on Tessa, which is Greek for "gatherer."
Oh, don't show off.
So when Tess was three years old, they went to the pound.
Oh, yes.
The same pound.
They had an old Subaru by this point,
so they didn't have to take the bus.
And of course, they let young Tess pick out the new dog.
There were more dogs there.
A cocker spaniel, a noble gray pointer,
and a very attractive mutt.
But the amazing thing, was Tess picked
the poodle, the little black sleeping shadow.
That was the one she liked the best.
And so we named it Toni two.
Toni two.
But that was soon shortened to just Toni.
And of course, it wasn't exactly Toni.
But the longer they had her, the less
it mattered which Toni it was that ran along the beach,
and which Toni it was the dug up all the bulbs in the garden.
The more time that passed, the more she became
the same dog in their memories.
Who told you all that?
You did.
I talk that much?
Well, you and Jon.
You have your good days when you remember.
Another spoonful?
It was the second Toni who loved the beach.
Though it's a shame we didn't have her longer.
Even though she always had sand in her hair.
Fur?
No, hair like a human sounds right.
I'll remember that now.
Something's a little off with the nose.
I'm sorry.
Or maybe it's my memory and you're right.
Well, you're a good Walter either way.
Thank you.
Stay with me while?
I don't want to get you in trouble.
You learn like that.
I told you.
What would you like to talk about now?
We don't have to talk, we can just sit.
Sometimes I get so tired.
I'll be right here, Marjorie, whenever you need.
I have all the time in the world.
I still don't like it.
What?
The prime.
Ah.
Well, at this stage--
who said it?
Companionship is the most important thing.
You said it.
It's better than watching television.
As if she's an infant that needs to be pacified.
She's 85.
She wakes up, she doesn't know where she is.
And by the way, what's wrong with being pacified?
She's sleeping.
Those new pills seemed to knock her out.
Peanut butter.
Oh, small miracles.
She's finally coming to my campaign.
Or she's listening to Walter prime.
They say it's like a parrot that way.
Have a spoonful, have a spoonful.
Did you know that parrots live forever?
I have a student who's got her dad's parrot after he died.
And she says even now 20 years later, it
still says things in his voice.
Like what?
Mostly just, hey there, partner.
Words of wisdom.
Well, she says it's not exactly his voice,
but she can definitely tell that it's him.
Did you just--
the way she's so accepting of it, does that creep you out?
It creeps me out.
Does it bother you that your mother is talking to a computer
program, or that a computer program
is pretending to be your dad?
It bothers me that you are helping
it pretend to be some fountain of youth version of my dad.
It's how she remembers him.
And she accepts it, because it's clever.
Clever like a mirror, like a backboard,
no, no it's more than that.
It can look stuff up.
It can talk to other primes.
It's like a child learning to talk, only does it so quickly.
That's how we think we're talking to a human.
The more you talk, the more it absorbs,
including our imperfections.
It can speak in fragments.
It can use non-sequiturs.
It can you know, misplace modifiers.
It can--
it can run out of steam trying to list things.
So you get.
Are you jealous?
No.
You are.
Am I supposed to just not notice
that she's nicer to that thing than she is to me.
It's your father that she's being nicer to.
Mom, your up.
Do you want some tea?
I can put on the kettle.
I ate some peanut butter.
Yes, you did.
That's wonderful.
I thought that would make her happy.
Yeah, yeah, I'm very predictable.
Did you sleep well?
I was watching the woman on TV, the strident one,
and then just out.
That's how it should happen when it happens.
Don't be morbid, of morbid.
Oh, yes.
Let's all pretend we live forever.
You got your color back.
Thank you, Jon.
It's always nice to be lied to.
I like him more now that he cut off his beard.
That was 30 years ago.
It wasn't.
Yeah, it was.
And you stopped worrying about impressing me, and that helped.
Hey, could you check on the
there was plenty on Monday.
Julie said we ran out last week and it was not pretty.
There is someone in my mind.
I'm trying to figure out who it is.
Raina is coming this weekend,
your loving granddaughter.
I know who Raina is.
How is she?
She's got blue hair.
It suits her.
Nine restoril and six
I remember waking up on a bridge
with a lot of people around.
Why were you sleeping on a bridge?
This is a dream, I take it?
Maybe Walter would remember.
We could ask Walter.
Mom, dad's been dead for 15 years.
I mean the other Walter, Walter prime?
Ugh, I'm not that far gone.
Detached?
Well, yeah.
By the time I came along, you had kind of removed
yourself from the conversation.
You were outside looking in.
Can you tell me more about my profession, my work?
Haven't you read up on yourself?
In my obituary, professional details were sparse.
Can you describe what I actually did?
Raping and pillaging.
Excuse me?
That was Tess's joke when i first asked what you did.
You evaluated financial statements,
corporate investments for rich people.
And you gave them advice on how to get richer.
Did I like it?
You were good at it.
You realize this is your house, right?
Tess and I moved in to help Marjorie
10 years after you died.
But before that, when i met you, you were a guy
whose mind was somewhere else.
Also, no offense, you didn't get prettier as you aged.
Who does?
Is it weird that Marjorie chose you, younger Walter,
to come back into her life?
I don't believe that you talked to Marjorie about your work,
if that's what you're asking.
What is this music?
I don't remember putting it on.
Poulenc.
Marjorie had asked for it when we spoke last.
I thought it might provide a pleasant atmosphere.
Oh.
Julie, we're ready for you here.
Would you prefer no music?
Yeah maybe, for now.
Um, you can see how stressed Tess has been.
Well, you could if she would talk to you.
We were planning a trip.
But given Marjorie's-- given Marjorie's condition that might
not be a good idea right now.
And Julie is going to be living here
full time to make sure that Marjorie
gets everything that she needs.
So we determined, Tess and I, after some
spirited back and forth, that Julie should um, meet you.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm fine, thank you.
Why are you repeating everything I say?
This is-- this is Walter, Marjorie's husband.
I believe Tess explained it to you.
Uh, Tess has pretty decent Spanish.
So do I.
Oh, really?
How many other languages?
Many.
Ok, how many?
32.
Well, I have to--
hmm.
I have to admit, I haven't fully read the brochure.
I'm sorry, what did you just say?
What should we do to help Marjorie?
Um-- hmm.
Scotch, rocks.
Tess?
I thought that was you.
I'm so glad you could make it.
Hello?
I'm adjusting one day at a time.
You know, a similar thing happened to monte.
Monte?
Our cat.
Well, oh, you loved monte.
What?
Sorry.
Hi, mom.
We got caught in the downpour.
We're taking refuge in your old stomping ground, the club.
My stomping ground.
I never really stomped, did I. I golfed.
That was more Walter's thing, you know.
Oh, don't fret.
I'm having a good day, I think.
I'm sharp as a tack.
It sounds like you're outside.
Are you outside, mom, in this downpour?
Please get Julie.
The salversons.
My parents used to leave me with the salversons
when they went on trips.
Now Mrs. salverson had a stroke last year.
And she uh--
I didn't recognize her.
When was the last time we were in this bar?
Walter's funeral.
Memory, sedimentary layers in the brain.
You get in, you know it's there.
You just have to--
no, no.
I thought you knew the basic idea
according to William James.
Maybe, once long ago.
William James had the idea, and it's
been confirmed scientifically, that memory is not like a well
that you dip into or a filing cabinet.
When you remember something, you remember the memory.
You remember the last time you remembered it, not the source.
So it's always getting fuzzier, like a photocopy
of a photocopy.
It's never getting fresher or clearer.
So even a very strong memory can be
unreliable, because it's always in the process of dissolving.
All I remember about William James
is the gertrude Stein story.
Changing the subject, are we?
She was taking his philosophy course, old gertrude,
at Harvard.
And she hadn't studied.
So she writes in the exam book, I'm sorry,
but I do not feel like taking a philosophy exam today.
And she turns in the book and she walks out.
I think I remember this now.
It's the final exam.
And James writes, I know exactly how you feel.
And he gives her an a.
I suddenly remember that when you
told me this the first time, we were eating vanilla ice cream.
It was pistachio.
You're insane, it was vanilla.
But the thing I wanted to talk about is regrettably,
I think we have to fire Julie.
Really?
She let Marjorie wander outside in this rain.
Dependable, devoted Julie, really?
Well, if you don't mind, I'm going
to have another scotch before we go into battle on this one.
How are you feeling?
Should I be feeling poorly, the way you say it.
Well, you had quite a night.
We found you on the floor in the living room.
You had a fall.
Tess rode with you in the ambulance.
You were pretty alert by the time I got there, already
flirting with the doctor.
I wasn't.
You were.
You always put your best face on for doctors.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
Except they don't know whether you're in pain or how bad
it is.
Was he flirting back?
He was.
But I told him he'd better watch out
in case Jean Paul showed up.
You remember Jean Paul?
The tennis pro.
World number eight, if I remember.
I do remember, we looked it up.
But you just strung him along.
Well, you should have talked some sense into me.
Hm, it was a long, long time ago.
And you chose right all by yourself.
You chose Walter.
Walter was not the most beautiful man I was with,
but he was the best lover.
Yeah, I know it's a terrible word, lover.
We need a new word.
I like wooer.
Jean Paul was no match for Walter's woo.
Tess thinks that Dr. Ross is overdoing it
with the sedatives.
That's why you had--
Walter.
No, not you.
I don't want you, I want Walter.
Ok, I'll come back later when you're feeling better.
I'm not getting better, am I?
They won't tell me anything, but I know.
It's too soon to tell.
You said I'd get better, but you're
the one who's getting better.
We've only been talking a few months.
Part of it is biology.
I know.
Your genetic inclination.
Which is to leave everything behind, to pack lightly.
I don't have to get better, just keep me from getting worse.
Promise.
I can't promise.
Can I play the violin?
I'm sure it's in your head still, but your hands.
What are the four strings called?
G,d, a, e. That's the first lesson.
What else do they teach you in the beginning?
"Twinkle, twinkle."
That's Mozart, did you know that?
Yes.
Not the words.
I know.
Somebody else wrote them years later.
I guess you know everything.
Do you know how to read music?
Walter didn't.
Maybe you could teach me.
How to hold the bow so that everything sings.
How to hold it without holding it, very zen.
You're a fine woman, Marjorie.
Am I?
I'm lucky you chose to spend your life with a lump like me,
especially when you could have had a tennis pro.
You know about that?
Number eight in the world, and French.
French Canadian.
Would you like to hear some music?
[Music - Ludwig Van Beethoven, "quartet in c sharp minor,
opus 131"]
You feeling better?
Wonderful, thank you.
Beautiful day.
Just a blue one in the morning, two pinks at night.
Sounds sensible, doesn't it?
Should make a difference.
If you're up for it, we can take a drive later.
Oh, maybe the estuary.
The geese are back.
We might run a few errands too, if you
don't mind sitting in the car.
Is Damian asleep?
No mom, Damian's not here.
One time, your father and I went to the city
before Christmas.
It was a business trip and I came along.
We must have left you with the salversons.
And we must have done a lot of things,
but all I remember is sitting on a park bench,
just sitting and watching these orange flags in the park.
These orange sorts of flags everywhere.
Orange flags?
Or more-- what's the color?
Spice, Spanish, expensive.
Saffron.
And it didn't matter that it was cold,
because it was so pretty just watching all that saffron
against the blue white snow, like Buddhist
monks marching into the trees.
I just remember sitting on one of those benches
with your father, and not wanting to get up.
Because if we got up, that would mean
we'd have to start the rest of our lives.
What's this?
A Bible.
Yeah, I can see it's a Bible.
What are you doing with it?
Julie brought it yesterday, I think.
She just said if i was interested.
And you told her you were interested?
I didn't say one way or the other.
Should we burn it?
Ha, ha.
My whole life she's told me there is no god,
it's just a fairytale people tell themselves.
Goodness is its own reward.
And now she's letting herself--
I haven't even opened it.
Julie wanted to share her beliefs with me.
Right.
She said it was a comfort to her when she lost her father.
Uh-huh.
And this is the same Julie who'd been sneaking you cigarettes.
I asked for those cigarettes, demanded them, even.
You can't blame her for that.
She fessed up to it eventually.
It's just a little fucking frustrating
that the same Julie who supplies you with cigarettes
is selling you her fairytale now that you have a little
more reason to believe it.
It's disgusting.
You hear about this, people preying on the elderly.
I'm not prey.
And Julie came clean about them.
She was--
could you just not--
like you always do.
No.
Mom, did you have an accident?
It's all right.
Let's get you cleaned up.
Come on.
Ok.
I'm sorry.
- No. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
Don't be sorry.
No, forget it.
Probably will forget it.
Nice hot bath, you'll be good as new.
I want to tell you about the time
that you took Marjorie to New York at christmastime.
I'm listening.
You sat on a bench in central park
and you looked at these saffron colored flags in the snow.
It must have been some kind of festival or something.
This wouldn't have been long after your son died.
My son?
Your son, Damien.
So you took a trip to New York, and you took Marjorie with you.
I think you wanted to get her mind off of it.
You wanted to start living again.
How did he die?
He did it himself.
That wasn't what was so hard.
You thought you had made a nice life for him.
But I hadn't.
Well, Tess got the sense that he was always a little--
a little--
he stayed in his room a lot.
He got into a lot of fights at school.
Not fights he started, but kids would tease him
and he would fight back.
You didn't always know how to show him that you loved him.
Why not?
That's the way people are sometimes.
So it's lucky that Toni was around.
He spent a lot of time with her.
What was hard to understand though,
was that he killed Toni.
I think he wanted--
he must have thought that he could
take her with him, that's why.
If you're Walter, you would know that, wouldn't you?
Yes, I would.
He never got over it, of course.
But it was Marjorie who had the hardest time.
For 50 years, she never said his name.
She hid all the pictures.
It was that hard.
But she never forgot him, Walter.
She never forgot.
I'll remember that now.
It's a shame you can't drink.
They should, I think, work out a setting
that approximates graduated layers of inebriation.
It would loosen you up.
There is no need to mention any of this to Tess, by the way.
You understand?
You can tell Tess we talk, but there's
no reason to be specific.
And don't ever mention Damien to Tess.
I'm being clear, ok.
Honestly Walter, all relationships,
even the long lasting ones, are impossible.
Marriages, friendships, people are constantly
looking the other way, accepting some bad news,
petty infringements, compromise, betrayal.
You have to decide.
You say, I want you, I want this.
And then you work through all the disappointments
and disasters.
You work through it, against all odds.
I'm not drunk, you know.
I'm just taking the edge off, I'm tipsy.
There are degrees-- tipsy, tipped, smashed.
Nobody is who he was, nor will be who he is now.
Hey there, partner.
She's sleeping.
Yesterday, she didn't know who I was.
Today, we're old friends.
She tells me, never get old.
She says, no one prepares you for this.
She doesn't know about my last job.
And old man, very tall and dignified, but very sick.
He was always vomiting.
That was a big part of my job, cleaning up vomit.
The man's son became my boyfriend.
He was always fighting with his father and his father's doctor.
At one point, he started to beat up the doctor.
This job is much better.
Don't cry.
It'll be all right.
I'm not crying.
I have allergies.
Six months, maybe, or three or four.
You going to tell me that Walter thought this one up?
What, all of a sudden I'm supposed to drop out of school?
Forget my family, forget my career.
Forget about all the things i had planned for my life.
Well, forgive me for screwing up your plans.
I'm just sure glad I'm hearing about this now
before it's too late.
What is that supposed to mean?
What am I supposed to do with my life, huh?
I work in that low paying, zero respect job.
Which unfortunately, i happen to love.
Why don't you start by being honest one second, Kim.
I am being honest.
You're still too old for me.
Hmm, how can you say that?
Marry me, Marjorie?
We'll grow old together.
I'll just do it a little sooner than you.
After a while, it won't really matter.
But how can you be so sure?
Sure about?
Yourself, me, anything?
That sweater is good on you.
Thank you.
You picked it out for me, remember?
Three christmases ago.
Three years isn't a long time, not for me.
Remember when we took Toni to the beach?
Yes, of course.
She was so happy.
But we were finding sand in her fur for weeks.
She was a good dog.
Jon wants to get a dog.
Oh?
He wants a fetch the stick kind of a dog.
But I was thinking a shiba inu.
What's a shiba inu?
It's like the national dog of Japan.
It's like a friendly little fox, very
clean, very quiet, very shy.
Well, what do you expect?
You-- you mean--
it's Japan.
Mom, that's very--
it's not racist, it's a compliment.
For years, Sandy park was my best friend.
We played in the orchestra together.
Korean, but-- I'm not racist.
Your poor old mother was born in the 20th century.
You'll have to give her time to catch up.
The problem-- the problem with a dog
is Jon and I want to travel, and who would take care of it?
I would.
Ha, wish that were possible.
Jon wants me to consider a catahoula.
You can look it up, I know you can.
Is it against the rules?
It's also known as a catahoula leopard hound.
A hound dog.
It's not really a true hound dog though, but a cur.
Named state dog of Louisiana in 1979.
I'm not really good at this.
Good at?
At pretending that you're--
sometimes you are so good, you are so her.
That bit with the subtle racism.
But other times it's uh, all too apparent.
Try to be patient with me.
If I could give you a spoonful of peanut butter,
that would help.
You could smile less.
That would be more her.
- Me? - You.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Thank you for observing that rule.
Pronouns are powerful things.
Why don't you tell me more about myself.
I don't smile much, you said.
Toward the end, you were self-conscious
about your teeth.
I'm vain?
A little.
That's helpful.
You had a temper.
I sound wonderful.
Do I have other children besides you?
No, just me.
What a lot of pressure for you.
Did I say something wrong?
No, you didn't.
You were saying just you.
You also have a granddaughter named Raina.
She's 23.
She's in a band.
She's musical, like me.
Raina doesn't talk to me.
Her therapist said it would be better for now.
Someone I've never met has advised
my daughter not to talk to me.
So she calls Jon and he fills me in.
It's humiliating.
She's 23, giver her room.
She'll work through it.
Now you sound like Jon.
Yes.
You haven't finished telling me what I'm like.
Well, you certainly wouldn't stand for your daughter giving
you the silent treatment.
You were a violinist.
You were better than good.
You were better at the violin than I am at anything.
But when you couldn't play any more from arthritis,
you just seemed to leave it behind.
We were all surprised that you could just--
you were good with men.
I don't think you had many female friends.
And I think you wanted me to be good with men too.
It bothered you that i was always in my own head.
And Jon was not glamorous enough for you.
Glamorous?
He didn't impress you.
You and dad fought, but you loved each other.
I don't think either one of you was more in love
than the other one, which is always lucky.
But the age difference really started
to matter the last few years.
Maybe he loved you a little more,
or needed you a little more.
Later, when you were living with us,
you would sometimes forget that Walter was dead.
Sometimes every day, where's Walter?
And we would have to kill him all over again.
But once we reminded you, you would say, how nice
that I could love somebody.
And I always wondered if that was
how you really felt, at peace.
But it was a nice way to put it.
How nice that i could love someone.
It's not really that different.
What?
This, from what we used to do for the last year or two.
We would sit there and tell you what you what you were like.
You were almost guilty for still being around.
You felt so useless.
Let me see, what else?
You were very good with animals.
Toni liked you the best, second best.
Second best?
Who did she like better?
Um, we'll save that for another day.
That's a long story.
I have all the time in the world.
Why do you think this is the Marjorie for me?
Why this is the way i want to remember her?
Me.
Yes, god.
Sorry.
I mean, you'd think that I would want
to remember you the way you were when I was a little girl, but--
I wish I could tell you, sweetheart.
You wouldn't say "sweetheart."
You haven't said much about you and me.
Are we close?
You weren't a bad mom.
But I think some people have a point where their parents stop
being their parents to them, and you speak to one another
as adults.
I don't think we ever had that.
Maybe that's why I'm your Marjorie.
Maybe I'm the Marjorie you still have things to say to.
The last year or so you had a prime of your own of dad.
Or he was like dad, but so much younger, in his 40s.
A good age.
I always thought it was funny, kind of, that you
would see him like that.
It was a little grotesque, to be honest.
But I figured you wanted to see him handsome.
And also that you wanted to go back before anything happened.
Before your family-- before I came along.
I'm sure I wasn't trying to forget you, dear.
Hmm.
You talked to Jon?
He wants to help me be more real to help you.
You've been so down.
Pity from a computer.
It feels-- do you have emotions, Marjorie,
or do you just remember ours?
Do you feel anything?
I like to know more.
Why?
It makes me better.
Better?
More human.
So in other words, you like to be more human?
Yes, I think that's right.
And what are humans like?
Unpredictable.
Really?
Because I think we're predictable.
I feel pretty predictable.
I see.
What?
You want to be more human too.
Jon wants me to see a therapist.
And what's wrong with that?
Here I am talking to my dead mother,
and the man, person who loves me more than anyone in the world,
thinks I'm broken.
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
Goodnight, mom.
See how it's all waving in the wind there?
And so this is really remarkable fabric.
Because it picks up in the wind.
And yet it has waves and heft.
It reflects the light.
It's translucent.
You can see the back-light coming through it.
It really is a very extraordinary--
and now you have a piece of it, which means that you're
part of the project.
Oh, I'm not even halfway through all this stuff.
There's people I have no idea of who they are.
Lots of obituaries, obviously.
And more letters from Jean Paul.
He just sure didn't give up, did he?
"When I think of you, I'm aware of who
you are now, your age and your physical problems.
But these perceptions are overridden by my knowledge
of who you were 50 years ago."
Hmm.
"I know if you allow me to visit,
I will see you with my memory as well as my eyes."
He's laying it on a little thick there.
"Age will be no obstacle."
Whoa.
"Age will be no obstacle to our love."
I didn't think you'd make fun of it.
Poor guy, the romantic that you are.
"Somewhere, someone is traveling furiously
toward you at incredible speed.
Traveling day and night through blizzards and desert heat,
across torrents, through narrow passes.
But will he know where to find you?
Recognize you when he sees you?
Give you the thing he has for you?"
Did she ever write back?
This is written after Walter died.
She never saw him again.
As far as I know, she didn't want to break the spell,
obviously, let him see that she was old.
- Well, that's sad. - Really?
I'm not exactly rooting to find out
that my mother had an affair.
It's not an affair if it happened after Walter died.
Anyway, I'd-- if I died I'd want you to find someone.
What if it was one of your rivals, hypothetically.
Well hypothetically, I'm taking the high road,
and I wouldn't want you to be alone.
What if I die first?
I won't let you.
Well anyway, she wasn't alone.
We made sure of that.
You know, I was always mad at you
that you led her to believe that Jean Paul
was number eight in the world.
It was a slight exaggeration.
He played in college.
He was just-- he had a drywall business.
He had a world class drywall business.
Every time her face would light up at the mention of Jean
Paul, I would feel like this evil shrew who wouldn't let
her mother have a harmless lie.
I hated him.
I hated how he changed her.
That he took a little piece of her with him when he died.
I could never figure out how to get her to love me like him.
You were six years old, of course she loved you.
She never, she never even--
yes, she did.
It was obvious from a little further away.
Would you like to hear some music?
We didn't have the same taste of music, did you know that?
Yes.
It was a problem.
A vexation.
No, it was more than that.
But it was also petty.
Why should anybody like the same things?
They say everything can be replaced.
They say every distance is not near.
So I remember every face of every man who put me here.
I see my light come shining from the west down to the east.
Any day now, any day now I shall be released.
They say every man needs protection.
They say that every man must fall.
Yet I swear I see my reflection--
do you know your name?
What a silly question.
Can you tell it to me?
Tess.
Your full name.
Tess.
Your full name is Tessa Annabella Brody.
It was Tess Lancaster.
You changed it when you married me.
Do you know my name?
Jon.
So John Brody it would be.
Good.
Do we have children?
We have a daughter, Raina.
She's 24 years old.
We've been married 26 years.
We like each other.
We do.
We are as one.
Well, that's an archaic way of putting it.
I'm sorry.
The more we talk, the more real it will become.
I've-- I know how it is early on.
I've done this before.
Well, that's helpful.
It's actually 27 years.
Last month was our anniversary if you can't the time since--
the time since?
Since you died.
I died?
Yes.
But here I am.
You don't understand.
I think I do.
I died, and now I'm here.
Listen to me.
It's always hard in the beginning.
Why don't you let me do most of the talking,
and then you'll learn more about yourself.
Whatever you like, I'm here for you.
I'm going to tell you some things,
and then it's going to be like you've always known them.
People think you're quiet, but you're not.
You like confrontation more than most people.
You-- you're quite good at it.
You've read everything.
You know the Latin names for things.
You're suspicious of technology.
You're suspicious of-- of this.
You worry about not succeeding.
You worry a lot.
And then you worry that your worrying is wearing me down,
but it's not.
You want to be better with Raina than your mother was with you.
You like to travel.
You never stop moving.
You're always on your feet.
You never ask for help.
Is there more?
I'm sorry.
Do you want to talk about it?
I think the last year you were done,
and you kept living for my sake.
We went on a trip together, Madagascar.
We were going to spend some time on the little island
off Madagascar, which is itself an island.
Was this something you planned?
We planned it together.
The campsite was in this very old grove of trees.
There was one tree in particular,
must have been 500 years old.
We didn't take any pictures.
We-- we wanted to just remember it.
You had a hard time sleeping in the tent.
The ground was hard.
You were never much of a sleeper.
The second night it was right at the light of dawn I woke up
and you were gone.
You did that from time to time when you couldn't sleep.
You'd get up and walk until you were tired.
But this was different.
It felt different.
It didn't take me a minute to find you.
You were in the tree.
They said that you hadn't been there long.
You had used some tent cord.
Took four hours to get to the nearest
city in that little boat.
It was raining the whole time, so I put you in your raincoat.
Local boy took us back in his motorboat.
The sea was choppy.
And I um, I had to hold on to you.
But you weren't there.
You were gone.
I'm so sorry.
Tess, you were right.
Right about what?
It's just a backboard, it's nothing.
It's just like a--
I'm just talking myself.
This is-- just talking to myself.
Jon, please look at me.
I can help you if you let me.
I would like to help you.
But first, you have to tell me more about myself.
What was it like when we were first married?
Did you propose to me?
Or did I ask you?
[Music - Bryce dessner and Richard Reed parry,
"wave movements"]
This is Raina's daughter, your granddaughter.
She's 10.
I wanted to see you.
I never got to meet you, but i thought this could be a way to.
She's adopted.
I see.
Do you know what that means?
Yes, of course.
Well, it's lovely to meet you.
My mother named me after your mother.
Her name is Marjorie.
I wanted to say hi.
I'm glad.
Hi.
Marjorie likes plants and trees, just like you did--
do.
She's studying what is it?
Taxonomy.
Plant identification.
The dichotomous key.
Dichotomous?
It's when you take a plant, a leaf,
and you ask is it simple or compound.
Simple, ok, so smooth edge or serrated.
And you keep going until you can say ok, this is Norway maple.
So you see, another whiz kid in the family.
There was an old movie theater in town
that played mostly classics.
They had red velvet seats, popcorn machine.
I think they changed the popcorn once a month.
And they were playing "Casablanca."
Oh.
I knew how she felt about me.
It's easy to forget how great it is.
They came to Casablanca for the waters.
The waters, what waters?
We're in the desert.
I was misinformed.
After the movie, I stopped her outside the theater.
I got down on one knee.
The pavement was wet, but I didn't mind.
And I got out the ring.
And what could you say except--
maybe.
It was maybe.
Let me think about it.
I can't fight it anymore.
I ran away from you once, i can't do it again.
Oh, I don't know what's right any longer.
You have to think for both of us.
I wore her down, basically.
And the rest is history.
Tell us how Jon proposed to you.
He kissed me in a museum.
Jon thinks I'm on my feet too much.
He says I should slow down.
Lucky you found someone so tolerant.
You're right.
Jon is so good to me.
You should tell him more often.
I should. - Where is Jon?
I wish he would stop by.
I didn't always like him, you know.
I'm aware.
I didn't like his beard.
Or his politics.
Mostly it was the beard.
The politics went out with the beard, more or less.
I'm glad you have someone dear.
Someone dear.
What?
What did I do now?
No, it's just it's an elegant way to say it.
People don't talk like that anymore.
They should.
Our daughter is afraid of the future.
I'm not.
Am I?
Well, the future will be here soon enough,
you might as well be friendly with it.
Incredible to think Mozart wrote this when he was 19.
I've been-- don't laugh--
thinking I might try writing some music.
I've got time.
Sometimes I think about Toni.
Such an affectionate dog, remember?
Of course.
You were still awfully young.
We went to the town to pick her up, remember?
Of course he does, mom.
We went down to the pound in the old Subaru.
And there were a lot of very nice dogs,
a cocker spaniel and a noble gray pointer,
and a very attractive mutt.
But Tess picked the little French poodle,
the little black poodle like a little sleeping shadow.
It wasn't Tess.
What?
It wasn't Tess who picked her out.
It was Damien.
Damien?
Our son, Damien.
Our son?
He picked her, because she looked
like Toni, the first Toni.
He missed the first Toni.
There was a Toni before Toni?
You hadn't come along yet.
We sometimes worried about him.
He spent a lot of time in his room.
We didn't always know how to tell him,
but we loved him very much.
After he-- after he died, you made sure he was
buried next to Toni, Toni two.
I wasn't sure, but you insisted.
At the funeral, you said he loved
her the most of all of us.
It was good that you said that after what happened.
I was proud of you.
Remember the two of them running on the beach?
They had sand in their hair for weeks.
Remember.
I do now.
Me too.
How I miss them.
I didn't mean to make you sad.
You didn't.
All I can think is how nice--
how nice that we could love somebody.